


Yeah I don't think we're dealing with a shapeshifter here

by NuffSaid



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adorable Dean, Angst, Charlie Lives, Dark, F/M, Fluff, Hurt Sam Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Kid reader, Possessive Behavior, Protective Castiel, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Sam Winchester, Reader-Insert, cute relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2018-04-19
Packaged: 2018-05-23 17:52:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 39
Words: 170,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6125100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NuffSaid/pseuds/NuffSaid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You let out an ear piercing scream.<br/>It was quiet for a few seconds, before the second voice answerd the first.<br/>"Yeah I don't think we're dealing with a shapeshifter here."</p><p>You didn't think the Winchesters had babysitting in their job description. You also didn't think they'd actually be good at it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Rescue

Chapter 1 - the rescue

The footsteps were nearing the door slowly. You wondered if monsters liked playing with their pray. Why they didn't just burst into the room and kill you.  
They already figured out you were alive if they decided to pay you a second visit.  
Your numb legs tried to push your shaking body further under the bed - away from the door.  
You clamped a hand over your mouth and tried to stop your breathing. Held it there when the door started turning. When it squeaked. Even when it opened completely and you could see two pairs of legs stepping in from under the bed.

They stayed that way for a while, not moving - as if they were just looking around. Maybe they were enjoying the mess they've made. If they found you, would they enjoy discovering the mess they made out of you too? What would they do to you? Would one hold you down while the other -  
Mommy!

You wanted to scream out to her, but she wasn't moving. wasn't listening.  
The tears kept flowing and you watched them hitting the top of your legs which bunched up against your chest. They were washing away some of the blood that stained your pajama pants, and you felt nauseous.

Red. So much red.   
Red on the curtains. Red on the carpet.   
Red coming out of your mom's mouth -  
Your heart was thumping against your chest so hard that you were shaking all over and choking on air. 

"Did you hear that?"  
Oh no no no no no!  
The thumping grew closer and closer, and all you could do was shut your eyes tight in hope that when they found you, you wouldn't see it coming.  
Would it hurt, being dead?  
The thumps stopped right in front of what you presumed to be the bed, and you couldn't do it anymore. You couldn't hold it in. 

"Stay away! Please sta-y a-way!"  
You managed to push out. Your legs were shaking and your arms were tightning around yourself in an embrace that you knew wouldn't protect you from anything. With the way your chest was jumping up and down so erraticaly it was no wonder that your voice came out so broken and weak.  
"Did miss (Y\L\N) have a daughter?"  
"Either that or that shapeshifter we killed had another friend."

You had no idea what kind of a twisted game they were playing, but at the moment you didn't care, you just wanted it to be over. You blinked your eyes open when curiosity won you over, but quickly regretted that when you saw one of them getting on his knees beside the bed - as if he was getting ready to try to pull you out from under it.  
You let out an ear piercing scream.  
It was quiet for a few seconds, before the second voice answerd the first.

"Yeah I don't think we're dealing with a shapeshifter here."  
You suddenly noticed that your heavy breathing was blocking out angry whispering.  
You only caught the last of their conversation though "-You do it!"  
You heard one of them sigh, and then a head popped out from under the bed, startling you. He looked pretty for a monster. Not at all what you expected. He had brown shoulder length hair, a triangular nose and a pair of worried eyes.

You shifted until your back finally hit the wall. You weren't gonna fall for that trick again. The monster that ki-  
The monster that did what it did to your mom looked just like Aunt Grace. You would have still thought it was her if it hadn't all of a sudden torn and stretched itself out to look like uncle Ben.  
"Um.. little girl?"  
Your sobbing intensified. What were they going to do? How many shades of messed up were they? 

"P-please! Please don't touch me!"  
Your eyes jumped to your mom's body out of instinct. Almost expecting her to get up from the bloodied carpet and protect you.  
The monster's eyes softened. Weird.  
"My name is Sam, I'm not gonna hurt you, I just want to get you some place safe."  
Yeah right. As if you would fall for that.  
They were gonna take you somewhere and kill you. Maybe even invite a few more friends to watch the show.

You shook your head frantically and tried to become one with the wall behind you.   
The head retreated for a second.  
"Dean, a little help here?"  
A second head popped under the bed, looking a little irritated.  
You screamed at the top of your lungs again.  
"Ouch.."  
The second monster clamped its hands over its ears in annoyance. Dark blond hair and pretty green eyes. A bit of pity in them that didn't sit well with you for too many reasons.

"Look, we really aren't gonna hurt you alright? We just wanna help."  
You shook your head again.  
"What's your name?"  
Why would they wanna know your name?   
You curled up into yourself more, if that was even possible, and a new flow of heart wrenching sobs escaped out before you could stop them. You almost couldn't recognize your own voice. It reminded you of the helpless wails of a new born baby.

"Hey no! Uh.. Shh shh.. Don't uh, don't cry!"  
Those green eyes were looking at you with just as much helplessness. What type of a monster doesn't know how to handle a crying girl?  
It turned it's head back, looking to it's companion for assistance.  
"Sam! Do something damn it!"  
Do something? Do what?! What were they going to do to you?

"Please! Just stay away!"  
The one named Sam pushed his head back under the bed again.  
"Hey, It's alright.. We.. got the thing, It can't hurt you now."  
You looked at the two pairs of concerned eyes. Really looked at them this time. They seemed... sincere?  
Was it really possible that they weren't monsters?  
But what if they were just playing with you? Making you trust them before they killed you?  
Your hands tightened around your body until they turned white.

"Easy there, sweetheart. We just wanna help."  
Two pairs of eyes looked at you, so genuinely worried, and so.. calming. Why were they making you calm?  
Your breathing was evening out a little.  
"There we go, breath."  
Breath. Green eyes was right - you had to breath. But it was hard. You inhaled too much air by accident and started coughing. Your throat was sore from screaming and no air made it into your nose no matter how hard you tried. You felt like you were suffocating.  
There was no air!

"Try it with me. In, out. In, out."  
Your eyes snapped back to the man and locked themselves there. Who ever said that eyes were windows to the soul was absolutley right. The honesty in his gaze was too pure to be made up. You couldn't fake something like that.  
No. These guys were not monsters.  
You nodded at him and started breathing in and out at the pace he set, until finally you were calm enough to let air flow inside you normally again. Well, as normally as you could in your situation at least.  
He gave you a proud smile that you weren't sure was a result of you calming down, or him succeeding in calming down you down.  
"Let's try this again. I'm Dean Winchester, and this -" He pointed over to the other man. "Is my brother Sam. What is your name?"  
The brothers were giving you encouraging looks. You took a deep breath again.

"M-my.. my name is (Y\N)."  
"That's a very pretty name, (Y\N)."  
Sam said gently, still worried you'd break into another sobbing fit.  
Dean reached out a hand towards you. Slowly. Very slowly, since he didn't want to alarm you. And it worked. You hesitantly reached your own hand forward in respond.  
You were still too far from him though, so you started crawling towards him on your stomach.  
Suddenly your eyes snapped to your mom again. It was easier when you were worried about your life. You were distracted from her. From the way her body tangled up in such an unnatural position, the way blood was flowing out of her sliced throat, out of her mouth -  
"(Y\N)! Listen to me! Keep your eyes on me! Can you do that for me?"  
Your eyes snapped back to Dean. You shook your head.

"I-I can't!"  
You stopped crawling all together and just layed down on your stomach, shaking too hard to do anything else. It was all too much.  
Your mom was still in your view and you looked down to block the image out, only to find out that you have been laying in a pool of her blood. You let out a frightened yell as you jumped up to get away, but only managed to get your head hurt on the ceiling of the bed.  
You were trapped.  
You couldn't get away.  
You felt like you were drowning - drowning in blood and you couldn't breath. You tried - you really did, but the effort made your heart clench and unclench in your chest until it hurt so much you weren't sure you could take it anymore.

" (Y\N)! Son of a- Sam, help me move the bed!"  
You didn't look up to see what the brothers were doing. You couldn't. You locked your hands on top of your head and rocketed yourself up and down, up and down, wishing that it would all just be over already.  
Big hands came out of nowhere to hold your shoulders, and you started batting your own at the air around you frantically.  
You heard a hiss of pain as it connected with something solid.  
"(Y\N)! Listen to me! It's ok! You're ok!"  
Sam's voice broke through your panic and you managed to look up to see Dean taking his leather jacket off and throwing it over to Sam, who wasted no time in laying it over your shoulders and tightening it around your bloodied clothes.

"We need to take her somewhere else. She won't be able to calm down here."  
They were right. No matter where you looked the red was there and it was covering up everything.  
"I'm gonna pick you up now, alright?"  
You nodded and let Sam wrap his hands under you as he hoisted you up into his arms.  
He carried you out the door and through the house, Dean walking quietly a few steps behind. When you got to the living room and remembered exactly what happened there only a few hours before, you pushed your head into Sam's chest. You didn't want to relive the panic that went through you when you ran away from 'uncle Ben' up the stairs.  
Sam picked up his pace when he noticed your actions.

You didn't know how long the three of you had been walking through the house, but it felt like forever. They were probably looking for a place that hadn't turned into a bloodbath.  
An image of your grandma laying covered in blood in the kitchen flushed in your head, followed by your grandpa in the living room - mom in the bedroom -  
You sobbed quietly against Sam's chest and tried to think of something else - anything else than the state of the house.  
You heard a door opening.

Finally, Sam set you down, or was about to when you clinged to him with all your strength. You weren't brave enough to look around yet.   
Who's dead body would greet you next? No. You couldn't let go of Sam. He was blocking out everything and you were just fine with staring into the material of his shirt for all eternity.  
"Shh (Y\N), It's ok to look now. We're in the laundry room."  
Sam's hands caressed your arms up and down in a soothing manner. Your hands slowly detached themselves away from him, but your eyes still remained closed shut.  
"Hey, look at me kiddo. Not even at the room if you don't want to. Just focus on me and Sam."  
Dean's soft voice was close to a whisper, and for some reason it relaxed you much more than you thought it would. It was weird. He was a stranger, after all.  
You opened your eyes halfway through, sighing in relief when all you could see was a plaid shirt. You felt courageous and opened them completely.

"Brave girl."  
Dean's proud smile was reassuring. Sam looked you up and down, letting his eyes slow and linger over every stain that covered the smiling teddy bears on your pajamas. His eyebrows furrowed in worry. You already guessed what he was gonna ask you next, and you could see how hard he was struggling to come up with the words.  
"(Y\N).."  
He started, but couldn't bring himself to finish, so you made it easier for him.  
"No."  
You said.  
"Are you sure?"  
You nodded, but he still didn't look convinced. Neither did Dean, who was now leaning down to your hight.  
"Sometimes when your body's focus is keeping you alive, it forgets to let you know that you're hurt.."  
Dean was trying so hard to use the right words. The right tone. He probably realized that the threat of you breaking down again was still out there.

You could see that the whole situation was very unusual to him. Not the barging into someone's house to fight monsters part, oddly enough. Judging from the gun he was trying to hide from you since the moment he found you crying under the bed, he came prepared. Prepared and experience. You just didn't think he had babysitting in the job description, if you could even call it a job. More like a bad dream. Why would anyone in their right mind choose to put themselves in these situations?

Dean was still looking at you with concern on his slightly roughed up face. Whatever it is they called what they are doing, it came with a price. Now that you weren't as panicked, you could see various bruises and cuts covering their heads and bodies. No wonder they were doubtful you weren't hurt.  
"It didn't get me."  
You said before the brothers could worry too much.

Sam gave you a long, searching look. Holding you in place with his eyes until you felt like you were laugadge being scanned for illegal drugs at an airport.   
Finally, after what seemed like forever, he nodded. The worry left their eyes, but now you saw there an emotion you didn't expect to find - guilt. You didn't have the time to think about it however, since Sam brought up something more important than that.  
"Do you have anyone you could stay with until we.. uh, figure everything out? relatives, family friends maybe?"

He was worried about asking the wrong questions. Maybe he didn't realize that aunt Grace, Uncle Ben, your grandparents and your mom were all the family you have - had left.  
Legally you had your father too, but ever since your mom divorced him you were barley ever in contact. Even if you were, you would never forgive him for what he did to your mom.

What were you gonna do? Where were you gonna go? Where do kids in your situation go? Do they live on the street? Do they stay at an orphanage?  
You started to cry again before you could stop yourself.  
Mommy!  
You needed your mom!  
"Wha - (Y\N)! Shh, It's ok! We are not going to leave you alone. We'll stay with you until we find a solution to all of this."  
Sam took a step towards you and that was all it took for you to launch yourself at him and bury your face in his chest again. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close, cradling the back of your head.  
Your eyes were so puffy that you started to feel like if you closed them one more time, they might not open again. The rest of you wanted to go with that plan, but unfortunately, your body was still too aware.  
You tried to listen to the heart beating next to your ear. To focus on the feeling of the jacket being tightened around your shoulders. You tried to find your happy place, even though there was nothing happy about where you were.

"How about we get you out of here, huh?"  
You pulled back a little to look at Dean.  
"Where?"  
And would that really be safe? Sure - you were relieved that they weren't monsters, but they were still strangers. Your mom would probably agree with that line of thought.  
Well, that was what your brain was telling you, and normally you would do what you logically thought was right, but right now you were alone. Alone in a house you wanted to leave and never set your feet back in ever again.   
To be honest, right now you didn't care who they were as long as they gave you a place to stay.

"We're staying at a motel a few blocks from here. We planned to move on after we ki -"  
Sam gave dean a sharp look. "After we finished our... business, but I guess we could stay a while longer." You pushed aside any remaining doubts you had and nodded at them.

"Well, better get going then."  
______________________________________________________________________________

You woke up when you felt the ground moving underneath you and almost started panicking, until you remembered you were in the brothers car. Music was playing softly in the background, although by the sound of it, it really wasn't the type to be played on such low volume. You guessed that they didn't want to risk waking you up. You probably weren't out for very long though - maybe 10 minutes, since you could see the local Pizza Hut out the window.  
As if on cue, your stomach started rumbling. Thinking about it now, you didn't eat since the morning. You didn't have a chance to before everything went nuts. It was hard for you to even think of it as part of today.  
You quickly shook your thoughts away.

"We're getting pizza?"  
Sam looked over his shoulder and gave you a smile.  
"Yeah. We're pretty hungry, figured you'd be too. "  
You nodded eagerly, and he chuckled.  
"You sure you don't wanna go back to sleep though? The pizza could wait, you know."

No. not it couldn't. You were starving.  
"Um, I think I'd rather have it now, if it's ok."  
"We could go to the motel instead, I could cook us some dinner? Something healthier maybe?"  
You tried not to make your displeasure at Sam's suggestion show on your face, but Dean caught your tiny frown in the mirror anyways. He hid his laughter behind a smile.

"No one wants your rabbit food Sam. Let the girl eat what she wants! Have you ever heard of a kid who prefferes saled over pizza?"  
Saved. You were starting to like that Dean guy.  
"No, but I do know a grown ass man who prefferes fast food over anything that could be even remotely good for his body."  
You almost laughed at that. From what you've gathered, in their line of work eating healthy was the least of their concerns. The look Dean gave Sam told you the two of you were in agreement on that.  
Sam let out a sigh in defeat.

"Pizza it is."  
__________

The three of you sat down next to a table at the motel. Sam, who refused to eat his share of pizza and rebiliously made himself a saled, was sitting to your right, and Dean, who had just finished taking his last bite of pizza was now rubbing his belly in satisfaction. You stuffed a second slice into your mouth.  
"Good stuff huh?"

You looked up at Dean. You weren't sure how you were supposed to treat the whole situation, or the brothers for that matter. It was all so weird, and so sudden. It almost felt like you were in some sort of a fucked up dream with no option to wake up. You were glad that at least you didn't have to experience it alone, but it was still just too strange to comprehend.  
When Dean didn't get his answer he furrowed his eyebrows in concern.

"I guess it would be stupid to ask you if you're ok.."  
He said awkwardly. Sam looked up from his saled.  
"Want to call it a day? You can take one of the beds and Dean can take the sofa."  
You knew you wouldn't be able to sleep. You were still very much aware, almost as if your body had been struck by lightning.

"I... can't."  
You looked at the table, suddenly paying a lot of attention to all the little lines and swirls on the wooden surface.  
They seemed to understand that because neither pressed any further. It made you wonder if they experienced similar situations before as well.  
"Alright. Well, you'll have to fall sleep eventually. If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask."  
You nodded.  
The brothers traded worried looks.  
"I mean it (Y\N). Even if we're asleep."  
You nodded again, almost a little to fast, but they didn't seem convinced.  
"Would it be better if one of us stayed awake until you fell asleep?"  
Sam offered.   
Oh yes it would! You wouldn't have to feel so incredibly alone. You couldn't say why, but their presence, even unfamiliar and strange made you feel a little safer.  
But you couldn't ask that of them, could you? They rescued you from the horror show that was going down at your house. They killed the monsters that murdered your family. They gave you food and and a place to stay. Now they were offering this too?

What would your father say if he heard you say yes to that?  
Why were you even thinking about the douche at a time like this? He didn't care about you, or your mom. He probably wouldn't even go to her funeral.  
But his logic made sense to you at the moment. Ask these nice people for help when you knew you didn't deserve it?  
If your mom hadn't hid you under the bed at the cost of her own life, then maybe there would be one less family member to mourn.  
No. You couldn't ask. Besides, you weren't usually one to get scared that easily. Under normal circumstances at least. Still.  
You gathered up all the courage you had left in you and managed a little tini tiny smile.  
"I'll be ok. I can at least fall asleep on my own. I'm not 10 years old you know!"  
They both looked at you, completely unimpressed.  
"Not 10 years old huh? Then what, 11? 12?"  
"14!"  
you announced proudly. Dean burst out laughing. Sam smacked him across the head, and then cleared his throat.

"Regardless of how old you are (Y\N), this type of... event, would weigh down on anyone. It's not selfish to ask for help."  
Sam caught your eyes as he was speaking, wanting to get through to you before you could once again slip into your thoughts.  
You wondered why they cared so much. You had only just met, but they seemed determined to help you for some reason.  
You had to repay them somehow.

"It's fine. I promise to wake you up if I need anything."  
Dean eyed you for a couple of long seconds, before he took hold of his brother's shoulder and pulled him away from the table. Sam gave him a puzzled look.  
"She says it's fine. Let the little lady make her own decisions."  
______________________________________________________________________________

Dean's POV  
It must have been around 4:00 O'clock already. Of course I didn't go to sleep. (Y\N) hasn't exactly sold me the idea that she won't start having panic attacks in the middle of the night. She was just acting brave. I had the feeling that this was the only thing keeping her together at the moment.  
Fake it till' you make it, I guess.

But that solution wont last for long. I'm pretty sure she knows that too - It was just a distraction for now.  
I planted both my hands on my forehead. It felt like my brain was trying to break it's way out of my skull. Migraines were not new to me, but this particular one didn't seem like it was going away anytime soon. Maybe that was a good thing. I needed a reminder. I screwed up today.

Badly.

Too many details I missed. Too many important clues I ignored...  
And now an innocent little girl was paying the price.  
If only we made it there sooner, just by a couple of minutes, we could have prevented all of this.  
It's supposed to be our fucking job, We were supposed to save these people!   
It's our responsibility.  
Why do I always keep failing the ones I'm supposed to protect?  
She could still have her family. A home. She lost everything in just one night. I don't think she even completely understands that yet. How could she, really?

I listened to the quiet tapping of her small feet across the room as she walked from one side to the other again and again.  
She's only 14 years old, for god's sake!  
This just isn't right!

Her close to a whisper voice snapped me out of my thoughts. At first I thought she was trying to get mine or Sam's attention and almost started getting up, when I realized she was singing.   
"Just c-close your eyes, the sun is going down."  
"You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now."

My heart nearly broke.  
"C-come morning light, you and I'll be safe,"  
She took a little step towards the back of the sofa and slid down. Her singing was shaky, but soft.  
Her voice dragged out, as if she was finally on the verge of falling asleep.  
"And sound."

She finished so quietly that I wouldn't have heard her if she was more than two steps away from me. I straightned up and looked down to where she was laying.   
Her hair tangled up on and around her face and her eyes were closed gently. Her mouth was left a tad bit open and she breathed eavenly for the first time since we found her.   
I never thought there would come a time when I would like another Taylor Swift song after that very special case of 'Shake It Off', but to my defense, I just like (Y\N)'s version of it.  
It had meaning.   
She would be alright.   
She would be safe and sound - because I would never let anything or anyone hurt her.  
______________________________________________________________________________

Sam's POV  
We were very careful not to wake (Y\N) up. She slept well into the afternoon, but from what Dean told me, she didn't fall asleep until 4:00 O'clock at night.  
We made sure to change her out of her bloody pajamas before she would have a chance to wake up and go into a full blown panic attack again.

She was a strange kid. Maybe it was just because of the horrible situation she was in, or maybe because she seemed to be handling it too politely and too quietly, but something felt.. off.  
No kid should feel guilty asking for help. Kids are selfish - that is their nature, nothing wrong with that. But (Y\N) didn't believe she was the center of the world like normal kids. In fact, it seemed to me like she was scared of even the mere thought of it.

I looked at the clothing bags in my hands. She had to have something decent to wear, so I volunteered to go shopping. It wasn't really Dean's area. Not that it was mine either, but I'd like to think I know my way around the wardrobe better than someone who wears the same old jacket all year round.  
I stopped by the grocery store next. We can't have her living on fast food if she's gonna stick around.

As I waited to get my change back I picked up the newspaper and threw it in with everything else. The picture on the front page caught my eye, but It was the title that really made shivers go down my spine.


	2. Babysitting and parties! Oh no..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Er... Damn it I suck at summaries! You'll see..

You woke up to the sound of a door opening and closing. The sound of plastic bags being put down on the ground.  
They were comforting sounds. Homey sounds.  
But then you remembered where you were and yesterday's events started weighing down on your shoulders, pressing you hard into the motel bed.  
You didn't want to get up, but didn't want to stay where you where especially either. You felt like you were floating somewhere in between pain and emptiness and it was driving you insane. Luckily for you, Dean noticed you woke up and filled that emptiness with his loud presence until you felt like you were stable again.

"What are we having? I'm starving!"  
Dean whined at Sam who was now unpacking grocery bags on the table.  
"Whatever I'm making."  
Sam retorted dryly. He didn't seem to be in a very playful mood this morning, although maybe you just didn't know the guy well enough yet.  
Dean threw a long look at Sam's back. 

There wasn't much said between the three of you as Sam cooked. It seemed that the tall man's unusual behaviour raised Dean's suspiciouns that something was up. What exactly was up, you didn't know, but you decided not to worry about it too much.  
These guys were hunting monsters after all. If it was always peaceful that would be weird, right? Strange the way your concept of the word 'weird' changed overnight.  
"Food's ready!"  
Sam announced. You took a seat in front of Dean as Sam put plates on the table.  
"What is this crap?"  
Dean was staring at the green stuff on his plate defensively, as if it was poisoned or something. It didn't look very appetizing to you either to be honest, but you faked a smile for Sam.  
"Roasted cauliflower and brussels sprouts."  
You had to hold down a laugh when Dean dropped his fork.

"I'm not eating flowers Sam."  
"It's not actually flowers Dean."  
"Yeah, well that's not what the name suggests."  
Sam shot his brother a sharp look. You bravely took a spoonful into your mouth. It didn't taste great, but it wasn't as awful as you expected it to be either.  
"Because I knew you were such a baby, I also baked you some fries."  
Another plate was placed on the table and Dean turned to glare at Sam.  
"Baked me some fries? baked? You don't bake fries, you fry them!"  
You eagerly dug into the 'fries'. You loved potatoes.  
"It's exactly the same just without the ridiculous amount of oil in it."

When Sam saw you eating more of his fries he gave you an approving smile.  
"At least someone here can appreciate good cooking."  
"She's just being polite."  
Sam ignored the remark as he turned to get his cup of coffee off the counter.  
Dean huffed. Your eyes met his for a second and he gave you a smirk before he pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket, scribbled something on it, and then held it up for you to see.

'There's a stash of chocolate bars under the sink'  
You giggled behind the palm of your hand. Dean was an awesome dude, you decided.  
"So I got you some new clothes, (Y\N). You can change out of that old shirt you're wearing."  
Old shirt? You looked down and found that you weren't wearing your pajamas anymore. One of them must of changed you out of them while you were sleeping. You were wearing an oversized t- shirt that went half way to your ankles. And no pants. You turned red.  
Well, at least you could change out of it soon. And take a bath. You really needed a bath.  
"Thanks, that's very nice of you."  
You told sam politely, before quickly downing the rest of your water and hoping that your tangled hair hid the color of your cheeks.  
"Don't mention it."

It was quiet as you finished your food.  
Sam glanced at Dean, communicating to him something you couldn't understand. You were starting to realize the brothers had some sort of a secret language going on.  
Oh well, at school you were very good at French. What's learning Winchester gonna be like?  
Dean cleared his throat awkwardly.  
"Hey how about you go try them on, huh?"  
Right. New clothes. You looked back and forth between the two of them.  
"Ok."  
______________________________________________________________________________  
You left the bathroom in your new baby blue tank top and grey leggings after taking a refreshing bath. You twisted your hair up inside of a towel and took a few steps forward, only to notice that the room was empty. Sam and Dean were nowhere in sight.  
They didn't seem to be the kind of people to leave without letting you know, and realizing that immediately put you on edge. What if something happened?  
Translate

What if the monsters were back?  
You looked around the room once more, only this time scanning it in detail. Dean's leather jacket was thrown over a chair, and Sam's suitcase was on the bed, as well as all of the rest of their stuff.  
What could possibly make them leave in such a hurry that they wouldn't have the time to grab their stuff, or you for that matter?  
You slowly tip toed to the other side of the room, trying to be quiet. You remembered Dean hiding a gun under his pillow when he thought you were not looking, so making your way over to his bed, you quickly snatched it. No idea how it worked, but hopefully the monsters wouldn't notice that. Stepping next to the door, you took a deep breath. It's now or never.  
You lightly grabbed the door handle and twisted.  
hesitantly peeking through the small crack you created, you could see Dean's Impala still parked outside.  
Suddenly you could hear hushed arguing coming from somewhere up ahead to your right. You let out a huge sigh of relief when you recognized the brothers voices. You almost started walking their way when a few words caught your attention.

"The pattern is way too similar Dean, it has to be them!"  
Sam's voice came out sounding extremely on edge, and so did Dean's when he answered.  
"There is no way any of them survived, and even if one of them did, there is no way they'd be stupid enough to be this careless. You said front page right? Tell me that doesn't sound crazy to you!"  
You weren't usually one to eavesdrop, but something about the intensity in which they said things gave you a feeling of dread.  
"We've been dealing with crazy all our lives. You really think it's any different this time?"  
There was a long pause of silence. Finally dean let out an exhausted sigh.  
"No, you're right. I just really wish it was nothing for a change."

Foot steps started retreating towards the door, and you closed it as quietly as you could. The gun! What were you gonna do with the gun?! You were about to make a run for the bathroom, but the door already started to open, so you opted for hiding it behind your back and hoping for the best.  
Two pairs of eyes narrowed at you suspiciously. It didn't seem like they were gonna take action though. The only thing they did was look at you. And look at you. And make you uncomfortable.  
"(Y\N).. Is that my pistol behind your back?"  
"No sir."  
You squeaked that out way too quickly, and Dean huffed. Sir?

"I'm not angry, I just want to know why you felt like you needed to be armed."  
His frown lines looked tighter than usual, and a wrinkle appeared between his eyebrows. All of that told you a different story. You were pretty sure he just didn't want you to panic, or maybe put you on high alert?  
"I got out of the shower and you two weren't there. I thought that maybe something happened."  
Sam gave his brother an annoyed look.  
"Don't look at me, I didn't tell her where it was!"

Both their eyes widened and snapped to you again. You hated being the center of attention. Especially their center of attention. Especially right now. You couldn't really put a finger on it, but something in them changed. Like a switch. You leaned your weight from leg to leg, trying to ease the uneasy feeling that took over you.  
"How did you know where it was, and how did you even know he had a gun?"  
You could see the wheels in their heads turning. You noticed Sam's hand slowly reaching backwards, and Dean fingering his left back pocket. Oh- oh shit!  
"I'm not a monster! I'm not one of them!"  
You turned to Dean quickly. Something told you that to survive in their profession, they needed to be good at on the spot thinking and making fast decisions, and you didn't want to learn what would happen to you if they made the wrong one.

"I just saw you sneaking it in under your pillow when you thought I was busy looking for those chocolate bars you told me about!"  
Sam sighed in relief, before his eyes snapped away from you to glare at Dean, something you've come to suspect was one of his greatest enjoyments in their strange, fucked up life.  
"I swear, If you give me that look one more time your face is gonna get stuck that way."  
Sam only glared harder. "Look, just lay off. It's not like your bitch face needs any more polishing."  
Their staring contest ensued, and you wondered how many curses they were currently throwing at each other in Winchester.  
"Jerk."  
Sam mouthed at Dean.  
There's one you knew!

Out of nowhere the older man took out a phone and pointed it at your face, as if preparing to take a picture or a video. Your eyes caught Dean's in confusion. You were even more confused when he simply sighed in relief and retrived it back into his pocket.  
"She's not a shapeshifter, just a sneaky kid."  
Sam let out a dry laugh.  
"Thank god for that, I know it might not look like it but,"  
He walked over to you and kneeled down so you were almost face to face with him. Almost - the man was a giant!  
"Stabbing little girls in the heart isn't one of my hobbies."

For how careful he was being with you when they just found you, he sure was blunt now. Maybe the fact that you were willing to fire a gun if it came to it made him think a bit more highly of you. At least that was what you hoped for.  
Sam reached his big hand behind your head and untangled your wet hair from the towel. You completely forgot you even had it on.  
"Here, let me help you dry it off."  
You looked up at him in wonder. What was it with these guys? Why were they being so nice to you? They only just met you...  
Dean rolled his eyes at Sam, but the man was too preoccupied with the task he set for himself to notice.  
"Braid her hair afterwards too why don't you."  
Sam didn't react. Apparently drying off a girl's hair was too girly for Dean to handle. Or maybe it was just too motherly. You lowered your head.  
Mom.  
You shut your eyes tightly and tried to imagine that it was her who was running gentle fingers through your hair, wiping off a tear you didn't notice had slid down your cheek.  
A few more minutes passed and you completely let that image of her take over. settling back into the warmth of the towel. Taking big even breaths. Losing yourself in that illusion. It was almost... Peaceful.  
______________________________________________________________________________

Sam's POV  
(Y\N) fell asleep while I was drying her hair, and I couldn't be more relieved. She needed some sleep, I was just hoping it wouldn't be nightmare induced.  
She was now laying comfortably on the bed at the corner of the room, snoring out loud, if you would believe it. It made Dean laugh.  
Quietly, of course.  
He was very cautious with her. He was walking around the room doing whatever and trying to look indifferent, but every once in a while I would catch him throwing a worried glance her way.  
We both felt guilty we couldn't save her family in time, but Dean always took cases like this harder. I had a feeling that messing up this time went straight into his 'Reasons the world would be better off without me' list.

Well, in order to not mess up anymore, we needed to discuss our strategy.  
"You know we can't leave things as they are, right?"  
Dean stopped mid step and this time didn't try to hide his long worried look at (Y\N). His mouth stayed shut.  
"We have to make a move before they do. We can't risk putting her in danger if they decide to stop by to say hey."  
I continued, my voice barley above a whisper. Dean sighed, but nodded.  
"What then? There are too many of them for one of us to stay behind and babysit! "  
His voice started reaching dangerous levels.  
"And what do we even tell her? She's already been through enough!"

My eyes snapped to (Y\N) in panic, and I prayed she was a deep sleeper. Luckily, she just turned over and kept snoring. Dean really didn't know to be quiet when he was frustrated, and it seemed like he realized his mistake too, because guilt and a little bit of self hatred slipped into his eyes.  
"We don't have to tell her anything specific."  
I hurried, in case Dean felt like beating himself up more than he already was. At this point, I had to keep him focused for all three of us. Him and I were a duo, and one functioning right without the other didn't happen very often. He had to be sharp when we went in there, and the both of us had to come back alive for (Y\N).  
I really didn't know what we were going to do where she was concurned. We sure as hell weren't gonna throw her out, but if she did stay with us - for how long?  
It's not that I didn't like the girl, in fact I had taken quite a liking to her, it's just that driving from state to state fighting monsters wasn't exactly safe for a kid, or anyone for that matter.  
Dean's eyes met mine in mutual understanding, although I found myself surprised at the amount pain that flashed across his face when he realized we would have to part with (Y\N) sooner rather than later.  
An idea popped into my head.

"What if we call Cas? He might be able to do something."  
Dean looked at me in confusion.  
"Dude's too busy to babysit, and did you forget the last time he tried to play father figure with Claire? I'm pretty sure she spent the whole day and a half running away from him."  
"That's not what I meant. What if he could work his mojo and.. you know, erase her memories of us or something?"  
Dean shot me the most obvious 'Are you fucking kidding me' look I have ever seen.  
"No."  
was all he replied with, so I gave up for now. It was obvious he didn't want to think that far ahead, so I moved on to the next important task - finding someone who was capable enough to look after her when we were gone. We weren't gonna take any chances here.  
"How about we call up Charlie? She's been hunting for quite a while now. In case anything happened, I'm pretty sure she could take care of it."  
Dean furrowed his eyebrows in thought. I knew he had a soft spot for her, so putting her in the line of danger - any kind of danger, was not something he especially liked. Often he was so immersed in trying to protect everyone, that he forgot that many of them could protect themselves just fine.  
"You think this is any different than the hunts she usually takes on? She'll be fine. Besides, there is only a very small chance of them actually coming directly at (Y\N)."  
I reminded him. Finally, after thinking about it some more, he tugged his phone out of his pocket and dialed the red headed hacker girl's number.  
______________________________________________________________________________

"(Y\N), this is Charlie, she's going to be looking after you for the next couple of hours."  
You looked up at the girl who stood beside Dean. She gave you an awkward hand wave and an unsure smile. You didn't know what to make of her, or the news that you were going to be left alone with her while the boys would be out doing... what was it again? 'Taking care of important business'?  
Either way, you replied to her with an unsure smile of your own. You didn't want to seem rude. Sam smiled at the exchange.  
"Um, when will you be back, if you don't mind me asking?"  
You asked politely, but there was a serious internal war going on inside your head that you tried to not let show. Dean noticed anyways, damn him. Apparently, he could read people very easily.

"We don't know exactly, but I promise you, by the time you wake up tomorrow we'll be back to eat breakfast together."  
That calmed you down a bit, and you nodded at him.  
"Right, well we better get going. I would say don't cause Charlie any unnecessary trouble, but I honestly don't think you're capable of that."  
Dean told you with a frown. A frown? Did he want you to cause trouble?  
Before you could think about it too much, Sam came over to ruffle your hair and mutter "In bed before 10." with a serious expression on his face.  
And then the two brothers walked out the door and left you with your new babysitter.  
Who needs a babysitter at 14 anyways?  
______________________________________________________________________________

In only two days, you've gone from losing your mom, to getting picked up by two guys, to having them get you a babysitter while they were gone.  
You were surprised you didn't break down again. You were so conflicted. On the one hand, it was painful to turn around and not see your mom anywhere, but on the other hand, it didn't feel like she was really gone. I mean, you only just saw her yesterday.  
Charlie put two hot cups of instant soup on the table and took a seat in front of you. You quickly picked up your spoon. You missed lunch today because you were sleeping, so you were pretty hungry.  
"(Y\N), right?"  
You nodded. If you had to use two words to describe Charlie, they would be awkward and sweet. At least from what you've seen of her so far.  
"Do you have any movies, or books you especially like?"

This was not a question you expected her to ask. You expected 'How did you meet Sam and Dean' or 'Why are you not with a relative' or something similar, but the red head skipped right past that, and you were grateful for that.  
"I like Harry Potter."  
Charlie's face lit up. Appearntly she was a fan too.  
It was kind of nerve wrecking at first, but after an hour of conversation she got you to open up. You argued with her who the most badass character in the series was, why Harry wasn't a wimp, that Emma Watson only got hot after the sixth movie and not the fith, and then moved on to Lord Of The Rings. You had a very similar taste in movies, and for a while it didn't seem like the conversation was ever going to end.  
By the time it was getting close to your bedtime, you learned that besides being awkward and sweet, Charlie was also passionet, funny and very, very smart.

To sum it up - you liked her. She was so down to earth, you felt like you could ask her anything.  
And there was, in fact, a question that was sitting at the back of your head all this time.  
"Do you think they will be okay?"  
You were distracted from the brothers when you were gushing over fictional characters with your new found friend, but the later it got you would catch her glancing at her phone, as if expecting it to ring any minute. You had a good guess who she was expecting a call from.  
Charlie gave you a reassuring smile that seemed like was more for herself then it was for you.  
"They're big boys, they can take care of themselves!"  
It didn't seem like she was sure about that. You gave her a questioning look, trying to mimick the way Sam looked at you when he thought you were hiding injuries. She chuckled uncomfortably.  
"Um.. let's just get you to bed, ok?"  
______________________________________________________________________________

The street was quiet, so quiet you couldn't even hear cars making their way down the road, because there was no road. Sam tracked the filthy creatures to an old, abandoned warehouse near a secluded sewage system that seemed to have popped out in the middle of nowhere. The plan was to take down the two shifters guarding it and slip inside as quietly as possible.  
They both knew the had to get them one by one. No matter how much training John had put them through when they were kids, strength is strength, and no doubt they wouldn't choose to wear a weakling as their weapon.  
When Dean went on his first shifter case he asked his dad why none of them was smart enough to transform into Chuck Norris. The explanation he got was so boring and so long that it made him stop asking 'Stupid questions', as John used to call them.  
Both Winchesters made their way quietly towards the entrance, the older one leading the younger behind. They were now close enough to take a closer look at the monsters.  
One of them for some odd reason decided to wear a fat, wrinkly police man, while the other, obviously the smarter one, wore a blond, hunky dude that screamed testosterone, and, Dean noticed with a hand covering his nose - sweat.

"Bleah."  
"Shhh!"  
Sam glared at his brother. He pointed to the fat man and then to himself. His kill.  
"Knew you had a thing for men in uniforms."  
Dean apparently really liked pushing his luck. Forget the shifters, the way this was going he was gonna be outed by the moose before they even had the chance to attack the Dittos. (Huh! Pokemon references).  
Sam slowly sneaked his way over behind a rock closer to the police man, not having the energy to bicker at the moment. He looked over to Dean, who took the other side close to the smelly hunk. With one hand still covering his nose, he signaled 'Go!', and the two leaped out from behind their hiding spots.  
The shifters barely had the time to scream before each had a knife in their hearts.  
"Aww, did you really have to break his heart so quickly? You didn't even go on your first date yet!"  
With no one around in hearing distance, Sam allowed himself to let out a frustrated sigh.

"You're insufferable."  
__________________________________________________________________________________

(Y\N) POV  
Maybe it was just a bad feeling. Maybe it was just your gut telling you bed night stories that accidently did the opposite of putting you to sleep, but something felt wrong.  
Charlie, who thought that by now you were asleep, finally let her worry show. Her fingers tapped her jeans to the tik tok of the clock. midnight.  
Every once in a while she would get up and walk around the motel room, only to sit back down again.  
This time, she made her way over to the bathroom, closing the door softly behind her.  
For some odd reason, as soon as she was out of your eyesight that deep seated feeling started to spread from your gut to the rest of your body. You almost, almost felt the urge to slip under the bed. You wondered why.  
Yes, the trees outside cast a dark scary shadow on the wall. Yes, you didn't know how to use that pistol under Dean's pillow. But surely, Charlie could?  
__________________________________________________________________________________

"Who's there?"  
Asked a deep, harsh voice. When there was no answer, the sound of boots splashing around in the dirty sewage water could be heard. Each step a bit closer than the last.  
"Ah fuck it."  
Dean took off running towards the now nearing shifter before Sam could stop him.  
The man (or woman? do they even have a gender?) stopped walking and took out a rusty knife.  
"How did you get in here?"  
He sounded so surprised. Dean smirked.

"Where is your leader, shit face?"  
From behind a curve in the tunnel popped out another shifter, he too wielding a knife. Another one. Great.  
"I guess it's a party."  
"Someone mentioned a party?"  
Another fucking shifter came into view. This one though.. He was different from the others. The two others made way for him to pass, arranging themselves like a mini army ready for the command of their general.

"I'm hurt! You planning on starting the party without the star?"  
__________________________________________________________________________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Umm.. so if I made any mistakes with basic stuff about the shapeshifters, I just want you to know that I was probably being too lazy to research. I kinda wrote it from what I remembered in the show.  
> I was really surprised that a lot of people like this fic, and it really made my day! You guys are awesome!
> 
> So something completely random - I wanted to draw a scene from this chapter, so of course I needed to get my references, like the way Dean's shirt looks for example. How nice the second next search after Dean Winchester is Dean Winchester... shirtless.  
> God damn it Pinterest! The one time I don't wanna see the guy naked!


	3. Did you really pick up the kid without knowing who she was?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just the begining of the real plot here guys, so don't panic! I'm sorry this one came out a bit shorter than I intended it to be, but I promise to make up for it in the next one!

(Y\N) POV  
Charlie hasn't left the bathroom in at least 10 minutes, and you didn't hear any water flowing, or the toilet being flushed. The dark room was sent into silence, and it made every breath, every tug on your blanket stand out that much more. So you froze in place.  
You knew you should probably just ask Charlie what's the hold up, but you couldn't gather up enough courage.  
You hoped Sam and Dean would be back already. They said they'd be here before breakfast, but you wished they could hurry it up a little. You debate with yourself if you should just stay awake until morning. You didn't think you were capable of falling asleep anyways after that relaxing nap on the sofa. With embarrassment you realized that you had probably fallen asleep leaning on Sam.

Suddenly you heard a noise from the bathroom's direction. Despite your frozen state, you shot up like a cat sensing a dog nearby.  
It was quiet for another two minutes, before the distinct sound of something being dragged across the floor made you shiver. ______________________________________________________________________________

Dean looked at the shapeshifter in front of him. He was short, bulky, and wore a pink graphic tee. With the words 'Bitch I'm Fabulous' stretched across it. With a little unicorn on the side. And a rainbow. What the actual fuck.  
"Flashy."  
Sam commented from behind him sarcastically.  
Again, the elder Winchester scanned the shifter's outfit.

"Meh. The unicorn is a nice touch."  
Words he never thought he'd say before. Sam gave him a roll of his eyes, suddenly glad he was the one doing the shopping for (Y/N).  
"Why thank you. It's a shame I can't see what your red headed friend would choose to wear on this wonderful evening."

Dean's eyes widened, his fists clenching at his sides. Sam had a similar reaction.  
"What the hell do you mean by that?"  
His voice was low and quiet, obviously holding himself back from killing the guy before he had a chance to reply.  
The shifter's smile only grew on his face. There was something sick about the way his lips stretched apart to show slightly yellowing, glimmering teeth.______________________________________________________________________________

(Y/N) POV  
*Thud*  
Something was picked up and thrown for the second time in the last couple of minutes. And again dragged across the floor. Whatever it was that was going on in the bathroom, it was done as quietly as possible. As if not to wake you up.  
You knew by now that something was definitely wrong, but you didn't know what to do. You had no phone with you, Charlie had hers in her left pocket, but for obvious reasons you couldn't get to it. Even if you could, who would you call? You didn't know Sam or Dean's number, not to mention they probably wouldn't even pick up. No family to call either.  
your mind screamed at you to run to the door, but your body was to afraid to take that risk. Right now every little shadow on the walls looked like a possible threat. Even your own. You couldn't convince yourself otherwise no matter how many times you waved your hands around only to watch the shadows do the same.  
Finally, after what seemed like forever, the noise stopped. You cast your eyes almost unwillingly over to the door. The silence was deafening. You stopped your breath.

*Splash!*  
Blood and human skin flowed in from the small crack under the door.  
______________________________________________________________________________

"Why all that anger in your eyes? I just wanted to make sure we had a little bit of privacy before we sat down to discuss our little deal."  
The two other shifters now joined their leader with wide, cocky smirks of their own. The type that made Dean want to smack it off their faces by spontaneously crushing them into the filthy sweage water. Sam was right behind him on that. They gave off air that they know something that he didn't. Which unfortunately was 100% true.  
"What deal? And what have you done to Charlie?"  
And (Y\N), but Dean didn't want to think about that. Charlie was strong and cunning, and he still had trust in her that even if she got hurt, she didn't get herself killed. That he didn't get her killed.  
As for (Y/N), the kid was defenseless in a situation like this. She couldn't protect herself, and he couldn't bear the thought of putting her in danger, so he pushed those thoughts away. For now.

"Well, I guess the famous Winchester brothers aren't as smart as the rumors say. Did you really pick up the kid without knowing who she was?"  
Sam and Dean exchanged a puzzled look. The mini army of shifters grew as more of them took their places behind their leader. Apparently no one wanting to miss out on whatever the hell this was.  
"You have got to be kidding me. You really don't know?"  
The douche bag was now laughing hysterically, as if he just heard the funniest joke in the world. Dean barely kept himself from drowning the guy in this literal shit hole they were in.  
"How about you let me in on this little joke of yours before I lose my patience, huh? Ain't exactly funny if you're the only one who gets it."  
An overly eager shifter took a step forward, an excited, dumb look on his face.

"You don't scare Roy! He's the strongest Shifter in existence! Well, besides our lord (Y\L\N), but I don't think he's -"  
"Greg."  
As soon as Roy uttered that name, a tall, mean looking shifter smacked his dumb comrade across the face, sending him flying towards a wall. Roy sighed in annoyance.  
"Well, what do you know? cat's out of the bag. I was hoping to make it more dramatic, but I guess this'll have to do."

Lord (Y\L\N). The brothers were having an especially hard time processing this new information. (Y\N) was related to a shifter. Did that mean...? No. They already tested that option. She wasn't a shifter herself. But to be related to one..  
"This lord (Y\L\N).. how is he related to the girl?"  
Sam's question put the widest smile on the bastard's face yet.

"Well, you see, (Y\N)'s mom wasn't exactly the saint her father thought he married.."  
Sam was starting to get where this was going, and well, if this was what he thought it was, then that Roy bastard needed to change his definition of the word 'dramatic', cos' this shit was straight out of a soap opera. Only with monsters. And more fucked up.  
Dean, unlike his brother, was still confused.  
"Wow. Ok. I guess you really do need me to spell it out for you. Listen, I know your brother is smart and all, but I don't think you need to go to Stanford to understand an elementary matter like this."  
Dean gave the shifter a look that screamed 'You better spill now before I beat you so hard you'll start puking rainbows.'  
Roy held his hands up defensively.

"Geez, calm down there cowboy! How do I explain it so you understand? When a boy loves a girl very much, and the bitch grinds herself on something other than his basically customizable penis, he tends to get angry."  
______________________________________________________________________________

(Y\N) POV  
You couldn't breath. Charlie! Was that her blood on the floor? No. No it couldn't be. She was strong. And smart. And, and oh god the only person who could protect you right now. She couldn't be dead. Not like everyone else. Not like your mom.  
Your whole body started shaking as if it was the midst of winter outside.  
The bathroom was quiet. As if nothing at all happened. As if you didn't look at the dark, red mess covering the floor, it would just cease to exist.  
It just didn't make any sense. Why were you still alive? Why did no monster break the door down to kill you?  
Was it waiting for a signal?

In any case, that gave you time to think. For whatever reason, the monster didn't choose to attack you just yet.  
Running out the door would be impossible, since you knew it was locked up tight. You were too scared to try slipping out a window without making too much noise, and waiting for the brothers seemed like a very stupid plan since you had no incling of when they'd be back.  
What would Charlie do, if she was... with you right now?  
Your mind raced back to the conversation you had with her earlier.  
Could you..? Would that work?  
______________________________________________________________________________

"Starting to get it now, do you?"  
The glare of both Winchester brothers combined felt like it could potentially burn Roy's skin off.  
"So what? Mom had an affair and now her daughter needs to suffer for not being born a freak?"  
"Well, our lord isn't set on making her suffer just yet. He just wants us to collect her for... safekeeping, until he decides. Either way, that doesn't have to involve you. You promise you won't go sniffing around our business, and we promise to take her and leave peacefully."  
They couldn't believe what they were hearing. Give (Y\N) to these freaks? Hell no! They didn't wanna imagine what kind of a twisted future she would get, if her scumbag of a father would even decide to let her have one.

"Do you honestly think this is a deal we'd be okay with?"  
Sam asked, radiating with pent up anger.  
For once, Roy actually looked serious. All humor wiped clean from his eyes that now held only hate and determination. He looked ready to kill.  
"No, but it's the best and only one you're gonna get. You see, one of my underlings has your hacker girl. You don't accept the deal - He's gonna make sure to skin her alive. He already took her form, I don't think he'd have trouble bringing (Y\N) straight to us. Are we clear now?"

That shut both the brothers up. They were cornered. No way out. It was either Charlie or (Y\N).  
Dean cursed himself for being so stupid. How could put Charlie in such danger? How could he ask this much of her? He knew her! He knew she would jump at the chance of being useful, and now look at where it's gotten her. And (Y\N).. she was just a kid! She deserved to grow up, to have friends, find her passions, see the world, away from this shitty hunt or be hunted life.  
"You have 30 minutes. I won't wait longer."  
"Wait!"  
Sam stopped Roy just as he was about to turn his back on them. He raised his eyebrow at the giant.  
"Proof. Give us proof Charlie's ok first."  
Roy signled one of his followers to come forward. The shifter slipped a phone out of his pocket before shoving it into Sam's hands.  
Sam stared at the screen. Their red headed friend was ok. breathing. A little bit beat up, tied, gagged, glaring at the camera, but ok. 

Alive.  
Dean snatched the phone from his little brothers hands to take a look for himself, sighing in relief when he reached the same conclusion.  
"I trust that will be enough convincing?"  
______________________________________________________________________________  
Dean's POV  
The scumbags disgusted me in every single way, but at least they stood by their promise and left us alone for now. 30 minutes.  
30 minutes to decide who lives and who dies.  
I was no where near letting either of them go. Not even close!  
Unlike me, Sam seemed to be much calmer. That irked me. He was just quietly standing there and thinking. Casually.

"Unless you have a plan to get us out of this, you better start looking worried."  
Sam looked over at me with a determined spark in his eyes. Oh? Maybe he did have a plan.. As much as it hurt me to admit, Sam most definitely was the smarter sibling. If anyone could get out of a situation like this, it'd be him.  
"Crowley."  
"What?"  
He'd just cause even more trouble. As if we didn't have enough to deal with already.  
"How many shifters are in there?"  
I thought back for a second, deciding not to be a jerk until I at least listened to what he had to say.  
"Umm... I don't know, 20?"  
Sam looked like he was solving a math problem in his head.  
"And how fast do you think they'll die while faced against.. let's say about 30 demons?"

Oh he was not suggesting what I thought he was suggesting. There is no way Crowley would just happily lend us a small army of demons for a day, not to mention that if that Roy asshole was fast enough to contact his underling at the motel, Charlie would die.  
"How exactly do you plan on convincing the the king of fucking hell to help us?"  
Sam only smiled.  
"We just need to know which buttons to push. Rumors going around he's after a certain rare object."  
"And we have that object?"

"No."  
For the love of -  
"But he doesn't need to know."  
Sam added before I had the chance to really snap at him.  
"Great."  
Now it was the giant's turn to get angry with me.  
"Do you have another plan?"

I sighed. What the hell. Not like we had a choice. We would just have to make sure Charlie and (Y\N) would be ok and out of the way before a very angry, very strong demon came after us. Just another Tuesday night, right?  
"Right.."  
______________________________________________________________________________

"It's done."  
It was making Dean sick even standing near that black-eyed demon, but for once he had no other choice.  
Sam's plan worked like magic. So far. The demons took care of the shifters in less than five minutes, slaughtering each and every one of them. The brothers were just hoping they were quick enough. 

Deciding to settle things with Crowley another time, they both raced to the impala. Dean drove like his life depended on it. Speeding by angry pedestrians and a couple of police men who could only yell after him.  
He simply didn't care. All he was thinking about was (Y\N) and Charlie.  
What if that underling killed them both? These shapeshifters were as nasty and evil as demons. Who knew what was going through their minds.  
They had to get back to the motel. And fast.  
______________________________________________________________________________  
(Y\N) POV  
You heard the screeching of tires and doors slamming open and closed from your spot under the bed. You decided to pull the trick Frodo pulled on those nazgul creatures in Fellowship Of The Ring - You quietly gathered a couple of pillows and stacked them under your blanket, making the shape of a human, and then quickly slipped to safety. You didn't know when the monster would decide to attack, but hopefully it would fool it long enough until the brothers got to you.

And where were the brothers?  
It felt like you were feeding yourself fake hope when you heard the thumping of feet getting closer to the door. It couldn't be them, right? But oh how you hoped it would!  
Your heart was pounding against your chest, in your ears. You were still petrified. Frozen in shock when the door was kicked open.  
As soon as the front door opened however, so did the bathroom door.  
"Charlie?"

Dean's voice washed over you like a warm, summer breeze. They were here!  
"Dean that's not Charlie. She doesn't have the bruises."  
All you could see was legs. And then blood. Who's blood? Oh please let it be the monster's!  
Your wish was granted as you watched fake Charlie's body hitting the ground, making you flinch. Sam's words repeated themselves in your head.  
'That's not Charlie. Not Charlie. Not Charlie.'  
Suddenly two pairs of legs approached the bed. Dean was throwing away the blankets and pillows.

"No."  
It was silent for a couple of long moments while you tried to snap out of your shocked state. To move damn it! Move!  
"She can't be."  
Dean's knees hit the floor. From your position you could see his defeated stance.  
"We can't be too late."  
Sam soon followed his brother and sat down besides him.  
Another type of liquid hit the floor. Not red this time. Transparent. Pure, and even though you didn't touch it, you knew it was warm.

It was the exact type of warmth you needed to unfreeze your cold body.  
You reached your right hand forward on the cold floor, and then a leg, and then pushed your whole body forwards until you were faced with a shocked Sam, and Dean who was currently covering his face, trying to muffle his shortened breathes and put a dam on his tears that just didn't seem to stop flowing.

"Dean."  
Was all Sam said, his eyes roaming over your small form, confirming that you were really alive, and what's more - unhurt.  
"No Sam. This is all my fault."  
You were now only a few centimeters away from the distressed hunter, itching to wipe away his tears. Itching to throw yourself at him and never let go.  
"Dean, just open your eyes damn it!"

Slowly but surely, Dean opened his eyes.  
You couldn't describe the way he looked at you. The emotions swirling and twisting in the green pools of his eyes, until they finally stopped on relief.  
Before you could do it yourself, he pulled you into his lap and wrapped his strong arms around you in a grip you couldn't break even if you wanted to.  
"Oh thank god."  
He pushed out, bringing you even closer to his chest. You let your own hands clench the material of his shirt, holding onto him desperately as if letting go would mean falling into a pit you could never climb out of again.

Listening to his heart beat just as fast as yours made something in you snap, and suddenly you too were crying. Crying and crying and you just couldn't stop.  
Through your blurry vision you could see Sam's hand reaching towards you. It settled on top of your head, and then your face was smashed against another chest.  
You couldn't tell how long you stayed that way, you only knew that this had to be what heaven felt like. For the first time in what felt like eternity you felt safe and protected. No one could break through the massive wall of Sam and Dean's shoulders. No one could get to you.

Dean was whispering "you're ok" under his breath again and again, and you weren't sure who it was directed to, but you didn't care. He was right. You really were ok.  
From all the hundreds of possibilities that were running through your head of how this day was gonna end, this one didn't even make the list.  
Finally, Dean pulled his head back and was now just looking at you in a way that reminded you of how you acted when your mom agreed to let you keep a stray puppy once. It made you giggle.  
Sam gave you a warm smile and ruffled your hair.  
Suddenly, an awkward yell snapped all three of you of your happy little bubble.

"Um... guys?"  
Charlie! Oh god Charlie!  
The brothers had the exact same reaction, both shooting up to their feet. Dean refused to let go of you, however, and was now just carrying you bridal style in his arms.  
"Charlie!"  
Sam took the lead, skipping over the mess of skin and blood the shapeshifter left after itself while turning into the red head, and pushing himself into the bathroom.  
"Hey Sam!"  
Charlie said, followed by a nervous laugh. You had no idea how, but she managed to get the gag cloth out of her mouth. She looked absolutely miserable, although it was obvious she was trying to hide it.  
"Are you ok?"  
Sam made quick work of the rope that was tied around her, and in a couple of seconds she was loose.  
"I'm fine! Did I pass the test?"  
Dean huffed.  
"What test?"  
Charlie gave you a proud smile.

"Am I officially qualified to be (Y\N)'s babysitter?"  
______________________________________________________________________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys think? Like I said, yes it's kind of short, but still I hope you liked it!


	4. A whole lot of confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get addicted to a video game, Cas and Charlie come to visit, basically just a whole bunch of shit happens. Also, very fluffy towards the end.

Chapter 4

It’s been a little over two weeks since the whole shifter disaster. When the brothers introduced you to the bunker and gave you your own room, you realized you were going to have to get used to your new ‘family’.  
It was hard to look around and not see anything you truly believed to be yours. Your new bed. Your new pillow. Your new blanket. There was too much new for you.

You could see you worried them, but you couldn’t do anything about it. When you were scared, unsure, uncomfortable - your instinct was to hide.  
Dean thankfully understood. While he did try to get you to open up during meals, he mostly left you to yourself, waiting for you to come out of your shell on your own.

Sam, however, was a hard one to dodge. If you were in the kitchen - he was in the kitchen. If you were on your way to your room - he was casually following behind. If you were sitting at the table, watching Vampire Diaries on Dean’s laptop (Not something he was especially happy about) - he was there. The man was everywhere!  
It was slowly eating away at your patience, but what could you do? You didn’t want act ungrateful!  
However, the nagging part of you that kept yelling at you to be polite was slowly getting beaten by the part of you that just wanted to let your frustration out.  
You were currently on another one of your Netflix binges when you could practically feel someone’s stare at the back of your head.  
That was the last straw. You snapped your head to the direction you thought Sam was, about to lay into him, when you were faced with a pair of unfamiliar blue eyes.

“Umm.. Hello. Are you one of Sam and Dean’s friends?”  
The stranger only stared at you in confusion. You grew uncomfortable under his gaze. Who was this guy?!  
“Cas! I see you met (Y\N).”  
Dean’s voice echoed a bit in the big room as he climbed down the stairs.

“Yes.”  
Was all he answered with, still not averting his damn eyes. Did he not like you or something?  
“Well don’t be a stranger, introduce yourself.”  
‘Cas’ finally looked at Dean and you managed to start breathing again. It was like he sucked all the oxygen in the room into his blue eyes when he looked at you.  
“I’m Castiel, an angel of the lord.”  
Why did that sound logical? You probably should have just assumed the guy was nuts, but if you were honest with yourself - angel or not, that stare of his was definitely not human.  
“Dean, have you perhaps visited the amazon warrior lady, the one that resulted in you fathering a child?”  
Dean had a kid?!

“What?”  
‘Castiel’ looked at you with a half sympathetic half proud look on his face.  
“It’s ok, I didn’t know the specific details of how a baby is made either at first. It’s actually quite wondrous, you see,”  
“That’s enough of that buddy.”  
Dean stopped his awkward friend before he could say anything more. Your cheeks were now bright red.You only noticed Sam’s presence in the room when he was about to cover your ears.  
“We found her on a case. Long story short she didn’t have anywhere to stay, so we’re keeping her for now.”

As if to prove Dean’s point, Sam ruffled your hair fondly.  
The older Winchester turned towards you.  
“And no, I don’t have a kid. I mean, I kinda had one? Weird case. Sam took care of her.”  
You didn’t want to know if he meant that as in killed her or just literally took care of her.  
“Anyways, Cas is here to help with this vampire situation.”

They never talked anymore than necessary about their cases, which you were kind of okay with at first. However, that short period of ‘ignorance is bliss’ quickly ended when you started noticing them coming back to the bunker and sprinting to their rooms, emerging back in front of you only when they were sure you couldn’t detect any blood stains or scratches on their body. After being in their company for a while though, you slowly started noticing the way they were so obsessively keen on hiding things from you.  
You quickly snapped yourself out of your thoughts before anyone could get suspicious of your long silence. The especially intense stare the alleged angel pierced you with told you he already started considering it thoroughly. You couldn’t really understand why he was focusing on you so much.

“Problem is, we don’t know for sure who they are..”  
Sam was saying it more to Dean and Castiel than to you, but his brother still gave him the “Not in front of the kid’ look, which over time was really starting to piss you off. You surprised yourself when the sudden urge to actually join the conversation took over you. Back at home, you didn’t have a place. Not really.  
Here though, it seemed like you actually stood a chance.  
“You could always lure them into the sunlight and see if they sparkle.”  
You suggested jokingly, only to have the brothers give you identical sarcastically disappointed looks, and blue eyes to tilt his head to the right in a way you found almost endearing.

“I thought vamps didn’t sparkle in douche-bags diaries.”  
You made a face at Dean’s insult at your currently favorite TV show. Damon was not a douche bag! A bit of a jerk, sure, but not a.. Oh shit you actually couldn’t disagree with him there.  
“Yeah, well their hearts are in the right place.They aren’t that douchie..”  
The rugged hunter only gave you a roll of his eyes before replying with:  
“Yeah but their teeth are not.” Which you couldn’t disagree with either. Damn Dean and his logical logic. You had a feeling the guy knew you were mostly watching the series because of, you know… good looking men. Not that you would ever admit that out loud. You would die from embarrassment.  
Sam, who was looking between you and his brother for the last couple of minutes, finally decided to stop your glaring contest.

“Well, (Y\N), we’re gonna be researching for a while...”  
The look he gave you was one that you’ve gotten used to pretty quickly. It basically said ‘Go to your room for a while until we’re done discussing matters you can’t be a part of.’  
It panged your heart when they did that. You knew you couldn’t do anything to help. You knew you weren’t a fighter. You knew they wouldn’t let you research with them (Heck, just watching a show with vampires in it got you disapproving looks from Dean), You couldn’t answer phone calls and pretend you were some badass FBI person and scare away those who needed to be scared away so that the brothers could work freely. You were useless.  
A familiar feeling of shame washed over you and you lowered your head a bit, letting your hair cover your eyes. Your hands were twitching at your sides, your fingers intertwining and seperating over and over again.

“I’ll bring over some beer.”  
Dean passed by you in his way to the kitchen. You were good at hiding your emotions, but you also knew that it might not always work against the brothers observant nature. Whether they realized something was off about you or not though, you didn’t know. If they did, they seemed to be ignoring it.  
You were clenching your hands without noticing, tightening them into fists until your skin turned white.  
Suddenly warm, gentle hands cupped your own, stopping the movement.  
You looked up in surprise only to find the last person you expected in the world to be staring at you, blocking out the rest of the room.

“C-Castiel?”  
You asked shyly. The angel didn’t move. Didn’t speak. Didn’t bat an eyelash. He just looked at you with a weird combination of understanding and pity.  
Pity. You didn’t need any pity.  
Without thinking about it twice you yanked your quivering hands out of his grip and turned around, not waiting to see his reaction.  
______________________________________________________________________________

 

“Dean.”  
It was the third time since (Y\N) left the room that Castiel was calling his friend’s name, but the man refused to answer. He just kept staring at a book, frowning, but everyone who looked closely could tell no real reading was taking place.  
“Dean.”  
The angel called again, this time with a hint of danger in his voice. 

“What?!”  
The man finally answered, or more accurately - growled out. He still didn’t meet Cas’s eyes yet though, keeping them fixed on a line that he just couldn’t finish reading.  
Sam, who didn’t feel like getting caught in their up and coming fight quickly excused himself, making up something about a supply run.  
“What are you thinking?”  
Dean huffed in annoyance.  
“I’m thinking I’d just love it if you let me research in peace.”  
Castiel walked up to the opposite side of the table - directly in front of his mildly pissed off friend. Without a warning he snatched the book from his hands, forcing him to finally look at him. What he found in his eyes though, wasn’t anger. It was guilt. A justified emotion to feel right now,if he was to judge.  
“You know that bringing a child into a hunter’s life is something that would undoubtedly backfire someday.”

Dean didn’t avert his eyes this time, even though the angel could tell he very much wanted to.  
“I’m not gonna leave her to suffer an adoption process that would take years to finish when she can have me and Sam by her side.”  
The green forests in his eyes almost looked like they caught on fire.  
“Dean,”  
Cas started again, but it seemed like the hunter blocked him out completely now. It was only him and his determination to make things right for (Y\N). Nevertheless, he still tried to logic with him.

“Do you truly believe keeping her here would be any better?”  
The look Dean gave him told him that he had already considered that. If he did - surely they reached the same conclusion?  
“This is my responsibility. (Y\N) is my responsibility.”  
So it was that again. Of course a random child he helped was his responsibility.  
“You don’t always have to carry such burdens on your shoulders.”  
Castiel readied himself for the next sentence he felt compelled to say.

“I’m sure Sam already brought this up... you are aware I’m able to erase her memories, yes?”  
Before Dean could open his mouth to reply the angel held up his hand before adding -  
“Please just think about it.”  
And then the sound of wings flapping indicated the end of their conversation. For now..  
______________________________________________________________________________

(Y\N) POV  
When you finally got to your still unfamiliar bed, you felt the weird urge to punch it. It still didn’t belong to you. Nothing in this place belonged to you, and you were angry at the brothers for that.  
It almost seemed like they intentionally tried to push you out.  
Sure, they worried about you, and Sam practically followed you everywhere just to make sure you were fine, but you had an awful feeling in the pit of your stomach that it was all out of pity.  
You weren’t brave enough to punch the bed though. You weren’t a violent person. You felt like if you did your mom would frown down at you from heaven, so for now you settled on the cold floor. If they didn’t want to let you in - you weren’t gonna force your presence on them. 

Your resolve wavered a little though, when you looked over at Dean’s headphones at the other side of the room. You really felt like blocking out the outside world, and music always did the trick. You were especially fond of the big, thick headphones you got for your birthday from aunt Grace. Those could block out even the sounds of… fighting, when things got heated between your parents.  
Before you could regret it you made your way over to the wooden cabinet the headphones were resting on and picked them up.  
As soon as the familiar voice of Julia Stone washed over you, singing Take You Away, you found yourself starting to relax.  
That didn’t last very long though, because out of nowhere some ACDC song made you jump. Dean’s phone was ringing. You were about to get up and make a quick sprint to the guys before you read the name that was flushed on the screen.

Charlie.  
For a brief moment you didn’t care that she wanted to talk to Dean instead of you, and you slid your finger to answer.  
“Dean?”  
Came the red head’s cheerful voice over the line.  
“Umm.. It’s (Y\N).”  
You said, only now realizing how ridiculous it was you didn’t just pass over the phone to the hunter.

“Oh (Y\N)! How are you doing? The guys treating you well?”  
You threw your eyes over to the direction of the door, not really sure what to reply with. It’s not that they treated you bad.. It’s just..  
“What did they do?”  
Her voice was laced with annoyance, which thankfully you knew wasn’t directed at you.

“Nothing!”  
You quickly answered. You didn’t want to get the boys in trouble, although having actually met Charlie, you weren’t really sure what she could do other than force them to watch a marathon of all 7 and a half Harry Potter movies. And maybe the entire trilogy of Lord Of The Rings. Ok yeah, she was a force to be reckoned with.  
“Ok.. well listen, how about I stop by in a couple of minutes? I’m in the area anyways. Do you want me to buy you a snack or something?”  
She was so kind to you, and you didn’t know why. 

“No no, that’s ok! You don’t have to.”  
In the back of your head though, two un mannered monkeys ran around and chanted “you have to come over!” Again and again in determination. They were protesting that you were bored, and hurt, and that Charlie promised you she would teach you to play some video games when you met again.  
“(Y\N), I may not know you all that well yet, but I’m pretty sure I just heard your inner grumpy smurf talking. I’m on my way.”  
And just like that the room returned to it’s usual state of silence.  
______________________________________________________________________________

Sam got back from his ‘supply run’ and checked around the room to determine if he should wait just a little more outside. He really didn’t feel like walking into a fight.  
Luckily there was no yelling or fighting, since player number 2 was nowhere to be found. He sighed in relief.

“What are you standing around for?”  
Charlie’s unexpected voice threw him off guard.  
“What are you doing here?”  
The red head squeezed herself passed the giant and into the bunker.

“Thought I’d stop by to see how (Y\N) is doing.”  
“Charlie?”  
(Y\N)’s quiet voice came from the now half opened door. The men watched in awe as the normally good mannered 14 year old jumped on their surprised friend, wrapping her in a tight hug. Charlie ruffled her hair, giggling.

“Aren’t you excited?”  
Instead of saying anything, (Y\N) just hid her face in her t-shirt, reminding Dean of a little kitten looking for warmth in its mother’s fur. His eyes softened.  
“When did you two become so close?”  
Sam asked. Charlie ignored his question, untangling (Y\N) from her so she could look the girl in the eye.  
Dean watched in interest as the two exchanged meaningful looks. It made him kind of irritated when he couldn’t decipher what was behind them.

“Well, we’re gonna be in (Y\N)’s room. If you need anything - knock.”  
______________________________________________________________________________

“Another dragon?! This is the third one, and we only just left Windhelm! We’re never gonna get to the thieves guild at that rate!”  
Sam and Dean exchanged worried looks. It’s been three hours since girls locked themselves up in (Y\N)’s room, and in these three hours all they could hear through the door were sentences that made them question their sanity.  
“Don’t worry, we’ll just have to make a stop and find a place where we can disenchant that blade of fire. We'll give those dragons a taste of their own medicine. Fight fire with fire, right?”  
Charlie’s voice soon followed. What in the name of-

“Ok this ends now.”  
Dean said, before knocking loudly on the door.  
“We’re busy! Come back later ok?”  
Both hunters stared at the closed door with annoyance.  
“Busy doing what?”  
Sam asked the question his brother most wanted to ask. What the hell were those girls up to?!

“(Y\N) be careful,those werewolves are persistent, you need to catch some distance and snipe them from afar.”  
“Charlie!”  
Dean roared. The red head immediately stopped talking. He felt a little bad for yelling, but he knew it would get her to listen.  
Just as the hunter planned, the sound of a key turning reached his ears, and then the door was opened. Out stepped just a slightly terrified Charlie.  
“It’s a just game Dean, no need to get angry!”  
Sam glanced around the room, finding (Y\N) sitting facing his brother’s laptop. Her face was furrowed in concentration, clicking on the mousepad as if her life depended on it. He didn’t even think she noticed them there.

“(Y\N)..”  
He called out, trying to get her attention without much success.  
Soon Dean joined him, slamming his hands on the table at both of her sides. It only made her flinch.  
“One more minute. What type of a Thane am I if I don’t help out my Housecarl?”  
“What?”  
“She means -”

Charlie started explaining, but closed her mouth once her eyes caught Dean’s glare. He closed the laptop shut with a swift swipe of his hand before (Y\N) could protest against it.  
“Noooo! Do you know how much progress I lost? I’m gonna have to do that werewolf quest all over again…!”  
She only got a roll of his eyes in return, making her irritated.  
“Do you mind telling me what the hell is going on?!”  
“Skyrim”  
She said simply. As if it made any sense to him what-so-ever.  
Sam looked at Charlie for an explanation, but she didn’t dare say anything, worried it might rail Dean up again.  
“What is that? Klingon? Enochian?”  
(Y\N) shook her head.  
“It’s a video games about adventures and legends!” She declared with excitement, and then continued on proudly.  
“I’m (Y\N) the invincible, Thane of whiterun, Harbinger of the companions, Protector of Solitude, Dragonborn -”  
Dean held his hands up.  
“Wow, slow down, what are you, a character from Game Of Thrones?”  
Sam, unlike his brother, was finding the whole situation hilarious. He made an effort to hide it, but the weight of two piercing glares told him he failed quite miserably.  
“That funny to you Sam? The last thing we need is for our girl over here to get addicted to fighting vampires!”  
Dean was furious. He was taking everything very seriously for some reason.

 

“Actually, I don’t fight vampires. I am one. I fight werewolves.”  
Sam stepped in front of his brother, who was unconsciously getting closer and closer to (Y\N).

“Dean, it’s just a game.”

The hunter squeezed the wrinkle between his eyebrows, as if just standing there was giving him a headache.  
(Y\N) suddenly felt like curling into herself. She was jealous of turtles - they could just pop their heads back inside whenever things got too intimidating, as random as that sounded.  
“Dean,”  
She called, but he only shook his head before turning around and leaving the room.  
______________________________________________________________________________

(Y\N) POV

You didn’t know what you did to piss Dean off so much. Surely he wasn't the type that believed video games could make you violent? Even if he did, you’ve worked so hard to be polite, to be a good person around him. Did he really believe you were a bad person?

But weren’t you? When you waved them goodbye whenever they left on a hunt, wasn’t what you actually wanted to do was beg them to stay? The silence you craved for so much when you were concentrating on trying to make your ears become one with your headphones back at home was now added to your list of new scary things to experience. You were glad you didn’t have any nightmares yet, but looking around every corner fearing to find monsters waiting for the perfect chance to strike wasn’t exactly a favorable state for you to be in either.  
Not only were the monsters, well - monsters, but they could also be either of the brothers for all you know. Kind of..

No, actually you did know. Their eyes told you everything. The problem was, you weren’t used to looking people in the eye. If your hair didn’t do the job of covering your face well enough, you could just look at the floor. It sounded kind of ridiculous, but not looking people in the eye kind of felt safe. Like you turned just a tad bit invisible when you didn’t see them look at you.

The most scary thing of the bizarre situation you were suddenly thrown into was that for the first time in your life you actually wanted to get better. To be strong enough to break through this wall of non-existence. To be visible. Sam and Dean offered you something you never even knew you needed. 

A place to belong.  
And now, now what?  
Dean was angry at you. Disappointed. How was it that no matter how hard you tried you were never good enough?  
You don’t sit straight enough in your chair. You forget to close your mouth when you eat. You put too much on your plate, what are you a pig? What would guests think of your behaviour when they come over? Why do you always seem to get stuff on your shirt? Why do you keep bothering people when they have other things to take care of?

Always, always selfish.  
No wonder Dean was angry with you. God, you didn’t even ask his permission to download the video game on his laptop! And Charlie got yelled at because of you!  
But you couldn’t help it. You really needed an escape, and Skyrim served that purpose like even music couldn’t. 

Sam left the room after his brother, Charlie trailing behind him quietly, and you were terrified to follow them.  
Your first instinct was to slip your head back into your shell, only now didn’t feel like you had one to crawl back into.  
Turtles - their shell was their home. Your home… 

wasn’t it the Winchesters?  
______________________________________________________________________________

Sam stood in front of his older brother, planning on staying glued to his side until he could understand what kind of strange thoughts were running through his ridiculously paranoid mind.  
“What are you so afraid of?”  
Dean looked at him like he was crazy.

“Do you really have to ask? This was a mistake Sam, we should have listened to Cas, It’s too dangerous! There is no place for her here!”

All of a sudden Charlie let out a loud cough. Dean’s eyes snapped to the door just in time to see a small shaky figure running away.  
“Shit, (Y\N)!”  
He set off running after her.  
“(Y\N) wait!”

She didn’t listen, just kept running. It wasn’t long until he caught up to her though, him being much faster than she was. He could tell she was running out of breath, but the fact that he couldn’t distinguish if it was a result of running or crying made his heart shrink. Shrink to an extent where it felt like if he didn’t see her smile soon it would never expand back again.  
He slowly leaned down to her level.

“(Y\N).”  
She didn’t look at him. She seemed so fragile the way she was standing - legs shaking, head down, hair dangling in front of her eyes like a thin wall of paper about to be torn apart.  
“Kiddo.. Look at me.”  
She shook her head slowly, defeated. Tired.

“Please?”  
A few long moments of silence on her side broke his patience, and he let his hands pull the hair out of her wet face.  
“I’m sorry…”  
Why was she apologizing?  
With her head still down, she continued on.

“I screwed everything up again, didn’t I?”  
Dean wasn’t even sure she was talking to him anymore.  
“Again?”  
Her puffy eyes looked like they were burning holes into the floor. Holes she looked like she wanted to jump into and never ever climb out of.

“Again.”  
She whispered back, nodding slowly. Whatever it was she wasn’t telling him, he didn’t want to push. There were more important matters to discuss.  
“Look.. what I said before, I wasn’t saying it because I don’t like having you around..”  
That got her attention. Those big eyes of hers finally dared to lift a few inches off their spot on the ground.  
“It’s just.. this isn't a place for a kid, It’s dangerous, you could get hurt!”  
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, her teary, red eyes met his green ones.

“I.. Is that the reason?”  
Dean gave her a confused look.  
“What?”  
“You don’t hate me?”  
“Hate you?”  
“You don’t think I’m selfish?”

Selfish? Did she mistake one the cans of beer laying around for apple juice? Maybe he should have listened to Sam about putting them out of her reach..  
“You are the farthest from selfish I have ever seen. It’s actually kind of worrying.”  
(Y\N) looked at him with so much hope in her eyes that he actually started getting uncomfortable.  
“What?”  
Dean found himself asking that question a lot today.

“So the only problem is my safety?”  
The only problem?! How could she say that so nonchalantly?  
The hunter put his big hand over his forehead and let out an annoyed sigh. His head was hurting from thinking so much.  
“You are one confusing little creature, you know that?”  
(Y\N) let a small smile climb onto her lips. 

“If I don't leave the bunker I can’t get hurt!”  
She stated proudly, looking like she just figured out the cure for cancer.  
“I promise not to get involved with your hunts! There’s a huge difference between wanting to be a monster killing superhero and actually being one.”

A superhero? Is that what she thought Sam and him were? He didn’t want to admit it outloud, but that was definitely the type of reassurance he craved for.  
“You’re not gonna run away to play powerpuff girls with any hunter’s daughters, are you?”  
(Y\N) shook her head in excitement she couldn't contain anymore, before jumping into Dean's arms, knocking the baffled guy into the floor.

“So I can stay?”  
She asked, feeling the chest underneath her bubble with laughter. She kept still, not even breathing. She had to hear him say it.

“You can stay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took a while for me to finish... I would be super happy if you guys write a comment saying what you thought of it! I hope those of you who got this far keep following the story, I have tons of ideas for this fic and I feel like I wouldn't be done with it anytime soon.
> 
> Again, suggestions are always welcomed.


	5. A new friend!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You make a new friend!

Hushed arguments and secretive looks were now a daily thing. You used to think reading the Winchesters was not going to be that much of a deal, but trying to figure them out was like reading a mystery book where the author intentionally left no clues.   
As soon as you entered a room Sam would put on a forced smile and Dean would come up with a completely random topic to talk about which neither of you were interested in. 

It was starting to drive you nuts. Even though you knew why they didn’t want to involve you with their work, you eventually started to find the whole thing ridiculous and annoying.  
It’s not that you wanted in on the cases to physically partake in it. Couldn’t be any further from that really. After all, who in their right mind wanted to fight monsters for a living? Actually scratch that, you were pretty sure they weren’t getting paid to do it anyways. You just felt that while it was dangerous to be involved in any of it, it was also a huge part of their lives that you had no access to. They didn’t want to let you in, and it was starting to mess with your belief that they even wanted to keep you with them in the first place. And that hurt.

“Food’s ready!”  
Sam’s voice echoed down the hallway, snapping you out of your thoughts. You got up from your place on your bed with an effort. You were finding it harder and harder to face them lately. Their fake smiles were like a contagious disease. 

You made your way towards the big wooden table, today with no exception stacked with messy layers above layers of open books and pieces of paper with strange symbols.  
You took your seat as Dean brushed a couple of books to the side, making just enough room for his plate.  
Sam looked around for a possible place to put his bowl of salad, but after a while gave up and ended up laying it on top of a book about ancient witchcraft. You know, what normal people read about.

“Help yourself.”  
Dean said, taking a big bite out of his hamburger while pointing over at a plate he placed on a chair, obviously not finding a place for it at the table either.  
“So we were thinking,”  
Sam started as you picked up your own hamburger.

“The bunker isn’t exactly the most interesting place to spend basically all of your time in,”  
Yeah. When you weren’t allowed to touch any of the books. What’s the point of a library if reading is forbidden?  
“And.. Dean and I aren’t exactly the best company out there,”  
The older Winchester made a face at that.

“So.. how about we get you enrolled into a nice school?”  
You noticeably tensed up in your chair. A stray tomato slice fell down your shirt.  
“You’ll make new friends!, and you won’t need to be lonely anymore, it’ll be great!”  
Sam added quickly.   
Going to a new school? As if you didn’t have enough things to get used to already!  
“That’s what normal kids do.”  
Dean stated. You looked at him, lips covered in crumbs of bread, hand resting on a book called ‘Unicorns. Mythes, or your daughter’s next birthday present?’

You almost rolled your eyes.  
“You’re the last person on earth to preach about what’s normal.”  
You said, reaching for a napkin to clean Dean’s mouth with it. It wasn’t the first time you did something like that and you knew it made him annoyed, but that didn’t stop you from doing it. Your father always made you feel like a bad person if you ever got dirty while eating. Dean wasn’t a bad person. 

The hunter caught your hand in his strong grip.  
“You live in my house, you go by my rules. I say you go to school you go to school. Clear?”  
Scratch that. The guy could be pretty mean sometimes. You let out a sigh.

“Clear?”  
He repeated. You looked down and nodded.  
“Good.”  
Sam gave his brother a disapproving look, which he completely ignored. The gentle giant turned to you.

“Look.. I know you’re nervous, but I’m sure you’ll do fine. It can only do you good to spend time with kids your age.”  
Your eyes were fixed on the fallen slice of tomato in your lap. You didn’t know how you were gonna handle school. You used to hate going to the private one your parents insisted you’d go to.  
Sam felt a little bad, but instead of changing his mind he simply ran his fingers through your hair, trying to give you even just a small sense of comfort.

“You start this Monday.”  
Your head shot up.  
“What?”  
You only had two days to mentally prepare yourself?!

“But Dean!”  
His eyes softened just a little at your plea.   
“If anyone gives you trouble, you tell them they better back off before I come beat their asses.”  
Yeah, like you would ever let some poor kid anywhere near Dean. The dude was scary as all hell when he was angry.  
Said hunter finished his hamburger and stood up, making his way to his room. You were left looking at Sam who was halfway through his salad.  
“We got you everything you need. Backpack, notebooks, all of that. It’s in the closet in your room.”

Well, wasn’t that just great?  
______________________________________________________________________________

Today was the dreaded day.  
You butt seemed to be glued to your seat in the Impala. You were suddenly reminded of the one time your parents took you to the amusement park, and when you went on the rollercoaster you were told to keep your hands and feet inside the cart. This felt exactly the same. Setting a foot outside felt dangerous.  
Dean, who saw you still just sitting there came over to your side and opened the door.

“Out.”  
You shook your head frantically. He sighed. To your surprise, instead of haling you outside his beloved car, he simply knelt down on the ground in front of you.Your eyes were level with his.  
“You don’t think you can do this?”  
You shook your head again.

“Why? you’re the bravest little girl I know. Smart too. I don’t see any reason why you should be scared.”  
Your eyes widened at his words. Dean wasn’t big on compliments, and it didn’t even sound like it was intended as one. He said it like it was a fact.   
You felt your heart stretch itself out to fill a big unexpected flow of warmth. You set a leg on the ground in front of you. If Dean didn’t doubt you could do it, how could you? He was the first person you ever really looked up to.

“I can do this.”  
You said in determination. The hunter gifted you with a proud smile.  
“Don’t forget your backpack.”  
Sam reminded you, circling his way around the car and stopping behind you, helping you put it on. When he was done he gave you a gentle push towards the school’s gate.

“Have fun!”  
___________________________

“Good morning class, today we have a new transfer student. (Y\N), do you want to introduce yourself to everybody?”  
Miss Green, your new teacher asked. You felt yourself tense.

Dean said you’re brave. Dean said you’re smart. Dean said you’re brave. Dean said you’re smart.  
You kept that mantra going at the back of your head

“I-I’m, my name is (Y\N), (Y\N) Winchester.”  
You didn’t know why but ‘Winchester’ came to mind faster than ‘(Y\L\N)’ did.  
Looking back at miss Green for approval you could tell she expected you to say more than just your name, but you honestly didn’t know what to say. 

‘Hello I’m (Y\N) and I live with two guys who hunt monsters, my family is dead, and last week I met an angel who only just recently found out how babies are born.’  
Everyone would think you’re nuts!  
Before it could get any more awkward, miss Green directed you to your seat at the back of the class. You gladly buried your eyes in your textbook. You hated knowing you were the center of attention, even if it was just for a couple of seconds.  
____________________________________________________________________________

“She’ll be fine! you said so yourself - she needs to be around kids her age. ”

Dean told his brother for what felt like the hundredth time in just these past two hours, but the giant was still pacing back and forth in the room. He managed to hide his worry from (Y\N) when they dropped her off so as to not add up to her already building pressure, but as soon as they got back to the bunker the moose was out of the bag.  
“What if she get’s bullied?”  
Dean rolled his eyes and opened the fridge, looking desperately for a beer.

“Are we out?”  
He grumbled in irritation.   
“I mean, I got bullied when I was a kid.”  
Sam continued his paranoid blubbering. What could little (Y\N) possibly do if she was put in the same situations he was often put in at her age? She didn’t have a father and a big brother that taught her self defence since she was practically a baby. And kids could be really mean!

“Wait, didn’t you hide it somewhere so (Y\N) wouldn’t accidentally drink it?”  
The older Winchester proceeded to open random cabinets, seemingly indifferent to the whole thing.  
“Maybe I should have talked to her teacher beforehand, you know, made sure she keeps an eye on her..”  
Sam said, going past the same bookshelf he walked by five times already, and then heading over to his brother who was now crouched down in front of a cleaning supply drawer.

“Are you even listening?”  
Dean sighed.  
“Yeah yeah, you were a weird-ass kid and nobody liked you, so you got your ass kicked. Luckily you had an awesome big brother who taught you some sweet moves to scare them away with. Now do you mind telling me where you hid the damn beer?”  
A drawer to his left was yanked open with an unnecessary force. 

“There.”  
Dean picked up the unopened case of beer like it was treasure, muttering “Come to papa” as he reached to open a bottle. Sam rolled his eyes.  
“Look, she’s a good kid, I don’t think she’ll have trouble making friends”  
He said half mindedly. 

“Dean, I’m serious.”  
The rugged hunter teared his attention away from the drink with an effort. He could tell Sam really needed reassurance, but had no idea how to convince him the girl would be ok. That is, until a random thought popped into his head. 

“You know, I once watched a video where a woman was helping a bunny pass gas.”  
Sam looked at him like he lost his mind.  
“What?”  
What the hell was he on about?!  
“Yeah, I know! Weird, right? Bunnies can fart on their own, they don’t need help with something that comes naturally to them.”

“Your point being?”  
Why did his brother have to turn out so weird?  
“(Y\N) will make friends, because that’s what happens naturally. She doesn’t need your help with that.”  
Bless him and his inability to find normal analogies to things.

“(Y\N) isn’t a bunny, and I’m not trying to help her fart, and when on earth did you watch a video about something like that in the first place?”

Dean took a big gulp out of his bottle.  
“Well, you happened to be home using my laptop, so I couldn’t exactly let mini me out to play. I mean, no offence rapunzel, anime porn is one thing, but you man - you should stay locked in that tower of yours in Disneyland where it’s kid friendly.”

That shut him up for a while.

“Dean?”  
“Yes?”

“Eww.”

______________________________________________________________________________

It was lunch break, and you still didn’t gather enough courage to talk to anyone. It seemed that everyone had their groups and you couldn’t find your way in. As a result you sat alone at your table, nibbling on half a sandwich you didn’t have the appetite to finish. Your eyes wandered around the noisy classroom, not giving up hope yet. You sighed in relief when you noticed a boy sitting alone in his chair just like you. He had messy black hair and was nose-deep into a sketchbook. Perfect. You could just ask him about his drawing!

“Hey,”  
You awkwardly pushed out, fidgeting beside his table. Now that you were close you could see his drawing better. It was an illustration of a girl with white fluffy wings. It was beautiful.  
“Wow.”  
You said before you could stop yourself.  
The boy didn’t answer, just kept drawing. You didn’t think he even noticed your presence. 

“Hey, what’s your name?”  
You made sure to speak a little louder this time, and his head shot up like an arrow. His black hair covered most of his face, but you could still see his thin eyes widening in surprise underneath. His white cheeks reddened slightly.  
“Are- are you talking to me?”  
He stuttered, pointing to his chest. He looked pretty terrified.

“Yes.”   
He looked at you in… disbelief? Weird.  
“My name is Yuuki.”  
He answered, almost looking proud at the fact that he managed to keep the stutter out of his voice this time. You couldn’t help but smile. He was cute!  
“My name is (Y\N). I really like your drawing.”  
You said, pointing at his sketchbook. Yuuki tensed up in his chair, hands itching to cover it.. 

“Thank you..”  
He wasn’t looking at you when he said that. Another person who found it difficult to look people in the eye? There was definitely potential for friendship there.  
“Can I.. eat my lunch here? I don’t really fit in with the rest of the class..”  
Yuuki looked like he was struck by lightning and was now in a permanent state of shock. You had no idea why, but you started to laugh. The shy black haired boy was making a very noticeable attempt to become one with his chair, and unfortunately that made it all the more hilarious to you.

“W-what?”  
He asked, his cheeks the color of a tomato by now.  
“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m laughing. I just didn’t think I would find anyone I’d actually like to be friends with.”  
______________________________________________________________________________

It was getting close to the end of the school day, and Sam was sitting on the couch, tapping his fingers on his lap in an aggressive rhythm.   
“Shouldn’t we go pick her up already?”  
Dean, who was focused on re-reading files related to their current case, plunked down beside his brother with a loud thud and picked up a cup of coffee from the table.

“They finish in one hour, and it takes like ten minutes tops to get there. We got a case to work on which we can’t discuss near (Y\N), so why don’t you take a break from checking your watch every two seconds and help me figure this thing out?”  
Sam snapped his eyes away from his watch, embarrassed at being caught at the action.  
“Fine.”  
Dean threw the files onto his brother’s lap.

“Good, cos I’ve been at it since the morning and I need my coffee break.”  
It was quiet as Sam concentrated on the witness reports. This time they suspected a pack of Skinwalkers. Now that they were familiar with the damn creatures, their suspect list had almost doubled. How exactly were they supposed to question any of them when they looked identical to any regular ol’ dog?

“Find anything?”  
Sam shook his head, his eyes willing for some clues to pop out from between the pages.  
“Any idea what to do next then?”  
Dean tried. They were really stuck with this one.  
“Uh.. check every person in the neighborhood who has a dog?”

“Brilliant idea Sam! let me just get my cookie bag and we can go door to door and girl-scout those mothers!”  
______________________________________________________________________________

 

Yuuki and you got along better than you could have ever expected. You spent basically the whole day together, and it turned out that he too had only just transferred a couple of weeks ago. You shared stories and jokes, and even though he was the shyest person you have ever met, you still managed to get him to open up.  
Well, you couldn’t take all the credit. It was during breaktime that you noticed a comic book peeking out from his bag, and as soon as you asked about it he just couldn’t stop talking, even lended you the first few copies. He told you his dream was to become a comic book artist, or a ‘mangaka’, which was according to him what they called them in Japan.

The two of you were currently sitting outside on the grass as he showed you different character designs for a project he was working on, when three mean looking upperclassmen approached you.  
“What do we have here..”  
One of them - a smug looking guy with slick blonde hair asked. Oh great. A real-life Draco Malfoy. Yuuki stared down at the grass beneath him.

“What, are we interrupting your.. I would say date but I don’t think our girl here wants your tiny noodle anywhere near her.”  
Yuuki’s cheeks turned bright red. You hoped it was from anger. No one deserved to be treated like that. Especially not the boy at your side who was now biting his lips in an effort not to cry.   
The thought of telling him off to Dean suddenly seemed more than just appropriate, but going on a “My big brother(\adoptive whatever he was to you) is stronger than you and he will beat you up!” Rampage felt too childish.  
You stood up.

“Back off.”  
You warned. Yuuki looked up at you in surprise. ‘Draco’ looked back to his own ‘Goyle’ and ‘Crab’, a smug smile spreading across his lips. You wanted nothing more than to smack it right off.  
“Shit, maybe I was wrong. Love isn’t all about size right?”

The bastard was staring right at your chest. The guys behind him weren’t shy to join. A wave of sickness washed over you and you tried to push away the nausea. Your now shaky hands reached up to cover yourself from the intense stares the guys were piercing you with.  
Out of nowhere the only thing you could see was black hair blocking the bullies out.  
Yuuki -

“What, you wanna say something?”  
The angry voice made you flinch. You wanted to scream out for Yuuki to just run because the guy he was facing seemed way too dangerous to stand up to. But your new friend didn’t run. Didn’t even say anything. He just stood there, his arms spread to his sides in a protective stance.

“Don’t you speak English?! Answer me!”  
The guy was getting closer and closer to Yuuki, until he finally held him up by the collar of his shirt.  
“Leave him alone!”  
You cried out.

“What is going on here?”  
The bullies froze in their place at the authoritative voice.  
Miss Green was standing right beside you, her arms crossed, her face the very definition of angry.  
‘Goyle’ and ‘Crab’ slowly took their places behind their friend, hoping to slip out of sight. Unfortunately, that didn’t really work out for them.

“You three,”  
She ordered.  
“You’re coming with me.”  
______________________________________________________________________________ 

Yuuki and you were standing side by side, him waiting for the bus while you were scanning the distance for the Impala.   
“Here,”  
He said, handing you a piece of paper. You held it to your eyes. It was the drawing of the winged girl you saw him sketching before. You looked at the piece of paper in your hands and then at him.  
“For me?”  
He nodded. This time, instead of looking at the ground he looked you right in the eyes. 

The sound of the bus parking broke your trance.  
“Bye.”  
Yuuki said, fixing his backpack over his shoulder and getting inside, leaving you wondering what had just happened.

*Beep beeeep!*  
Your eyes snapped away from the bus to land on the impala. Dean popped his head out of the window, a big smile plastered on his face.  
“You coming kiddo?”

Sam opened his door and stepped out, walking towards you in a hurry before you could even make your way over to the car. He looked down at you with.. Relief?  
Without saying anything the tall man crushed you to his chest, hugging you tightly. His left hand was cradling your head.  
“Sam?”  
You questioned. Instead of answering he planted a soft kiss on the crown of your head. You felt your cheeks warming.  
______________________________________________________________________________

“So how was your first day of school?”  
Dean asked, his eyes glued to the delicious looking pie Sam made to celebrate the occasion. 

“It was… eventful.”  
You answered, not really sure how to describe it. A plate was placed in front of you, and you took notice that the table was completely book-free. Looking around the room, everything looked pretty unusually tidy.  
“Did you make any new friends?”  
Sam asked, adding a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice to the table.

“Mm humm.”  
You you hummed, chewing the delicious pastry with eagerness.  
“A super awesome friend!” You added.  
Dean gave his brother a smug look that you couldn’t place. He turned to you.

“What’s her name?”  
He asked, shoving a mouthful down his throat.  
“It’s a boy actually.”

Dean choked on his pie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys like it! Tell me what you think :)


	6. Oh hell no!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean isn't happy about your new friend. Adorableness ensues.

“Oh hell no.”  
Dean’s sudden exclamation made you look up from your plate. His lips thinned down in a deep frown and his eyes practically caught on fire. You tilted your head to the side in confusion.

“What’s wrong?”  
You asked, not understanding where all this anger came from. If you were completely honest - he scared you a little.  
Sam gave his brother a helpless look.

“Look, Dean, they’re just kids-”  
The screech the chair made as the furious hunter stood up made you flinch. In two seconds he was in front of you and his piercing eyes were turning your whole body into a statue made out of ice. What a stupid defence strategy - turning into an ice cube when you were centimeters away from a hot oven.

“W-what?”  
You asked, or more accurately whispered. You had no idea why, but saying anything right now seemed risky. Dean was a pretty unpredictable guy, and setting him off was not something you wanted to do.

“I want to meet him.”  
Again, the man wasn’t making any sense. Meet Yuuki?  
“Dean,”  
Sam tried, but the older man simply held his hand up. 

“Umm, why?”  
You gathered the courage to ask, making an effort to keep your eyes from running someplace Dean’s gaze couldn’t reach.  
“Because I said so.”  
You didn’t know the reason he wanted to meet your new shy friend, but something told you it was a bad idea. You couldn’t allow him to scare Yuuki off. He was the first friend you made in years!  
You took a deep breath.

“No.”  
Dean’s eyes narrowed, looking a bit surprised and much, much angrier.  
“Care to repeat that?”  
His voice was low and dangerous, and you wanted nothing more than to run away and lock yourself in your room. Oh shit oh shit oh shit. Stand your ground damn it!

“I said no.”  
You flinched when his hands slammed down at your sides, gripping the arms of your chair.  
“Dean!”  
Your eyes snapped to Sam. The man seemed almost as scared as you were. 

“I-I Yuuki is important to me ok? You seem a-angry at him for some reason and I don’t want you to hurt him!”  
Dean’s expression softened just a little. He sighed in frustration before abruptly standing up. Your eyes were glued to him as he picked up his chair from the floor and set it in front of you. When he sat back down your knees were almost touching. 

“Look,”  
He started, his eyes snapping from left to right, up and down - anything to avoid looking directly into yours.  
“I won’t… hurt him. I just want to meet him.”  
You took a long look at his face. You weren’t especially good at reading Dean, but it was worth a try.  
He still seemed angry.. But also a bit.. Helpless? 

“Promise?”  
You asked, leaning a little forward as you tried to look intimidating. You heard a soft chuckle coming from Sam. You turned around to give him your best death glare, but to your annoyance, his big brother decided to join him with a quiet but very much present chuckle of his own.

“Promise.”  
______________________________________________________________________________

It was lunch break at school the next day, and you were sat in front of Yuuki, eating your sandwich and trying not to think too much about your ‘conversation’ with Dean. 

“I finished reading the manga you lended me.”  
You said. Yuuki only nodded. He seemed distracted today. He kept sneaking glances at a boy a few tables away while folding a piece paper into a complicated form that was starting to resemble a rose.  
What was that boy’s name..? Jake?

“Do you have a crush on Jake?”  
Yuuki’s hands stilled on the paper, eyes cast downwards as his cheeks turned red. You giggled. It reminded you of those two red dots Pikachu has.  
“He’s cute.”  
You confirmed after taking a long look at the guy. Your black haired friend nodded. 

“May I?”  
You asked, pointing to the origami rose.  
Instead of saying anything, Yuuki simply put the unfinished creation in the palm of your opened hand. You gave him a big smile.

“Where did you learn to make these?”  
You asked, flipping the rose around to observe it from each direction.  
“Google.”  
Of course. That was a dumb question. Yuuki cast a brief look at Jake again, who was talking to one of his friends. His eyes landed back on his rose, and he let out a defeated sigh.

“What’s wrong?”  
You asked, trying your best to understand the reason why your friend looked like he was having the worst day of his life.

“Nothing.. Do you like it?”  
You looked at your hands.  
“What, the rose?”  
Yuuki nodded again.

“Of course I like it!”  
He gave you a forced smile.

“You can have it.”  
And then he stood up, making his way to the door and then out of the class.  
______________________________________________________________________________

 

Sam and Dean were sitting in the middle of the living room, surrounded by mountains of books.  
“Damn it!”  
The giant looked up from the page he was reading.  
“What?”

Dean got up and walked around the room, unconsciously picking up a pillow from the couch and sinking his fingers into it.  
“Nothing. I just want to find this damn creature already so I can kill something.”  
Sam rolled his eyes.

“You know, a better solution would be to just buy yourself a punching bag.”

______________________________________________________________________________

For the rest of the day you couldn’t get Yuuki to talk. In fact, you could barely get anywhere near him. You wished you could tell him that you just wanted to help!

You’ve seen the way Jake looked at him when he was busy beating himself up over failed paper roses. It was ridiculous.  
When you got home after a very quiet ride in the Impala, you decided you had to find a way to get the two together.

“So… Sam?”  
You asked, diverting the hunter’s attention from the book he was holding.  
“You’re a man.”  
Dean, who was sitting across from you at the table held back a laugh.

“Interesting observation. All my life I was under the impression he was actually a woman.”

The younger Winchester had the urge to throw the book at his smug brother, but managed to hold himself back for your sake. He could tell you were tense. He waited for you to find the courage to say what you really wanted to say.

“I-I mean, as a man, how would you, uh..”  
You really didn’t know how to ask that. It was pretty damn embarrassing.  
Dean raised an eyebrow at your struggle for words. He sighed.

“Sam, I thought we went over this already. You were the one that was supposed to give her the talk.”  
Your cheeks flushed bright red.

“Please don’t!”  
They both laughed at your reaction. 

“Hey, there’s no need to be embarrassed. If you want I can kick Dean out for an hour or two so he won’t have the opportunity to make it awkward.”  
An hour or two?! You were beyond grateful your mother already filled you in on everything important.

“That’s not what I meant!”  
You squeaked. You took a deep breath to calm yourself down.

“As a man, how would you like to be… hit on?”

Two very intense gazes shackled you to your chair. Suddenly you realized that asking the brothers that wasn’t one of the brightest ideas you could've come up with.  
“Forget it.”  
You said, wishing the ground would swallow you whole.

 

“(Y\N).”  
Dean was unusually serious.  
“Yes?”

 

“Don’t ask this question until you’re at least eighteen.”  
______________________________________________________________________________

 

“Where is Dean?”  
You asked Sam after looking practically everywhere around the bunker. You couldn’t find him and had a bad feeling he was ‘hiding’ on purpose.  
“I think he’s out washing the Impala.”  
He replied, taking a sip out of his beer. There was a whole case on the table.  
Dean liked his beer.

“Wha- (Y\N) put that back!”  
Instead of listening you shoved the can into the pocket of your sweater and started running towards the garage, hoping you’d lose him on the way.  
When the sulking hunter was finally in sight you quickly approached him with your token of peace held in front of you.

Dean gazed down at you with an expression you couldn’t really decipher. He snatched the beer from your hands.

“Thanks. Now get back inside. I got work to do.”  
Ouch. You couldn’t deny that hurt. What could you do to fix whatever it is you did to upset him? Your eyes fell on the bucket of water and soaped washcloth at his side.

“Um.. I want to help.”  
You said, standing straight with determination. Dean popped open his drink and took a long gulp, making you wait. You would think he downed the whole thing with how much time it took him to answer, but finally he did.

“Be my guest.”  
You quickly got to work, not wanting to take the risk of him changing his mind. It was quiet as you picked up the washcloth and started scrabbing. You cleaned the opposite side of the car, afraid to face Dean directly just yet, but after a while there was nothing left to clean on your side. 

Your eyes wandered through the soapy windows to assert whether it was safe to step out yet, but you quickly averted them away when the hunter sprayed off the window he was washing and caught your hesitant gaze. He didn't say anything though. You sighed in relief.

Suddenly you had the idea to wash the roof of the car. That way you wouldn’t have to actually face him.

You reached your hand up as high as you could and started scrubbing again, only you were too short to get the spots you really needed to reach. Determined, you stood on the tip of your toes, and when that didn’t do much you started jumping up and down.  
All of a sudden two strong hands picked you up from under your armpits.

“D-Dean!”  
You yelped, your hands and legs flailing around at the loss of the ground beneath your feet.  
“Stop struggling, will you? Can you reach it or not?”  
You took a few seconds to calm down before you answered.

“I can.”

You scrabbed everywhere within your reach, and whenever Dean saw you struggling he steered you closer to where you needed to be.  
It was weird. After all, you knew he could easily clean the roof of the Impala himself, being much much taller than you were. Instead though, he chose to maneuver you around in the air and you had to wonder if his arms weren’t getting tired.The whole thing wasn’t very practical. Luckily, you knew how to get things done.

“There!”  
You exclaimed proudly. Everything was sparkling clean.  
“Just like it’s new!”  
Dean set you down on the hood in front of him, and you looked at him in confusion. 

“(Y\N)..”  
He started, trying to find the right words.  
“What?”  
He took a pause to organize the thoughts in his head. 

“Sorry I was being a jerk since yesterday. I’m not angry at you. I’m just.. Worried.”

“Worried?”  
Did he think Yuuki hurt you or something? You tilted your head to the side, something you found yourself doing a lot lately. 

“Yes, worried. I saw that origami rose you kept messing with when we were eating. I know you didn’t make it.”  
This was getting more and more confusing to you.  
Dean pinched the bridge of his nose.

“This new friend of yours. Yu-gi-oh or whatever, did he make a move on you? Cos I’m gonna say this right now, you are only fourteen (Y\N), tell him he should come back in like, at least four years, and if he doesn’t wanna listen, well then -”

“Wow wow, what?!”  
Your cheeks were the color of the tomato sauce Sam made for the pasta at lunch. You and Yuuki?!

“We’re just friends!”  
Dean gave you a suspicious look. The force of it made you very, very uncomfortable.

“You sure, because then why would he give you that origami rose? Unless there’s someone else?”

He was getting more and more agitated by the minute. You could practically see the thoughts running through his head.  
It was almost sad how completely wrong he was though. You were never too lucky when it came to catching the opposite sex’s attention. Sure, you were young. And sure, part of it was just you hiding inside your shell, but this was the last thing he had to worry about.

“Damn it Dean, first day at school and I already got someone basically telling me that I’m flat as a board. I’m not exactly popular with the guys ok?”  
That got his attention. Fast.

“What’s their name?”  
It was then that you realized that Dean had, over years of fighting evil, mastered a look that could pretty much kill. You were just lucky it wasn’t aimed at you.  
If the whole myth about sneezing when someone was thinking about you was true, then you could only imagine that the bullies were gonna be stuck sick in their beds for the next few centuries. 

“I-I don’t know.”  
You hated how squeaky you sounded. With a finger under your chin he forced your eyes to his own. He did NOT believe you. That much was certain. 

“I swear! I don’t know, ok? Miss Green took care of them before I could ask.”

He narrowed his eyes, still holding your head in place. Your legs were tapping against the metal of the car, trying to relieve the tension your body was trying desperately to fight off.  
Finally, his hand retreated to his side, allowing you to focus on something somewhere in the distance and catch up on some much needed breathing.

“If they bother you again, you tell me. Ok?”

 

You could only nod your head quickly, too nervous to actually speak.

“Good.”  
With that your conversation was finished. He surprised you again when instead of letting you jump off the hood of the Impala, he tightened his hands around your waist and set you on the ground himself.  
Before you could run off back inside though, he added -  
“We will still have your new friend over for dinner.”  
It wasn’t like you could argue. His voice was final. No room for discussion. 

“Fine.”  
______________________________________________________________________________

 

It was late at night and Sam was sitting by the big wooden table in the ‘living room’, his hand softly turning a page in his book.  
He knew sooner or later they would have to break the news to (Y\N). It wasn’t fair to leave her out of it.  
He would have done so already if it weren’t for Dean, who was hell bent on taking the whole thing to his grave.  
Problem was - if they didn’t do anything soon, they might all find their graves way sooner than they’d hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one turned out to be shorter than I meant it to, but I'm gonna make it a rule to always make up for it with a longer chapter later.  
> Hope you guys enjoyed! It's a whole lot of fun reading and responding to your comments, so keep it coming! I'd love to hear your thoughts :)


	7. No idea what to call this one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So... It starts out weird, and ends kind of angsty. You'll see.

You woke up to the sound of something breaking on the floor. You jumped up, completely awake and alert, your hands grabbing at the sheets. With all of the frequent secretive talks between the brothers, you were now always on edge. 

Just as Dean had instructed you to do in case of danger, you quickly picked up the closest solid object you could find and tip toed through the hallway, your shoulders tense and your hands ready to smack whatever it was that made the suspicious crushing sound.  
You stopped when you were close enough to peek over the corner into the living room. You couldn’t bring yourself to do it though.

“Stop!”  
Sam’s terrorized scream almost made your heart stop working. At that moment, you didn’t care if it was a monster, a demon or Satan himself who was threatening him like that - you were gonna protect him.  
You jumped out from behind the corner, lamp held high above your head and ready to strike, when your eyes fell upon the absolute last thing you expected to find.

Sam was backed up in his chair beside the table, almost far enough to knock it to the ground, and a woman with straight blond hair was sitting in his lap, trying to push her lips onto his own. He obviously didn’t like what she was doing, but she only pushed herself further into his chest.  
You were frozen in shock as you watched her boldly unbutton his plaid shirt, her fingers pulling it back to reveal skin underneath.

Oh god.  
Your head snapped around, desperately scanning the rest of the room for Dean, but unfortunately the guy was nowhere to be found. Maybe he went on a supply run or something. Quite a timing the guy had.  
What were you supposed to do?! He never prepared you for this kind of situation!

“G-get off!”  
Sam looked miserable fighting the girl’s hands off his chest. Panicked.  
Without thinking you stepped around the corner into the room. You hoped your presence would somehow stop everything, but it seemed that neither of them noticed you standing there. You took a deep breath and did the only thing you could think of.

“Rape! Rape!”  
You screamed, cheeks blazing red as you waved your lamp threatenly in the air.  
Two pairs of eyes snapped to you - one set of surprised blue ones, and another set of hazel ones that were the definition of pure relief.  
The blond stilled her hand over one of Sam’s buttons. In her state of confusion he managed to untangle himself from her and push her off his body. He quickly stood up and buttoned up his shirt.

“Sam.. Who is that?”  
The girl asked the exact same question you wanted to ask.  
You watched as sam made his way over to you, and you widened your eyes when instead of stopping in front of you, he quickly hid behind your back. If you weren’t currently so on edge you would have laughed. He was like a kid hiding behind a potted plant. Not only were you too small to hide him, but you were pretty sure he was too huge to take cover behind almost anything or anyone.  
Nevertheless you unconsciously inched back to him a little in a protective stance.

“(Y\N)”  
He finally answered the strange girl, placing a hand on your shoulder and giving it a little squeeze. His way of telling you ‘thank you’.  
The blonde eyed you up and down with her eyes wide open. It seemed like her eyes were always like that though. She had really crazy eyes. You suddenly had the urge to switch places with Sam.

“(Y\N)..”  
Your name rolled out of her lips in a way that made you flinch.  
“You weren’t in the books…”  
Her mouth formed a tiny puzzled frown. You were way more confused than her though. Of that you were sure. 

“(Y\N), this is Becky.”  
Sam informed you. Like it was supposed to clear everything out. You always thought names were over-rated. So what if her name was Becky? You didn’t see her name written under the definition for ‘Crazy’.

“Umm.. Becky.. What were you doing to Sam?”  
Said man tensed up behind you. You had to ask though. Was she really trying to rape him?! I mean, he was clearly not consenting to… whatever it was she was trying to do to him.  
Becky straightened up and cleared her throat. Apparently even she was feeling the awkwardness that the room was engulfed in.

“I was.. WE were..”  
Her eyes snapped to Sam, but whatever help she was looking for in his eyes - he refused to give it to her. She cleared her throat again, making up a couple of fake coughs in hopes of buying herself some time. At least until she’d figure out what to say. In the end though, the only answer you got was a cringe worthy -  
“Adult things.”  
How were you supposed to answer to that?

“Well, could you please hold back from doing anymore.. ‘Adult things’ to Sam?”  
You glanced up at his face, noticing the familiar crease above his eyebrows form as he switched weight from leg to leg.  
“I don’t think he likes it.”  
You finished. Again you felt him squeeze your shoulder.  
Becky didn’t answer. She just kept staring at you. The room was now so quiet you were afraid to breath.

“Guys I’m back! Give me a hand with the groceries would ya?”  
Dean’s voice broke through the silence like a phone ringing in the middle of a classroom.  
You couldn’t see his face because he was holding a large supermarket bag in front of him. As a result, he couldn’t see Sam, Becky or you either and was getting annoyed at the fact that no one was returning his call.

“Sam! I know you’re there! Get your ass over here and help me with the damn bags!”

You put down the lamp you were still holding on the ground and nudged Sam’s arm, signaling him to follow you.  
You quickly climbed up the stairs, picking up a bag that was laying at Dean’s side.  
Now that Dean could actually see you, he gave you a small smile.  
“Try the other one kiddo. This one could be a bit heavy for you.”  
You did as he asked.

“Sam! Help us out would you?”  
He yelled again.  
Sam grabbed the bag you picked up before, easily adding a second and a third to it. You looked up at him with awe.  
Dean made his way towards the middle of the room. As soon as he laid down his own bag on the table, he noticed their visitor.

“Becky?!”  
He exclaimed in surprise. By the way he was looking at her he was definitely not very fond of her His eyes snapped to his not so little brother. 

“I don’t know man! I was just drinking my coffee when she barged in from the door!”  
Becky interrupted the argument the brothers were having (through looks alone, mind you), when she stepped out in front of Dean with an angry expression on her face.

“For your information, I’m here for a reason.”  
Dean rolled his eyes as he took your place in standing in front of Sam.  
“Yeah, to molest my baby brother. Didn’t he make it clear to you already that he didn’t want to see you again?”  
Becky looked almost hurt.

“Well, I was getting to the important part before I was interrupted..”  
Dean looked at you with a raised brow, and you shook your head frantically, your cheeks heating up. Realization took over his eyes before he turned to glare at Becky.

“Son of a- seriously?! In front of the kid?”  
All of a sudden you were pushed behind his back to join Sam, who gently pulled you towards his chest.  
“I didn’t know she was there!”  
Becky defended herself. She sent you a quick apologetic look, which you found bazar. She didn’t feel bad for basically raping Sam. She felt bad that you caught her doing it.

“Whatever. Why are you here then?”  
Dean growled in annoyance. He wasn’t treating her as a threat. Not exactly at least. Not in a way he treated a demon or some other type of monster. He just looked at her the way he looked at a bug he wanted to crush. 

Becky took a deep, animated breath to calm herself down. She put on an exaggerated serious look.  
“Chuck sent me.”  
Her eyes were closed in concentration for some reason. You had a feeling it was just a part of her over-the-top personality.  
Nevertheless, she got both of the brothers attention.

“What did he say?”  
Sam, who was quiet the whole time asked, his voice genuinely serious.  
“He said,”  
She took a step closer to Dean.

“The shapeshifter you are looking for is close.”

 

The room went quiet again, and then it clicked. The reason they were so cautious around you the last couple of days. Why they were even more careful than usual not to accidentally let something they didn’t want you to know slip out. Why you were not even allowed out of your room when they were discussing their recent case.  
It had to do with you. Shapeshifters. It HAD to do with you.

You looked up at Sam with betrayal in your eyes. How could they hide something like that from you?  
You pushed the arms around you away and put some distance between you and the brothers. Both looked down at you with surprise.

“(Y\N)?”  
Sam asked. You lowered your head towards the floor. Everything felt cold. Lonely. It didn’t matter that they were standing right beside you. What mattered was that they still didn’t treat you as an equal. They still didn’t think you had the right to know. These were things that had to do with you, and they still didn’t think you had the right to know!

“How could you?”  
Your voice was barely above whisper. Sam looked at you with guilt in his eyes. Dean however, his expression didn’t show even a tiny bit of remorse. He honestly didn’t consider what he did to be wrong.

“I’m going out.”  
You announced, your eyes locked on the door as you walked fast pass them. A strong hand however stopped you from going any further.

“(Y\N).”  
Dean said your name firmly. You tried to wiggle free from his hold, but he only tightened his hand around your arm, his rough fingers digging into your skin.

“Let go!”  
You yelled, fighting to get loose even more than before. You needed to think. You needed to find a reason in the back of your mind as to why the brothers would want to hide something like that from you. You needed to be alone, outside, where neither of them could reach you. Dean’s hand wasn’t budging though, and you noticed painfully that he was only holding you even more firmly than before.

Through your now teary eyes you could see Becky observing the whole thing, looking at you with an expression of shock on her face. Sam wasn’t doing anything to stop his brother, and you hated them both at the moment. You felt like you were resembling a hysterical child crying to their parents about not getting a snack in the middle of a supermarket, with everyone staring and shaking their heads at the embarrassing tantrum.  
Only it wasn’t that you were throwing a tantrum. You had perfect reasons for the way you acted.

“Dean!”  
You yelled again in frustration, tears streaming down your cheeks. It was humiliating, and too familiar.  
Just like it used to be at home.  
You fought against his grip again, pushing at his hand. Finally, it seemed he had enough. He picked you up and threw you over his shoulder.

“You are not going anywhere.”  
He said calmly. It was such a contrast to the panic that went through you that you let out a loud, frustrated scream.  
Becky seemed to inch further and further away from the two of you, making way for Dean as he made his way to your room. Sam followed quietly behind. He tried to reach a hand to wipe away your tears but you slapped it away as you kicked at Dean’s back.

“Put me down!”  
You sobbed, your whole body shaking.  
“In a sec’.”  
You understood what he meant when he placed you on your bed. You quickly got up to run away, but he was quicker than you, and before you could do anything about it he was out of the room with the door closed in your face.  
You screamed and punched it when you heard the clicking sound that signaled he locked it.

“Open it!”  
To your horror you heard footsteps slowly retreating from the door.  
“Dean!”  
Your voice was desperate and so were your hands that were still punching the door in front of you. You slid down to the floor when the sound of the footsteps completely disappeared. 

They just left.  
______________________________________________________________________________

“You sure it was a good idea?”  
Dean looked at his brother and sighed. They had managed to get rid of Becky a couple of hours ago, and were now sitting across from each other at the table, contemplating their next move.

“You heard what crazy eyes said. The bastard is close. Letting her take a walk isn’t exactly safe.”  
Sam covered his forehead with his palm, every once in a while running his fingers through his hair.

“Obviously. That’s not what I meant.”  
Dean looked at him with one of his familiar poker faces. Looking clueless and innocent.

“Dean, we locked her in her room. While she was crying and screaming. After she just found out that she might still be in danger.”  
The poker face still stuck. Not going anywhere apparently, because this was Dean’s messed up way of dealing with things.

“She’s not in danger. She’s got us.”

 

“Right.”  
______________________________________________________________________________

It’s been three hours - way into the night. From the silence that the bunker was set in, you guessed the brothers were already asleep.  
Perfect.  
You grinned proudly at your work. Being a fan of crime thrillers payed off. Who would have thought there were instructional videos for this kind of thing all over Youtube?  
You tucked your bobby-pin back into your hair and quietly opened the door. You didn’t care that it was late and you had no idea where to go. You weren’t afraid of the dark!  
______________________________________________________________________________

 

(Y\N)’s small form slipped out of the bunker.

“Seems like it’s your lucky day, Jake.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Already working on the next one. Sorry not sorry for the cliffhanger. What do you guys think?  
> Also just a side note I finished this at about 4 in the morning, all in one go because I didn't like the way my first couple of pages turned out, so if it seems a bit rushed I'm sorry.  
> Another side note - it is now 8:24 in the morning and I didn't get one hour of sleep because I stupidly drank three cups of coffee to stay awake and finish this chapter. Yup. I'm quite obviously a fucking genius.


	8. Things... escalate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The brothers wake up and don't see (Y\N) anywhere. (Y\N) wakes up and well...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised you guys a long chapter, so here you go!  
> Hope you like it! Tell me what you think in the comments :)

You woke up in a dark, empty room with gray walls and no windows. You had no memory of how you got there, but from the way ropes were cutting into your wrists, you obviously had some help. You tried pulling at them to get away, but it only made it more painful.  
Your heart felt like it was beating a million times a minute.

Depending on how long you were out, the brothers might not even notice you’re gone yet.  
Immediately regret started setting in your belly, mixing with the fear that was pressing the air out of your lungs.  
You should have just stayed in your room, but no. Instead you thought it was a good idea to sneak out when you knew there was a monster out there just looking for the right time to pounce.

Suddenly a door opened in front of you, letting distinctive early morning light into the room. You had to shut your eyes for a few seconds to let them adjust.  
The figure started closing in on you, and you backed up into the wall like a cornered animal caught in a hunter’s trap.

“Stay away from me!”  
The light still interfered with your sight, so you could only see your blurry captor squatting down, before a plate was placed in your lap. He then retreated to the other side of the room, locked the door behind him, and sat down on the floor with his back to you.

Now that no piercing light was shining in your eyes, you could see the Peanut butter and Jelly sandwich that was sitting in the plate, looking so out of place in the scary room.  
Not exactly what mean ass monsters fed their prisoners.  
You stared ahead at the guy in front of you. You had to admit he wasn’t matching your imaginary monster description at all. He was thin and small, and it was hard to tell with his back to you - but he seemed like he couldn’t be any older than you.

“H-hello?”  
You stuttered, scared that you might have gotten it wrong. The guy didn’t answer. He just kept sitting there in silence.

“What do you want from me?”  
Again, no answer.  
______________________________________________________________________________

“(Y\N)! This isn’t funny, come out right now!”  
Dean’s loud voice awoke Sam from his slumber. He shot up in his bed.  
There was a whole lot of noise being made as his frantic brother searched the bunker. Doors slamming, stuff being thrown around, heavy footsteps practically vibrating the floor.

“Dean what’s wrong?”  
Sam asked, quickly walking through the hallway, skipping across a thrown lamp here and a pink sweater there. There was mess everywhere.

“I can’t find (Y\N)!”  
He exclaimed, panic merging into his usual tired morning slur.  
“What do you mean you can’t find her? You locked her in her room last night!”  
Sam’s voice echoed in the hallway. Dean followed it until he met with the very sleepy, very confused giant. He run his fingers through his short hair in frustration.

“She must have picked the lock or something, I don’t know! I went to check on her and the door was already open. No sign of her anywhere!”

The younger Winchester was slowly catching on, a sick sensation climbing up his throat. Oh no. Oh no no no.

“Are you sure?”  
He said, picking up the pink sweater at his feet and bringing it close to his chest. He was holding on to the last bit of hope he had.

“Yes I’m sure! You even listening?! She’s gone!”  
The more he was panicking, the harsher the things he was whispering to himself got.  
‘Should have known. Knew she was smart. Should have made her sit down and talk.’  
He clutched his head in his hands.  
‘I’m so stupid. It’s all my fault. All my fault.’

“Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get into the Impala.”  
Sam yelled, breaking the cycle of self beating Dean was creating. They couldn’t afford that right now.

“And go where?!”  
He snapped, eyes desperately looking for answers, solutions in his brother’s face.

“We’re going to stay calm, look around the neighborhood while trying to reach Cas. Maybe he can track her down.”  
Sam’s plan didn’t seem like a lot, but it was everything they had at the moment.  
______________________________________________________________________________

 

After a few hours of your stomach making embarrassingly loud growling noises in the quiet room, you finally gave up and took a bite out of your sandwich with your teeth. It was difficult not being able to use your hands, but you managed. It tasted really good.  
You looked up in front of you at your strange kidnapper again. What a weird situation you were in. Honestly, despite your mind telling you how much trouble you got yourself into, you found yourself unusually calm.  
Maybe because there was something familiar about the guy, or maybe because he made you a PB&J sandwich instead of throwing you some moldy piece of bread. You didn’t know really.You just had the feeling that he wouldn’t actually hurt you. Well, at least he had plenty of time to do so if he wished to, but he didn’t budge from his spot on the floor for the last couple of hours.

Suddenly the door opened, and in stepped a muscular, scary looking man. In two seconds the guy who was guarding you until now stood up straight in attention.  
The huge dude made you freeze in your spot, not that you could go anywhere anyways. Now this guy - he was definitely out to hurt you.  
You wearily watched as his tall frame cast you in shadow in the room that was already dark enough. You had the urge to call out to Sam and Dean, but you knew they wouldn’t hear you.

“I see you already had your breakfast.”  
He stated, smirking creepily at the empty plate in your lap.  
“What do you want from me?”  
The man advanced towards you and tears started streaming down your eyes.

“Stay away from me you creep!”  
You screamed, fighting against the ropes again. Instead of stopping he leaned down to your level, and your breath caught when his face was only centimeters away from yours. You shut your eyes tightly and tried to push your head further into the wall as you awaited god knows what he was going to do to you.  
Your whole body tensed when he reached his hand over to your lap. You waited a little with your eyes shut closed, but nothing happened. When you opened them you saw him walking away with your plate in his hand.

“Keep an eye out. The girl is quite… valuable to the boss, and it seems those damn Winchesters practically adopted her.”  
Before closing the door he added -

“You don’t know what they’re capable of.”  
_____________________________________________________________________________

“I’m going to kill him!”  
Dean was gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles were turning white. The Winchesters have been driving around for hours and hours, speeding the whole time like policemen chasing after a serial killer on the loose. 

“Dean, we don’t even know what he looks like! Or if he’s even a he!”  
Sam yelled, throwing his hands in the air in frustration. Even at the speed he was driving, Dean still managed to slip his brother a death glare in the rear view mirror.  
“I’m just being realistic man, I mean, up until now we haven’t crossed the guy face to face even once!”  
Dean slammed his hands on the wheel with force he only ever used when he was fighting a monster or a demon.

“Well I’m not gonna sit around doing nothing damn it!”  
“Then what do you suggest we do? Huh?”  
Sam barked back. The last couple of hours have drained every bit of his energy away.  
Dean finally quieted down for a couple of minutes. He stared forward, scanning the distance in hope that (Y\N)’s sweet little face would pop out from under the headlights of the car.  
He barely managed to slow down when a stoplight appeared. He didn’t want to slow down. He wanted to find her and he wanted to find her NOW.

The bright red light however had other plans, and so did Cas, wherever the heck he was right now.  
With poison brewing at the bottom of his stomach and the urge to puke all of it’s contents out however, he had to settle down. All of the anger and the panic wasn’t helping anything.  
Now that the car was forced into a stop, he had a chance to look at the younger hunter. Maybe in those years away in Stanford Sam figured out the cure for the sick feeling that was overtaking him. 

He noted how unusually defeated his little brother looked. Almost like his heart just lost a grave battle with his brain. Knowing him and knowing him well, he figured he must have already thoroughly laid out all the possible moves. Tried countless strategies. The look in his eyes told him he only got to one result - Losing her.  
Time to be the big brother again.

“We’re going to get her back.”

______________________________________________________________________________

 

You didn’t know how long you’ve been there, sat in the same position with hope slowly starting to waver away.  
Since the room had no windows you couldn’t tell if it was day or night, but according to the plastic plates piled up at your side, you were entering your third day of being kidnapped. 

7 plates. PB&J sandwiches were suddenly not very appealing anymore, but it was all you got.  
You missed Sam and Dean. It was so lonely in that tiny room, and any attempts to get your capturar to talk have failed. You couldn’t even see his face. In fact, one time when he was handing you a bottle of water you noticed that his face was hidden behind a golf mask. The more the time passed, the more your eyes got used to the darkness, and the more your confusion grew at seeing a scary mask on the body of what looked like a fourteen year old.

“Hey,”  
You tried for what felt like the one hundredth time. You were again met with silence. The kidnapper in front of you stayed sat at the exact same spot. You were done trying. It was completely useless.

“I’m sorry.”  
You jumped up at the sudden soft voice. It was weirdly familiar..  
Even though this moment has been something you’ve been eagerly waiting for all this time, you couldn’t find anything to reply with. It was like your lips momentarily forgot how to open and close. You forgot how to speak.

The room was once again quiet as neither of you said a thing.  
All of a sudden you heard sniffing - like your kidnapper was trying hard not to cry. Eventually though it appeared he couldn’t hold it in any longer and the sniffing turned into shortened breaths accompanied by violent shaking you could just barely make out in the dark.  
It finally hit you.

“Jake?!”  
You exclaimed. No. It can’t be. Why would he kidnap you? For what purpose?  
The crying only became worse as the boy threw off his golf mask in frustration.  
“Jake!”  
You yelled again, only this time with more determination to get an answer for your bizarre situation. What the hell was going on?  
Jake didn’t answer, he just got up and walked around the room with his hands clutching his forehead. He kept mumbling ‘I’m sorry’ again and again as he kicked around some of the empty water bottles that were collected in the last couple of days. 

“Am I not doing the right thing?”  
He whispered to himself, looking up at the ceiling as if he was seeking an answer from something up above. He shut his eyes tightly and scratched absentmindedly at his arm, cutting into his skin and only realizing what he was doing when he opened them again to see blood.

“Why do I need to choose, huh?! You disgusting piece of - of-”  
Instead of finishing the sentence he picked up a plastic bottle and squashed it between his fingers.  
An animalistic growl flew out from between his teeth before he could stop it.

“Jake.”  
You said. This time calmly, or at least you tried to make it seem calm. He seemed to be so overwhelmed with emotions that you were scared of what might happen if you accidentally said the wrong thing. Was this really the guy Yuuki had a crush on?

Jake took a quick look at you before collapsing on the floor to a sitting position where he could hide his head behind his knees.  
“I had too, I have too!”  
The whispering continued for a couple more minutes, with the key words being thrown around being “For mom.”  
“Jake-”  
You started again, but the crying boy cut you off.

“Jake Jake Jake! Is that all you know how to say?!”  
Your stomach ran to your back and your back ran to the wall, and all of you wanted to break out of that wall, run to Sam and Dean and cry until one of them felt bad and made you some pancakes with smilies made out of syrup drawn on top.  
Jake was seriously scaring you now. No strategies of yours were working, a way out wasn’t presenting itself and you were stuck in a tiny, dark room with someone who could potentially be a psychopath. 

You didn’t even notice that you were shivering and fidgeting around until Yuuki’s origami rose fell out of the pocket of your sweater. You didn’t even remember carrying it around with you.

“Is that…?”  
Jake was staring at the rose with a weird mixture of wonder and hurt. His hand reached towards it, getting unsettlingly close to your ‘territory’. Your safe ground. For a moment there you thought he was going to do something to you. Hurt you, but then he pulled his hands back and held Yuuki’s rose between his fingers. He looked at it and touched it like it was a real rose - fragile and beautiful.  
A small bit of blood dripped down his arm and he let go of it immediately, as if the thought of it getting dirty was making him sick.  
He slid back, putting space between you again, or more accurately - between him and the rose.  
His eyes slowly made their way up to settle on your own.  
______________________________________________________________________________

The only thing holding Dean together was his little brother, and the only thing holding Sam together was his older brother.  
They were both emotionally exhausted. Drained. They have ‘questioned’ demons, contacted other hunters, drove around in the Impala, and yet the picture wasn’t getting any clearer. (Y\N) was still nowhere to be found.  
Sam got back inside the car, slamming the door after him.  
“There.”  
He said, his big hands holding his brother’s favorite - pie, in front of him. Dean took one longing look at it before turning his head in the other direction.

“Damn it Dean! I know somewhere in your twisted head you think starving is in some way or form helpful, but you gotta eat!”  
Oh but he couldn’t. Stopping by the local coffee shop felt like a sin. Here he was, about to eat a delicious apple pie while their girl was somewhere, scared, and being given who knows what to eat. If she was even fed anything at all. What if she was starving these three past days while they were getting nowhere near to finding her? What if-  
Sam shoved the pie into his brother’s lap.

“Eat.”  
He ordered again, this time not giving him a choice. Dean slowly picked up the pastry. Sam waited until he took his first bite before pulling out his own sandwich.

“Did you try Cas again?”  
Dean gave his brother a look that screamed ‘Are you seriously asking that right now?!’ While munching on his sweet treat.  
Sam held his hands up in defence.  
“Just checking..”  
All of a sudden a flutter of wings was heard.

“Cas!”  
Both brothers turned their heads towards the angel sitting at the back seat, only… 

“Gabriel?!”  
Dean exclaimed.  
The trickster gave them one of his trademark grins.

“The one and only.”  
______________________________________________________________________________

Jake was still staring at you, and the most horrifying thing about the whole situation was the fact that you had absolutely no idea what was going through his head. On top of that, seeing in the darkness wasn’t very easy either.

“Umm.. “  
You mumbled, not knowing what to say. Jake finally left your eyes alone and decided that it was apparently safer to bury them in the floor beneath him. 

“I’m sorry..”  
That again? What was up with him?!  
“Why are you apologizing?”  
Jake looked at you with surprise, and you quickly added -  
“I mean, not that what you’re doing isn’t wrong. Like, really wrong, but,”  
You looked at his face, and then at the golf mask thrown at the other side of the room.

“Are you regretting kidnapping me?”  
Jake looked away from your searching eyes. He almost resembled a little kid being scolded.  
“Why did you kidnap me in the first place?”  
That was what you really wanted to know.

“I had to.”  
He whispered. His face was buried in his knees again and the words were muffled into his jeans, but you still heard them clearly.

“Why?”  
You asked, now even more confused than before. Jake shook as he gripped his top tightly.

“He said he could fix mom.”  
The wheels were slowly starting to turn in your head. Being around the Winchesters taught you a thing or two about the supernatural, even if they meant to keep you away from it.

“He?”  
The boy nodded. A couple of stray tears slid down his cheeks onto his bloody arm.

“The one who gives the orders.”  
______________________________________________________________________________

“So you’re saying you know where she is?”  
Sam asked, not really believing what he was hearing.  
“Well, yes. You might say that.”  
And yet he was still sitting there. Dean grabbed Gabriel by his shirt.

“Well then what are you waiting for?! Zap your ass over there and take us with you while you’re at it! We don’t have time to chat alright? We need to go. NOW!”

 

“Wow there cowboy, I know you’re beyond ready to jump on that horse, but the horse you’re planning to ride this time is me, and even I have my standards. I mean, at least buy me a drink first. “  
Both brothers glared at the angel so hard he actually started getting uncomfortable. He, the great trickster, was getting uncomfortable.

“Look, all I’m saying is, I don’t work for free. You want your girl back, you’re gonna need to do some stuff for me in exchange.”  
Dean sighed in annoyance.  
“Fine, whatever you need, just Zap us over there already!”  
Gabriel used his closed proximity to Dean as an advantage and looked him straight in the eye. All humor was wiped clean from his face.  
“You give me your word?”

“Yes.”  
______________________________________________________________________________

“Who gives you the orders?”  
Jake opened his mouth to answer, but then all of a sudden his expression changed. His eyes were wide open and staring at nothing in particular, and his body posture became so stiff that it looked like he was turning into a statue. 

“No..”  
He mumbled.  
“No no no no..”  
He shot up from his spot on the floor, and you looked wearily as he clutched at his head again.

“Please don’t make me do this!”  
He screamed to the ceiling, his voice hoarse from crying.  
“Jake?”  
You immediately regretted calling his name when he turned to you. Your first assumption about him not being able to hurt you was quickly starting to seem ridiculous.  
Especially when he pulled out a knife.

“W-what are you doing?”  
Jake took a measured step in your direction.

“Stay away from me!”  
He was in on you before you could scream anything else. He tore your shirt apart and the very sharp weapon was now only centimeters away from your skin.

“(Y\N)!”  
Dean?!  
Sharp pain made you scream out loud. The blade was making weird carvings in your flesh, and all you could hear was muffled screaming from behind the door, and those same two words again.  
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry… I’m so-”  
______________________________________________________________________________

Sam and Dean were bashing their shoulders against the locked door with all they had.

“(Y\N)! We’re coming, we’re gonna get to you kiddo I promise!”  
Ear piercing screams came from the other side to answer. Blood chilling screams.  
Dean’s voice was shaky, but it didn’t stop him from yelling back reassuring things. Hoping that it would reach her. Hoping that he could ease some of her pain until they managed to knock the door down.

It was all his fault. He locked her in her room. He was the one who didn’t keep an eye on her. He was the one who woke up too late, too fucking late to see her sneak out!  
“Hang in there baby, ok? We’re almost there!”  
All of a sudden everything went quiet in the other room.

“(Y\N)...?”  
Sam’s heart was beating a million times per second and Dean’s seemed to have stopped working all together.  
“Kiddo?”  
Complete and utter silence. He couldn’t believe he was actually thinking that, but the long haired hunter actually preferred the terrified screaming over this.  
Dean’s hands were dangling at his sides uselessly. Was she…?  
All of a sudden the door cracked open.

Sam’s breath was caught in his throat.

“(Y\N)!”  
The girl was lying in Gabriel’s arms, covered in the vest he was wearing before, and there was blood - a whole lot of it, and it was dripping down to the floor. With every drop that hit the ground Dean died a little inside.

“Damn it Gabriel! Do something!”  
Without saying anything the angel simply removed the vest from (Y\N)’s chest, revealing already healed, seemingly untouched skin. The blood was still left there from the attack, but it seemed she was ok.  
Sam snatched her from Gabriel’s hands in less than a second, holding her close to his heart and cradling the back of her head with his big hand. 

“She fainted when he was carving some kind symbol on her chest.”  
‘He’. Dean looked at (Y\N)’s unusually white face and then at the door. Anger was not a good enough word to describe what he was feeling right now.  
Then again, so was relief.

“Did you deal with ‘him’?”  
A simple question.  
“Yes.”  
A simple answer. That’s all he needed.  
Dean grabbed the girl away from his brother, who gave him a look that reminded him of the way he used to act when he stole a toy he liked from him when they were little.

“Well, I believe my work is done here.”  
Gabriel announced.

“I’ll be keeping in touch.  
______________________________________________________________________________

 

You woke up to the sound of someone talking. Dean! Oh god you were ok, they found you!  
Tears started streaming down your cheeks as you slowly opened your eyes. Through your blurry vision you could see Dean’s face hovering above yours. Now that you were actually thinking about it - you weren’t in bed or on the sofa (Well, technically anyways). You were laying in Dean’s lap.  
Soft fingers brushed the wetness away from your face.

“Shhh.. You’re ok baby girl. You’re safe.”  
His familiar voice only made it worse for you. Three days. Three ENTIRE days you didn’t hear his voice.  
Without wasting a second you shot up, almost bumping your head into his. You wrapped your arms around his neck and held on as tightly as you could.

“Dean!”

Soon another familiar figure stepped into view. There was only one person you knew who could tower over you that much, and a Winchester wasn’t one without the other.

“How’re you feeling girl?”

Soon the giant took his place on the sofa beside his brother. He ruffled your hair like he always did, and you cried even louder than before. 

“Sam!”

 

Instead of saying anything the guy just placed a long lasting kiss on your forehead.  
The next couple of minutes were a blur. There were huggs and there were tears, there was a whole lot of the boys trying to calm you down, and finally there was just you breathing evenly again as you snuggled deep into Dean’s shirt, which you were sure you ruined with all the crying.

“(Y\N)?”

You looked up at Dean as his voice vibrated your head.

“Yes?”  
Apparently just looking up at him wasn’t enough, because all of a sudden two strong hands were wrapped under your armpits and you were sat down directly in front of his face. His super duper serious face, you noticed.

“If you ever do something like that again, I’m not letting you out of your room for a month, and this time there’s no way in hell you’re getting out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just little side note - It is once again after 4:00 in the morning and I did most of it in one go, so if it seems a bit rushed tell me and I'll go over everything and fix what I can. I know there was a whole lot going on in this chapter, but rest assured it all ties up in the end.


	9. It may sound absurd, but don't be naive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You try to convince the Winchesters to let you go to a party.  
> Without revealing too much - this isn't exactly an easy task.

“Why?”  
You swayed your legs back and forth, sitting on the kitchen counter while Dean worked on his coffee. It was either the fourth or fifth time you asked that this Sunday morning. You weren’t sure.

“(Y\N), you’re not going to the party and that’s final.”  
You pressed your lips in a pout and gave the grumpy hunter the best puppy eyes you could master. The only person who could have done it better would have been Sam.  
Instead of paying you any attention however, Dean simply swirled his teaspoon in his coffee, stirring much longer than he needed too, just to avoid your pleading gaze.  
You huffed in annoyance and slid off the counter.

“Deaaan…!”  
You whined, your voice loud and obnoxious as you pulled out a chair from beside the table and plopped down with a thud.

“No means no.”  
You stared at his stubborn back as he pulled out a second mug for Sam.  
You really wanted to go to that party. The brothers kept you inside the bunker almost all the time now. They’d drop you off at school in the mornings and you could practically feel their stare at your back as you entered through the gate. When school ended they’d be much quicker at spotting you and hurrying you over to the Impala and when you’d get back to the bunker that was it.  
No more going out.  
They wouldn’t even let you go over to Yuuki’s house, although Dean still insisted on having him over for dinner instead. You worried too much for your shy little friend to invite him over yet though, so for now you settled on hoping he’d forget about it. Not that you had much hope for that though. Besides, the whole thing with Jake was still fresh in your mind, and you didn’t want to have to lie about why he was missing school for the last whole week and pretend nothing happened.

Sam emerged through the kitchen’s entrance dressed in a loose t-shirt and his navy blue pajama pants, yawning as he took a seat next to you.  
Perfect.  
“Sam tell him!”  
Dean placed a second cup of boiling coffee on the table and gave you a disapproving look, before sitting in front of you. In return you just shot him a quick, but deadly glare. Well, ‘deadly’ was your way of calling it at least. Dean would probably disagree.

“Too tired.”  
Sam slurred, and you felt your eyelids getting heavier just by the way he sounded.  
The elder brother gave you a victorious smirk as he patted the sleepy giant on the back. Sam just took a sip of his coffee.

“Why are you taking his side?”  
Guilt tripping was one of the only things that really got to Sam. It wasn’t a card you normally wanted to play, but this time it was for a worthy cause! That Olivia Buckner girl was pretty famous for throwing awesome parties, and you have never been to a proper one before. Your parents would never let you. With the brothers you felt like you might actually have a choice. Weirdly enough.

 

“Because he agrees that letting you go to a teenage drug-fest is a stupid idea.”  
Dean answered. Drugs? You opened your mouth to speak but he cut you off again.  
“(Y\N), I’ve been to my share of parties ok?”

You looked at Sam again for support, but using the same technique he practically invented on him wasn’t exactly smart and you found that your eyes, no matter how big and innocent they looked when you tilted your head down and stared straight up into his hazel ones, weren’t enough to convince him to side with you over his smug brother. Speaking of his smug brother - he was now pretty much gloating.  
He patted Sam’s shoulder, this time leaving it there - like he was proving you that he won. His smile was annoyingly wide.

“He knows not to mess with me.”  
You couldn’t help but laugh when Sam swatted his brother’s hand away and picked up his coffee again, muttering a quiet ‘Jerk’ under his breath before downing the rest of the liquid down his throat.  
You sent Dean a victorious grin of your own.

“Oh shut it. Anyways it’s still a no.”  
As Dean turned around to pull some eggs out of the refrigerator, you were struck with genius. With a quick movement of your fingers you released your hair from the black hair tie that was holding it together.

“Ow!”  
Dean rubbed the back of his head with his free hand as he yelled out a couple of particularly juicy words.  
Sam, who seemed on the verge of falling asleep up until now stared at you with surprise, his mouth open in shock. The older hunter was slowly turning around, his shoulders stiff and his posture practically radiating danger..  
Maybe it wasn’t ‘genius’ that hit you. Maybe it was sheer, uncontrolled stupidity.

“Uhh…”  
You couldn’t convince yourself to say anything. Dean was now glaring at you straight in the eyes as he picked up the hair tie from the floor. Oh no.  
You slowly started backing away, but the hunter seemed like the type who would stop at nothing to get his revenge. His fingers stretched the elastic rubber band, which felt like the equivalent of a loaded pistol.

“Sam!”  
For the first time that morning the guy took your side. He actually got up from his chair and stood in front of you.  
“Hey look, she didn’t mean it, alright?”  
Sam held his hands up in front of him and looked his brother in the eye, as if he really was trying to talk him down from firing a gun.  
Dean only tightened his hands on the hair tie, his glare now focused on his little brother instead. And his glare, there could be no confusion about it - was definitely ‘deadly’.

As the staring contest continued, you took the chance to slowly stick your right hand in the pocket of your sweater, where you knew you kept a spare-

“Hands out of your pockets!”  
Dean’s voice made you freeze. Damn him and his hunter instincts. You were being so careful about not attracting attention too!  
You slowly took your hand out of your pocket. Just leaving your weapon there was too risky though. Luckily, rubber bands weren't as big as guns. 

“Ow! Why you little…!”  
Why in the world did you think that was a good idea?!  
When you started backing off again you bumped into the table, so in your panic you settled for pulling Sam in front of you to the point where his tall frame hid your whole body from a now very angry Dean.

“Don’t you hide from me you little brat!”  
From your safe position behind your human shield you could see Dean’s eyes glimmering with anger, but there was also… amusement? Or.. was that… playfulness?  
Was that good or bad?

“Sam. Move.”  
Bad. That was definitely bad.  
Your loyal ally wasn’t budging though. Thank god for that. It seemed your earlier guilt card was starting to work on him, but just in case, you know - for protection, you tightened your hand around his shirt.

“Oh (Y\N)... Come out come out and play…”  
That was the single most creepy thing you have ever heard, and you knew he was using that voice on purpose. You shook your head frantically.  
No. Nope. No way. Uh uh.  
Sam sensed the change is his brother too, and what did he do? He LAUGHED.  
What the hell was wrong with him?!  
You tightened your hand around the material of his shirt again, this time holding it even closer to your chest. There was no way he was leaving you with his crazy over-grown child of a brother. You couldn’t take that chance.

“Suddenly not so brave, are you?”  
Again, Dean’s creepy voice seeped into your bones, and you felt your shoulders inching just a few centimeters upwards. Maybe the guy didn’t get enough time to play around as a kid, what with his unique kind of lifestyle and all. Maybe he just wanted to be mean.  
Either way it spelled bad news to you, since he wasn’t exactly a cute kitten playing with a ball of wool. No. He was more like a grown-ass cat who was hunting down a mouse. A prey.  
You.

“S-Sam?”  
God, if he didn’t get you out of this situation somehow, you didn’t know what else you could possibly do. He was your one and only hope right now.  
Said man let out a hearty chuckle that didn’t fit the situation at all. Well, he did have to deal with Dean for years now. He probably got used to all of his antics. You didn’t though.

“Come on girl! You can’t hide behind Sammy forever.”  
Again, you pulled Sam towards you. This time he actually captured your hand in his though, complaining that the shirt was constricting around his neck and he couldn’t breath. You loosened your grip, but your hand wasn’t going anywhere.  
When he could breath again, he let out a defeated sigh. All of a sudden you were picked up from the ground and then set on top of the table.

“Run. I’ll buy you some time.”  
______________________________________________________________________________

Sam stuck to his words. You didn’t know what he did, but it gave you enough time to lock yourself in your room. Ironic, isn’t it?  
You waited there until Dean ‘cooled off’. All that meant really was just that he settled for a tickle fight instead of whatever the hell he had in mind before.  
You didn’t even wanna know.

It was getting late, and you knew the party was starting at five. You had less than an hour to change the brothers minds, but that wasn’t such an easy task and you even offered baking Dean pies every couple of days. They simply wouldn’t budge.

If you wanted to go to that party - you needed to step up your game.

“Sam?”  
You asked as you sat down in front of the man at the war table. He was reading his precious books again. You got no answer. You couldn’t even see his face behind the brown cover that read ‘Greek Mythology Vol. 14’. That sounded boring. Surely you were at least a little more interesting than that.

“Sam.”  
Slowly you could see his casious, hazel eyes, and then his triangular nose, and then finally his tiny frown. He was looking at you. That was a good thing, right?

 

“(Y\N).. I know you want to go, but you have to understand that-”  
“Understand what? Did you spot some demon stalking our non-existent back yard? You said there’s no more danger right?”  
Sam looked like he was taken aback a little from your unusually harsh words, and you almost felt bad. Until you remembered that last time you were in danger they kept it from you, that is.

“Well one, Dean and I are hunters, so there’s no such thing as ‘no more danger’, and two,”  
He took a deep breath, giving himself a moment to organize his thoughts. 

“And two.. That ‘accident’ last week, it uh.. Let’s just say we both need some time to recover.”  
You looked at him with confusion, and he gave you a small, apologetic smile.

“I know this isn’t fair. I know you probably think we’re just being mean, but..”  
Hell yeah this wasn’t fair, but the sudden sadness in his eyes made you think there somehow was another version to the story that had them in the right and you in the wrong. 

“But…?”  
You asked, curiosity winning over you. You really hoped he wouldn’t say something like ‘It’s for your own good’ or something of that sort. Your father would always say that when he would beat you for not getting straight A’s. Back then you thought it was normal. Only when you grew up a little did you realize that your mom would try to stop him because it was wrong. Bad.  
Well, if you knew one thing about the Winchesters - it was that they were definitely good.

“Imagine if Dean was kidnapped for example, and you couldn’t do anything about it. For three long days. Three days, all you could think about would be ‘where is he? Is he okay? Is he safe? Is he hurt?”  
Sam buried his eyes back in the book again, but it wasn’t because he was suddenly more interested in it than you. He was hiding his eyes. 

“Is she dead?”  
Realization hit you like a brick crushing into an innocent bystander casually sipping on her diet coke under a construction site. One that for some reason didn’t have a sign that read ‘DANGER. Keep out’.  
It was a weird and long analogy - but it was the only one you could come up with to perfectly summarize what you felt at that moment.  
The fact that he forgot to even stick with the whole ‘If Dean was kidnapped’ thing and just went straight to the point, you, and the way his voice shook a little when he spoke made your heart clench in your chest. 

You felt really guilty all of a sudden. How did you not think about how it affected the brothers? You accepted your recent nightmares because it seemed obvious they would come along eventually, but Sam and Dean were unbreakable in your mind. Invincible.  
You looked at the currently very vulnerable hunter in wonder as he tried to hold back tears, and suddenly you remembered a line from a song by Five For Fighting:

‘Even heroes have the right to bleed.’

Those words twisted in your stomach until you couldn’t hold it in any longer. Without thinking about it twice you stood up and in one, two - three steps you had Sam wrapped in a crushing hug. The guy was so tall and broad, but somehow he seemed so small under your arms.

“I’m sorry.”  
You whispered, close enough to feel his beating heart next to your ears. Your voice was starting to shake too.  
Sam hugged you back in return, resting his chin on top of your head.

“You have nothing to apologize for.”

His voice was a little calmer now. Like you were feeding him energy through the hug, or maybe he was squeezing it out of you with how tightly he was holding you to him. Weirdly enough, you found you could actually breathe easier with your mouth and nose squashed against his shirt.

“If anything, you are the one who deserves an apology.”  
He added.You looked up at him, and from between the strands of unruly hair you could see a genuinely happy smile. It was small and a little unsure, but you felt like it held more warmth than the sun itself. 

“I love you.”

The room fell into silence for a loooong minute. One that felt like eternity.  
Your cheeks heated up once you realized you just blurted that out. Sam looked at you with eyes opened wide, and you struggled not to just get up and run. These were big words. You didn’t even remember the last time you spoke them to anyone besides your mom. They were true, however.

When the surprised hunter snapped out of his state of shock he crushed you to his chest again, this time much harder, and right before your vision was blocked by the material of his shirt, you could have sworn his eyes have gotten a little wet.

When you were seriously struggling for air, unlike last time, he loosened his hold around you and pushed his chin into your messy hair. 

“I have an idea.”  
______________________________________________________________________________ 

“Are you out of your mind?!”  
Dean exclaimed loudly, looking at his younger brother like he just suggested they should do a free fall out of an airplane without a parachute. 

“Dean, it’s just this one night!”  
Dean wasn’t the only one who was surprised. You almost couldn’t believe your ears when he suggested they’d let you go to the party. You doubted that even after the heartfelt moment the two of you shared that he’d just let you go. There had to be a catch to it.  
He said he had an idea. Unfortunately you weren’t anywhere near figuring it out. 

“I can’t believe you right now.”  
The older Winchester paced around the room in somehow contained anger. Every step on the floor felt like a minor earthquake, and you had a feeling he was doing that on purpose. 

“Just come with me for a second.”  
You shot Sam a suspicious look he easily avoided. It did catch Dean’s attention though.

“Fine, but you better explain which part of your brain isn’t functioning right so I can fix it before you do something stupid.”  
The brothers exchanged a few loaded glares, before they both made their way out of the room and left you standing there alone, wondering what the hell was the idea Sam had.  
______________________________________________________________________________

Did Dean just say….?

“What?”  
You asked again. You had to make sure you heard him right.

“I said, you can go to the damn party if you want.”  
He was obviously still struggling with going through with that, but at least he didn’t seem angry or worried anymore, which you found very weird.

“Really?”  
You almost felt like you were hallucinating or something.  
Dean gave you a tight smile which you knew was only there because Sam was standing to his left with a hand on his shoulder. A hand that seemed friendly at a first look, but painful at the second. 

“Yes.”  
He finally said, his tense posture changing as soon as he was free and out of the so called ‘Gentle giant’’s reach.  
You didn’t know what Sam told him, but at that moment you couldn’t care less. You could go to the party!  
You started jumping up and down with happiness, squealing with excitement. Sam looked at you with a smile mirroring your own, and even Dean couldn’t stop himself from joining the two of you, although his smile was smaller because it looked like he was trying to hold it back.

“Thank you thank you thank you!”  
You threw yourself into Dean’s arms, your hands clutching to the back of his jacket. You could tell the whole thing was a little awkward for him when instead of fully hugging you back he just patted you lightly on the back. You giggled quietly into his chest.  
Apparently hugs were reserved only for death or life situations.  
You were gonna have to change that.

______________________________________________________________________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter (Y\N) actually gets to go to the party, and things get pretty interesting...
> 
> Tell me what you think in the comments! I always get super nervous after I upload a chapter, and comments really help. I'm not even kidding, last time I couldn't fall asleep. Well, maybe three cups of coffee had a hand in that, but still! I love to hear what you guys think!  
> Next chapter is probably gonna be out pretty soon, since I seem to be in a crazy mood to write lately.


	10. Parties are messy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party turns out to be pretty eventful..

The sign on the door read ‘Buckner’, so that must have been the place. And if you couldn’t bother to look, the loud music from inside gave it away anyways.  
The two of you - Yuuki and you, were too nervous to knock. Yuuki practically made you into a wall to hide behind.   
You couldn’t really complain, being as you were the one who convinced him to come in the first place. You were too nervous to go alone.  
Apparently though, two shys didn’t make a brave.

Yuuki was clutching onto his sketchbook at his side. He told you once that it helped calm him down to carry it with him.  
You understood why - not only was it something to be proud of when you were feeling insecure, but it also served as a kind of escape.   
Most people didn’t bother you if they saw you concentrated on something so that was another plus, and even just pretending you were drawing made less people approach you.  
You wished you had something like that too.   
Instead of holding onto something as you brought your hand up to knock, you were gripping your own arm. It was slowly getting numb, but you figured the tension released from the action was worth it. You just wished you could find an alternative before your hand started to feel like it was about to rot off.

When Yuuki saw you hesitating he gave you an encouraging pat on the back. It didn’t do much to help though - you didn’t know why, but walking in felt like a big step to you, and you wanted to do it right. You wanted to be friendly with people. Sociable. Make new friends.  
All of a sudden something was shoved into your hands. You looked back at Yuuki, at his empty hand.   
He lended you his sketchbook.

“Yuuki,”  
The boy just shook his head and gave you a nervous smile.  
“You look like you need it more than me.”  
Maybe you were too quick with your assumptions earlier. You pretty sure you just felt a surge of courage pass through your veins. It was making your heart beat normally again, and the color return to your cheeks.

*Knock knock*  
You waited patiently, but no one was answering. It was probably too loud for the people inside to hear you.  
You knocked louder - as hard as you could.  
The door opened to reveal a woman in her twenties. She had wavy black hair that was pulled up into a stylish bun. She wore a blue fitted dress that covered her thin body, and bright red lipstick decorating her lips.  
She looked at you with a bored expression.

“Umm, I-Is Olivia home?”  
Of course she was home! She invited people over! God you hated the way you talked when you were nervous.  
The woman turned her head backwards.  
“Oli there’s someone at the door for you!”  
You flinched at her loud voice and stinging tone.  
When no answer came she just sighed and made a sign for you to pass through the door.

“Go on.”  
You found yourself clutching at the sketchbook in your hands tightly. Carrying it around really did help. You made your way inside the crowd of ‘dancing’ teenagers. More like grinding.  
It reminded you of the scenes you desperately tried to wipe out of your head that traumatizing night you walked in on Dean watching a video named… what was it again? ‘Asian beauties know how to please their bbc boyfriends’? You still had no idea what bbc meant, but you were too afraid to ask.  
The living room was large and the couch as well as the rest of the furniture was pushed up against the wall to make more space. At the edge of the room there were stairs leading to an upper floor. It had a ‘DO NOT DISTURB’ sign dangling from a string that was tied to the railings, and as far as you could tell the space surrounding it was the only part in the room that wasn’t covered with red plastic cups or some type of green grainy substance that you hoped to god wasn’t actual puke.

“This party rocks Oli!”  
You turned your head to look at the short brunette who was talking to Olivia, who had the exact same hair and eyes as the woman at the doorstep. She was probably her older sister.

“Thanks hun!”  
Olivia replied, her voice especially loud, but it was still barely heard over the music. Two girls you knew from class were dancing right next to her, singing along with the song.   
One of them looked fairly drunk and her drink threatened to spill over her fancy dress with every little move she made.

“So... How are things going with Adam?”  
The brunette asked, a mischievous smile plastered across her lip-gloss tainted mouth.  
Olivia’s cheeks reddened slightly, and she looked around as if to make sure no one was listening. You suddenly felt like you were eavesdropping on something personal. To be honest you were just waiting for the right moment to introduce yourself.

“It’s perfect.. He’s perfect…”  
Olivia said dreamily, holding her hands around her own waist and swaying slightly from side to side.   
Both girls giggled a bit, creating a happy atmosphere around them. They weren’t talking anymore, just exchanging giddy looks.  
This could be your chance.   
You looked back at Yuuki to make sure he was with you, and he replied with a small nod.

“How is my pretty girl doing?”  
You tensed up at the familiar voice and froze mid-step. Yuuki inched closer to you, but instead of staying in hiding like you thought he would, he took two steps forward, stopping right by your side.  
‘Adam’ laid his hand over Olivia’s shoulder, a smug condescending smile on his face. He leaned down to kiss her, and she ran her fingers through his blonde, slick hair.  
It was that damn bully from the first day at school.

When Olivia snapped out of her dazed state she let out a cute little giggle, and you wondered how the hell a disgusting guy like him got such an adorable girl.   
The brown haired friend that was talking to her before excused herself with an awkward ‘I’mma leave you two lovebirds alone..’ as she maneuvered herself through the crowd of dancing teens.

“Oh hey, (Y\N) and Yuuki, right? I didn’t see you there.”  
You suddenly didn’t really feel like introducing yourself anymore. At least not in Adam’s presence. Not when his mean eyes were focused right on your face.   
Yuuki gave Olivia a little nod, and you took notice at the fact that he was now visibly shaking.  
You pressed the sketchbook into his hand, and he closed his fist around it like he was holding onto a rope as he dangled over a chasm. 

“(Y\N)... Where do I know you from?”  
Adam trailed off, looking straight into your eyes, as if saying ‘You say anything to her, you’ll have to deal with me later’.  
You only narrowed your eyes back.

“You two know each other?”  
Olivia asked, looking back and forth between Adam and you.

“You know what? I don’t think I said hello to everyone just yet. Do you mind if we talk later? Nice place by the way,”  
And with that Yuuki and you were off, backing away slowly and trying not to raise any suspicion. You weren’t gonna stick around for Adam to start harassing you again.  
Yuuki was with you on that. With a gentle hand he lead you through the messy dance floor. He found a spot that was remotely clean, and the two of you sat down, hoping an overly excited girl wouldn’t decide to twerk next to you all of a sudden.   
You let out a tiny sigh.

“I’m sorry…”  
Yuuki looked at you with a small understanding smile. He brought his hand up to rest it reassuringly on your shoulder.

“This sucks..”  
The music was loud in your ears, vibrating your whole body with unpleasant waves. Suddenly you really wished the brothers insisted you wouldn’t go even more.  
You could have been happily cuddled next to Sam on the couch right now, while he watched one of his favorite Discovery channel shows. Dean would probably be making dinner, and then the three of you would exchange sleepy smiles, you’d have Sam’s hand ruffling your hair, and when the older hunter would lay down his ‘big macho tough guy’ facade for the night, you might even get a kiss on the forehead.

“Should we just go home…?”  
Yuuki asked, making a notable effort to speak louder than usual so you could hear him talk. You could easily see that he was just as uncomfortable as you in this situation.

What happened to making friends? What happened to being sociable? 

“Hey look! It’s Double D’s!”

Your eyes snapped to Adam’s… ‘minions’ would work. Great. Just great.   
From your spot on the floor the two guys looked pretty threatening, towering over you and blocking out the majority of the dancing teens. Still, you really didn’t feel like getting bullied right now. 

“Don’t you two have something better to do?”  
The smug bastards didn’t look even a tiny bit moved at your harsh tone. Yuuki took one look at your stiff form and stood up. You looked up at your shy friend in awe as he glared daggers at the much taller bullies. He was practically half their size.  
Your hand came up to grip at the sleeve of his shirt, encouraging him to sit back down.   
You didn’t want him to get hurt.

“Aww, he’s protecting his fwend~”  
The mean voice made anger start to bubble in your stomach. Assholes.

Yuuki surprised you even more by talking again, even if it was only just two words. His voice was unusually firm and low, and despite everything else - scary.

“Back off.”  
And the douche-bags did take an almost unconscious step backwards. From your position on the floor your friend’s slim back looked a little wider, but something about the whole situation felt wrong.   
On wobbly legs you straightened up, your feet meeting the ground with determination. When Yuuki sent you a small, grateful smile, you knew you just made it right again.

‘Crab’ and ‘Goyle’ were about to talk back again, but were interrupted by two long arms wrapping around their shoulders, causing them to stagger into each other in the most ridiculously awkward way. They were practically two centimeters away from kissing. You couldn’t help but laugh at their horrified faces.

“Benjamin Bitten! How’re you this fine night mah mannn?”  
The guy was most definitely drunk. He was looking at the taller of the bullies with anticipation, almost as if he was waiting to hear the result of an important test. Yup. Sooo drunk.  
And Benjamin Bitten? What kind of a name was that?!

“Dude I told you not to call me that in public!”  
A little bit of tension left your muscles at just how much the drunk guy was embarrassing his still sober friend. Karma, bitch. 

“Do you know why we call him that?”  
He slurred, tightening his grip around his helpless friends, still not catching on to the fact that he was close to making them smooch. He was a pretty buff guy, and it didn’t seem like they would be going anywhere any time soon. Judging by the looks on their faces they knew it too. You could see how the redness in their cheeks, caused by all the dancing, was slowly fading away into white. Pale, pale white.  
When nobody said anything for a few seconds, you realized that the buff dude was still looking at you expectedly. Oh right!

“Why?”  
You asked. As if he was about to deliver the greatest speech humanity has ever heard, the guy’s head shot up, nose proudly in the air. His friend was now batting at his arms, trying to get loose more than ever. 

“Well, benjamin here - ben for short, once upon a time got himself a girl for a night, believe it or not,”

‘Ben’ was struggling as hard as he could, but the arms around him didn’t move an inch. His eyes were wildly looking for ways to break out of his friend’s hold, but it was quite obviously in vain.  
You were finding immense pleasure at that.

“And?”  
You asked, trying to make the buff guy hurry up and get to the point already. You wanted to have something over the bastard. Something that could beat ‘Double D’s ’. 

“Well, to say the least she wasn’t very experienced with her… mouth. Ben has a pretty little scar to prove it.”

Holy. Shit. You burst out laughing, and so did Yuuki, who was extremely quiet up until now. 

“Y-you got bitten, down there? Oh. My. God. This is the best thing I’ve heard all day!”  
You hands wrapped around your stomach, trying to steady yourself as constant waves of laughter broke through your body. 

“Benjamin Bitten!”  
You kept repeating the nickname over and over again, loving the way the bully tensed up as a result.  
Suddenly it didn’t matter that you were only half his size - the guy seemed less harmless than a bug at the moment.

“Stop saying that!”  
He yelled at you, and then turned to the second bully who was still smashed up against his side.

“Come on let’s go.”  
They made their way back into the dance floor so quickly that in just a few seconds they were out of your sight.  
______________________________________________________________________________

 

The next few hours were spent watching everyone dance as you sat on a table at the corner of the room with Yuuki at your side. Olivia came by to talk with you every once in a while, when Adam wasn’t grinding up against her. That most definitely didn’t count as a form of dancing. At least that was your opinion on the matter. You had the feeling Dean might disagree.  
The host of the party was just telling you about her crazy ex when someone yelled ‘Pizza is here!’ from the door.  
You were actually pretty hungry.

“Coming!”  
Olivia yelled over another Nicki Minaj song. Whoever the DJ they hired was, he had a horrible taste in music.

The three of you hurried over to the door, where you were almost a 100% sure Olivia’s older sister was flirting with the pizza man. Actually… pizza.. Men? There were two?

“Oh honey, I’m requesting you specifically every time I order pizza from now on.”  
Her voice was silky smooth and overly sweet. So sweet you could almost imagine that she scattered ground lollipop powder all over herself instead of using perfume.

“Always at your service, princess.”

That voice could only belong to one guy.  
Oh no no no. no. NO.

“DEAN!?”

The bastard didn’t even bat an eyelash in your direction. Maybe it had to do with the nicely polished fingers trailing up his shirt.   
The black haired girl was all over him, from the way she pressed her breasts into his chest (Bet he liked that), to the way her leg was pushing dangerously close to his… privates (Bet he liked that too).

Sam was just standing there, looking a little awkward at his older brother’s side.  
The second ‘pizza man’ sent you a quick, half apologetic look, but that was all you got.  
You should have known. Sam was exactly the type cunning enough to find a loophole. 

‘Sure yeah, you can go! Hope you don’t mind us dropping in randomly though. Dean was just saying how bars didn’t do it for him anymore.’  
Jerks.

Dean only looked away from cleavage pressed under his nose when he noticed something behind you.   
Yuuki.  
His eyes narrowed at your shy friend, who was now slowly backing away, using your back as a hiding spot once again.

“I didn’t catch your name…?”  
Dean trailed off, looking into his new ‘friend’s, soon with benefits eyes (actually there was a short period of time where it wasn’t clear if his focus was her eyes, her breasts, or the guy behind your back).   
The girl twirled a lock of her hair between her fingers and tilted her head down, looking up at him and flattering her fake eyelashes seductively. 

“Princess is fine…”

 

“Well, princess,”

Dean started, swallowing down saliva. Oh he was definitely smitten with his new ‘princess’.

“C-could I come back for you later? I just remembered there are some… pressing matters I need to attend to.”  
Sam snorted, rolling his eyes at his brother’s use of words.

“Smooth.”  
The snide comment didn’t seat well with Dean, and so as if to prove him he was wrong, he leaned down to kiss the surprised girl in front of him deeply.  
Oh god.  
“Oh for fu- Dean!”  
Sam complained loudly. He was caught by surprise just as much as you were.   
The smug bastard only smiled into the kiss.

Some guy whistled in the background.   
Looking around you actually noticed that a small crowd has gathered around to watch the royal couple. It seemed the ‘princess’ had quite her share of grumpy admirers that were now glaring daggers at Dean from afar.

With strength you had to apploud him for, the hunter separated himself from the obsidian haired woman, taking a few steps backwards that actually looked painful for him. 

“I got your number..”  
He said, waving a folded piece of paper in his hand awkwardly. He got a kiss blown his way in return, which actually made his cheeks redden a little.   
Oh Dean..

As soon as he put enough distance between himself and the ‘princess’ though, he slowly reverted back to his normal self, his tough exterior back in place.  
Yuuki, who was still standing behind you noticed that too. When you glanced briefly at behind your back you could see he was pretty damn scared. Well, you both were when despite the music playing in the background Dean’s feet still managed to connect with the floor hard enough to be make loud smacking sounds.

His green eyes were glued to your friend and no matter how much you adjusted yourself to cover him, Dean seemed to always find the right angle. He was like a really creepy version of the Mona Lisa.   
Finally you felt courageous enough to take a few steps of your own towards the towering man.

“D-Dean, this is Yuuki. Remember?”

His face stayed stoic. Not a muscle moving.  
Sam, who finally snapped out of his shocked state, came over to lay a hand over his brother’s shoulder. It was quickly slapped away though, making the tall man sigh in annoyance and throw his hands in the air.

“Dude, you’re scaring him!”  
He pointed out.  
You nodded your agreement quickly, grabbing Yuuki by his free hand and dragging him behind the giant.   
There. Try to find the right angle now, you bastard!   
Sam looked a little uncomfortable with the position you just put him in, but one quick look at your terrified friend convinced him to go with it.

“Oh come on, that’s not fair!”  
You almost laughed out loud. You didn’t know what kind of a twisted definition Dean had for the word ‘Fair’, but actually - you weren’t sure you wanted to know.

Sam didn’t budge at his brother’s childish whine, if anything he only looked more confident to keep Yuuki hidden behind him for the time being. You gave his big hand a grateful squeeze. He returned it with one of his own, but still stared forwards. 

Dean seemed like he was fighting a war against himself, which ended with him wearing the most forced grin you have ever seen in your entire life. It was twitching at the edges from how hard it was for him to keep it locked in place.

“Hey there Yuuki. I’m Dean!”  
Dean’s voice was so unusually cheerful that it was thoroughly creeping you out. He reached a hand forwards, trying to invite your shy friend out from behind his brother’s huge form.   
He reminded you of a guy trying to get a little kitten to come out of it’s hiding. Problem was - everyone knew a cat didn’t just do what you wanted if it didn’t get some form of payment - maybe some left overs from dinner, but Dean had nothing to offer right now. Nothing but his terrifying grin.

When he realized his strategy wasn’t working, the hunter set out chasing after his helpless prey. Damn it!

“Dean!”  
You yelled, quickly catching up to him and gripping his right arm in an attempt to slow him down. Your legs dragged on the floor as you tried to bring the guy to a stop without much success. You did manage to slow him down a bit though.

“I just want to say hello!”  
Dean growled out over his shoulder. You rolled your eyes at that. Like hell he was! 

“Deannn!”  
You whined after him, finally managing to cage his flailing arm under your armpit. Something told you that if he really wanted to free himself from your hold though, he could. You realized you were running out of time.

“Yuuki, run!”  
And run he did. Right through the front door. Dean fixed you with one of the meanest glares he could master.  
Well, at least Yuuki got away. For now at least.  
______________________________________________________________________________

 

The rest of the party was spent in the company of Sam, who stood out so much from the crowd of dancing teens that he almost looked like a misplaced light tower.   
You both tried to busy yourselves with something - anything, but nothing could keep your attention for too long, and every time you tried to get yourself something to drink, Sam would slap the red plastic cup out of your hands. You were pretty sure it was just a bottle of coke you reached for before, but your overprotective guardian was having none of it.

You sighed in boredom.  
Dean had left with his ‘princess’ upstairs quite some time ago, neatly arranging the ‘DO NOT DISTURB’ sign after them with a giddy smirk and a wink.

“Sam..”  
You whined. You couldn’t believe you were actually about to say this, but -  
“I want to go home!”

Sam looked at you with sympathy. 

“You and me both sister.”  
His eyes snapped to the staircase leading to the second floor.

“Screw it. Let’s go get him.”  
With renewed enthusiasm you followed Sam up the stairs.   
The second floor had a short corridor with two rooms on each side. A pretty pink sign on the first door read ‘Olivia’s room’ on it, decorated with hearts and a couple of butterflies. The sign on the second door read ‘Michelle’.   
So that was the ‘princess’s’ real name.

Your hand was two seconds away from knocking, when a very loud moan made you freeze in place. A manly grunt quickly followed, and you stumbled backwards so fast that your back was crushed against Sam’s chest in a second.  
Sam’s hands snapped to cover your ears urgently. 

“Dean!”  
Sam’s yell was a little muffled, but you could still hear it. Nothing happened for the next minute or so, and the both of you were just standing there awkwardly.   
Finally, the door opened, revealing a bare-chested Dean, covered loosely with a thin white sheet.

“What?!”

Sam gave his brother one of his famous bitch faces, before, tapping your shoulder to remind him that you were there too. Dean’s eyes slowly followed down to land on your stiff form.

“S-shit.”  
The door was slammed closed in your face, and Sam’s hands finally left your ears, allowing you to hear the disappointed feminine whines coming from inside the room.  
Dean emerged back from the room after a couple of minutes, this time thankfully clothed in something that wasn’t so thin you could practically see through it.

He stood in front of the two of you, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

“Next time you should let me see those ‘animal instincts’ you were talking about~”  
Michelle’s flirtatious voice made it through the wall.   
Oh god. Oh god oh god.

“Animal instincts?”

 

“Shut up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you guys think?   
> By the way that Benjamin Bitten part is actually based on a true story. It was difficult trying to translate that nickname into English though.  
> I hope it didn't feel like this chapter was all over the place. There were quite a lot of characters and and a whole lot of interactions..


	11. I believe you two owe me a favor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An angel pays (Y\N) a visit. He's not wearing a trenchcoat, but he's pretty cool too!

You sprung out of the school gate, your boots making water splash everywhere as you skipped over in the direction of the Impala. You were wet from head to toe, having forgotten your umbrella at home.   
You knew Sam would probably scold you for that, but honestly you were having so much fun in the rain. You loved watching the dark rain clouds squeeze all of their contents onto the thirsty ground. 

Your mom always told you that keeping things inside only made it harder, that it was best to cry and let it all out. After you emptied yourself from all of your troubles, you were left light and happy, and the sun might even consider paying you a visit.  
The clouds above you on rainy days were following your mom’s advice time after time without fail.   
You felt your lips tagging at the corners.   
You loved winter.

“(Y\N) what the hell! I told you to-”  
“I know I know,”  
You cut Sam off, opening the door and slipping inside the car. Before you could really sit down however, Dean threw his jacket at you.  
You looked up at him, touched at the considerate action.

“No, don’t wear it. Put it on the seat. Don’t get my baby wet, you hear?”  
You should have known.   
You laid down the leather jacket and plopped down, slowly plotting revenge in your brain.  
Actually...

“Wha- (Y\N)! Get your grabby little hands off me!”  
No way. You pushed your freezing, wet hands down the collar of his shirt, trailing them down his back and making him tense up.  
Sam threw an amused glance your way, holding down a laugh.

Dean was flailing around like he was having a seizure, successfully making you crack up and double your ministrations.   
After a couple more minutes though, your small hands were caught in his big ones, bringing your genius revenge plot to a bitter end as he somehow managed to pull you over into the front seat.

“Now you’ll pay!”  
Dean growled. You struggled in his hold as he gripped both your wrists in place. A finger was shoved into your side mercilessly. Damn it! You hated being tickled. Especially by him. He knew all of your most sensitive spots.  
You desperately tried to dodge the attacks, but unfortunately you couldn't do much besides kicking frantically at the air surrounding you. 

“Ow!”  
Oops. That was not air. That was Sam.  
A third hand came into view, and for a second there you thought you were seriously going to pee yourself. You didn’t know how much more you could take - your stomach was hurting, your cheeks were burning, your whole body was pretty much acting out on it’s own accord.   
Luckily though, instead of teaming up with his brother, Sam fixed his hand on top of Dean’s, clutching it tightly and stopping another merciless finger from attacking your armpit.

Dean sent Sam a sour look.   
“I’m not getting caught in your fights. Forget it.”  
With the tall man now on your side, you cautiously slipped to the back seat, keeping an eye on Dean’s hands which still looked like they might attack.   
You almost made it back safely. Almost.   
You jumped when a big hand connected with your bottom. It wasn’t too hard, but you still yelped.  
“Jerk..”  
Sam smiled at you in the rearview mirror while Dean adjusted his right hand back on the wheel. He threw his head back as he maneuvered his way out of the small parking spot, switching the radio on with his free hand.   
‘Urgent’ by ‘Foreigner’ blasted through the speakers, and though you could mostly only see the hunter’s back, you still noticed a small smile tagging at the corners of his lips. 

“You say it’s urgent. So urgent, so oh oh urgent!”  
The sound of Dean’s loud, out of tune singing voice made you forget that you were angry at him. He was suuuch a bad singer.   
Sam reached his hand to turn off the radio, but no one interrupted Dean when he was listening to music. The man swatted his hand away like it was a fly.   
Now it wasn’t only just Dean’s karaoke craze that annoyed his little brother. Couldn’t leave it at that, could he?   
The volume was now so loud that you had to cover your ears. 

“Deaaan!”  
You yelled. The brothers were fighting over the volume switch, and you straightened up in your seat, watching them bat their hands at each other like kids fighting over a toy.

“Would- would you stop that already?!”  
Sam snarled. The song was now variating between being so loud you felt like your ear-buds would pop, to so quiet you could barely hear the lyrics.

 

“My car! you wanna listen to Celine Dion, Taylor Swift or whatever you’re into on low volume, go get your own!”

You looked out the front, slowly starting to get anxious. This was pretty clearly worse than driving while texting.

“Guys..?”  
You yelled just as the radio started playing a different Foreigner song. Dean wouldn’t crush his beloved baby, would he? 

“WHAT?!”  
Both Winchesters screamed at the same time, stopping their fighting to glare at your frightened state.  
You pointed your finger in front of you quickly.

“TREE!”  
Dean seemed to have realized his mistake right at the last minute, his feet pushing down on the brakes as hard as he could, bringing the Impala to an abrupt stop.  
All three of you were left shell shocked and breathing heavily, sitting straight on the leather seats.

“Close call.”  
Sam muttered under his breath. Your hand came up to rest on your heart as you tried to calm down. Jesus that was scary.  
Dean turned around to look at you, his green eyes swimming with guilt as he looked over your body for any injuries.

“You okay kiddo?”  
He half breathed out. You quickly nodded, not wanting the man to feel bad. Honestly, the more you got to know him the more you realized he was hiding some deep sated self loathing issues behind that confident smirk of his.

“I’m fine.”  
______________________________________________________________________________

 

When you finally got to the bunker Sam got out of the car to open the door on your side. You smiled at the action as you jumped out. All of a sudden something was shoved into your hand.  
You looked down in surprise.   
Keys?

“Let yourself in. We have a case to catch.”  
You looked up at the tall man with a little bit of, you hated to admit - fear.  
Alone? You were gonna be alone?  
His big hand came down to ruffle your hair reassuringly, a soft smile gracing his lips.

“It’s ok. We’ll only be gone for a couple of hours. If you need anything you can always just call us, or Charlie if you prefer.”  
Dean looked at you from the front seat, giving you a thumbs up.  
A couple of hours. You can manage, right?

“Ok.”  
It was said so quietly that even Sam, who was standing right next to you, could barely hear it. He did hear you though, and his fingers gave your hair another quick ruffle, before leaning down to tap your right cheek gently and give it a light squeeze.

“There’s food in the freezer.”  
He added, one of his long legs already back inside of the Impala.  
The door was closed behind him, and with a screeching of tires the car was speeding down the road again.  
______________________________________________________________________________

“So, what, another werewolf attack?”  
Dean wondered out loud, looking at the bloody scene before him.   
Five bodies, all torn apart viciously.   
He had to admit, it looked much, much more gory than their usual werewolf cases. Blood staining destroyed sleeping bags, tents torn to shreds, limbs disoriented in unnatural ways or completely bitten off.  
Those unsuspecting campers did not have luck on their side last night.

“Must be a whole pack. I mean, either that or a seriously hungry one.”  
Sam replied, crouching down to inspect the bodies more closely. His eyes scanned each and every one of them individually, before raising an eyebrow in confusion.

“Huh.”

“What?”  
The younger Winchester picked up a stick from the ground beneath him and carefully inserted it into the chest area of one of the campers, pushing it around for a while before straightening back up.

“Their hearts aren’t missing.”

He threw the now blood covered branch away, standing back up. 

“Seriously? Than what the hell are we dealing with?”  
It wasn’t making any sense. They did their research - there were no wolves spotted anywhere near the crime scene since, well ever. No bears either. Those campers weren’t exactly camping in the middle of nowhere. Sure, there were some trees here and there, but no one could actually call the place a forest.  
It had to be werewolves.. right? Some weird, new type of werewolves, but werewolves nonetheless

“No idea.”  
Sam answered. His head turned to look around, stopping on a small farm house standing a little higher up the hill in front of them. It was the closest building to the poor mauled campers.

“We should ask around. Maybe someone heard something.”  
Dean nodded, adjusting one of his his ‘FBI’ suits. He always felt dumb wearing those.  
Sam lead the two of them under the yellow ‘Crime Scene. Do Not Enter’ tapes, brushing past a couple of cops and one guy who looked like his back was killing him as he was stuck in an uncomfortable position, taking pictures of the bodies.  
What a sucky job. How do you even find yourself doing something like that for a living?  
Huh. Look who’s talking.

“Go ahead.”  
Sam encouraged, his hand spread in front of a door.   
Dean barely realized that they have already arrived at their destination.   
He gave the door a few firm knocks.  
A few long minutes passed, before it opened to reveal a man in a bathrobe. He had a short but muscular build, brown hair, and dark, wide eyes. He looked… disoriented. Dean couldn’t point a finger at it exactly, but something about the man made him feel unsettled.

“Agents McNally and Swarek, FBI. Do you mind if we ask you a few questions?”  
Sam asked, flushing his badge, Dean doing the same beside him.   
The man in the bathrobe looked a little freaked. His eyes looked like they were doing marathons, jumping from place to place but never stopping to look the brothers straight in the eye.   
And they thought (Y\N) was good at avoiding eye contact.

“I’m sorry. This isn’t a good time.”  
The man murmured quickly. The door started to close, but Dean blocked it with his leg.

“Sir,”  
Sam called, trying to get the man’s attention.

“We won’t take long.”  
The man shuffled on his feet a little, his eyes burning holes into the ground. His hair was somehow making his eyes look even darker with the way it fell on his face. His mouth was closed firm as he debated with himself if talking to the two ‘FBI’ agents at his door was a good idea or not.

“Ok.”  
He finally concluded. He took a step forward, closing the door behind him.  
Sam and Dean exchanged a loaded look, before turning to face their potential witness. 

Or suspect.

“Are you aware of the... ‘animal attack’ that happened last night?”  
He nodded, his eyes still cast downwards. 

“Any chance you heard anything? Saw anything?”  
Sam asked, his eyes focused on the man in front of him, studying him like a math textbook.

“No.”

Now why was it hard for them to believe that? 

“Strange sounds? Suspicious activity?”  
The man shook his head.   
Damn. This one might be hard to crack.  
Dean rolled the silver ring (Y\N) gave him a while ago between his fingers. He was really embarrassed to be seen wearing it at first, arguing that it was girly and what not, but the girl insisted that he’d take it. Supposedly it was a sort of a family heirloom she had on her the night of the attack. She said it was for good luck.  
Wait.. Silver.

“Ok, well, thank you for your help.”  
Sam looked at his brother like he was crazy, but Dean simply reached his ringed hand to shake the man’s hand, making sure the ring touched his skin.   
He held it there for a long moment, but nothing happened.  
Not a werewolf then. Not a normal one at least. That was good enough for now, they could go look up what they were really after at the bunker.  
______________________________________________________________________________

You sat down in front of the long table, which somehow seemed even longer without the Winchesters present.  
You sighed as you dug into your microwaved meal, bringing the fork to your open mouth.   
You were already starting to worry. After the whole kidnapping incident they went easy on cases for a while. They said it was because they wanted some time off, but you knew it was more than just that.   
If they were overprotective before - well now it reached a whole other level.  
Secretly though, you loved the extra attention. Catching Dean looking over at you while you did your homework, or sitting in Sam’s lap as he read the paper was oddly relaxing.   
You never got that sort of attention at home.

“Is this really what those brothers got you eating now? They really don’t know how to treat a lady right.”  
You jumped at the unfamiliar voice, almost knocking your chair over if it weren’t for a hand steadying it.

“Wh- who are you?!”  
You screamed, your hands rummaging around in the pocket of your pants, looking for-

“Looking for this?”  
You could not believe your eyes. The guy actually held your phone in his hands.  
Now was definitely the time to start panicking.

“Look, I’m not here to hurt you, but I can’t have you calling dumb and dumber just yet. They're in the middle of some important business.”  
You backed up in your seat quickly, your lunch forgotten.  
The man gave you a smug smile that was not entirely scary, before reaching his hand out towards you.

“Nice to meet you (Y\N), I’m Gabriel.”  
______________________________________________________________________________

“(Y\N), we’re back!”  
Dean announced as he climbed down the stairs, Sam a few steps behind him.  
The elder Winchester made his way to one of the many bookshelves in the main room, already starting to take out any reading material that might tell them something about their current case.  
Sam was about to do the same, when he noticed something.

“She didn’t eat her lunch.”  
Dean picked up a thick book in his hands, his eyes running over the cover. With his left hand he reached into his pocket, slipping out a small pen and sliding it behind his ear.

“What’d you expect? That vegan stuff you keep buying tastes like literal shit.”  
Sam made a face at that. 

“I’m gonna go find her. She’s probably hungry.”  
Dean shrugged, putting his pen in between one of the pages and taking hold of any other ones he found interesting, stacking them on top of each other for reading later.  
The tall hunter took a few steps forward when a scream echoed through the corridor coming from (Y\N)’s room.

“Shit!”  
The brothers exchanged worried looks as they took off running towards the voice. They came to an abrupt stop in front of the opened door. Their eyes widened in shock -  
There was (Y\N), her face flushed red with uncontained excitement, screaming her head off while sliding down a.. Rollercoaster?!  
Dean closed and opened his eyes a few times to make sure he wasn’t seeing things.

Instead of the wooden bed now stood a water slide, where her desk used to be appeared an ice cream stand, and right at the spot where her wardrobe normally sat was now a fucking 120 feet high rollercoaster. The ceiling that (Y\N) covered with glow in the dark stars just a week ago was gone.  
They weren’t standing in front of a kid’s bedroom anymore.  
They were standing in front of a small amusement park.

“What in the-”  
Dean exclaimed.

“Took you guys long enough. I was just considering adding a shooting range. I’m thinking first prize could be a ‘YesMistress.com’ member account? I’ll even add in an extra pair of handcuffs. “

Gabriel popped out of nowhere right outside of the door, his familiar smug grin in place.   
“What are you doing here?!”  
Sam half yelled out. Dean was standing behind him awkwardly, his cheeks tinted a nice shade of light pink he was trying his best to hide.  
“No need for that tone Sam. Here, if you’ll be good boys I might even consider throwing in a buttplug or two.”

With a flick of his fingers the indecent shaped object appeared out of thin air and flew above his middle finger. He made it levitate closer to the boys, who both took a massively big step backwards at the sight of the sex toy closing in. The look on their faces was one of pure horror.

“No?”  
The angel almost looked disappointed. Pff. ‘Angel’. He did not deserve that title at all.   
“How about now?”  
Dean jumped when a beautiful blonde woman with a leather whip in her hand suddenly trailed her fingers over his shoulder. It might have been a good thing if he didn’t feel something pressing up against his-

“Eeew!”  
(Y\N)’s loud exclamation made all three eyes snap in her direction. She was standing beside Gabriel with a disgusted look on her face. Dean couldn’t keep down his blush any longer, and Sam simply looked horrified.  
The angel looked down at the girl with a comical expression on his face. 

“Sorry cupcake, that was tactless of me.”  
The blonde, along with the buttplug disappeared, and both brothers let out breath they haven’t even realized they were holding in in the first place. The look (Y\N) fixed Gabriel with was almost scolding.  
Sam cleared his throat.

“What are you doing here?”  
He asked again, this time much more calm than before.  
The trickster gave (Y\N)’s hair a rough ruffle, which she batted away in annoyance, and then proceeded to take a couple of steps in their direction. Their interaction was weirdly casual. Kind of like they already knew each other pretty well.

“Straight to the point, huh?”  
Sam only narrowed his eyes in reply. Gabriel sighed.

“I believe you two owe me a favor.”  
Dean furrowed his eyes in confusion. Thinking lines appeared on his forehead as he concentrated. Sam on the other hand seemed to have already remembered what he was talking about.

“I guess we do..”  
Dean gave his brother a puzzled look.

“He saved (Y\N)-”  
The younger hunter started.  
“Right! Yeah no, I knew that.”  
(Y\N) was now officially the only confused person in the ‘room’. She tilted her head to the side, looking at Dean for answers.

“That’s mean, you guys! You didn’t even tell her who her knight in shining armor is?”  
Dean rolled his eyes. Sam shifted guiltily behind him, his hand coming up to rub the back of his neck.

“Anyways, I need your assistance with something.”  
Gabriel actually looked serious now. Serious and.. Was that pain in his eyes? It disappeared too quickly to really be sure, but the brothers were definitely more attentive now.

“What do you need us to do?”  
Dean asked, focusing most of his attention on the angel, but still leaving a small room for (Y\N). He didn’t want her to hear anything she shouldn’t.

“The case you’re currently working - I’m sure you’ve already figured that you’re not hunting down a werewolf.”

(Y\N) looked between Gabriel and the brothers, curiosity shimmering in her eyes. Her little feet started tapping on the floor in anticipation without her even noticing. Dean however, did notice.

“We better continue this conversation somewhere else.”  
(Y\N)’s face fell. She hated it when they made her feel excluded from the group. It just intensified the loneliness that weighed down on her heart whenever they treated her differently than they treated each other.  
Gabriel looked at the girl with sympathy.  
He flicked his fingers.  
(Y\N)’s hands flew to her ears in panic.

“I’m sure every once in a while you wish you could make those two shut up. No need to worry, it’s not permanent.”

It seemed (Y\N) only heard what Gabriel wanted her to hear. Not hearing the brothers made her feel kind of uneasy though, so she quickly tip toed her way over to Dean’s side, clutching onto his arm tightly. Dean looked down at her with a soft smile.  
Sam gave the angel a grateful look. Now there was no need to send her somewhere else while they discussed the case. It wasn’t exactly what he knew she was hoping for, but it wasn’t so bad either.

“Are you familiar with the norse mythology?”  
Gabriel asked.   
Dean looked at Sam for help.  
“A bit…?”  
He started. Sam rolled his eyes at his brother, to which he returned with a glare. Screw him! He was the normal one here.

“Well, if you recall, I’m actually considered a norse god.”  
Sam nodded while Dean tried to force his brain to remember when that fact was presented to him. It seemed important after all.  
(Y\N), sensing his frustration gently ran her hand up and down his tense arm, hoping the action would help him relax.   
Dean didn’t want to acknowledge that she was actually calming him down though, and poker faced until she stopped. She seemed disappointed with herself.  
Sam had to hold down a laugh. He let out a few coughs to clear his throat before turning his attention back to the conversation. 

“Yeah.. You’re Loki, right?”  
He asked. Gabriel nodded.  
“Well, Loki has a son. A few sons actually.”  
Sam raised his eyebrow.  
“So? According to the mythology he’s also screwed a giant.”  
The angel looked at the floor, avoiding the hunter’s gaze. Dean’s eyes widened, a teasing smirk spreading across his lips.

“Seriously?!”

“A giantess, and don’t judge! The sky might be blue, but there aren’t many fish swimming around in heaven, alright? Can’t exactly hit it with another angel when it’s the beginning of time. It was practically just me, Luci, and a couple of other dicks. It would border on incest.”

Gabriel defended. The brothers just stared at him with amusement. 

“Anyways,” He hurried. “One of Loki’s sons - one of my sons, is called Fenrir.”  
Realization took over Sam’s face at the mention of the name.

“Fenrir has the form of a huge wolf, right?”  
Dean looked at his brother with a raised brow, before muttering ‘Nerd’ under his breath.

“Wait, hang on,”  
Dean started, his face in deep concentration once again. Whatever he was thinking about, he was thinking about very, very seriously. Sam looked at his brother curiously.

“An angel fucks a giant, and the result is a wolf?”  
Sam almost felt like switching his brother with some other guy. Anyone really. Sometimes he just couldn’t understand how his brain worked at all. 

“Can I get to the important part?”  
Gabriel seemed just as annoyed as Sam at this point. Dean nodded, feeling a little dumb at the criticizing looks he got.  
Again, (Y\N) immediately noticed. She was incredibly observant, although maybe blocking out one sense enhanced the others.   
She gave his hand a little squeeze, and was honestly surprised when he gave her hand a squeeze of his own.   
Sam smiled at the tiny, victorious smile forming on her face.

“Fenrir was never exactly an obedient boy, but at the time he was born there wasn’t much to destroy anyways. Years passed though - a couple million years to be exact, and humans entered the pictured.”

 

Gabriel looked genuinely sad now.

“He had to be dealt with. I had to keep him under control.”  
His eyes filled with guilt and shame, but at the same time - determination.

“I got a powerful witch to cast a spell over him. A spell that kept him in human form. He hated me for that, but it was better than some arch angel smiting him for being a danger to humanity.”

Sam nodded in understanding, feeling kind of bad for the guy.

“And that spell… broke?”  
Dean guessed out loud, not liking where this was going. Killing a giant wolf was definitely not in his list of things he wanted to do. 

 

“Not exactly, but it’s slowly getting weaker, and it will break if we don’t stop it soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone catch the Rookie Blue reference? No? Ok.. Nevermind.  
> I wanted to finish the whole story with Gabriel in one chapter, but it turned out too long. My best friend helped me plan this one out. She's a freaking genius when it comes to plot, so there is a whole lot happning in the next chapter.  
> Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed!  
> Reading your comments honestly makes my day (or night, if I can't fall asleep after drinking just a whole lot of coffee), so please feel free to tell me what you thought of it! (this was code for please feel like you HAVE to leave a comment. HAHAHAHA... kidding! Totally kidding! ...... not. Damn it! I'll love you either way.)


	12. That giant invisible wolf is a pain in the ass p.1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Dean take care of business.. Or they try. (Y\N) gets some bonding time with Gabriel.

“So you need us to do what exactly?”  
Dean asked, trying to comprehend the mission they were just given. 

“I told you already - You need to stab Fenrir with his own fang,”  
Gabriel gestured at the box sitting in Sam’s hand.

“Draw the sigil I showed you with his blood, and then trap him there with the spell. Make sure you do it before he changes back completely though, otherwise you’ll have to deal with a giant, pissed off invisible wolf. Oh and, the spell has to be exact, alright? You mess with things like that and you never know what you might end up with. ”

Even the all knowing Sam Winchester of Stanford was having a hard time following, and that was saying something. Dean fixed Gabriel with one of the nastiest glares he could master.   
"Why is he invisible again?"  
Sam asked, wrecking his brain to understand what the logic of it all was.   
Ironic, wasn't it? You deal with vampires and brought to life suicidal teddy bears on a daily basis, but the whole invisibility issue still seems completely ridiculous.   
Maybe because it was coming from the mouth of someone who was an angel, a trickster, and now apparently a norse god who went by the name of Loki too. A norse god who had a son. A wolf of a son. A giant wolf of a son. A giant wolf of a son who additionally also mastered the ability to turn invisible, for whatever reason.

"Look, it doesn't matter alright? Just get it done."  
Dean raised his hand in the air, imitating a student in a classroom. Gabriel sighed.  
"What?"  
"Why can't you just do it yourself? You know, save the favor for when you need advice on how to hit it with girls who were actually born from a vagina and not your pure, angelic mind?"

The trickster made an offended face at that. Sam rolled his eyes at his brother's choice of words. Dean, on the other hand seemed proud.

"Again: Since Fenrir is a celestial being and the spell traps him in the body of an earth dweller, as I would put it - only an earthling - someone who was born on earth,"  
Gabriel lingered on the word 'Earth' a few seconds longer than necessary, treating Dean like he was a five year old learning how to wipe his own ass for the first time.  
"Has the power to trap him in human form."  
He finished, giving Dean a look that pretty much read ‘Your move, bitch’, to which the hunter replied with a mean glare.

(Y\N), who was still under the effect of being momentarily deaf and all, was looking between the three men in the room in confusion. She wanted in! Just once, she wanted to feel like she was actually part of the gang. Knowing what Sam and Dean were up against wouldn’t hurt either.  
Would it?   
Dread started trickling down her neck in the form of sticky, cold sweat.

 

Was this case going to be different from the others? Riskier than usual?   
The serious expressions on the hunters faces were unnerving, not helping her growing fear at all.  
Subconsciously, the fourteen year old tightened her grip around Dean’s arm, holding onto it like a lifeline. 

The rugged man glanced down at the girl in confusion. He opened his mouth to ask her what was wrong, but then closed it when he remembered she wouldn’t be able hear it.  
Instead, he settled for throwing his hand over her shoulders and squeezing her tight into his side. She seemed just a little less distraught when she buried her small head in the material of his jacket, which good enough for him for now.

“Dean, you listening?”   
Sam’s voice dragged the hunter’s attention back into the conversation, where Gabriel was just telling them the whereabouts of which Fenrir was to be found. 

“Yeah yeah, he’s in that small farm house we were at before, right?”  
The younger Winchester nodded.

“Knew there was something weird about that dude.”  
Gabriel seemed impatient, his leg tapping against the floor over and over in an over exaggerated manner. It was pretty obvious to the brothers that he was doing that on purpose, to get them to move.  
Dean sighed. 

“Now that we’re done talking,”  
He said, pushing (Y\N) in Gabriel’s direction. The girl glanced up at him, puzzled.   
“Do you mind?”  
The angel snapped his fingers. (Y\N) straightened up at the sound of Dean’s voice asking her if she could hear him. She quickly turned around, throwing herself at him and hanging on tight like a baby monkey clinging to it’s mother.

“Woh there! I know my voice is as deep as the sea and as sweet as honey, but it’s only just been a few minutes kiddo.”  
(Y\N) ignored him, melting into his chest. She had to admit - the guy had a point. His voice was very relaxing. She wasn’t even tired, but for a moment there her eyelids felt a little heavy.   
It was even more relaxing when Dean brought his big hand up to cradle her head fondly, his low chuckle vibrating against her cheek.

“Sorry to interrupt your little moment, but you guys better get a move on. Dr. Sexy MD starts tonight at 10. I want to watch it without worrying about the possibility of my rabid son sneaking up behind me and taking a bite out of my lovely ass.”

Sam gave the angel one of his famous bitch faces, before letting out a defeated sigh and muttering ‘Not even gonna ask’ under his breath.  
Dean straightened up, his hands about to push (Y\N) away, when the little monkey tightened her hold on him to the point of where it was actually making it hard for him to breath.  
He looked down at her in confusion as she buried her head in his chest.

“(Y\N), what’s wrong?”

 

Dean’s soft voice almost made (Y\N) burst into tears. Her head was producing the most traitorous images. Frightening images. Images in which Sam and Dean were hurt.   
Or dead.   
Her shoulders started to shake uncontrollably.  
She didn’t know what made her so much more worried than usual this time, but she felt like if she let the boys out of her reach - they would never come back to her.

“Hey.. what’s wrong kiddo?”  
Dean tried to lean down to her level so he could look her in the eye, but her hold on him made it practically impossible. Luckily Sam noticed the change in the girl’s attitude and quickly came to his brother’s aid, his eyebrows furrowed in worry.

“(Y\N).. Do you want to tell us what’s making you so sad?”  
Sam asked, his hand rubbing the girl’s back reassuringly. (Y\N) shook her head, sniffing quietly into Dean’s shirt.   
The brothers exchanged concerned looks. 

“You can tell us, right?”  
(Y\N) felt pathetic. She was 14 for f’s sake! She wasn’t supposed to be acting like such a baby! They probably thought she was stupid. If she was back at home her father would have already slapped her for being so whiney.   
She couldn’t help it though. She really felt like they shouldn’t go. It wasn’t safe out there. They won’t come back!

Finally, Dean managed to untangle (Y\N)’s hands from around his waist. Her shoulders were shaking, and silent tears slid down her cheeks as he leaned down to her level. He felt his heart clench at the sight.   
Sam did the same on her other side, his hand gently brushing through her hair. It seemed to be calming her down a little.

“D-Don’t go..”  
She whispered brokenly, her voice wavering as she tried to avoid meeting Dean’s searching eyes. He didn’t seem pleased with that. 

“(Y\N).”  
His voice was stern and deep, and (Y\N) knew she couldn’t escape him now. She slowly trailed her eyes up until she met the hunter’s observant gaze.

“I-I just feel l-like if I let you go this time you’ll never return!”  
She blubbered before she could think about it twice. The intensity of her voice made Sam’s eyes soften in understanding. He quickly wrapped his hands around the girl’s waist, crushing her into his chest from behind. Her eyes widened in surprise.

“I promise we’ll be back before Gabriel makes you watch his shitty shows with him.”

“Hey!”  
The angel piped up.  
Dean straightened back onto his feet, his eyes hooded.. He watched quietly as (Y\N) asked Sam ‘Promise?’ in a tiny, hopeful voice, and scratched at his arm uncomfortably when he heard his brother reply with a confident ‘Of course”.  
When Sam reverted his attention away from the girl, he made sure to give him a disapproving look, but the younger Winchester ignored him. 

“So,”  
Dean announced, making all eyes in the room fall on him.  
“Who’s ready for a one-on-one with the big bad wolf?”  
______________________________________________________________________________

“We’re so not ready.”

 

Dean stated gravely. Sam nodded in agreement beside him, his eyes scanning what just a couple of hours ago used to be the small farm house.  
The place was trashed. Well, trashed wasn’t exactly the word. Completely and utterly annihilated suited it more.  
It reminded Dean of one of the only times his dad took Sam and him to the beach, and some asshole stepped all over the sand castle they had built. Of course, he got angry scared the kid off with his sweet fighting moves, but something told him scaring a giant wolf might take a little more than just that.

“How’re we going to do this again?”  
Dean thought out loud, his eyes scanning the area for any signs of movement, although he didn’t really expect to see anything - what with the annoying yet critical part where Fenrir was gifted with his own invisibility cloak his father mistook for a superhero’s cape one sad halloween.

“Fang, blood, sigil, spell?”  
Sam chanted it like a mantra as he almost unwillingly opened the wooden box in his hands. He really wasn’t looking forward to this.   
As soon as he took the fang out of the box a loud howl deafened their ears, making them both jump.

“Oh god.”  
Sam quickly threw the fang at his brother, trying to make it look like it just innocently slipped out of his hands from the shock. Dean was having none of that.  
“You take it back, bitch!”  
He yelled as he threw it back into his brother’s unwilling hands. He acted like holding it literally burned him, and they both started throwing it back and forth like it was a hot potato.

“Jerk!”  
“Bitch!”  
“Jerk!”  
“Bi-”  
A huge wave of air hit both their faces, making their skin cling to their bones from the impact, and Sam’s luscious hair fly back like something out of a L’oreal commercial.   
The stench that came with it made them both want to gag.

“I guess Gabriel didn’t think it was necessary to teach his son about the importance of brushing your teeth.”  
______________________________________________________________________________

 

You sat down quietly on the seat of the ferris wheel, which was still shining from the bright, colorful lights that Gabriel fixed on before. You let your eyes wander around the amusement park he created just for you, but suddenly it didn’t matter that your favorite song was blasting through the speakers, that the one roller coaster you always wanted to try as a kid was two steps away from an ice-cream stand to your right, that you had three balloons and a pink teddy bear held in your lap - nothing could ease the anxious feeling that took over you the moment the boys stepped out of your sight.

Sam’s promise kept echoing in the back of your head over and over again, but even his determined voice lost all of it’s power when you couldn’t see him standing right in front of you. You held your new teddy bear to your chest in an attempt to help your heart beat a little slower. It wasn’t really helping though.

“Why the long face, princess? You know I could give you just about anything you want with a flick of my fingers, right?”

Gabriel’s voice made you jump in your seat, suddenly all too aware of him sitting right in front of you. You completely forgot the guy could teleport.

“Come on, what do you want? A new dress? New shoes? A date with Ian Somerhalder?”  
The third option was definitely tempting, and you stopped to imagine it in your head, blushing when you envisioned the handsome man leaning down to kiss you.  
Gabriel gave you a knowing look.

“N-nothing like that!”  
You squeaked out in a high pitched voice, turning your head to the side to avoid his eyes.  
“No need to be embarrassed, I promise not to tell the boys you have a crush on a guy who plays a vampire on TV.”

You were pretty sure they already knew about your not so secret crush.   
Every time Dean passed by you when you were watching TVD he would glare daggers at Damon through the screen, and Sam would give you a teasing smirk whenever he happened to walk by as a kissing scene was on.  
You were glad you weren’t old enough to watch Game Of Thrones yet, because the sounds that came out of Dean’s laptop when he was watching it told you that would have been much, much worse. Sam even thought his brother was watching porn once when the moans got especially loud. 

“Why is this case any different from the others?”  
Gabriel’s seemingly out of the blue question snapped you out of your thoughts.

“What?”  
You asked innocently. The trickster gave you an annoyed look.  
“You seem to be convinced that this case would be the one to finally put those Winchester boys down once and for all. Why?”  
You fidgeted in place, looking anywhere but Gabriel.

“I don’t know. It’s a feeling.. A really, really bad feeling.”  
You finally answered after a long moment of silence. That damn feeling wouldn’t leave you alone. It messed up that not so tasty vegan lunch you microwaved earlier. How did they manage to make that crap look like a meat patty? They must have crammed so many ingredients there that naturally the color of it just turned brown - like when you mix in different colors on a canvas. 

Gabriel studied your face quietly for a while, and you started to feel a little uncomfortable at the attention.

“Can’t you just tell me what they’re up against?”  
Gathering the courage to ask that question was difficult, but you really felt that the answer to that could calm you down a little. At least you hoped so.  
“Sorry Peach, I don’t feel like being scolded by the Mario brothers today. Maybe when they come back you could use those big eyes on them instead.”  
Gabriel answered, referring to the puppy eyes you were trying to win him over with.

“Please? Oh one of the mighty chief princes?”  
You recited a line you’ve learned from one especially boring bible class. That’s what archangels were called back then. You were pretty sure of it, at least.

“Are you reading out my dad’s diary?”  
Gabriel asked, looking a little taken aback at the familiar words of one of his first ever descriptions in writing.  
You shrugged.

“Well don’t.”  
He said in annoyance. 

“Then tell me what they’re up against!”  
You demanded loudly. Normally you would have tried to ask a bit more politely, but your worried mind was racing with too many bad situations the boys could be in right now to really care.  
Unfortunately for you though, Gabriel seemed fixated on not telling you anything.

“Once again, no.”  
______________________________________________________________________________

“Shit, shit shit!”  
Dean yelled as he ran away from the giant, invisible wolf on his ass.

“I think we’re a bit late. I think he transformed back already.”  
He pushed out between harsh, short breaths. They were running around for close to 10 minutes now, praying to god (if he was still around) that they could dodge Fenrir long enough until one of them came up with a genius plan on how to get themselves out of their sucky situation. 

“You think?!”  
Sam yelled from behind, picking up his pace when a huge paw fell directly behind him, making the ground around them shake. 

“Any ideas?”  
Dean asked desperately, jumping over a piece of broken log of wood. As if running away from a monster that was probably ten times faster than them wasn’t enough, they now had to dodge parts of the destroyed house that were scattered around practically everywhere too.   
Sam yelped loudly when his feet drowned in something brown and sticky.  
“Yuuuk!”  
Leave it to him and his really shitty luck to run into what probably used to be the bathroom. A glance to his right confirmed it when he noticed a toilet seat sticking out from between the ruins.   
Great. Just great.  
Dean kept up the ‘throw the fang around, maybe it’ll hit something’ strategy he came up with before. So far it hit nothing but air.

“This is bad… this is soooo bad!”  
Dean yelled, jumping aside right before an invisible paw almost crushed him to death. Fenrir’s loud howl made them both run even faster than they were running before, if that was even possible.

“Dean! I see something!”  
Sam yelled over the sound of the ground bending beneath their feet.

“Yeah, I see it too! The light at the end of our miserable fucking lives!”  
The older hunter yelled back, his hand clutching his left side in pain. He was almost completely out of breath. He couldn’t keep it up for much longer. He was getting too old for that shit. 

“No, do you see that?”  
Sam pointed at what looked like a door in the ground. A door to a basement maybe? Could they really be so lucky?

 

“Come on!”  
Sam urged, sprinting to safety. The older Winchester huffed from the effort. It wasn’t fair. Sam was out jogging everyday in the mornings. He had practice. Dean on the other hand, preferred to stay back at the comfort of his room and be a normal human being. Pff. Jogging. What was he, crazy?

Sam opened the metal door and jumped inside, signaling his brother to hurry up.   
Dean used every ounce of power left in his tired body and made the run of his life towards the opened door, jumping down and sighing in relief when Sam slammed it above him.  
Both of them just stood there for a while, huffing and puffing and wiping away sweat from their fore heads.

“What now?”  
______________________________________________________________________________

“Damn it (Y\N)! Can’t you just wait for them to come back quietly?”  
Gabriel yelled after an especially long series of loud whines. You didn’t care though. You were going to get it out of him no matter what!  
Sam and Dean could just.. Just.. suck it!

“Gabriel. I. Need. To know.”  
The angel sighed loudly, every bit of annoyance he was harboring up until now showing clearly in his voice.

“They’re hunting down my son, alright?”  
You looked up at him in surprise. His son? Angels had children?  
You sat straight with curiosity as the trickster proceeded to explain the whole story to you, asking questions here and there until you felt like you could wrap your head around it.

“So.. Angrboda, the giant, is she your wife?”  
You asked, tilting your head to the side. Did angels and giants even marry?

“Giantess, and no.”  
Gabriel answered, looking a little bit melancholic at the mention of his past lover’s name.   
Maybe it was because you wanted to distract yourself from the fact the the brothers were currently fighting a giant wolf, or maybe it was you were simply fascinated with the norse mythology after hearing Gabriel talk about it, but you couldn’t help but pry a little more.

“Why did you want to have children?”  
Gabriel cast his eyes down to the ferris wheel’s floor, but it was obvious to you that he was seeing something else. Something only he could see. A distant memory maybe.

“Well.. It was the beginning of time. Angrboda and I found comfort in each other when there wasn’t much else going on, you know. God created us into a pretty lonely world. He created everything, but at the same time almost nothing.”

You studied Gabriel’s face, noticing the way his eyes turned sad and tired.

“I wanted to create something of my own. Something I could call mine and not father’s.”  
The angel rubbed the crease between his eyebrows, as if just talking about it was giving him a headache. 

“It was great at first. I was happy. We were happy.”  
He let out a dry chuckle before adding ‘We basically had the whole place to ourselves.”  
You nodded in understanding. It was weird hearing him talk about something in such a serious tone. He was so witty and easy going up until now.

“Then humans came around. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always taken a liking to you guys, But, well maybe that was the problem. I had to choose - between my father’s creations, and mine. My children had apparently become too much of a danger to be left alone.”  
You were slowly putting piece and piece together. Oh.

“I’m sorry..”  
You weren’t sure if you were apologizing out of politeness or if you were actually speaking on behalf of the entire human race.   
Gabriel sent you a small smile.

“Yeah, well, as you can imagine - trapping my children in human form for all eternity definitely earned me the father of the year award.”

You felt really bad for the guy. You couldn’t lie, the story was making you see him in a whole new light. He seemed so genuinely sad. He obviously cared a lot for his lost children. He said Sam and Dean’s mission was to bind Fenrir back to his human form. That must have been a very difficult thing to ask of them.

“You did what you had to do.. It’s not your fault.”  
You concluded. Gabriel chuckled.

“Thanks, but it’s okay. I’ve made peace with it. Had centuries to do it.”  
Sure. Of course he made peace with it. That’s why he looked so freaking miserable.

“I mean it. You… you already seem like you care more than my father ever did.”  
At that the angel finally let a real smile slide across his lips. 

“Lucky basterds.”  
You looked at Gabriel in confusion, but the angel only widened his smile.   
______________________________________________________________________________

 

“What if we throw a bag of flour over him? Then we could see him at least..”  
Dean suggested, completely running out of ideas. Sam rolled his eyes. 

“Sure Dean! You find me a couple hundreds of them just laying around here, and then maybe if I suddenly learned how to grow wings I could fly over him and drop it on his head!”

The loud crashing sounds never stopped coming from above them. Fenrir really liked playing chase, only ever since they disappeared underground he must have been chasing his own tail, because they clearly weren’t brave enough to take him head on yet. 

“Stop being a jerk would you?”

Dean growled in annoyance. Sam quieted down, but it seemed it was more because he was trying to concentrate than anything else.  
“This basement is pretty big.. What if we draw the sigil here? We just have to make sure Fenrir’s standing right above us.”  
Dean huffed.  
“Do you have any ideas on how to not only stab an invisible giant wolf, but to also somehow train it to stay?”  
Sam sighed.  
“We’re gonna be stuck here for a while, huh?”  
______________________________________________________________________________

When both Gabriel couldn’t take the waiting around anymore, you came up with the brilliant idea to just watch TV.  
With a flick of his fingers you had a floating television in front of you. You had to admit that was kind of cool. Until you switched the channel to the news that is.

‘An unexpected earthquake occurred today near Wichita, Kansas, and is still going on as I speak. It appears to have hit a farm house head on. It seems to be getting stronger and stronger by the minute, but what’s causing it is unclear. We do hope once it’s over we can send rescue forces to search for any wounded or deceased civilians. For now, that’s all. More details soon.’

You felt like you couldn’t breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, this turned out to be a two parter. Actually a three parter if you consider chapter 11. I really wanted to finish it all in this one, but it's waaaay too much information for one chapter. I think part two is gonna be my favorite out of them all. That's when shit really hits the fan, you know?  
> Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed!  
> Tell me what you think in the comments :)
> 
> By the way, this is kinda random, but I drew some Supernatural fan art. If you feel like checking it out there's one I'm espicially proud of - https://www.instagram.com/p/-W03j4uFi_/?taken-by=crazyartworm


	13. This giant invisible wolf is a pain in the ass p.2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Y\N) does what she thinks is right. The boys disapprove.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry in advance.. This one is going to hurt. Prepare yourselves.

Maybe your reaction was so fast because the two of you were thinking the same thing. You could almost see the exact moment in Gabriel’s face when something switched. Something deep inside him changed, or maybe awakened would be a more fitting term. Worry and guilt mashing together, creating a desperate glint in his normally cheerful eyes.

He was going to make his move. 

Your hand almost subconsciously reached for his, gripping it with all you had as you shut your eyes and awaited the unknown.

Unknown? No, you knew what you were getting yourself into, after all - you just saw it on TV. You just weren’t prepared.

  


The ground beneath you shook, sending broken wooden chips and muddy sand into your eyes.  

You watched in terror as some invisible force crashed what little was left of the small house into the ground, like a can of coke being bent into an unrecognizable shape. 

You couldn’t hear anything besides the wind. 

It wasn’t natural. It was just waves of air clashing into each other in different directions that sent you flying straight towards the ground in a speed so fast that you actually expected to feel your bones cracking.

Instead something blocked the fall. 

  


Gabriel.

He was looking at you with such deep seated anger that you almost forgot you were in the middle of a freaking earthquake.

You snapped out of your state of shock however, when you realized that you couldn’t see Sam or Dean anywhere.

  


Your eyes desperately roamed the space around you, turning your head right and left, front and back, hoping to god you’d catch a glimpse of Sam’s tall frame or Dean’s leather jacket.

Nothing.

The ground surrounding you was nothing but a chaos of broken furniture and reminders of torn clothing that were sent into the air along with everything else that wasn’t heavy enough to hold it’s own.

Your heart felt like it was pumping in and out double the amount of blood it did when you were back at the bunker. You were afraid it wouldn’t be able to keep it up for much longer and just explode.

  


“SAM! DEAN!”

You called out as loudly as you could, but even you could barely hear yourself. You tried again and again, thinking that maybe if you tried hard enough they could hear you, wherever they were. 

You had to stop yourself though when your throat started clogging up with everything that was out in the air around you. It was like someone threw the entire house into a blender.

You pushed a leg in front of you. They had to be there somewhere. The thought of them possibly buried under the ruins made you sick to your stomach. 

You had to get to them before it was too late!

  


A strong hand gripped your shoulder, stopping you from moving. 

**‘Don’t you dare take another step.’**

Gabriel’s harsh voice filled your head, echoing unpleasantly against your skull. He was beyond furious. 

You threw your head backwards to meet his stern gaze with pleading eyes, but the determination that embossed itself into his furrowed brows told you that convincing him to let you go was not in your cards today. You had to come up with a better plan.

An idea popped into your head. A risky one. You took a deep breath

  


**‘What are you-’**

But it was too late for the angel to stop you as you flew in full force towards the destroyed building, riding on an especially strong wave of air.

You knew the wind wasn’t your ally, but whatever injuries you got from the crush were going to be worth it. If it was for Sam and Dean, you weren’t going to make a big deal out of a few broken bones.

The sharp pain from the impact almost knocked you unconscious, but you managed to steady yourself on a log of wood. 

You were going to save them, if it was the last thing you did!

  


“(Y\N)!?”

The familiar, surprised voice caught you off guard, and your head snapped to your left.

  


“DEAN!”   
The hunter was holding open a metal door in the ground, his top half popping out, his eyes wide with shock. He was only a couple of meters away from where you landed.

Oh thank god!

You sighed in relief, but it turned into painful coughs half way through. You reached your hand to your throat in agony. Something was definitely wrong. You coughed again, holding a hand to your mouth. When you lowered it down your heart almost stopped.

There, in the middle of your palm - 

Was blood. Lots of it.

  


“(Y\N)!”

Dean’s scream made you look up again in his direction. You could barely hear him over the wind rushing against your ears. He seemed to have realized it too, because instead of yelling again he tried to push himself out of the metal door.

He looked outraged when it didn’t work. The wind wouldn’t allow him. It was coming from behind you, pushing him away instead. 

It was up to you.

  


With great effort you crawled forward, noticing with each moment the excruciating pain in your left leg. 

  


You tried to hold on to something - anything you could find that could slow down your inevitable crush. You found another log of wood sticking up from the ground and held on while you tried to gather enough courage to finish the job.

Easy right? All you had to do was let go. The wind would do the rest. You didn’t even have to try walking on your wounded leg.

Just, let go.

The wind was hitting your back, bringing you closer and closer to losing your grip. Taunting you. If you let go now, you might just die.

  


Dean, who saw you hesitating opened his arms to his sides, mouthing ‘I’ll catch you’. His eyes were filled with determination.

You looked at him, really looked at him - wide, solid shoulders, strong capable hands, there was no doubt about it-

He  _ will  _ catch you.

You shut your eyes tightly. Breath (Y\N), breath.

_____________________________

  


It took you maybe a second to crush into Dean. Your body screamed with pain from the impact, even though it hurt much less than all the other times you slammed into something this past crazy hour.  The hunter’s arms closed around you in a tight grip, squeezing you into his chest. As gently as possible as he lowered the two of you down, slamming the door above you.

  


“Dean!”

You screamed out, your voice quivering as you wrapped your hands around his waist, grabbing his jacket desperately. Your heart was beating a million times a second as he buried his chin in your frazzled hair. 

  


“(Y\N)!”

Sam’s voice made you cry in relief. He was ok too! You didn’t lose either of them.

Large hands gripped your shoulders as the tall man pressed his chest against your back.

Dean pressed his mouth onto your forehead, keeping you as close to him as he could. 

  


“What was Gabriel thinking, bringing you here?!”   
The hunter growled out, his shoulders radiating with anger. You tensed with guilt. Before you could tell him it wasn’t the angel’s fault though, you yelped in pain. Sam accidentally touched your wounded leg.

Both men snapped into action, remembering that you were probably hurt.

  


Dean pulled you away from him, his eyes scanning your body in worry. 

“Her leg is broken.”

Sam said quietly from behind you, pain laced in his voice as he pulled away the fabric of your jeans to study the injury in more detail. 

You started to turn your head back to see the damage for yourself when a strong hand stopped you, holding you in place against a leather jacket.

“It’s gonna be ok kiddo, try to relax.”

Dean whispered near your ear, one hand keeping your head from moving while the other rubbed your back gently, trying to calm you down.

  


You screamed in pain when you felt Sam taking hold of your foot.

“Shhh, we got you girly, you trust Sammy, don’t you?”

You fought against Dean’s grip, trying to reach your hand back, but the hunter quickly caught it in his and forced it to your side. You wanted to listen to him, you did, but the pain was too much to stay still.

  


“I’ll be as quick as I can, alright? We just need to take care of it until we get you to a hospital.”

Sam explained softly, trying to keep his voice as calm and soft as possible.

Your ears caught the sound of a fabric being ripped, and then some stuff being thrown around.

“This should do the trick..”   
The tall man muttered to himself. Dean tightened his hands around your head and your hands, and you realized just why when a sharp pain erupted from your fractured leg.

You screamed again, your voice muffled against the hunter’s chest.

  


“Almost done kiddo, almost done,”

Dean promised into the top of your head. You bit your lip in an effort not to scream again as Sam worked, your chest heaving with every breath you took. 

  


“Such a good girl, you’re doing so well,”

The hunter praised, his hot breath brushing against your sweaty temple. 

With a couple of especially painful tugs on your leg, Sam announced he was done. You released a breath you didn’t even realise you were holding.

Dean’s hands became a bit looser now that he didn't have to worry about you interrupting his brother, and was now just holding them there for comfort more than anything else.

  


“We need to check for other injuries, ok?”

Dean asked, but to be honest it wasn’t much of a question, because you knew he was going to go through with it whether you agreed to it or not.

You opened your mouth to reply anyways, when another coughing attack sent you groveling to the ground.

  


“(Y\N)!”

Sam cried, fixing his hands on your shoulders as Dean rubbed his hands up and down your back.

When you managed to stop coughing you were hesitant to sit back up. Your hair was covering the new splash of blood on the floor for now, but as soon as you straightened up nothing could keep the brothers from seeing it.

  


“Are you ok?”

Dean asked, suspicious at the way you were acting. You nodded your head slightly, trying to avoid actually talking seeing as it only made it worse for you.

To your horror, the hunter firmly gripped your chin in his fingers and raised your head up himself.

  


“Fuck,”

He cursed, wiping some blood away from your mouth.

  


“I’m going to  _ kill _ that winged bastard.”

You shook your head frantically. Sam looked into your eyes, and you prayed that his observant nature would work for your advantage here. 

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pen, his eyes scouting his surrounding area for a piece of paper, but when he couldn’t find one he simply opened the palm of his hand, urging you to just write on it instead.

You hesitantly took the pen, and both the brothers inched a bit closer to see what you were going to write.

  


‘It’s my fault. I grabbed his hand at the last second. He teleported.’

Dean’s face was unreadable, and so was Sam’s. It made you really nervous. 

Were they disappointed in you? Angry? At you or at Gabriel? You had no idea.

A loud crashing sound that came from above snapped you back into reality.

The older Winchester observed the dust that started falling from the ceiling with a worried frown.

  


“It’s too late to trap it. We have to kill it.”

______________________________________________________________________________

  


Gabriel’s POV

  


You would think this would be easy, right? Haven’t seen the boy in centuries after all. 

It isn’t though.

I know that by now the Winchesters are ready to do what they usually do - take out the monster. 

They should start with me. 

Not much of an angel if you have no heaven to return to right? Not a human either. A norse god? That title isn’t really relevant now days. A trickster? Yeah, maybe.

  


If there is one thing I know for sure, it’s that I’m more of a monster than my son ever was. My son who’s now growling and howling, crushing already broken furniture and annihilating anything still standing in his way.

Humans used to fear him. They called him ‘God of destruction’ back in the day. He was ‘Evil’ and ‘Bad’. That’s what father labeled him anyways.

I always saw a playful little kitten though. Sure - cats scratch, and bite, and yes I admit they are also generally assholes, but they’re… well it’s difficult to explain, but I think if there wasn’t something so endearing about them then people wouldn’t adopt them as a part of the family.

  


It wasn’t even adoption for me. He was mine - blood and flesh. My creation damn it! Mine!

My son.

And now I had to kill him.

  


I looked in front of me and tried to let it hit home that those merciless claws of his were just that. Merciless. The mess they’ve made out of this small farm house in front of me should be enough to me convince, right?

So then why do I keep seeing tiny little paws? Why do I feel like I’m just witnessing a toddler having a harmless anger tantrum? Why do I keep thinking that’s it’s not too late to calm him down? To let him live?

  


**‘Please save him! He’s Gabriel’s son!’**

(Y\N)’s pleading voice caught me by surprise. There’s no way I could hear her over everything else that’s going on, so was she… praying?

I’m pretty sure the brothers didn’t even properly introduce the her to the concept of praying yet - that there were actual angels listening to every word she formed in her mind right now.

She was going on blind faith. 

  


**‘The fang! Use the fang! it’s got to have something to do with it. Sam has been holding that thing like a weapon ever since I got here.’**

Smart, observant little girl. I kind of get those Winchester boys for giving her a place in their messed up family. 

Adoption or not - she was theirs. 

Her desperate voice kept echoing in the back of my mind. She wanted to help. 

Should I listen to her? Could we really pull it off without Sam and Dean’s help? 

  


Oh I’m going to hell for this..

______________________________________________________________________________

  
  


**‘(Y\N), listen to me.’**

You jumped at Gabriel’s voice popping out of nowhere.

**‘If you want to help me save Fenrir, you need to get the fang to me somehow. Do you think you can do that?’**

You looked at the brothers, both fierce looking and ready for battle. The damned fang was in Sam’s pocket now, since he had to put it aside to treat your broken leg. 

How were you going to do that? Even if you somehow managed to slip it out without him noticing, how were you going to climb up the stairs fast enough with your wounded leg and get to Gabriel without Dean stopping you? 

  


**‘Leave it to me. All I need you to do is to go for the fang when I tell you to. You can trust me.’**

Ohhh god. Ok ok calm down. You could do this. You’ll just have to put up with some scolding when this was all over. It was worth it. Gabriel has been nothing but good to you so far, and saving his son from being killed by the now very intimidating looking hunters is only logical, right?

Right.

**‘Now!’**

You snapped into action, launching yourself at Sam’s unsuspecting form.

  


“(Y\N) what are you-”

You grabbed the fang out of his left pocket, holding it to your chest and closing your eyes, expecting it to be immediately taken back from you.

When nothing happened you opened them back up and your jaw almost dropped from the image in front of you.

Both brothers were held flush against the wall by an invisible force, struggling with everything they had.

Dean looked at you from the other side of the room, his eyes suddenly clear with realization. 

  


“Don’t.”

He warned, his voice deep and commanding and very, very angry.

Oh shit oh shit oh shit.

You took a pained step towards the stairs, trying to balance most of your weight on your unharmed foot.

  


“(Y\N).”   
The way your name rolled off his tongue made shivers crawl up your spine. You were so gonna get in trouble for this.

“I’m sorry!’”

You squeaked, catching Sam’s betrayed eyes before you turned around and started the excruciating journey up the stairs.

When you somehow finally managed to get to the door the brothers yells got so loud and so desperate that you almost felt like covering your ears. You’ve never heard them beg before. 

  


You took a deep breath and opened the metal door.

______________________________________________________________________________

  


Gabriel’s POV

  


(Y\N)’s small form popped back into my sight as she made her way out of the basement. She looked tired, and hurt, but her eyes also had a glint of determination in them.

She flinched in pain when the massive wall of wind Fenrir created slapped her whole body stumbling backwards, but before she could fall I created a wall of my own to hold her up. 

Her eyes scoured her surroundings, no doubt looking for me.

  


I was by her side in a second.

“I’m going to stab him with this fang, and then I’m gonna need you to draw a little symbol for me with it, alright?”

I said as I took the fang into my hands.

Her eyes were swimming with confusion and uncertainty. I leaned down to her level.

“Trust me. You’ll know what to do.”

I brought my finger up to her forehead to touch her warm skin gently. Her eyes widened when she realized her leg didn’t hurt anymore, and if I wasn’t in such a hurry I would have laughed at her little happy dance.

  


“Thank you for doing this for me, little one.”

She stopped tapping her feet against the ground to nod at me, her cheeks warming a little at what I just called her. I smiled to myself.

When this was all over I would have to find some way to convince those Winchesters to let me stop by every once in a while.

  


______________________________________________________________________________

  
  


Everything was a blur. One second you were talking to Gabriel, and the next you had a blood dripping fang in your hands. 

You didn’t know how, but you knew exactly what to do. You knew exactly how big the symbol was supposed to be. You knew exactly what it was supposed to look like. You knew all of it.

When you Finished drawing it Gabriel recited a spell in your mind, and you chanted it out loud word by word.

And then everything stopped.

No more earthquakes. No more wind. It was quiet. 

  


You looked, bewildered as the trickster emerged from the sand holding a baby in his arms. His eyes were closed in relief, and his lips were pressed in a gentle smile.

If you could see this peaceful image in your mind back in the basement when you were still unsure if this was the right thing to do, there would be no doubt in your mind at all.

You just helped an angel save his little boy. 

Pride settled in your chest and warmth spread to your stomach as you walked towards Gabriel, stopping in front of him with a wide smile of your own.

The angel gave you the most grateful look you have ever received.

  


All of a sudden the metal door opened behind you with a loud slapping sound as it crashed against the ground.

  


“(Y\N)!”   
The earthquake stopped already, so why did Dean’s furious voice make you feel so unsteady on your feet? 

You turned in the brothers direction as they both marched angrily towards you.

You took a few steps back in rising fear.

This was worth it. It  _ was _ damn it!

  


The older Winchester was towering over you so fast that even if you legitimately tried to run away you wouldn’t have had a chance.

There was no getting away from him.

  


“What the hell were you thinking?!”   
He growled, Sam taking his place besides him looking like a freaking giant wall. Usually when you looked up at them this wall they created was there to keep you safe from the outside. Right now though it only kept you caged in. You were actually starting to feel a little claustrophobic.

  


“She did it for me. If you want to blame someone I’m your guy.”   
Gabriel said as he stepped in front of you. You looked at him gratefully.

The brothers didn’t seem to like that.

  


“Oh we’re definitely blaming you. You don’t need to worry about that.”

Sam announced, glaring at the angel with everything he had. 

  


“You got your son back, so fuck off. This is between (Y\N) and us.”

You looked at Dean with shock. He barely ever cursed. Not when you were around at least.

You tensed when the hunter pushed Gabriel aside to tower over you once more.

Suddenly he gripped your wrist in his hand. It wasn’t very gentle. It was pretty painful even.

  


“Come on. We’re going.”

He announced loudly, shoving past Gabriel.

Your eyes connected with the angel’s one last time before Dean dragged you over to the impala.

  


**‘Thank you. I’m sorry.’**

______________________________________________________________________________

  


The ride back was quiet. Uncomfortably quiet. Dean didn’t even turn the radio on.

When you finally got to the bunker you readied yourself for yelling.

  


“I’m going to bed.”

Sam’s unusual announcement made you flinch. He didn’t even look at you - he simply walked into the hallway.

Dean wasn’t looking at you either. He looked tired. Very tired, and it wasn’t even that late yet.

He squeezed the bridge of his nose, looking like he was having a very bad headache.

  


“I-I’m sorry..”

You said, voice quivering as you tried to catch his eyes. When you finally did though, you wished you hadn’t.

  


“No you’re  **NOT** sorry, or you wouldn’t have done it in the first place!”

  


He yelled loudly, his fists clenching at his sides.

“Forget it. I’m done for today.”

And then he followed his brother’s footsteps, leaving you standing there alone.

______________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo... I left you with another cliffhanger didn't I? If it makes you feel any better I'm pretty sure the next chapter will be up earlier than usual, since I've got it all planned out.  
> What do you guys think? I really want to know if this was just as painful to read as it was painful to write.


	14. Not hungry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Y\N) thinks of a way to make it up to the guys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! I thought I could finish it earlier, but then life got in the way.

You turned in your bed for the hundredth time this night. ‘Night’. It wasn’t even night anymore. It was early morning, and you haven’t had a wink of sleep. Your eyes were still wide open and your heart was still too hurt to settle down.

It was the type of pain that hurt with every single breath you took, and it was tying your stomach in tinii tiny knots.

 

Sam and Dean’s faces were all you could see, no matter how hard you tried to focus on the sun slowly rising outside your window.

The guilt was almost overwhelming you, even though you knew that what you did was right.

 

They were so angry, but what you would have never expected to see in their eyes was defeat.

They were both exhausted. 

You were exhausted too.

There was nothing you wanted more right now than to jump straight into Dean’s arms and drag him over to the table where Sam would be serving breakfast like almost any other day.

You wanted to laugh at how ridiculous they sounded when they argued while still tired. You wanted your relationship to be normal again.

 

You straightened up when you heard a door open down the hallway. One of them was up.

You jumped out of bed, straightening your pajama pants and your purple cardigan over your body before giving yourself a quick glance in the mirror.

You thought being self-conscious in the brothers presence was a matter of the past, but for some reason right now you couldn’t afford to appear anything less than perfect to them. 

As if looking presentable would make them forgive you. Huh. You  _ wish  _ it was that easy.

 

You listened for the nearing footsteps, preparing yourself for whatever their reaction might be. 

Couldn’t be that bad, right? You could take some yelling and scolding. You weren’t particularly new to that sort of thing.

The familiar tired drag of socks across the floor confirmed that it was Dean and not Sam.

You took a deep breath.  _ Here goes nothing.. _

 

“Dean-”

The hunter didn’t even spare you a look, he simply walked passed you.

You felt that same unrelenting pain in your heart again as you watched his gray robe slip out of your sight and out of the hallway.

You swallowed down the tears that threatened to slip past your already puffy eyes and took a brave step forwards.

You weren’t going to give up that easily.

 

You walked towards the table with fake ease, reminding yourself to walk slowly and carefully so you wouldn’t accidently look as distressed as you really were.

You tried to smile, but when that didn’t work you settled for a typical poker face. You had a great teacher after all - even if he didn’t know that he had a student.

You observed said man as he poured himself boiling coffee into a ceramic mug. His eyes were focused on it the whole time - as if the action of pouring coffee was an extremely delicate and attention consuming task.

He was doing it on purpose.

As you hesitantly pulled a chair from the table and sat down, his eyes were anywhere but you.

It hurt, but you weren’t going to let him win.

You waited patiently until he finished the unusually long process of adding sugar and stirring it with a teaspoon he took an hour to find.

He couldn’t ignore you forever.

 

“Dea-”   
You felt your heart clench again when the hunter pulled out today’s newspaper and started reading it before you could even finish calling his name. He was holding it right in front of your face, casually taking a long sip out of his coffee.

Your eyes started getting a little wet, but with a lot of willpower you managed to stop yourself from outright crying.

You didn’t want to know what it felt like when Dean ignored you after seeing you cry. There was nothing more painful than having one of the only two people in the world who cared for you act like you didn’t exist.

 

If you were honest, giving you the silent treatment wasn’t exactly a tactic you’d expected the normally impulsive man to use. That seemed much more like Sam’s thing.

Just as you couldn’t imagine Sam yelling at you out of anger, you couldn’t really imagine Dean ignoring you as punishment. Or as whatever it was he was trying to achieve in doing this. 

Well, you couldn’t imagine it until now at least, but the way he easily turned a page in the paper was enough to convince you that maybe the man had more tricks up his sleeve.

 

“H-hey, Dean?”

You tried again, not willing to give up yet. He was different. He wasn’t your uncaring father, who beat you for not getting high enough grades and yelled at you whenever you defended your mom. Dean was special. He made sure you were making friends, made a habit out of sneaking you unhealthy snacks when Sam wasn’t around, picking you up from school with a big smile on his face - and damn it his heart was as big as the sun no matter how much he denied it. 

He became your safe place over the last couple of months. He and Sam were home.

He was worth the effort - even if you got hurt in the process.

 

Your will did waver a bit though when Sam walked out of the hallway and took a sit next to his brother without paying any attention to you. They exchanged a grumpy ‘Morning’ as Dean passed him a second cup of coffee. Both Winchesters were ignoring you now, not just one anymore.

 

“Guys?”   
You asked, trying to mask your uncertain voice with every last bit of courage you managed to master.

Again, you were met with complete silence.

“ _ Guys!” _

You asked again, this time louder than before. You basically yelled it out.

“Anything catch your eyes?”   
Sam asked Dean, acting like he never heard you talk. You watched with ice settling over your heart as the two of them kept up their usual morning routine between themselves.

You tried calling them again and again, but it was like you weren’t even there.

For the first time since they found you, the consuming feeling of being so completely alone threw you back into the black pit you spent so much time in after losing your mom. Everything was cold. Freezing.

Considering that, you had no idea where that spark of hot anger came from, but in two seconds you got up and snatched the paper out of Dean’s hands. 

Both brothers stared at you with surprise as you clenched it at your side.

You didn’t stop there though - you held it up and looked them right in the eye as you tore it apart piece by piece, letting it fall into the table.

 

Dean’s eyes quickly changed from shocked to angry, and the way he stood up so abruptly made you flinch in fear. You stood your ground though. You weren’t gonna move.

Sam stayed sitting, but even though he didn’t seem as furious as his brother, it was obvious whose side he was on.

 

“I did the right thing.”

You insisted, despite how scary it was for you to say something that you knew would drive Dean bonkers.

You were right. The hunter was around the table and in front of you in what felt like two humongous steps.

You took a step backwards when he quickly reached his hand towards your face, closing your eyes shut in absolute fear, awaiting the familiar sting across your cheek. Were you wrong about him? Was he just the same as your father?

 

It was quiet for a while. No one said a thing. You didn’t understand why the pain didn’t come.

You jumped when two fingers held your chin up all of a sudden.

You slowly opened your eyes, your breath catching when you saw Dean’s expression. It was a mix of disbelief and hurt.

Even if he wasn’t holding your face in place you wouldn’t have been able to look away.

 

“I would never hurt you.”

He whispered, sounding on the verge of tears himself.

 

“Jesus (Y\N), this is what it’s all about in the first place!”

His eyes stayed on you for a while until Sam put his hand gently on his shoulder. He seemed just as distraught as his brother.

Dean brought his hand up to cover his face, before sliding it down like he was wiping it. His fingers left your chin, and you could feel the loss of their warmth in the pit of your stomach.

 

“Let’s go.”

Sam said from beside him, and then switched his attention to you. He observed your puffy, tired eyes with worry that was hidden almost perfectly behind his expressionless face. Lucky for you, you knew him too well.

“We won’t be back till the evening. You don’t have to go to school today if you don’t want too.”

Before you could give him your answer he was already climbing up the stairs.

Dean gave you a tired look before following his brother.

Once again-

You were left alone.

________________________

 

You sat on by the table for a long hour, trying to come up with a way to fix the whole situation. Dean said ‘This is what it’s all about’, but you had no idea what ‘this’ thing was.

All you knew was that you had to fix it. 

You were glad they gave you the option to skip school because it gave you time to think of a plan to make it up to them. Somehow.

 

You started running equations in your head. It took you some time, but after a while the one that stood out the most was: Pie + Dean= Happy.

Salad + Sam= ? It seemed a bit ridiculous that salad would make anyone happy, to be honest. The first one might work though.

You hurried over to your room, grabbing your gray bag and throwing in your purse and your new phone.

The closest supermarket was only a 15 minute walk.

 

When you got there you stood by the glass door and tried to remember the ingredients you needed. Cooking wasn’t exactly one of your talents, but you swore to yourself that the pie would be the most delicious thing the brothers have ever tasted.

You strolled through the shelves, picking up stuff as you went. You lingered at the candy aisle, your hands itching to grab a handful for later.

You knew you wouldn’t have enough money though, so with a longing look you pushed your cart forward.

 

“Ouch.”

You jumped at the gruff voice coming from in front of you, bidding goodbye to the Mars bar you stared at before to face the person you just bumped your cart into.

The very familiar person you just bumped into.

“Castiel?!”

You exclaimed, wondering what in the name of god was an angel doing in the candy aisle of a supermarket.

“(Y\N)?”   
Big blue, oxygen-sucking eyes fell on you, looking both confused and surprised. You observed him as he picked up a bottle of milk from your cart.

“What are you doing?”

You asked, tilting your head to the side as he took off the cap and sniffed, practically shoving his nose inside, before screwing it back on and putting it back in place.

 

“You have to check if it’s expired or not before you drink it. I learned that in my time as a human.”   
He announced, looking proud of himself. 

“And you didn’t learn that you just need to look at the date?”   
It was Castiel’s turn to tilt his head in confusion this time, and the innocent expression on his face made you laugh.

“What?”

 

You quickly maneuvered yourself around the metal cart separating you from the angel so you could stand beside him as you picked up the very same milk bottle he did just seconds ago.

“Look,”

You offered gently, pointing at the date that was inked on the side. Castiel’s eyes followed your instructions as he gave the black numbers a long look.

“This is the date when it should expire.”

The angel observed the bottle for a couple more seconds before nodding.

 

“Thank you.”

You nodded back, a smile sticking to your lips. For an angel watching over earth he sure was clueless when it came to some things.

“What are you doing here anyways?”   
You asked curiously. You were pretty sure angels didn’t need to eat.

Castiel looked a little guilty all of a sudden.

 

“I thought of a way to make peace with Dean after… you know.”

“After what?”   
The troubled angel played with the handle of the cart, looking like he wanted to be anywhere else but standing right there in front of you.

“After I didn’t come rescue you when you were taken before.”

So the brothers  _ did _ try to call him. You couldn’t even try to hate him for not coming though. After all, you barely knew each other at all.  

The only person he mentioned he wanted to make up with was Dean. Well, seemed like the two of you were in the same boat.

It did make you wonder though…

 

“Why  _ didn’t _ you come?”

Castiel almost looked surprised at your question.

“You really don’t know who you are, do you?”   
His blue eyes were unnerving. 

“Never mind. Why are  _ you  _ here?”

The way he averted the subject so quickly made you suspicious, but you decided not to push it for now. You had bigger worries on your mind. Like Sam and Dean.

Maybe the angel could help. He  _ did _ know the brothers longer than you.

 

“I’m actually trying to make peace with Dean too. Sam  _ and  _ Dean. You wanna team up?”

You asked, watching his expression change back into it’s usually calm facade. 

“I believe that would be most beneficial for the two of us. Where do you suggest we begin?”   
You glanced at your cart, ticking off the ingredients you’ve already collected from the list you made in your head.

“Well.. we still need butter and eggs.”

Castiel gave you a small smile, before shooting you an unsure thumbs up. That got you to giggle a little.

Who would have thought you’d go shopping with a socially awkward angel someday?

 

The two of you kept your search for everything you needed with Castiel following you closely, as if he might get lost. Eventually you got everything you needed to complete the pie.

“We should get one of these.”

You glanced up at the trench coated angel behind you, blushing red when he held up a porno mag. At the look you gave him he hurried to explain.

 

“You might not know this because you are still young, but when men reach a certain age-”

“Stop stop! I know this already ok?”   
You exclaimed, your hands landing on your hot cheeks in embarrassment. Castiel only observed you with confusion.

“Let’s just get this over with..”

You mumbled, pushing the cart over to the cash desk. The cashier lady gave you a strange look when the angel stepped forward to put the porn mag in front of her.

 

“Uhh... sweetie? Do you know this man?”  

She asked, looking at Castiel suspiciously as he continued to unload stuff from the cart. You quickly nodded, making sure to keep a smile on your face.

“May I ask how?”   
You were about to make up some story, but Cas answered before you could.

 

“Well I’m good friends with the men who found her. Lucky thing, to be honest. The bunker really has the best water pressure I’ve ever experienced, and Sam makes the best PB&J sandwiches I’ve ever eaten. Well, when I was human that is. Now it just tastes like molecules-”

 

“HAHA! Such a joker!”   
You half yelled, doing your best to shut him up. He was only making this worse!

The cashier lady looked like she was ready to phone the cops.

“It’s not a bunker, it’s just a normal house really,”

You added, glaring at the angel at your side. He didn’t seem to get the message though.

 

“You shouldn’t underestimate the bunker, (Y\N). It’s got everything you need for a hunter’s life style. The dungeon is well equipped if I recall, and it’s also pretty remote. There’s not even a -” 

 

“Dungeon?!”   
The woman exclaimed, causing a few customers around her to gather. Oh no no no!

You quickly gathered everything into a bag before taking hold of Castiel’s arm.

“Run. When we’re hidden immediately zap us to the bunker.” You whispered assertively, before taking off towards the glass doors with a confused angel following toe.

When your bodies were fully covered behind a wall you  tightened your hold on Castiel’s trench coat.

“Now!”

______________________________________________________________________________

 

“That was close!”

 

You breathed out in relief. You were back in the bunker, Castiel calmly watching you sliding down a wall with exhaustion. 

You hastily picked the egg box out of the bag to check if they stayed in tact. You were glad to find only three broken eggs in total. Not too bad, considering how fast you were running.

 

“Well, better get to work.”

And work you did. It turned out cooking wasn’t one of Castiel’s talents either. The kitchen looked like it’s been through a storm. There was flour basically everywhere, broken eggs on the floor and in your clothes, and damn it in your hair too!

When you finally got to making the dough you were pretty much releasing all of your pent up frustration into it, almost punching it instead of molding it into a ball. 

 

At least you were doing better than the angel, who was currently thinking out loud exactly how much a ‘pinch’ was. He too was covered from head to toe with the sticky mess.

Needless to say - it took a while. There was no shortage of failed tries too, and you praised yourself for thinking ahead and buying almost twice the amount of ingredients. 

Finally though - you were done.

The two of you admired the fruit of your hard work with satisfaction. You had to admit it looked great. 

 

Castiel observed you with a gentle smile as you gushed over your creation.

“I think I get it now.”

The angel’s voice snapped you out of your overly excited state. You gave him a confused look, but instead of answering he simply ruffled your hair, making your cheeks redden.

You wiped your forehead with a big smile on your face as you picked the pie up to gently arrange it on the table. 

 

Suddenly you heard the door opening.

Oh no! You weren’t even done setting the table!

You quickly dusted yourself off, but everything still stayed glued to your shirt. When the boys came down the stairs you straightened up, putting a smile on your face.

 

“I made you pie!” 

You announced to the surprised hunters now standing in front of you. Dean gave the pie a longing look, but then put his poker face back on.

“Not hungry.”

You felt like you were just slapped as he made his way to his room, Sam following behind.

That’s it. You tried everything.  _ Everything. _

You lowered your head down, trying to hold the tears in.

They didn’t hate you,

Did they?

 

“You’re blaming her for something you’re supposed to be praising her for.”

Castiel’s voice made you look up again in surprise. Did he know about the whole Fenrir accident? Surely he wasn’t talking about the pie, right?

The angel was blocking out Dean’s way, looking more serious than you’ve ever seen him. The hunter glared at the obstacle in front of him

“Praise? You want me to praise her?!”

 

The look he gave you was so intense that you almost felt like running. 

“She almost got herself killed!”

You flinched at how loud and menacing those five words were spat out of his mouth. 

“She worries for you two just like you worry for her. Same goes for Gabriel. Why should she not have the right to protect those she cares about?”

Yup. He definitely knew. You were honestly surprised at just how much the angel was sticking up for you though. 

 

“Because she’s just a kid! She can’t defend herself against this kinds of stuff. No matter how much she cares - even if she comes out of it unharmed, she’ll just get in the way!”

 

That one hurt. Get in the way?!

“I didn’t get in the way! I helped!”

You yelled back, getting past Castiel to stand directly in front of Dean.

“You’re NOT supposed to help!”

Sam joined in, taking a step from behind his brother to glare at you with his unusually furious eyes.

You should have been scared. The two of them towered over you with their massive, threatening forms, but instead of running away you only found yourself getting angrier and angrier.

 

“Why? Because you say so?”   
You growled at Sam, challenging him.

“Yes, because he said so!”   
Dean growled back. You were now standing face to face (Well, face to chest) with both the brothers, the three of you glaring daggers at each other.

Suddenly Castiel stepped between you with his hands raised up.

 

“Look, I’m not saying let her hunt. I’m saying - coming to the aid of your loved ones in times of danger is a very courageous thing to do. It is something to be admired, not belittled.”

You straightened up at that. Yes. What you did was courageous. You weren’t stupid or wrong for disobeying them. 

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration, before turning around and punching a wall. You jumped in shock as you watched him slowly pulling his now bruised hand back. His back was to you.

You looked at his tense shoulders with renewed guilt. The harsh ‘Damn it.’ he mattered under his breath made your heart pang with hurt. 

You took a hesitant step towards him, your hand reaching forward.

He looked so fragile all of a sudden. 

 

“Don’t you understand (Y\N)? It doesn’t matter to us if you did the right thing or not.”

Your head snapped in Sam’s direction. His eyes were swimming with pain. You looked between the brothers with confusion, until it finally hit.

You swallowed down any fear you had left in you and kept walking.

Your hands gently landed on Dean’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to worry you.”

 

Dean slowly turned to face you, his eyes widening at the tears that finally managed to escape and were slowly sliding down your cheeks. He gently wiped them away with his thumb before enveloping you in a tight hug.

You started sobbing loudly into his shirt.

“Shhh sweetheart. It’s ok,”

He murmured into your hair, placing a quick kiss on your forehead.

Your wrapped your hands around his waist with everything you had, hearing Sam sigh in the background.

Finally, Dean pulled back to look at you. He had a small smile on his face and it lightened up your heart like nothing ever did.

 

“You know what? I think I actually am pretty hungry. How about some of that delicious looking pie?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys think? I'm sorry if this seemed a bit rushed. To be honest it kinda was, since I couldn't put as much time into it as I wanted to.


	15. What did he say we need to draw again?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Y\N) meets her art teacher. He's kind of weird.  
> The boys hunt down... well, what exactly...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this one! :)

“I don’t care if this thing can get us a lead or not. It’s  _ not  _ sitting in the back seat while I’m driving.”

Dean announced, his eyes scanning the ‘culprit’ of one of the most puzzling series of murders they’ve encountered yet.

“It’s a mannequin, right? Last time I checked mannequins aren’t supposed to be going around killing people. We  _ need _ to understand what makes this thing tick if we plan on hunting it down.”

Sam replied, trying to keep a straight face even though he too was pretty terrified of the out-of-a-horror-film like abomination in front of him. He would rather hunt down Chucky than a human sized, knife wielding mannequin.

 

The longer he looked at it the more he felt like it was staring right into his soul. 

Actually, sucking out his soul would be more accurate. 

No display mannequins came with accessories, but you know what? If they did, it would most likely be a bag or a stylish pair of sunglasses.  _ Not  _ a knife.

“What’re you planning to do with it anyways? Autopsy it? Use it as a blow-up doll?”

The older Winchester joked, giving his brother one of his overused taunting smirks. 

Sam rolled his eyes, taking a few hesitant steps forward towards the mannequin to observe it in more detail. A cocky smile made it up his lips as he turned his head around.

“She’s  _ your  _ type!”

He teased, taking hold of a strand of the fake blond hair resting on ‘her’ head. 

As he was letting go of it he noticed that it too had blood covering it.

“Eww.”

He quickly wiped it off on mannequin’s pink flowery dress, glaring at the smug grin his brother was sporting. 

 

“Just shut up and help me figure this thing out.”

Dean made a face at that, but nonetheless walked over to stand beside Sam, who was currently snapping pictures of their ‘suspect’ on his phone.

“Damn little brother, we better get you some action and fast. Get yourself a ‘honey’ or a ‘babe’, just not a ‘doll’, ok?”   
Sam finally put his phone back inside his pocket, turning to glare at his brother again.

“See what I did there? Doll, because it’s literally a doll and,”

Dean started proudly, but then stopped when he got a load Sam’s annoyed expression.

 

“(Y\N) would’ve laughed…”

He grumbled. 

Ignoring his brother once again, Sam walked over to one of the officers at the scene. The guy was in his fifties and looked very much done with his job. Couldn’t really blame him..

The tall hunter observed quietly as he interviewed one of the guys who worked at the clothing store. 

He didn’t know what the dude was telling him, but whatever it was it seemed to be really ticking him off. He was all skepticism and annoyance.

 

“I’m telling the truth! They don’t manufacture them this way ok? They aren’t supposed to be bending that way!”

The worker exclaimed. Sam had to admit that the guy had a point. The way the mannequin was wielding the knife seemed very specific. 

The younger Winchester jumped when Dean suddenly set his hand on his shoulder. 

 

“Remember bendy Becky the lead of the cheerleaders in high school? Turns out she wasn’t spending all that money on dancing lessons for nothing. I thought she wasn’t supposed to bend  _ that  _ way too, If you know what I mean...”

The older hunter wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, as if it somehow made the already super obvious even more obvious. 

“Dean… Focus.”

 

“Do you gentlemen need any assistance?”

Both brothers turned their attention towards the officer. The middle aged man walked over to them like he was in a hurry, trying to evade the worker he was questioning before.

His already graying hair took on a silvery shade as he stepped into the light, making him look even older and Sam couldn’t help but think that the worker had part in it somehow. 

 

“Actually yes.”

Dean answered. 

“Agents Castle and Beckett. We were wondering if you could fill us in on what exactly happened here?”   
The two of them exchanged a quick handshake.

“Sheriff Montgomery. I was hoping you two could help me figure it out actually. All we know currently is that sometime around midnight yesterday this poor bastard was locking up, and somehow ended up brutally stabbed to death.”

The Sheriff pointed over at the victim, his eyes not really following the same direction. He was looking at the ground instead, shaking his head and letting out a tired sigh.

 

“Some psycho decided to give the local paper something interesting to write about.”

He added bitterly. Sam nodded, observing the butchered man on the floor with furrowed brows. 

He was old. Sixty something at least. His shirt was stained with drying blood, the torn holes revealing the deep cuts the nasty knife made on his skin. 

Poor guy.

“Were you able to identify the victim?”

He asked. The Sheriff looked like he was fighting a battle with himself before answering.

“I know the guy. Well, distantly anyways. His name is Mark Travers. I know his daughter. I was her TO when she graduated from the academy.”

 

Dean nodded, looking at the man with pity.

“I have no idea how I’m going to break the news to her. She just went on a vacation in Hawaii too,”

Sadness was laced in his voice.

“I’m sorry..”

Montgomery looked at Sam when he said that, and the hunter caught a spark of determination in his eyes. It was like the bags under his eyes got just a little bit lighter for a second there.

 

“Yeah, well help me catch this piece of shit and we’ll make his sorry ass rot in jail. That sound good to you agents?”

Dean let a light chuckle slide past his lips.

 

“You can count on us. When we’re done with him his ass will be  _ very _ sorry.”

 

______________________________________________________________________________

 

You picked up your pencil for what felt like the hundredth time, only to let it fall back onto your little notebook again.

Art assignments were hard, you decided.

The only instructions you got were: Draw what a certain object made you feel and think about. 

Now what the hell was up with that? You’ve been staring at the damn coffee machine for two hours straight, and so far the only thing that popped into your mind was the one time Dean spilled milk all over himself when he reached for a beer bottle on the shelf to his right and accidently hit the mug he was using in the process.

Sure, it was hilarious, but drawing this particular scene would require a set of skills you’ve never had in the first place.

 

You should have asked Yuuki to help you. He drew a lot. He was super artistic!

Must have been a piece of apple pie for him. He was talented. Like,  _ mega _ talented.

You sighed in defeat.

Well, the due date  _ was _ a whole week from now.. Maybe you could just do it tomorrow instead. 

 

Dropping the pencil down for the last time today, you stood up, stretching your arms and letting out a quiet yawn.

Your stomach started to rumble a little, and you started making your way over to the kitchen when the sound of the front door opening made you stop. You turned around quickly, going back on your tracks and up the stairs so fast you were practically sprinting towards the hunters.

One brother was holding a cardboard box and the other a paper bag. You recognized the Domino's Pizza logo on the box and couldn’t help your little jump of excitement. All of that staring made you hungry somehow. Wierd. 

 

“You’re back!”   
You exclaimed, running over to Sam and holding yourself from tackling him to the ground. 

Ever since the whole Fenrir accident you felt like you needed reassurance that you were wanted here with the boys. That they didn’t come to hate you after everything you did, because when you finally realized exactly what they were angry at you for, you couldn’t deny the guilt any longer. It was a week and a half later and you still got random waves of shame hitting you out of nowhere.

 

Sam gave you a gentle smile, quickly laying the paper bag down on the floor. Warmth flooded your heart when he opened his arms.

You took a hesitant step forward, tilting your head up to look at him. Your eyes met and the understanding in his expression was so genuine that for a second there you could almost believe the guy had some kind of a mind reading ability.

Instead of waiting for you to wrap your hands around him, Sam squished you towards his chest, ruffling your hair fondly.

 

“How was your day, little Winchester?”   
  


Somehow the tall hunter knew  _ exactly  _ what to say. Always.

I mean, jesus, you now had tears in your eyes. You had no idea how to react to that. All you could do was hug him tighter and hope he didn’t notice you were on the verge of crying. You barely managed to answer without your voice quivering.

 

“Guys I’m hungry. Can we save the hugs for later?”

Dean whined, already at the table. 

Sam gave you another tight squeeze before releasing you. He picked the paper bag up again, pulling out a bottle of orange juice and handing it over to you.

You accepted it with a wide smile. 

“Coming,”

Sam replied, making his way over to his brother with you following close behind.

 

When you were all seated, each munching away on your own slice of pizza, you decided that it was too quiet. You knew you couldn’t ask them how  _ their  _ day was going, so you settled for talking about your own.

“So.. I had my first art class today,”

You started. Dean looked up from his pizza.

“Oh yeah?”   
You nodded, slurping down some of your orange juice. 

“We have the weirdest teacher though!”

 

Mr. Bambang was weird alright. Starting with his name, to the way he dressed, to the fact that he literally walked around at lunch time giving students slices of his homemade, hard as stone chiffon bread. 

Apparently he sewed everything he wore by himself, and he somehow managed to find the most random patterns too. 

Today he wore a tunic top with freaking red elephants embroidery on it, paired with very large, very baggy pants that almost gave the illusion that he was wearing a diaper underneath, and those pants were covered with blue polka dots. Yup.

To top it all off, he wore sandals with socks. 

Sandals. With. Socks.

Wasn’t that like a sin in the fashion industry or something?

 

“We were supposed to draw, but I had no idea where to even start,”

You began, recalling the moment in your head. After he left Yuuki and you couldn’t stop laughing about it.

“He looked at my blank page and was like ‘What do you see? Do you see red? Do you see yellow?”

“I was like ‘I don’t see anything.’ I mean, the page is blank, where the hell did he see yellow? He told me that I should ‘Go with the flow of the page’, that I picked this very specific paper out of the bunch because we have a ‘Connection’,”

 

“I think you just found Sam’s future best friend.”

Dean piped up, picking another slice out of the box. You smiled as you watched Sam munching on his pizza angrily. 

“He kept talking about seeing fairies and little dwarves in his garden too,”

You added. 

The brothers exchanged amused smirks.

“Well I don’t know about the dwarves but…”   
  


Your mouth dropped open. 

“Fairies exist?!”   
Dean shoved the last piece of pizza into his mouth before standing up. He tugged on his shirt, brushing off some crumbs that gathered on it.

 

“They exist alright, and their biggest weakness is microwaves.”

______________________________________________________________________________ 

 

Sam sat on the sofa, scouring the web for similar cases to the one they were working on. (Y\N) was sleeping away in his lap, splayed out and snoring softly beneath his laptop. 

Over time he realized that she always snored. 

Dean made fun of it in the beginning, but she didn’t seem to mind. She had enough dirt on him if she really wanted to strike back.

The whole position wasn’t very comfortable though, to be completely honest. His legs were falling asleep on him, but he didn’t have the heart to tell her no after she insisted that the laptop was warm anyways and she didn’t mind it on her back. 

 

The hunter was subconsciously running his fingers through her hair when he noticed his brother slip into the room with a book in hand.

“Find anything?”   
Dean asked, eyeing the sleeping girl in Sam’s lap. He rolled his eyes at the sounds coming from her, but couldn’t help the small, amused smile on his face when she scrunched up her nose adorably and tightened her little hands around his brother’s waist.

 

Sam shook his head, before rubbing the back of his neck. His eyes narrowed on the screen for a brief moment.

“Well, maybe..? I’m not sure.”   
Dean plopped down beside him, gently lifting (Y\N)’s legs from the sofa and arranging them on his own lap. She stirred a little, but the especially loud snore she produced out of nowhere told him she was still very much asleep.

 

“Let me see,”

The older Winchester said, taking the laptop into his hands.

“Murder in the wax museum?”

Sam nodded, pointing at a picture of the victim. Again - it was stabbing, and again - it was someone who worked there. A security guard

“This is getting more and more creepy.”

Dean murmured.

“A mannequin and a wax figure. Something’s making inanimate objects kill.”

Sam sighed.

“Well that’s a new one.”

Dean nodded in agreement.

“We should head down there, talk with the other employees. Maybe someone saw something.”   
  


“Sounds good. Did you get the footage of the security camera from the clothing store?”   
Sam asked, trying to keep his voice close to a whisper, even though he knew the girl was a deep sleeper. Better safe than sorry.

“I did. Corrupted. Whoever did this is no idiot.”

 

“Great. Just great..”   
______________________________________________________________________________

 

You woke up in your bed, covered with your favorite warm blanket. The bunker was quiet. 

The boys were probably out.

You wiped the sleep out of your eyes as you got out of your bed. What hour was it?

“7:00 in the morning, Thursday.”

You jumped at the familiar gruff voice. Castiel was standing at the entrance of your room, looking a little awkward in a… in a freaking apron??

 

“What are you doing here?”   
You asked, letting your eyes wander to the sticky mess covering the fabric. He had some flour in his hair, and you dusted it off when you were standing close enough. He was tall, but he was nothing compared to the brothers, so you managed to reach his head without too much trouble.

 

“Sam and Dean are busy with a case, and they asked me to make sure you ate and got to school safely.”

Determined blue eyes gazed down at you, making you feel a little uncomfortable. You took a small step back, intertwining your hands behind your back.

“I made you pancakes and packed your bag.”

Castiel announced proudly, gesturing to your backpack which seemed heavier than usual. It looked like it was going to burst at any second.

Pancakes sounded amazing right now, but you knew it wasn’t exactly wise to expect good cooking out of someone who could only taste molecules. Nevertheless you appreciated the effort he put into it, if the dirty apron was any proof.

“T-Thank you Castiel,”

 

“No problem.”

He answered. His face was scrunched in concentration for some reason. He looked a little disappointed with himself.

“I mean…”

He started, looking fierce all of a sudden, like he was preparing for battle. 

 

“Yo bruh! You can call me Cas! Bitches be cray cray, am I right? Uptop!” 

You stared at the angel in front of you in shock as he held his hand up for a high five. 

If this was a cartoon, your jaw would be on the ground right now. 

Castiel kept his hand up, looking at you with expectation. 

When you didn’t do anything he lowered it back down, looking at it in confusion. Like it was broken or something. 

He tilted his head to the side. You almost lost it when he turned it around to look at the back of it.

 

“Cas…?”

You squeaked, trying not to burst out laughing. You didn’t want to hurt his feelings. He was trying so hard to be ‘hip’ and all.

“Yes?”

You hurried over to your desk, taking out a pink box of wipes you had Sam buy for you a while ago. You tugged one out and then stood back in front of the angel, who was now just observing you quietly. 

You gently wiped away reminders of an egg that somehow made it onto his nose.

“Just be yourself, ok?”

 

____________

 

You ended up making pancakes again from scratch. Yes, you were pretty bad at cooking, but this much you could manage.

The two of you then sat down to eat. Well, you ate anyways. He just watched, which was a little hard to get used to at first.

Having anyone stare at you was weird. Having  _ Castiel _ stare at you however, was much, much weirder. Those damn air-sucking eyes were staring straight into your soul.

 

“I’m done!”

You announced, quickly downing a glass of water before getting up and picking up your bag. It was heavy as all hell, but you didn’t want to say anything. You just wondered what he put in there that made it this way in the first place..

“Ready to go?”   
The angel asked. You nodded. 

Before you could say anything his finger connected with your fore head, and in less than a second you found yourself standing in front of the school’s gate.

 

The whole teleporting thing still left you shocked every time you experienced it.

“Thanks.”

You said, turning around to where you thought Castiel would be, only to find that you were alone. 

You wondered if he’d be at the bunker when you’d return from school. That could be fun. You were starting to really like the socially awkward angel.

  
  


It was art class, and you were standing next to your blank canvas once again. Yuuki was painting away to your left. He had a peaceful smile on his lips that contradicted pretty much  _ everything  _ you were feeling.

Mr. Bambang was walking around between the rest of your classmates, lingering to say a word or two every now and then. His long robe dragged against the floor, but he didn’t seem to mind the fact that it was slowly gathering more dirt and paint as he went.

You looked over to your best friend.

 

“Psst, Yuuki,”   
You whispered, trying to draw his attention from his painting for a moment. His eyes met yours in question.

“What did he say we need to draw again?”   
You honestly couldn’t remember. Mr. Bambang never gave straight to the point, easy to understand instructions. It was always something complex.

 

“Think of something you passed by on your way to school and draw life from it’s perspective.”

“What??”   
You whispered back. What the hell did that even mean? You tried to understand - you really did. It was just impossible though. 

“Say you passed by a tree today,”   
Yuuki started, his paintbrush hovering above his canvas. 

“Try to imagine what that tree  _ sees _ . You know - figuratively speaking, not literally,”

 

You felt stupid.  _ Really  _ stupid. Was it only you? The rest of the class seemed to have no trouble at all. Even Adam and his two minions were doing fine. 

“Having trouble?”

Mr. Bambang’s voice made you flinch. You slowly turned around, expecting to find a frown or some trace of anger in his eyes now that he saw that you didn’t even draw one line on your canvas, but instead he simply smiled. His eyes creased at the sides.

“Beginnings are always difficult.”

His tone was calm and patient. You let out a sigh of relief. 

He wasn’t annoyed with you.

 

“I… don’t really understand the instructions.”   
You explained, feeling more relaxed now that you knew that there was no danger of scolding anymore.

Mr. Bambang furrowed his eyebrows, looking like he was in deep thought. After a lot of unintelligible murmuring he looked like he got the answer he was looking for. It was like a light bulb popped above his head.

 

“Imagine that you’re a flower, and instead of real sun rays you only get synthetic light from a fluorescent lamp. What do you think will happen to you?”

He asked.

“Uhh.. I guess, I will wither?” 

You couldn’t wait to see where he was going with this. I mean, the guy looked like he just had an epiphany. 

 

“Exactly. Sometimes, in order to bloom, you need to wither first. When you wither you realize what’s bad for you. You can then avoid it. When you bloom, you realize what’s good for you. You can then seek more of it.”

 

Yuuki and you exchanged confused looks. There he goes again with another one of his weird phrases. It was an okay saying, but it didn’t have anything to do with anything. 

 

“You need to know both of those things if you really want to create something new.”

Mr. Bambang finished. 

Create something new as in.. the painting you were supposed to finish this lesson?

 

“Wither as in fail, and bloom as in succeed? You could have just said ‘you need to try so you could realize what you do bad and work on it, and what you do good so you can keep doing more of it’. That’s a much more simple way to explain it.”

Yuuki’s confident voice surprised you. He almost  _ never  _ talked in class. 

 

“This is turning into a philosophy lesson!”   
Adam pointed out from a few easels in front of you. Soon voices joined him, Benjamin Bitten and his other half being the loudest ones among them.

The class was becoming really noisy.

“Ok, ok, calm down everybody. Let’s just focus on our paintings-”

The sound of the bell cut Mr. Bambang off, signaling the much awaited lunch break.

 

Everyone hurried out of the classroom, leaving only Yuuki, the teacher and you. 

Everything was quiet. You all just stood there awkwardly, not really knowing what to do or what to say.

“So.. what was it about the little dwarves in your backyard?”

You finally asked. 

 

“Oh these are actually my garden gnomes. They move at night.”

______________________________________________________________________________ 

 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure how I feel about this chapter.. tell me what you guys think!  
> I wanted to write a more laid back\comedic kind of chapter after all the drama in the last two. The only problem is that most of the time when I think something is funny it ends up only being funny in my head.  
> Anyways, hope you enjoyed! 
> 
> Once again, comments are super appreciated. Especially because I honestly can't tell if it was good enough or not..


	16. Double puppy eyes attack - ACTIVATE!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, I've been super busy lately. It ended up kinda short, but it's better this than nothing at all!  
> Hope you enjoy reading :)

It was just another sunny Thursday. You and the boys were sitting by the table, enjoying your lunch. Well, Dean and you were enjoying it anyways. Sam was still sending his brother mean looks for getting fast food again instead of something healthier. 

You happily chewed down what was left of your hamburger as you watched Dean lick his lips before taking another bite of his own.

 

“So how did that last hunt go? Killer mannequins gave you too much trouble?”

You asked, making two pairs of angry eyes fall on you. You knew you weren’t supposed to go snooping around in their notes, but you couldn’t help it. Besides - it was harmless. Right?

“(Y\N)... How many times do I have to tell you…?”

The older Winchester growled, shaking his head in annoyance. 

 

“It’s  _ your _ fault for leaving it all out in the open. I just happened to walk by.”   
You defended, receiving a tired sigh in response.

Sam focused his hazel, scolding eyes on you. It was in those moments when you really realized the difference in authority between you and the brothers. Even sitting, the younger Winchester was towering over you, making you feel small and powerless. 

You straightened up in an effort to somehow match his intimidating form. 

 

The giant opened his mouth as if to say something, but in the end decided to close it again. His intense gaze made you shrink a little in your chair.

His eyes held that same kind of emotion you saw before. The same emotion he was trying to hide after the Gabriel incident.

You lowered your eyes, staring at the table. You fiddled with your fingers nervously.

“I’m… sorry.”

 

You hated the way you were feeling. Guilty. Like you just murdered a puppy or something.

Silence filled the room. Dean stopped munching on his hamburger, Sam put down his fork, and you held your breath, scared you’d miss your reply.

You jumped when Sam caught your chin between his thumb and a rough finger, bringing your head up to look at him.

Oh. There we go.. Another fight was coming. You were tired of fighting with the boys over this. 

The hunter surprised you when instead of scolding you like you expected him too, he planted a firm kiss on your forehead.

 

He then pulled back, standing up and making his way to his room. You were left staring at his back as he disappeared into the hallway.

What the…?

______________________________________________________________________________

 

You sat on the sofa with your history textbook nestled against your folded knees. There was no subject you disliked more than history. 

Not because the material itself. Not because of the period of time you were learning about. Not because you were given  _ way  _ too much homework.

You could deal with all of those just fine.

What you couldn’t deal with, or more accurately  _ who  _ you couldn’t deal with was Mr. Banks. 

The dude could be talking about alien wars and rainbow-pooping unicorns, and you’d still fall asleep from boredom.

 

You forced yourself to read the next line in the textbook even though you felt like getting up and banging your head against a wall.

It felt like your brain was constipated, and you didn’t care how ridiculous that sounded. 

_ “ _ _ the major participants threw their entire economic, industrial, and scientific capabilities behind the war effort, erasing the distinction between civilian and military resources-” _

Bla bla bla bla…

_ “The situation reached a general crisis in late August as German troops continued to mobilise against the Polish border. “ _

You couldn’t remember  _ anything  _ from class, so nothing you read made sense. 

 

“Need help?”

Sam’s voice snapped you out of your excruciating mission to get to the end of the page.

The tall man settled beside you on the sofa before you could answer, his weight tilting the cushions. 

You looked up at him as he grabbed the textbook out of your hands. His eyes scoured the page for a couple of quick minutes.

 

“Where are you stuck?”

Where to even start? It’s been two weeks since you started learning about world war 2 and you learned just about nothing. 

It wasn’t your fault - Mr. Banks’s voice could lull a vicious tiger to sleep in about three sentences. 

You let out a sigh of defeat.

 

“We’ll start from the beginning then..”

Sam announced, turning a page and another until he found the one he was looking for.

“I’ll go easy on you. In what year did world war 2 begin and in what year did it end?”

You scrunched up your forehead in concentration. You sucked at remebering dates.

“It began in 1939…?”   
Sam nodded in approval.

“And it ended in 1944?”

The hunter shook his head. “Close..”   
“1945?”

Your tutor gifted you with one of his adorable dimpled smiles, and you felt like you just won the lottery.

 

You quickly straightened up on the sofa, your hands landing on your knees. Sam grinned again at your new-found interest in the subject. 

Without delaying any longer, the hunter shot off a couple more questions.

It became kind of like a game. Every time you would answer a question right he would ruffle your hair and you’d bask in his praise. If you got a question wrong, he’d simply go over the material again and explain it to you. No one was ever this patient with you. 

Back at home you wouldn’t even dare to ask any questions, since if you didn’t know the answers yourself, you would always be made to feel stupid.

 

Sam was different though, and there was no better feeling than having him proud of you. 

In just one hour you have learned almost everything you didn’t manage to understand in class.

You were actually starting to like History.

“I never knew learning could be so much fun!”

You informed your new favorite teacher as he turned another page in your textbook. He lowered it into his lap so he could look at you.

He seemed just a tad bit surprised.

 

“Well, you’re a fast learner,”

He praised, a gentle smile spreading on his face.The amount of warmth that surrounded your heart as a result of it made you want to jump in place. Your legs were restless and you shifted from side to side, not really knowing what to do until you finally settled for throwing yourself into his arms.

He pressed you against his chest, and for a while there you just stayed cuddled up in his lap.

 

“(Y\N)?”   
You tilted your head up to look at him.

“Hmm?”   
You murmured, feeling a little sleepy inside your warm cocoon.

Sam seemed unsure if he wanted to continue or not, his eyes scouting the room carefully, kind of like you would look left and right at a crossing to see if any cars are coming your way before you kept going forwards.

 

“How do you feel about learning self defence?”   
The question honestly caught you off guard. The brothers were always so hell bent on keeping you away from anything that could be even remotely dangerous for you. What made them change their mind?   
“Not… not for actual fighting, you know. Just in case.”

He hurried to clarify, probably figuring out exactly what you were thinking. 

 

“I.. um.. I guess I wouldn’t mind a few lessons. As long as you go easy on me,”   
Sam was a formidable foe. Trained, experienced, and twice your size if not even more. You did  _ not  _ want to find out what the hunter would be like if he was serious about beating you in a wrestling match. Not in the slightest.

Said hunter let out a throaty chuckle at the sudden waves of tension rolling off your body. His hands settled on your shoulders, fingers digging into your flesh. 

“I’ll try to be  _ gentle…” _

Ok. That was definitely your cue to retreat to your room. 

“Uh haha… well I have homework to do in other subjects,”

You squeaked, jumping out of his lap in a hurry. 

Before you could get away though, a big hand wrapped around your arm.

You slowly turned around. He didn’t plan on starting these lessons  _ now _ did he…?

 

“(Y\N),”

He started, looking a little uncomfortable. His eyes wandered around the room once again.

You tilted your head to the side in question.

 

“Don’t tell Dean about this, ok?”

______________________________________________________________________________

  
  


It started small: An innocent comment about how unrealistic Vampire Diaries was -‘ _ If you really want to gank a vampire, ripping out their heart ain’t the best way to go about it. You need to behead them.’ _

As he passed by you when you were playing a first person shooting game, you got a full explanation on which guns are the best for which situations. 

When you mentioned that you didn’t believe in objects being possessed by evil spirits, you received yet another speech about the subject.

 

You probably wouldn’t have minded if it wasn’t for the fact that his suspicious brother seemed to be catching on.

You weren’t even surprised. 

Guess no matter how close you are with your siblings, there’s always going to be things you’d rather lie about. Dean was well aware of that fact.

 

Currently you were curled up on the sofa with Dean’s laptop, watching yet another episode of the weirdest anime you’ve ever watched - all thanks to your over enthusiastic best friend.

Sam just happened to pass by when a very crucial scene was playing:

 

You stared at the screen, mouth agape as you watched the main character find out that he has been abducted by aliens. Aliens that were playing their Nintendo DS when it stopped working. Aliens that turned the main character’s dick into a screwdriver to fix it.

“What the hell are you watching?!”

 

Sam exclaimed from over your shoulder. You let out a nervous laugh.

“Uhh.. Gintama..?”   
Damn Yuuki and his weird obsessions.

“Is that an Anime?”   
Dean piped up from the war table a few meters away. Dean watched anime?

“You shouldn’t be watching this at your age!”   
  


_ Oooh.  _ Of  _ course _ . He didn’t watch anime. He watched anime  _ porn. _

You sighed. 

“You know, even a screwdriver could be used as a weapon-”

Sam started, but was cut off by the loud sound of Dean getting up and pushing his chair out of the way.

“Ok that’s it. What are you doing?”   
Sam looked the other way, avoiding his brother’s angry eyes.

 

“Doing what?”   
He asked innocently. He was pretending to be watching the craziness playing on the laptop.

Dean strode over to the sofa, the familiar deep crease above his eyebrow announcing it’s presence.

“Oh come on Sam!”   
He huffed, bringing his hand up to mess with his spiky hair. Two more steps and he was right in front of the two of you.

You couldn’t help but catch the way the now very much younger brother was backing up behind the sofa.

 

“Look.. I’m just saying, I think it’s a good idea if she knows the basics,”

You were glad you weren’t the one those green eyes were focusing on.

“The basics, huh?”   
He spat those words out like they were poisonous.

The hunter behind you seemed to be getting less and less comfortable with where the conversation was going.

“Don’t look at me like that! I’m not saying we should take her on hunts, but-”

 

“But what??”

Dean growled out. You looked between the two men in worry. 

“Guys?”   
The older hunter only had to throw a hand gesture and you immediately closed your mouth.

“Dean, regardless if she was living with two hunters or if she was just a simple teenager - anyone could benefit from learning to defend themselves.”

Can’t argue with that. Well, maybe Dean could, but you hoped he would realize Sam was just pointing out a valid point.

 

“She shouldn’t have to,”

His eyes were now cast downwards, and his tone was pretty low and quiet.

Sam finally stepped out from behind the sofa, making his way next to you and in front of his brother.

He looked like he was considering his next steps very cautiously. 

“She.. shouldn’t have to, but the reality is - she might. Now I don’t know about you but,”   
A big hand closed around your shoulder.

“I’d rather be safe than sorry.”

 

You had to admit - you were with Sam on this one. You wanted to be prepared. Less helpless in dangerous situations. Especially if the brothers weren’t around to save the day, and especially if being kidnapped was going to be something you were going to get used to.

You laid your own hand on top of Sam’s, looking up at Dean with your best puppy dog eyes. You didn’t even have to look at the man at your side to know that he was doing the same.

“This isn’t fair! You can’t- you can’t just-”

 

The older Winchester started, his eyes switching from you to Sam, to basically anywhere  _ but _ you and Sam.

The way he was struggling had you smiling victoriously, and maybe even a bit evilly. 

_ Soon…  _

You innocently tilted your head down, looking up like an abandoned little kitten begging to be picked off the street. 

You could see he was starting to break by the way he desperately tried to feign ignorance.  _ Just a little more now. _

You brought up your hand to take a hold of his shirt, pulling his attention back towards you.

“Please…?”   
  


“Oh for the love of- fine!”

You grinned, meeting Sam’s eyes as the two of you high fived. You didn’t miss his quiet ‘I  _ am  _ a good teacher, aren’t I?’

________________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you guys think?  
> I'm really hoping I can keep updating at the same rate but I think I'ts gonna take me longer from here on out, since I'm joining the army next month. No idea if people know this or not so I'mma say this just in case, but in Israel when you finish highschool you go straight to the army.   
> Lucky me though, I just found out that my best friend got the exact same position as me, so we're gonna be together through the whole thing! (boot camp too!).   
> I'll do my best to write as much as I can between shifts. We still get time for hobbies, so it's not like I'm not gonna update anymore so don't worry. It just won't be every week.
> 
> Anyways, hope you enjoyed! :)


	17. Well, today is the 30th of November.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Self defence' lessons your ass! This is just boring!  
> What's that? Sam, what did you just say...??

“Damn it (Y\N), we’ve been over this!”  
Exclaimed Dean. Again his hand covered yours in tight grip as he ‘helped’ you reassemble the mini gun he picked up for your new least favorite activity - the Winchester’s self defence class.  
It was the most you’ve ever had to memorise, remember or otherwise learn in such a short amount of time.

Sam taught you about monsters, ghosts etc, and trained you on hand to hand (more like ass to floor) combat, while Dean was mostly in charge of teaching you about weapons.  
It was week two into ‘Hunter’s school’ as you nicknamed it, and by now you were honestly starting to regret siding with Sam on the whole thing.   
“Slide the barrel into the slide, insert the spring into the hole, put the Slide back onto the frame, push down on those little levers,”

He continued, his fingers circling the area he wanted you to focus on. His voice was rough and laced with annoyance, and it made you want to run back inside.  
“From both sides yeah? Now slide it back,”  
You were about to lose it completely. There were too many parts and you felt extremely dumb.  
You reached your own fingers hesitantly to where your mentor was showing you, jumping a little when instead of just letting you feel your way around, Dean decided to take the more aggressive approach.

“There. Now keep it in place.”  
Not like you could move your fingers anyways with his own holding them down.   
“Dean,”  
You started, but the hunter brushed you off, mattering a dominant “Focus.” before you could finish your sentence.

You’ve been out trying to figure this out for what felt like hours now, and that’s after a very exhausting wrestling match with Sam. It wasn’t even a match to be honest, it was just you running away and trying to avoid getting hit.   
You hoped Sam would go easy on you like he said he will, but you were pretty sure he only told you that so you won’t chicken out in the last minute.

“Are you even listening?”  
Out of a nervous instinct, you quickly nodded. Dean didn’t seem too happy with that. The way his eyes bore into you made you shiver. He could be seriously scary when he was angry.  
Finally, he let out a defeated sigh.  
“Let’s take a break.”

You felt your stomach twisting and turning. Was he disappointed in you?  
Dean laid the gun down on the table along with the other discarded parts, his back to you.   
“How’s the lesson coming along guys?”  
Sam’s voice emerging from the door made something in you relax. Yes, he was a strict teacher, but he had an impressive amount of patience.

The tall man made his way to you, eyeing your slightly shaking hands. He looked between you and his brother who was completely ignoring his question so far. His eyes narrowed.  
“Ow!”  
Dean yelped, rubbing the back of his head where his brother just struck him.   
You stared, eyes wide as Sam towered threateningly over him, his hands crossed in front of his chest. He had this glint of disappointment in his hazel eyes, and for a second there you wondered if Dean really was the older brother.

“What was that for?!”  
Said older brother complained, only to have Sam roll his eyes in reply.  
A sturdy hand found its way to your back, and you tried to dig your legs into the ground when you realized it was pushing you in Dean’s direction.  
You snapped your eyes back in a pleading gaze, but the determined hunter paid you no mind.

“Look at her.”  
You really wished he hadn’t said that.   
Dean ran a hand over his face in frustration, making sure to fix Sam with his meanest glare.   
An intense staring contest began above your head between the two hunters, and you could almost imagine waves of electricity colliding and clashing in the middle. Kind of like the two of them were shooting laser beams at each other out of their eyes. Scary...

“I’m looking.”  
Dean finally announced. You tried to take a step backwards, but Sam wouldn’t allow it.   
You lowered your eyes, pouting. He was looking right at you.  
“Well?”  
You heard Sam questioning from behind you.  
Dean’s eyes roamed your small form from head to toe, guilt slowly starting to take it’s place in those familiar greens.

He scratched the back of his neck nervously.  
“I guess I might’ve been a little too harsh on you..”  
Dean addressed you sheepishly. Something about the tough, badass hunter showing this soft side of him made you want to whip out a camera and snap a few pictures to embarrass him with later.  
That’s some good ammo.

You shifted your weight from leg to leg, a little tiny smile forming on your lips. You were glad Dean had someone so understanding as his brother. Not that Dean wasn’t observant - quite the contrary actually. It just that he focused on very different things.  
He could get very caught up with ideas and tasks, while Sam was very much focused on the moment and making sure everyone around him was doing ok. No wonder really, he had a stubborn older brother who could insist he was fine while on the verge of tears.

“How.. how about we go eat lunch and come back to it later? I could make you my special hamburgers,”

Dean offered, his hand reaching forward for you to take and his tone gentle and soothing. His way of apologizing.   
You didn’t care what he wanted everyone to think - the man was a softie beneath that thick skin he had to grow due to his harsh upcoming.  
Sam’s hand finally retreated from your back, giving your hair a quick ruffle and heading out the door. His walk seemed somehow just a little more cheerful than usual now that he accomplished his goal.

You caught the big hand in yours, giving the hunter in front of you a big smile which he returned with one of his own.  
“As long as you convince Sam that I won’t have to eat his oil-free salad.”  
Dean smirked.  
“You drive a hard bargain missy. I’ll see what I can do.”  
______________________________________________________________________________

“How about we go on a little vacation, huh? Just a couple of days.”  
Sam’s unexpected suggestion made you stop with your hamburger halfway to your mouth and Dean choke on his beer.  
The two of you stared at the tall Winchester as if he had just lost his mind.  
The Winchesters on a vacation? Now that was a good one.

“I’m serious. Don’t you think we deserve it?”  
Sam kept chewing his salad, as if he didn’t just say something so absurd.   
You may have been with the brothers for only 4-5 months, but you were pretty damn certain vacationing was not something they did. Like ever.  
To be honest, back at home it wasn’t something that was ever on the table either.

As if the younger hunter could sense the intense stares shot his way, Sam straightened up in his chair. He looked like he was preparing for a fight, but it was obvious he wasn’t really up to it.  
You turned your head to Dean, looking to gauge his reaction.   
His left eye was twitching with disbelief.   
Seemed appropriate. Finally, he sobered up.

“Look man, you wanna go camping with your fellow tree-hugging friends - be my guest, but I ain’t about sun worshipping, flower crowns or anything else you hippies do with your free time.”  
Sam frowned, rolling his eyes when his brother added ‘Although I wouldn’t mind the orgies…’ under his breath.  
“I’m not talking about going camping.”

He clarified. Not camping.. Then..?  
You jumped up in your chair with excitement.  
“Disneyland??”  
Both brothers turned their annoyed looking faces your way, making your enthusiasm very short lived.  
You sat back down, scrunching up your nose in a very obvious way and glaring back at them

“Can you imagine Dean or me taking pictures with anyone in a Mickey Mouse costume?”  
Sam asked, and Dean looked like the mere thought made him want to punch something. Probably a poor, costume wearing Disneyland employee just doing his job.  
Yeah ok, maybe not Disneyland. A girl could dream though.. 

“I was actually thinking about a boat cruise.”  
Somehow this new information made even less sense than the guy just wanting to go on vacation.  
It was also oddly specific. Maybe it was something he wanted to do for a while now.   
It wasn’t something you’d expect from him though.  
Dean seemed to be just as taken aback by the suggestion as you were.

“Dude. What’s gotten into you?”  
Sam looked a little nervous all of a sudden. Maybe even a little… guilty?   
He picked up his fork, poking it in a leaf of lettuce and swirling it around in his bowl as if he was eating pasta instead.  
“Nothing. I just heard that the Mark Twain River has some cool boat cruises.”

You tilted your head to the side, your eyes narrowing in curiousity. Again - super specific.  
Dean drilled his suspicion filled eyes into his brother, making the giant look away.   
Realizing you were his last resort, Sam fixed you with one of the most intense puppy eyes you’ve ever received. Damn him.

“Ahh.. A boat cruise sounds nice!”  
Dean glared at you. But come on, it really did sound nice! A vacation could only be good to those two.   
They always carry so much on their shoulders. It would be nice to see them throw some of that weight into the water and let something carry them for once.  
You were actually getting excited! You’ve never been on a boat before.

“Just for a day or two, ok? I promise you the world would survive until then.”  
______________________________________________________________________________

And so here you were, standing in front of the Hannibal history museum, Which was where the boat was departing from.   
You were tired. Very tired. It was a 6 hour drive, and it felt like there was some sort of a magnetic force causing your eyelids to close.   
Dean had blasted his rock music loudly in his baby the whole way, and now your mind was a weird jumble of random lines from his favorite bands.  
All you wanted was to find a comfortable bed and wake up in a year or two.

Luckily it was a two days cruise, which meant getting some much needed shut eye was in the near future for you.  
You mindlessly followed Sam as he paid for your tickets and lead you and Dean towards the boat, clutching into the back of his jacket so you won’t accidentally get separated.  
“It’s bigger than I expected.”  
Sam commented, stopping. If you weren’t so sleepy the action probably wouldn’t have seemed so abrupt to you, but you were, hence the reason why your nose was now buried in his back.

“(Y\N) come on, don’t fall asleep on us yet! You should see this!”  
Dean exclaimed, gently guiding you forward and in front of his brother with a firm hold on your arm.  
You looked up, but honestly everywhere in front of you was just crowds and crowds of people and you couldn’t see a thing, much less the boat.  
“Why is it so packed? I didn’t know boat cruises were such an attraction..”  
You thought out loud.

“Well, today is the 30th of November.”  
Sam answered, like it made sense to either of you. Dean was quick to respond with a very annoyed stare.  
“It’s Mark Twain’s birthday.”  
You could almost imagine question marks flying over Dean’s head.  
This time it was the younger brother’s turn to be annoyed.  
“Mark Twain, famous author and the dude this river is named after.”  
Oh. Right.

Sam sighed.  
“In the first place those cruises are only supposed to be an hour or two long, but since this is a special occasion they decided to make this one longer.”  
You and Dean exchanged a knowing look.  
“Nerd.”  
Both men stared at you in surprise - the younger one irritated while the older was practically glowing with pride.

“That’s my girl!”  
You let a wide, ear to ear smile climb onto your lips as Dean ruffled your hair lovingly.   
Sam shook his head in disappointment, sending him a mean look.  
“You’re such a bad influence.”  
You leaned into the hand still in your hair like a cat, making the hunter chuckle.  
“If anything this just proves I’m doing something right.”  
You nodded your agreement.

“Yeah whatever. Say that again when she grows up a little and takes after your drinking habits, or your one night stand habits”  
Sam retorted, smirking victoriously when Dean seemed to be tensing up ridiculously fast besides you.  
You didn’t have to look up at the man to know that he was giving his brother a death glare.

“Umm.. So where’s the boat?”  
You hurried, changing the subject before this staring contest of theirs could continue on for too long.  
Sam averted his attention to you and you couldn’t help but sing ‘So that’s one goooold star foooor me!~’ in your head. Success! You loved Dodie Clark.  
“What do you mean where’s the boat? It’s right in front of us!”

 

You almost wanted to face palm at his answer. You should have realized - giraffes don’t see the world the way you and your fellow chihuahuas do. Wait, Chihuahuas? Argh whatever, that will have to do.  
Dean must have realized your problem, because in about two seconds you were lifted off the ground and sat awkwardly over his shoulders like a toddler.

“Maybe I am a bad influence. Those hamburgers-”  
“Shut up!”  
You cut him off, cheeks flaming with embarrassment. You felt super uncomfortable. You were too old for this!  
“Just look at the boat already, would you?”  
Dean half complained at you. You must have twisted around a lot because you felt him tighten his hands around your legs to keep you from moving.

With your cheeks probably still as red as a tomato, you turned your eyes forward.  
You let them jump from head to head, observing the crowds in front of you.   
They made their way through a group of friends immersed in a conversation, to a mom trying to keep her son from spilling his ice cream, to a couple of teenagers snapping pictures of each other. Finally, your eyes landed on what should have probably been the most obvious thing to look at:

The boat was big. And by big you meant big. 100 ft. long at least.   
It was made out of dark brown wood and had red stripes stretching from side to side, marking the first, second and third floors.  
The circular windows were something out of a Pirates Of The Caribbean movie.  
Colorful fairy lights covered every visible nook and cranny, popping out to you from the dark evening shade.   
It looked amazing.  
Suddenly you didn’t feel like sleeping anymore.  
______________________________________________________________________________

 

You jumped up and down on your new temporary bed with excitement. The room you got was beautifully decorated and had a very warm, homey feel to it. You LOVED it.  
“(Y\N)... I think it’s time we call it a day, don’t you?”  
Sam asked, although it was more of a statement then a question.   
“Listen to your mother, (Y\N).”  
Dean piped up smugly, already tucked in his own bed for the night. Sam rolled his eyes.

“Fineee.”  
You got under your covers, your head facing Sam’s still empty bed.  
You stared at it for a couple of long minutes with half lidded eyes, wondering why it was still unoccupied.   
Oh well. Maybe he wasn’t as tired as you.   
A long yawn left your mouth as you let the pillow fully envelop your head, drifting off to sleep.  
______________________________________________________________________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was SO much fun to write! Had to do a lot of research, and I'm sure a lot of it isn't perfect, but I'm pretty happy with the result! Btw I have like zero knowledge in guns, I literally just quoted some guy from a tutorial video on YouTube so if I got anything wrong I'm sorry.  
> Next chapter is when things really get interesting.. Also a certain awkward angel makes an appearance so there's that.
> 
> What do you guys think? I'm super hyped to finish the next one so that you can all read it too!


	18. It's no use running away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow. A summary, for this long ass chapter?!   
> Ahh.. Just... you'll see!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised! A looooong chapter!  
> Hope you enjoy!

_“(Y\N)... I think it’s time we call it a day, don’t you?”_   
_Sam asked, although it was more of a statement then a question._   
_“Listen to your mother, (Y\N).”_   
_Dean piped up smugly, already tucked in his own bed for the night. Sam rolled his eyes._

_“Fineee.”_   
_You got under your covers, your head facing Sam’s still empty bed._   
_You stared at it for a couple of long minutes with half lidded eyes, wondering why it was still unoccupied._   
_Oh well. Maybe he wasn’t as tired as you._   
_A long yawn left your mouth as you let the pillow fully envelop your head, drifting off to sleep._

_________

 

Screams. Loud and unrelenting. Like some persistent force was determined to disturb those peaceful waves that carried you off to sleep last night. 

The thumping and banging of feet above your head were making it difficult to stay warm inside your blanket, because even though your entire body was covered, a chill started to settle at the pit of your stomach.

It was like you’ve swallowed a cube of ice and the damn thing was too cold to melt on it’s way in.

 

_ (Y\N)! _

The panicked voice was accompanied by a rough shake of your shoulders.

You tensed, curling up in your covers, hating that those annoying screams were powerful enough to manifest themselves into something that could physically touch you. Where were they coming from anyways?

_ (Y\N)! Get up! _

That voice again. Why was it so distinctly different than the others?

“ **(Y\N)!”**

 

You shot up in your bed, completely awake as your blanket was thrown off of your body, the cold air hitting it like a slap.

You looked up at Dean with wide eyes.

“What are you waiting for??”

To say that he looked on edge would be an understatement. His jaw was clenched, his shoulders tense, a deep frown line settling between his eyebrows. It looked like if it buried itself any deeper into his skin it would carve apart his composure entirely.

You didn’t like to see the tough hunter unsure of himself.   
  


An impatient hand landed on your arm, fingers digging into your flesh, shooting yet another wave of awareness coursing through your body.

“Get up!”

Not like you could object, you were yanked up into a standing position before you could say anything.

“Follow me,”   
Dean commanded harshly, getting to the door in two enormous steps and basically kicking it open before he turned to face you again.

 

“Stay behind me, get it?”   
You could only nod, still trying to comprehend what was happening. The hunter’s boots were quickly receding up the wooden staircase, leaving you no choice but to spring into action yourself in an attempt to catch up.

The higher you climbed, the louder the screaming got, and the stronger this ice storm in your stomach raged. 

 

The warm light of the lamps that decorated the hallway was quickly switched with the harsh glare of the early morning sun, and you hurried to grab the material of Dean’s shirt for fear of getting separated from him.

Whenever you were in trouble you knew you could always count of the Winchesters to protect you.

Wait.Winchester _ s.  _

Where the hell was Sam?!

 

“What’s going on here?”

You looked up to see Dean holding some poor employee by his collar. The man was already terrified enough, but the spark of rage in the hunter’s eyes made him positively frozen.

“A-a body!” His teeth chattered as he pointed a shaky finger over to the far side of the deck.

“S-someone killed a guy and threw him into the river!”

 

Your head snapped to the crowd gathering near the wooden railings. You felt like you couldn’t breath anymore.

“SAM!”   
You called out, frantically scouring the deck for the giant. He was considerably taller than  _ everyone _ on the  boat, so how come you couldn’t find him?!

“SAMMY!”   
Dean’s desperate cry made your heart constrict in your chest.

 

The hunter took off shoving and pushing through the crowd, and you tried your best to follow, even though you didn’t know if you were brave enough to face what you might find in the water.

“SAM!”

Dean cried again. You squeezed through between a mom covering her daughter’s eyes and a man with a phone held to his ear.

A step closer and another, and finally you were stood behind Dean.

 

“ _ Dean, _ ”

You demanded, your heart pounding against your ribcage like it was trying to break out.

He turned to you, taking hold of your wrist and dragging you forward besides him.

You swallowed back your fear and looked down to the water.

 

There was a man floating there and the water around him was stained with a deep red hue. 

A man who wasn’t tall at all. A man whose hair didn’t reach his shoulders. A man whose clothes were far too elegant to suite those of the rugged hunter you knew.

A man who wasn’t Sam.   
  


“Oh thank god.”   
Your shoulders sagged in relief.

Dean seemed to snap out of his worried older brother state to hunter mode in a matter of seconds.

You didn’t know where the giant wondered off to while Dean and you were looking for him, but if he wasn’t in the water than he was on the boat. There was no other option.

Taking a deep breath, you decided to apply the lessons you’ve learned from the brothers on the bloody scene in front of your eyes.

 

The man was probably stabbed, since there were no gunshots heard throughout the night. He was probably stabbed in the chest, though you couldn’t be sure since the body was floating on it’s stomach. 

All this blood had to come from  _ somewhere _ though..

 

Two young, inexperienced medics started reading a stretcher to pull the victim out of the river, both sweating with uncertainty. They were clearly terrified of the task.

You could see Dean looking at them from the corner of his eye.

 

“Go find Sam.”

With a pat on your shoulder and a sympathetic furrow of his eyebrows, the hunter strolled over to the two.

You stood there for a couple of seconds, just so you could watch the medics accept Deans help with a shy smile and an awkward rub on the back of their necks. You probably would have smiled if it weren’t for the situation.

 

Making your way back to the wooden staircase, you started half-walking half-running down beneath the noisy deck.

Sam wasn’t with the other passengers. He was probably in one of the rooms. You  _ hoped _ .

What  _ was  _ he doing there however, you didn’t know.

“Sam!”   
You called, opening the closest door to you, only to reveal a normal looking room, and no Sam.

 

One by one you slammed the doors open, going through each bathroom door, every closet (Though you doubted he’d fit in one), and looked behind every shower curtain you found (You know.. just in case) -but found absolutely nothing.

If the boat wasn’t so big you probably would have had more luck, but those elegant gold numbers on the wooden surface seemed to be stretching on for eternity.

 

You reached your hand to the next door handle with a sigh of defeat. 

Where the hell was he?!

Maybe you should just wait for Dean..

Suddenly a loud noise of something hitting the floor snapped you out of your thoughts.

It came from inside the room.

 

With newfound hope you turned the handle, only to find out that the door was locked.  _ Damn it! _

“Sam!”

You yelled, banging your fist on the barrier separating you from what could potentially be the missing hunter.

Whoever it was that was inside the room heard you, because you heard a lot of shuffling around.

You waited impatiently for the noise to stop, tapping your feet against the floor.

Finally, after what sounded like a bunch of drawers being slammed back into place, you heard the click of unlocking.

 

Sam stepped out, closing the door quickly behind him. His eyes seemed to be scouting the hallway nervously. He wasn’t even paying attention to you.

“ _ Sam. _ ”

You demanded. You and Dean were so worried about him, and that’s what he was doing the whole time? Snooping around in other passenger’s rooms?

 

When he finished making sure that the two of you were alone, he squatted down to your level, fixing his strangely serious eyes on yours with determination. You tilted your head to the side.

“Is Dean distracted for now?”   
_ Distracted? _

You furrowed your eyebrows, giving him a suspicious look that had him chuckling nervously.

“Why are you asking?”   
  


Sam seemed to be struggling with himself for a few long moments, taking his time to come up with the right words.

“You know how you told me two days ago that you wanted a more…  _ direct _ approach with your  _ just in case _ hunter training?”   
You thought back to the moment he was referring to with an internal cringe. You didn’t think he’d remembered. You’ve only just said that because Dean wouldn’t let you fire a gun - he only let you assemble it, and you were getting frustrated.

 

“Yes..?”

You answered slowly, almost carefully even. 

You knew Sam was capable of coming up with very clever plans, but you also knew they had a habit of upsetting his brother, and there  _ had _ to be a reason as to why he was checking if Dean was occupied at the moment.

“Well,” The hunter started, mouth closing and opening a couple of times. “I was thinking I could help with that, but,”   
He let out a tired sigh.

“I think I might have miscalculated the whole thing a little bit.”

 

You were quickly piecing everything together in your head. Dean was  _ not  _ gonna like this..

You let out a sigh of your own.

“What are we hunting?”

______________________________________________________________________________

 

Dean was standing over the drenched body that he managed to pull out of the water with the help of the two inexperienced medics.

It was now laying on it’s back, the man’s blank eyes staring off into nothing.

He was stabbed four times in the stomach, but thanks to the water he was submerged in all that time, at least the other passengers weren’t met with a horror-movie like pool of blood.

 

Speaking of the other passengers actually, they’ve all gone back below the deck for now. The ship’s captain announced that they’d be heading back in an hour, and though nobody was prepared for such a situation, they were all at least smart enough to go back to their rooms.

Who knows where the culprit was at the moment.

 

After making sure those two medics weren’t freaking out too much, the hunter started heading down inside himself.

Examining the body distracted him for a while, but now that he was finished his mind was only on (Y\N) and Sam.

_ Especially _ Sam. There was no way this was just a coincidence, and he had a LOT of questions to answer.

 

His boots hit the stairs angrily with each heavy step as he strode towards their room.

“(Y\N), Sam!”   
He called out harshly, hands fisting at his sides.

Sam knew he was putting (Y\N) in danger if he knew there was something on this ship. He knew and he did it anyways! 

The hunter narrowed his eyes at the room number in front of him. 

 

With a quick tug on the door handle, Dean slammed the door open, revealing the fourteen year old sitting innocently in the middle of the bed.

Closing the door behind him only slightly less rudely, he scouted the area for his younger brother, getting frustrated when he realized she was alone.

So not only was he not here when he wanted to tear his head off (figuratively speaking of course), but he also left (Y\N) on her own when he knew some monster was lurking around?!

Oh he was  _ so  _ gonna get it..

 

Dean observed the girl in front of him suspiciously. By now he felt like he knew her almost as well as he knew himself. It helped that she had the worst poker face he’d ever witnessed, that was for sure.

“Dean!”

Said girl piped up, looking like she was reciting a line from a school play. Her whole posture was awkward.

 

She hurried over to him with a fake smile on her face, meeting his eyes head on. 

Well, at least she wasn’t a coward. She could hesitate and avoid things that scared her, but when she was truly determined to do something - nothing could stop her. 

Correction: Nothing  _ would have _ stopped her if she wasn’t so bad at acting. 

 

“I was waiting for you,”

She started, pulling a paper and a pen out from behind her back.

“So I know it’s a vacation and all, but I’m kind of still behind on homework. Can you help me with this?”

The hunter raised an eyebrow at her. For (Y\N) to be willing to do her homework before Sam had to sit her down himself - she was really going for it.

 

“(Y\N)... Where is Sam?”   
Dean asked, skipping right to to the point. 

“What do you mean? Didn’t you see him?”

(Y\N) quickly tagged at his hand, walking him over towards a table by the window.

“He was just going back to the deck. We really shouldn’t have worried, you know? He was just… listening to some science lecture with his headphones on, so he couldn’t hear anything!”

 

She seemed satisfied with the excuse she provided. Too bad Dean wasn’t. He gripped her hand, turning her to him and fixing her with an intimidating set of eyes, and even though she was trying her best to hide it, the hunter could see she was fighting the urge to run.    
“(Y\N). I don’t have time for this, ok? Where is Sam?”

(Y\N) could tell that Dean was getting more aggravated by the minute, but instead of giving up, she only straightened up, looking even more determined than before.

 

“ _ (Y\N).. _ ”

Dean warned, his hand tightening over hers. It wasn’t too tight to actually hurt, but it was definitely tight enough to intimidate.

Man, she was stubborn! What did Sam promise her? A week of doing all of her math assignments?!

He was basically glaring at her at this point,  but he could see she wasn’t going to budge.

Dean sighed, giving up on getting anything out of her for now. 

If you want something done - you should do it yourself.

Well, with a little bit of help..

 

“Cas. I need you for a second buddy. Mind zapping yourself over here? It’s important.”   
(Y\N) looked a little scared all of a sudden, but Dean only grinned at her when he heard the flapping of wings coming from behind him.

“Dean.”   
The angel addressed, looking at his friend with curious eyes. The hunter rarely called unless it was important, but a swift look around the room uncovered no danger at all.

 

“Do you mind looking after my girl here for a while? I need to go find Sam.”   
Castiel tilted his head to the side. Did he miss something?

“I don’t need a babysitter!”

(Y\N) piped up, trying to get free of Dean’s grip, only to be pushed towards the unsuspecting angel’s chest with a hand on her back.

“Stay with him, you hear me? I’m already pissed enough at Sam. Don’t make this worse.”   
And with that, the hunter turned around, slamming the door after him.

______________________________________________________________________________

 

You awkwardly held on to Castiel’s trench coat for a moment, staring up at the angel with a shy smile.

You quickly jumped back to balance yourself on your own two feet, a sense of relief filling you now that you’ve put some distance between you. 

Cas didn’t seem to mind on his end, or rather he didn’t have the capacity to understand that this situation might be a bit embarrassing.

 

“So..”

You started, clearing your throat. Castiel looked at you with curiosity.

“Dean said to look after you, but I don’t see why. This doesn’t seem to be a situation in which you could benefit from my protection.”

He looked around the room again, just to make sure.

 

“Umm.. well… I don’t! Dean’s just being stubborn. I can totally look after myself!”

The angel’s eyes stayed on you far too long for your liking. They weren’t revealing any feelings or thoughts going through his head. He was just looking, and you hated how nothing seemed to escape those blue eyes of his.

Instead of choosing to side with either one of you, he simply moved on to the next topic. The topic which everyone seemed to be most interested in today.

 

“Where is Sam?”

You let out a nervous laugh.

You promised Sam you wouldn’t say a word. The plan was that he would gank the damn thing before Dean would notice. That plan wasn’t really working too well though. Dean was not one to be left in the dark for too long. 

Either way, spilling everything to Cas wasn’t a good idea.

 

“Reading. In.. in the dining room! “

Castiel squinted his eyes at you. He didn’t believe you one bit, but he wasn’t judging. Again - he was just observing.

“Why are you lying?”

He asked, his tone holding no trace of anger or frustration. It made you relax a little. Maybe you could convince him to help..

 

You walked over to the bed, plopping down with a thud. Your eyes circled the room. It was dumb and you knew it, but you just wanted to make sure no one was listening. Maybe you were just a tad too paranoid.

Finally, you looked up at the angel in front of you.

“Can you keep a secret?”   
If you could guess the reaction Castiel would have to that question, the last thing you would imagine would be a hearty chuckle. But that’s exactly what you got.

 

“I really don’t understand you humans.”

______________________________________________________________________________

 

Dean was making his third trip around the ship, his eyes roaming his surroundings almost menacingly. 

The two medics he helped before observed him with a confused scowl, their eyebrows raised as his head popped up from beneath the deck once again.

Exchanging nervous looks, the two made their way over to the steaming hunter, their steps as light as a person trying their best to not be perceived as a threat to a rabid dog.

 

The two men followed closely behind the man they considered their savior, whose shoulders were so tense that they were almost creating the impression that he had no neck.

_ Thump Thump Thump _

Dean’s feet crushed into the wooden floor again and again with a force that was not anywhere near necessary for simply getting from one point to the other. 

“Um,”

 

The taller one started, raising one hand up and ushering his friend forward with the other.

The two bumped into each other when Dean stopped walking abruptly.

“Look, Derek and Michael right? I’m busy, ok? Go find something else to do,”

The hunter looked truly intimidating - not only was he much taller than them, but he also had this terrifying spark in his eyes that looked like it could cover his entire form with fiery anger if they ticked him off or said anything he didn’t like.

Michael, who was the older (and braver) of the two gulped down his saliva and did his best to seem unaffected.

 

“I’m sorry dude… it’s just, we know this ship front and back. We can help you find whatever it is you’ve been looking around for in the last 20 minutes..”   
Dean narrowed his eyes, making Derek inch closer to his friend in fear. 

“L-Look, you’ve helped us, so it’s only right we give something back, r-right?”   
Derek stuttered.

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose in irritation.

 

“I’m not even sure what I’m looking  _ for. _ Besides my idiot of a brother that is.”

His gaze landed on the two medics with a mix of frustration and defeat.

“He’s practically as tall as a damn giraffe, so if I didn’t spot him yet then I don’t know where the hell he ran off to.”

Dean’s hands slumped at his sides, suddenly looking very vulnerable. And tired.  _ Very  _ tired.

 

“There’s an employee-only passage to the security room.  They’ve got security cameras there.”

Michael offered.

The hunter’s green eyes lit up, and the two medics smiled nervously at that. He seemed almost  _ too  _ excited.

“O-obviously they don’t have those in any of the passengers rooms! you know - privacy and all that. Everywhere else is covered though…”

 

Dean’s smile only widened. Michael was starting to regret saying anything at all, but it was a little too late for that.

Two big hands landed on each of the men’s shoulders in a ‘friendly’ manner. 

“Lead the way amigoes!”

______________________________________________________________________________

 

You stepped into the deck, Castiel trailing close behind you.

You filled him in on everything, and he agreed to help. Now you just needed to find a way to distract Dean while Sam finished dealing with the ghost. 

Actually, it wasn’t ghost,   _ singular _ . There were two of them. 

Apparently Sam thought it was going to be as simple as burning a picture the ghost was attached to, but surprise surprise - the ghost had a friend. 

Obviously, that messed everything up. You weren’t quite at level where you could take on not just one, but  _ two  _ ghosts.

 

You turned to face the angel.

“You remember what we talked about Cas? You need to follow my lead. Don’t say anything stupid! He’s already suspicious enough.”

Castiel smiled at you, his eyes creasing at the sides with held back laughter. 

You felt your cheeks heat up a little. There was something incredibly warm in the way he was looking at you. Even if you did get the feeling that he wasn’t taking you as seriously as he could be.

You shook your head quickly, as if the action could clear away the distracting thoughts, but to your agony it only seemed to make the angel’s smile grow wider.

 

“J-Just follow me!”   
You spat, hurrying over towards the center of the deck. You frantically looked around, this time looking for the older Winchester instead of the younger.

_ Damn _ those boys could cause a lot of trouble!

“Cas, do you see him?”   
You asked when your eyes didn’t uncover any trace of the hunter.

 

When you turned to face him again, the angel had his eyes closed in concentration. 

“I can sense him. I think.”

He finally announced, opening his eyes back up.

“He’s still warded from angels, but when he’s this close... ”

A fond smile made it’s way to his lips.

“Let’s just say he has a very distinct aura.”

You sighed in relief.

“Where is he then?”   
  


Castiel turned to his left, his finger pointing forward towards a set of closed doors that had an ‘Employee Only’ sign glued unto them with bright yellow tape.

_ What was he doing there…? _

You tagged at Castiel’s trenchcoat, pulling him after you as you neared your target destination.

Just when you were about to turn over the door handle however, a rough voice stopped you.

 

“I’m sorry, but the area behind these doors is off limits to regular passengers.”

You looked over at the man who just stopped you with pleading eyes. 

“I’m sorry sir, It’s just that.. My older brother’s in there.. And I miss him..”

You lied, pulling off your best teary toddler eyes with both your hands crossed innocently behind your back. 

The man seemed impassive though. It didn’t look like you were getting to him at all. In fact, instead of even paying you any attention, his eyes were focused on Castiel instead.

 

“Sir, do you mind…?”

He was looking at the angel with annoyance as he gestured over at you. 

How  _ rude! _ You fumed, your cheeks burning with humiliation.

“Do I mind… what?”   
Good, socially awkward ol’ Castiel. Of course he didn’t realise that the man was thinking that you were his spoiled daughter.

 

“We provide a variety of entertainments for kids. I’m sure you could figure out a way to pass the time until her.. Older brother decides to show.”

You have never hated someone so quickly. Who did the guy think he is?? 

Castiel cleared his throat, bringing your attention back to him.

“Correct me if I’m wrong but, were you just telling me how I should parent my child?”   
  


Your eyes widened as you stared, jaw agape at the angel. Did..  _ did he just say that? _

Maybe the angel deserved a little more credit from you... 

It seemed that you weren’t the only one surprised. The man in front of you was just as taken aback by the words as you were.

He quickly composed himself though.

“Of course not sir, I’m sorry if it came out sounding that way.”

 

Castiel only frowned even more, his eyes darkening.

“I should hope not. I paid a lot of money for this vacation, and now I find out that not only is the security around here lack enough that a murderer managed to slip through, and is still roaming free by the way, but a mere employee is giving me parenting classes.”

Your mouth couldn't get any wider. 

 

“I-I’m sorry sir. Look, I’ll let you in to look for your son, just don’t complain to my boss about it, ok?”   
Instead of looking any less scary, Castiel kept the same cold facade as he gripped your hand.

“We’ll be going then.”   
He announced, pulling you through the wooden doors looking like he owned the place.

All you could do was stare at his back as he lead you into a long looking corridor.

______________________________________________________________________________

 

Sam wiped sweat away from his forehead as he stood over the burned picture he finally managed to get to. It was persistent as all hell and gave him quite a bit of trouble, but at last - it was one damn ghost down.

He had no idea how he was supposed to get the other one though. He just prayed that like it’s friend it was connected to an object somewhere on the ship. Otherwise they were pretty much screwed.

Thankfully, the ghost didn’t manage to get the drop on him, so there were no injuries or bruises to hide from Dean if he ran onto him.

He was just really hoping that (Y\N) would find some way to distract him long enough.

  
  


With a sigh, the hunter exited the room. 

___________

 

“There you are you little shit!”

Michael and Derek stared at Dean as he glared at his younger brother through the monitor, an evil, victorious smirk on his face

“ _ Dude.. I think we made a mistake letting him in here.. _ ”

Derek whispered to his friend as they both struggled to maintain a fake smile on their faces.

“Oh you are  _ so _ getting it!”

 

Both medics flinched when the hunter turned to them.

“Thanks. You guys were a great help!”

Dean then made his way out the door, a big smile plastered on his face as he waved them goodbye in an over exaggerated manner.

As soon as the hunter was out of a hearing distance, the two of them exchanged anxious looks.

 

“Dude, we  _ just  _ pulled a body out of the river. That was scary enough for me. Now I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel like becoming an accomplice in murder to some crazy guy out to kill his little brother.”

Michael announced.

“Are there security cameras  _ inside _ the security camera’s room?”

Derek and Michael both gulped.

 

“Dude…”

 

______________________________________________________________________________

 

“ _ (Y\N)! _ ”

Castiel’s silent cry made you straighten up immediately, but before you could ask him what was wrong, you were pulled roughly into the closest room.

His hand was covering your mouth as he pressed you against his chest. 

“ _ Dean’s coming this way. _ ”

You looked at the angel in confusion. You were  _ supposed  _ to meet up with him.

 

The reason Castiel was hiding you however, became more than obvious when the hunter strode out of the security camera room and past you.

He was furious. And determined. And scary.  _ Very _ scary. Not approachable at all.

You looked helplessly at the floor. What were you gonna do now then?

“I have an idea. I’m not sure Dean’s gonna like it though.”

Castiel said, removing his hand from your mouth as you both stepped back into the hallway.

 

“Really?”

Instead of answering, the angel simply closed his eyes.

______________________________________________________________________________

 

**Sam.**

Sam jumped at the familiar voice that was suddenly echoing in his head.

_ Cas?! _

He thought, stopping mid-step. 

**Sam. Dean is coming your way. Distract him. I will deal with the ghost.**

The hunter immediately tensed up. 

Oh  _ shit. _

 

Looking around in every direction with panicked eyes, Sam slowly backed away into the room he just left.

**He knows where you are. He probably saw you on the security cameras. It’s no use running away. Just distract him long enough for me to get rid of the ghost.**

Sam had to admit, Having Cas talking directly into his brain was one creepy experience. Especially when the words ‘It’s no use running away.’ were a part of what he was saying.

 

“Sam!”

An angry roar echoed in the hallway, making every muscle in Sam’s body tense. His instincts were screaming at him to just lock himself inside the room.

“I know you’re here! Don’t you try hiding from me!”   
_ Great. Look at what you got yourself into now Sam. _

With courage he didn’t know he had, the man stepped out of the room to face his raging older brother.

 

“There you are!”

Dean was walking  _ straight  _ to him, looking like the  _ definition  _ of Intimidation.

“Dean,”

Sam started, holding his hands up in defence. The hunter was having none of it though.

With a large step, Dean was standing right in front of his brother, leaving very little space between them.

“What the  _ hell _ were you thinking?!”   
  


He yelled, having a much stronger effect now that he was basically screaming in Sam’s ears.

“Dean-”

“No! I’m not nearly finished!”

The older Winchester exclaimed, grabbing his brother by the collar of his shirt.

“We do  _ not  _ put (Y\N) in danger! Ever! I thought we were on the same page on that!”

His whole body was radiating with anger. 

 

“I never planned to, alright? I never thought it would get this way! It was supposed to be just one ghost!”   
The younger Winchester defended.

“One? There is more than one?!”   
Sam’s eyes filled with guilt.

“And you just left her there alone?”

The disappointment in Dean’s eyes made Sam lower his head in shame.

 

“I was trying to-”

Dean cut him off with a harsh hand gesture. 

“Just be glad I called Cas over.”   
His tone was cold and hard, and Sam could only keep staring at the floor.

“Stop moping. You and me are gonna clean up your mess.”

The younger Winchester straightened up at that, looking even more guilty than before.

 

“Cas.. said he’d take care of it.”

 

“He said what?!”

______________________________________________________________________________

  
  


“(Y\N), you ready?”

Castiel asked as you both stood in front of a big family portrait. It was lucky that you even noticed it. Then again, there weren’t a lot of creepy vintage pictures framed and hanging on the wall in this ship, plus Cas said he sensed something from it.

You nodded at him, your fingers nervously playing with the lighter the angel gave you.

 

“Ready as I’ll ever be..”

You held your hand up to the portrait, only to have a gray, old looking woman stare back at you.

You jumped back, reacting quickly and trusting your instincts just like Sam had taught you.

Castiel slashed at her with an iron bar, but you knew that she was only gonna disappear for a moment.

Your thumb flicked the little spark wheel with determination.

 

As soon as the flame touched the canvas, the ghost let out a pained moan. You dodged her again as she tried to strike you.

Your heart was hammering in your chest as you watched her skin burn and rot off. It peeled away in a way that reminded you of a snake shedding it’s skin.

Shivers went through you as you watched her dissolve into nothingness, accompanied by a desperate cry for help.

 

You couldn't move. You just defeated your first ghost, you were supposed to be proud!

But why did it feel like you committed a crime? 

Castiel’s hand landed on your shoulder, and you knew he just read your thoughts. Instead of being angry that he invaded your privacy though, you just brought your own hand up to hold unto his.

You  _ needed  _ that comfort now.

“Cas..?”   
You asked silently, looking up at him.

 

“Hmm?”   
“Where do ghosts go to when they are killed in this world?”   
The way his blue eyes softened at the question made you lean into him a little, finding the close proximity to him oddly relaxing all of a sudden.

“Ghosts are held down here by hatred and unresolved feelings, but,”

The angel leaned down to your level, turning to look you in the eye.

 

“You helped her pass on to heaven.”   
His tone was gentle, and his lips were stretched in a small smile. 

You stared into his blue eyes for a long moment, confirming that he was telling the truth and didn’t just make something up to make you feel better.

“Will I get there too one day?”   
The question made the angel’s smile turn sad for some reason. It was… unnerving.

 

“(Y\N).. I think It’s time you know this, someone  _ needs _ to tell you-”   
  


“(Y\N)!”

Dean’s voice caught off whatever it was that Castiel was about to tell you. You watched him run over to you with worry in his eyes, Sam following quietly behind.

Big, warm arms closed around you as you were lifted into the air by the hunter. 

“Oh thank god you’re ok!”   
You could barely breath as you were crushed against his chest tightly. You struggled a little to make him notice, and thank god after a few especially furious tugs at his shirt he did.

 

Before you could say anything, Dean planted a long, lingering kiss on your forehead.

Your cheeks reddened with embarrassment.

“D-Dean!”   
He only chuckled at your expression.

“C'mon sweetheart! No need to be shy!”   
You gasped when the man started covering your entire face with little pecks.

 

Sam stared at his brother with shock as he refused to stop no matter how red you got.

“Bleah! Dean! Stop it that’s gross!”   
You were starting to think Dean was trying to give you wet kisses on  _ purpose. _

“We’re never going on a boat cruise ever again!”   
He announced, adjusting you in his arms instead of letting you go.

 

“We’re getting off this damn ship right  _ now _ .”

 

______________________________________________________________________________

 

“You  _ still  _ didn’t capture her?”   
A heavy fist collided with the desk, making all who were present in the room flinch with fear.

“N-Not yet lord (Y\L\N), those Winchesters never leave her alone, b-but I promise you we will get to her soon!”   
The sound of fingers flicking echoed in the room like a gong.

 

“N-NO! My lord! Please f-forgive me!”

The begging were in vain though. Blood splashed into the wall as an ear screeching scream filled the building. And then a sigh.

“Well then Roy, it seems like I can no longer trust you to command one of your underlings to do the job.”

Roy gulped.

“I think it’s time you finish the job yourself, don’t you agree?”

 

“Yes! Of course, as you command my lord!”   
  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you guys think? I'm sorry if some parts seemed a bit rushed, I had a very strict due date on this one. Overall I'm proud of this one. I was honestly thinking that I won't make it in time.  
> I REALLY want to know what you guys think. I'm gonna need a LOT of distractions for the next month. I have no idea how exactly boot camp is gonna go, and to be honest just putting on the army uniform is gonna pretty weird and kinda scary.   
> Anyways, next chapter probably won't be coming for at least until boot camp is over (which is why this chapter is extra long), but I hope that those of you who really like this story stick with me.  
> Love you guys! <3


	19. Now can you tell me what’s going on?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hate summaries. They give away everything!  
> I'm just gonna say this - (Y\N) has some plans that the brothers definitely won't approve of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna say a big thanks for those of you who actually stook with me for this long. It's been some time, but I promise you the next couple of chapters are gonna be worth the wait!

It was just a normal day at school.

Except.. Not really?

Something in the eyes of the students and especially teachers around you made you wanna run. It wasn’t very logical of course - as far as you new, unless the entire school was possessed, there was no explanation as to why every person you've passed by was giving you these weird, sympathetic looks. Half of them couldn’t even keep their eyes off of you.

 

When you walked by Adam’s class the douche gave you a suspiciously pleased look. When you glared in return he simply turned around to laugh with his two brainless minions. You had a feeling - no you  _ knew  _ that they were laughing at  _ your _ expense somehow.

 

As the day went on, you found yourself practically sprinting from one class to another, and your eyes stayed fixed on the ground for the most part.

At lunch you made your way to your regular table, taking your sandwich out of it’s nylon wrapping. You tried to focus as much as you could on eating it, but it was like the eyes on your back were knives or needles.

 

Finally you couldn’t take it anymore. You lifted your head up to see a variety of pitying frowns, feeling your head spin so much that you could almost believe that it had somehow developed the ability to turn 360 degrees. 

It was nauseating.

 

“(Y\N)?”   
You almost jumped when you heard Yuuki’s voice coming from behind you. You turned to him with hopeful eyes. Maybe he could tell you why the hell you had all of a sudden became the focus of the entire school.

Much to your disappointment, your friend too was wearing one of those pitying looks on his face.

You hated being pitied. Especially when you didn’t even know what you were being pitied  _ for. _

 

“Why are you looking at me like that?! Why is  _ everyone  _ looking at me like that?”

You couldn’t help the harsh tone. 

Yuuki looked a little taken aback, but the sympathy never left his eyes.

“Looking at you like what?”   
The asian boy asked, trying to seem as innocent as possible. He was bad at lying though. His hands weren’t visible to you at the moment, but you could bet they were twitching behind his back.

 

“Don’t play dumb. You know  _ exactly  _ the way you’re lookin at me!”

Yuuki was bent on keeping up the act apparently though, because he only widened his eyes in fake confusion.

You gritted your teeth.

“Like my puppy just died. Like I just came back from a friend’s funeral. Like I just found out I have cancer,”

 

You elaborated, making sure that you’ve laced enough annoyance in there with the blatant sarcasm to make the boy at least flinch.

 

Yuuki sighed, bitterly pulling out a folded piece of paper from his left pocket. He still didn’t hand it over to you though.

“Look, before you do anything let me just say one thing, alright? It was probably just someone playing a stupid joke-”

Before he could really finish his sentence though, you snatched the paper out of his hands.

You quickly unfolded it in your hands, ignoring everything else.

“Don’t.. Just don’t freak out ok?”   
  


Your eyes landed on one big black word:

‘ **Missing** ’

Your breath caught in your throat. You gulped, forcing yourself to keep reading to where you knew you would inevitably find your name.

It was printed right under a picture of you that your mom snapped at your thirteenth birthday party.

Your very own missing file.

 

But how? You had no relatives left who would have noticed your sudden disappearance. At your old school you had no good friends if any at all. 

Who would actually be looking for you?

 

“Look (Y\N), they didn’t even get your last name right! It’s obviously just some sort of a prank!”

No it wasn’t. 

No one here knew that your last name was (Y\L\N).

You introduced yourself as (Y\N) Winchester.

“I gotta go.”

You grabbed your phone out of your backpack and took off running towards the girls bathrooms, vaguely hearing your friend begging for you to come back.

 

_ Sorry Yuuki. _

______________________________________________________________________________

 

Back at the bunker Dean was sitting by the war table. His left hand was draped over a thick book, his right keeping a beer centimeters away from his lips even though he had already downed the whole thing.

He considered snatching another one from the case he brought with him a few hours ago when he first sat down, but a fast glance at it uncovered three empty spots. When did he manage to down three bottles?

 

With a sigh of defeat he put down the empty bottle that was still in his hands.

He got up, cradling the beer case in his arms like a baby and making his way over to the fridge to return it, an action that in his book deserved proper praise.

Sam had gone out for supplies, leaving him to do research alone. 

As he sat back down by the table he felt like his eyelids were about to close.

The bunker was completely quiet and the library seemed like it stretched on for eternity. The books did too.

_ Page 345, page 346, page 347, _

 

Jesus christ was he bored!

 

All of a sudden ‘Ramble On’ by Led Zeppelin started playing on his phone, snapping him out of his self pity.

“Thank god,” He murmured under his breath, plucking the device out of the pocket of his jeans.

His eyes squinted in confusion though when the screen read ‘Pain In My Ass’.

What would (Y\N) be calling him for in school hours?

With a bit of worry mingling in with the confusion the hunter swiped his thumb across the screen.

 

_ “Dean?” _

She sounded out of breath. Not good.

“What’s going on?”

He demanded, his over protective mind analyzing every noise surrounding her.

Without even noticing it he already took five big steps towards the garage, keys gripped tightly in his free hand.

_ “I… I.. Can you come pick me up?” _

The hunter gritted his teeth in anger. Anger directed towards who? That he didn’t know yet, but if he had it his way (Y\N) would spill it out sooner rather than later.

He hated it when the girl was upset.

 

“(Y\N) listen to me for a sec’, are you ok? Are you hurt?”

He spit the words out like poison, hating the aftertaste it left on his tongue. But he had to know.

_ “I’m fine. Promise.” _

“(Y\N)...”

An annoyed sigh came from the other line, telling him all he needed to know.

Well, maybe emotionally she wasn’t at her best, but there was nothing else that suggested that she was otherwise physically hurt.

He could deal with emotional. Kind of… Sam could at least. He’d make sure to get him on that as soon as he was back.

 

“I’m on my way.”

______________________________________________________________________________

 

As Dean’s familiar prized baby rolled around the parking lot, you turned around to face the guard that was blocking you from running out the school gate with a victorious smirk. The bulky man only narrowed his eyes but otherwise said no word.

Your savior got out of his car with an angry strut and an expression that could scare away a lion. His feet hit the ground with force and his shoulders were held up to his neck stiffly, his hands swinging back and forth as he walked.

 

“Dean!”   
You called, wanting to get this over with already. That stubborn guard wouldn’t budge, and yes it was not formally the end of school hours yet, but quite frankly you really couldn’t care.

When the hunter got within stepping distance from you, the gate being the only barricade between the two of you, the guard spoke up.

 

“You her father?”   
Dean gave him a theatrically shocked look..

“Do I really look that old?”

The sentence was well laced with sarcasm.

“Sir.”

Dean took an intimidating step forward, and you thanked the lord that he was finally getting serious.

 

“I’m her uncle. Look, we’re in a hurry ok? Her mother’s in the hospital and if we don’t get a move on she’ll miss her little brother’s birth.”

You nodded your head in agreement quickly, hoping that the dude had a heart.

You adjusted your backpack over your shoulders and tapped your feet on the ground impatiently.

 

The guard stared at your ‘uncle’ for a while, eyes shadowed by his prominent brow bone. 

Luckily, as scary as he looked, he had quite the competition.

You looked back and forth between the two men, holding your breath for the verdict.

Instead of vocalizing his answer, the guard only tugged a key out of his pocket, unlocking the gate with a click that to you sounded like the sound of freedom.

 

_ Haleluja! _

 

You exited the gate with two quick steps, holding your hand out to catch Dean’s outstretched one.

“Come on,”

He urged, leading you to the impala. You didn’t need to be told twice, or once for that matter. You were already sprinting. If he didn’t have such long legs you would probably be dragging him after  _ you _ .

You threw the door open with a swift tug on the handle, plopping down on the leather seat. Dean briskly followed, switching to first gear and sitting in silence as the engine came roaring into life.

 

You fidgeted in your seat slightly. It was all well in your mind when you decided to call him, but thinking about this now, it would have been much smarter to endure the rest of the day.

You didn’t want to tell the brothers about the missing file.  _ Your _ missing file, and now no doubt they would try to get it out of you.

You weren’t (Y\N) (Y\L\N) anymore. You were a Winchester.

If, by any chance someone was looking for you - some distant relative who missed a christmas card or something, was worried enough to file a missing report, then surely they plan to find you some sort of living arrangement once they realize your mother seemed to be gone as well. A living arrangement that didn’t include the brothers, and you couldn’t live with that.

They would probably first contact your father, or maybe…

 

Maybe your father was the one who filed the report in the first place.

 

“ _ Now _ can you tell me what’s going on?”

Dean’s worried voice snapped you out of your thoughts and back into pressing reality. What were you going to say though?   
  


“Uhh..”   
You started, unsure of yourself. You scolded yourself for your lack of a solid plan, or a plan at all.

Why couldn’t you think past getting out of school?

“Uhh what?”

Dean turned his head in your direction with a criticizing gaze, throwing his right arm over the back of the chair.

“(Y\N) what happened?”   
  


You bit your lip from telling him the truth he wanted. Even if he did consider you part of the family, law is still law, and if your father had a say about it, which he  _ did _ , you would have to part with them sooner or later.

No. You had to make something up.

 

“I… those bullies from before, they wouldn't leave me alone! I just couldn’t take it anymore!”

Dean’s gaze softened immediately, only to harden again with hatred.

“Those sons of bitches!”   
He growled, bringing his fist down on the driving wheel. You flinched.

“What are their names?!”

 

“I-I don’t really know, I just kinda refer to them as Adam and the chipmunks, or, or Despicable Me with Adam starring as Gru and the other two idiots starring as the minions! or -”

 

“So one of them is called Adam, huh?”

Dean cut you off, rage practically radiating off of him. You unconsciously backed away until your side met with the door of the car.

He didn’t have a last name though, so he couldn’t do much… right?   
“Uhh.. Dean?”   
You questioned, not liking the silence that followed his last sentence. You panicked when he got his phone out and started looking through his contacts. You panicked even more when you saw him bringing the phone up to his ear.

 

“Dean!”

“Relax (Y\N)! I’m just calling Sam.”

You let out a sigh of relief. You buckled your seat belt, thankful that Dean has finally started to drive in the direction of the bunker.

 

As the brothers talked over the phone, you considered your next step.

Let’s say your father really was the one who filed the missing report. That would mean that he had to have come by the house… right? 

He hasn’t visited since… well ever actually. What drove him to do so now? 

As far as you knew, your mother had completely cut off any contact with him, so he wouldn’t get suspicious if he wouldn’t hear from her in a long while.

 

There had to be a reason to why he did it. Unfortunately you really didn’t know him well enough to know why.

Thinking about it now, you barely knew  _ anything  _ about the man besides the fact that he used to beat you and your mom.

 

You looked out of the windows so Dean wouldn’t accidentally notice the pain overtaking your face.

You pushed and pushed those memories away so deep down under that having them resurface again, even if for a couple of minutes, was almost too much.

It wasn’t even the memories themselves that were hurting you per say. It was the fear that they left behind. Fear of experiencing it all over again.

If your father would find you, even the Winchesters couldn’t help you out of relieving the nightmares all over again.

 

You were well and truly  _ alone  _ with this one.

______________________________________________________________________________

 

“I don’t care how you’re gonna do it! His first name should be enough! How many Adams are in this school anyways?!”

 

_ Jesus christ _ . Poor receptionist. It’s been going on half an hour now, and Dean’s volumes were only rising.

It was quite a show - him screaming into microphone like a madman and Sam backing him up, butting in here and there with ‘What did he say?’ and ‘Threaten to sue!’.

They were both utterly furious and, from your perspective - kind of insane.

If you had any time to feel guilty for the guy on the other line you would, fortunately though, you didn’t.

 

Snatching Dean’s laptop from the war table, you made your way to your room wishing that there could be some kind of a mute button to the two brothers.

You shut the door after you and plopped down on your bed.

Unfazed and sadly used to it by now, you closed the open asian porn tabs and opened a new window.

You entered (Y\F\N) to the search bar before your fear could make you back out.

 

_ ‘Fort Leavenworth Military Base KS’ _

Why is the name of a military base the first thing that comes up?

You glanced at the door behind you, listening intently for the intense fight that was still taking place in the living room.

Yes, you were pretty sure they wouldn’t barge in unannounced. You decided to read further.

 

_ ‘Fort Leavenworth is a military base located in Kansas, in the immediate proximity of the city with the same name. _

_ The base spreads over 2,300 ha and hosts more than 1,000 buildings. It is currently commanded by (Y\F\N).’ _

 

You stared at the screen with your mouth wide open. You stared at it and you stared some more, like it had an agenda and a personality and it just might have lied.

This was just too weird.

You just  _ had  _ to know more about him now..

Pulling a piece of paper out of your desk drawer, you quickly scribbled down the address. 

It was only a 2 hour drive.

You could catch a bus!

 

“I’m telling you just give me all of their numbers then! It’s just five boys, I’ll track the bastard down and I’ll-”

 

Dean’s voice was cut off by a reply which probably involved an explanation about the gravity of the violation of a student’s privacy, not to mention the kind of charges he would face if he was suggesting doing what you thought he was suggesting. 

You shoved the note into your pocket and stood up.

 

“Well if you’re really sorry for her than give me those damn numbers!”   
You advanced towards the angry hunter with a sigh, watching Sam standing besides him with his massive arms crossed in front of his chest. 

 

“Dean.”

You called, snatching the phone out of his hands and ending the call with a swipe of your finger.

“I’m confisticating this phone until you calm down.”

You announced, putting it behind your back in case he tried to steal it back. 

The hunter frowned at you.

“I was making progress! Why’d you have to go and do that?”   
  


You turned to the younger brother with what you hoped would look like a scolding frown.

“And you!”   
Sam shifted his head to the side, his lips pouty. He looked like a child who was being yelled at for eating out of a Nutella jar with a spoon.

You found the picture hilarious, making it considerably more difficult to keep your serious mask on.

“Why did you edge him on, huh? You’re supposed to be the responsible one!”

 

It seemed like Sam was finding the whole act funny as well, because his face broke out in a wide smile.

“If I say I’m sorry will you make me banana pancakes tomorrow morning?”

You tsked your teeth.

“Will you let me leave out the kohlrabi when you force me to eat your healthy salad tonight?”

Dean patted your shoulder.

“Add me to that.”

Sam’s smile stayed comfortably on his lips.

“Deal.”

 

As the brothers went each to his business, you fingered the little note in your pocket.

_ This  _ is what you would be losing if you didn’t do something about the situation at hand.

You swallowed down your doubt.

_ Tonight. _

______________________________________________________________________________

  
  


“I hate this.”

Dean muttered, finding it difficult not to tear out pages of the book he was reading and throwing them on the ground.

Sam sighed in annoyance, lifting his head up and balancing it on his hands with his elbows resting on the table.

 

“Dean.. just finish going over this one so we know what we’re up against, and then you can do whatever the hell you want, ok?”

The older man stood up all of a sudden, slamming his book closed.

“It’s not about the book!”

Sam’s eyes looked between his brother’s face to the book that would have broken the table had it been made out of a material any less sturdier than wood.

 

“It’s not…?”

The tall hunter questioned, raising his eyebrow suspiciously. Dean plopped back down in his chair, wearing a deep frown on his face.

“It’s not.”   
Sam picked up the abused copy of ‘Fairies And The Possibility Of Something Bigger’, and returned it to the pile, or rather one of the many piles of books crowding the table. He made sure to put it out of the grumpy man’s reach so he’d have nothing to focus on as a way to dodge his observant eyes. 

 

“Well what is it about then?”

Dean took a swift look down the hallway behind his back, scratching the back of his neck nervously.

Still not looking directly at his brother, he started. “Those stupid bullies, you know..?”

 

“She’ll deal. Believe me. She’s got friends to have her back.”

Sam insisted, although it was clear that he too was still bothered by the matter. Well, angry to say the least.

His brother rolled his eyes.

“Who? That tiny asian boy? He probably doesn’t even reach your belly button!”

 

“Not fair. You know I’m taller than most. Cut him some slack - (Y\N) seems to like him.”

Instead of answering Dean just huffed, crossing his hands in front of his chest.

“Doesn’t matter if she likes him. What do you think he’ll do when this damn ‘Adam’ decides to be a dick again, huh?”

Sam opened his mouth to answer, but the older Winchester out-spoke him.

 

“I just hate that I can’t protect her more.”

Dean stared down at the table.

“You know when you were a kid it was easy,”

He started, adding a gentle hand gesture and a nostalgic smile to the explanation.

“I would have disagree with you on this one, but go on,”

 

Dean looked up with a serious look, focusing his gaze back on his brother.

“No I’m dead serious dude. We were going to the same schools. I could watch over you,”

He stated in a matter-of-factly manner.

“Watching over me as in giving me the occasional awkward high five in the hallway? Admit it - most of the time I was ever spending with you back then was as a third wheel as you were busying yourself with eating some cheerleader’s face.”

 

Unfortunately for Sam, the blunt description only raised a smug face to the hunter’s lips.

“Oh she liked it,”

His chest seemed to push out with pride. Jeez..

“Whatever. Even if you  _ were _ able to protect her during school, do you think it’ll be something she would be ok with? Do you know how embarrassing it would be to have you following her around from class to class glaring at all of those poor kids?”   
  


“You're exaggerating. I wouldn’t be  _ that  _ bad.”

The expression he was wearing was telling a different story though. He  _ knew  _ how badly he’d be embarrassing (Y\N). Of course he knew.

“Right.”

Sam stated flatly. 

 

“Guys..?”   
Both brothers jumped. (Y\N)’s little head poked out from behind a large book shelf. She scampered over to their table, her head tilted slightly to her left, her eyes holding a hint of guilt.

Dean seemed to fold over himself in his chair. his freckles were quickly drowning in a pool of pinkish color. 

She definitely heard them.

________________

 

(Y\N) POV

You couldn’t help but smile at the expression on Dean’s face. The unusual way he was acting - like you just caught him watching The Notebook or something made you briefly forget about the conversation you’ve just overheard. About why you were now feeling like you’ve trampled all over the brothers trust.

 

“You really don’t need to worry about me all that much, ok?”

You started, taking a step closer to the older hunter. “I was just over reacting..”

Dean looked down at you with a scrutinizing gaze. 

“Well, you aren’t the  _ only _ one over reacting.”

Sam piped up from your right, his tone soft.

“We need to learn to trust you more.”

 

You internally cringed when he said that. They were gonna  _ kill  _ you for this. 

Not wanting to stick to the same subject, you quickly brought up something else that you knew would at least distract Dean for now.

“So when’s dinner?”

 

______________________________________________________________________________

 

It was 1:30 am in the morning as you hastily shoved your wallet into your backpack, throwing it over your shoulder and turning off the light behind you.

You tip toed your way to the front door, being as quiet as you could possibly be. There was no way you were risking getting caught on your way out.

The plan was to be back before sunrise.

 

You still didn’t know how or if you were even gonna be able to get inside the Base. When you zoomed in on it on Google Maps it wouldn’t even allow you to look any further than a couple of miles away from the actual facility. You’d be lying if that didn’t intimidate you.

You had to try though.

 

The way to Leavenworth was tiring. 

The busses you got on were mostly empty, excluding small groups of teenagers who were out partying if their spaced out expressions were saying anything.

You yawned lightly, looking out of the window. 

The road was dark, being lit up then and now only by the headlights of other cars.

Stars were sprinkled over the night sky, which took on a deep navy-blue color.

Staring at it gave you the feeling that you were inside of one of those snow globes, and the specks of light that the stars created were small snowflakes elegantly surrounding you with peace.

 

It was weird - even though you knew that what you were doing was going against all of the spoken  _ and  _ unspoken rules that the brothers have set, your chest was surprisingly light.

The closer you got to your destination, the more your heart started to throb with a strange sense of nostalgia.

You rubbed your fingers over your rapidly closing eyelids, fighting to not let sleep over take you.

Luckily the mechanical voice that announced your arrival at the right bus stop awakened you completely.

______________

 

As you stood in front of the big sign that read ‘ **United States Army Fort Leavenworth, Active Since 1827** ’ in bold black letters, you felt curiosity take over.

You didn’t know how, but you just  _ had  _ to get inside there somehow.

As you observed the  _ huge _ building in front of you, you noticed a man with a uniform guarding the front gate.

 

He was holding an M16 in his hands, a strap balancing it over his shoulder. 

Looking around and above him, there were many guard stations thrown all over the base. 

High walls surrounded it. They were covered with sharp looking barbed wire that swirled and swirled around and over the edge.

You could imagine that at daytime the shadow they cast was so big that it could envelop the whole town.

 

Be brave (Y\N). Be brave.

You walked over to the weapon wielding soldier whose muscles were bulging out even under his uniform.

The man squinted his eyes in your direction, looking thoroughly confused. He had a sharp jaw and menacing eyes that made you shiver at sight.

“Um, excuse me,”

You started, feeling extremely foolish now that you were actually within stepping distance from the intimidating man. What were you going to say??

 

He was observing you closely for a few long seconds as you struggled for words.

All of a sudden his eyes winded.

“You’re (Y\N) (Y\L\N), aren’t you?”   
______________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  


  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you guys think? I'm finally back to the regular schedule, although I'm thinking of updating once two weeks instead of one and making the chapters longer. This way I have a proper amount of time to edit everything. Which would you prefer?
> 
> I'm so SO glad to be back home for now. Boot camp was literal hell. Really made me appreciate life when you're not awakened at 4:00 in the morning with screams of "fire! fire!" (It was stupid a simulation to see how fast we reacted) and then made to run and carry things for the entire day, only to get one hour of rest before bed (Pff. Rest. We needed to organize our bags for the next day, talk to our parents because it was the only time a day we were actually allowed to use our phones, and shower. We were around 70 girls there mind you, and we had only 5 tiny showers).   
> Argh I promised myself I wouldn't babble on for too long, but jesus christ I just have to vent.
> 
> You know what I got punished for?? We had 30 seconds (And I MEAN 30 seconds) to finish carrying our beds out of our tents and then stand in a line without moving, and my water bottle was like two steps away from me instead of to the left of my foot. I obviously couldn't hold it while I was occupied with the bed, so I just left it there for a second.  
> I had to wait an hour after everyone when we were going home at the end of the week, and going home is everything we lived for.  
> One girl got three hours, not just one. (She was a freaking genius though. She later on got a doctor to sign her a couple of free days off at home because she 'had anal and her butt was hurting'. Of course she just made that up, but that is such a great way to tell the commanders to stop being butthurt.)  
> Seriously, some of the commanders were VICIOUS. Well all of them actually except one. We had this task where we needed to run from place to place in like 4 minutes with heavy ass bags on our shoulders, somehow manage to stand in perfect line after we spread a fur blanket on the floor and meticulously organized our cloths and about a hundred different stuff on top of it. When we couldn't do it perfectly we had to keep running from place to place in the heat and do it all over again. They made us do it for at least 8 times.  
> This one commander who was making us do it was crazy! We had to run around in circles around buildings and she could walk slowly in a straight line, and then she would yell at us "How is it that I made it here before all of you?!". Like, are you ffing kidding me?? 
> 
> Ok I'm gonna stop before I'll bore you guys to death, but just ARGH I'm glad to be back!


	20. I know this is a lot to take in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Y\N) has a very looooong day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this in two full nights. I got a weird motivation spike.  
> Ok Imma go take a nap. Enjoy~

You stared at the receptionist area as your guide walked away almost cheerfully. His energetic walk spoke volumes about the kind of trouble you’d be in if he found you still there, on one of the metal chairs arranged neatly against the wall when he got back.

The inside of the base - or at least what you’ve seen of it so far since he lead you in, seemed like just what you’d imagine it’d be: Neat. Organized. Prestine.

 

It looked almost a bit mechanical, if that made any sense. Everything - from the way the soldiers walked, talked, moved - heck even the way they scratched their neck! It was all done is such a robotic manner that you could almost forget that those were people who had their own family, friends, past. Their own personality. 

The fully identical uniforms were not helping. Soon you were sure you wouldn’t be able to distinguish the one soldier who lead you in from the others.

You shivered without even noticing. This was  _ not  _ a place you’d want to linger at.

 

You slowly got up, looking around a bit. Seeing the place from outside, you knew exactly how big the base was. It would be a chore to look for a specific room. 

Lucky for you though, the only hallway you couldn’t walk down was the one your guide walked through.

You brought your hands up to your shoulders and took a brave step towards the hallway on the opposite direction. In and out (Y\N). In and out. You’re already here anyways, which is not at all a given. This opportunity will not repeat itself.

 

So walk you did. 

The first few hallways looked the exact same - white walls, grey doors on each side, cold synthetic lights. Different signs on each door. Logistics, Special Operations, Departement Of Defence, Air Force.  

The soldiers seemed to be flowing through the walls like millions of little electricity lines connecting together to power up some sort of an enormous machine. You could almost imagine that this was what the inside of a computer looked like.

 

You stopped by what was probably your sixth’s, or maybe your seventh’s hallway? You couldn’t tell anymore.

This specific hallway seemed quieter than the others, and it gave you some time to think. To consider your options.

So far this base, though intimidating and you’d admit even a bit scary - was nothing you could call interesting or suspicious. 

It also sure as hell didn’t tell you anything about your father.

 

You pulled your phone out of your pocket to check the time. 3:25. Time to head back.

Your feet did a little swirl and landed in the other direction, only to stay glued to the ground when a man with a big, green surgical-looking gown passed by so fast that he didn’t even notice you standing there.

Were there medical rooms inside the base? There must have been.

Why were there no signs pointing to it though? That wasn’t very practical in emergencies...

 

The man was pushing in front of him a trolley with and empty washtub on it. It was sliding from side to side on the metallic surface with every little motion caused by the pace he was going at.

You instinctively hid behind a similar looking trolley that seemed to be abandoned in the middle of the hallway. Thinking about it now - there were a lot of those laying around, near walls, near rooms. Near those thick looking metal doors.

 

The man in the surgical gown slid a card through a slit in the wall, waiting impatiently until a little green dot appeared over it.

He threw the door open, rushing the trolley inside. It made a clicking sound when it closed after him, and the color of the little dot changed red.

 

You stayed there for a few seconds, crouched down low and observant. Now if you wanted something investigate - that would be it.

Unfortunately though, looking wasn’t cutting it. With the door closed there was nothing to see. If only you could hear -

But of course the door was sound proof.

Well… you could at least wait until someone came back out and maybe catch a glimpse.

 

You settled on the floor in a more comfortable position, throwing your legs at your sides indian style.

Your head started filling with unpleasant thoughts now that you had some time to spare. Actually to ‘spare’ wasn’t really the right word for it, what with the still imminent threat of you returning to the bunker after the boys have awaken.

You clutched your right hand around the purple tights Dean bought you while your left smoothed down the flannel Sam got you after you randomly commented on how much the material screamed ‘Winchester’.

 

Everything you had with you - your backpack, your phone, your boots.They were  _ all  _ Winchester. They accepted you into their weird family within a week of you staying with them. They did so much for you, and yet you spontaneously jumped on a bus to find out more about a father who has never cared or done anything for you in all the time he cared to spend in your presence.

The thought of them finding out that you were here was all around terrifying. 

 

You jumped when the door opened back up. The same man from before pushed the trolley in front of him with sterile gloves.

You had to tug your nose shut between a finger and a thumb when all of a sudden a strong stench erupted from the washtub.

It was the kind you couldn’t ignore. Like.. like the one time you stumbled upon a dead bird on your way to school.

 

The man rolled the trolley over to a small door in the wall and opened it. You noticed the way his face was contorted in a disgusted grimace as he picked up the washtub and threw its contents inside.  

He quickly deserted the now empty trolley where it was and hurried back to the door with the washtub in his hands, swiping his card and leaning on the wall like he was about to puke all over the floor.

 

Once he was back inside and the little dot once again turned red, you slowly emerged from your hiding spot. You were still pinching your nose as you quietly tip toed over to the trolley he left behind. When you stood by it the smell was so strong that even that didn’t help.

_ What the hell was in there? _

You took a long look at the trolley, but the sterile surface wouldn’t give away anything.

With a gulp you turned to your next best clue.

Slowly opening the small door with one hand, you pulled your head through to look inside.

Your heart stopped.

 

It was a garbage pipe. A garbage pipe for internal organs.

The pipe stretched on way way down, but you could see that there was enough there for it to start to gather. There was an incredible amount of blood flowing down as well. Some of it seemed already dry. Long dry actually.

Your heart was pounding in your chest like it was threatening to break through your ribs if you didn’t immediately put some space between you and the horrifying discovery you’ve made.

 

You were about to listen to it, you really  _ were _ , but all of a sudden you heard an ear piercing scream coming from inside.

Shocked, you realized that this garbage pipe was connected to the inside of the room, not just the outside.

_ “Write it down: Subject number 54 - failed.” _

You closed your eyes tightly. You don’t wanna look? That’s fine, but you have to listen! This is what you came for!

You wiped the thin layer of sweat gathering on your forehead.

 

_ “Time until incomplete transformation - 23 seconds. Time until death - 27 seconds. Suspected Cause - _ _ concentrated areas of increased melanin production, resulting in Xeroderma Pigmentosum.” _

A pause..

_ “Roll this one out the back.” _

You’ve never leaped to your feet faster, not feeling safe even when your entire form was hidden again behind the trolley you’ve cowered behind before.

 

You passed the next few seconds with a hand clutching at the area in your chest that felt like a quickly expanding balloon that would pop any minute.

The waiting was irreverent, doubting your ability to breath. You didn’t have the strength to prove it wrong.

When the door opened again, you wished you’ve never left your bed this night. You wished you’d still be snoring away in a safe distance from the only two guys you knew would protect you at all costs.

Why did you have to be so damn  _ curious? _

 

Luckily, your hiding place held and the man seemed more concentrated on getting rid of another batch of organs.

As soon as he was back inside you sprinted out the hallway, your breath hitching and your stomach turning. Nausiness attacked you out of nowhere, and you forcibly pushed the vomit back down your throat.

You barely saw where you were going -  _ you just wanted to get out of there! _

 

**“** **Units 13 to 19 assume condition Bravo. I repeat - Units 13 to 19 assume condition Bravo”**

The voice erupted from speakers you didn’t even notice on the walls, making you pick up your pace even though you didn’t know the implication of the words being said.

All you cared about was that they were loud, ringing in your ears and banging against your skull.

Your feet hit the ground over and over, having a life of their own. You just hoped you could trust them to lead you to the exit somehow.

 

You ran and ran and ran. Until your sides hurt and your gag reflex was so strong that you just had to stop to rest a bit. You crashed into a wall and held onto it for support.

Suddenly all you could think about was Sam and Dean. How much you needed them. 

_ But they weren’t there. _

They weren’t there to stand tall and strong by your side and keep you from harm. They weren’t there to hold you until the tide washed over, and now instead the tide turned into a tsunami and you felt yourself drowning, drowning drowning and you couldn’t keep your head above water and you choked on air that wasn’t even there anymore.

 

You slowly and bitterly realized something. 

This just might be it. You weren’t going to make it out of this one.

You pushed your luck too much, and now it was all going to be over before you could even apologize to them.

 

The sound of boots hitting the floor managed to make its way up your ears even when your heavy breathing seemed to overpower everything else.

Soldiers were running all around, looking like a herd of buffalo or bulls.

Your breath hitched when all of a sudden one of them fixed his eyes on you.

 

“GET HER!”

You took off running again with strength you didn’t know you still had left in you, tears starting to slide down your cheeks. You knew you couldn’t outrun them. Soon you will be caught. And they will.. What will they  _ do  _ to you?

You pushed by a wall as you turned towards a different hallway in hopes of losing them, trying to drown out their yells, but as soon as you did you bumped into something solid. Someone solid.

 

Someone in a uniform.

 

Hands grabbed you, closing over you in a caging grip that knocked the breath out of you much more than running did.

You struggled desperately, screaming your throat out until nothing could come out anymore. You bit at the arms around you like a rabid dog.

 

**_‘Relax and let him lead you out’_ **

You stopped moving altogether. 

_ Castiel?! _

**_‘Trust me. It will be ok. I won’t let anything happen to you.’_ **

You took in a big whiff of air and nodded to thin air. Cas.. How good was it to hear his voice..

All of a sudden you were lifted off the ground and shoved into another trolley, big hands making sure cloth was covering you from all sides. 

 

You held your breath as the man started pushing the trolley around, turning corners harshly until it came to an abrupt stop.

And then,

And then you were being thrown down, arms and legs flailing in the air as you tried to hold onto something - anything. 

The thick cloth was thrown with you and it was covering your eyes, obscuring your view. You vaguely recognized the vile stench filling your nostrils. 

 

The surface you slid down was sticky and wet, wet wet- 

You landed on something soft and squishy, completely and frozen in the position you fell.

The stench was now so strong that you couldn’t help it anymore. You vomited.

Your whole body felt weak as you blindly held into the surface beneath you.

Even more sweat started to gather on your forehead. It didn’t seem to go away no matter how many times you wiped at it furiously with your shaky arms.

 

Then you noticed something - the voices stopped. 

No yells. No thumping of boots. Nothing.

You jumped when you felt a breeze. A  _ breeze. _

Somehow, you had made it  _ out. _

Your hand started reaching for the cloth still covering you when suddenly-

“Don’t!”

You almost sagged with relief. Cas!

His voice wasn’t in your head like last time though.. It was coming from in front of you!

 

“Promise me you won’t open your eyes until I tell you to.”

Before you could answer hands wrapped around you. You were lifted off the ground and the cloth was tightened around your body, almost serving as a blanket.

“Promise me!”

The angel seemed desperate, so you nodded as quickly as you could manage, trusting him.

You could feel his approval by the way you were pulled deeper into his chest.

 

“Hold on for me, ok? I’m getting you out of here.”   
______________________________________________________________________________

 

You were sat down gently.

The sound of a faucet turning on was a blessing as warm as the water that followed.

“You can open your eyes now.”

Castiel said as he took the piece of cloth off your body and threw it somewhere behind him.

You popped your eyes open, praying that you were someplace far, far away from the military base you’ve stupidly snuck into.

 

The first thing you noticed was the angel. He was crouched down, holding the shower head in his hand as he checked for the warmth of the water. His shirt was covered in blood.

“What happened to you? Are you hurt?”

You sputtered worriedly, watching his concerned expression turn confused. 

He looked down to where your eyes were fixated, and then understanding dawned on his face. 

Sympathy filled understanding.

 

“(Y\N)...”

He muttered softly, he turned his head away from you with a bit of guilt in his eyes, his frown lines deepening.

“What?”   
You glanced down and suddenly noticed something very, very wrong.

The water.. It was turning red. The panic started to return as quickly as it left.

“I’m sorry, It was the only way I could get you out,”

 

Castiel explained, moving the shower head quickly over your bloodied clothes with one hand and scrubbing a lavender scented soap down your arm with the other.

“They warded the place from angels, I couldn’t zap you out,”   
The heavenly being kept talking, kept scrubbing and washing, but now that you knew how you really got out, the blood seemed redder and the stench seemed stronger. No amount of cleaning could wash it away.

 

_ You got out through the garbage pipe. _

You pushed at the tub beneath you, trying to stand up, but Castiel pushed you back down.

“Shhh, It’s ok now,”

He promised softly. You struggled in his grip as you felt another gag reflex kick in. 

Your head was spinning. It was like the floor was suddenly up on the ceiling and the ceiling was down on the floor. Like your left hand was actually your right and your right your left.

 

_ You had body parts.. Internal organs rubbed into your skin. You’ve used the blood to smooth down the rough edges of the pipe, you’ve used  _ **_human beings_ ** _ to soften your fall. Dead and dismembered human beings. _

“Hey (Y\N)! Focus on me, ok? I promise you everything’s ok,”

Castiel scrubbed the soap up your chin and then your cheek.

You were barely comprehending that he was even talking to you.

 

Everything was blurry. You stared blankly at the angel, trying to focus your gaze on him. You mumbled out something incoherently, not really knowing what you were even trying to say.

Cas’s voice had no meaning either. You watched his lips open and close and squinted your eyes when it turned into two mouths, and three mouths, and then his eyes multiplied too.

Black dots started covering your vision, closing in further and further.

They covered his ears, and then his eyebrows, and then his nose, and then-

______________________________________________________________________________

 

You opened your eyes groggily, feeling like you’ve just awakened from a years long sleep but was  _ still _ somehow tired.

You slowly sat up, your hands fisting around a soft fabric.

As your vision adjusted, you looked around the unfamiliar room with confusion.

You were laying on a bed, your clothes smelling of lavender and honey.

You picked your hand up and held it in front of your eyes, tilting your head to the side when instead of plaid it was now covered with a pink flowery print.

 

_ Where am I? _

 

“A motel in Phillipsburg, Kansas.”

You snapped your head in the direction of Castiel’s voice.

He was standing with his arms at his sides, his trench coat hanging awkwardly from his shoulders.

He changed his shirt, you noticed.

“What happened?”

The angel took a step in your direction, dragging a chair to the side of the bed and gracefully sitting down.

 

“You lost consciousness.”

He offered quietly. You straightened up, pushing your back against the bedpost for support.

“I did..?”   
He gave you a gentle nod.

You hated the cliche ‘Everything came back to me suddenly’, but that’s exactly what happened. It was like a blow of images being forced into your brain.

You brought your knees up to your chin. 

At least you had Castiel with you. You had to admit that it helped a  _ lot _ .

 

“What.. what did,”

You trailed off, not even knowing where to start. So much had happened.You didn’t know what to ask first.

Luckily for you, Cas understood.

“You came to the base in search of answers about your father, didn’t you?”   
You gulped, mouth staying shut even though what he said was completely true. It just felt like a crime now.

 

“(Y\N)... Your father is a shapeshifter.”   
**…**

“ _ What?” _ _  
_ The angel  nodded again.

“He is not  _ just  _ a shapeshifter though. He is the first of his kind. He is the  _ alpha. _ ”

All words seemed to be jammed too deep inside your throat to make it passed your lips. 

“Do you know what that makes you?”   
  


You straightened up defensively - almost angrily at that.

“This does  _ not  _ make sense. I’m not a shapeshifter. I’ve never shapeshifted my entire life!”

You took a deep breath.

“I’m not even biologically related to him! My mom,”

You started, shivering when unpleasant memories started flooding your mind.

“Had an affair, right?”

 

Your eyes jumped to Castiel. 

_ How did he know..? _

“That’s what she told you didn’t she?”

The angel’s gaze seemed to soften.

“(Y\N) your mother didn’t have an affair.”

As if what he was about to explain was gonna require someone sitting down next to you, Castiel got up from his chair and landed near your feet, tilting the cushions a bit.

 

“Your mom... she wanted to keep you safe. She wanted to make sure that you didn’t think you had any connection to him at all. She didn’t want you looking for answers.”

Before you noticed it he was running his fingers soothingly over the palm of your hand. It didn’t do much to calm your nerves though.

“This still doesn’t make any sense. I’m still  _ not  _ a shapeshifter.”

You insisted, straightening up even more on the bed.

 

“She fell in love with your father before she knew what he really was. At the time she was infatuated with him. When they decided to get married she was elated. She only found out he was a shapeshifter when she was already six months into her pregnancy.”

 

Castiel kept talking, as if anything he said so far disproved your last sentence.

“Around that time (Y\F\N) started getting abusive, and she was scared for herself and for her unborn child. She didn’t want you to become someone like him.” 

The angel took a long pause, his blue eyes sucking you into some sort of a vortex.

“So she contacted a witch.”

 

“When you were born, the witch disguised herself as a nurse, and while you were in deep slumber she cast a spell on you.”

“The spell couldn’t stop you from being what you were, but it could… halt it. Halt the transformation.”

 

You started to feel dizzy again.

“Halt it?”

You pushed the question out even though you didn’t want to exactly what the answer would be.

“It was never meant to last forever.”

Dread filled your stomach. You looked at Castiel with pleading eyes, even though you knew that he couldn’t do a thing. The way his eyes creased at the sides, lines digging deep into his flesh in sadness confirmed that.

 

“It had to be renewed every couple of years.”

Hope started to bubble in your chest. 

“The night she took off with you, that was one of those nights.”

You shivered at the memories of furniture being thrown as you hid yourself from the yells on the staircase leading to the second floor. It was a horrible night.

 

“When you were sleeping she sneaked the witch in, but unfortunately as she was leaving, your father decided to come back home early. He saw her.”

You sat there in complete silence. No sound left your mouth. It was almost as if your vocal cords were stretched too tight to work. Too tight that they were almost tearing apart.

The angel laid his hand gently on your head, his touch somehow grounding you into this horrible new reality.

 

“I know this is a lot to take in.”

What were the brothers gonna think? They  _ hunted  _ things like you! 

Without even noticing it, your eyes started filling with tears again. Your eyelids were like two heavy blankets urging you to sleep and never wake up again. You almost felt obliged to take their advice.

Who will miss you anyways?

Sam and Dean would no doubt hate you. You had no family left besides an abusive monster. You had one friend - but you were sure Yuuki could get used to your absence and fall back into his quiet existence. And Castiel..?

 

“ _ I would suggest you stop this line of thought immediately. _ ”

Your breath hitched and you lowered your head in shame. But you were right, weren’t you?

“Wrong.”

He said it like it was a fact. His tone firm and his eyes boring into yours. You fidgeted in your place unconsciously.

He didn’t care to give you an explanation as to why your assessment was wrong, instead he stood up from the bed and reached a hand in your direction.

 

“Come on. This is all I’m willing to share with you for now, and we need to get you back to the bunker. Sam and Dean are probably already losing their minds with worry.”   
You glanced at the window beside your bed with panic.  _ Shit shit shit shit! _

There was already light outside!

Instead of taking his hand, you stayed frozen in place. You couldn’t go back now.

How would you face them?

 

You broke their laws and snuck out. You tricked them, and now you had just found out that you were also one of the only things on earth that they despised with all of their hearts - a  _ monster. _

You shook your head furiously, backing away on the bed. Away from the awaiting angel. Away from the one creature who could bring you face to face with the winchesters with only a snap of his fingers.

 

You backed away so quickly that you didn’t notice where the bed ended, and you fell butt first on the cold floor.

Castiel was in front of you in a second, crouched down with an unreadable expression on his face.

“(Y\N).”

The way he said your name was hard and scolding. 

You just kept shaking your head, shivering all over. You hated that tone of his. You  _ hated  _ it.

“Please don’t make me do this!”

 

You begged, your voice breaking with every word just like your heart was.

The angel seemed unmoved by your constant sobbing. If anything, he seemed a bit angry. He reached his hand forward again.

“You will take my hand and we will go back to the bunker.”

When you were still refusing to do as he said, he added an assertive “ _ Now. _ ”

He gave you no other choice. 

You quietly laid your hand in his.

______________________________________________________________________________

 

You stood at the bunker’s front door, Castiel like a brick wall behind you, not allowing you to take even one step back.

You cringed when you heard Dean yell his throat out into his phone. Sam was calling out for Cas.

You hesitantly stepped foot into the living room, watching the two brothers run from one side of the room to the other with deep frowns on their faces, knowing that the only reason why they weren’t focused on calmly eating breakfast right now was because of you.

 

“ _ Look at them.” _

The angel’s voice echoed in your head loudly.

_ “Do you know how many times I’ve seem them like this since they took you in?” _

The last sentence felt like a slap to the face. You _ hurt  _ them. 

_ “(Y\N).. I care for you - don’t you ever doubt that. But I also care about them.” _

Guilt felt like it was injected into your bloodstream like a drug, but instead of making things hazy, it only strengthened your grip on here and now. It flowed through your body, unrelenting and insistent. 

 

How were you even gonna tell them anything? How were you going to explain..?

_ “They know parts of it already, but since I can’t trust you to tell them the whole truth on your own - I’m not gonna tell you exactly which parts they know and which they don’t. _

_ You’re gonna have to figure this out on your own.” _

And then, just like that, his presence disappeared.

_____________________

 

Be brave (Y\N). You can do this.

You watched as the brothers continued on with their worrying, completely unaware that you were in the same room as them. 

Your heart was beating fast. They looked terrified. Dean’s hand was pinching the bridge of his nose, his jaw tight, shoulders tense. Throat dry from yelling.

Sam was not any better. His eyes were red, his shoulder length hair was frazzled and he was sweating so much that he looked like he’d just ran a marathon.

 

However bad you were feeling right now, you were nowhere  _ near  _ the brothers.

“G-Guys…?”

Two pairs of shocked eyes landed on you, glazed over with panic and a hint of wetness that you didn’t want to believe was the beginning of tears.

_ You’ve managed to make them cry…?? _

You swallowed down the urge to turn back and run out the door, after all Castiel wasn’t there anymore..

 

The two lunged at you before you could act on that thought.

Dean crushed you into his chest roughly, and then pulled you away just as quick.

They both crouched down in front of you, their eyes roaming your small form for injuries. They both let out a huge whiff of air when they found none.

Suddenly you couldn’t take it anymore - their eyes were mixed with so many emotions. Anger. Hurt. Betrayal. Worry. 

Love?

You broke down crying for the hundredth time this day, clutching at their shirts, desperately fighting for air.

 

“ _ I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, _ ”

It was like a mantra, and you couldn’t bring yourself to stop chanting it. Not just for you, but for them too. It was the only thing that lessened the guilt.

Dean slowly brought his hand down to cup your cheek, his thumb pressing into the skin until you knew that it must have turned white. It wasn’t meant to comfort.

Sam on his part was clutching your shoulder in the exact same way. 

 

“I don’t forgive you.”

 

Time stopped. So did your heart.

Nothing has ever hurt quite so much before.

That was it. You’ve ruined the one good thing that you had in this life. The one thing you cared about more than anything else in this world.

Strangely the tears stopped too, almost like they realized that they had no purpose anymore.

Your chin was yanked up to face the seething older hunter.

 

“You betrayed our trust, you lied to us, you put yourself in danger,”

He listed off, punctuating each wrong with a tone so harsh and so dissapointed that you wished that the ground would show some mercy and just swallow you whole. You couldn’t stand the way he was looking at you.

“We keep giving you second and third chances, but you never learn.”

Your head tilted down in shame, wishing you could take it all back.

 

Silence followed. Cold and heavy, crushing your hopes into the floor. 

They weren’t going to let you stay, were they?

“If you want us to forgive you this time, you’re gonna have to work  _ hard. _ ”

Your jaw dropped.

“I’ll do anything! I promise! I’ll - I’ll cook! And I’ll clean! And,”

Sam stopped you with a hard look. You closed your mouth immediately.

 

“We don’t need any of that.”

Dean confirmed.

“We just need one thing.”

You instantly jumped up. 

“Anything! I promise!”

Regarding you with a long, serious look, the older hunter made sure that your eyes were nowhere but on his.

“House rules (Y\N). You’re gonna know them by heart. You’re gonna write them down, memorize them, repeat them every night before you go to bed for all I care.”

You nodded after every word, determined to do things right this time.

 

“Rule number one, and it is the most important one out of all of them so you better listen.

You do not put yourself in danger. Ever.”

You took a deep breath and nodded again, giving Dean the cue to continue. He took a long pause on purpose, knowing that the silence would make you internalize everything more efficiently. When he was a 100% sure it sunk in he announced the next one.

“Rule number two: If something bad happens you do  _ not  _ try to solve it on your own. You talk with us first, and if we’re not available you talk to cas or Charlie. You do not deal with it alone.”

 

“Rule number 3: You do not sneak out.”

You mumbled a quiet ‘Yes Dean’ before he moved on to the next one.

“Rule number 4: You do not lie to us about life threatening matters and or matters that have to do with your well being. By the way, not telling us about them is the same as lying. So no hiding stuff either.”

Sam fixed you with a look that told you that they already know you were hiding something from them. You gulped.

 

“And finally number 5: You do not get involved with cases. That last time on the ship was Sam’s fault so I’m not blaming you,”

Dean gave his brother an accusing look before continuing.

“But that will never happen again. Clear?”

“Yes Dean.”

You squeaked out.

 

“I expect you to follow each and every one of those rules (Y\N). I mean it.”

“Yes Dean.”

Said man kept his hard eyes on you for a while, making your breath catch in your throat.

Finally, after what felt like years, a gentle smile climbed to his lips.

He pulled you in for a bone crushing hug, kissing the crown of your head softly. His arms closed around you tightly and he cradled you close to his heart.

 

“Welcome back sweetheart.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys like it! I planned on writing a short mini story there at the end, but I'm too tired.  
> Anyways, tell me what you think in the comments :)


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Y\N) makes a big decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry it took me this long to update! Anyways, here you go, enjoy!

You straightened up in your bed with panic, your heart pounding loudly. With a shaking hand you wiped a heavy layer of sweat off your forehead and drew in a deep breath

Another nightmare.

To be honest, up until now you have felt quite lucky. Over the course of only five months you’ve managed to absorb every bit of traumatic experiences that insanity had to offer, and yet you still considered yourself  _ sane _ .

 

It wasn’t easy. It was anything  _ but  _ easy. You had absolutely no control over how sadistic the world decided to be to you each passing day.

You also had no control over how ridiculously worried both the brothers were at the moment.

Somehow that was even worse.

You lost count of how many times you’d catch them sneaking glances at you. Especially when you were somewhere by yourself. At some points you have actually started to suspect that they were taking turns watching you.

It was driving you  _ nuts. _

 

You threw your arms out, stretching them and glancing at the clock by your bedside. 

It was 4:23 in the morning. Too early to wake up.

Sadly though, waking up at a normal hour was a thing of the past now.

You haven’t told the brothers about it because you knew that they already had a whole lot to deal with, but you had a feeling that they knew anyways.

 

Knowing that trying to go back to sleep now would be fruitless, you stood up and made your way to the bathroom.

After flushing, you eagerly splashed some water over your face, wanting to scrub away any last trace of the nightmare that was still making your eyes burn.

Next, you picked up your toothbrush and dropped a hefty amount of toothpaste on it.

Weird how something like a simple dream could leave such a bitter taste in your mouth.

 

After a thorough scrub you spit out the water into the sink. For some reason the action made you feel a bit better. Kind of like the relief you got after puking.

You met your own eyes in the mirror, observing the way they reddened and the skin around puffed. If this was the way you looked every morning then maybe Sam and Dean did have a reason to worry. It was lucky that you didn’t have to go to school for a while, or rumors would start emerging about how you must have abusive parents.

 

Oh yeah. They  _ grounded  _ you. For a full  _ month _ .

Actually, maybe you should take it back. Keeping you locked up for this long  _ had  _ to be some form of child abuse.

With a sigh you went back to scrubbing your eyes. 

When you opened them back up you jumped back until you hit the wall.

Your breathing accelerated.

 

For a second there you thought they were bright green. Not (Y\E\C).

Jesus christ! Those nightmares must have had more influence over you than you wanted to believe.

 

**“** **_(Y\N)!_ ** **”**

Dean’s panicked cry snapped you out of your thoughts.  _ What the hell? _

You hurried out of the bathroom, running through the hallway until you came face to face with the hunter’s back. You quickly tagged at his grey robe, drawing his attention to your presence.

He turned around instantly.

“What the hell (Y\N)?! You scared the hell outta me!”

 

That definitely caught you off guard.  _ You  _ scared the hell out of  _ him _ ?

“Uhh.. what?”

Dean’s eyes twitched in annoyance. Crossing his hands in front of his chest and widening his stance a little, the hunter looked almost like a cartoon character of a father about to scold his child. He gave you a hursh glare.

“ _ What? _ ” 

He copied with disbelief, his eyes digging into yours as a frown settled on his lips.

 

“Yes  _ what _ ? What the hell did I  _ do _ ?”

You questioned with a frown of your own. What the hell was his problem?

Dean narrowed his eyes at your tone.

“Ok new rule (Y\N): You do  _ not  _ raise your voice at me.”

His renewed glare made you feel like a spoiled brat. It also caused some shivers to go down your spine.  _ Woops _ .. New rule  _ noted _ . 

 

“Sorry..”

You mumbled, looking up at him sincerely. The last thing you wanted to do was to get on his nerves again. Not just because the rough hunter was hot tempered and you were already walking on thin ice with him, but because you honestly wanted to make it up to the brothers.

You dropped your head down with guilt.

It seemed that Dean was happy with the action. Probably because he was looking forward to forcing you to look directly into his eyes again. Which he  _ did _ . With a  _ not so gentle  _ tag on your chin.

 

“Why are you out of bed?”

This felt like a trick question. Was this a trick question?

Dean clicked his tongue, impatient and growing more so by the second.

“Because I needed to pee…?”   
Your reply sounded more like a question, and you could see it irked him.

“ _ Really? _ ”

 

“Yeah…”   
The answer didn’t satisfy him for some reason though. 

“Sam!” He called, not removing his eyes from you. A tired “Coming,” was heard echoing through the hallway as the giant’s feet connected heavily with the floor.

The taller man approached with a hand in his messy hair and a long yawn.

“What?”

He finally slurred, his eyes half closed as he took his place next to his brother.

Dean only gestured over to you.

 

“(Y\N) what are you doing out of bed?!”

The sleepiness magically disappeared from his face, leaving behind a strange combination of worry and.. Suspicion? What was up with them this morning?

“I had to pee.”

This time it was much more of a statement than a question, and you tried to not let your irritation leak. 

 

“Is there something wrong with that?”

You demanded, though still trying to keep in mind the new not raising your voice rule.

The brothers exchanged thoughtful looks. 

“You telling the truth?”   
Dean questioned. They were both looking at you like you were hiding some crack under your shirt or something. 

“Yes I’m telling the truth!”

Why was it so difficult for them to believe that you had to go to the bathroom?

“Why would I lie?”

 

Your answer made Dean’s shoulders tense, and Sam was now giving you one of his famous bitch faces. A long and loaded one.

“Oh I don’t know, because that seems to be something you’ve been doing a lot lately?”   
The younger man’s voice was laced with sarcasm, and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t hurt.

“Well I’m not!”

Sam huffed. He turned to face his brother.

“Hear that? She said she’s not lying. Problem solved.”

 

You tensed with frustration as the two kept their angry eyes trained on you. They were both trying to inflict as much pain on you without turning to their instincts, which, you guessed with a shudder, were probably a bit more...  _ aggressive  _ than just glaring.

Dean took a step in your direction, his walk measured. It were times like these where the word ‘Hunter’ on the man’s resume became loaded with meaning, and  _ not  _ a meaning you particularly liked.

 

“(Y\N),”

He started, glancing briefly behind his back at his pissed off younger brother, who for once happened to have weaker control over his feelings than him.

“You do understand why we might be a little untrusting with your actions, right?”

He was saying the word ‘actions’ like it meant something no short of you shoplifting or god forbid maybe even breaking into his baby.

Still. You tried to take him seriously, as you didn’t really feel like ticking off either of the brothers any more than you already have.

 

“I.. I,”

You really didn’t know what to say. 

Sam, who was up until a minute ago standing behind his brother with silent rage, buried his face in his hands. His fingers tried to wipe sleep out of his eyes. Sleep - and defeat, and frustration, and hurt,

And betrayal.

“I’m going back to sleep. I can’t deal with this right now.”   
  


You watched, eyes wide as the giant returned to his room in with his back lowered. 

Maybe it was because he was quickly putting distance between you and Dean, or maybe it was because his body seemed to be almost folding over itself - but the man looked almost as short as you all of a sudden.

Guilt started settling in your stomach, and you took a step forward to follow him, but Dean quickly blocked your way.

“I think he meant it. Let him go for now.”

 

When you looked at the hunter’s concern filled eyes you could all of a sudden understand why it was him and not Sam who was keeping his composure quite so admirably. He was taking the big brother role again.

“Dean..”   
You started, wanting to explain to him that you truly  _ were  _ sorry, but for some reason your mind was in a big jumble and you couldn’t utter one word without feeling like he wouldn’t understand you at all.

 

It was all nice and easy for him, wasn’t it? He spoke Winchester fluently. You, on the other hand, while still managing to understand a sentence’s meaning here and there - were still a novice.

You scratched your arm nervously, making white lines appear on your skin. You couldn't help but feel that you deserved them to turn red instead.

 

“Is… is there anything I can do to make it better?”   
A big hand covered your own as you glanced up into the hunter’s disapproving eyes. He pulled your hand away as his other started soothing the already partly damaged area on your arm.

“For starters, you can stop taking your anger out on your body.”

You could only nod as he tightened his grip on you. He gave you one last look before letting go and making his way back to his room.

 

You watched quietly until he left your view.

Your mind started wandering back to the younger hunter, and it felt like a thousand little needles were jammed into your chest at once, like you were having one of those chinese needle treatments done on you by a really inexperienced trainee.

You never meant to make him feel the way you did. His decision to just leave instead of yelling or getting angry at you was hard to deal with. You preferred scolding, but there was none of that.

 

You had to talk to him.  _ Had  _ too.

Dean wouldn’t approve, but it was worth a try. 

You hesitantly made your way over to the man’s room, opening the door without knocking, since you guessed he would just tell you to go away, but to your surprise you found something else entirely inside.

Sam was sleeping.

I mean, yes he said he was going back to sleep, but how did he manage to fall asleep so quickly?

 

You sneaked over silently, settling at the foot of his bed with your eyes in level with his closed ones, staring.

You cursed at your inability to understand the man. Here you were, finally ‘eye to eye’ with the tall, frustrating enigma in human form, and his damn  _ eyes _  were closed!

How were you supposed to know what kind of thoughts he was thinking? What kind of feelings he was feeling?

How were you supposed to make up with him when he wasn’t even willing to let you look into his eyes so you could uncover all of those secrets he was hiding behind those hazel depths of his?  

 

You laid your arms out in front of you next to his head and rested your cheek and chin on them, looking at him sideways.

______________________________________________________________________________

 

The older Winchester grabbed a bottle of beer out of the fridge and rummaged around some more for something to go with it, before giving up and slamming it shut.

They were running low on anything edible. The only things he could find were disgustingly healthy ‘food’. Like broccoli. Or peas. Or brussel sprouts.

Bleagh.

 

He had to talk with Sam about his eating habits. If he had to hear one more time about one of his avocado and strawberry caprese recipes he would seriously consider buying another fridge just so his big macs and apple pies wouldn't have to share room with those poor mutated experimentations. 

Really. Who was the genius who thought putting avocado and strawberries together in the same dish was a good idea?

He stared at the bottle gripped in his hand for a couple of seconds before adding a second one. They connected with a loud clink as he balanced them between two fingers and a thumb.

 

With one of his more prominent annoyance lines delving into the skin between his eyebrows, the hunter walked over to his brother’s room.

 

“Hey hippie, how about next time you just stop by some flower field and nibble on the grass instead, huh?”   
He offered with a smug smirk and an imaginary pat on his shoulder at his own joke.

When he got no answer the hunter huffed grumpily.

“Hey that was a good one, don’t tell me you’re asleep just when I come up with something that can actually rival your bitch face powers.”

Still no answer.   
  


Dean sighed, opening the door and peeking inside, confirming his suspicions with a frown.

He was about to go back to moping about his lack of a mid-day snack (and the impossibility of ordering a pizza because the secluded area the bunker was based) when he noticed something out of place. 

Well,  _ someone _ out of place.

(Y\N) was snoring away at Sam’s side, her nose buried in the mattress with her lower half thrown in an uncomfortable looking position on the floor.

 

His entire life was spent looking for the unnatural and the abnormal, but somehow the fact that his younger brother managed to sleep through the loud noises coming out of the sleeping girl was much stranger to him than any ghost or monster he have ever encountered. Maybe the suicidal teddy bear took first place, but this right here was definitely a strong second.

She looked completely wasted. He doubted that even if he went over and yelled right next to her ear she’d wake up.

 

Throwing a glance at a dresser beside the bed, Dean spotted a neatly folded fur blanket.

He picked it up, shoving it under his armpit as he reached for the girl, gently sliding his other hand beneath her stomach and maneuvering her up on the bed and next to Sam.

When she was settled comfortably with her mouth wide open and one of her arms flung over her forehead, he unfolded the blanket and threw it over the two sleeping individuals in front of him with a small sigh, making sure he tucked it well around their bodies at both ends so that they could continue their deep slumber without getting cold. 

 

They were already enough work as it was. He really didn’t feel like taking the role of the nurse too when they caught a cold, in addition to… whatever role it was he was already assuming.

______________________________________________________________________________

 

You woke up feeling extremely comfortable. If this were Skyrim then you definitely achieved the ‘well rested’ effect.

It took you a while to put together why your surroundings smelled like.. Well.. Sam?

With your eyes still closed you took in the smell even more. 

You weren't gonna tell yourself crap about how it smelled like ‘beer and a manly musk’. Or what was it you kept reading lately in those Vampire Diaries fanfics? ‘Earth, sweat and gunpowder’?! Jeez, the guy didn’t smell that much!

 

It did smell like Sam though. Oh boy  _ did it _ .

You felt around for a bit, coming to the conclusion that the combination of long hair a muscular chest could only mean it was the giant you knew and loved. 

When did you manage to wiggle in under the covers? Were there covers in the first place when you found him asleep?

Did you sleep walk?

 

You slowly opened your eyes, meeting a pair of hazel ones that were just as alarmed as you were.

Your latest action didn’t help the red that must have settled over your cheeks. You know, with the whole  _ touching _ , and -

Before you could apologize the man jumped out of his bed, looking really gawky and out of place in his own room.

You took hold of the blanket still covering your body. This was looking way too much like those typical hollywood scenes where  _ oh god stop that train of thought right now! _

 

“Um..”

You stuttered, trying to disturb that god damned silence that engulfed the two of you.

The tall hunter coughed into his fisted hand, trying his own at achieving the same result, but it seemed that awkwardness had a thing for you today.

“I- I was just, uh,”

You started again. 

All of a sudden a loud laugh coming from the direction of the door made the two of you jump.

 

Dean was standing there, clutching at his stomach as he doubled over with laughter.

“The look on your face!”

He managed to get out as he pointed at Sam, his other hand moving up to wipe a tear from his eye.

Sam took exactly two seconds to turn from embarrassed to extremely annoyed. So annoyed in fact, that his left eyebrow would not stop twitching, and the glare he shot him was so menacing that if Dean wasn’t, well - Dean, 

_ You get the gist of it. _

 

“Do you have nothing better to do?”   
It was all said ‘calmly’ and oh so quietly, but you knew Sam well enough by now that your self concious was making hurried plans on climbing down that magic bean you’ve been sitting on as soon as you could because the giant was  _ not  _ happy. 

“ _ Fee fi fo fum _ ,  _ Be he alive, or be he dead, _

_ I'll grind his bones to make my bread _ ”

You were pretty sure the story went something like that. 

Oh god.  _ Vegan  _ bread. You should  at least get the chance to keep  _ some  _ of your dignity!

Luckily it wasn’t directed at you.

 

“Well don’t blame me, if I left her the way she was she would get cramps all over!”   
Dean defended, completely unfazed by the extent of the reaction he was getting. 

You weren’t ready for the way Sam was looking at you all of a sudden. Studying you.

You tugged at your blue sweater, unconsciously bringing it up to cover a small part of your face.

“(Y\N)...?”

 

Sam’s tone was questioning. Confused.

“I just, I wanted to know how you were feeling about everything! You’re so hard to read!”

The hunter raised an eyebrow, probably not understanding how that translated into falling asleep watching him, and rightfully so, to be honest.

You pulled at your sweater in frustration, deciding that an explanation for that was going to take a lot more time than you wanted it to.

 

“Look.. is there anything I can do to make it all better? I hate the way we are lately,”

You asked the same question again, giving Dean a quick but meaningful glance, just in case he missed the fact that you meant it to be directed at him too.

The brothers shared a pregnant pause, communicating just with their eyes.

Finally, Sam leaned down to your height, leaning besides the bed.

 

“Tell us what you’ve been hiding from us. We can’t tiptoe around this anymore.”

Your breath hitched. 

Tell them you’re a monster.

The way they were looking at you expectedly, so..  _ Innocent.  _ Sam and Dean Winchester. Innocent.

This sentence should not sound so right, but it  _ did _ .

You couldn’t deal with shattering their image of you. Making them hate themselves for letting a shapeshifter in their home.

 

Would they… would they go after you?

You thought back to all they’ve done for you. Buying you clothes, helping you with school work, feeding you. They took care of you. No. they wouldn’t do that.

They would however, pack your bag with your favorite fur blanket, lots of food, and money so that you could get by. 

But they wouldn’t let you stay.

 

“No.”

Dean looked at you with his eyes open wide. His nostrils flared with anger.

He was about to take a step in your direction when Sam blocked his way, giving you an almost pleading look.

No. Not almost. It was definitely pleading. He looked desperate. You wished you could give him what he wanted. 

 

Maybe it was selfish, not letting them know the truth, but you wanted their memory of you to be of the real you. The one they cared for. The one they…  _ loved. _

You swallowed back your tears.

“(Y\N)... rule number four.”

The sound of Sam’s breaking voice almost broke you, but you held your eyes to his despite it all.

You were moving out one way or the other. This way… at least they didn’t hate you.

 

“I’ll crush at Charlie’s until I figure things out.”

Which was probably never.

The younger hunter cast his eyes to the floor, seemingly unable to keep eye contact with you anymore.

Dean by now pushed his brother aside, crouching in front of you.

His face was hard and unmoving. He didn’t let anything slip by.

 

When he spoke however, it seemed that his control over his emotions cracked if only just a bit. You knew he was strong, but you had a feeling this crack in his composure could turn into a big black hole and you didn’t want to be the one who threw him into that kind of darkness.

“Why?”

That was all he asked. Just this one tiny word. One stupid word, and you couldn’t give him the answer!

You admired the way he kept a straight through all of this so bravely. You were doing so much  _ worse _ .

 

“ _ I’m sorry _ .”

You couldn’t stop the tears from bursting out anymore. They washed down your cheeks like two humongous waterfalls, wetting the sheets beneath your fisted hands.

You wiped them off with the blanket, sending Sam a pained look.

“ _ I’m sorry _ ,”

You repeated, your voice barely over a whisper.

This really was goodbye…

 

With strength you didn’t know you had you got up, standing on your tiptoes as you planted a kiss on Sam’s cheek, before doing the same for Dean.

The two of them looked at you with pained eyes.

“(Y\N) come on, tell us, we can fix this!”

You only shook your head at the giant, forcing on a smile.

“Thank you for everything. I.. I love you guys. I always will. I’m sorry.”

______________________________________________________________________________

 

Charlie sat at her black plastic chair, her fingers typing on her keyboard.

Her orangey red hair was flung over her shoulder wet from the shower, which she didn’t bother to dry it as she kept sneaking glances at the girl behind her on her couch.

She didn’t tell her what happened, and neither did those stubborn brothers, so she was left to make up stories in her mind, which was not comforting in any way.

 

She could see the way (Y\N)’s eyes puffed and reddened. She could also see the way the Winchesters looked when they brought her over.

Devastated. 

In all the years she knew them she had never seen them so broken.

The three didn’t exchange one word as the fourteen year old dragged her bag over to the spare room Charlie had offered and closed the door behind her. 

 

She tried to get them to spill, but the hunters didn't budge. Instead all she got was a note listing things they thought she should know about (Y\N), like what her favorite food was, her best friend’s phone number, a detailed explanation on how important it was that she’d eat her vegetables (which she guessed was written by Sam), and an almost heart breaking description on how to calm her down after a nightmare in case she had one.

And then they just left.

 

She couldn’t understand how they could do that. They obviously loved the girl. Treasured her even, and yet here she was, standing by the window listening to the engine of the Impala as Dean maneuvered his praised car out into the night.

As soon as everything turned quiet again her trained ear caught a whimper. 

Charlie silently closed her laptop shut, making her way to the crying girl who was huddled into herself in an attempt to hide her pain.

 

“Hey..”   
The redhead started, taking a seat on the couch.

Before she could utter one word of reassurance (Y\N) leaped into her hands, sobbing into her chest so loudly that she was sure her neighbors could hear.

She softly brushed strands of wet hair out of the girl’s face, trying to comfort her. It was useless. The wails only got higher and louder, and she knew that the only two people who could fix it were too far away to hear.

 

Someone  _ did  _ hear though.

______________________________________________________________________________

 

When (Y\N) finally fell into a disturbed sleep, Charlie sighed in relief. She covered the girl with a blanket she found in her polka dot covered bag, hesitated a bit, and then pulled out a pair of thick grey earphones as well. She spotted a scribbled ‘ _ Dean’s _ ’ on the side of it with a permanent marker and wondered if having them on would help her relax a bit.

All of a sudden the sound of the flapping of wings came from behind her.

 

The hacker jumped and turned around, staring at the familiar blue eyed angel.

“How is she?”

He asked, his deep voice filled with concern, and, was that guilt?

“Castiel,”

Charlie started, not being able to keep the surprise out of her voice. She hadn't known he even knew the girl, let alone was close enough to worry about her.

 

“She’s…”

The redhead struggled for words, before letting out a defeated sigh.

“What  _ happened?  _ Sam and Dean wouldn’t tell me anything, and all (Y\N) did since they dropped her off was cry. And when I say cry I mean  _ cry _ , I have never seen anyone cry like this before, and -”

“It’s my fault.”

Charlie opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, stared at him for a long minute, and then blinked in confusion.

 

“What?”

Castiel looked at the floor in shame. 

“It’s my fault. I told her that I didn’t tell them everything. I thought if she’d come out with it herself then maybe… I see now that I was wrong.”   
The angel kept staring downwards, his mouth almost quivering.

“What are you talking about?”

Castiel lifted his eyes when Charlie got up and stood besides him.

 

“They know  _ everything _ .  _ All of it  _ and they still value her enough to keep her by their side.”

Realizing she wasn’t gonna get much else out of the angel,  _ and  _ that she was going to have yet another wreck to put back together, the redhead lead him over to her desk chair and pulled him down so he could sit.

“Ok, well we can fix this, whatever it is. I promise.”

 

Castiel looked up at his newfound ally with hopeful eyes. Charlie gave him a gentle smile, squeezing his hand reassuringly.

“We'll fix this. You’ll see,”

______________________________________________________________________________

 

“You’re gonna  _ like  _ this.”

Lord (Y\L\N) looked up from his desk.

“Oh am I now?”

Roy had a sick smile on his face.

“ _ Our little girl finally wandered off too far from home.. _ ”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you guys think? I thought this chapter would go a completely different way, but it ended up like this in the end.  
> I'm sorry it took me so long to update. I've had a bunch of personal issues to deal with and a massive writer's block.  
> I re-read it only twice so I apologize in advance for any errors I might have made.  
> Hope you enjoyed! It was a bit dramatic, I know, and I can't promise you the next chapter will be less so, but we'll see...


	22. Damn it, Cas.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone tries to figure out what's going on. It proves to be pretty damn difficult.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! Here you go ~

_ There they were, waiting for you at the front door with their arms wide open. They both wore huge smiles on their faces, and their eyes were twinkling with compassion and understanding. _

_ “It doesn’t matter to us what you are,”  _

_ Sam announced, and you felt like your heart became so warm that it could level the heat of the sun. You started running in their direction, your arms flailing at your sides without any other purpose but to let out the excitement that was bubbling inside your stomach. _

 

_ “Come home to us, sweetheart.” _

_ Dean’s voice made you pick up your pace. You couldn’t wait to jump into their arms and permanently glue yourself to their comforting presence. _

_ You wanted to be by their side again, you wanted to pass through that bunker door so desperately, but all of a sudden the distance between you grew, and you found yourself getting further and further away from the brothers. _

 

_ Panicked, you ran even faster, your hand reaching forward only to grub thin air. You screamed at them to wait, to let you catch up, but to your horror the door slammed shut in front of you before they could hear anything. _

_ “No!” _

“ **No!** ”

 

You straightened up in your bed, breathing heavily. Your heart was pounding a million times per second.

“(Y\N)?”   
Your door opened and in stepped a noticeably worried Charlie.The redhead was immediately by your side.

“What’s wrong?”

Her gentle hand came to rest on your sweaty forehead, cooling it a little and making your chest feel just a little less constricting.

 

“Nothing. Just a nightmare.”

You didn’t want to worry the girl too much, She was already doing so much for you.

Charlie took a deep breath, leaning down a little to look you in the eye.

“You wanna talk about it?”

She asked gently. Her eyes creased at the sides with concern. 

You shook your head and you loved her even more when instead of pressing you she just nodded, respecting your privacy.

 

“Say, how about I cheer you up some?”

It was crazy how fast the expression on her face changed from worried to mischievous. The smile she was wearing got you a tad bit suspicious, and you narrowed your eyes at her.

“Don’t give me that look! How long has it been since you had any girl time? I know those brothers fill the air with testosterone just with the way they walk, so I can’t imagine you had any at all.”

You tilted your head to the side.

“Girl time?”

 

Charlie nodded brightly, taking hold of your hand and pulling you out of bed. You had to give it to her, she managed to get you up despite the way you struggled. 

“Come on, you can watch Vampire Diaries without having to worry about them giving you looks which I  _ know _ they do. We can eat junk food, talk about our feelings, fantasies about how you can get Brad and I can get Angelina now that they’ve broken up, analyze exactly what it is about Chris Hemsworth’s butt that makes it so cute, it’ll be fun!”   
  


Your cheeks reddened a little at the last suggestion. 

The hacker dragged you to the middle of her living room, letting you crush on the couch as she went on over to the kitchen.

“You want hot chocolate? Ouh! Lookie here, I have Oreos!”

You heard her rummaging through her drawers, the sound of things being thrown around following soon after.

“You really don’t have to do all of this,”

 

You replied quickly, watching her emerge back into the living room barely balancing four different types of cookie boxes, two in her hands, one under her armpit, and one tucked underneath her chin.

She dropped them all on the coffee table in front of you.

“Nonsense! It’s been awhile since I’ve had any girl time either, so really you’re the one doing  _ me  _ a favor here.”

The enthusiastic redhead picked up one of the boxes and started tearing the cardboard open like a child unwrapping their birthday present.

 

She pulled out the aluminium bag that contained a special addition of strawberry milk Oreos and fixed it between her teeth, tilting her head back to tear it.

“There,”

She said, pushing one of the Oreo cookies into your hand. You would have tried to refuse was she not so ridiculously focused on opening up the rest of the boxes. 

“It’s  _ really  _ good. My girlfriend and I consume about two boxes of those in a week.”

You finally gave in and took a bite.

 

“It  _ is  _ good!”

You announced in surprise. It might sound a bit overdramatic, but the fact that your separation from the boys didn’t take over your taste buds like it did with most of your senses already was weirdly comforting.

Charlie flashed you a smile. She dug into one of the bags again.

“Hey, you should meet her sometime. I think you’ll like her.”   
She said absentmindedly, chewing greedily at a half eaten chocolate chip cookie. 

 

“Meet who?”

You asked, debating on wether or not it would be rude to ask for another Oreo. Your eyes scanned the choices splayed out in front of you on the table.

You had to admit, it all looked very appetizing.

“My girlfriend, her name’s Poppy. She’s the main reason why I have so many snacks around. She has a bit of a sweet tooth.”

 

Charlie answered, chuckling lightly. You raised your head up in curiosity.

“When did that happen? Last time we talked you were still obsessing over that character from Lord Of The Rings that Cate Blanchett played and Hermione Granger,”   
The smile that stretched on the hacker’s face as she dragged a chair over in front of you made you lean in until your knees were touching, feeling like you were about to hear a big secret.

“Well, you know how I go to those larping events every once in awhile?”

 

You quickly nodded, wanting to hear the rest of the story.

“It was the empire versus the stormcloaks. We were on different sides and she caught me stealing their plans,”   
Charlie straightened up with a mischievous smirk.

“So she offered me a deal.”

Her eyes weren’t seeing you at this point. They were probably seeing Poppy, and they  _ liked  _ what they saw.

“She would let me go in exchange for a date.”

 

“Smooth.”

You giggled. The redhead only nodded.

“So how long ago was that?”   
Charlie didn’t need even a second to answer that.

“27 days and 5 hours ago.”

You stared at her for a full minute before cracking up.

“Sure, who’s counting?”

 

“Shut up!”

You laughed even more when the girl's cheeks started to redden.

“So I guess Angelina lost the competition huh?”

Charlie’s smile got even bigger.

“Not necessarily. I’m not against polygamy you know.”

__________________________

 

As the day went on Charlie proved to be quite a distraction, and you were immensely grateful to have her near.

She did just about everything to help you forget about the brothers, even if it was just for a short while.

It was now five in the afternoon, and the two of you were on your eighth round of Fuck Marry Kill, already passing around your second box of cookies, when Castiel appeared in the room out of nowhere. The only indication of his arrival was the sound of his invisible wings flapping in the air.

 

“Cas?”

You asked in surprise, looking up to meet his piercing blue eyes. As you were talking you noticed a bunch of crumbs falling down from your cheeks and into your shirt, and you couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed. You were eating like a kid!

The angel didn’t seem to care about that though. Instead his gaze was focused on something else. Charlie.

Said girl turned to you cautiously, giving you a careful look.

 

“(Y\N),”

She started, looking between you and the celestial being.

“There’s something you need to know.”   
You observed Castiel’s stiff form for a minute, taking note of how his eyes seemed to change into a deeper blue.

“Yeah?”

Charlie gave the trenchcoated angel a searching look. Kind of like she was asking him permission to say something.

 

Instead of letting her continue, Castiel sat himself down beside you. He opened and closed his mouth a couple of time.

“I… I’m sorry.”

He finally said, looking at you right in the eye with one of the most sincerely regretful expressions that anyone have ever given you. You were officially confused.

“For what?”

From the corner of your eye you could see Charlie sending silent hand signals to the angel beside you, who seemed to be completely puzzled at what she was trying to convey.

 

Castiel turned his head away from the girl to her dismay.

“A couple of things actually.”

You straightened up in attention.

“Ok,”

Nervously straightening the lapels of his trench coat, the angel convinced himself to move forward with the conversation, as there were an ample amount of topics that demanded attending to.

“They know.”

 

You nodded slowly, trying to buy yourself time to understand what he was referring to. You played with your shirt, brushed crumbs off your pants, moved your hair from shoulder to shoulder. Finally you gave up.

“I’m sorry, who knows what?”

 

“Sam and Dean. They know that you are a shapeshifter.”

________________________________

 

Castiel’s POV

 

(Y\N) stared at me for a while, not opening her mouth even to inhale a bit of air. I wish I wouldn’t have lied to her. The look in her eyes, the gravity of what she just heard seemed to settle over her like a dark cloud.

Charlie inched closer to the girl with a sympathetic frown. I am pretty sure she did so without even noticing it.

 

“They know.”

The fourteen year old repeated. I could see that the facts sunk in deep, drugging her down with them.

She took in a deep breath and tried to nonchalantly wipe away the gathering wetness from her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater. She got frustrated when they kept coming, so she lowered her head to hide them instead. 

Her shoulders were shaking, but I had a feeling it had to do with more than just pain.

All of a sudden she snapped her head up.

 

“Why did you tell them? I already left, why did you have to ruin  **_everything_ ** they felt about me?!”

The intensity her eyes held as they burned with anger almost made me get up to put some distance between us. To make a powerful angel of the lord  _ this  _ uncomfortable..

“(Y\N)!” Charlie shriked. 

The girl only kept glaring at me.

“Your… your  _ hair _ ,”   
My eyes widened as I watched (Y\N)’s hair slowly turn red.

__________________________________

 

The anger was taking control of you. You could barely even hear what Charlie was saying. All you could think of was what Castiel did. 

You have never been so angry in your life. 

Everything turned hot - your stomach, your lungs, your throat. It all burned with an almost… satisfying kind of hatred.

You felt powerful.  _ Very  _ powerful.

Castiel was gonna  _ pay _ .

 

You lashed out at him bringing down hit after hit, biting and scratching, punching and kicking, snarling and growling. The surprised expression on his face when you actually managed to draw out some blood almost made you want to laugh. 

Who did he think he was? He was nothing! No one! He was no one to stand between you and the brothers!

You were strong. You could beat him into submission. Show him just how much of a little worm he actually was. 

There was going to be no more of the helpless little girl who couldn’t do anything by herself.

No one was gonna make you angry and get away with it.

You were gonna  **_kill KILL_ ** **_KILL_ ** -

______________________________________________________________________________

 

You woke up feeling like you were just ran over by a herd of horses. Your head hurt, your was brain banging against your skull, and to top it off you were on the verge of puking all the contents of your stomach out on the floor.

Groaning, you slowly tried to get up, only to realize that you couldn’t move your hands.

_ What the, _

You started panicking, struggling against your restraints with everything you had, but it was all in vain.

 

With terror you realized that you might have been kidnapped again. You couldn’t remember anything past what Castiel had told you.

Your heart started beating like a drum. The kind of drum that was used in those sacrificial rituals right before the victim was murdered. It was so loud in your ears that you didn’t even hear the approaching  footsteps coming your way.

“She’s awake.”

 

Your head snapped up in relief at the sound of Castiel’s voice. He would get you out of there!

“Cas!”

You cried out, wanting to get the hell out of the cuffs you were in. You felt like a caged mouse.

“(Y\N)?”   
You froze. That was Dean’s voice. 

You raised your eyes, throwing them around the room in search of the hunter and discovering a lot of disturbing things about where you were in the process.

A dungeon. You were in a  _ dungeon _ .

 

You could barely breath. This had to be what having a heart attack felt like. You could physically feel your heart moving, as in bumping against your ribs. It was like it wasn’t attached to anything. 

“Hey, It’s ok,”

Dean’s ankeles came into your view as he crouched in front of you.

“Look at me, you’re doing great kiddo.”   
His voice was laced with guilt.

Your heart started calming down a bit after a big hand wiped away some of the sweat that gathered on your forehead.

 

“ _ Sam..? _ ”

You breathed out weakly. 

“I’m here (Y\N), it’s ok.”   
The knowledge that you had both Winchesters by your side lifted some of the pressure away from your constricting lungs.

“Breath for us, ok? You just need to breath,”   
  


So you did. In fact, for the next couple of minutes that’s  _ all  _ that you did. 

Sam kept running his cold fingers over your sweaty forehead, and the sensation was almost blissful. 

When you felt like you could breath again, you asked the two questions you wanted to ask most.

“W-where…. Where am I? What happened?”

You looked between the two of them as they exchanged a quiet silent frown.

“Well, as Charlie told us, you had a bit of a supernatural melt down.”

 

“A what?”   
Whatever it was you had, you only hoped it didn’t give Charlie too much trouble. The girl went out of her way to make you feel better, and you really didn’t want her suffering for that.

Sam looked really uncomfortable providing you with an answer, so like always, Dean volunteered to do it instead.

“Sweetheart.. You attacked Cas..”   
As if on cue you heard the door closing, signaling the angel’s departure.

 

“I.. attacked Cas.. You’re kidding right?”   
Little ole’ you going up against someone as fierce as Castiel?”

But Dean’s expression didn’t change.

“You’re serious?”   
Out of everything you expected to hear, that option was so improbable that you almost wondered if Charlie decided to play a prank on all of you.

 

You listened in for any footsteps coming back from the door. When you couldn’t detect any, you turned to the hunter with guilt.

“Is he okay?”   
You were surprised when Sam let out a hearty chuckle, looking at his brother with an amused smirk.

 

“Yeah. A tiny scratch above his nose.”

_ Oh thank god.  _ You still felt bad though, and Dean seemed to have noticed if the eye rolling meant anything.

“You can kiss the boo boo if you think it’ll make it better, but I think he’ll survive..”   
You glared at his smug expression.

 

The three of you sat there in complete silence for a while, neither of you knowing what to say.

You’ve gotten most of the main subjects out of the way, unknowingly paving the way to the one thing you didn’t know how to talk about. You being a shapeshifter.

You wondered if they still felt responsible for you. Knowing Dean that was probably true.

For some reason that only made you depressed. You didn’t want their kindness if they were about to rip it away from you the second they decided you were fine.

 

“(Y\N)..”

You looked up to Dean’s eyes. They held just as much hurt as yours probably did.

“Whatever it is you aren’t telling us, is it really worth all of this?”   
He gestured between the three of you. You tilted your head in confusion.They already  _ knew  _ what you didn’t tell them. 

“What are you talking about?”   
  


“(Y\N) don’t you think we are  _ way  _ past playing dumb at this stage? This is serious!”   
The anger and the hurt in Sam’s voice made you even more puzzled.

“I’m not playing dumb.”

The younger hunter looked like he wanted to rip something apart. He messed his hair, scratching under his chin in annoyance as his hands clenched and unclenched at his sides.

“Fine. You wanna do it this way - go ahead,”

His glare was full of frustration and disappointment. He got up, walking from one side of the room to the other restlessly. 

 

“You know what?”   
The giant turned in your direction, stopping his movement altogether.

“I think we deserve a little more respect from you.”   
Dean sighed. “Sam,”

“No. I’m serious! Don’t  _ we  _ deserve the same honesty we offer  _ you? _ ”

You didn’t know what to think at this point. You were just lost, and the more you felt that way, the angrier you became.

 

“What the hell are you talking about?! I have nothing left to hide!”   
It seemed that every emotion you expressed today had a mirroring effect on the older Winchester, because his eyes darkened in about a hundred different shades of anger.

“I can’t believe you still won’t tell us! You know, if it were anyone other then you we wouldn’t have even  _ considered  _ letting you stay at the bunker with us. In fact, if it were anyone other then you we would have probably killed you like any other shapeshifter out there!”

 

“Well how about-”

You started yelling back, but then realized something. 

They considered letting you stay? Even after finding out what you were?

Your head was spinning.

“I… you would still… keep me? Even though I’m a monster?”   
Sam’s face contorted at the mention of the word, and Dean looked a little surprised that your tone became so quiet all of a sudden.

 

“(Y\N)... You’re not a monster. If you would just trust us enough to tell us the whole truth, we could get on with making sure of that.”

Both brothers kept their trained eyes on you with hope.

“I’m really  _ not  _ hiding anything. I promise.”   
Dean looked at you skeptically.

“But Cas said,”   
  


“I lied.”

All of your heads snapped in the direction of the door to see the angel leaning against the wall. His head was lowered, and his voice was quiet, but you all heard him clear and sound.

The look of betrayal in Dean’s eyes made Castiel hurry with the explanation.

“You three never talk honestly with each other, no matter how hard you wish that was not true.”

You could see Sam opening his mouth to object, but the angel cut him off.

 

“You two,” He pointed at the brothers. “You think it’s your responsibility to keep (Y\N) away from any hard truths that come with the nature of your job, and now that she became the center of your main case - you don’t know what to do anymore.”   
The younger Winchester closed his mouth, having no cards left to pull.

“And you,” Castiel turned to address you, and you felt yourself unconsciously sinking into the floor with shame. You knew what he was about to say.

 

“You don’t share any of your insecurities with them. Even after all this time, there is still a part of you that believes that they would abandon you.”

The angel took a deep breath.

“I.. don’t like seeing my friends hurt each other like this. I felt that I had to do something, so I told (Y\N) that you two didn’t know that she was a shapeshifter,”

His blue eyes connected with yours.

“And (Y\N).. I told Sam and Dean that you were still hiding something of great importance from them.”

 

Castiel took a hesitant step in the direction of the three of you, his eyes filled with regret and even a bit of fear.

“I am terribly sorry.”

None of you said anything as you tried to wrap your heads around everything he just told you, and the silence stretched on for what seemed like forever.

Finally, Dean let out a tired sigh.

 

“Damn it, Cas.”   
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter went a completely different way than what I planned before.  
> What to you guys think?


	23. We’ll figure this out. Together.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally! We're getting to the action part of this mess!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this took me a lot longer to write than I expected it to.. Sorry for the loooong wait guys.  
> You'll see a lot of (Y\F\N) in this chapter, but if feels a little weird just put in a different name. Like MayoLover13 (If you get this reference I will forever love you)

“So.. what now?”   
Instead of looking at you as you spoke, both Sam and Dean fixed their eyes on the angel still standing awkwardly near the door.

The few steps he took in your direction earlier when he addressed you were almost non-existent. In fact, it almost appeared as if he reverted back a little.

Unfortunately, you knew all too well how Castiel was feeling at the moment. 

  


No one wanted to get on a Winchester’s bad side. Most monsters would pack up and flee just after hearing that they were in town. 

One could argue it was even worse for the few ones that the brothers actually chose to never lay a hand on, because then the punishment would only depend on their creativity and their mood, and everyone knew that the two famous hunters weren’t a very cheery bunch.

That being said, the disappointed look they were currently giving the angel was making him rethink his actions like no beating would.

  


“Hey, seriously guys, what now?”

You spoke a little louder this time, hoping to divert their attention.

Sam’s eyes never left Castiel, but he did decide that you were, in fact, right. You needed to discuss your next move.

“Well, we need to find a way to halt your transformation. Same way that witch did. We need to find the same spell.”   
Dean nodded in agreement.

  


“It won’t be that simple.”   
Castiel announced gravely. You could see he was dreading the brothers response, so instead of leaving them a window to lay into him, the angel hurried to elaborate.

“The spell has to be cast by the same witch.”   
Dean’s expression barely changed. He was weirdly calm. Confident.

“So? We hunt her down and make her do it. Won’t be my first time getting down and dirty with a witch.”   
  


Sam rolled his eyes at his brother’s choice of words, but it seemed he was in full agreement about the whole thing. 

You felt bad for whoever that witch would turn out to be.

“As I said, it’s not going to be that simple.”

You observed the angel as he fixed Dean with a serious stare.

“You know her.”

  


“I do?”

Sam looked at his winged friend with curiosity. That could only mean this was gonna be extremely easy to get her to play along, or extremely hard, and he had a feeling it was the latter. A witch they knew..

“It’s Rowena, isn’t it?”

Dean’s eyes snapped in the younger hunter’s direction. He was quickly coming to the same conclusion himself, but hearing someone else suggest it out loud made things much more real.

“Who’s Rowena?”

You asked, your eyes demanding an answer from the older Winchester. You were going to force your way in this time. This whole thing revolves around  _ you  _ after all.

  


The room turned quiet as the hunter battled with himself.

“Dean, tell her. This is not any regular case. She’s fully involved in this whether you want her to be or not.”

You beamed at Castiel, giving him a wide smile for coming to your rescue. The angel only nodded.

Dean sighed. “Fine.” He grumbled. He really didn’t like this.

“Rowena is someone we’ve ran into over the years. She’s not a very nice person.”

Sam huffed at the way his brother phrased his answer. He was acting like he was talking to a five year old.

  


Realizing he was not going to get a proper explanation from the overprotective hunter, Castiel decided to step in.

The angel took a few steps forwards and sat down in front of you with his legs spread in front of him, looking like a stuffed teddy bear. It was a really weird position for a so called angel of the lord to take, and you noticed Dean rolling his eyes.

  


“She’s a powerful witch, and she won't answer to just anyone. It’ll be difficult to convince her to help.”

He finished. You took everything in with a worried yet hopeful glance at the brothers. You didn’t like the sound of that.

“It’ll be okay.”

Dean’s tone was hard. Set in stone. His eyes however softened the more they lingered on your scared face.

“I’ll beat the damn spell out of her if I have to.”

  


Castiel and the younger Winchester exchanged a worried look, but decided not to say anything.

“Well… I guess we better get on with it then.”

Sam concluded.

  


The three of you observed as Dean got to work. The summoning ritual didn't seem to give him trouble at all. To you however, it looked like some kind of an absurd cooking show. You couldn't keep track of the ingredients being thrown into the big wooden bowl the hunter set in the middle of the room, but it sure didn't look like any regular soup.

  


After adding the last ingredient, the man took a step or two away from the weird mix. You winced when he pulled out a pocket knife and proceeded to cut the middle of his palm with it like it didn't hurt him any more than a mosquito bite.

He started to draw some symbols on the floor, and you really didn't like the sight of blood trickling down his arm. 

You didn't care how high his tolerance for pain was, that must have hurt.

You were snapped out of your thoughts when dark purple smoke surrounded the bowl.

  


“ _ Winchesters.  _ I should’ve guessed.”

A thick, scottish accent was not at all what you expected as the witch stepped out of the smoke.

She was wearing an elegant navy blue dress that covered her all the way down to her high heeled feet, and her wavy red hair was thrown over her shoulder, kept in place by a pointed polished nail.

‘Rowena’ observed the room with her nose held in the air, and despite her height, managed to somehow look down on the tall built brothers.

  


Silence filled the room. You could see Dean was struggling to not straight up attack the woman. Sam on his end was probably trying to conclude the easiest way to convince her to help. Unlike his brother, the younger man didn’t exactly fancy beating the metal until it bent into wanted shape. He preferred giving it time, melting it with his charming dimpled smile, though both of you realized that his way probably won't work this time. 

“Well? Talk. I haven’t got all day.”

  


Castiel stepped forward, seeing as both Winchesters were unsure of how to start. Rowena’s eyes fitted around the angel, her thin eyebrows raising in annoyed, sarcastic surprise.

“Goodness me! You’ve got a party going on! How about we hurry this up so I can leave you to enjoy yourselves? I’m not exactly a party gal these days.”

Dean rolled his eyes.

“Fine. Let’s get to the point then.”

The witch turned her head in the older Winchester's direction.

“We need your help.”

  


“No.”

Your heart sank. It was this simple for her. She didn’t even consider it!

You looked at Dean helplessly, your eyes nearly watering. The hunter sent you a reassuring look, mouthing ‘Trust me.’ and proceeding to glare daggers at the strong willed witch.

“Well actually, it’s not up for discussion.”

Rowena raised an eyebrow, not at all fazed by Dean’s declaration. If anything, she seemed to be getting more and more annoyed.

  


With a swish of a finger and a murmur of two strange words, Sam was pressed into the wall, the impact knocking the breath out of his lungs.

“You should show some respect. I’m sure I can find use for a moose’s heart, or guts . I’m almost outta rabbits ya know.”

Your breath hitched, knowing that you were the reason the younger Winchester now sported an array of new bruises.

“Don’t hurt him!”

  


All eyes in the room turned to you, and you almost regretted saying anything. You couldn’t watch them getting hurt though, so while your instinct was to shut your mouth and will yourself to somehow turn invisible, you made sure to hold your head high. If Rowena managed to look down on the brothers while being significantly shorter than them, then surely you could do the same. Even if you were on the floor. Chained to the wall. Completely immobilized. 

Yeah ok, you might have a bit of a problem here.

  


“Where do I know’ that pathetic little face from?”

The witch wondered out loud. You tensed up under her scrutiny.

“Seven years ago. Olean, Missouri.”

Castiel stated. Rowena’s eyes seemed to widen in shock, before narrowing back again with absolute hatred. Now you  _ really  _ wanted to become invisible.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”   
  


Her long fingers almost seemed like a lion’s claws as she took a step in your direction, her eyes burning as red as her hair.

Dean quickly took a protective stance in front of you.

“Move. You’ve got no idea how long I’ve been trying to track this little menace down.”

You were shivering all over, Rowena’s words jamming themselves down your throat. What on earth did you do to upset her?

  


“Not a chance.”

The witch let out an almost inhuman snarl, swishing her finger again in the air. You swallowed down a scream when your protector hit the opposite wall with a loud thud. 

Heels clicking as they connected with the floor, the powerful magic user took another intimidating step closer in your direction. 

You struggled with your bindings as hard as you could, ignoring what must have been blood that trickled down your wrist when the cold metal cut your skin.

  


“You will not lay a hand on her.”

You let out a huge sigh of relief when Castiel took Dean’s place. The angel covered your entire form with his, making Sam, who was still pressed against the wall look just a little less distraught.

When Rowena tried to swish her finger again only to realize the spell didn’t work on him, she huffed in annoyance.

“Do ya’ know what I’ve had to  _ endure  _ because of her?”   
She spat, apparently moving on to the next best thing.

  


“An alpha. An alpha and  _ all _ of his shapeshifting sons and daughters out to get me. And why? All because I did a favor for the  _ wrong  _ stinking  _ woman _ .”

You cringed, starting to connect the dots in your head as the witch kept fuming.

She took a step closer to Castiel, leaving only inches between them.

“I have been hunted. Forced to always keep moving. To always cover my tracks like any regular ol’ criminal. I have been  _ humiliated. _ ”

Rowena was basically shaking at this point, her chest heaving and her shoulders jumping up and down.

  


“We want exactly what  _ you  _ want.”

Your head snapped in the direction of Dean’s voice. The hunter was breathing hard, coarse coughs spilling out of his throat as he tried to keep his voice stable.

The witch only let out a crazed prejudicial laugh.

“Really? Cos’ what I want is her  _ head  _ on my  _ shelf _ .”

Without even noticing it you were struggling again, your heart sinking to your stomach.

  


“We’ve got something better.”

You knew that they had a plan, but it seems that they discussed it before you woke up. Right now you were as curious as Rowena.

“You can have (Y\F\N)’s head.”

The witch seemed just a tad bit interested now. A little less angry too.

Focusing all of her attention on Dean this time, the elegantly dressed woman turned her head away from Castiel.

  


“I suppose’ you’ve got an idea on how to take down one of the most powerful monsters in existence then?”   
Dean Chuckled darkly, and you could feel your heart twitching uncomfortably.

“We do.”

_____________________________

  


“Telepathic communication.”

Rowena looked at Dean like he just grew two new heads. She looked around the room, checking if Sam and Castiel were in on this madness, but the two of them simply nodded, both looking like it was the most obvious solution to the problem.

“Telepathic communication.”   
The witch stated slowly, rolling her tongue around the words as if she was trying to verify their reliability.

  


“Alphas can contact their children telepathically. It’s how they know their way around the checkerboard. Their way of knowing if they have enough soldiers. If they are in need of… recruitments.”

As he was saying this, the hunter sent you an apologetic look, which only served to confuse you more than you already were.

“You’re not suggesting…?”   
  


A smug smile crawled its way up the witch’s lips. She crossed her hands in front of her chest, the long velvety sleeves of her dress falling almost sharply at the sides.

“Ya’ know, if we let her transformation progress to the level where she can telepathically contact her father, I might not be able to bring her back to her former self.”

  


That got you whirling your head from Sam to Dean, feeling panic rise inside your stomach. It was quickly making it’s way up to your throat and nearly cutting off your air supply. 

Instead of saying anything of reassurance, the older hunter simply kept staring at the witch, no regret passing behind his determined green orbs.

“And what will you do with her in the very likely case that I will not succeed?”

Your breath hitched.

  


“We are  _ not  _  planning to abandon her.”

Dean was not looking at Rowena at this point. His eyes were focused solely on you, and you felt yourself sagging with relief so great that you almost felt like an enormous boulder was lifted off of your heart.

“Well, what d’you know.. The Winchesters home for peculiar children.”

Dean rolled his eyes.

  


“Well, let’s get to the fun part then,”

Rowena started, clawing and un-clawing her long fingers is anticipation. She looked positively excited.

Castiel, who was being quiet up until now, decided to renew his presence in the room. 

“We need you to do more than just revert (Y\N) back. We need you to trap him. Long enough so we can kill him.”

  


You shuddered. Kill him. Kill your father.

Granted, you’ve never had any fond memories of him. In fact, most of the memories you had left had turned into your biggest nightmares over the years, but… killing him. That was going to be kind of hard to make peace with.

“I can do that. But not for long.”

You were surprised at how cooperative the witch was all of a sudden.

  


“We won’t need long.”

Rowena smirked, swishing her fingers in the air again. Dean and Sam both grunted loudly as they got up, free of the spell she had cast on them.

Castiel walked over to help the shorter hunter up, getting a little irritated when all he got as a thank you were a few curses and a couple of ‘I’m fine’s.

“Sam, get that iridium knife, would you?”

The younger Winchester only sighed.

  


“Let’s get this over with.”   
______________________________________________________________________________

  


When everyone decided to set the plan into action, you expected there to be, well…  _ action _ .

Instead, all you’ve been doing for the past hour and a half was wait.

No one knew exactly how much time it was going to take for you to fully transform, and your body provided no indication that it was going through any kind of change either.

You were all just awkwardly passing the time at this point.

  


Castiel had taken a liking to a metallic cabinet at the farther side of the room, not really bothered by the fact that it was home to quite a few torture instruments. He seemed almost calm with his trench coat flung over the back of it and his head resting in the palms of his hands, looking eerily like the angel that was painted on the wall at the entrance of the private school you used to go to.

Rowena was leaning up against the wall with her hands crossed in front of her chest, looking like she would pass out from boredom any minute now, and Sam and Dean were both sitting on the floor in front of you. Neither of you were talking.

It all felt like a really poor remake of Breakfast Club.

  


“I sense a high level of uncomfortableness in this room.”   
The older hunter rolled his eyes. You’d think that by now the man would be used to his best friend’s quirkiness.  Though maybe the looks he was giving Castiel so often was just how the two communicated.

Sam sighed, scratching above his nose with his huge hand.

“Any idea how long this is gonna take?”   
  


He directed the question mostly towards Rowena, but when the witch made a snark comment comparing the intelligence of an elephant to that of a moose, the long haired giant tried pretending that he was talking to Castiel instead.

He looked a little embarrassed, but Sam always  _ was  _ good at hiding his feelings. 

You could tell though. The way his eyebrows would twist just a tiny bit upwards and give a small twitch as he would try to straighten them back up, feigning ignorance. 

The way he would click his tongue to distract himself from thinking too hard. The slight redness that covered the tips of his ears would always give him away.

  


“The hell-”

Dean’s surprised voice snapped you out of your thoughts.

“What?”

The hunter scrunched up his nose, his mouth staying agape in his shock.

Wondering what his brother was referring too, Sam fixed his eyes on your confused face too. When his eyes widened you really started to get curious.

“Well that’s just creepy. It’s like Dora had a sex change that failed really,  _ really  _ badly.”   
At the other end of the room, Rowena straightened up in attention, followed closely by the angel who instantly made his way over to the brothers.

  


Dean let out a disturbed laugh.

“Sweetie, you should probably pick a gender. I mean I guess we could call you Samantha for a while, but it’s already confusing enough that little bro over here haven’t heard of a hair cut.”

Sam glared at his brother.

“Finally! I was starting to think the spell I cast on her all those years ago was too powerful. I always did wonder if I was born  _ too  _ talented..”   
  


Realizing why suddenly all of the attention was on you, you brought your hand up in front of your eyes, shocked to see Sam’s rough, calloused fingers popping up underneath of the flowery print of your shirt.

Seeing your curious expression, castiel flicked his fingers once, making a little mirror appear in the air in front of you.

When you saw your reflection you cringed in disgust. 

Let’s just say that your shapeshifting skills weren’t as good as you’d hope. A beginner at Photoshop could do a better job at morphing your faces together.

  


“Well, what are you waiting for? Give your old man a call.”

Both brothers glared at the witch, not liking the way she phrased the sentence any more than you did.

“Umm.. How?”

You had no idea how the whole telepathic connection worked. Hell, you haven’t even managed to fully shapeshift yet.

“Also, what am I supposed to say?”

  


Rowena pushed Sam and Dean out of her way so she could address you directly.

“It doesn’t matter what you say. The very fact that you had completed your transformation means that he doesn’t need to keep looking for a counter spell anymore. There’s nothing in his way anymore.”

Dean looked at you at that, his face full of concern.

“You know we will protect you, right? You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

To say you weren’t nervous would be a lie, but you weren’t  _ scared _ . You trusted the brothers with your life.

You let a little smile climb to your lips.

“I know.”

______________________________________________________________________________

  


You stood outside the bunker alone, feeling a little fidgety even though you knew that the two hunters were only a few meters away, hidden behind an invisible barrier that Rowena had cast along with your favorite angel. 

It’s been already ten entire minutes of rambling on in your head hoping that your biological father had his ears on, and you were starting to wonder if it was ever going to work, when all of a sudden you heard a low voice coming from behind your back.

  


Your breath hitched in your throat, and you had to remind yourself to turn around, even though you really didn’t want to. That man you were going to have to face was someone you’ve been trying to erase from your mind completely ever since the night your mother took you and ran.

You never wanted to see him again.

  


“Hello, daughter dearest.”

His voice was impersonal. Like you were just a stranger he bumped into on the street.

It seemed that nothing had changed - he was still malevolent as a person - a monster, could get.

“Who knew that all I needed to do was simply wait? Could have spared me a lot of time and money. Scientists are open minded people, yes, but to convince one to experiment on  _ human  _ subjects…”

  


He trailed off. Each word reverberated, echoed in the space surrounding him, defying all laws of physics being that you were standing outside and his voice had no walls to collide with. 

Maybe it was that way because you felt them colliding with  _ you _ . Physically touching you. Burning you.

You didn’t want to think about what he said, but you found yourself doing exactly that.

“Why?”   
  


The question slipped past your lips unhindered. Your part was to distract him long enough for the others to strike, but as it was right now you realized that more than anything you just wanted answers.

“Why  _ what _ ?”   
(Y\F\N)’s expression didn’t change even though you felt like anyone asking a question, as simple as it may be, had to have more emotion in his features than a stone statue.

  


“Why the experiments? I don’t get it..”

The monster in front of you sighed. He looked completely calm and relaxed which only served to make you more scared, and, you had to admit - more curious.

“Well it’s hardly worthy of discussion now, is it?”

His shoe hit the pavement and before you knew it he was only a few centimeters away from you.

_ “I’ve got what I’ve wanted all along.” _

  


He drew his hand forward at the exact same second that Castiel chose to appear, putting himself as a barrier between the two of you.

The alpha seemed a little surprised, but only for a few seconds. His expression turned incredulous after that.

“You really think you can stop me?”

He asked. His words were fraught with disbelief, as if even the mere thought of it was ridiculous.

  


“My kind have roamed the earth since there was ground to step on, as yours did with the birth of the first cloud. Enlighten me. What can you possibly do to me?”

The angel stayed quiet, not moved by your ‘father’s baiting words. 

You, on the other hand, were getting a little panicked.

“Oh it’s really not him you should worry about.”

You cringed at the horrid scream that vibrated through the air as Sam revealed himself behind the shifter, knife already deep into his back.

  


You fixed the palms of your hands over your ears as the creature in front of you twisted in pain. Dean was instantly at your side, pushing you behind his back.

(Y\F\N) fell to his knees, hitting the ground with a loud thud.

Sam was already smiling victoriously.

_ You’ll pay for that. _

The threat echoed inside of your head, and a feeling of dread filled your stomach.

  


“ **No** !”

Before you even thought about it you ran past Dean towards the younger of the Winchesters, hitting his body in full force just as (Y\F\N) slashed a hand in the air in his direction. You both hit the ground heavily with Sam softening the blow as he sat shocked beneath you.

“(Y\N),”

He muttered under his breath.

You sighed in relief, reassuring yourself that he was unharmed. Your right arm, the one you used to protect Sam with was sporting a new cut, but thankfully it wasn’t anything too serious or too deep.

  


“Sam! Get her inside the bunker,”   
Dean growled, catching the knife mid air after his brother snapped out of his trance and threw it in his direction.

You looked on with wide eyes as the older hunter and the angel teamed up, working with complete coordination with one another, as if it was a dance routine they had practiced months prior.

  


Dean knocked the monster into the ground, stabbing him in his stomach and then holding his head in a choking hold as Castiel cuffed thick, iridium handcuffs around his wrists.

Rowena appeared right after, casting some kind of a paralyzing spell over him.

The three circled their now immobilized pray.

  


Sam did as he was told. All of a sudden you had two big arms wrapped underneath yours, and you were dragged in the direction of the bunker. You managed to shapeshift back into your original form so he wouldn’t have to carry someone as heavy as himself.

You were just grateful you were starting to get the hang of your new abilities.

From the corner of your eye you could see Dean’s hand hovering next to (Y\F\N)’s neck, but you were pulled away too quickly to see anything else. 

All you heard was a scream.

______________________________________________________________________________

  


“Is it over?”   
You were on your feet and running as soon as you heard the bunker’s door opening, revealing a tired looking Dean.

“He’s gone. You’re safe.”   
He promised, making his way over to the table where Sam was currently sitting at, ruffling your hair as he passed by you.

“Where’s Cas?”   
The angel was nowhere to be found, and you wanted to at least thank him.

  


“He was needed elsewhere.”

He chuckled at the disappointed expression you couldn’t hide.

“And Rowena?”   
Obviously, you didn’t exactly want to see her for the same reason you wanted to see the angel, but she was the only chance you had of turning human again.

Dean looked a little nervous.

  


“She.. said that your transformation is complete. You’re too far gone.”

You lowered your head, looking at the floor beneath you.

“Oh.”

That was all that you managed.

“It’ll be ok. I promise.”   
Sam announced, a gentle smile gracing his lips. He ran his fingers through your hair, trying to bring you a little comfort.

  


“We’ll figure this out. Together.”

______________________________________________________________________________

  


Outside of a small coffee shop at Kansas Wichita, a crowd of cops were gathering around a fresh crime scene. Their third one this month. It was a mystery that they couldn’t explain.

“I don’t understand. What could have possibly done this?”

One of the officers asked, a middle aged man with frown lines graven in his skin like a drawing in the wet sand.

“Beats me,”

The two co workers turned to see a short woman dressed in a dark blue suit holding the police tape above her head.

  


“Agent Rooney, FBI.”

  
  
  


__   
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you think?   
> I was super busy lately so I've been writing this over a long period of time. I hope it all fits together without looking too much like seperate parts.  
> I would really love some feedback :)  
> Next chapter I'm going to introduce a new character who has a very interesting part to play in one of the brothers life, so stay tuned.  
> Also, the whole deal with the father isn't completely over yet, but I'm probably not gonna bring it up in the next couple of chapters, since I feel like writing comedy more. You'll see..


	24. His name is Buddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki asks (Y\N) for a favor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow... I wrote this entire chapter today. I feel pretty accomplished!  
> Man.. I really WAS itching to write some comedy.

“Yuuki… I don’t know.”

The japanese youth had found a clear passage into your heart from the first time you set your eyes on him, but what he was asking of you now was just...

You’d get into a _whole_ lot of trouble with the brothers.

“Please? It’s just for two days,”  
You always wondered why manga characters were always drawn with big eyes while most of them were of asian nativity, but now it was basically (well, literally) staring you in the face, It didn’t matter one bit that your best friend’s eyes were naturally thin because right now they were anything _but_ that.

 

You looked at the little white thing huddled behind him, feeling your motherly instincts kick in so hard that you were half sure that if you tried producing milk right now it would actually work.

“I..I..”  
You didn’t know what to say. Sam might be ok with it, but Dean would surely not.

“He’s a good boy, I promise!”

‘Buddy’s little had popped up underneath Yuuki’s loving hand, and his adorable face, well - it sealed the deal.

 

He was a mixed breed - a labrador and a boxer. A boxador, if you will, and a pup at that.

His eyes were a unique hue of grey with a tint of green, and circled around them was a black line that almost looked as if someone had generously applied eyeliner there.

The button of his nose was brown, jutting up in the air adorably. It was pointed and a little long.

What probably did it for you the most though was the way he was sitting. He looked like he didn’t quite master it yet, and his little paws kept sliding on the floor as he tried to keep them in place.

 

Your heart melted. That was it. You were completely in love.

“Fine..”  
Your friend gave a little jump in the air, before crushing you in a tight hug.

“Oh thank you! Thank you!”

You only nodded. Not like you could refuse anyways. No one could say no to a face as adorable as that.

All of a sudden a little paw landed on your hip. As the two of you pulled apart Yuuki let out a little giggle.

 

“Yeah… he gets jealous sometimes.”  
______________________________________________________________________________

 

The way home was a blur. You didn’t really take in the trees you passed by, the houses, the people that probably walked alongside you on the sidway.

Your attention was focused entirely on the little pup walking energetically in front of you.

Man.. Dean was gonna _kill_ you.

Two days. Only two days. He’ll deal, you convinced yourself. But will you?

You already started to feel attached to him.

You felt a smile climbing unto your lips when Buddy started to chase after a butterfly, his eyes lighting up like two small suns. The way he was jumping around, tail swishing in the air, reminded you of a scene out of a Disney movie.

When you stood in front of the big metal door of the bunker, clutching at the little supply bag that Yuuki entrusted you with, you couldn’t help but start to feel more and more nervous.

You closed your eyes, pleading to god that it would be Sam to greet you first, and not his stubborn older brother.

 

You slowly opened the door, ushering the little pup inside, being especially quiet even though you knew you wouldn’t be able to hide him for long.

“(Y\N)?”  
You tensed up. Sam’s voice was echoing from upstairs. It was cheerful as usual, and despite everything else you managed to calm down a bit.

“Yeah I’m back!”

You yelled back.

 

Now that the danger of being kidnapped, beaten or killed was behind you (you hoped) the brothers had allowed you to take the bus back from school. They still insisted on driving you there in the morning, but it was a huge improvement for you. You had their trust, and in return - they gave you your freedom.

The leash in your hand gave a little tag, and you glanced down to see Buddy exploring the new environment as far as he could go with the rope keeping him back and then some.

His little nose made cute sniffing noises as he scoured the floor with his head almost flat against it.

 

“Dean’s making lunch. Could you go make sure he didn’t forget about the salad?”  
Typical. You would have laughed had it not been for the situation.

“Uhh, I need to go to the bathroom, can you go instead?”

It took the man upstairs maybe two seconds to reply.

“No. I’m working right now. Just do it after you’re done.”  
Well, _shit_.

Maybe you could just take him to Sam first. He could have an idea on what to do with his brother.

 

_“Come on buddy,”_

You whispered to the puppy at your feet.

_“Shit!”_ you cursed quietly when you noticed (a little too late, unfortunately) that he took a liking to one of Dean’s boots, and was now chewing at it happily.

_“Buddy no!”_

You scolded, rescuing the already ruined boot from his surprisingly sharp teeth. You quickly picked up it’s pair in case he decided to desecrate it too and cringed internally when you realized it was made of leather and probably pretty expensive.

 

The pup seemed completely unfazed. You cursed again when you noticed him making his way to a book that had fallen from the war table, and you quickly sprinted to it, picking it up and out of harm’s way.

To your misery though, his tail that was still waving vigorously in the air knocked over the cereal bowl you forgot to put away that morning.

You dove in before it hit the floor, catching it right at the last second. You sighed in relief, feeling quite proud with yourself at the moment.

 

“Ahm Ahm.”

You froze. That.... was definetly Dean.

You slowly looked up to see the hunter’s big form towering over you threateningly.

“Uhh… I can explain!”  
You promised, grimacing when your voice came out a mix between a shriek and a stutter.

Dean only clicked his tongue impatiently. As you were thinking of what to say you spotted Buddy trailing behind him. He sniffed around curiously, and then, to your absolute horror -

He lifted his leg.

 

“Dean!”  
You warned, but it was too late. All you could do was watch as his blue jeans gradually turned darker. Dean’s expression was gradually changing too. From annoyance, to realization, to something you could only describe as an on-the-verge-of-puking kind of disgust.

“Buddy!”

You scolded again, jumping up to pull the little pup into your arms. You stood up, holding him to your chest and admittedly far away from the angry hunter.

 

“You better give me that explanation you were talking about. Now.”

The hunter growled. You nodded quickly, taking the supply bag from under your armpit as you worded out the answer carefully.

“He’s Yuuki’s. He won tickets to a gaming convention at Michigan and he’s flying out today. His parents are barely ever home and he had no one else to ask, so I _had_ to say yes! And he’ll be back in only two days, so you really don’t need to worry!”  
Your hands were frantically looking for the baby wipes that your friend mentioned he packed.

 

You unconsciously braced yourself for a long and harsh scolding, but instead your ears were met with silence. Then you heard a deep sigh.

“Fine. But he’s _your_ responsibility. You clean after him. You feed him. You take him on walks. _Clear?_ ”  
You stared at the hunter in shock. You worried yourself that much over _nothing?_

“Y-yes.”

Before you could thank him though, the man quickly walked away, no doubt to change out of his dirty jeans. He strutted away angrily, his shoulders pulled up to his neck, muscles tense and his back rigid.

In the meantime Buddy was getting bored, so with a thrust that almost knocked you over he jumped back onto the floor.

 

“(Y\N) did you check on Dean?”

Sam’s nearing voice snapped you out of your trance.

“You would think that a man nearing his forties would know how to cut vegetables by now, but _no,_ just hamburgers and pi- **What the** **_hell?!_ ** ”

Buddy’s little head shot up at the new figure that emerged from the stairs, before he took off running with renewed excitement.

 

As soon as he was close enough to the hunter (pulling you helplessly after him in the progress), he immediately jumped: legs forward, nose in the air, paws vibrating with joy on top of Sam’s ankles.

He didn’t even reach his thighs, but you had an inkling that it had little to do with the fact that he was three months old.

You chuckled nervously as Buddy decided to award Sam with a long, _wet_ lick on the hand that came down to peel him away at first, but ended up ruffling his short fur instead.

 

“Two days and then he’s gone. Promise.”

You expected some form of a fight, if even small, but instead the man’s entire face softened as he cupped the pup’s head in his big hands. He looked at him like he was the most precious thing in the world. Sam was completely and utterly infatuated with him - you could almost imagine pink little hearts twirling around in his eyes.

“What’s your name little one?”

 

The question was asked so tenderly and so gently that you almost had the urge to cry. You giggled, liking this new side of Sam.

“His name is Buddy.”

You answered, observing the way said pup rubbed into the hunter’s hand. All of a sudden Sam turned his head in your direction. He looked absolutely crushed.

“Only _two_ days?”

He puppy-eyed you, which considering the situation was pretty damn funny.

 

“Lunch’s ready!”

Dean called out from the kitchen. To anyone else it probably would have been hard to pick up on, but his tone was definitely filled with irritation, a sprinkle of sarcasm, and maybe a dash of anger too.

You didn’t want to give him a chance to cook up a revenge plot, as those were some deadly ingredients he had at his disposal, so you quickly leaned down to unattatch the leash from Buddy’s collar and then moved on to push Sam in the direction of his brother’s voice.

The little pup seemed thrilled with his newfound freedom and immediately proceeded to explore the rest of the room, although, you noticed, he still stayed close to either you or Sam in fear of getting separated.

______________

 

After sitting down for lunch (and having to deal with Dean’s constant complaints that Buddy was after his precious homemade hamburger) you sat down to think about the rest of your day with the little puppy nestled in your lap, fast asleep.

Dean’s birthday was getting closer and closer, and you wanted to get him something special.

You heard him talk about a vintage pocket knife from the victorian era that he just had to have in his collection. Only problem was, you looked it up online - and the damn thing was pretty damn _expensive_.

 

You weren’t gonna give up though. Not that fast. You did your math. If you managed to work in the evenings for a full month you could get enough money. You already informed Sam when you first came up with the idea, as without him backing you up his brother would get suspicious in no time.

He was pretty reluctant to help you at first, claiming that it’ll be too tough to juggle with your schoolwork, not to mention the fact that nobody hired 14 year olds, but in the end he called up a friend for a favor.

 

His friend - Elana was her name, was willing to give you a job as a cashier at her store, working side by side with another girl.

Today was your first time on the job. Today in one hour, 26 minutes and 16 seconds. As you soon found out, waiting was not something you especially liked. You couldn’t look away from your watch. You were _so_ nervous.

Buddy let out a loud sneeze all of a sudden, snapping himself, and you completely awake and out of your troubling thoughts.

 

He looked up at you with bewildered eyes, as if you were the one responsible for his shock.

“Silly pup,”  
You muttered, brushing your fingers through his fur and picking up his adorable ears in the progress. They were velvety soft and smooth to the touch, and you indulged yourself in rubbing your cheek against them.

Eventually though, he got annoyed and jumped off the sofa to go look for Dean. For some reason he had taken quite a liking to the grumpy hunter, much to his dismay.

 

_You can do this._ You told yourself.

_For Dean_.

______________

 

And so it was for Dean that you were desperately trying to grasp the way that stupid cash register was supposed to work for the last four long hours. It was for Dean that you were struggling to carry the new merchandise that was just delivered to the store. It was for Dean that you were trying to force the old pricing thingy to spit out more of those white stickers that for some reason always seemed to come out in pairs, and it was for Dean that you had to deal with three bitter old hags that insisted that you keep opening seven different boxes of alarm clocks, none of which they bought in the end anyway.

Needless to say - you didn’t exactly like the job.

 

What you hated the most though, was the fact that you needed to recommend people stuff that you had never seen or used before. You had to somehow come up with pros for stuff you would probably never buy for yourself.

It was making you feel guilty and antsy.

 

When your shift was over you were absolutely exhausted, your feet were hurting, your eyes were almost closing and the sight of the impala rolling down the street with Sam in the front seat was pure, undiluted relief.

“So, how was your first shift?”

The younger Winchester asked, a wide smile plastered on his lips.

Without answering you simply crushed into the back seat, threw your hand over your forehead and shut your eyes.

 

“That bad huh?”

You only nodded, yawning loudly with your mind set on napping on the way back home, but it seemed the universe had a different plan for you, because all of a sudden a big, wet tongue slid down your cheek.

You opened your eyes back up to find Buddy perched up against the back of the middle seat, his mouth open in what you could only come to a conclusion was a smile.

He kept licking you excitedly, and you brought your hand down to mess with his ears, before reaching beneath his head to hold it in place as you planted a long and passionate kiss there.

 

“He missed you.”  
Sam commented, chuckling as he watched you spit out a few white hairs that stuck to your lips from the rearview mirror.

“I missed him too.”

You finally replied, managing to smile a little.

“You have no idea what you missed!”

You drifted off to the story of how Buddy liked Dean so much that he gave him his favorite, saliva covered toy. Your dreams consisted pretty much of all the reactions the older Winchester could possibly have when faced with a disgusting, thoroughly chewed plastic bone thrown in his lap.

 

______________________________________________________________________________

 

You woke up in your bed, jumping up with surprise. _When did you get home?_

You slowly rose up, being careful not to accidentally step on the slumbering puppy curled up in the fuzzy blankets that Sam set up for him as a makeshift bed.

You glanced at the clock sitting on your nightstand.

It was 6:12 in the morning. The younger hunter probably didn’t want to wake you so he settled for picking and carrying you to bed instead. It warmed your heart and your cheeks both.

 

You wiped at your eyes and yawned.

Quietly getting out of your room, you tottered over to the kitchen feeling a little hungry, only to have a now wide awake puppy sprinting to your side. His left ear twitched cutely and his nose was held high up in attention.

_“Alright, you can come too.”_

You mumbled tiredly.

The two of you walked forward, both with the same target in mind. Food.

 

“You sure you don’t want to go back to sleep? You still have an hour until you need to get ready you know..”

You looked up to see Sam leaning against the kitchen counter next to an already running coffee machine.

You shrugged. “I slept enough.”

Taking a seat at the table, you reached for a plate of doughnuts that were already on it.

You took a big bite of the pastry, moaning in bliss as the sweet, chocolate covered piece of heaven was absorbed into your taste buds.

 

Sam raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything. You wouldn’t care if he _did_. You were so focused on the delicious treat in your hands that nothing could interrupt your deep state of trance.

Well, nothing but a very loud, very desperate whine coming from a spot next to your feet.

A little paw settled utop your hip, and you were met with big, begging eyes.

The hunter let out an amused laugh as he took his own sit in front of you.

“I think he wants some too.”

He stated the obvious.

 

You sighed, getting up to snatch the supply bag you left on the counter. You rummaged around until you found the bag of dog food you were looking for, and then tugged two small plastic bowls with the words ‘Water’ and ‘Food’ printed on them out as well.

You placed them down on the floor.

“So.. you wanna talk about yesterday?”  
Sam asked as you sleepily struggled with the little clip holding the bag close.

To be honest, you did want to talk. You wanted to let out some of that pent up frustration.

 

“Yes.”

You answered, stopping with the bag held mid air over the first bowl.

The gentle giant smiled in encouragement, and that was all you needed to start ranting.

“They expect me to talk about every item like it’s the most amazing thing in the world! How can I lie to someone when I know how bad it actually is?"

You started, eager to get some of the guilt off of your chest.

“How am I supposed to find pros for something like an air freshener that’s been sitting on the shelf probably since the shop opened? It probably smells like dust and really strong old lady perfume by now!”

 

Sam looked at you with an expression you couldn’t really decipher, but something about it made you wanna tell him even more.

“And, and you know how hard it is to sell any type of card game these days? Nobody buys that stuff anymore, so I just found myself going on and on about how it’s perfect for a picnic, or for family quality time, and that it’s nice because it’s so colorful and kids like colorful stuff! And that it’s nice to buy as a gift too, because kids like gifts, and they like food, so the picnic thing should really take off!”

 

You continued with enthusiasm, noticing that your hands joined in explaining everything as you waved them in the air.

You started saying something about the heavy merchandise you had to carry around when you noticed Sam looking at you with his eyes twinkling in pride.

It stopped you short from saying anything else. It also stopped your heart for a few seconds.

Without noticing it you tilted the food bag over too much and all of it’s contents, and I mean _all_ of it’s contents fell into the ground.

 

Buddy immediately lapped at it, devouring everything into his mouth without even chewing it first.

You stood awkwardly for a few seconds, just watching him gorge everything up.

“Uhh, well, you know, there _are_ advantages at having him eat that much. For example, Labradors are known to love food, and lots of it, so really I just made sure that he ate enough. Also, if he eats a lot he’ll get tired and won’t bother Dean for a while. And you know, dogs love food-”

 

“(Y\N) get the broom.”

______________________________________________________________________________

 

It was later that day, and Sam and Dean were working on their new case. They got to the crime scene around noon, suited up and each with a cup of coffee in their hand. The victim was splayed out right next to a little coffee shop, ironically, and was already covered by a white sheet.

It was a girl in her twenties who had weird bite wounds on the back of her neck.

At first they thought it was a vampire, but when they checked her face they discovered that her eyes were covered in red, puffy blots that jutted out from her skin like overgrown pimples.

It was nothing they’ve ever seen before.

 

“Have you identified the victim yet?”  
Sam asked, his eyes not leaving the poor woman’s lifeless form.

The officer that let them enter the crime scene nodded.

“Jane Brooklyn.”

The hunter wrote down all of her details in a small notebook he kept in his breast pocket while Dean wondered off to speak with the other officers for leads.

When he got to the finale detail - where the woman worked, he almost choked on the coffee he was drinking.

 

“Dean, come here. You’re gonna _like_ this.”

___________________

 

Sam was right. Dean did like the information his brother discovered. In fact, his smile was so big that it was practically twitching at the sides.

“Oh for god’s sake!”

The younger hunter rolled his eyes.

They were standing in front of a shop. A toy shop.

A sex toys shop.

 

Dean only chuckled giddily as he strode over passed the door.

“What can I do for you darlings?”

A seductive, feminine voice greeted them inside.

The rugged hunter smiled wide, about to answer something that would probably involve some kind of a flirty remark when he actually saw who it was that was standing next to the cash register.

A lady, probably in her fifties with eyebrows drawn on thinly with a dark pencil and a face that had to have been under the surgical knife at some point, and if Dean had anything to say about it - who ever was wielding that knife had no idea what he was doing.

 

Unfazed, Sam started shooting off the usual questions as he always did, impressively desensitized to the amount of sexual innuendos that were being thrown at him.

His older brother on the other hand finally got over the shock, and was now just looking around like a.. Well like an adult in an adult toys shop.

He was looking at a set of revealing lingerie and imagining his favorite porn stars in it when he accidentally knocked over a black dildo.

“Oops.”

He muttered under his breath, bending down to pick it up when all of a sudden the same seductive voice from before (granted, not very seductive anymore) stopped him mid action.

“Honey, you could take bigger than that. The one next to it should do the trick.”

The hunter’s cheeks flamed red as he caught a glimpse of the _one next to it_ from the corner of his eye.

It was big. Enormous.

He immediately straightened up, fumbling to put the first one into place.

 

Sam gave him a shocked look.

“What?! No! I was just, It fell!”  
He tried to defend, but his brother only looked away, disgusted.

“Shut up Dean, I already have the image in my head. I’m scarred for life.”  
Dean sputtered a few unrecognizable sentences in return, but in the end just cleared his throat loudly, trying to make it seem like none of it ever happened.

 

“S-so. Jane worked here, right?”  
He stuttered pathetically, facing the cashier lady with utmost courage, he decided.

“She did, as I just told your partner here a few seconds ago.”  
She replied with a hint of amusement in her voice.

“I don’t understand why you came back for the same information though. Didn’t your co worker fill you in?”

Sam raised an eyebrow.

 

“Co worker?”

He asked, confused.

“Well yeah. A woman in her thirties, short, a little on the heavy side,”

The brothers exchanged a long look.

“Did she leave her card by any chance?”  
The cashier lady turned to look behind the counter.

“She did.”

 

“Mind if we take it?”  
______________________________________________________________________________

 

You were in the middle of playing fetch with Buddy when you heard the front door open.

You didn’t know who ran there faster, you, or the just as excited little pup at your side.

The yellow tennis ball was abandoned as you jumped into Sam’s arms, laughing at Dean’s face when Buddy jumped into his.

_“Yuck!”_

The older hunter tried to pull away from the long wet licks that were being smeared all over his hands and face.

 

“You’re back!”

You announced happily, jumping in Sam’s hold as he glared daggers at his brother.

“How come he likes you so much?!”

Dean only glared back.

“How come _she_ likes you so much?”

He retorted. You felt your cheeks heating up a little.

“What’s not to like?”

The younger hunter replied smugly, tightening his grip around you.

 

“Woof!”

______________________________________________________________________________

 

It around ten o’clock at night when Dean decided to dial the numbers printed on the card. The name read Hanna Rooney, but he knew that if said ‘Hanna’ was a hunter as he suspected, then it was probably a fake name.

Either way, if she had any information they didn’t it was worth calling her.

So the hunter sat back against the couch, waiting patiently as the phone went _beep, beep, beep._

“Agent Rooney.”

 

His breath got stuck in his throat.

“Jasmine?”  
The line went silent.

 

“ _Dean?!_ ”

  
[Buddy](http://crazyartworm.deviantart.com/art/Buddy-651231580) by [crazyartworm](http://crazyartworm.deviantart.com/) on [DeviantArt](http://www.deviantart.com)

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys think?  
> This chapter really flowed well for me. I wrote it all in one sitting. My hand hurts from how fast I typed everything.  
> By the way, Buddy is my puppy. I wrote this with his adorable face in mind. Maybe that's why it was easier than usual.
> 
> Can you guys do me a little favor? Is the picture I put in the end there showing up? I can't tell if it's working or not..


	25. Bailey, Tristan, and a 'lady friend' of Dean's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean meets with someone he doesn't know how to feel about, (Y\N) does something she regrets, but in the end, things have a way of fixing themselves.  
> Well... just saying 'things' is pretty vague. Really it's just a tall giant who can get pretty overprotective sometimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy~

Dean sat at the little diner that just opened up on Main street, his fingers tapping nervously on the table.

His eyes scoured the walkway outside the window, his breath hitching every time a short girl with curly hair passed by.

The more he waited, the more he convinced himself that this was just a bad idea all around.

What would he even say to her? How would he face her?

The last time he saw her was probably one of the worst days of his life.

 

He picked up the menu, trying to distract himself from thinking too much, but every word he read had somehow linked itself to her. So did the songs changing on the small grey radio resting on the counter, and so did every word coming out of the waitress’s mouth as she asked him again if he was ready to order.

Two times she asked, like those two adorable little dimples she got whenever he managed to make her laugh. He loved making her laugh...

“ _Sir_ , are you going to order or _not?”_

 

Order. She hated order. Her living space was always as messy as her hair.

“Sir!”  
-Was the way he fantasized she would call him if he ever convinced her he was good enough to go into bed with.. They were so close to kissing back then. He remembered that moment as if it happened yesterday. He treasured it almost as much as he did (Y\N)’s homemade pies.

“Oh for god’s sake, just give a holler when you get your head down from the clouds!”

Why would he want to get down from the clouds? He was so, so _high_.

 

“Dean?”  
Said hunter jumped up in his chair as if he had just gotten electrified, managing to throw his silverware and menu off of the table in the progress. It didn’t matter how long it has been since he last heard that voice. He knew it by heart, just like the girl whose lips it departed from. Damn those lips. So pink and probably so very soft to the-

“ _Dean?_ ”

“Jasmine!”

 

Dean got up in a hurry, coughing into his hand awkwardly as he accidentally pushed his chair over to collide loudly with the floor.

Jasmine smiled knowingly, her brown hair thrown over her shoulder in a complete mess of curls. It was shorter now, he noticed. He kind of liked it that way.

The tiny woman proceeded to sit down at the other side of the table, looking as calm and confident as she has been all those years ago.

If she was in any way uncomfortable with meeting him again, the evidence was not showing on any part of her body.

 

The hunter stayed where he was, standing. He really didn’t know what to do. How to react. Thankfully Jasmine saved him. She always did, no matter how many times he would wish it to be the other way around.

“Dean, I can’t really see us getting down to business when you look like you’re on the verge of running away. How about you take a seat. I promise you, I have no intention of biting. That’s what cheeseburgers are for.”

She tapped her finger on the one remaining menu on the table.

 

The hunter  gave a weird mix between a breathless chuckle and a quiet ‘of course’ as he went to reclaim his seat again.

“Wait Dean!”

Dean watched as Jasmine left her own seat in a hurry, walking straight in his direction.

His breath hitched. Did she feel the same? Oh god but right now? They barely said anything to each other, and -

She walked right passed him.

 

“There we go.”

The man wanted to bang his head against a wall as Jasmine picked the fallen chair back up. He could feel his cheeks heating up. He was about to make a fool out of himself in front of her. _Again_.

Why could he never just be cool around her?!

“Oh don’t look so miserable. This is nothing I’m not used to from you.”

The now very much smug woman made her way back to her seat, sitting down with as much grace as a dignified queen, and Dean just knew she’s done it on purpose.

 

Jasmine observed the hunter as he finally sat down himself, finding herself familiarly amused at the way he kept trying to avert his eyes from hers.

She would never admit it out loud, but she found his unexpected shyness endearing.

“So.. how’s your brother? Last time I saw him he was just accepted into Stanford.”  
Has it really been that long?

 

“He’s fine. Back into hunting. There’s no running from it I guess.

Jasmine snorted.

“Don’t I know it.”  
Dean raised an eyebrow, finally managing to keep his emotions in check and his mind from jumping from one thought to another.

“But _you_ did. Run away from it, I mean.”

Jasmine looked down at her fingers as they fiddled with the cloth that was placed there.

 

“I thought I did.”

She admitted. She wore those smiles of hers so well up until that moment, but now they had turned small and sad, until finally they completely disappeared, and Dean grieved each and every one of them.

“But what can you do, right? It was kind of silly to believe the rules would change just for me.”

Dean cursed himself for somehow steering the conversation in a direction that made the woman so sad. Nevertheless they were now stuck on the topic, and he at least wanted to figure out exactly what had happened.

He honestly thought she would be sitting on her porch with a kid in her lap, exchanging sweet kisses with her husband. The lucky guy..

 

“What happened?”

It was such a simple question, but the hunter realized how fraught with painful memories it was for Jasmine the second said woman tried to muffle a quiet sniff in the furry fabric of her sleeve.

Her fingers drew a thick group of her curly hair to cover her left eye, which he just knew was starting to water.

 

He started to get up, his heart begging him to comfort her, but Jasmine caught on and immediately forced out a loud laugh that stopped him mid action.

It was the fakest sound Dean have ever heard, and he didn’t miss the way it quivered at the end, but either way - it was a laugh, and if she was determined enough to get the horrid noise out of her mouth in the first place, then he had a feeling she wouldn’t take well to it if he tried to convince her otherwise.

No. She needed to pretend for now, and unfortunately for him, he could completely understand where she was coming from.

 

When she looked up again, she was surprisingly composed.

“Well, you know Matt. He was always naive. Innocent. I could never really bring myself to tell him about what I used to do for a living.”

Dean only nodded, hoping that if she looked at his encouraging smile long enough it would somehow mirror over unto her own lips.

“When it came back…”

Jasmine’s eyes filled with absolute hate. The obsessive kind of hate that he used to see in his father’s eyes whenever he got a lead on the demon that killed his mother.

He hated seeing that darkness in the faces of those he cared about the most.

 

“Hey… how about we talk about our current case instead, ok?”

He was desperate for a change of topic.

“Sure.”

Jasmine’s lips tagged at the sides at a beginning of a genuine smile, and Dean felt like he could breath more easily again.

“So that’s what I’ve got so far,”  
______________________________________________________________________________

 

It was 17:00 O’clock in the afternoon, an hour after your shift had started.

You looked out the window, pathetically longing to be the old lady struggling with her walking cane right outside the store.

Oh how you have come to hate your new job. Things just kept adding up.

First it was the grumpy indecisive woman who couldn’t decide between two cooking magazines (and ended up not buying either), then it was the groups of loud kids who burst in every couple of minutes and proceeded to make a mess out of everything you managed to organize, and finally, the first and most bold letters on the long list of ‘Why I’d Rather Be At Home Right Now’ was a name. -Bailey.

 

Your co-worker was by far the most obnoxious person you have ever met. She was sixteen, older than you by only two years, yet the way she acted was always making you wonder if she had somehow been de-aged one year backwards for every stupid comment she made about her boyfriend - an even dumber boy by the name of Tristan who kept coming over to smooch her while she was failing to help out the customers. All in all, you were pretty much forced to do her job for her while the two sneaked off to the storeroom.

It was really starting to get on your nerves.

 

All you wanted to be doing right now was spend time with the brothers, or maybe meet up with Yuuki and have him translate the new volume of Gintama for you.

Instead, you were currently trying to explain to a line of customers why there wasn’t a second cashier worker to make their wait shorter.

_It’s all for Dean,_ you reminded yourself.

“I wanna see the manager!”

 

A middle aged woman with chins piling up (or was it down?) all the way to her neck barked, her hand clutching tightly around her son’s wrist, who was crying like someone has just been murdered in front of him. Big, fat balls of snot were stuffed in his contorted nose, some of them rolling down into his mouth. You couldn’t help your disgusted expression when instead of finding a tissue paper, or even wiping it with his sleeve, the kid simply swallowed it all and then resumed his crying.

 

“Mam, I’m so sorry, but the manager isn’t here today.”

You explained politely. Elana was on her day off, which was partly the reason why no one cared that Bailey was nowhere to be seen.

If you had any hope whatsoever that the new information would somehow calm the woman down, it had all shattered when the man standing behind her started shooting off complaints of his own.

 

When Bailey appeared from the corner of your eye standing hand in hand with her stupid boyfriend you completely lost it.

Pushing the waist high wooden door that kept you separated from the angry customers, you stormed off towards the isle the two were casually flirting at.

“Bailey!”  
You screamed, pushing Tristan aside (not caring that he hit a shelf full of shampoo bottles in the progress) and standing between them.

The tall girl looked at you with her mouth hanging open.

 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!”  
She sneered, looking from you to the staring customers and back a couple of times before her eyes filled with anger.

“What are _you_ doing?! Do you realize that while you’re lazing off with your _stupid_ boyfriend, I have to do everything alone!?”  
Bailey clutched her boney fingers to your shirt all of a sudden, but surprisingly enough you were anything _but_ scared.

 

“Did you just call my boyfriend stupid?”  
She asked in disbelief. You looked at Tristan, who had a weird spark of.. Was that lust in his eyes?!

Since his girlfriend had her back turned, the idiot even had the courage to wink at you.

Yeah, he definitely deserved the name calling.

“I did. Because he _is_ . And so are you if you think I’m not telling Elena!”

Bailey snorted.

“Boo hoo, is that what you’re gonna do? _Tell_ on me?”

That was it, before you could stop yourself you lunged at her, tackling her to the ground to the gasps of your gathering audience.

“Cat fight!”  
Someone yelled, probably Tristan, as you brought your open palm down to connect loudly with your co-worker’s cheek.

 

Bailey, who quickly recovered from her shock, fought back. She punched your nose. Hard.

Laughing victoriously, she quickly knocked you over, sitting heavily on top of you as you tried to get your hands free.

“Babe stop!”

Tristan pulled her off just as she threw another punch, missing her target but not completely as her sharp nails grazed your cheeks.

 

Bailey struggled in her boyfriend’s hold, who was actually looking worried. Not even he thought it would get this far, apparently.

You couldn’t tell when exactly it was that the store became so quiet, but now it was very much staring you in the face.

You quickly got up, your hand covering your bloodied nose. It was most definitely broken.

“Alright, show’s over!”

Tristan announced, pulling his girlfriend in the direction of the damned store room.

 

“Go, I’ll take care of everything.”

He motioned to the struggling girl in his hold.

You had no idea why he decided to help you, but you were very much on board with his plan.

You quickly hurried behind the counter, snatched your bag, and stormed out.

 

______________________________________________________________________________

 

Sam was sitting on the sofa with his laptop perched up in his lap when you quietly opened the door.

You felt horrible. And scared. You were terrified with yourself. You decided it was best to avoid the brothers, and luckily Dean was out, so you only had the younger hunter to deal with.

Well. _Only_. As if it were that easy.

“(Y\N)?”

Said man asked, lifting his eyes from whatever it was he was reading about.

 

You hurried to cover your nose with your sweater and picked up your pace on your way to your room.

“What are you doing home? Don’t you have like,” He glanced at his watch. “Two hours left?”

“Finished early,”  
You answered, already sprinting down the hallway. You cringed at the steps quickly following behind. When the hunter was worried about you he would follow you around like a shadow, and that was really not working for you right now.

 

“(Y\N) wait up!”  
He called, doubling his speed as well, which, added up with his long legs meant that he was right behind you in about 20 seconds.

“(Y\N),”

He pulled you to him and turned you around to face him, his eyes widening at the blood smeared down and around your nose.

“What _happened?_ ”

 

He asked, his voice rough with worry. He ran his fingers over your cheeks, clutching your chin in a tight hold as he turned your face around like it was a doll’s.

You yanked his hand away.

“It’s fine. See,” You tugged at the top of your nose roughly. “Already healed.”

You looked away from his piercing gaze.

“Monster, remember?”

 

You were shaking at this point, and apparently Sam couldn’t take that, because he pulled you into his arms, one hand keeping you close to him while the other cradled your head.

All of a sudden you felt yourself being lifted into the air. If you felt like you had any dignity left after today you probably would have stopped him, but for now you just let him do whatever he wanted.

The hunter carried you back over to the sofa and sat down, his chin resting on your temple.

“(Y\N). What happened?”

He asked again, but it was more of a demand this time really.

 

“It was Bailey, alright?!”

You couldn’t hold off the anger even if you really put your mind to it.

“That stupid girl from the store?”

You pulled your head back away from Sam’s chest in surprise. He almost never called anyone names. When he was around you at least.

The man couldn’t help but smile at your expression.

He wiped a stray tear from your cheek

 

“What did she do?”

He coaxed, his tone soft as he brushed his fingers through your messy hair with almost breathtaking gentleness.

You let him play with your hair for a while until you found your voice again.

“She was off with her boyfriend again and she left me alone, and then some woman started yelling at me, and, a-and then I saw her and I couldn’t stop myself Sam! I-I just snapped!”

You started stuttering, having a difficulty breathing as you remembered Bailey’s shocked face when you tackled her. You didn’t know you had it in you. You _shouldn’t_ have had it in you.

 

“I hate what I am! I was never that way b-before. I don’t like being a monster.”

You finished. You were surprised when in place of a disappointed look you found an amused one.

“If getting into a fight makes you a monster, than Dean and I are as bad as you can get.”

You instantly felt bad. Sam and Dean were the best men you have met in your entire life!

“I didn’t mean that! You and Dean are so good, you’re so kind, and brave, and, and-”

You stopped talking when Sam’s smile only got bigger the more you babbled.

 

“Now that we both decided that you’re not a monster, how about we go clean up your face?”

______________________________________________________________________________

 

The day after (Y\N)’s small melt down, Sam was sitting down with his brother to discuss their current case.

“I’ve got a lead.”

Dean announced, much to his surprise. As far as he knew, they got no further information from their trip to the sex shop, and no new deaths have come up.

“What? How?”

The question caught the older hunter off guard. He buried his eyes in the notes he had taken from Jasmine the day before.

“Why does it matter? The important thing is - I got one!”  
Sam always hated when his brother got that way. He was a terrible liar, and even if he’s managed to fool him every once in awhile, it would all explode in both of their faces in the end.

“Dean-”

Said man got up, throwing the notes down on the table near his brother.

“Look, Sam, can we just get on with the case? How long do you think It’ll take this Nathair creature to attack again?”

 

Sam’s mouth dropped open.

“Nathair?! You know what we’re hunting?”  
Dean stopped in his tracks for a few seconds, before regaining his mask of annoyance.

“I do, now can you please just figure out how to kill it? I need my coffee..”  
He watched as the older hunter walked over to the kitchen with a deep frown settling on his face.

This was _not_ good…

_____________________________

 

“That’ll be 23 dollars and 99 cents.”

You informed the smiling old man in front of you.

You had no idea why, but it seemed that every customer who walked in today was especially nice to you.

As for Bailey, the girl was completely avoiding you, which you found very relieving. You dreaded coming back to work, but Sam convinced you that everything would be ok. He basically promised, which you found kind of weird.

 

“Thank you. What a kind young lady you are.”

You stared after the man as he walked out.

A light touch on your shoulder snapped your attention elsewhere though. It was Tristan.

“What?”

You asked in a boring tone, hoping it would get him to go away. The guy only smiled that annoying wide grin of his.

“Come with me for a sec’.”

 

You rolled your eyes.

“Tristan. I’m _working_.”

You informed him trying to keep your eyes in front of you where the customers were supposed to be standing with bags over bags as usual, but unfortunately for you, today was a very quiet day for some reason. You fumbled with the bandage covering your nose irritably.

“I don’t see anyone who needs your help right now.”

He said smugly, leaning against the counter.

 

“Come on, it’ll only take a second, I promise!”

You looked around, desperately looking for anyone to save you from actually going with him, but none appeared and you forced out a sigh.

“Fine.”

Tristan grinned again as he pulled you after him by his hand, and you took a little pleasure at his expression when you yanked it out of it.

He maneuvered the two of you around until you were standing in front of-

 

“Oh hell no!”

You snapped at him, disgust settling in your stomach as you turned away from the store room.

“Wait!”

You stopped mid-walk. It wasn’t Tristan’s voice. It was Bailey’s.

The sixteen year old emerged out from behind the door with ‘Staff Only’ written on it in red, bold letters.

When she stepped out completely she seemed a tad bit nervous, and it had you wondering just what her boyfriend said to her after you left yesterday.

 

“I just wanted to say,”

She took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left you alone to take care of all the customers like that.”

You stood there, shocked for a couple of minutes. That is, until Tristan nudged your shoulder.

“Uh, I, I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have attacked you that way.”

Bailey let a little smile climb to her lips. You’ve never seen her smile besides maybe when she was with her boyfriend. It looked well on her.

 

“So.. we’re ok?”

She asked, already getting back to her over confident self. You had a feeling this small truce won’t last for too long, but you accepted it for now.

“Sure.”

You confirmed.

You watched as Tristan put his hand over Bailey’s shoulder with a smile. His eyes were on you though, and it was creeping you out a little.

You were about to excuse yourself when a familiar voice called your name.

 

“(Y\N)?”

You tensed up, slowly turning around to face…

Dean. Well, Dean and a short, curly haired woman who stared at you with curious eyes. _Oh shit oh fuck oh shit of fuck!_

“Dean!”

The hunter observed the work apron you had on with confusion

All of a sudden you felt hands tagging at it from behind.

 

“I told you to stop trying to cover for Tristan, he should do his own job!”

You stared at Bailey as she pulled the apron off of your body and threw it over onto her unsuspecting boyfriend’s hands, who caught it and proceeded to look at it like he was questioning it’s existence as well as its purpose.

When he received a sharp pinch to his side though, he immediately pulled it over his head and tied it behind his back.

“Aren’t you supposed to be studying at Yuuki’s?”

That was the lie that you and Sam decided upon when you first got the job.

You scratched at the back of your neck nervously.

“You know you don’t need to lie to me if you just wanna hang out with your friends, right?”

You sighed in relief when the hunter provided an explanation for you unknowingly.

“Oh! I get it. It’s about Sam isn’t it?”

A wide smile spread across his lips.

“It’s ok. I won’t say a word.”

 

You thanked god for Dean’s quick jumping to conclusions habit. For once, you could use it for your advantage.

You also looked over at Bailey, mouthing your thank you’s for her. You were honestly surprised at her quick thinking.

The woman still standing behind the hunter tugged at his shirt with a confused smile.

Wait, Dean had something to hide too!

“Sounds fair. I won’t tell Sam about your new lady friend there either.

 

At that the man blushed completely red, much to the amusement of his ‘lady friend’ who couldn’t stop herself from giggling into Dean’s back, which in return made him tense up, which in return caused her to giggle harder.

They had a funny way of interacting, and you were definitely gonna bug him with questions about it later.

“Jasmine,”

The woman introduced, pushing past the still embarrassed hunter and reaching her hand forward.

You gladly took it.

 

“(Y\N).”

Jasmine’s eyes filled with mirth.

“I know. I’ve heard a lot about you. Deano here is very fond of you. You’re practically all he talks about.”

Now it was your turn to blush.

“Jasmine!”  
Dean piped up, his face burning even more, if that was possible.

“Right! We were only here to pay for those,”  
Jasmine said with a smile, glancing down at the small pack of toothbrushes, toothpaste, and a blanket tucked under her armpit.

 

“Tristan, was it? Come on would ya, We’re in a hurry.”

You had to choke back a laugh as the now pale boy was lead away towards the cash register area. You waved him off with an almost evil smirk.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you guys think?


	26. It’s the females

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Y\N)'s having a rough time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it~

“Guys, I’m home!”

You called as you entered the bunker, closing the door behind you with your leg as you were currently trying to balance five bags of food in your hands.

Sam asked you to go shopping instead of him because he was busy researching, handing you a long list of items, and since today was your day off you happily agreed (Well, he kind of bribed you, saying that you could get some snacks along with everything else).

You laid the grocery bags on the floor and stretched your arm out, and then your other arm, and then your fingers as you criss crossed them in the air with a deep sigh of relief. Those bags were  _ really  _ heavy.

 

“Guys, some help please?”   
You called a little  louder. When you got no answer you deserted the bags near the door and started walking towards the kitchen, knowing that Dean was supposed to be making lunch right around this time of the day.

The closer you got to the kitchen’s entrance, the more laughter you could hear.

It was just Sam’s at first, but Dean joined quickly in suit, and then finally a womanly voice echoed over to your ear, making you pick up your pace in curiousity.

 

“(Y\N), there you are! Have you met Jasmine?”   
Sam asked, pointing to the curly haired woman you met at the store the other day.

Dean gave you a begging look, so you shook your head, pretending that you have never seen the girl before in your life.

The taller Winchester pulled you into his side.

“Is she what you imagined?”   
The question was directed at Jasmine, who gave Sam a wide smile in return.

 

“Nah, I imagined her to be more.. What was that word you used to describe her?”   
She turned to Dean, who was just standing there leaning against the counter with a beer in his hand. He flashed you an evil smirk.

“Presumptuous?”   
Sam’s mouth fell open.

“That’s a big word.”

The older hunter simply tilted his beer forwards a little, before bringing it up to his lips.

 

“How am I in any way presumptuous?”

You glared at Dean.

“Don’t take it to heart, he probably doesn’t even know what it means.”   
Sam chuckled, walking over to the fridge and snatching two bottles of beer. He half waved it in Jasmine’s direction, who gave him a thumbs up.

The hunter noticed your expression before walking back to the group though, and quickly grabbed your orange juice. It was incredible how fast he caught on when you were feeling left out.

 

You smiled up at Sam as he handed you your drink, who looked around to see Dean and Jasmine were busy talking on their own before planting a kiss on your forehead.

 

“I saw that.”

Dean commented from where he was standing next to his ‘lady friend’, who was watching him with amused eyes.

You could feel your cheeks warming a little (you wished you could blame it on your orange juice), but you weren’t  _ too  _ embarrassed. That was just the way Sam interacted with you. He was always very affectionate with his actions, which was part of the reason why moving in with the brothers got easier much sooner than you expected it to.

 

“So what? You have your girl, I have mine.”

That, on the other hand, did make you turn completely red. Dean too, you noticed.

“Smooth.”

Jasmine commented, trying to hold back a laugh for her embarrassed friend’s benefit.

Dean coughed into his hand loudly.

“How about we move this party to the living room? We need to keep working on that case.”

Jasmine nodded and Sam hummed his agreement, and so all four of you started walking out of the kitchen.

 

You were feeling kind of giddy (though you would never admit to anyone that it was because of a certain hunter’s words) as you trailed happily behind, when Dean stopped you. The rest of the group was already far ahead, so it gave the action more effect.

“(Y\N)...”

You lowered your head in understanding. The older hunter stood there awkwardly for a while, before reaching a hand in his pocket.

“Here, how about you go out and have some fun? You were talking about getting that coat we passed by last time, right? “

 

He took your hand and opened it, laying two 15$ bills in the middle of your palm before closing your fingers on it with his own.

When you didn’t say anything he let out a deep sigh.

“I promise you, it’s really not all that interesting this case we’re working on. Sam fell asleep yesterday in the middle of his research. “

You looked back up at his encouraging smile.

“Dean, you coming?”   
  


Jasmine’s voice called from the living room.

Dean quickly replied with ‘just a minute’ before giving you one last look and hurrying off to join Jasmine and Sam.

______________________________________________________________________________

 

It was Monday now, and you were once again in your work apron as you wrapped a toy gun up as a present in front of the woman who had ordered it a few days back.

She wore a tailored suit and seemed pretty important,  but at least she was patient.

You finished putting the now beautifully wrapped (you were really proud of it) box inside of a bag and handed it into her awaiting hands, when you felt someone tap on your shoulder.

You quickly turned around.

 

“What do you want Tristan?”   
You knew it was him even before you turned to face him. Ever since the fight with Bailey, the girl’s boyfriend had taken up the habit of constantly bugging you while you worked. It was annoying as all hell.

The smug, brown haired boy simply smirked as he stood a little too close to you for comfort. 

It was like Cas all over again, but at least the angel listened to you when you complained about it.

“Nothing, I just wanted to get a better view of those eyes. Not that your behind is hard to look at.”

 

You gulped down the urge to throw a punch at the guy as he rested his hand too close to yours on the counter, as if he thought you’d have the urge to put your own on top of it. If the bastard knew what was good for him, he’d move it elsewhere before you’d bite it off.

“You know, Bailey’s eyes are nice to look at too, how about you go look at them instead?”   
The last thing you needed at the moment was to have Bailey after you because her dumb boyfriend was flirting with another girl. A girl that you knew she deep down really hated, even if you were now trying very hard to be friendly with each other.

“You think so? Tell me, (Y\N), is there any chance you’re bi? I don’t mind watching some girl on girl action.”

 

The guy really knew how to get on your nerves. He was lucky that you didn’t tell Dean about him, or the only action he’d be seeing would be a foot in his face when the furious hunter kicked him so far into the ground that he wouldn’t even need anyone to properly dig him a grave.

“What do I need to say to make you go away?”   
You sighed, busying yourself with organizing the box of colorful ribbons that you would use to tape on top of each gift you wrapped.

“Well, you can say that you would love to agree to my offer.”   
  


You gritted your teeth in annoyance. 

A day after you made up with bailey, Tristan had asked you to hang out with him after work. Of course you said no, wanting no connection to the guy whatsoever, but it seems like he simply didn’t understand the meaning of rejection.

“I’m not going anywhere with you. Especially when it would set your girlfriend after me.”

You informed him again.

 

“Come on, I’ll protect you..”

Tristan did that thing with his eyebrows where you lift one up, bring it down, and lift the other at the same time, all while subtly (at least he thought he was subtle) flexing his right arm, the one still lying on the counter.

You rolled your eyes.

“You know what you remind me of?”

Suddenly curious, the boy leaned in closer to listen (and abuse the personal space rule again).

 

“I was watching TV yesterday, and there was something I just couldn’t take my eyes off,”

You started, nearly bursting in laughter at the way Tristan’s eyes started filling with wonder and urgency for you to finish your story. 

“Well, it was on National Geographic, and you really reminded me of one of those red-assed baboons trying to allure their mates by pushing it in their faces.”

Tristan stood there open mouthed for a moment, looking really disappointed, but to your dismay it only took him about two seconds to recover.

 

“It’s the females.”

You tilted your head to the side. “What?”

A wide smile stretched on his lips, looking like he just won the war.

“It’s the females who have the red asses. They are  the ones doing the alluring.”

You cursed yourself silently for not thinking that far ahead.

“Hey Tristan!”

A boyiish voice called out.

 

To your horror it was Benjamin Bitten and his sidekick. How sad was he? He was literally a sidekick  _ of  _ a sidekick. At least Adam wasn’t around to settle it.

“Double D’s!”

The idiot called naturally, as if it really was your real name.

Suddenly you remembered another fact you learned while cuddling with Sam on the sofa, and for once you thanked god for the man’s taste in choosing what to watch in his free time.

You turned to Tristan, but addressed all four boys when you opened your mouth again.

 

“While we’re on the topic of baboons and such, did you know that Gorillas in all-male groups tend to engage  in homosexual interactions?”

______________________________________________________________________________

 

You entered the bunker with a wide smile on your face, humming ‘Victorious’ By Panic At The Disco loudly. You were almost skipping. Damn it felt good putting those boys in their place for once!

On your way to your room, jumping and singing, you passed by a pink sweater flung on the floor. And then a pair of leggings.

You hesitantly picked them up in confusion. You were 99% sure they weren’t yours.

Weird.

  
  


“Oh God!  _ Dean! _ ”

You stopped dead in your tracks, frozen solid and glued to the ground. You raised your eyes up cautiously, noting that you were standing in front of Sam’s half opened door.  _ Sam’s _ . Oh little bro was gonna  _ murder  _ him.

Through the open crack you could see.. Oh jesus that was  _ not _ what you were used to seeing on The Sims! There were limbs thrown in very compromising positions, and you couldn’t help but think back to the comment Tristan made about the baboons, about how it was the females who did the alluring and the ass thrusting and oh god you had to stop thinking about it!

 

“Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew!”

You chanted loudly as you ran towards the living room with your hands covering your eyes, bumping into a wall or two in the progress.

“(Y\N)?!”

Dean’s panicked call chased you down the hallway all the way to the couch, where you picked up a pillow and tried to smother your ears with it.

There was loud frustrated grunt and a chore of juicy curses being released into the air, and you cringed when despite trying to muffle the sounds with the pillow your ears could still pick up on a zipper being pulled up in a hurry.

 

“(Y\N)?”

That was definitely Jasmine. You recognized her voice. 

You slowly turned around to see the disheveled couple emerging from the hallway, Dean with his jeans on, barefeet and an otherwise bare chest, and Jasmine tightly gripping a white sheet around her body.

“In Sam’s room?  _ Really? _ ”   
You spat, feeling your cheeks reddening from embarrassment. The shirtless man gave you a half apologetic half begging look.   
“I’ll give you money if you keep quiet.”   
  


Jasmine nudged her sex partner on his arm roughly, causing him to rub at it while sending her an innocent look.   
“Ahh, not that it’s really my business, but since when were you two, um, “

You trailed off, not really wanting to finish that sentence.

“Just.. today.”

The woman answered, looking at you under her long eyelashes. Dean quickly nodded in agreement.

“Right.”

 

An awkward silence filled the space around you, almost too thick to breath in, which is why, you concluded, no one dared to open their mouths and let the little air they had left escape.

You were never more grateful when your phone rang in your pocket.

You held up a finger.

“I need to get this.”   
______________________________________________________________________________

 

It’s been two days since the accident that shall not be named. Fear of the name only increases fear of the thing itself. Was that what Hermione said on Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets? You were pretty sure it was something along these lines, and you were in complete agreement with her. The more the three of you avoided the subject, the more you would get uncomfortable around Dean, and Jasmine, who you were seeing more and more lately as the case they were working on seemed to stretch on forever and she had offered to team up. 

It was especially uncomfortable when Sam was around, since the whole thing happened in  _ his  _ room. 

 

You hated feeling that way, especially around the older hunter. 

With school in the morning and work in the afternoon, you barely got time to hang out with him. The times you did get to see him was when you got home at around 19:30, and by then he would either be deep into a discussion with Sam about the case, or nowhere to be seen altogether since he and Jasmine had gotten into the habit of going out on dates. It was a simple equation - Dean hanging out with his now official girlfriend meant no hanging out with you.

You didn’t want to admit it, but you were getting jealous. 

 

You grumpily shoved a few notebooks, a pen and an eraser into a bag before handing it over to the customer waiting on the other side of the counter.

You finished typing down the price into the cash register and stopped yourself from almost shoving the nice lady out the door, and then proceeded to pick up the broom leaning against the wall.

You felt bad about the weird feeling feeling of hate boiling at the bottom of your stomach.

Jasmine was a good person. Cheerful, funny, and she made Dean happy. You should  _ love _ her.

Instead, you found yourself aggressively sweeping the floor.

 

“I should call the cops on you. I know broom abuse when I see it.”   
You let out a deep sigh, raising your head to see Tristan standing next to you with his hand on top of the broom, stopping you from moving it around.

“You really have no life, do you Tristan?”

You spat angrily, hoping that for once he would get a clue and leave you alone.

The boy gently pried your fingers off of the broom and held it away from you, looking like he actually cared about the wellbeing of it.

“Hey… how about you get some rest? There’s only half an hour until your shift ends and I’m not as heartless as you think I am, you know.”   
  


You stared wide eyed at the teenager as he looked away from you.

“Did you hit your head or something?”

Hurt flashed in his eyes for just a second, much to your surprise, but he quickly covered it up with a smile. In about two seconds he turned you around and untied your apron, pulling it up and above your head and tying it back up around his own waist. 

He then took a hold of your hand and lead you over to the chair he knew was behind the counter.

“Rest.”

He said, pushing you into it with little to no force.

 

For his sake, you were glad that Bailey was bedridden with a fever, although you did kind of feel bad that instead of taking care of his girlfriend, he was here sweeping the floor of a shop he didn’t even work in.

You watched him handling the cash register for a while, the sight weirdly calming. It was even weirder that even though he was standing within a close proximity to you, for once - you weren’t really annoyed.

“Tristan?”

You called, pulling his attention away from organizing the plastic bags behind the counter.

 

“Yeah?”   
He was busying himself with the flimsy things more than he probably needed too.

“Why are you here?”   
You could see his shoulders tensing as his fingers stopped moving. He shrugged.

“I’m always here.”

The tone it was said in was implying something. Something you couldn’t really understand, but for some reason you felt like the guy was desperately trying to tell you something.

“I noticed.”

 

Finally, he turned to look you in the eye. 

“Good.”

______________________________________________________________________________

 

It was dinner time, and the four of you (yes it was now almost always the  _ four  _ of you) were sitting round the table, munching greedily on the great meal Sam had cooked up.

You looked at Dean as he shoved a mouthful of mashed potatoes into his mouth. You would have made fun of him if you weren’t currently doing the same.

Sam however, did.

“Slow down there, you’ll choke. There is plenty more at the kitchen.”   
Jasmine giggled that feminine giggle of hers, and it took the older Winchester maybe two seconds tops to straighten up, cough awkwardly, and wipe his mouth with the back of his hand.

 

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes in annoyance. Sam gave you a questioning look, but didn’t say anything.

“So we were thinking,”   
Dean started, clearly meaning him and Jasmine.

“Since we’re working on the same case, and Jasmine comes over a lot anyways, it would probably better if she just moved in for a while.”   
Sam was right apparently right, because you did choke on your food.

Worried, the older hunter quickly handed you a glass of water.

 

“You ok?”   
He asked. You nodded, downing the whole cup as if it were a strong alcoholic beverage.

When the three reassured themselves that you really were ok, Sam gave the couple a wide smile.

“That sounds great.”

He concluded, and you lost any hope that the guy would side with you on the matter, not that you would ever be brave enough to actually voice your opinion anyways.

“Thank you. Really. Means a lot to me.”   
Jasmine looked at the younger Winchester, who only waved his hand in the air, brushing it off.

 

The more you had to look at the woman sitting across the table from you, the less hungry you were feeling, until finally you lost your appetite altogether.

As the conversation went on you found yourself getting getting really angry at her for no reason at all.

Well, maybe there was a reason - how much Dean was praising her for once. He talked so fondly of her..

“Of course I remember!”

Said man laughed, the sound full of happiness, and right now made you downright  _ sad _ .

 

“It was like only one head shorter than her. Do you know how much she struggled to reload after every shot?”   
He was referring to the time he taught her how to shoot an M16. Jasmine joined in the laughter, and Sam was sporting a wide smile of his own.

“Isn’t it kind of dangerous to shoot an M16 if you’re that short? I mean, what if she lost balance and hurt someone?”

All eyes turned to you. You should have felt bad at the accusing tone that escaped your mouth, but for now your anger was protecting you from any guilt.

 

Dean gave you an annoyed look, but the conversation flowed easily after Jasmine laughed it off.

You tried to hold back on any more snide comments, but it became harder and harder, especially when the older hunter got protective of the person they were directed at.

Sam was trying to hint you that you were going to far, but it didn’t stop you, and the atmosphere around the table became really uncomfortable.

“Dessert? I made pie,”

The taller man offered, desperate to get the conversation back into a playful mood.

You might have gone with his plan,  _ might _ , but then Dean Winchester. 

The. Dean. Winchester.

Gave Jasmine a big piece of his  _ own share of pie _ .

 

“You sure you really need it?”   
You gave Jasmine a look over, letting your eyes linger on her stomach on purpose. Jasmine was a little too thick to be called skinny, and if you were honest yourself her size really didn’t make her any less pretty, but right now you wanted to hurt her.

_ “(Y\N)!” _

Dean growled, his face contorting in anger. His eyes pinned you in your seat. He was absolutely furious. His loud voice was like a slap to the face, and yet instead of feeling yourself cowering back in pain, you found your anger was quickly growing to match his own.

 

Jasmine looked between the two of you worriedly.

“Dean, It’s ok,”

She started, but the hunter cut her off.

“No it’s not. Apoligize.”   
You glared at him, dragging your answer out.

_ “No.” _

 

All of a sudden the hunter got up, pushing his chair aside loudly.

“(Y\N) go to your room.”

You looked up at him with wide eyes. He only ever sent you to your room once before, and that was when you were trying to run outside and he was trying to keep you safe. This time it was purely a method of discipline. 

You kept your bottom glued to the chair. You would not move. This was too humiliating! And in front of Jasmine too..

 

“(Y\N). To. Your. Room.  _ Now _ . I won’t repeat myself.”   
Sam got up from his own seat and sent you a begging look. His eyes were willing you to remember what happened when you refused to do as his brother said the last time. 

With a sharp pang to your heart you envisioned yourself being pulled up over his shoulder, kicking and screaming. The thought was horrible enough, but having Jasmine looking at you through through whole ordeal?

With one last glare at the seething hunter you got up and stormed off to your room.

______________________________________________________________________________

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be sure to leave a comment! I'm really curious what you guys thought about this one :)


	27. Mine. Mine. Mine.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens...   
> (These are my words for 'I really don't feel like writing a summary.')

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy~

You stared down blankly at the sandwich Sam had left outside your door probably sometime before your alarm clock went off this morning. Unfortunately though, you really weren’t hungry, and your stomach was too unsettled to risk eating anything anyways.

For now you just played with the aluminum foil that was once wrapped around your neglected lunch, tearing it to tiny pieces, gathering them up into a tight group and then blowing on them softly, only to then watch them scatter around on the table and then gather them up all over again.

 

By the third time you repeated the sisyphean process, students started trickling in one after one into the classroom, their sandwiches in their stomachs, and their wrapping papers thrown carelessly into the trash bin perched against the pasty white wall.

Miss Green entered the room next, a grey folder with dozens of papers sticking up in an unorganized manner held heavily under her armpit. She dropped it on the table closest to the erasable board with a huff of relief and then quickly adjusted her glasses over her blue eyes.

 

You watched with uninterested eyes as she motioned for the class to take their seats and cease their enthusiastic rumbling. When they did, she gifted them one of her trade mark smiles.

Miss Green was the only teacher in the entire school who managed to get the students, even the most rebellious ones amongst them to listen, and you didn’t know whether it was because all of her classes were interesting, because she was a master of being strict and conversation-arousing at the same time, or because she was just generally a good person that everybody couldn’t help but love.

 

Either way, today this charm of hers didn’t work on you, and you found yourself staring at a little spot behind her for the entire lesson.

You kept thinking about the words that had come out of your mouth last night. Those venomous comments. 

You kept seeing the way Dean’s eyes engulfed themselves in fiery anger. It wasn’t just anger though. 

It was disappointment. It was disbelief, and it was  _ hurt _ .

 

You hurt him. It was near impossible to hurt the badass hunter. Not physically, of course. As strong and experienced as he was, he was no Chuck Norris.

To hurt him emotionally though.. That you could only achieve by hurting his dear ones, which is exactly what you did. You hit him right where he was vulnerable the most, and as soon as you realized it you felt like the shittiest excuse of a human being.

Oh right. You weren’t a human being at all. You were a monster. Perhaps that fact was boiling under all this time just waiting to announce itself.

 

“Miss (Y\L\N)?”   
When that spot you were focused on up until now was blocked out of your sight, you almost jumped out of your seat.

You raised your head up to see miss Green looking at you with slight concern.

“Are you alright? Your friend here is worried about you, and I have to admit that I can see why.”   
At the mention of your friend you slowly moved your eyes over to the short boy who was standing to miss Green’s right. Yuuki was looking at you under his messy black hair, wearing a deep frown on his lips. They were both eyeing you expectantly, waiting for you to open your mouth for the first time today.

 

“I’m fine.”

You hurried. You appreciated their concern, but you really weren't one of those people who felt better when someone insisted them to share their worries. 

You vaguely remembered a day in third grade when you had locked yourself inside the girl’s bathroom, and your friend Amy kept sliding notes under the door, trying to coax you to get out. You hated it. You just wanted to be alone and worry about your current problem, not about the fact that you were probably hurting your friend.

 

Miss Green gave you a doubtful raise of her thin eyebrow.

“Did something happen at home? Are you having some kind of a family dispute?”

“Did something happen with Dean?”

Yuuki quickly added, managing to hit the target with just one try. You would have been surprised had the hunter in question not been the core source of your troubles most of the time anyways. Well, beside the life threatening stuff. 

“Dean?”

 

The teacher asked, trying to gather as much information as Yuuki and you would allow.

“He’s her older brother.”

Your friend provided, and you couldn’t stop yourself from sending a glare his way. You didn’t exactly feel like letting someone prob around in your already confused feelings.

“Did you have a fight with him?”   
You wanted to yell at her, but the soft smile she had on was too kind for that, and you’ve already caused enough pain to your surroundings in the last couple of days.

 

“... Yes”

You finally answered, feeling surprisingly relieved as the word left your mouth. Miss green pulled out a chair from the table next to yours and sat down, and all of a sudden you felt like you were at a therapy session rather than at school, shoving your uneaten sandwich unceremoniously down  into your backpack so you didn’t have to look anyone in the eye for a second.

At least the woman didn’t pull out one of her notebooks to start writing comments about everything you were about to share.

 

“Dean is…”

You started, feeling like a war was going on inside of your head - emotions fighting emotions. Anger against hurt, guilt against jealousy. The one that won out over everything though was-

“I  _ miss  _ him.”

You felt like you might start to cry if you didn’t change the subject somehow, but at the same time you knew that you were gonna be stuck telling the story of exactly what happened even if you thought that doing so was a bad idea.

Yuuki tilted his head to the side in confusion.

“But he never left anywhere, did he?”   
  


You let a bitter laugh leave your lips.

“Not exactly.. We’re just not spending any time together lately.”

Miss green smoothed a hair out of her face and nodded.

“Why?”

The answer to that question was painful to get out, mostly because you’ve been in denial about it.

“Because he prefers to spend his time with someone else.”

To your surprise, miss Green let out a hearty chuckle. By the way Yuuki was staring at her, he was just as confused.

 

“Let me guess. He got a new girlfriend.”   
Your eyes must have widened in shock, because the woman proceeded to burst out in a fit of giggles. Eventually though, she stopped, and her hand found a resting place on top of yours.

“Wait for it to calm down. They’re just at that stage in their relationship where they can’t get enough of each other, you know? Everything’s exciting, new.”

Your mind wandered back to the time you caught them together in Sam’s bed.

“ _ Don’t I know it.. _ ”

You mumbled under your breath.

 

Miss green patted your hand gently. Her eyes met yours, filled with sympathy.

“He’ll miss you too soon. I’m sure.”   
At that a sad frown settled over your lips. 

“I don’t think he will. I… I did something I’m not exactly proud of yesterday and now he won’t talk to me.”   
Those last three words were said with a quiver and a hitch of your breath as you tried to shove back your tears. One slid out anyways.

Yuuki was immediately by your side, rubbing your back awkwardly. You could tell he was really trying though.

 

The blue eyed woman gave you a knowing smile, which you felt was a bit too optimistic for you right now.

“Then apologize.”

It was supposed to be as simple as miss Green’s tone was suggesting it to be, but you felt conflicted. It wasn’t that you weren’t sorry for saying all of those mean things to Jasmine - you  _ were _ , but there was something else in the mix that was holding you back. Something you thought was perhaps a little ridiculous.

 

“But.. but,”

You started, lowering your head in an attempt to block out the looks that they were gonna give you as soon as you opened your mouth again.

“What if Jasmine took my place? If I apologize then she’s in the right and I’m in the wrong, and It’s one point for her and zero for me.”   
Now it was Yuuki’s turn to laugh, though his was softer and quieter, which you were grateful at the moment.

 

“(Y\N), I’ve seen how protective he is of you. You’re his little treasure. You’ve got at least a thousand more points than whoever this girl is. Believe me.”

You could feel your cheeks reddening as you considered what he was saying.

“If you’re really worried about points here, I think apologizing would get you to a thousand and one.”

Miss Green, who was watching the two of you for a while, gave you an even wider smile than the one Yuuki was wearing.

“You two are thinking small. Don’t you want to get to, say,  _ two _ thousand and one points?”

______________________________________________________________________________

 

Sam observed his brother bitterly as the man downed his third bottle of beer. 

It wasn’t unusual, to be honest. Everyone knew he was an addict, and he would lie if he said he didn’t possess a somewhat similar love for alcohol himself - as he was sure at least 90% of the hunters he had met over the years did. 

Still. Dean was chugging the stuff like he was a man lost in a desert who had just stumbled upon a pond of water.

He couldn’t deny he was getting worried when his brother’s hand reached for the fourth bottle. He quickly snatched the beer case out of his reach before he could think about it twice.

 

“Hey!”

Dean grumbled. His glare would have been intimidating had he not been drunk. Sam walked over to the mini fridge and stashed away what used to be a six-pack inside. At this rate he might actually have to put a lock on it.

“Dean,”

He started, pulling out the chair that lay across from his grumpy brother. He was very much aware of the way his own eyebrows tugged down in annoyance as he sat down. It was hard to hide the disappointment that was starting to announce itself in the back of his mind.

“Don’t give me that look.”

The younger hunter leaned back, feigning confusion.

 

“That judgy look.  _ I’m  _ the older brother, remember? You can’t, you can’t-”

Dean gave a little hic-up, his adam’s apple jumping with the sound.

“You just can’t, alright?”   
He finished, wiping his wet lips on the sleeve of his shirt. Sam’s mouth tugged at the corners when he looked away despite the rebellious way he spat out his last words.

“I’m not here to scold you. You have a right to be angry.”

He admitted.

 

Dean finally locked eyes with the pair of the sincere ones across from him. Sam caught him by surprise. He quickly covered it up with a loud cough though.

“Of course I do!”

The tall man nodded slowly in agreement, brushing a lock of his hair behind his nape to join the rest of his majestic mane.

“But..”   
Dean’s red eyes looked tired at the mention of the word, but at the same time they went bright with some anger, ready to spit flames if needed to.

 

Sam expected to be cut off before he could say the next sentence, but no sound left the older hunter’s lips. Maybe because they were stretched tight, the upper one covering the lower one in a firm hold. The pink flesh was whitening in the middle, where his teeth were sunk a little too deep. It looked kind of painful. Hopefully sharing his thoughts about the matter at hand would relieve some of that pain. Hopefully. 

“Have you considered that maybe the reason (Y\N) was acting the way she did is because she was… jealous?”   
  


Instead of looking any less bothered, Dean simply snorted.

“Right.”   
He was desperately missing his alcohol right about now.

“I’m serious! You know how much she loves you. Think about it from her point of view - Up until now she had you all to herself. Now she has to share.”   
Jealous, huh? He was no person to get jealous over. 

“Dean, come on. Put two and two together would you? What role do you think you’re filling in her life right now? And put your self loathing issues aside  _ please _ .”

 

Sam was practically begging him to think about it, and for once - he decided to listen.

The younger Winchester looked as numerous expressions changed on his brother’s face, until finally-

“Oh.”   
The look on Dean’s face was one of utter horror.

“But, I-I don’t know how to be a father!”

Sam burst out in laughter, almost falling back in his chair.

“It’s not funny!”   
He snapped. He was panicking so much that even the heavy influence of the alcohol was starting to wear off.

 

Dean got up and stumbled over to the cabinet where they stashed the stronger stuff.

“Oh no you don’t.”   
Sam announced, hurrying to block his way. 

“Sam. Move!”

The infuriating human wall in front of him didn’t budge.

“Dean, you  _ have  _ been a father to her. For the last _ six months _ , in fact. Just keep doing whatever it is you’ve been doing up until now. It’s that simple.”

 

_ “Simple.” _

The shorter hunter mumbled under his breath, which was coming out very quickly.  _ Too  _ quickly. His face had turned completely white, which was disturbingly impressive, considering how flushed it was just a few seconds ago as a result of the alcohol flowing in his veins.

The poor man looked like he was about to pass out.

“ _ Dude _ ,”

Sam was immediately by his side. He put his arm around his shoulder and dragged him over to the sofa, where he dropped down like a sack of potatoes.

 

“You ok?”

Sam asked as he straightened back up, trying to catch the man’s gaze. Dean was looking anywhere and everywhere, and at nothing at all. His eyes were unfocused.

“Come on man, you’ve always wanted a kid!”

Instead of replying to his brother’s attempt at cheering him up, the older hunter sagged back into the cushions like he was trying to become one with them.

“You like having her around.”

Sam stated, daring him to deny it. 

 

“I do.”

Dean agreed after a long sigh.

“You want to keep her safe. You want to make her happy.”

The giant continued, listing off two other facts that he could not deny.

“I do.”

Sam grinned at the almost defeated agreement in his brother’s voice. 

“Then what’s the problem?”   
Dean wanted to bang his head against the wall, glaring up at the amused expression on the taller man’s face.

 

“It’s not that simple and you  _ know  _ it.”

Sam shrugged.

“Name one thing in our lives that  _ is _ .”

______________________________________________________________________________

 

The two thousand and one points plan was now officially in motion, and for the first time today you could genuinely smile again. It seemed it was infectious, because Yuuki was grinning at you just as widely from across the table.

You were both sitting at a small coffee shop with your notebooks perched up against your pencil cases. You decided to bail on work today. 

“This is the best plan ever! We’re hitting two birds with one stone!”

Yuuki exclaimed cheerfully.

 

“Yeah, homework  _ and  _ getting on Dean’s good side? Doing well in school usually only gets me points from Sam.”   
You agreed, nodding your head in enthusiasm to the country song playing in the background.

Yuuki buried his head in his notebook for a while. It didn’t seem that his hand was moving though.

“Who did  _ you  _ pick as your hero?”

The assignment miss Green presented you with ahead of time was pretty simple. Pick someone you look up to, someone you think of as a hero, and write two full pages about them.

Obviously you had yours, but Yuuki seemed to be struggling.

 

“Hideaki Sorachi. That’s not the problem though.”

You vaguely remembered the name written on the back of a Gintama volume. You weren’t surprised that he picked him. Heck, the boy could barely shut up about his favorite manga, so the fact that he picked the person behind the masterpiece was not that weird.

“What’s the problem then?”   
You asked. You expected him to fill out the two pages without any problems.

Yuuki looked a little uncomfortable.

 

“Well… he’s a little nuts. I was thinking about adding quotes about him by his friends and co workers, but even they think he’s insane. I don’t want anyone to take it the wrong way when I read it in class.”

You snorted, making your friend look at you in confusion.

“Yuuki, his insanity is what makes him a genius. Don’t you think?”

The thin boy nodded.

The two of you found a quiet rhythm, your pens creating a calm symphony as they danced swiftly on the paper. You were immersed in your work, only peeking from behind your notebooks to exchange a couple of quick questions you had to one another.

 

You couldn’t believe how fast you filled these two pages. Everything just flowed and weaved together so well. At least a dozen completely different words attached themselves to the end of every sentence you put down. Your only real difficulty was choosing which ones to pick. 

And should you even be surprised? Just by writing ‘Dean is-’ about a hundred different words filled your head:

Kind. Protective. Loving. Caring. Funny. Hero. Amazing. Great. Awesome. Smart. Huggable (he would disagree). 

Mine. Mine. Mine.

Not Jasmine’s damn it!

 

You slammed your hands on the table in frustration, making Yuuki jump.

“Are you ok?”

You couldn’t explain the wave of sadness that washed over you. That weird doubt that settled at the back of your head that maybe your heart was hollow.

You missed him  _ so  _ much! The last week when he was always by Jasmine’s side felt like a  _ month _ . Even when you did get to talk to him without her around when she was out doing whatever, all you heard was Jasmine this and Jasmine that. It was always complements. Always praising.

He wasn’t even really looking at you when he was talking either - his eyes were focused on some perfect image conjured up inside of his head.

 

You felt betrayed. 

Here you were, working your ass off at that  _ stupid  _ shop with that  _ stupid  _ Bailey and that  _ stupid  _ Tristan, and that  _ stupid  _ cash register that never agreed with you, and that  _ stupid  _ pricing thingy that always got stuck, and those  _ stupid _ , bitter old ladies, and, and-

The more you were thinking about the more that  _ you  _ felt stupid.

Did he not miss you at all?   
_ “(Y\N),” _

Wet spots started to blotch up on the paper in front of you in black, angry smears, making your neatly written assignment hard to understand. Maybe a part of it was because your vision was a little blurry. 

 

“What’s wrong?”   
Yuuki’s dire tone made you lift your head up. You felt pathetic when you realized that these were tears that were messing with your eyesight.

“I-I,”

_ I want my Dean back! _ Your mind provided. Your childish, traitorous mind.

______________________________________________________________________________

 

Sam left his brother to sleep the alcohol off and settled down on the couch with his laptop. 

For an hour or so he did some research on the creature they were hunting, but after a while he finally came to the conclusion that his head simply wasn’t in it.

He was worried about (Y\N).

He tried to make the feeling go away by distracting himself with making coffee and walking around the bunker aimlessly, but nothing really worked.

Eventually he gave up and caved, tugging his phone out of his back pocket.

 

His fingers hovered over ‘Little Winchester’ in his contacts list, but after he gave it some thought he scrolled down some more, finding Elana’s number. He knew it was her day in. She could probably reassure him that her stubborn employee was doing ok. 

He quickly brought his phone to his ears, sitting down on the couch again.

“Sam! How are you doing? Been awhile since we talked.” 

The familiar, cheerful voice came through the speaker.

“Great, fine. How are you?”   
  


He asked politely, trying to keep his urgency back. Elana was nothing but kind and he owed her one too many favors.

“Same old, same old.”   
He waited impatiently as she talked with some customer on the other side of the line.

“I was wondering, how is (Y\N) doing? Does she seem ok?”   
The cat was out of the bag. He couldn’t hide his worry even if he wanted too, and Elena definitely noticed, because he could hear her heels hitting the floor quickly as she maneuvered herself to a quieter place.

 

“Is something wrong? Did something happen?”   
Sam sighed, not really in the mood to explain everything.

“Just… how is she doing?”

There was a short silence on Elena’s end.

“You mean generally? She doesn’t really like working here too much. Doesn’t exactly get along with some of the other employees.”

The hunter set his laptop on the coffee table in front of him before straightening up.

 

“Is she fighting with someone right now?!”   
He fingered the car keys though the denim of his jeans. When she came home a few days back with a healing blow to her nose, he had really hoped it was a one time thing.

“Wait. Right now? Sam, she didn’t come to work today. She said she was sick or something. I thought you knew…?”

The new information hit him like a heavy pile of bricks.

“I’m sorry, thank you for telling me. I gotta go.”   
He could distantly hear his friend’s worried voice asking him to wait, but he hung up before she had a chance to say anything else.

 

He quickly dialed (Y\N) number.

______________________________________________________________________________

 

Jasmine opened bunker’s door with the key Dean had given her when she moved in, fumbling with the zipper of her handbag that currently had one too many papers poking out of it. 

She made her way over to the mini fridge the boys religiously kept stocked, dying for a good bottle of beer or two, stopping briefly to read the note that Sam had left there. 

 

_ ‘Dean’s passed out in his room. I got him to stop drinking before he got himself an alcohol poisoning, but keep an eye on him would you?  _

_ Be back in an hour or so. _

_ -Sam’ _

 

It was attached to the white surface with a purplish, noticeably handmade ceramic magnet in a shape of a heart - obviously (Y\N)’s work, unless the two tough hunters she knew developed an interest in the arts and crafts over the years they were separated.

She felt bad for thinking the way she did, but for now Dean’s situation was really playing to her favor. She’d have no interruptions.

Jasmine swiftly grubbed the near-empty beer case from inside of the fridge and walked over to the sofa, sitting down and pulling out her newly acquired notes about their case.

_ Her  _ case.

______________________________________________________________________________

 

**“(Y\N)!”**

The sudden familiar voice stopped Yuuki and you just as you were about to leave the coffee shop.

It also confused you. It was usually Dean that had that angry tone in his voice whenever the two of you got into a fight, but this time it was definitely Sam.

Your friend tensed beside you as you turned to see the Giant making his way to you by shoving people out of his way none too gently. 

Yeah.. he was not a gentle giant at the moment. Just a.. Giant. A very scary, strong, furious looking giant.

 

“What the hell are you doing?!”   
Yuuki clutched at the sleeve of your shirt like a bashful child, doing his best to disappear into the curious crowd that was slowly starting to gather around you.

When you were within an arm’s distance from him you were pulled firmly closer to his heaving chest. He’s probably been running around for a while.

You gulped, looking up into his angry eyes.

“ _ (Y\N),  _ answer me. Why aren’t you at work right now? Why didn’t you tell me where you were going?”

 

You stood there quietly, feeling like your throat had some type of thick liquidy stuff jammed there. It was a sensation similar to the one you would get when you got sick and mucous started to gather. 

The look he was giving you made you forget how to talk.

“Do you have any idea how  _ worried  _ I was?”

You slowly shook your head. It wasn’t like you had a monster on your ass, to your knowledge at least. His concern seemed a tad bit exaggerated. How did he know you weren’t at work in the first place?   
  


“Come on. We’re going.”

Before you knew what was happening a strong hand fisted around your arm in a painful grip.

“Ow!”

You yelped. That was not like Sam at  _ all _ .

The pain lessened immediately as the hunter heard your cry. Now that  _ was _ like him, although he didn’t apologize like he normally would have.

Your eye caught Yuuki waving at you with a nervous frown as you were led outside.

 

The two of you walked in complete silence. Apparently Sam had parked a couple good blocks away from the coffee shop, so you had to endure the awkward atmosphere for much longer than you would have prefered.

You stopped in front of a traffic light, standing side by side, begging for the red to turn green so you could hurry up to the impala.

Sam kept glancing down at you with worry, until finally-

“You’re gonna get cold.”

You felt the zipper of your coat tugged upwards as the man let his protective instincts win. He made sure that it went as high as it could (making it a little hard to breath since it went tight around your neck), and then reached his hand behind your nape to grub the hood.

He pulled all of your hair to one side and then made sure it was sitting snugly over your head.

 

“There.”

You found it weirdly impressive how though the entire process he didn’t look you in the eye even once. It was a surprising show of stubbornness that you didn’t he possessed.

“Sam,”

You started,  but he interrupted you before you could voice your apology.

“I know that sometimes it’s easier to go to your friends with your problems, and I’m not saying you shouldn’t- it’s just, I kind of hoped that, you know,”

He let out a big whiff of air that colored the area in front of his mouth in warm, white waves.

“Why didn’t you talk to  _ me? _ ” 

 

His nose looked red, and for a second there you could notice the same color emerging on his cheeks, trailing down his neck where it met with his warm sweater.

You looked at your boot clad feet. They were both curled inwards towards each other and looked pretty tiny compared to Sam’s a few centimeters away from yours.

“My problems are… well they are so small. You and Dean face monsters almost every day. It’s your  _ job. _ It’s… Jasmine’s job too. It felt wrong talking with you about my dumb jealousy problems.”

You barely got the word ‘jealousy’ out, and you definitely cringed as you did.

 

Finally, Sam met your eyes, a small smile climbing to his lips.

“You really shouldn’t feel bad about it. You’re not the first girl to have ‘Dumb jealousy problems’ over my brother. “

You felt your own cheeks warming at the implication. 

“Seriously though. Next time please talk to me, ok?”   
You nodded ok, and got your hand gently squeezed in return.

“Come on, let’s go.”   
You  had to admit - you actually felt a little sad when the traffic light had turned green.

______________________________________________________________________________

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you guys think? Next chapter is already in the making, so don't worry. You'll get your (Y\N)\Dean reunion soon ;)


	28. My Hero - by (Y\N) Winchester

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited chapter is finally here guys! Sorry it took me so long. I made it extra long to make it up to you :)  
> Enjoy~

Instead of bringing you back home as you expected him to, Sam parked the Impala near a small bakery with windows lined with vintage-looking curtains, both pulled away to the sides to reveal a delicious variety of baked goods inside.

When you asked him about it he simply led you out of the car by hand, keeping in place the same warm smile he adopted when you explained to him the reasons behind your foul mood.

“Well look who it is. Good to see you Sam! What can I do for you?”

A fifty-ish year old woman with brown hair and deep laugh lines around her slightly chapped lips popped her head from behind the wooden counter.

 

The hunter pulled you over to one of the tall chairs that were lined up in front of it. He made sure you were seated comfortably before giving your hair a light ruffle and facing the woman again.

“Good to see you too Rosaline.” 

He started fondly, looking like he belonged there completely. 

For a second there there you could almost imagine a lanky looking teen with long hair and a backpack full of textbooks bursting through the glass doors, slumping down on the chair next to you and ordering a pie for his brother, hoping to cheer him up after a tough hunt.

 

The image made your heart so mushy that you were willing to bet that if there was a way to test the consistency of it, the fluffy lemon cake showcased on the top left corner of the counter would stand no chance against it.

“We’ll have two slices of apple pie please.”

The woman gave him a knowing look as she opened the round, see through cake display and quickly freed your dinner out of it’s glass cage with one of those icing spatulas you always saw people using on the cooking channel. 

She pulled out two white plates with floral print lining the edges and set the pies down in front of you.

 

“I take it that brother of yours is still causing trouble wherever he goes?”   
Sam only chuckled, picking up the silver spoon that was laid down in front of him.

“Eat, sweetie.”

‘Rosaline’ urged you, her fingers nudging your plate closer to you. You watched the giant next to you devouring his own slice with vigor, little crumbs covering his mouth. Usually it was Dean who ate like a glutton, not minding who was looking (Unless it was Jasmine apparently..). Sam on the other hand, was all manners and graceful movements.

 

“So what is her connection to you? You’re not the type to knock someone up and then forget about it, and I refuse to believe that your brother would do something like that himself.”

You froze with your spoon halfway to your mouth. 

“Even Dean and his sexcapades have their limit.”

Sam picked up his glass and took a long sip of water, looking unabashed and calm as he shrugged his shoulders.

“We found her on a hunt. She lost everything. We couldn't leave her there.”

He provided, giving you a sideways glance that had a little bit of worry mixed into it.

“Right.”

 

Rosaline’s tone was somewhat skeptic as she reached for a wet towel to clean the counter with it.

“And how long ago was that exactly?”   
Sam brought the rim of his glass to his lips again. This time he looked like he was stalling. Trying to think of a way to change the subject. 

Eventually though, he couldn’t take the woman’s raised eyebrow and just blurted out the answer sudden and fast, like ripping a bandage off.

“Almost six months.”

 

The baker’s eyes widened as she ceased all movement and proceeded to stare at him like he was the weirdest creature she ever saw, which was pretty impressive all on it’s own since the fact that Sam didn’t hide the details of why they took you in meant that she had probably seen some things in her life herself.

You got just as uncomfortable as the hunter when the woman switched her intense eyes over to you.

 

You watched different emotions replace each other in the lines creasing around her eyes. 

The ones that eventually won out, after a few  _ very  _ long seconds, were confusion and worry. That being said, it was rather surprising to watch both of those slide smoothly back to the farthest area of her mind, as if they had never seen the the light of day. (or the light that the dim ceiling lamps gave to make up for the loss of the sinking sun outside.)

Stealing their place was, strangely enough - amusement.

Rosaline was  _ smiling _ .

 

The woman gently set the wet towel aside, hanging it on the handle of one of the larger ovens she had behind the counter.

She then grabbed a light blue colored mug from a shelf and set it to the side, flicking the on button on some type of a machine that you couldn’t completely see due to a tall tower of chocolate cookie gift boxes. 

“Poor girl.”

She muttered softly while pulling a milk carton seemingly out of nowhere and tilting it into a silver, heating cup.

 

“Hey!”   
Sam defended loudly, but there was no real anger to it. If he actually meant it to have any kind of impact he would have waited for a reaction instead of thrusting his now empty plate forward in demand of more apple pie, you concluded. Rosaline swiped it away with a huff and a somewhat fond roll of her eyes.

They had an interesting way of communicating. Almost as weird as the way Sam communicated with his brother.

Feeling ridiculously behind, you picked up your own spoon.

 

“Here, warm yourself up.”

The same mug you saw her pull out before was laid down in front of you, now surrounded by soft clouds of steam, making your cold nose twitch. You leaned over the mystery beverage from the mystery machine with curiosity. 

“It’s hot chocolate.”

Rosaline informed you with a chuckle that made blood surge to the tips of your ears.   
From the corner of your eye, you could see Sam looking at you with scarcely hidden envy.

 

“Umm.. how do you two know each other?”   
You asked soon after your lips closed around a small slice of pie. You marveled at the taste, accidently letting a quiet (but not quiet enough) moan that made the woman in front of you smile proudly and the man beside you choke on his second serving.

“I knew his mom, Mary. Back when she was still in the hunting business, that is.”

Sam seemed smaller all of a sudden, hunched over his slice of pie like he was wondering if it were possible to switch roles - if maybe the pie could eat him instead.

 

“After she… passed, he found me. Somehow. I don’t even know who he got my information from,”

The last couple of words were definitely said as a bit of an accusation, and you could see Sam’s shoulders tensing a little.

“He was around 15 back then, I think. And he wouldn’t leave me alone - always asking questions or going on and on about his older brother and his dad. I was pregnant with my first boy at the time, and he almost made me consider an abortion. I mean, if that’s what having kids was gonna be like…”   
The hunter sunk into his chair, looking like a scolded child, even though there was nothing discourteous about her tone. Only after observing him a little longer did you notice that there was nothing pained about his expression either. They were just fond of exaggerating, apparently. 

 

“Are you.. Still hunting?”   
Rosaline’s nostalgic smile faltered a little, just a little. There was hurt in the tense muscles around her lips, but then there was also acceptance. You knew the answer you would get before she actually had to say anything.

“Once a hunter, always a hunter.”

She provided in an almost casual way.

“Your children too?”   
Sam sent you a sharp look that indicated that you were being insensitive, but the woman made him cower back with a glare, shutting him up before he dared open his mouth.

 

“My older one does.”

She answered. It didn’t seem like a bad thing when she said it. In fact, her lips were tilted up in a proud smile. It was only when she continued that a more bitter emotion crossed her eyes.

“My younger one too… I’ve tried to keep him out of it. He’s only 17 you know, and he’s already reminding me of his late father.”

You kept your mouth shut this time. You had no idea how to reply without somehow offending her, even if she looked like someone who wasn’t easy to offend. She was too nice to risk it.

 

“He’s a good kid.”

Sam concluded out loud, his eyes meeting with Rosaline’s over the counter. The smile that came along with it was genuine. On both ends. You wondered what that kid of hers was like.

As if on cue, you heard a door opening loudly from behind the ovens. There must be another room there, perhaps it was where she kept the rest of her baking equipment, you decided.

Two sets of footsteps pounded into the floor, one quick and excited, and one slower, like it belonged to a more collected, calm individual.

 

A guy in his mid twenties emerged from behind the cluttered shelves that Rosaline’s body was partially hiding. His straight, unmoving eyebrows hinted that the second set of footsteps were his own, despite the fact that they were more far apart and devoid of any of the urgency that the first set possessed. 

He had a pair of kind eyes that greeted you without really saying anything. They looked like they belonged to someone at least over forty years old. There was a lot of wisdom in them.

“Leo! We were just talking about you,”

Rosaline announced with a wide smile as her son leaned down to peck her on the cheek.

 

You looked at the exchange with a smile of your own. 

“Mom!”

You jumped in your seat at the familiar voice, the spoon you were holding up until now falling out of your hands.

Sam gave you a puzzled look as you slid down from your chair to pick it up. If you were being honest with yourself though, you diving under the counter had nothing to do with retrieving the lost utensil. You were just hiding, because this voice you were hearing cheerfully greeting Rosaline and Leo was one you were definitely not expecting nor wishing to hear.

 

“Tristan!”

______________________________________________________________________________

 

“What’re you reading?”

Dean’s slurred voice nearly made Jasmine’s heart shoot out of her chest. She slammed her page holder closed.

There was a distinct heat - body heat radiating from behind her shoulder, and she didn’t know how she didn’t notice it earlier. There was also the strong stench of alcohol and the shuddering sensation of hot breath near her ear.

“Oh, nothing interesting. Just some notes on an old case.”   
  


She hated herself for lying to the man more than anything, but the excuse she gave him was not all that bad. It  _ was  _ an old case, after all. She took a deep breath and turned around, fixing a wide smile in the place where a frown lay just a minute ago.

Strong fingers weaved themselves through her hair, massaging her scalp, and she let out a moan of relief. 

Dean always knew when she was stressed. He also knew just  _ how  _ to  _ rid  _ her of said stress.

She waited with a breath stuck in her throat, for what - she didn’t know. Her chest compressed, her stomach clenched, and she almost laughed at her own insane thoughts when a slight concern for the butterflies in it arose. 

Because it very much felt like there  _ were  _ butterflies in her stomach and they  _ were  _ getting crushed.

 

“Come on. Put that thing aside. You always  _ were  _ a workaholic.”

The content sigh she let out awarded her a deep chuckle and another wave of hot breath against her ear.

Strong arms caressed her shoulders, intent on driving her problems away. Which wasn’t really necessary, just having Dean’s arms  _ anywhere  _ was enough to distract a devout nun.

_ “Let me take care of you.” _

 

Good gods that velvety voice of his should be illegal.

______________________________________________________________________________

 

Rosaline’s enthusiastic greeting was a little more than her son deserved in your opinion. Her  _ son _ . How could someone that nice create someone so…  _ frustrating _ .

You gulped when you felt Sam’s big hand gripping the back of your coat, pulling you half way up in a way that had you still hidden from the family reunion taking place on the other side of the counter, and yet close enough to his searching eyes.

You didn’t know how, but the hunter had once again realized your state of distress.He gave you a questioning look, but even if you did want to answer him - you couldn’t, for one too many reasons. 

“We have guests. How old is your girl there Sammy? And-”

 

Rosaline’s voice stopped short, and you could almost imagine her tilting her head in confusion.

You looked up at Sam nervously, cursing yourself for your childish actions.

You held up your hand in the air.

“Sorry, right here, I just dropped my spoon.”

You tried to say it as quietly as you could, but within two seconds a  _ very  _ familiar face popped out above you.

It took Tristan less than a fraction of a second to change his expression from surprised to happy, a wide, mirth filled smirk practically jumping to his lips. 

His blue eyes were sparkling with mischief, looking bold and prominent against the mess of dark brown curls that were covering his forehead.

 

“(Y\N)!”   
He exclaimed, looking genuinely pleased with the current turn of events. You glared back at him, counting on the fact that his mother couldn’t see your face at the moment. 

Ignoring your obvious annoyance, the guy reached his hand forwards to grab yours, and you never hated yourself more for not lowering it down in time.

He pulled you up to your feet with a quick movement of his wrist. You felt like you were lighter than a feather, and that was weirdly annoying at the moment.

“You two already know each other?”   
Rosaline asked as she watched you retake your seat begrudgingly. She was giving Sam a look of betrayal. 

Well, not a Morgana plotting to take the throne from her father  the king of Camelot kind of betrayal, but betrayal nonetheless. 

The tall hunter passed that exact look on to you, and like dominos all of a sudden all eyes in the room were on you. You cursed Tristan as loud as you could in the confinements of your mind.

 

“Of course we know each other!”

The teen exclaimed, wrapping a caging arm around you until you were held tightly against his side, desperately wanting to break free but not brave enough to do so in front of everyone.

You could see Sam zooming in on the exact spot where his hand was gripping your coat.

“Bailey introduced us.”

You barely held back from huffing in disbelief.

 

_ Yes. That's exactly how it happened. _

Tristan noticed your expression. Noticed it and laughed at it, his eyebrow raising, and then the asshole gave you a mocking grin.

“Maybe that little punk is good for something after all.”

Sam barked out a laugh, showing his complete agreement with the bakery owner, probably remembering your once briefly half broken nose.

You couldn’t help the smile settling over your lips.

_ Yeah! Take that Bailey! _

 

“She’s not a punk!”   
The strong vibration against your shoulder and the all of a sudden missing arm around it made you glance up, watching with curious eyes as Tristan showed emotion that for once wasn’t his usual douchebaggery.

Rosaline didn’t seem too intimidated. If anything she was shaking her head almost in pity.

“You’re too good of a person. No one else would do what you’re doing for her.”

Your eyes traveled down, stopping on a fisted hand that was whitening from how shrunken into itself it was, and for once when you tried to catch the boy’s gaze you failed miserably. 

 

All of a sudden he turned around and stormed out of the door, leaving you wide eyed and, you didn’t want to admit it - but a little worried too.

Rosaline let out a tired sigh, frowning after him. She exchanged a long look with her eldest.

“It’s getting late,”

Sam was up before she had to politely ask you to leave. He pulled you to his side with a hand on your left cheek, ruffling your hair and then making sure to fix the hood of your coat over your head properly.

He reached his hand into the pocket of his jeans to pull out his wallet, but Rosaline stopped him before he could complete the action.

 

“On the house.”

“But-”

“But nothing. I got my payment when (Y\N) there had her first foodgasm.”

You let the two talk as you watched the door still flung agape. 

_ Where is he going at this hour? What was he doing for Bailey? Why was he so upset? _

 

_ Why do I even care? _

Something must be seriously wrong with you.

______________________________________________________________________________

 

Dean woke up slow and peaceful and warm and so completely  _ relaxed _ .  

And heavy. He felt heavy. In a good way though - grounded. 

The soft purring of Jasmine’s electrical heater warmed up the room just enough, allowing them to stay bare under the covers despite the weather wreaking havoc outside.

The blankets wrapped unevenly around their bodies created a little bubble where all he could hear was her soft breathing and all he could feel was her naked back against his chest.

 

The dainty bedroom lamp she brought with her when she moved in illuminated her skin in colors of orange and yellow, and he allowed himself to trace it with his fingers, just as he had done earlier when he laid her down on the bed, kissing and sucking and messing up her hair and her makeup and her ability to walk normally for the next couple of days.

 

He couldn’t remember the last time he felt the way he did now. So connected to another human being. So in tune - hearts beating together, bodies molded into one another like two parts of a whole.

He cringed at his own thoughts. Badly. He was  _ not  _ about to have a chick flick moment after everything they just did together.

He cast a smug look at the floor where their clothes were piled up messily, reminding himself how fast he undone her bra and how agonizingly  _ slow  _ she took off his jeans.

Somewhere between almost breaking the headboard and rendering her newly bought sheets no longer usable, he realized that it was  _ her  _ taking care of  _ him  _ and not the other way around.

 

He didn’t think of (Y\N)  _ once  _ since he found his old flame reading quietly on the sofa. 

But now, in the silence of the room, he found himself diving into the subject once again, only this time he didn’t feel like he was drowning. 

His role in the kid’s life had always been unclear. Mostly because it kept changing. 

At first he was simply the scary man who found her curled under her bed after she lost her family, but as time passed he turned into the not so scary man who took her in, and then the not scary at all man who became somewhat of a big brother to her, and then the very  _ scared  _ man who realized he had unknowingly adopted a daughter.

 

Next to his chest Jasmine rolled around in her sleep, entangling her legs further with his, pressing her body closer - as if telling at him that they were together now and that she wanted  _ in.  _

His breath jumped to his throat when he realized something:

_ This right here, in this exact moment, is the closest I’ll ever get to having a real family. _

 

He closed his eyes before any tears managed to slip out. The last thing he needed was Jasmine waking up and thinking that he was one of those men who cried after sex.

He suddenly didn’t feel so grounded at all. His body felt like it was filled with helium, and he tightened his grip around his girlfriend’s waist, holding himself to her as tightly as he could without risking waking her up.

Great. Now he was crying after sex  _ while  _ having a chick flick moment, and to top it all off - He was a  _ cuddler  _ too.

 

_ Just great. _

______________________________________________________________________________

 

The road back to the bunker was smooth, no ups or downs, no stones sticking out from under the wheels to distract Sam from his quickly spiking curiosity.

(Y\N) was obviously hiding something. Something that was troubling her enough to make her little nose scrunch up as she looked outside the window.

He had hoped that by taking her out to eat she would cheer up some, but the moment Tristan had walked in, her whole demeanor changed.

He had known the kid since he was just a toddler throwing food out of his plate and emptying entire shampoo bottles inside of the tub.

 

Tristan had always been a trouble maker. He was mischievous, energetic, and would stop at nothing to make his little pranks work. Leo was the one who suffered from them the most, and Sam had a theory that the reason the elder brother always looked so emotionless was because he had no f***’s left to give. 

 

Despite his difficult personality though - the seventeen year had good heart and a caring nature.

He still remembered the way his eyes widened and shined with wonder when Dean told him about a case he'd been working.

He had sworn then that he'd be an even better hunter, to which his childish brother retorted with a ‘Keep dreaming kid’ and then proceeded to capture his head under his armpit and ruffle his hair roughly.

 

“Hey Sam..?”

The hunter met the girl’s eyes in the mirror. The worry hadn't eased from her chubby features (a constant reminder of her young age), and a pink blush covered her cheeks. He raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah?”

She cast her eyes downwards, her fingers nervously tugging at the fabric of her coat.

“What did Tristan do for Bailey?”

 

Sam leaned back, one hand on the wheel and the other thrown over to the back of the empty seat at his side. The car halted to a stop, the street light stopping on red.

He hesitated for a moment..

“Around a year ago he was working this case with his brother. His first case.”

(Y/N) straightened up, her hands clutching at her seat. 

“Rosaline tried to keep him out of it - Leo too. He was too young. It was too dangerous.”

Sam sighed, turning the wheel and maneuvering the Impala to a different road. They were almost home.

“He wouldn't hear any of it. That's Tristan for you - once his mind is set on something nothing will stop him.”

 

“It went bad. They... miscalculated. Out of everyone in her family, only Bailey and her mother survived.”

Sam parked the car in the bunker’s driveway, next to an old motorbike that was there before they made the place their base. The engine stopped, and he let the quiet surround them.

“They were a family of eight. He never forgave himself. He kept saying that Dean would never let something like that happen. It really took a toll on him.”

(Y\N) furrowed her eyebrows, looking even more worried than before.  _ Can’t I do anything right? _

 

“Anyways, ever since then he never left Bailey alone. I guess they grew too close to each other to stay just friends.”

In an attempt to bring a smile to her face he quickly added:

“Obviously those events changed her, but the bit about being a punk - that never changed.”   
Her lips stayed as they were, pressed together in a horizontal line that did not dare bend upwards even an eighth of a millimeter.

 

“I had no idea..”

She murmured. She felt guilty. It was written all over her forehead.  _ For what though? _

Sam wrecked his brain for an answer, finally coming to the conclusion that it most likely had to do with their recent fight. 

“Hey, how about we put that aside for now. Don’t you have more pressing matters you need to be focusing on right now?”

 

The hunter have never seen the girl react so fast. Her eyes went wide before she shoved her hands down her backpack and started rummaging around nervously, throwing her pencil case and a handful of pages out in the process.

 

She pulled out a blue notebook with an immense sigh of relief, holding it in the air like it was a newborn baby and gripping it tightly to her chest. Then she nodded to herself, making Sam smile in amusement.

_ “Two thousand and one. Two thousand and one. I can do it!” _

The numbers she counted under her breath meant nothing to him.  _ Weird kid. _

“Come on.”

The hunter stepped out, closing the door after him gently. Dean would kill him if treated his baby roughly, as ridiculous as it sounded.

 

(Y\N) scuttled after him, her boots making a muddy mess on the garage floor. He made himself a mental note to buy a mat before the whole place got covered in footprints.

______________________________________________________________________________

 

Dean threw a glance at his watch. 20:35 in the evening. So they haven’t slept for  _ that  _ long.

He carefully untangled himself out of the bed, tucking the blankets around a still sleeping Jasmine with an unnecessary amount of care.

He picked his discarded pair of Jeans from the floor and pulled them on, not bothering with a shirt or even zipping them up. It was more comfortable that way anyways.

He quietly tiptoed out of the room and made his way to the kitchen, a plan starting to form in his mind.

 

He cast a look around, his eyes jumping from cabinet to cabinet. He was pretty sure they still had muffins left. And milk - he really hoped they didn’t run out of milk, otherwise he couldn't make her hot chocolate.

_ And strawberries. She always loved strawberries. _

He walked around, first retrieving the vanilla muffins from where he hid them (Sam would have them thrown out before he and (Y\N) managed to come up with a promising counter case to ‘It's not healthy’.), and then gathering the rest.

He even found a bottle of whipped cream that he had no idea they had. He didn’t remember buying it, which meant that (Y\N) slipped it in without telling Sam, or him for that matter.

 

The hunter stopped by the dining table, suddenly feeling a very intense sense of loss. He really missed those big eyes looking up at him, which was silly - he didn’t see the kid for only one day.

His heart wasn’t buying it though. His heart was insisting that he was wrong, that he didn’t add up their hours apart correctly. Stupid heart.

Letting out a sigh, he laid everything down in front of him, arranging the muffins on a plate and busying himself with spraying the whipped cream on top.

He was about to start cutting the strawberries when something caught his eye.

Jasmine’s notes.

______________________________________________________________________________

 

You made your way to the front door, almost skipping, waiting impatiently for Sam to open the door.

The two of you froze in place as soon as he did. Dean and Jasmine were  _ screaming  _ at each other.  _ Loudly _ . 

You turned to the younger of the brothers, exchanging a worried look as you stood and listened, not daring to set a foot inside.

“Why didn’t you tell me, huh? I trusted you!”

Dean’s angry voice made shivers go down your spine.

 

“I  _ would  _ have told you, eventually!”

There was but a second before the angry hunter yelled back.

“When?! Before or after you died trying to take revenge? I know how this works Jasmine! I have my entire childhood to blame for it!”   
“You don’t own me Dean. Do  _ not _ tell me what I can and can’t do. I know what I’m doing.”

Jasmine’s voice was quieter than Dean’s, but something in the tone she used was much deadlier. You could tell that she was more than furious.

 

“I’m not asking a whole lot here. I think ‘please don’t lie to me’ isn’t a very big request!”

“I didn’t lie!”

“Might as well have!”

“Argh, you’re impossible!”

Jasmine’s footsteps were getting closer and closer to where you stood, and before you could think about it you were yanked aside and out of the way as the frustrated woman stormed out, clutching her bag so tight that the skin on her fingers began to whiten.

You thanked Sam with a squeeze of the hand still covering your shoulder.

Slowly,  _ very  _ slowly, you stepped inside, staying impossibly close to the tall hunter at your side.

You were kind of scared of what you were going to find inside, and for once it wasn't Dean's anger that scared you. It was his  _ pain. _

 

-And it was his  _ pain _ you found.

The hunter’s shoulders were slouched down, his head lowered, his back bent. He looked like an oat stalk that withered, all green and dying before it’s time.

Kind of like his relationship with Jasmine.

He was perched up against the back of the sofa, trying to gain some stability, but tying a withered crop to a stick wasn’t going to do anything.

“Dean,”

You started, approaching him like you would a hurt animal. You didn’t want him to run away before you had the chance to determine the severity of his wounds.

 

Dean flickered his eyes up to meet yours for a second, before lowering them back down and turning around, leaving you to stare at his tense shoulders.

“Not now.”

He spit, probably trying to sound harsh. He was doing a terrible job at it though. 

You had a feeling, no - you  _ knew _  that Sam was weighing down his options. He hated not knowing what was going on with his brother, but the last thing he was intending to do was upsetting him further.

_ So, what’s the verdict going to be? _

“I’m gonna hit the bed. I've had a long day.”

 

The taller hunter announced. Before he started making his way to the hallway though, he leaned down a little to your level.

“You should do the same.”

You frowned, crossing your hands in front of you. You weren’t gonna leave Dean in his current condition, no matter how much he would probably fight you for it.

“Dean.”   
You said again, this time making sure your tone was a little firmer. Less debatable. 

You needed to know what happened.

 

You made your way over to the sofa, stopping only when you were directly in front of him.

“(Y\N)... just.. Go to sleep, alright? It’s late.”   
He picked up a bottle of beer from the coffee table, dodging your attempt at grabbing his hand.

He slumped down on the cushions, splashing some of the liquid around in the process.

A strong stench of alcohol hit your nose. He was positively  _ reeking  _ of it.

Your mom used to drink. Her battle with alcohol was a battle she lost. She used to say she was outnumbered. That there was only one of her, and an endless amount of bottles in her fridge.

You would tell her then that she was self destructive. She was inviting her enemy into her home. What did she expect?

 

You couldn’t help her, and it made you angry at the time. 

Now you knew why though. You had figured it out. Alcohol wasn’t her real enemy. Her real enemy was your father.

You looked at Dean, at the way he absentmindedly bit down on his lower lip. You watched in worry as a trail of red liquid started to make it’s way down his chin, mixing with his drink and gathering in the collar of his shirt.

Dean’s enemy was himself.

You snatched the bottle out of his hand before you could regret it.

 

The hunter shut his eyes tightly, his breaths leaving him in a manually slow way. He was obviously trying to calm himself down.

_ “(Y\N)...” _

He made for the bottle again, but this time you were prepared. You tucked it behind your back and made your way over to the kitchen in steps that started out small and hesitant and turned into a full blown run towards the end as the furious man chased after you.

You braced yourself on the kitchen sink, throwing a glance behind you before you poured all of the beer inside.

  
  


Dean let out a frustrated scream and shoved you aside, picking up the now empty bottle and turning it on it’s head to see no liquid left inside.

Grunting, he stumbled over to a cabinet to his left, but you quickly placed yourself in front of it.

“Dean. What happened?”   
You begged, trying to catch his eyes. His eyes which were blurry and unfocused and momentarily covered up by his fingers, half digging into the skin - half wiping it furiously as he tried to steady his stance.

_ “Please.” _

 

As if completely defeated Dean plopped down on the cold floor, his hands quickly aiding his head in staying upright. It almost seemed like it’s gotten heavier.

You crouched down in front of him, grabbing his right hand around the wrist and pulling it into your lap, your other hand supporting his head in place of the one you took.

This time he didn’t resist, just sat there quietly, his world probably spinning around him. He had drunk a  _ lot _ . The empty bottles on the coffee table were proof of that.

 

You angled his head up, gripping his hand in yours, hoping it would help him to focus.

“Jasmine, she knew already. She was after it all that time we spent apart.”

You nodded, even though you had no idea what he was talking about. Your first priority was to just get him to talk.

“That… thing. It killed Matt. It killed her husband.”

 

_ Jasmine was married?! _

Your mouth formed the shape of an ‘O’.

“She's just like my dad. She can't let go. It'll get her  _ killed. _ ”

You swallowed, feeling your heart rate quicken. Dean never talked about his father.  _ Never _ . 

You've tried asking. Once.  _ Stupidly.  _ You've never seen the man close up faster, and the silence he gave you after was deadly. Much scarier than his yells. You never attempted it again.

 

“She  _ lied _ to me, or hid it from me.”

The way he said ‘hid’ was laced with sarcasm and pain, and a particularly strong whiff of alcohol warmed the hand that was still holding up his head.

He blinked a couple of times, trying to clear his eyes from the wet, sticky substance gathering under his eyelids.

Your fingers felt wet too, but the mix of sweat and beer already sliding down his sharp jaw didn’t exactly help you figure out its source.

 

“I'm so  _ stupid.” _

Dean sighed, his free hand messing up his hair as he dug his nails into his scalp. You snatched it into your lap like the first, feeling the urge to bite your own lip till you managed to draw some blood just like he did before. 

“Dean, stop it.”

“Stop what?”

You had to stop yourself from yelling out your frustration at him. You knew he was beating himself up again. It was so  _ misplaced _ . He didn't deserve that amount of self loathing.

 

It was then that you realized that your backpack was still sitting snugly over your shoulders.

You gently pried your hands away from his, noticing how much they've tightened around yours without either of you realizing.

Tugging a strand of hair behind your ear, you focused on pulling out your blue notebook with slightly shaky hands.

 

“ _ My Hero -  by (Y/N) Winchester _ .”

If you thought your hands were shaky before, you were unbelievably misinformed. Your voice was on a completely other level. On a whole different planet.

It was weak, and stuttery, and breathless  _ and  _ shaky. 

It was on the verge of breaking down into a mix of excuses and ‘sorry’s and ‘I'm not a great writer so..’s.

Needless to say, you were more than a little nervous when Dean finally raised his eyes up in curiosity.

 

“ _ I know a lot of you probably chose a known scientist or a popular actor. You had to do your research: _

_ -When were they born? _

_ -What kind of achievements did they gather over the years? _

- _ What can you learn from them? _

_ -What do you love most about them?” _

You took a deep breath, willing your voice to stay steady, willing your tongue to pronounce each word without slurring it, willing your lungs to pump out enough air for you to complete each sentence. 

Willing your eyes to meet Dean’s, despite how embarrassed it made you. 

It was necessary.

 

“ _ I didn’t have to. I carry the answer to these questions with me anywhere I go.  _

_ -Dean Winchester, born on January 24, 1979. _

_ -Makes the best cheeseburgers in the states. Saved the world. Twice. Raised an amazing little brother who would vouch for everything I’m saying and about to say.” _

Your chest constricted as you ran your eyes over the next line, and you had to physically concentrate on keeping your gaze aligned with the surprised hunter before you.

“- _ Saved me. Picked up the pieces and mended everything back together again. Found pieces I thought I’d lost forever and made sure they were back in their correct place.” _

 

You found your voice quivering anyways. You closed your eyes for a second, trying to calm yourself down. You felt nervous like you were on the verge of making a life changing decision, happy like you were in Disneyland, and breathless like you had just ran a marathon.

“- _ I learned how to trust people again thanks to him. I learned to rely on others. I learned that it is ok to be different. _ ”

Dean gripped your shoulders all of a sudden, and you didn’t know whether the action was meant to strengthen you so you could stop shaking, or to ground himself, lean against something so he could continue looking at you without averting his eyes.

 

“- _ I love his bad sense of humor. I love his ‘My Strange Addiction’ esque infatuation with his car. I love that he spends so much time on his work, but then still manages to squeeze in a furious phone call to the school’s secretary, demanding they’d give him the numbers of all the Adams in my school, because one of them was mean to me.  _

_ I love that he let me take care of a pup even after he peed all over his favorite jeans. I love that he sneaks me chocolate bars whenever his brother isn’t looking. I love that he always sees the best in me, that he’s always there for me, accepting me as I am.  _

_ Lov-” _

 

“I love you.”

All of a sudden you were crushed against Dean’s warm chest, held tightly with one hand around your waist, and another pressing your head into the crook of his neck. He pushed his chin into your hair, moving only to plant a long kiss on the crown of your head.

Your cheek was rubbing against a wet surface. Wet and sticky and scruffy - but you weren’t complaining.

Your heart was beating  _ so  _ loud.  _ So  _ damn loud. Dean’s was pounding the same way. 

Because he just said it. 

He loves you.

 

You stayed that way for a while, just sitting there on the kitchen floor. The alcohol was forgotten, and you let yourself believe that some of his pain was too. You let yourself bask in the glory of making him feel just a little better. Engraved it into your brain. 

It was not something that you were usually good at. In fact - up until now you felt like all you were doing was making him sad. Disappointing him. Hurting him.

“I don’t have a bad sense of humor.”

The childish remark barely reached your ear because of how quiet it was muttered.

 

“You really do, Dean. It’s surprising you don’t have any kids, because sometimes I feel like the term ‘Dad jokes’ was invented specifically for you.”

As soon as the sentence left your lips the arms around you pulled you back so that the hunter could look down at you with soft eyes. He wore a very wide smile, so wide that the lines around his mouth looked like they were stretched to their limits and beyond.

“But I  _ do  _ have a kid, (Y\N).”

Your eyes widened. 

“You do?”   
You glared at him after he bonked you on the back of your head. Granted, it was gentle. Still..

 

“Of course I do. Haven’t you heard of her? She wrote that amazing piece. What is it called?”

You tilted your head to the side, much to his amusement.

“I think it’s called ‘My Hero’.”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you guys think? A lot happened in this chapter, and I'd absolutely love to hear your opinions on everything!


	29. I think you broke him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter might induce teeth rotting.  
>  -Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the super long wait guys! I had a massive writer's block and a tons of other projects that I'm working on.  
> I made it extra long and extra fluffy to compensate.  
> ~Enjoy

 

Dean sat by the  war table with a mug of hot coffee and stared at (Y\N)’s notebook. He knew she was looking for it, but for some odd reason he wasn’t especially keen on returning it to the kid just yet.

His lips curved upwards when his eyes read over the last couple of sentences once again. They were scribbled down messily, almost unreadable - in a complete contrast to the rest of the assignment which was written so neatly.

He could almost feel the frustration that coursed through the poor pen when it was pressed into the abused paper.

 

_ “Mine. Mine. Mine. _

_ Not Jasmine’s damn it!” _

He didn’t think she intended on including it as part of the final project. She probably didn’t even notice she was scribbling it down. 

Nevertheless - It was there, and suddenly all of her rude comments and bratty behaviour made sense. Sam  _ was  _ right when he said she was jealous, and he was definitely going to tease her about it later. 

 

“Dean, you coming?”

Sam’s voice echoed over to him from the hallway, his tone nagging and impatient. 

As always.  

 

“You know, I don’t get you sometimes.”

The older man started, turning back to see his brother emerging from behind the table, wearing his thick, khaki winter jacket. The collar of his plaid shirt popped out from under the zipper.

“The  _ one  _ advantage we got here is that we can’t actually come in  _ late _ for work. That’s like the  _ only  _ good thing about being a hunter - not having anyone bossing you around.”

 

The giant rolled his eyes and thrusted his hands down on the table in front of Dean, making it wobble a little.

“Dean. Get. Up. We need to get going.”

The hunter huffed, the corners of his lips attempting a free fall down the sides of his face.

_ Never mind then.  _

He pushed down on the handles of his chair, gulping down the rest of his coffee a little too quickly and wincing slightly from the burn.

 

He found himself grabbing his own jacket in a hurry, watching Sam already stepping foot out of the bunker.

“Would you wait up? What crawled up your ass this morning?”

He called after him, digging his hand into the fur-lined pocket. 

_ Why is it so damn cold?! _

The weather outside slapped at his face, the impact so harsh that he almost wanted to start throwing punches back into the air. Instead, he locked the door after himself and stuffed the key next to his slowly ( _ very slowly _ ) warming hand.

 

The road before them, normally long and stretched out into the distance was now so foggy that they could barely see even a few meters forwards. It was like someone picked up an eraser and erased every detail the scenery used to hold. 

The trees were only half-painted, the ground nearly faded, the sky too white - like an abandoned coloring book forgotten at the bottom of a kid’s drawer.

The warm breaths leaving his and his brother’s mouths were white as well, and the older hunter had a disturbing theory about how the fog was actually just made up from Lebanon folk’s bad germs.

 

The two made their way over to the garage, both trying to curl themselves up into their many layers. 

Sam looked especially funny, his tall built-body making it practically impossible for him to do so. He ended up looking like a giraffe trying to imitate a turtle, bending his neck in weird angles to make his height less of a problem.

“Do you think we’ll run into her?”

Dean asked - in a way that seemed almost nonchalant, but it was obvious that he was trying to mask how much he actually cared about the answer.

 

Sam shrugged. He  _ didn’t _ want to answer. It was a very touchy subject, and he really didn’t feel like ruining the drive to the crime scene with pointless arguments.

At some point he would address this properly, but now wasn’t exactly the time. It would most likely only serve to distract them from being a 100% concentrated on the case.

Besides - he had other things to think about.

Like promising his excelling student in the art of puppy-eying that he would distract his stubborn brother until seven O’clock. 

_ How in the hell did I get stuck with this role? _

 

Honestly, even with his clear distaste of anything that was high on carbs - he would still prefer making the damn cake.

______________________________________________________________________________

 

The sign read  _ Graham Antiques _ . 

This was the place.

You hesitated, but only because the place seemed too fancy for you - a fourteen year old making minimum wage, to enter. 

The first thing you would probably notice about the place had to be it’s size. It was enormous - like a small mansion.

The next thing would be the way it was built and designed - it was definitely  _ not  _ modern architecture. It looked like something out of a medieval themed movie.

_ Or was it Gothic architecture?  _

Gah! You hated history lessons!

Either way, is was fitting for an antique gallery. 

 

The stone walls stood tall, decorated with big rectangular windows - the kind you’d see in a church. 

Multiple carvings cascaded down each, one side mirroring the other time and time again without fail - without even an inch of asymmetricality. The shapes looked like tree branches, but there was something cold about the way they entangled with one another. 

Planned. Barren. 

_ I guess the one who designed this place wasn’t much for nature. _

 

The men and women coming and going from between the large glass doors situated in the middle of the building were all decked out in fancy clothing, and you were sure that if you had the eye for it you would recognize Jimmy Choos and other known names in the fashion industry decorating their rich owners in a variety of handbags and hella-expensive high heels.

You stood out completely, standing there in your purple leggings and the oversized jacket that you had ‘borrowed’ from Sam’s closet after finding out that yours had been thoroughly chewed up - another casualty of watching over Yuuki’s pup.

 

You took a deep breath, calming yourself down as you took a courageous step forwards. One that made your knees shake.

It’s a misconception, you know? That courage means being fearless.

A courageous person is a scared person who has a lot of willpower. A person with enough determination to go after his or her goals despite knowing the danger they’re facing.

A person like you.

_ I knew that stupid quiz was wrong! I’m  _ _ so  _ _ not a Huffpuff! _

 

So what if you looked like a lost kid who accidentally wandered off to the wrong neighborhood?

You’ve been through worst. So what if people were staring? Let them stare.

850$. 

You finally had 850$ for that vintage pocket knife. 

You’ve worked  _ hard  _ for this moment.

 

To be honest, you didn’t really understand what Dean liked about it so much,  _ or  _ why it was worth so much money. 

The ad described it as “ _ A highly decorated Victorian pocket knife with a beautifully embossed design depicting the four seasons, dating back to the 1900s/1910s. _ ”

To you it just looked like a tiny knife with some scribbles on it. 

_ Let’s just get this over with. _

You had a schedule to abide by. You’ve done a whole lot of  _ planning  _ over the last week and a half. Now it was time for the  _ doing. _

______________________________________________________________________________

 

“This is bad..”   
Sam concluded gravely.

The body sprawled over the floor in front of him deemed his words completely and horrifyingly true.

The victim was a young college student this time - 22 at most, though it was difficult to tell because his face barely looked like a face anymore.

His eyes didn’t look like eyes. His nose didn’t look like a nose. His mouth didn’t look like a mouth.

Neither of the brothers were jealous of the homicide department at the moment. The identification process was going to be a  _ bitch _ .

 

Every bit of skin that wasn’t covered by his clothes was red and blotchy. Some areas were worse than others, mottled over with pale shades of purple and green - but worst and most painful looking were the enormous spots that popped out above the surface, red around the edges and yellowy-white in the middle. 

They looked like they were on the verge of bursting, which only served to bring back some cringe worthy pimple-popping moments from their teen years.

 

Dean crouched down, his jacket folding unevenly around him.

He pulled a rubber glove out of his pocket and snapped it on.

“It's definitely that Nathair creature. Look,”

he pointed at the teeth marks- two red dots next to his fingers.

Sam nodded, frowning.

“Ok, so what do we know about this monster so far?”

 

The shorter of the hunters took one last look at the lifeless college student before getting up and removing the glove from his hand in a disgusted waving motion.

He wasn’t entirely convinced yet that the body couldn’t infect him with some type of disease, and he wasn’t going to risk it.

 

“We know that it doesn’t suck blood to  _ survive  _ \- the autopsy of the first few victim’s showed no blood loss.”

Sam scrunched up his forehead. 

“So it’s like a snake?”   
Dean crossed his hands in front of his chest, tilting his head to the side in thought.

“Well no. A snake bites either to paralyze or to kill, but only so that after it would be able to eat its victim.”   
Sam wrapped his jacket tighter around his body and dug his feet into the ground when a strong gust of cold wind threatened to topple him over.

 

“Maybe it felt like it was in danger, so it defended itself.”   
Dean snorted loudly, somehow managing to combine it with both a sneeze  _ and  _ a cough. 

_ Stupid weather! _

He cleared his throat a couple of times before answering.

“It dropped six bodies only in the last two weeks. Unless it’s battling a serious case of paranoia, I don’t think that’s the deal here.”

_ It doesn’t bite for survival  _ or _ because it’s threatened.  _

 

Despite making it his life’s mission to rid the world of monsters, Dean always managed to find some logic in their actions. 

Vampires kill because they love the taste of blood. Demons kill because Crowley would snap their necks if they disobeyed him. Werewolves kill because they are predators in their nature and their violent urges run too deep in their DNA to fight it. They all had a reason.

Heck - even those Fishtacos or whatever they called themselves had a reason.

 

This Nathair creature though.. He just couldn’t understand it’s motives.

He looked at his brother, wondering if maybe he had a better understanding of it than him.

The younger man uncomfortably played with the hem of his collar, running his fingers through the fold of the fabric, and Dean knew exactly what he was going to ask before he even opened his mouth.

“Did Jasmine mention anything else…?”

“No.”

The answer was firm and short. And immediate - he left no more than a second before speaking.

 

“Sorry. Look, let’s just,”

Sam struggled with the words, waving a hand in the air before sinking it back into the pocket of his jacket.

“Let’s just go. It’s freezing out here.”

_ Well that’s one thing we agree on. _

____________________________________________________________________________

 

Entering those glass door felt like walking through a portal to another world.

Well, not really another world - more like a mix of different centuries really.

There were a bunch of those big-throne like chairs, the velvet kind with headrests the size of half a Sam. 

_ Yes. Half a Sam  _ _ is  _ _  a length measurement.  _

But then there were also about five or six freshly minted Barbie dolls in their original casings displayed on a wooden table only a couple of centimeters away.

Somehow you couldn’t really picture a medieval princess playing with one of those, especially a particular one wearing a mini skirt and a shirt that ended right above the bellybutton.

 

You started walking around, almost forgetting what you came here for in the first place. It was easy to get distracted. There were so many different sections to look at. Toys, fashion, furniture, books, jewelry, paintings, statues, photographs.

Weaponry.

Most were up for auction. In fact, a crowd started to gather around a particular area already, leaving empty only the stage built in the center.

You’ve never been to an auction before. You couldn’t help but wonder if it was going to be somewhat similar to those programs you watched on the Discovery channel. Sam and Dean had a little bit of an unspoken contest going on between them - guessing the year vintage guns and cars were made. You would usually let your head fall against one of their shoulders then, the deep sound of their voice lulling you to sleep.

You cherished those moments.

An image flashed before your eyes, of Dean’s smile when he got his birthday present. 

His frown lines would transform into laugh lines and that river between his eyebrows would dry up, leaving behind only smooth, untroubled skin. His eyes would get that rare special sparkle - lighting up his entire face and your entire world with warmth.

 

Ever since you read him your assignment and he declared himself your adoptive father, things have been noticeably different. In a good way.

You have never felt so precious. You have never felt so adored.

You have never been spoiled like Dean have been spoiling you for the past week.

It was -

_ Hot chocolate every morning, five new dresses and six new cardigans, a Totoro plushie, a totoro coloring book, AND a totoro journal (because you commented thoughtlessly  _ _ once _ _ that you kinda liked the movie). It was forehead kisses every time you left for school, and bear hugs every time you got back. It was candy bars under your pillow. It was being lifted in the air for no reason at all. It was tickle fights and delicious cheeseburgers and a whole other level of overprotectiveness.  _

_ It was a safe, warm cocoon that you never wanted to leave. _

 

You clutched your fingers around the stripes of your backpack, eagerly scanning your surroundings.

You were going to return the favor. You wanted to make him as happy as he made you. The only problem was finding the damn thing. 

Maybe you should ask someone for help.

  
  


_ But everyone looks so important… _

The anxiety you felt before announced itself again, making your hands a little sweaty.

You let your eyes jump from person to person.  _  Leather, silks, furs, wools, linen. _

The more you looked, the more engravings of famous names started entering your line of sight too, all sewn on purposely noticeable areas of the expensive fabrics. You were right before.

_ Stefano Gabbana, Prada, Calvin klein, Chanel, Donatella Versace. H&M. _

_ Wait. H&M?! _

Thank. God. Somebody more on your level.

 

“Ex-excuse me,”

You pushed out, doing your best to appear calm. The person you were talking to was taller than you by a head or two, and the back of his neck was covered with a mop of brown curls. 

“I told you already, I  _ have  _ the money, ok? I saved up for-”

As soon as your eyes met with the man’s you froze. 

“Tristan?!”

The blue eyed teen looked almost as surprised as you were, his mouth hanging open comically and his bushy eyebrows lifted up in a way that scrunched up his forehead.

 

“(Y/N) what are you doing here?”

You crossed your hands in front of your chest - the way you’ve seen Dean do a lot lately. You noticed that every time he did his stance would become a little more confident.

“I’m getting a birthday present for Dean.”

You provided, liking the refreshing new firmness in your tone.

“What are  _ you  _ doing here?”

Tristan gave you a scrutinizing look. 

 

“I have my reasons. But, I don’t think I believe yours.”

All of a sudden two big arms landed on each of his shoulders.

“Tristan Moore, you’re coming with us. Mr. Graham would like to have a word.”

You slowly lifted your head up, staring at the two humongous looking dudes that seemed to have come out of nowhere. 

They were very much noticeable, one with his muscular build and his veins popping out, and the other with a big protruding belly and a piercing above his left eye. They were both wearing black shirts with the word ‘Security’ printed in the middle. 

The first one had a face like a mathematically accurate square. It was almost unnatural.

You had absolutely no idea how you didn’t notice them closing in.

 

Tristan cast a nervous glance at the thick fingers clutching his shoulders. Their shape reminded you of those raw, gross-looking hot dogs that dangled down from the meat aisle at the local supermarket.

“Look, I told you already. I'm not looking for trouble,”

The way his hands fisted at his sides told you a different story though.

If anything - he looked like he was ready to turn around and take a swing at one of them.

“You either come quietly now, or we’ll be forced to do this the hard way. Your choice.”

 

You were getting more and more worried by the second.

“Tristan what's going on? What do they want from you?”

Before you could get your answer the muscular one already started to pull the teen away.

“This is none of your concern, miss.”

You watched as the massive shoulders locked the sight of your friend(?) Away, leaving only his tense arm in your view.

“If I'm not back in twenty minutes call Dean, would you?”

______________________________________________________________________________

 

Dean tapped his fingers impatiently on the steering wheel, throwing a glance and another at the tall frame of his brother casting a ridiculously large shadow behind him as he payed the cashier lady for their lunch.

He wasn’t all that hungry for once. His stomach still had that weird phantom ache swirling around inside of it. 

He couldn’t really explain it. It was something akin to losing a limb, but then, that wasn’t exactly it either. It was more like the wound had closed up already, all the blood had dried up - but he could still feel the air brushing against it as if it was completely exposed. It didn’t hurt per say,

It just itched.

 

A lot.

He couldn’t sleep. 

At night he’d twist and turn in his bed. He’d pull his blanket up to his chin, and then a second later he’d throw it on the floor.

He didn’t know if he was feeling hot or cold, and his breathing would be so loud in his ears, and all of a sudden they all but demanded to be scratched and he couldn’t for the life of him remember how he had fallen asleep up until now.

His body seemed to be taking up too little space on the bed, which made no sense whatsoever. He was a big guy, but still - something was missing.

Someone was missing.

 

“Your hamburger.”   
The older hunter barely managed to catch the brown bag being thrown at him. The black door closed behind his younger brother with a ‘thunk’, and he eagerly turned the old key around, reveling at the sound of the engine being brought to life.

“Thanks.”

He fixed his eyes on the rearview mirror before maneuvering his prized baby back into the road.

 

A few minutes passed in silence, but Thunderstruck by AC\DC drowned it out somewhat. 

Dean felt just fine not saying anything for the time being. He quite liked watching the scenery change in front of him, feeling the wind brush up against his cheek through the half-opened window. 

There was always that unexpected rush that came with it. That little airy feeling jumping around inside of his chest as he watched the trees disappearing behind him, losing the race as he sped past them.

To his side though, he could see Sam shifting uncomfortably, and to top it off, he could practically  _ feel  _ his eyes drilling holes at him. 

“What?”

 

He didn’t mean to bark it out so harshly. 

He  _ wished _ he didn’t, because the little flinch that Sam failed to hide made him feel pretty guilty. 

“I didn’t say anything.”

Sam sipped from his second cup of coffee, nursing some warmth back into his cold body with that subtle yet  _ not _ subtle enough grimace. 

He always did that. Pretending everything was fine and dandy as he did something completely ridiculous - like drinking coffee angrily. He didn't even know that such an action was possible, not since he insisted on stabbing the hell out of his mashed potatoes once after they got into a fight over which one of them could get more chicks back in high school. 

 

Dean let out a tired sigh.

“Just.. say whatever it is you’re thinking, ok? Let's get this over with. I can't concentrate on driving like this. Your bitchface levels are so high right now that I feel like I'm gonna suffocate.”

The tall hunter stiffened in his seat.

“Bitchface leve-”

He started, his eyebrows pulling together in annoyance as he threw hands in the air.

“All I did was drink my coffee!”

 

“Right.”

The grouchy reply was followed by an eye-roll that was reflected in the rearview mirror a little too clearly for the younger brother’s liking, but the action shut him up for another couple of minutes. 

Only a couple of minutes though…

“Don't you think that you're avoiding this Jasmine thing a bit too much? I mean, I'm not saying you guys should be BFFs or something, “

The Impala made an angry sharp turn.

“I'm  _ not, _ ”

He clarified.

“All I'm saying is: she knows more this case than us. Her info could really help.”

 

“Forget it Sam.”

Dean had his eyes fixed forward, glaring at the road in front of him as if it was completely to blame for his quickly spiking irritation. 

“Forget what?”

“You know what. Forget it.”

Sam sighed in defeat, glaring at the side of the older man’s face.

“Fine. You know what?  _ Fine _ . But can you at least let  _ me _ talk to her?”

“No.”

 

To say the least, the rest of the ride was far from unpleasant. 

 

______________________________________________________________________________

 

You weren’t going to call Dean. No way. Doing so would spoil everything you had planned.

You  _ were _ , however, going to find a way to help Tristan out of the sticky-looking situation that he had gotten himself into.

How?

That you didn’t really know yet..

You could call Sam, but not without making Dean, who was with him at the moment, get suspicious.

 

You looked around with a hopeful, searching gaze, hoping your surroundings would eventually reveal something that you could use - like one of those point-and-click detective games where you had to pick up certain items to advance further.

_ Creepy vintage doll, music box with a ballet dancer screwed in the middle, painting of a vase or flowers, _

Nothing you could do with any of those. 

You wished the solution would have been easy, like ‘Give the creepy doll to the scary security guard for his secret creepy doll collection, and in return he will let you advance to the room Tristan was taken to’.

You seriously doubted that massive mountain of a human being had a thing for dolls though…

 

The way you saw it, you had three options:

  1. Convince the guard to let you in.



Somehow. 

2.Call Dean and risk exposing the surprise party. 

Or 3…

Use your powers and shape shift.

______________________________________________________________________________

 

“Can't we just buy one?”

Charlie dumped her body down on one of the two wooden chairs that she had dragged over from the bunker’s library earlier, her limbs sprawled at her sides like under-heated noodles. 

Not being huge like the boys proved pretty annoying when she couldn't reach most of the cabinets. Even Cas, who had tried quite ridiculously to stand on his tippy toes couldn't. 

“No. (Y/N) specifically requested that it had to be homemade.”

 

The redhead looked at the angel from the corner of her eye, finding herself both impressed and amused at the intensity in which he was staring down into the blue mixing bowl. 

There was something adorable about the whole thing. He was so serious, focused on the task like he was a surgeon performing open heart surgery. 

“Maybe I got the egg to flour ratio wrong..”

_ Yeah, either that or he was treating it like a science experiment. His long trench coat did kind of resemble a lab coat.. _

 

“Let’s just start over, ok? (Y\N) warned me to get double the ingredients. We have enough.”

The look Castiel fixed her with made her feel like she just kicked a puppy, especially when he avoided her gaze.

“I feel useless.”

He murmured, fumbling with the white apron he tied on before they began their perilous endeavour into baking territory. 

“You’re not useless!”

Charlie was up on her feet so fast that her chair was left wobbling uncertainly for a couple of seconds.

 

“I am. I keep thinking that I know what I am doing but,”

He took a moment to collect his thoughts.

“Angels are supposed to be creatures of wisdom. We have watched over humanity for thousands of years. Mortals  _ pray  _ for our guidance.”

“I think I finally understand why god has always kept us like that though - stationed somewhere up above. Observing, but never engaging. Listening, but never even once answering.”

He closed his eyes in thought.

“We don’t have the answers that they’re looking for. We don’t understand them like they understand each other.”

 

Charlie laid her hand on his shoulder gently, her lips forming a soft smile.

“Hey.. you’re learning.”

He didn’t look convinced.

“You are! Look,”   
The hacker hurried over to the other side of the kitchen, grabbing something off the counter before returning to Cas’s side.

“Look how observant you are,”

She pushed the asian beauties porn mag into his hands.

“You noticed the type of things Dean likes, and you bought it for him for his birthday. That’s totally something a human would do!”   
  


_ True, most people wouldn’t get someone a porn mag as a present, but hey, it’s the thought that counts, right? _ _   
_ The angel tilted his head to the side, thinking it over. When his shoulders straightened with confidence, Charlie grinned victoriously.

“I’m learning.”   
He repeated, nodding to himself.

“Yes you are! Now why don’t you start on the pie again? I’ll handle the decorations. Cool?”

It took her everything not to burst out laughing at the way he awkwardly wrapped his tongue around the simple word..

 

“C-cool.”

______________________________________________________________________________

 

“You know boy, we may not be demons, but we do have some rather convincing ways of getting you to talk.”

Tristan rolled his eyes. Yeah. Right.

There was no way in hell that snotty old man was getting anything out of him. He had  _ nothing  _ on him. 

He was just a teenager who happened to have a hobby of collecting rare knives. Nothing more.

He held his chin up in defiance. 

If anything..

“You know it’s illegal what you’re doing, right?”

He said, glancing down at the cuffs around his wrists and giving them a harsh rattle to strengthen his point.

 

Mr. Graham looked unfazed.

“What are you talking about? I’m a well-respected,  _ rich  _ art collector. You’re merely a troubled teen with a record.”

_ How does he know about that?!  _

Tristan narrowed his eyes. He raised his chin even higher, glaring at the man with all the confidence he could master. These type of people don’t respond well to weakness. Dean taught him that.

“We’ve been looking into you Mr. Moore.”

Tristan watched Graham from the corner of his eyes as his navy blue suit disappeared from his sight. He tried his hardest to turn his head around, not liking the feeling of not knowing what was going on behind him, but he was unable to look any further after him from his position on the chair he was tied to. 

 

“It’s sad, really. I almost feel bad for you.”

His interrogator's breath was brushing up unpleasantly against his ear, his voice way too loud for his liking.

_ “A young boy unable to cope with his older sister’s death.Today would have been her birthday, right?” _

Tristan saw red.

______________________________________________________________________________

 

Sam checked his phone. Again. 

What was (Y\N) doing?! He can’t distract Dean forever!

‘Sorry, ran into a bit of a problem. Can you hold him for like 20 more minutes?’

The tall hunter chanced a glance at his impatient brother who was currently receiving multiple annoyed glares from the other customers sitting near them. The ‘rhythm’ he was raining down onto the table was getting to him too, if he were completely honest.

He skewered another tomato with his fork. It was his  _ last  _ tomato.

 

“Finally! I swear, you are the slowest eater!”

Dean exclaimed, reaching for the pocket of his jeans while simultaneously raising a hand up to get one of the waiters attention.

“Wait!”

He heard himself saying.

The older hunter rolled his eyes, bringing his hand back to the wooden surface with a loud ‘thunk’.

_ “What?” _

“I’m not full yet.”   
  


The look he got was one of utter shock. Dean straightened up in his chair like he was an A+ student about to take notes on his next big exam.

“You’re not  _ full  _ yet.”   
Sam shrugged, picking up his menu to avoid meeting the other man’s eyes.

“Are you ok? I mean it’s supposed to be that way, nobody’s full after eating a salad, but since when are you-”

 

“Just be quiet alright? I’m trying to decide if I want french fries with my hamburger or not. Or maybe I should ask about their specials...”   
The older hunter’s mouth was hanging open. His jaw would have hit the ground had this been a cartoon.

“Who are you and what did you do with my brother?”   
______________________________________________________________________________

 

“You were only 5 at the time,  _ weren’t you? _ ”   
Mr. Graham’s tone made Tristan want to throw punches.

It was sweet. Sickly sweet. Fake sweet.

It was nauseating.

“I will  _ never  _ tell you  _ anything _ . You can go to hell.”   
The teen tensed in his place, balling his his hands into fists. The fingers trailing back and forth on his shoulders sunk in too deep, and he felt like they were in direct contact with his hurting muscles now.

Graham was done playing.

“ _ How _ do you know about the knife?”

“Sir?”

Tristan fell back on his chair with a sigh of relief as soon as the fingers disappeared. 

_ “What?” _ _   
_ The voice behind him barked out. He looked at the now half opened door to see one of the security guards peeking in. 

It was one of the two who brought him in - the muscular one with the upper body that looked like it was built out of bricks.

Actually - everything about the man looked like it was built out of bricks. Or blocks. He had so much muscle that his body didn’t even look human. 

Graham must have scared him shitless  _ too  _ if he was looking  _ this  _ nervous. 

“Sir it’s an emergency. Someone managed to steal one of the artifacts from the main lobby!”

 

“What?! How could you have let that happen? What do I pay you for?”

Mr. Graham marched to the door with unrestrained anger. 

“Idiot!”

He landed a punch to the guard’s stomach before he could even react.

“Watch him!”

With that, the door was slammed behind him.

Tristan stared at the hunched over man now in charge of him almost with sympathy. He looked almost uncharastically terrified.

 

_ “Great.” _

He sighed. At that rate there was no  _ way  _ he was getting out of there anytime soon. 

He really hoped (Y\N) called Dean already. He didn’t really want to call for his help - that would be super embarrassing, but he figured it was better than staying to see what else that damn ‘respected art collector’ had in store for him.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when he noticed the security guard advancing towards him.

Damn it!  _ What now? _

 

“Stay away from me you stupid fu-”

All of a sudden he heard a familiar ‘click’. 

Tristan blinked once. Twice. 

Three times.

_ What the? _

He was no longer cuffed to the chair. He was free!

______________________________________________________________________________

 

You stood in front of the bathroom mirror completely out of breath. 

Shapeshifting was no easy deal, as it turned out.

You looked at your reflection with relief. There were no huge shoulders at your sides, your head didn’t look like a square, and the floor was closer to you again. 

Staring back at you was just you. You with your sweaty wet hair and your red cheeks and blown wide pupils.

You quickly pulled your backpack out from the stall you had hidden it in before and yanked out your clothes.

 

You pulled the stinking security guard shirt off and threw it into a trash bin you had spotted before and put on your previously worn t-shirt.

_ Man.. the things you don’t appreciate until you’re turned into a freaking MineCraft character. _

As you reached down to pull off your pants you let out a grunt of pain.

That ‘Graham’ dude really knows how to throw a punch. 

_ Whatever. It’ll heal up soon. The important thing is that I managed to get Tristan out. _

_ And get the knife. _

In the midst of the panic you had created you snatched it. It was inside Graham’s office. 

No wonder you didn’t see it on display.

 

After you finished dressing up you gave yourself a look over in the mirror, feeling weirdly pretty in Sam’s worn out jacket.

Pride started bubbling in your chest. You used your new powers for  _ good _ . Maybe the boys were right..

Maybe you weren’t a monster..

Without even really thinking about it you gave yourself a little twirl, making the jacket puff out around you like a dress.

You did all you set out to do and you did it  _ well _ .

 

Reaching your hands into your backpack once again you pulled out your phone.

‘You can go back to the bunker. I got the present!’

______________________________________________________________________________

 

_ Thank god. _

Sam was  _ this  _ close to puking. 

He had eaten one cheezburger, three macaroons, fries -  _ and  _ he had drank two cups of coffee. 

Dean had stared at him through the whole thing with eyes so wide that he was sure that anytime now they would pop out of their sockets.

“Ok I’m full. Ask for the-” *A loud burp* “Ask for the receipt.”

__________________

 

Charlie was just hanging the final decoration when her phone started buzzing in her pocket.

“Cas they’re almost here!”

The angel was still fussing over the placement of the pie on the table (as he had been doing for the past 15 minutes) when he heard her. 

He grabbed that string spitting machine thingy that the redhead explained him about earlier and all but ran over in her direction. 

The two of them huddled close to the door, staying hidden.

“How do you use that thing agai-”

“Shhhh!”   
Castiel closed his mouth just in time to hear the sound of a key being turned.

Charlie locked her eyes with his, signaling with her fingers 1, 2, 3 -

“Surprise!”   
  


“ _ Jesus _ guys! It’s just me!”

(Y\N) stepped inside with a hand held over her heart.

“Oops.”

The hacker muttered.

The fourteen year old drank the room in with a spark in her eyes.

There were balloons practically everywhere: tied to the railings of the stairs, floating around against the ceiling, scattered around on the floor.. 

The table was set for five and the pie was situated right in the middle of it, with suspiciously equal the distance left from the corners.

“You guys did an amazing job!”

She exclaimed.

Charlie sent Cas a proud smile, but the angel seemed to be ignoring it.

 

“I still don’t understand how to activate the confetti machine.”

_____________________

 

Dean opened the door to the bunker, about to step inside when all of a sudden a blast of colorful little strings headed his way.

“Happy birthday!”

(Y\N)’s familiar hands closed around him in a tight grip as she tilted her head up to gauge his reaction. Her eyes looked huge looking down at her like that.

He didn’t  _ know  _ how to react.

He was never  _ in  _ a situation like that.

 

He looked behind him at Sam, looking for an answer there, but all he found was a gentle smile. 

So he looked forwards - at Cas and Charlie, but all he found there was again - smiles.

As a last resort he looked at (Y\N).

Her smile was almost blinding.

Happy.

They were all happy. For him. Because of him. 

He had to bury down the unexpected urge to cry.

 

“Come on,”   
(Y\N) pulled him inside, her hand practically twitching with excitement. She pushed him unto a chair that had balloons tied to it and then pranced over to the counter, giddy with happiness.

“I got you a present!”

She sing-songed. 

“Open it!”   
A messily wrapped box was thrust into his hands as the girl came to a stop by his side.

“Come on come on!”

 

Dean unwrapped his present slowly. His fingers were hesitant.  _ He  _ was hesitant.

And then a knife appeared under the wrapping paper.  _ The  _ knife. _ The _ knife he had his eyes on.

He was speechless.

______________

 

“Dean?”   
You were getting worried. He was just… staring at it. 

“Dean?”

Cas joined you from his other side.

“(Y\N).. how, how did you get it?”   
You shrugged.

“Worked for it.”

He picked it up slowly, holding it in front of himself to look at it from every angle, and then  _ finally _ -

He smiled.

 

It was shy, and overwhelmed.  

But it was directed at you, and all of a sudden everything you worked for was worth it.

He had been so depressed ever since he broke up with Jasmine - even if he did all he could to hide it, and you made him  _ smile _ .

_ “Thank you.” _

Your cheeks heated under the two big hands that were suddenly covering them. His green eyes were- 

_ Holy crap his eyes are teary! _

 

And then a rain of kisses. 

A  _ storm _ of kisses.

A  _ typhoon  _ of kisses.

On your nose. On your forehead. On your chin. On your hair.  _ Everywhere _ .

Your heart was stuck in your throat.

“D-Dean!”

You managed to choke out as he kissed your right eye closed. From your left one you could see Charlie and Cas staring with wide eyes.

 

“Dean!”

You squeaked again.

He kissed your cheeks one last time before without any warning pulling you up into his lap and holding you there.

_ “Wow.” _

Charlie declared. 

“I mean… wow.”   
The hunter’s hands tightened around your waist.

“Shut up,”

The words were muffled into your hair, and then - lo and behold - another kiss.

 

“I think you broke him.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys think?   
> I jumped from a whole lot of POV's this chapter so I really hope following along wasn't too difficult. It's written over like a month a half so I hope it still makes sense..  
> Anyways I really want to know your opinion on it! Constructive criticism is very much appreciated too because I'm honestly not sure about this one.   
> Lay it on me!


	30. Bee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahh...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains mentions of cutting and one scene that is pretty dark, so I'm just putting this out there - if you are easily triggered by this type of things I would recommend to skip this chapter. It's not a very long scene though, I'm just putting it out there so you guys don't stumble unto something that you don't want to read.
> 
> That being said - I hope you guys enjoy and I'm sorry for the super long wait!

Dean had his eyes half closed. His muscles were relaxed. His mind was clear.

There was no noise. No worries. No fear. There was just the ridiculous feeling of peace. 

Clouds caressing the walls of his head. A warm breeze in his chest. Cotton candy at the bottom of his stomach (this one wasn't even a metaphor).

 

Before him, the table was messy with candy wrappings and a nearly finished apple pie resting on a porcelain plate.

Charlie was splayed over the other sofa with her her mouth half open. Her feet escaped under the blanket at some point during the night, leaving her still boot clad toes pointing to the ceiling. Her nose kept twitching every once in awhile. He found it hilarious.

 

Sam wasn't any better off. 

He didn’t even  _ fit  _ on his sofa _ ,  _ and as if to humor Dean even more - a balloon had deflated and landed right on top of his forehead. 

Cas was long gone, zapping out after arranging his own blanket neatly on top of a chair, and (Y/N)-

 

(Y/N) was snoring lightly, tucked under Dean's arm in a half sitting-half lying position.

The sofa was a little small for the two of them, but she insisted to sleep by his side anyways.

Even deep into dream-land she had her hands crossed in front of her in determination.

He smiled.

 

Gathering her close to his chest, the hunter dropped a quick kiss on the crown of her head before throwing his arms in the air, stretching them out in a half-assed attempt at getting the blood flowing again.

He got up, gently laying her down across the now unoccupied space.

She stirred a little, opening her eyes just the tiniest bit.

 

_ “Dean?” _

She murmured in confusion, slurring his name in the most adorable way.

“Go back to sleep. You stayed up  _ way _ past your bedtime yesterday.”

The birthday party had trickled into the late hours of the night, or early hours of the morning actually.

It was a little hard to tell since the bunker, well, being a bunker - had no windows, and the entire place was constantly lit by the lamps placed high on the ceiling.

Time was mostly measured by the amount of balloons hitting the floor and the no longer existent warmth of hot cocoa mugs that were scattered throughout the room.

 

Dean dragged his naked feet over the floor, bringing a hand up to cage a big yawn.

His eyes were a little faster than his tired body - already closing in on the object he was looking for.

The victorian knife.

 

It was still sitting in the messy crib of it’s wrapping paper, glinting ever so slightly at the prominent tops of it's carvings.

It was made out of a rare metal - Ruthenium. He heard rumors about the effects it could supposedly have on certain types of monsters.

He wanted to add it to his collection for a while now, but spending that amount of money on himself seemed a little selfish.

Little (Y/N) thought differently though - apparently. He was still half in shock that she had actually worked for it. 

_ She’s only fourteen! _

Well, almost fifteen to be exact, but to him she always seemed a little younger than her actual age.

 

He picked up the knife by its wooden handle, turning it around and around in his hands like he’d done the day before, still fascinated by the well-maintained state of it.

He was itching to try it out already. Sam mentioned that it might work on Vamps and Ghouls.

_ I wonder if it’ll work on the Nathair.. _

His hands stilled mid-flip of his present.

_ I wonder if I’ll run into Jasmine.. _

He quickly shook his head.  _ What’s wrong with me??  _

He didn’t understand why he kept thinking about her. 

He felt like his brain was malfunctioning or something - like the hamster spinning the wheels of his mind was running too fast and was constantly slipping and falling over.

 

_ Stupid Jasmine. _

_ Stupid hamster! _

 

He glanced at his trusty old watch.

_ Well. Better get back to work. _

______________________________________________________________________________

 

Tristan’s POV

 

I wish I looked older. The cops never take me seriously. The only good thing that ever comes out of it is the confused faces they pull when I tell them my cover story. Never ceases to amuse me.

 

“I told you - when I was seventeen I developed a brain tumor in the pituitary gland. It's a tiny area about the size of a pea, but it's the one that releases growth hormones. It's really rare. Look it up.”

_ “ _ You  _ better  _ not be making this up.”

I couldn't help the cocky smile as I elegantly pulled out ‘my supervisor’s’ card. Good ol’ Garth never let's me down.

 

I ducked under the yellow tape as the confused officer mumbled apologies into his phone.

The weather was a little warmer than it had been for the last couple of weeks or so, and I found myself tugging at the collar of my button down, pulling it away from my sweaty neck.

For once the ground under my feet didn't glisten with the aftermath of rain. It was a refreshing change - though I can't exactly say I'm fond of the heat.

I started fanning my face with my fake FBI badge, barely containing a chuckle at the way the cops surrounding me avoided looking me in the eye.

 

As I crouched down beside the victim and observed the horrid discoloration ( and that's putting it nicely) that was the young girl's skin, I made myself a promise that I will catch that Nathair creature and kill it once and for all, even if I didn’t know exactly  _ how  _ yet.

The monster operated in the shadows - always managing to slip out of sight. It’s been a whole month and a half since I started tracking it, and so far I only managed to deduce that it made it’s nest in the city and that it hunted at night. It didn’t seem especially picky with it’s victims either, making it even harder to track.

 

I moved the poor girl’s face to the side, glaring at the bite marks left on her neck. I couldn’t stop the frustrated groan that found it’s way out of my throat.

I’ve been examining those exact puncture wounds on several different victims again and again without getting any closer to the solution to this case. Not even one small lead. Nothing.  _ Nada. _

How was I supposed to solve this if I haven’t got any clues?!

I rose up slowly, hating the way those two dead eyes stared emptily at the sky above me.

 

_ Don’t get yourself down just yet. You know what it is and you know how to kill it. All you need to do now is find a way to get that damn knife from that pompous art collector and then track that sucker down. _

 

“Ahhm ahhm.”   
  


Startled out of my mental pep talk, I dragged my eyes away from the young girl sprawled motionless on the ground. 

My sight immediately connected with a familiar pair of annoyed green eyes. Connected with them so abruptly that the impact pushed my heart right up my throat.

I let out a fake airy laugh.

_ “Tristan.” _

Dean scolded, a small triangle appearing deep between his eyebrows.

I hastily threw a glance around. It didn’t seem like anyone was looking in our direction, luckily.

 

“Fancy meeting  _ you  _ here!”

I all but squeaked. I usually don’t get very intimidated by other hunters. 

It was always different with Dean though - for  _ way  _ too many reasons. 

First and foremost I’ve always looked up to him, and disappointing him always came with a  _ lot  _ of shame.

Second of all he was as tough as you can get. I mean the stories I would constantly hear about him and the way he just casually brushed them off when asked about them - the man was a fucking legend in the hunters community!

And thirdly, I thought as I watched him pull his phone out his pocket,

“Oh come on! Please don’t call mom!”   
_ Yeah.. and thirdly - he knew my mom. _

 

“Hey Rose’, how’re you doing?”   
He spoke as he pressed the damn thing to his ear. His eyes never left mine for even a second.

I gave him my best attempt at his brother’s famous puppy eyes, but he only rolled his eyes. 

“Do you know where Tristan is at the moment?”   
I cringed, knowing full well what was coming next.

“Oh studying with a friend, is he?”

“Dean!”

I whispered pleadingly, waving my hands in the air. 

 

He just kept talking though, his tone even and nonchalant - the exact opposite of what  _ my  _ voice would probably sound like if I was ever brave enough to interrupt him.

He paced back and forth for awhile. Pretty calmly at first, but when he started to hold his cell away from his ears periodically through the obviously one-sided conversation he was having with mom, his pace began to quicken. His shoulders came up a little too high, and his forehead basically caved in on his eyes.

I swallowed down saliva.  _ This is _ **_not_ ** _ good. _

 

“Hey calm down, ok? I told you I’m handling it.”

I un-glued my sight from the back of his suit to look around. Beyond the yellow ‘Do Not Enter’ tapes laid the rest of the public park (Bastard was practically taunting me at this point, leaving its victim where it would be so easily found). A couple meters forwards was a road, and at the end of it was a bustling sidewalk with a few coffee shops speckled here and there. 

_ I could use one of those for a quick hideout.  _

My eyes returned to Dean, who was - thankfully, still occupied with his phone and facing in the other direction.

 

I took a light step back, making sure he really  _ didn’t  _ hear my shoes moving through the grass.

I calmed myself down. Stealth was not about making a run for it and hoping for the best. There is a lot more to it than people might  think. 

No. I took my time, slow and steady is the key here. Hunters are trained to notice sharp movements and sudden noise, and I wasn’t about to give myself away and condemn myself to who-knows-how-long of a scolding mom was gonna give me after Dean dragged me home.

 

I kept moving at the same pace, gradually putting some distance between us, and when I saw the opportunity I quickly slid behind a red kiddy slide.

I was a little less nervous now. At least he couldn't spot me right away.

I pulled off the top part of my black suit, hoping that if he did see me at any point during my escape he wouldn’t recognize my white shirt from the back.

I quickly tucked it under my armpit and turned around, fixing my eyes on a pink sign that read  Katie’s Corner  on the other side of the road.

I couldn’t help the smug smile that jumped unto my lips.

Almost there.

 

_ “Wrong way buddy. Baby’s in the other direction.” _

______________________________________________________________________________

 

You were sleepily drinking your hot cocoa in your unicorn jammies when the front door thrust open.

You stood up quickly. 

_ Dean!  _

Charlie and Cas left a while ago and you were getting a little lonely, so the hunter being back made you even happier than you usually were when he got back from a hunt.

You ran past a snoring Sam who was sprawled on top of the sofa looking like dough left to inflate overnight, spilling over and out of a mixing bowl. There was probably a much better way to describe it, but your stomach was full with birthday pie and that was the only thing that came to your mind.

 

You cheerfully made your way over to greet him, feeling warm and cozy in your fluffy mis-matched socks.

“Dea-”

You blinked. Then you blinked again. And again - and then again for confirmation.

The pair of blue eyes in front of you were blinking too. And then an uncontrollable booming laughter snapped you back into reality and made you feel like the hot cocoa you downed a minute ago had infused itself into the blood gathering in your burning cheeks somehow.

“Tris- Tristan. What are you _ doing  _ here?”

 

You gathered as much of your messy hair to the side, as if the action could somehow make up for your embarrassing choice of pajamas.

The boy only kept laughing. 

“What- what in the name of-”

He stopped to wipe a tear away from the corner of his eye.

“What are you  _ wearing? _ ”

Dean stepped out from behind him, rolling his eyes before bonking him lightly over his mop of brown hair.

“Ow!”   
Tristan yelped, turning to glare at the hunter.

 

“What is  _ he  _ doing here?”   
You questioned again, only this time choosing to direct it to Dean instead.

“Yeah,ah..”   
The man started, scratching the back of his neck.

“I’m doing Rosaline a favor. You know? Keeping an eye on him. He’s been sticking his nose far too deep in the supernatural’s radioactive trash bag lately. And he’s been doing it pretty recklessly too - made up a dumb-ass story about a tumor he developed in his pitushituty gland when he was seventeen or somthin’”   
  


“Pituitary”

You and Tristan corrected at the same time, making Dean look back and forth between the two of you with a raised eyebrow.

“Ye- whatever. Tomato tom _ a _ to. Point is - he’s going to stay at the bunker for a day or two until I manage to convince his mom that from now on he’s  _ not  _ going to do anything  _ stupid _ .”

He glared the teen down for a full minute before Tristan finally caved and squeaked out an ‘ _ Ok ok I get it!’. _

“Right. I’m gonna go wake up Sam. (Y\N), I’m sorry to drop him on you all of a sudden, but you mind babysitting for a while?”

“Hey!”   
You felt yourself nodding. For some reason. 

 

As dean walked over to the couch, leaving you alone, you glanced at Tristan from the corner of your eye. Now that he wasn’t laughing anymore he seemed just as embarrassed as you were.

You unconsciously rubbed your right foot against your left, the fuzzy socks having lost their coziness. Now they just felt too hot against your skin and you could feel yourself starting to sweat.

“So..”   
The seventeen year old started, fixing his eyes on a lone unicorn sitting on top of a blue cloud. He was over finding it funny, but he couldn’t really meet your eyes, so a random area of your sleeve got all of his attention. You couldn’t really decide how you felt about that.

 

“What did you do?”

You asked. Mostly to fill the silence, but to be honest - you were a little bit curious. Just a  _ little  _ though. 

Tristan held his nose up, his shoulders straightening.

“I only did what was needed to be done.”

He answered, finally looking at something in a close vicinity to your face. It wasn’t much, but you considered it an improvement.

“I don’t deserve this.”   
The angry way he said it made something in your heart tighten. 

 

“I don’t see how spending some time in the bunker is punishment.”   
It wasn’t like Sam and Dean were such mean people. And you were fun to be around… right?   
He huffed.

“Whatever. I need to use the bathroom. Where do you got one?”   
The teeny tiny amount of compassion you were feeling for him before disappeared, along with any curiosity you might have had. 

_ I knew he was jerk. _

 

“You're gonna be here for a while. Find it yourself. “

He looked at you like you were insane.  _ The hell is he so shocked about? _

You were starting to get uncomfortable,  but before you had the chance to excuse yourself (you were itching to change and take a shower) he shot you one of his cocky smirks that always seemed to appear out of nowhere. 

“Seriously we should hang out together more often.”

 

_ “Huh?”  _

It was your turn to stare. His turn to get uncomfortable. 

“Nothing. I'm just gonna-”

He looked around between the three hallways he could choose from.

“I'm gonna find the bathroom.”

You watched him enter the wrong one with what you thought would be massive satisfaction, but instead you felt an unexpected pang of loss.

 

Your hand acted of its own accord, landing on his shoulder.

You masked the action with an irritated sigh.

“Wrong way buddy. The bathroom’s in the other direction.”

Tristan turned your way slowly, looking at you up and down with suspicion.  

“You sure you're  _ really  _ not related to Dean?”

______________________________________________________________________________

 

 

You turned off the shower tap and stepped out, fixing a towel around your body.

The cold air brushed against you pleasantly and the scent of shampoo surrounded you like invisible fairy-dust.

And then your mind started functioning normally again.

You weren't so sure how you were going to handle Tristan staying at the bunker, even if it was supposed to be only for a day or two. He always made you feel a little uncomfortable. Mainly because you couldn’t read him. 

_ At all. _

His actions were always so contradictory to everything you expected out of him.

 

You threw on your favorite dress - a floral sundress that ended a little higher above the knee than anything else you owned. Nothing too revealing, just enough to hint that you actually had thighs. 

Your wardrobe mostly consisted of jeans and graphic tees. That or oversized sweaters when it was cold - which was like basically every other day. 

 

After blow-drying your hair and combing it you took a peek at yourself in the mirror. 

_ I actually look pretty cute! _

You  _ really  _ needed that small boost of confidence. Especially after your embarrassing pajama incident.

You couldn’t really understand why yet - maybe because Tristan was always so confident, but looking bad in front of him really made you wanna curl up into a ball in some secluded corner of the bunker. 

He always seemed to know what he was doing, and even though he wasn’t the most popular boy in school he never let anyone put him down. Those who  _ did  _ hang out with him appreciated him for that and…  _ admitting it was difficult _ , but..

So did you.

Maybe him staying over wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe he’ll even surprise you!

You gave the mirror one last determined look.

_ Ok! It’ll be fine. _

You were about to step out of the bathroom when you heard something that peaked your interest.

_ “- right now, but please just talk. Talk and I'll listen. I'll always be there for you I promise. just breath ok? And put it down. Can you do that for me Bailey?” _

It was Tristan. Talking to Bailey.

You haven’t thought about your former co-worker ever since you left work. You weren’t exactly friends, but you counted the smile she flushed you as you were leaving a sort of peace offering.

 

_ “I  _ **_am_ ** _ with you, you can hear me can't you? I'm here, you don't have to do this, just-just open the window and throw it out,” _

_ “Damn it Bee, just wait for me I'm coming,” _

The sound of urgent shoes sprinting down the stairs made you throw the bathroom door open.

Dread started settling in your stomach. You remembered her situation. It was so similar to your - how could you forget?

Your legs started moving on their own.

“Not so fast Tristan, you're staying here until-” 

A yelp of pain.

“Ow! Tristan what the hell?!”

You heard Dean asking in annoyance. 

 

You quickly ran towards his voice. 

Near the front door the hunter was holding Tristan to the wall with his right arm while waving his left (which was now sporting an area of red, angry looking skin.) In the air. 

“Let me go!”

“Like hell I will! What got into you all of a sudden?”

Tristan’s panic transferred over to you as soon as your eyes met. You knew he was looking at you for a reason, and you knew what he wanted you to do. You knew because you wanted to do it too, because whether or not the two of you got along didn’t matter. Because the helplessness in his eyes pierced a hole through your heart that caused all of your emotions to spill out from between your lips.

 

“Dean let him go.”

The hunter turned in your direction, his hand relaxing some of it’s hold over the teen’s shoulder.

“What? Why?”   
You took a step forwards, aware of the fact that Tristan’s eyes never left you. It made you feel stronger - braver, for some reason.

“Just- just let him go, ok? He’ll be back in two hours tops!”

You caught Tristan’s gaze immediately after, making sure he was aware of the exact amount of time you were buying him. That he’ll come back immediately after taking care of whatever Bailey’s situation was.

“Sweetheart, you know I can’t do that..”   
  


“Yes you can.”   
You laid a hand over Dean’s, looking up at him with eyes that you hoped were as desperate as you were feeling inside.

He looked torn, looking back and forth between the two of you with confusion. 

“Please..? For me?”

His eyes softened and he let out a tired sigh. You practically threw yourself at him when he released Tristan from his grip.

“You heard her. Two hours - and when you come back I expect a detailed explanation.”   
  


“Yes sir!”

Tristan called back in replay, already a foot out the door. Before he shut it closed though, he pinned you with a grateful look.

“I owe you one.”

______________________________________________________________________________

 

Tristan POV

 

I burst through the familiar green door breathing heavily and covered head to toe with cold sweat.   
Bailey sat on her bed. Eyes red, glossed over with fresh tears. Puffy eyelids. Pale.

So very pale.

She hasn't noticed me yet, staring off somewhere to her side, the top of her nose red and wet.

“Bee.”

She turned her head slowly, but she still wasn’t with me. Not completely. Her gaze was unfocused, her forehead scrunched up in thought.

“Bee, look at me, I’m here now.”

I tried to leave the panic out of my voice. She needed stability.

I stepped closer to her, sitting down next to her bed looking up at her.

 

_ “Amanda. Rachel. Mike.” _

She whispered to herself. I took her hand gently, wincing when I found exactly what I was expecting to find. I put pressure on her wrist, tearing off a part of my shirt with my teeth.

_ “Felix. Sara.” _

I wrapped it around and around, each complete circle feeling like a rope tightening around my neck. Tighter and tighter. Tighter and tighter. Choking me more with each name she called. I could barely breath.

_ “Amanda. Rachel. Mike. Felix. Sara. Amanda, Rachel, Mike, Felix-” _

 

I put my hands on her cheeks, tilting her head down to look at me.

“Shhh. Look at me Bee, It’s ok. It’s over.”   
“ **_Amanda! Rachel! Mike! Fel-_ ** _ ” _

She was shaking and screaming now, her hands batting at the air around her in full panic. Struggling against me.

“Bailey!”

I shook her shoulders. The reasons why blurred. To snap her out of it?  _ To snap myself out of it? _ _   
_ I could see the faces. They merged in with hers so easily. 

Sometimes it was the crease between her eyebrows. Sometimes the nose or the mouth or the  _ fear  _ in her eyes. 

 

**_“Give them_ ** **_BACK!_ ** **_”_ **

I bit my lower lip. Hard. I shook her shoulders again, this time with everything I got. If I let her spiral anymore out of control she might do something she’ll regret later.

“Snap out of it!”   
The room felt relievingly silent when she closed her mouth. 

“T-That’s it. Look at me.”

It was impossible to keep the stutter out of my voice this time, no matter how hard I tried.

 

She finally looked at me, her tears washing away the images, replacing them with a reflection of my face. Of my eyes. Of my  _ own  _ tears.

I wiped them away as fast as I could, cursing myself for being so weak. I didn’t have a right to cry in front of her. 

“Tristan..?”   
Her voice was soft and vulnerable.

I cupped her cheeks again, swiping my thumb over the trails wet skin.

“I’m here.”

 

As I lay there, brushing a few strands of blond hair out of her sleeping face, I thought about how nothing I ever do will make up for messing up that hunt. I thought about her hurting herself - finding a new razor, pulling up her sleeve, slicing open a hole too big to close.  _ I would never be able to close that hole. It would bleed forever.  _

I thought about her giving in. 

 

_ Amanda. Rachel. Mike. Felix.Sara. _

_ Bailey. _

I tightened my grip around her waist.

______________________________________________________________________________

You took another peek at Dean’s watch. It’s been two hours already - you were getting worried. Sam holding your hand at your side didn’t have the effect it usually had.

The more you thought about Tristan the more the urge to get up from the sofa and look for him overtook you.

Even if he was a little bit of an asshole sometimes, deep down you knew he had a good heart. That even if his actions were a little strange and unexpected - he only meant well. 

 

“Alright that’s it.”

Dean declared, standing up and leaning down to grab his keys from the table.

“Wait, Dean just give him ten more minutes!”   
The hunter ignored you completely, making his way over to the door.

You ran after him, catching his right arm before he turned down the handle.

He turned back to look at you, his green eyes boring into yours.

“Why do you care about him so much?”   
  


The question caught you off guard..

“I don’t!”

Dean raised an eyebrow. He didn’t believe you. 

Truth was.. You didn’t believe you either.

“Are you-”

Before he could finish Tristan burst through the door, looking completely defeated.

He took a look at Dean’s hand still resting on the door handle.

 

“I’ll explain everything tomorrow. I’m going to bed.”   
  


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you guys think? I know there isn't a whole lot of Sam and Dean in this chapter, but I hope I managed to make it interesting enough so that you could stick with the story regardless. 
> 
> This chapter dealt with some heavy stuff that I know a lot of people can unfortunately relate to.. If any of you ever feel like you need to talk with someone feel free to message me :)


	31. This is on me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Y\N) wakes up and...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the loooong wait guys! I had a big writer's block, but I finally got over it!  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter!

 

You woke up in the middle of the night.

Not from a nightmare or  the sound of the brothers staying up late to discuss a case, you woke up because of a feeling. 

You  really didn't like that feeling. 

Quietly getting out of the bed, you strained your ears for any noise outside your door. 

There was nothing. 

 

Still you opened it, peeking left and right into the dark hallway.

You didn’t know what you expected to see, really. The bunker was pitch black at night anyways. Sam insisted - lights off from 21:00 till 6:00 in the morning. That was his way of making sure you didn't go to sleep too late.

The only lamps still on were the ones in the bathrooms and the dimmed fairy lights you got from Cas.

 

You tiptoed your way into the living room, your hands grabbing at bookshelves and tables like a blind person. 

_ “Ouch!” _

You hissed, bringing your right foot up to cup your toe.

_ “Stupid- whatever you are!” _

Suddenly something fell over. A book, you guessed - and you were  _ not  _ the one who caused it.

 

You gulped, freezing in place. 

_ Shit shit shit _

_ Someone broke in! _

“De-”

Hands clapped over your mouth, muffling the rest of your scream.

You threw a leg back. Hard.

_ “Ow! (Y/N) what the hell?  It's just me!” _

You turned around in surprise. It was still hard to see, but you were pretty sure you were looking at Tristan, who was currently bent over in pain with a hand clutching his crotch.

 

“Sorry! Are you ok? What are you doing up?”

You didn't exactly like the embarrassment that came with the sound of his pained voice. It gave you that feeling you would get after biting into a lemon - a sting in the inside of your cheeks.

“I was just getting a midnight snack.”

Tristan replied, glancing over his shoulder.

 

“Hey, you look tired. You should go back to bed.”

He announced, grabbing your shoulders and turning you around.

You tiredly let him drag you back a couple of steps, covering a yawn with your hand.

You really  _ were  _ tired. 

“Wait.”

This was Tristan you were talking about. 

You dug your feet into the ground. 

 

“What?”

You turned around,  squinting down at him.

“Why are you wearing shoes?”

“I'm not.  It's dark, you're tired, you really should get back to bed.”

He made for your shoulders again, but you dodged them.

“Tristan, were you about to sneak ou-”

“Shh!”

He held his hand over your mouth again, or at least he did until you bit it. Not too hard,  but hard enough for him to throw it in the air with a hiss.

 

“Get back to your room before Dean wakes up,”

You started, pushing him away from the front door which you could kinda make out with your slowly adjusting eyes and your quickly awakening state.

“No.”

He slipped out of your grasp.

“Forget it,”

 

“Step away from the door or I'm calling Dean.”

That stopped him.

“You wouldn't. “

He took a step in the opposite direction, assessing your reaction. 

“Don't test me.”

When he took another step backwards you gave him an ‘I warned you’ look and started walking towards Dean’s room.

“Wait wait-”

 

He grabbed your hand.

“ _ Seriously? _ You would rat me out that easily?!”

For some reason that question really got on your nerves.

You gave him your deadliest glare.

“I'm not lying to him. I made him a promise. “

“Oh  _ come  _ on!”

The teen glared right back at you. 

 

“Look, I have to do something important! I can't just stand around doing nothing! “

“What?”

“Something I can't talk about. “

You crossed your hands in front of your chest.

“does it have to do with Bailey?”

“No. Yes, look it's complicated!”

 

“Well then what is it?”

Tristan looked nervous now, his eyes scouting the area behind you as if either of the brothers were gonna pop out with their guns out.

He made sure to speak extra quietly. 

“The Nathair. I know where it is.” 

Your eyes widened.

That Nathair creature is all Sam and Dean have been talking about for the last three weeks. 

They've been  _ trying  _ to keep you out of it, but let's be serious here -

_ That's the monster that killed Jasmine’s husband! _

 

_ I gotta tell Dean!  _

_________________________________

 

Tristan’s POV

 

Even though the room was almost entirely hidden by the massive shadow of the bookshelves, I could still make out (Y/N)’s determined face. 

Things were really not going my way lately.

“(Y/N), please just listen to me before you do anything rash.”

Her big eyes looked at me like I was insane.

 

“Tristan this is so much bigger than us. You'll get yourself killed and I don't even wanna think about what Sam and Dean are gonna do if they found out I was awake when you sneaked out!”

With every word I could tell she was convincing herself further. 

I caught her face in my hands, bringing her attention back to me.

“Please just listen. “

 

She averted her eyes stubbornly. 

“It doesn’t matter what you say. I can't lie to them again..”

There was so much vulnerability in her small form all of a sudden, I almost considered pulling her in for a hug.

“They gave me everything,  and they take care of me. They saved me! You have to understand. I can't do this to them again!”

 

Unfortunately I did understand. They did for her exactly what I  _ couldn’t  _ do for Bailey. 

I  _ did _ , which is why I had to finish it off myself.

“That creature have been terrorizing Kansas for over two years now. It took too many victims and… “

“And?” 

She looked at me expectantly, her eyes closing around my heart like a bird cage. I wondered what she'd think of me after I opened my mouth again.

 

“And I let it.”

(Y/N) tilted her head to the side. 

She searched my face for what seemed like forever, making that cage constrict even more. 

“I don't get it. What do you mean you let it?”

I shifted my weight from leg to leg. It was meant as a way to relieve some pressure, take some weight off my heavy conscious,  but all it did was make me feel like I was standing unstable on ground that felt like it would crack under me at any second. 

 

“Around a year ago I caught wind of a case - right here in Lebanon. I couldn't just ignore it, you know! But I wasn't being stupid or anything either, I didn't go up against it all on my own.”

 

“I got my brother Leo in on it too. We figured out where it would strike next, and we set up camp there thinking we could ambush it.

We didn't exactly have to wait too long, it showed up walking confidently through the front gate in the form of an albino child. He was so pale he was almost glowing like the moon above us.”

 

“I remember Leo signaling me to follow him after the creature dissolved into the surface of the door and out of sight right before our eyes. I have never seen anything else like it - a monster just disappearing into thin air. Leo didn't either I'm sure if that. It was written all over his face.

We decided to go around the back, get in through the kitchen window.”

 

I stopped for a moment,  recalling the horrible things that occurred after we set foot inside the house.

 

“And then? “

(Y/N)  asked, her curious eyes trying to suck the information in from between my still closed lips.

I swept a hand through my hair, feeling like I grew it thicker in just a few seconds. It felt like an unnecessary amount of sweat was gathering at the back of my neck.

 

“We looked around for it, being as quiet as we could. The house was big and so was the family residing in it, and it made us all the more determined to stop it before it did any damage.

We separated.

It was difficult to see anything, and the air was weirdly dusty. 

I was checking my third room when I  heard some movement coming from a different one. 

I sneaked over there right away, my gun loaded and ready to fire.”

 

“The Nathair was bent down looming over a sleeping boy in his teens. There was undeniable hunger in it’s eyes and it’s white as snow fingers were twitching.

It was creepy as all hell, but I was just memorized looking at it. I don't think I was even breathing.

It crouched down beside the bed. It looked so innocent, I don't know what I was expecting,  but I know I definitely did  _ not _ consider the possibility of it fixing it's hands around the boy’s neck and revealing two sharp looking fangs. And a tongue.

A snake’s tongue.”

 

“It… it just - dug in. Like the boy tasted of melted chocolate or something. Something clicked in me then. Probably hunter instincts - the spell broke I guess. I raised my gun and aimed it at the creature’s head.

I don't have any idea what I did that gave my position away, but all of a sudden it snapped it's head in my direction. 

I pulled the trigger.”

 

“It threw it's hand up in front of it. I thought it meant to shield the rest of it's body from the bullet, but instead of just staying in place it swished it's middle finger to the right, and my bullet just followed it! 

I knew I fucked up then.”

 

(Y/N) held her breath, gasping every now and then when I said something she found shocking. If I was telling any other story it would've been amusing to look at. Even bordering on cute.

“Anyways, “

 

I snapped myself out of the irrational path this train of thought was going. I knew myself - if I didn't switch to a different track soon I would just find myself breaking through a dam (which was put down there for a  _ reason _ ) and falling down to my death.

I decided that as long as I could see the warning signs I could still avoid it. 

I couldn't fall for anyone right now - no matter how tempting that jumping instinct was.

I owed it to Bailey.

I cleared my throat. 

 

“The bullet pierced the wall. The noise stirred the boy awake, and as soon as he realized that there were two strangers in his room he jumped up.

He started screaming for his dad.

The creature didn't exactly like the idea of his dinner running away though, and it’s fingers curled in a ‘come here’ motion. 

The boy followed - it was like an invisible force was pushing him forward.”

 

“I fired another bullet, but like the first one it changed it's course mid-way and crushed into the wall.

The Nathair curved it's green tongue upwards, licking away remnants of blood that were all the way up on it's cheek.

It was terrifying. I was completely frozen. 

Then I heard someone calling out the boy's name - ‘Felix’. I turned around to see a middle aged man burst through the door. 

When I turned  _ back _ around the boy was already dead in the monster's hands, and it was covered all over in splotches of red that had puffed up and hid his entire face behind some unnatural looking,  _ enormously  _ huge pimples.”

 

“The middle aged man who I presumed was the father pushed passed by me and lunged at the Nathair, but it only did the same to him. It left both their bodies on the ground and started walking in my direction.

That was when Leo turned up. Thank god for his timing. He fired a few shots too, but it manipulated all of them, this time towards us. We barely dodged them. Well, more like Leo pulled me out of the way.  A bullet grazed his shoulder, but luckily that was it for the damage.”

 

“The Nathair didn't seem like it cared for either of us, it just went through us and moved on to its next victims - two sisters  shivering in fear outside their dead brother's room. Killed them too like it was nothing.

Leo came at it with an iron knife and got thrown into a wall and knocked out. 

All that were left now was a woman, the little girl who was hiding behind her, and a teenage girl.

The woman called for her second daughter to get behind her too. her cry was so desperate, it made me shiver all over.”

 

“That's how I met her. That's how I met Bailey.”

____________________________

 

The teen stared at me with an unreadable look in her eyes. Throughout the story, or at least most of it, (Y/N) adapted a distant expression - almost like she was  _ inside  _ of the story itself.

Now though, she seemed to be  _ too _ aware of her surroundings, of the fact that the entire story led right to Bee.

 

I knew they weren't exactly friends. Still - she convinced Dean to let me out the other night to help her.

I would have never believed anyone could have so much power over the hunter just by looking up at him, batting their eyelashes and asking nicely. Well, anyone other than Sam that is. Minor the eyelashes thing.

 

“And..? Bailey and her mom are alive. How did you guys get away?”

Her voice was strangely hoarse, like the question was something that was down her throat all that time and she finally managed to choke it out.

“We… didn't exactly ‘get away’. we all thought we were going to die right then and there to be honest. We thought we were gonna end up like the rest.”

 

“But then the Nathair actually opened its mouth. It looked at the little girl - Sara, still hidden behind her mom, and it licked its lips again. It told us that it had place for one more snack. It said ‘If one of you has the guts to volunteer yourself to me - I'll spare the others.”’

 

“I looked at what was left of the family. The mother was petrified, and it was clear that Bailey wasn't going to pull a Katniss. Sara didn't fully comprehend anything, she didn't know what the Nathair meant by ‘volunteer’, and she..”

I stopped, looking down at the floor. 

“If only I had been  _ faster. _ ”

(Y/N) observed me silently, eyebrow furrowed. Her small hand landed on my shoulder.

“You know it's not your fault, right?”

She whispered, meeting my eyes with worry.

 

It was easy to forgive myself when someone was looking at me with so much compassion. It was distracting.  _ She _ was distracting.

“Look, now you know everything. I need to go. I can't miss this opportunity. “

“Tristan, “

She started, her hand tightening around the sleeve of my shirt. She turned her head away from me,  towards the hallway.  _ “I can't lie to them.” _

 

“Then don't! I'll be back before they wake up, they won't even notice I'm gone! Just don't say anything.”

By the look on her face she was more than doubting me at the moment. 

“Pff, yeah sure. They'll catch you. Believe me - I've been there.”

_ (Y/N)? Causing trouble? Who would've thunk.. _

 

“Come on. Go back to your room,”

Two hands grabbed my shoulders, turning me back around. 

Weird how the tables flip.

“We'll talk with Sam and Dean in the morning and they'll take care of everything. “

“(Y/N), come on - stop it,”

I wriggled out of her hold.

 

“I have to do this. “

__________________________________

 

_ He was serious,  wasn't he? _

You wiped a hand over your forehead the way Dean used to do when he was frustrated. 

“Do you even know how to kill it? “

Tristan’s eyes lit up in victory.

“Ruthenium. “

_ Like the knife I got for Dean?? _

 

“I first planned on getting this special knife from some art collector, but that didn't really work out, “

Yeah.. you knew  _ all  _ about that. He's lucky you got there in time to save him.

Not that you'd ever risk revealing that to him.

You gave him an incredulous look.

 

“Look, I really  _ can  _ do this.”

His eyes were unwavering,  the determination behind them lucid as clear water. 

You thought about it.  _ Really  _ thought about it.

You couldn't bring yourself to wake up the guys, but lying to them was not an option either.

_ Lying to Tristan though…? _

 

You're doing it for his own good, you reminded yourself.

“Fine. I'm coming with you. “

The boy In front of you laughed as loudly as he could without risking waking up Sam and Dean.

You frowned, feeling your eyebrow rise.

“Come on (Y/N)! Don't look at me like that! Do you think I have a death wish?”

 

“You're planning to go after a dangerous monster alone. Yes, I think you might. And exactly what do you think I could possibly do to screw this up for you?”

 

“It's not what  _ you _ would do that scares me.”

Tristan trailed off.

You caught on soon enough with an amused smirk that he didn't seem to like.

“You  _ do  _ realize that even if I stayed and didn't say anything they will still realize that you're gone. I mean, you don't honestly believe that you can finish this hunt before morning, right?”

 

He seemed to be fighting within himself. You figured he really  _ did _ just say that line to convince you to let him go. 

He was screwed either way.

“Fine. You can come. “

 

_________________

 

After snatching your phone from your bedside table and tucking it into the pocket of your hoodie, you hurried over to Tristan who was quietly tapping his feet on the floor in impatience, standing next to the front door.

Without saying anything he silently turned the doorknob over.

He looked back at you, giving you a chance to back out. 

You shook your head in response and he gave you a sullen frown, but opened the door nonetheless. 

 

The cold night air hit your cheeks in a spiel of disagreement over your latest decision, but you shrugged it off with a tightening of your beanie over your head.

You had a plan. 

Yes, it was dependant a lot on where the Nathair was hiding,  but you knew you could handle it.

Even if you weren't planning to rely on your shape shifting powers on this one, they still gave you confidence.  Especially because over the last couple of days you've tested them out a little - just to get an idea of what you could do.

 

You learned,  for example, that you could change certain parts of your body without having to shape shift entirely into the person whose form you were taking. 

It became a lot less scary when you familiarized with all the frankly awesome things you could now do.

You knew that most shapeshifters couldn't do half of what you could.

Cas told you that it was because of your direct bloodline to the alpha.

 

“You coming?”

Tristan’s voice carried over to you much sharper now that he could allow himself to speak in a louder voice. 

You noted that you did indeed fall behind a little. 

You hurried over to his side.

“So where is it?”

The teen shoved his hands into the pockets of his coat. You thought he did it to get them warm, but then they came back out, one of them holding car keys.

You forgot he was even old enough to drive. 

 

“it's a short walk to where Leo parked it. He works in that small carpentry shop down the road.”

You nodded, not really satisfied with the answer, but realizing that unless his car had one of those black reinforced windows like the ones you saw in the movies - you were going to find out the location of the monster sooner or later. 

 

It was a dark night. The moon was encrusted with layers on top of layers of clouds that probably would have looked nice and cotton-candy like at day time, but right now, with the darkness heavy over your heads, it resembled a pastry that was left far too long in a burning oven.

“Do you have a plan?”

You asked, though truthfully it didn’t really matter.

Tristan glanced at you from the corner of his eye, his lips stretched in a tight frown. He was probably expecting you to ask.

 

“I do.”

_ No need to elaborate huh? _

You shot him an annoyed glare, but he turned his face the other way. It crushed into one of his perfect cheekbones instead. 

_ Perfect??  _ You shook your head.  _ Stop (Y\N)! He has a girlfriend! _

“Do you at least have the Ruthenium?”   
You hurried. The teen tugged something out of his pocket again, this time a brown paper bag. He held it to you.

 

You took it into your hands, expecting to find some form of weapon - like the knife you got Dean, but instead a simple crystal peeked at you from under the paper. 

It was silvery-grey, familiar to you in it’s unique glint. It’s edges weren't especially pointy though. Killing a bloodthirsty monster with it seemed pretty ludicrous if you were being realistic about it. Sure - it had  _ some _ sharpness to it, but so did your fingernails after you trimmed them.

You were glad you weren’t relying on it.

 

“What, you aren’t gonna say anything?”   
Tristan gave you a suspicious look, and you realized that you either looked like you were scheming up a plan of your own, or like you were being awfully careless.

“You seem confident.”   
You shrugged, trying to go for the latter. 

He didn't really seem like he was buying it.

Luckily though, you were already in the carpentry shop's entrance. 

It looked kind of eery at night.

 

Leo had one of those old pickup trucks, the kind with enough space in the back to load in all the furniture you had in your room.

It was a light shade of green, the consistency of it broken by scratches and peeled paint. 

“So your brother works here?”

It was a rhetorical question- you were just trying to make small talk. You hated prolonged silences. Hated them even more when they happened with Tristan. 

 

“He lives a five minute walk away, in that tall building by the park. He always parks it here though - this way he has a reserved parking space.”

His answer found it's way to you from the other side of the truck, accompanied by the sound of keys being rattled around to fit into place.

“Hop in,”

 

You almost climbed into the front seat, stopping yourself at the last second.  It'll be much harder to text Sam and Dean if you did that. You needed to be careful. 

As you made yourself comfortable in the back seat, tightening the seatbelt on, you could tell your friend was giving you a look in the rear view mirror.

“Dean never lets me sit in the front. “

Came your lame answer.

 

“You ever get the feeling he babies you too much?”

You smiled.

“Only all the  _ time _ .”

The sound of the engine being brought to life drowned out your reply a little,  but Tristan still heard your gleeful tone.

“You two have a weird idea of what a healthy amount of caring should be. “

You disagreed - you never felt more healthy your entire life. Dean’s ‘babying’ was where you got most of your happiness these days. It was your own personal pool of sunshine.

 

“So how far away is that hideout anyway? Or are you planning to never tell me?”

He sighed, maneuvering the truck back into the road.

“Maple street. “

“ _ What? _ ”

Maple street was merely 10 minutes away! Was the creature really that close the whole time?

You felt like someone was trailing an ice cube up and down your back. It made you shiver.

 

You tugged your phone out halfway, aiming a careful glance at the rearview mirror. 

Thankfully, Tristan was entirely focused on the road for now.

Before anything else, you quickly tapped the top of the screen - muting it. 

Your fingers hovered over your contacts list, considering for a moment to text Charlie instead. 

_ No.. she lives too far away. She won't make it in time. _

 

“What are you fiddling with back there?”

You nearly jumped, shoving the phone back into your pocket and plastering an innocent smile on your lips.

“Nothing. It's just this hoodie is old and it has some loose strings. It's fun to pull on them.”

He met your eyes in the mirror. Held them there with some inexplicable force.

“I forgot!“

You threw the paper bag into his startled hands.

That seemed to throw him off.

“ _ You _ should probably hold unto it.”

 

Maple street was pretty short,  connecting to it's neighboring streets gradually,  little by little, to the point where you probably wouldn't notice you entered a different one if you weren't paying attention. At night it was even harder to tell.

You texted Dean the address and to bring the knife with him, sending it in multiple texts so that hopefully he would notice it sooner.

“We're here.”

Tristan announced, parking the truck at the side of the road and jumping out. You followed close behind.

 

The house in front of you was just your regular kansas house - wooden, rectangular roof, two floors tall.

A lonely swing set rested graven into the soil, dormant as its surroundings. 

“Ready?”

_ Nope. _

“Yes.”

_____________________________

 

Back at the bunker Dean's phone was buzzing insistently. It rattled besides his head, repetitive like an annoying mantra.

He turned, pulling his blanket with him.  _ Let me sleep!  _ He begged his already cluttered mind. After everything that went on in the last couple of weeks he was really hoping he wouldn’t have to find himself drowning in even  _ more  _ mess.

The buzzing kept going, and he turned around again, this time throwing his arms around his pillow and plastering it above his forehead. He laid there for a minute, counting the number of spasms his phone gave before it finally stopped.

_ Thank fucking god. _

 

He let out a tired yawn, drifting back off into sleep.

_____________________________

 

You nervously followed Tristan through the unlocked front door, walking so close behind him that you were almost stepping on his ankles. 

You couldn’t help it though - you were  _ scared _ .

_ Why would anyone leave their front door unlocked in the middle of the night?  _

You couldn’t help but feel that it was expecting you to come. That it was lurking somewhere in the shadows, watching you. You shivered.

 

The house was dark and it took your eyes a couple of seconds to see more than just blockish shapes.

Near the door was a wide cabinet for shoes. Most of it’s space was not put to use though. The only thing that  _ was _ there were a pair of kid-sized running shoes.

On top of it sat a withered plant of a kind in it’s porcelain home, covered in varying thickness of spiderwebs.

 

The further you explored the house the more abandoned it looked.

All the furniture was covered in dust - it looked like no one had been there for years, and yet;

On the wall was the latest, biggest plasma screen to have come out, the leather sofa situated in front of it was one you recognized from a recent TV ad, and you were pretty sure that sitting there on the coffee table was a Game Of Thrones season 7 poster. 

Tristan tapped on your shoulder, pointing to the wooden stairs leading up to the second floor. A window to your left allowed some light to grate the stairs, bringing everything you didn’t notice before into focus.

 

There was a long trail of dark red starting at it’s strongest at the bottom and getting lighter as it went, like someone used a human-sized brush that ran out of ink near the end. And there was this smell… this awful  _ smell _ .

You could feel your heart starting to beat. It felt as if it was throwing itself against your ribcage like it was trying to knock it down the way you would a jammed door.

You just hoped that Sam and Dean got there soon..

 

All of a sudden you heard a noise coming from upstairs. Tristan immediately positioned himself in front of you, his right hand clutching the crystal. It sounded like footsteps. 

You met your friend’s eyes, trying to decide your next move without having to risk alerting the Nathair to your presence, but when the boy took his first step up the stairs you knew that there was a big issue of miscommunication between you - because  _ your  _ feet were nailed into the ground.

He looked back at you, mouthing ‘ _ come on _ ’.

You followed despite yourself.

 

The wooden boards creaked slightly under your step, and you were so strung up that if anything sudden happened right now you might scream so loud that you would wake up the entire neighborhood. Which  _ could  _ be a good thing, a stranger coming to investigate should at least up your survival chance a little.

Tristan came to a stop at the end of the stairs, looking around and then back at you. He held his hand to you, noticing the way your knees were about to buckle before you did. You took it with a grateful tug on your lips.

 

It was much more dusty now and the dirty air was invading your nose and your mouth, clogging them up and making you want to cough. You managed to keep it in just barely, but the same couldn’t be said for Tristan.

One of his hands jumped to cover his mouth, but you knew it was too late when you heard the footsteps getting closer.

_ “Shit shit shit!” _

He cursed under his breath.

“(Y\N) get behind me!”   
  


_ *Thump* *Thump* *Thump* *Thump* _

The footsteps sounded like they belonged to a  _ running  _ person now.

You froze in place, your hand clutching Tristan’s so tight that he let out a wince of pain. He didn’t try to get away though, his fingers wrapped around yours in the exact same manner. You both held your breath, standing as close as you could get to one another.

“Who’s there?!”   
A feminine voice demanded. A door to your right swung open, hitting the wall with a loud bang that reverberated and echoed through your very bones.

“Stop hiding, you filthy monster! Come out!”   
  


When you were staring into the barrel of a gun all of a sudden you almost fainted.

“(Y\N)?!”   
Tristan took the woman’s moment of confusion to shove you behind his back and spread his arms to the sides. Her voice was familiar though.. Your head snapped up in surprise.

“Jasmine?”   
The short woman put her gun away, eyes scouting the area behind your back.

“What are you doing here? Why are you here without Sam or Dean?”   
  


By now Tristan started recognizing her from the time he met her back at the store. You could tell he was still awfully confused though. He didn’t know she was a hunter.

A childish laughter passed by your ear all of a sudden, and you clung to Tristan’s tense form.

“Where did that come from?”

Jasmine snapped into action, grabbing both your hands and rushing you back towards the staircase.

“You two gotta leave!”   
  


The laughter got louder and louder. It sounded crazed. It chilled you to the bones. You were all  _ for  _ Jasmine’s plan, seeing as Sam and Dean were nowhere in sight yet, but the hand you tried to pull into safety belonged to a very obstinate individual, apparently.

“Tristan come on! Give her the crystal and lets go!”

“The crystal?”   
The huntress asked, observing you with solemn eyes. 

“Yes, it’s the only thing that can hurt it!”

You turned to your stubborn friend. 

 

“Tristan please just give it to her,”

You begged. You felt like Samwise gamgee trying to convince Frodo to cast the ring into the fire.

The laughter got even louder, sounding closer now. A gust of dust-filled air hit you head on, getting past the barrier of your open palm and into your eyes. It seemed to be circling around your body, wrapping around it like a rope.

All of a sudden your feet disjointed from the floor - it was like gravity losing to an extremely powerful magnetic force.

“(Y\N)!”   
Tristan called, trying to grab your flailing hand.

 

“You seem nice miss, but I feel like eating. It’s an hour past dinner already, and I’m  _ hungry _ .”

The childish voice echoed between the walls of the house. 

In a matter of seconds you found yourself inside the room Jasmine came out of before, the door sealed shut behind you. ____________________________________________________________________________

  
  


You finally saw it.

The Nathair.

It looked just as Tristan described it to you - a young boy with skin as white as snow and a pair of piercing eyes.

Behind it you spotted three dead bodies, all covered with fungi-looking spots.

The creature darted it’s long tongue out.

You heard Tristan and Jasmine calling your name from the other side of the door, banging on it, but you knew it was in vain - an enormous amount of dust spilled into the cracks and lodged it in place.

 

“Any last words?”

It swished it's finger.

your breath caught somewhere near your lungs - it didn't even make it to your throat. You couldn't move, it's chains of dust kept you floating towards the pale creature,  orbiting closer and closer.   
“No?”

It questioned, looking at you in boredom. It shrugged.

 

“Always found it a little disturbing to hear your desert speak back to you anyways.”

You shut your eyes tightly. 

His fangs pierced your neck, making you yelp in pain. 

The feeling was similar to getting a blood test with huge needles instead, and it reminded you of that nightmare you used to have as a kid - the one where the nurse decides that a couple of small tubes aren't enough to test your blood, so she pulls out a bottle big enough to fill a few gallons. 

 

It was weird though - you didn't exactly feel like you were about to die. If anything it felt like for every drop of blood that was taken from you, your body generated tenfold.

All of a sudden you felt yourself being thrown to the ground. 

You barely even registered it.

“Ow!”

You slowly opened your eyes to look at the Nathair who was now spitting your blood out in disgust. 

 

“What  _ are  _ you?”

You stood up, your body radiating heat. You felt like you were about to explode.

_ What is happening to me?! _

“I'm,  I'm,”

You stuttered,  wiping a hand over your sweaty forehead. Your eyes widened, your hand was - every bit of skin that you could see was  _ red. _

 

_ “Hot… I'm so  _ **_hot_ ** _.” _

You felt like you were inside of an oven. Like you were burning alive. Like you were standing inches from the sun. 

Like you  _ were  _ the sun.

You screamed in pain.

The Nathair backed up, it's red hurt tongue curled around its hand.

This was  _ not  _ one of the powers you practiced at home.

This was  _ much  _ more powerful,  and impossible to control. 

 

You had to release some of that heat.  _ Had  _ to!

You looked at the cowering creature,  coming to a decision. 

You grabbed it by it's shirt, pulling it up in front of you with ease.

“N-no! Please,  let me go! I'll leave you and your friends alone! I promise-”

You cut its pleads off with a fist to its stomach.

It moaned in pain as it crushed into the wall.

 

The heat lessened. 

“You can't k-kill me,”

It coughed, spitting out blood. Its own blood this time.

_ Maybe.  _  It wasn't really about killing it though. Not at the moment. 

You threw another punch, feeling an enormous sense of release almost immediately.

_ “(Y/N)!” _

You heard Tristan scream from the other side of the door.

_ “(Y/N) are you ok?!” _

 

You looked at your arm, noting your skin was starting to change back to its original color.

You were running out of time.

“Tristan try to see if you can slide the crystal under the door!”

_ “What? _

Came his muffled reply. The Nathair stood up again, wiping blood off its lips and straightening it's shirt.

“Just do it!”

 

All of a sudden the door broke down, the dust having disappeared along with most of its master’s power.

Tristan and Jasmine charged in.

“Tristan give me the crystal!”

You cried again.

The boy looked at you with wide eyes,  but sprinted in your direction anyway.

You almost had the crystal in your hand.  _ Almost _ .

The Nathair sent him crashing into the wall, knocking him out cold at the last second.

 

“You're a little too late.”

It spat, clearly angry now. It raised its finger, swishing it in my direction. I joined Tristan against the wall  with a wince of pain, but managed to maintain my consciousness nonetheless, thankfully. 

I watched as Jasmine made a leap towards us, picking the crystal up, her eyes burning in fury.

“You will  _ pay  _ for what you did to my Matt!”

 

The Nathair grinned at her, its fangs glinting in the darkness of the room.

“Was that his name? I've never been one to keep a food diary..”

Jasmine lunged at it, the crystal held high. 

Her hand stopped mid motion. 

“You disgusting monster! Let go of me!”

The woman screamed when she found her body constricted by whirlwinds of dust.

 

“I would, but I'm still hungry.”

You weren't gonna lie - the huntress was  _ not  _ on the list of people you loved, or even liked for that matter, but you knew who's list she  _ did _ make.

“Wait!”   
You screamed, pushing yourself off the ground with strength you didn’t really have. Because it wasn’t yours.

Not really.

The Nathair stopped with it’s hand wrapped around Jasmine’s neck.

 

“A shapeshifter..?”

The hunter’s eyes snapped in your direction. You weren’t planning on ever telling her, but this was a life or death situation.

You closed your eyes, envisioning one specific wrestler that even a person who wasn’t into those shows would know. A person like you, who spends a little too much time on the internet. 

You felt your body change, your insides rearranging. If only Dean could see you now.... 

 

“I just have one question for you. Are you ready?”

The creature raised its eyebrow.

“Ready for what?”   
You took a deep breath.   
  


_ “Are you ready for this sunday night when WWE champion John Cena defends his title in the WWE suuuuuper slam!” _

 

____________________________________________________________________________

 

Dean was a little pissed when he got those series of texts from his old flame, but after forcing himself out of bed and scrolling down the urgent messages, he was officially completely and utterly awake.

He woke Sam up immediately, grabbing their coats, the Ruthenium knife as per (Y\N)’s request, and his car keys. 

The younger hunter stumbled out of bed with a hand wiping away his eyes. Dean decided to help - throwing one of the coats at him and waiting impatiently for him to get it on properly before inevitably giving up zipping it up for him himself.

 

Waking him up was much easier when he explained what was going on on their hurried way to the Impala. The giant adapted his worried frown. The one that was almost  _ too  _ difficult to look at because of the incredible amount of undiluted fear that was in it.

“It’ll be ok. Jasmine’s with them.”

He reminded him, speeding his baby down Grove Avenue. He sighed in relief when he managed to make out the sign that read ‘Maple Street’ under one of the few lamp posts.

“Two minutes and we’re there.”   
_________________________

 

You managed to throw a couple of good punches in, but you knew it wasn’t going to be enough to do any real damage. Nothing would. Nothing other than the crystal still resting on the floor besides your enemy.

The muscles you had grown were real, but now that you had a first row view into the mind of the man behind the overused meme - you had to side with the legitimate theory that those wrestling matches really were  _ fake _ . This guy had shit instincts and even shitter fighting strategies.

_ Dean is going to be bummed out if I tell him.. _

 

The Nathair dodged most of your attacks with ease, a smug smirk never leaving his face.

You threw your fist up into his chin, knocking it up a little, only for it to use your close proximity to one another to it’s side.

All of a sudden you felt a weirdly strong hand surrounding your own, and you found yourself being thrown into the wall once more.

You gasped in pain, you back taking most of the damage. You felt something snap there, and you  _ really _ didn’t want to know what it was.

 

The creature stalked closer to you, licking it’s lips.

“I thought you’d be more of a challenge after that unexpected heat wave, but what do you know? You’re just one of those people who smash all the buttons without any strategy. You’re probably lousy at Street Fighte-”   
The Nathair stopped mid sentence, blood oozing from it’s chest. You looked at it wide eyed as it fell to the floor, keeping its form for a couple of seconds before disintegrating into a large pile of dust.

You sighed in relief.

_ Jasmine! Thank god! _

 

“Thank-”   
A hand gripped your throat. 

“I won’t let you hurt Dean.”   
You struggled against her unexpected grasp, gasping for air. She only tightened it.

“How long have you been lying to them?!”

She barked.

You could feel yourself starting to lose consciousness, your body returning to its original form as the power to move slipped out of you. You watched in horror as she pulled out a silver knife.

“I’ll kill you before you get the chance to do anything, you disgusting  _ monster! _ ”

 

You shut your eyes.

**“Jasmine!”**

You have never heard Dean sound this angry. The hands around your neck loosened a bit, giving you the chance to swallow back in some air. You looked at the brothers standing at the other side of the room - both in their hunter mode; Guns out and pointed at their enemy.

_ Jasmine is our enemy…? _

You couldn’t quite get that into your head yet.

_ “Let go of her right now or I put a bullet in your head.” _

 

The woman gave you a pointed glare.

“Don’t you see? This… this horrible creature has been lying to you!”

She tightened her hands back around your neck, making your lungs feel like they were about to cave in on themselves.

The pain was  _ excruciating _ . You tried to pry them away but with not much success.

_ “Jasmine I swear to god,” _

Dean cursed. 

 

“Dean, just listen to me would you?! She’s a shapeshifter! I’ve seen it with my own eyes!”   
“I know she is!”   
The room fell silent. Jasmine stared at her former lover with shock.

“You knew?”   
“Yes.”   
He confirmed, making his way over to where she had you pinned against the wall with one gentle step at a time.

“Dean, what is  _ wrong  _ with you? She’s a monster - she’s the bad guy here. Why are you pointing your gun at  _ me? _ ”

 

Dean shook his head.

“She’s just a  _ kid _ .”   
He crouched down besides her, laying a hand on hers, releasing you from her chokehold.

“A monster is a monster Dean..”   
Jasmine insisted, looking into his eyes. Trying to make him understand.

“Don’t use that term with her. It doesn’t describe anything about her.”

Your eyes started watering, all of the pain and emotional stress you’ve been under for the last couple of hours washed away at Dean’s protective tone.

 

“She’s a good girl, and she deserves more than dying in this filthy place.”   
Jasmine sighed, bringing her hands up to cup the hunter’s face.

“Dean.. if you won’t do it..”   
Alarm bells went off in your brain as soon as those words left her mouth. Dean didn’t seem to be catching on however, and you couldn’t physically talk yet.

You tried, opening your mouth in an attempt to scream, but no voice came out.

You watched as she aimed the knife in your direction in the shadows, making sure he won’t see it coming.

 

**_Bang!_ **

 

Her mouth opened in shock, blood spilling out from between her lips, and then -

She collapsed into the floor.

Motionless.

 

Dean’s eyes widened at the sight, a storm of different emotions passing through them.

“She was going to do it.”   
Sam’s voice alerted you to his presence. You hadn't paid attention to him until he fired his gun.

“I’m sorry.”

He continued, walking over to the two of you and kneeling down at your side.

He carefully scooped you into his arms, giving his brother a few more minutes to recover.

You clutched onto his coat desperately. A familiar hand came down to wipe your tears in response. 

“Shhh.. I got you.”

He quickly took his coat off and wrapped it around your body.   
  


Fixing his arms under your legs, the giant lifted you gently into his arms, holding you close to his chest.

_ “De- Dea-” _ _   
_ You choked out, watching his tense back as he looked down at his dead former lover. 

Sam pressed his lips to your forehead for a moment, tightening the coat around you.

“Give him some time..”

 

________________________________

 

Sam carried you over to the Impala, setting you in his lap, and the two of you sat there in silence for what felt like forever.

You didn’t know what to say. What to think.

A part of you felt responsible for Jasmine’s death. You felt guilty. 

You didn’t know how to deal with it. 

You never wanted to be the cause for Dean’s pain, and there was a  _ lot  _ of pain in his eyes when you left him in the house.

Jasmine wasn’t a monster.

 

She was  _ human _ , and yet here you were - the real monster in this scenario, and you were still breathing. Still alive.

You felt sick.

“I’m s-sorry.”   
You sobbed, clutching at Sam’s hand for dear life. 

The hunter wrapped you up in his big arms, burying his nose in your hair.

“It was necessary, and  _ I'm  _ the one who killed her.”   
He hugged you tighter.

“This is on  _ me _ . I’m not letting you feel responsible for this one.”

 

You were about to argue when you felt your hair getting wet. You fought your way around to face him, and your breath got stuck in your throat.

He was  _ crying _ .

_ “Sam..” _

You whispered, bringing your hands up to cup the sides of his face. You wiped away a tear.

“You did what you had to do. You just said so yourself!”   
His hands tightened around your waist.

“We’re both responsible.”   
You announced.

 

“What? No (Y\N). This was  _ my  _ gun that was pointed at her. You had nothing to do with it.”   
You shook your head, capturing his eyes with yours.

“I had  _ everything  _ to do with it, but,”   
You started, shutting the giant up before he could argue.

“But.. since we’re both responsible.. I think it’ll be a little easier to deal with it. Because, see?”   
You gestured to Sam’s coat still wrapped around your body.

“We can share this guilt like we share everything else.”

 

Before you could say anything else, Dean emerged out of the house, carrying a knocked out Tristan over his back. 

He walked over to the car, pulling a door open before loading your friend in the back seat. He then climbed in front of the wheel, not saying a single word.

“Dean,”

Sam started, looking at his brother with a concerned frown.

“It’s ok Sammy. You did what you had to.”

 

“I’m sorry!”   
You choked out before you could stop yourself, the guilt so heavy on your heart that it felt like it was being crushed by a huge boulder.

Finally he looked at you. His eyes were wet, pained beyond words, but he gave you a gentle smile.

“I don’t blame neither of you.”

His right hand found it’s way to your head, giving your hair a light ruffle while his left slapped Sam’s shoulder weakly. 

 

“Just..”   
He started, searching for the right words.

“Just, for now, could you guys stay quiet? I need to..”

He trailed off.

“Of course.”

Sam replied instantly. He picked you up again, sitting you down in the back seat, before joining you himself. 

The ride back to the bunker was as silent as the night outside.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? What do you guys think? Please please comment if you have the time! It means a whole lot to me!


	32. We're  F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahh... you know me by now. I suck at summaries..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait guys! Hope you enjoy~  
> Don't forget to comment so I know what you thought about it :)

Dean stared at the un-lit fireplace in front of him, observing the odd choice of decoration it sported;

Black and white ceramic tiles that seemed to belong more on a wall of a bathroom, and a wood-encrusted cover with an array of complex carvings embossed in it. Above it rested a dirty mirror, sank a little too deep into the wood.

He couldn’t remember the last time he stayed at a bed & breakfast.

 

The place was nice. Better than any of the countless motels he visited, that’s for sure, even if the decor was questionable.

When he passed through the corridor upon arrival he managed to sneak a peek at some of the other rooms - each displaying completely different sets of furniture, none of which seemed to go together.

His had a king sized bed that was neatly covered with floral sheets, and a pillowcase that had about a dozen different designs of plaid printed on it. A small coffee table accompanied by a grey chair took up a large area of the room, and at the corner stood a little cabinet with an old TV resting on top.

 

He couldn’t bring himself to watch anything though.

It’s been two weeks or so since he left for Colorado. He thought so at least - he couldn't really tell if he was being honest with himself. The days sort of blended into one another. 

Sunrise turning into sunset, day turning night. What was the difference anyway?  He failed to see the point of commemorating each day with its own, specific name.

 

A gentle knock on his door snapped him out of his thoughts.

He abandoned his spot on the bed and stumbled over to turn the handle, revealing a brown haired woman holding onto a silver tray.

She flushed him a smile and walked over to the coffee table, setting down his breakfast - a hamburger, a plate of fries, and a boiling hot cup of coffee.

 

“If you need anything, I'm just a phone call away. “

He nodded, preferring to stay quiet.

The woman nodded back before turning towards the door. She stopped a moment before walking out, however. 

“Would you like me to bring up some traveling brochures? there are plenty of places to visit around here..”

She wore a white button down tucked into a navy blue skirt,  and she was fiddling with the hem of it.

 

“I know it's not my place to say, but you seem to be spending most of your time in your room. it could do you some good to step out for a little fresh air.”

Dean sighed, his eyes landing on the name tag pinned to her blouse. 

“Judy, was it? I appreciate your concern,  but I'm fine. I like this room. It's quiet. “

‘Judy’ looked disappointed, but left him alone without adding anything else.

 

With the room silent again, the tired hunter sat down to eat.

The burger tasted bland. 

It reminded him of (Y/N)’s latest obsession: Gordon Ramsay videos.

For a while there she actually managed to get them to replace their traditional ‘Bitch’ and ‘Jerk’ with other insults, like ‘Donut’ and ‘Pillock’ and ‘Donkey’.

 

He wondered how they were doing.

He didn't want to hurt them, but he just couldn't bring himself to stay at the bunker either. He needed privacy, the space to mourn, and doing that was practically impossible with the way their worried eyes followed him everywhere he went.

He took another bite out of his hamburger before helping himself to another long gulp of coffee.

 

His hand hovered over his phone for the fifth time today. If that waitress had accidentally spilt his coffee over it he would've been overjoyed. 

No such luck though. 

He took out the battery before he started driving,  not wanting his worried brother to track him down, but the longer he put off turning it on again the quicker his own mind started to clutter with worry.

 

He doubted Sam took on a new case with him being gone. Someone needed to look after little (Y/N) after all.  _ Especially  _  with the whole Tristan thing.

He liked the kid, but he could forget about getting any closer to her than he already had if he knew what was good for him. Which was very likely not the case after the whole Nathair thing.

If he had the capacity to take on any other emotion he would probably be seething right about now. 

But he didn’t, so Tristan was safe for now.

 

He picked up the phone, turning it over to place the battery back in place. 

The light emanating from it felt so unfamiliar he might as well have been born in the first ice age.

One voice message and two texts.

He expected to find more than four times the amount, but as he scrolled down to read them he understood why, and a soft smile managed to escape him.

 

_ ‘Hey Dean. I hope you're doing ok.. I know I probably can't really help you with anything right now, but I hope that you know that you can always talk to me if you want. _

_ I understand if you don't though. You need space. I get it. Sam says that we should let you be for a while… anyways, take as much time as you need. _

 

  * __(Y/N)’__



 

The message dated back to two days after he left.

The next one did too, but it was much shorter than (N/Y)’s.

_ ‘Two weeks and I'm coming after you Jerk. _

 

  * __Bitch’__



 

Finally,  Dean listened to the voice message, which dated back to only two days ago.

 

_ “Dean, it’s Rosaline. Something’s wrong with Leo. I think it’s the last case he took on - something involving a witch, I think she cursed him - please, you know I wouldn’t ask anything of you if it weren’t important. I told Tristan some bull to cover up all the strange behaviour, but last night - I, he killed someone Dean! Please call me back as soon as you hear this message.” _

 

____________________________________________________________________________

 

The small Burger place was not as bad as you’d thought I’d be. 

The red sofas scattered near the windows were comfortable enough and thankfully sported no weird stains left by former customers, and the atmosphere was pleasant. 

As you chewed on your breakfast you sneaked a glance at the giant sitting across the table from you. 

He moved his fork through his salad listlessly, skewering up a tomato only to watch it slide back into his bowl.

You wished you had something cheerful to say to better his grim mood, but as it was you had absolutely  _ nothing _ . 

 

Normally breakfest was a loud affair, but for the last couple of days you found yourself glancing down at your phone every few seconds or so. Today was no different.

You tapped a finger over the orange Whatsapp notification, tapping once more on Tristan’s half hidden text. He’s been texting you an awful lot since the incident with the Nathair.

_ ‘I think I found a new case. Wanna help me research?’ _

You glanced up at Sam again, watching as he pulled out one of the newspapers stacked in the little magazine holder sitting on the ground.   

 

_ ‘What do you think you’re after? I can probably sneak a few books out of the library.’ _

 

Sam wouldn't notice,  that's for sure. Days like these when he read the news for… politics? Articles about the extinction of panda bears? Whatever it was he was normally interested in, and not looking for odd cases, were days that you had more of a chance to sneak books out of the library and study them in secret. 

 

These days didn't come very often though. The brothers were usually very quick in catching you and giving you one form of scolding or another. 

Some days you'd feel like you were walking around in the forbidden section of the Hogwarts library or something, and you'd start to wonder if by staring at the invisibility cloak from the movies long enough you could transform your clothes  _ as well _ as your body.

 

“(Y/N) are you ok?”

Your head snapped up.

Sam lifted an eyebrow, his eyes searching your face.

“Is your hamburger not cooked enough? You've been making faces for the entire time we've been here..”

_ You have? _

“It's good. I just need to put more ketchup on it or something. 

 

You grabbed the red bottle from the table and squeezed some over your meal, thinking of where you'd best meet up with Tristan.  You never thought you'll  _ ever  _ be on speaking terms, much less be speaking with him every  _ day.  _

A chill ran through you at the thought,  but you couldn't quite detect the reason behind it.

 

“(Y/N)-!”

A large hand stilled your own, and a second snatched the bottle of ketchup away from you.

“Hey!”

You glared at the giant who was looking at you like you grew a second head.

_ I wonder if I could pull that off.. _

“You didn’t even remove the bun!”

“I forgot. Lay off.”   
  


You snatched the ketchup back and removed the bun.

Your thoughts wandered back to Tristan. And Bailey. You’ve been hating her even more lately, and you haven’t even seen her for two weeks straight.

“(Y\N).. You didn’t take off the cap.”   
Your cheeks flashed in embarrassment.Damn, you’ve been more distracted than you thought you were.

The hunter frowned, looking worried. He played with his salad some more.

“He’ll be back soon. I know he will.”

 

“Sure”

Truth be told, you’ve been doing everything you could  _ not _ to think about Dean. 

The older hunter was barely ever brought up in conversation for the past two weeks.

“Was he… the same when your father died?”   
You knew it was pretty insensitive to ask, but your curiosity won over you.

Sam took a long gulp from his coffee before answering, as if the beverage would give him the ability to explain things in a more coherent manner.

 

“Worse.”   
You weren’t going to push. 

Your phone beeped again, but you ignored it for now and put on a smile.

“So.. What’s on our agenda for today?”    
“I don’t know.”   
Sam tilted his head to the side, running a finger through his hair.

“I don’t remember the last time I had nothing to do, and..”

 

You knew what he couldn’t finish saying. It was usually Dean that called the shots. Without him you both lost your confidence. Everything you did felt wrong, because none of it got the elder Winchester's approval.

“I miss him.”   
You couldn’t push those words any deeper than they already were, caged so tightly in your stomach.

Sam stood up and made his way over to your booth, and you smooshed yourself closer to the window so that he could have some space to sit.

Instead of saying anything, he simply squeezed you into his side and under his arm, laying a comforting hand on the top of your head.

You stayed that way for a while. 

 

Then your phone beeped again. You looked up at him cautiously, wondering if it was safe to text Tristan back when he could easily read over your shoulder if he wanted too.

Before you could decide, however, he caught your eyes with his. Held them there.  _ Shit. _

“I know it’s Tristan.”

He announced, making your mind reel with both panic and relief at the same time, if that made any sense. The way he said it didn’t sound angry exactly per say.. Or maybe it did…?

You were about to pick your phone up again, but Sam pierced you with a pointed glare.

 

“Dean isn’t here so I’ll say it instead,”   
“W-What?”   
You tensed, not used to seeing him look at you like that.

“He put you in a lot of danger. I don’t think you should hang out with him anymore.”   
You allowed yourself to roll your eyes  _ only  _ because it was coming out of the younger brother. You’d be dead meat if it was Dean. More dead than the over-fried bacon in your hamburger.

“Thanks for the warning  _ mom. _ ”

 

Sam glared even harder now.

“(Y\N)”

His tone was scolding and cold.

“Look, he’s a good person, even if he doesn’t always seem that way.”   
You couldn’t believe you were actually defending him, but the more you two talked - the more you started to enjoy his company.

You thought he’d be more talkative considering how much he loved his sexual innuendos, but he turned out to be a pretty quiet guy. Not shy-quiet like Yuuki, just quiet-quiet. Quiet- ‘I don’t feel like leaving my ‘mind palace’ to talk to you’, only not in a douchey Sherlock way.

 

“I’m not saying he’s not a good person,”   
Sam started, trying to choose his words carefully.

“If you say he’s a bad influence I  _ swear, _ ”   
You had a feeling that was  _ exactly  _ what he was about to say.

“If you promise me you won’t do any _ more  _ than help him research than that’s the last you’ll hear from me about this.”

He gave you a knowing look that nearly made you start sweating.

“I won’t tell Dean either. But (Y\N),  _ just  _ research. No getting yourself in danger and definitely  _ no  _ boyfriend drama when you’re not even  _ fifteen  _ yet.”

 

“I’ll be fifteen next month!”   
You clapped your hands over your mouth a little too late. Actually  _ way  _ too late. Sam was now looking at you with such an intense mix of anger and worry that you froze up colder than the ice cubes in your diet coke.

_ What were you thinking?! _

“I-I didn’t mean that! He has a girlfriend, obviously nothing can happen between us!”   
You choked out, your heart running a marathon inside your chest. It bumped against your ribcage, squeezed your lungs-

You were pretty damn sure it shouldn’t be able to move that way. 

 

For some reason the fact that the fuming hunter (who looked like steam was  _ literally  _ leaving his body at the moment) took a deep breath before continuing to talk scared you even more.

“(Y\N).”   
You have never hated your name more than you did now. It was so stony and devoid of emotion. There was absolutely  _ nothing  _  pretty about it. No wonder it was your father who chose it.

“You will  _ not  _ get involved with him.”

Before you could even really think about it you found yourself vigorously nodding your head.

The air surrounding you felt like it was lacking in oxygen. It reminded you of the effect a cup covering a lit candle (that candle being Sam) has on the air caged inside. 

 

All of a sudden Sam’s phone started to ring.

_ Thank god. _

He picked it up almost immediately, fumbling with it clumsily and nearly dropping it in the process. It took you a moment, but you quickly realized that the person calling could just might be  _ Dean. _

“Hello,”

He half barks half coughs out. 

And then his face falls.

“Oh hi Elana. How are you?”   
You couldn't see your own expression, but you were pretty sure that if you could it would look very similar to Sam’s.

 

“Sure, just a sec’”

The hunter handed you his phone. You looked up at him quizzically.

“She wants to talk to you.” He provided. 

You haven't heard from your former boss ever since you stopped working. You haven’t had the slightest idea why she would want to speak with you again.

You hesitantly brought the phone up to your ear.

“Elana?”   
  


Instantly the familiar gruff voice escaped the speaker. 

_ “(Y\N)!” _

Elana was a serious smoker, and the fact was obvious as soon as she opened her mouth - either from the stereotypical roughness of her voice, or from the stink of charcoal that wafted over you if you were standing close enough to catch it.

_ “Are you free this afternoon by any chance? Bailey called in sick and we’re short on staff.” _ _   
_ You  _ were _ free, but you really didn’t feel like coming back there. 

 

You didn’t feel like dealing with smart-ass teenagers who tried to bargain with you on set prices you couldn't change if you wanted to. Or with snot nosed-kids that found the floor comfortable enough to lay on and scream. 

You owed her though. No other person would hire a fourteen year old.

“I’m free.”   
You answered, already starting to regret your decision. You hoped your unenthusiastic voice didn’t give you away.

_ “Perfect! You really are a good kid (Y\N)! See you at 16:00 then.” _ __   
  


___________________

 

And so, you found yourself pulling your old apron over your head, fingers reluctantly tying it around your waist.

The store was unusually bustling with customers today and the staff were running around trying to satisfy every single one of them. Mission impossible. There were only four of them - and that included  _ you. _

You made your way over to the cash register, spotting Elena's daughter, who you’ve only seen working once or twice before before, struggling to make the old thing work.

 

“It’s stuck!”

She cursed under her breath, pushing a bunch of buttons in a frenzy.

“Let me try, Jay.  ”   
You offered. You remembered how nervous  _ you  _ were the first time you stood behind the stubborn machine. 

Jade moved out of your way with a grateful look on her face. She wiped a hand over her forehead.

“I accidently closed it before I could give him his change.”   
Thankfully, that was a pretty common problem.

 

“Here, you need to press both those buttons at the same time.”   
You showed her the buttons you were talking about. The young woman let out a sigh of relief.

“Thank you (Y\N). You’re my little lucky charm.”   
After the customer walked off with his change, Jade seemed a little calmer.

“You mind handling the cash register for a while? I feel like I’ll be causing more problems to you guys if you left me with it.”   
“Sure.”   
It was either doing that or unboxing merchandise. Or helping old Mrs. Goldway you spotted from the corner of your eye try to choose between two calendars that were nearly the exact same color. You knew from experience that stuff could take hours.

 

“(Y\N)!”   
Tristan’s voice snapped your head forward in his direction. Your friend jogged over wearing baggy jeans and a ‘Gorillaz’ graphic tee. He waved his hand in the air. 

You shyly waved back, your conversation with Sam still fresh in your mind.

“What are you doing here?”   
You asked, loading a couple of toys into a plastic bag.

The brown haired teen waited impatiently until the customer left before stepping closer to the counter.

“Heard you could use some help.”

He shrugged. 

 

He had one hand buried in the pocket of his pants, and his eyes jumped into and out of your own - nervous. The light pink decorating his cheeks made your heart jump.

_ He’s so cuteee! _

Your thoughts sing songed before you could silence them. They were honey-sweet and pure, so much so that you could almost imagine little angels circling your head holding miniature harps.

_ Snap out of it damn it! _

You scolded yourself, trying to push the excitement of seeing him away.

 

You grabbed an apron from an open drawer and held it up for him, your eyes fixed on the ground.

“Thanks.”

His hand touched yours when he grabbed it, and a million butterflies decided to inhabit your stomach as soon as it did. 

You didn’t understand their logic. There was  _ no way  _ they were capable of surviving the storm that was brewing there. They would die in an instant.

The longer you felt the warmth of his skin against yours, the quicker you began to feel vulnerable. 

 

You pulled your hand back like it was just burned by an oven, and Tristan did the same, chuckling nervously and busying himself with tying the apron on.

“I’ll go see if that old lady needs any help.”

You watched the back of his head as he walked away, likely condemning himself to hours of hair-dresser-esque gossip.

You would’ve warned him if it weren’t for the rate your heart was beating at. 

You’ll save him if he shows any signs of falling asleep. Mrs. Goldway was a formidable enemy to anyone with a normal attention span, and an absolute death penalty to anyone with a less than average one.

 

“How much?”   
You quickly looked away from your friend and made yourself focus on the customer standing in front of you - a young teen with blue eyes and a mess of blond hair. 

He put down a single bottle of coke on the counter and gave you a suggestive smile.

“1.25.”   
You answered, laying the receipt down next to his hand.

“So, where do I need to sign?”   
“Oh for that amount we don’t need your signature.”   
  


To your surprise the blond smirked and walked towards the snack section. 

You watched as he gathered like twenty bags of doritos in his hands, came back and then dropped all of them on the counter. He made the same trip  _ three times. _

There was barely any space left. 

“How about now?”   
You had to remind yourself to close your mouth before a fly could fly in.

“S-sure.”   
  


It took you a full five minutes to bag everything and hand him his credit card back, after which he sent you a smug grin as he scribbled on the receipt.

And then he just walked away.

 

Confused, you were about to pick the receipt up and put it into the cash register when you noticed that he left more than just his signature.

_ ‘Give me a call beautiful _

_ -Dorito guy.’ _

He left you his phone number. You couldn’t help the way your cheeks heated up.

“Man, that lady is a hell of a talker! I barely managed to get away and she still wants my opinion on her second grandson’s fiance!”   


Tristan’s voice barely registered at first.

“(Y\N),”   
Your eyes snapped up. You hid the receipt behind your back in a hurry.

“Y-Yeah. I know right?”   
Tristan looked at you, his gaze closing around your face. He tilted his head to the side, trying to look around your shoulder.

“What are you hiding there?”   
“Nothing!”

 

“Oh come on (Y\N)!”

Before you knew it he walked over to your side of the counter with a playful smile splattered across his face. 

“Let me see!”   
He half ordered-half asked, his hand reaching out and around your back. You evaded him with a surprised yelp.

“No!”   
You dodged another grabt, giggling as his hand accidently brushed your ticklish waist.

Tristan’s smile grew bigger, this time with a predatory glint in his eyes that made your breath catch in your throat.

 

He made for it again. 

You could’ve  _ sworn  _ his hand made more contact with your body than it should've just to catch one  _ silly  _ piece of paper- It lingered a second too long over your waist, the small of your back, innocently brushed through your hair.. 

Eventually he managed to capture your hand, which was raised high above your head.

And then you realized it.

You were basically embracing.

 

You looked up into his eyes as he tried to gather air back into his lungs. 

His cheeks turned pink again, same color as his lips, and your heart bumped against your ribcage with renewed strength. 

_ Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, _   
You distantly felt his hand opening your own and gently dragging out the receipt. 

Before you even realized it he was holding it in front of his eyes.

 

As soon as he looked at the the back of it, you couldn’t read him at all.

“You should call him back.”

You weren't expecting the words to hurt that much. But they did. 

You felt like a rusty knife was just shoved into your heart. 

He took a step back, and the space between you physically hurt you.

“N-Nah, he's not really my type.”

You reasoned. You hoped that would change his behaviour somehow, but if anything it only seemed to make him angry. 

 

“Right. Because you would normally keep the number of a guy you don’t like.”   
He shoved the receipt back into your hands before turning his back to you.

“Better get back to work.”   
“Wait!”

You heard yourself saying, your heart one step ahead of your brain. You quickly ran in front of him.

He eyed your distraught expression with an annoyed frown. 

“What? It’s ok you know. It’s not like it matters. We’re friends. If you wanna go out with that guy I’ll completely support you.”   
  


You didn’t know what you wanted him to say - but it certainly wasn’t that. 

_ It’s probably for the best though. We can never be together as long as he’s seeing Bailey. I’ve seen the way he looks at her.  _

_ I don’t stand a chance. _

You lowered your head, pushing back tears.

_ Where  _ was  _ Bailey anyways? I know she called in sick.. But then why is Tristan here with  _ me  _ when he could be taking care of  _ her _? _   
“Right. Still, I don’t plan on calling him.”   
To strengthen your point you scrunched up the paper and threw it into the little garbage bin near the counter.

 

“Do whatever you like.”   
You nodded, keeping in the urge to try to convince him further.

_ We’re friends (Y\N). F.R.I.E.N.D.S. _

You could have been imagining it, but he looked just a little less angry when the receipt was nowhere in sight anymore.

“Hey..”   
You started, hesitant.

“I know it’s not really my business, but how is Bailey doing? Is she ok?”   
  


You both knew you were talking about her emotional state rather than her physical. Tristan didn’t seem to like it. He looked at you one last time before walking away.

 

“It really  _ isn’t  _ your business.”   
____________________________________________________________________________

 

You sat against the sofa, your knees folded, roped into your chest by your quivering hands. 

Sam had been closed up in his room researching for the past two hours since you’ve come back from work, and you didn’t want to disturb him.

You missed Dean more than ever now. You wondered how he was doing, if he was missing you too. You wondered what he’d say if he saw you right now.

You were craving his comfort more than anything. 

You wanted his soft words, his chest to lean onto. His gentle hand brushing through your hair.

 

You squeezed your knees tighter.

Tristan’s words had hurt. You weren’t prepared for that, and the way he looked at you then - like you were nothing important - like you were just something boring he caught from the corner of his eye - it all just intensified it.

It changed so quickly it almost made you forget the way he glanced at your lips for a second when he caught you.

_ Did I imagine it? _

 

You allowed a tear to slide out, feeling extremely tired all of a sudden. You let out a long yawn, feeling your eyes slowly close, the wetness spilling out gluing them shut.

 

____________________

 

When you woke up you found yourself in your bed, tucked under into your blankets - hugged by them really. It was a bear hug, and it took you a moment to disentangle yourself. When you did, you decided on getting yourself some much needed breakfast. Your stomach was rumbling.

You made your way into the kitchen, spotting Sam who was already gulping down a cup of coffee.

His fingers clicked impatiently on the keyboard, his grey laptop resting a little too close to his face. His eyes were red.

“Morning.”   
  


You greeted, grabbing a box of Cheerios out of a cabinet behind him and setting it down on the table. He greeted back tiredly as you gathered a spoon, a bowl, and a cardboard bottle of milk

and sat down besides him.

“Thanks for carrying me to bed. I was too tired to move myself.”   
You said, shoving a spoonful of Cheerios into your mouth.

Sam on his end stopped moving completely, a finger hovering over his keyboard.

“What? I didn’t carry you anywhere, I fell asleep next to the computer.”   
Your eyes met in surprise.

 

All of a sudden two familiar hands closed around your shoulders.

“Seriously, I leave you guys for two weeks and you both manage to fall asleep out of bed.”

You turned around in an instant, throwing yourself at the missing Winchester with so much force that he nearly fell backwards.

“Hey there sweetheart,”

He chuckled, picking you up. His warm voice washed over you, relaxing you into his arms.

He landed a kiss on your forehead and you pushed yourself further into his chest, tucking yourself comfortably under his stubbly chin.

 

“Dean!”

Sam exclaimed, staring at his brother wide eyed. His hands twitched by his sides, and Dean noticed, pulling him into the hug before he could talk himself out of it.

“I missed you guys.”   
You looked up at him with an enormous smile on your face, your hands acting of their own accord and cupping his cheeks. Your eyes started watering.

“Aww girly there’s no need to cry, I’m here now.”

He said softly, wiping away your tears with his thumb.

“I missed y-you too.”

 

You choked out, your voice quivering.

As he tightened his arms around you, everything fell back into place. Your confidence returned. Your safety returned.Everything became right again.

You didn’t feel helpless anymore.

_ He’s back, and he’s ok.  _

_ And he looks better. _

You snuggled contently into his shirt.

 

“Shhh, It’s ok sweetheart. I’m right here. I’m not leaving again anytime soon.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys think? Things with Tristan aren't going too well.. or ARE they? DUM DUM DUM!  
> I'd LOVE to hear your thoughts!
> 
> Also kinda random, but would you guys check out my art page? I draw quite a lot (Some SPN fanart too) and it would mean SO much if you checked it out!  
> Here's the link: https://www.facebook.com/CrazyArtWorm/


	33. A 'moment'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teenagers are cray cray

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally finished writing this chapter! I hope you guys like it!

_ “Calm down Rose’, you have to speak slower. I don’t understand half of what you’re saying-” _ _   
_ Dean paced back and forth in the kitchen, his eyebrows furrowed in worry. After listening to her voice message back at that little inn in Colorado, he knew he’d have to come back. Leo had the morals of saint - of a loyal puppy. He would  _ never  _ kill someone for no good reason.

From the corner of his eyes he could see a sleepy (Y\N) emerging from the hallway, rubbing a closed eye.

He couldn’t involve her in this, not even accidently - this case  _ specifically  _ would be  _ really  _ troublesome if she found out about, because her new friendship with Tristan might put her at risk.

 

“Morning”   
The teen slurred. She stopped at his side, looked up at him for a second and then immediately averted her eyes someplace else. He smiled when her hand tugged at the fabric of his sleeve.

“I’ll call you back soon.”

The hunter promised, hanging up. 

“What’s up little one?”   
  


The nickname made her scrunch up her forehead and pout at him like a toddler being denied of their favorite snack. She crossed her hands in front of her chest - probably in an attempt to seem a little older, but all it did was remind him of that Boss Baby character that was in the theaters a while ago.

“I’m not little. I want to plan my birthday party. I’m gonna be fifteen in a week!”   
She announced. The way her eyes lit up made him turn to mush embarrassingly fast. 

“Anything you want.”

The reply came out of him so quickly that it managed to surprise  _ both  _ of them.

_ “Really?” _   
  


Dean chuckled at her stunned expression. 

_ Like he wasn’t going to go far and beyond for his little girl _ . 

He crouched down to her height.

“Just say the word. You want a band? Horse carriages that look like pumpkins? A huge pony shaped cake? You got it .”   
(Y\N) giggled, practically dancing from the excitement bubbling inside her stomach.

“I’m turning fifteen Dean! Not five.

The hunter smiled as she wrapped her hands around his neck.

“Thank you..”

 

He hugged her back with a heady smile. 

It was weird for him - her growing up. When he and Sam first found her she seemed so  _ small _ . Mainly because she was crouched down hugging herself into a tiny ball of fear, but even then she didn’t look fourteen. He remembered thinking she couldn’t be any older than eleven.

Fifteen was a special age for him. 

 

First time he learned how to make a shotgun. First time John dropped him off somewhere in the wilderness to survive on his own for a week and a half. 

He still felt sorry for that poor bunny he hunted on the second day when he finally caved in to starvation.

It all seemed like nothing compared to the shit he’s been through by now, but for some strange reason, thinking back to those days he could still feel a very real punch to his gut. 

 

“Are you ok?”   
(Y\N) looked up at him with those two big eyes of hers - the source of all good in his fucked up world, the definition of pure and untainted. His little treasure. 

She tilted her head, giving him a puzzled look. Already he could tell that she was making some of their little quirks her own. The Castiel head tilt, Sam’s infamous puppy eyes, his ‘Or so help me-’ bit whenever she got angry. It was every bit of adorable as it was worrying. They had a huge responsibility after all, to make sure that these would be the  _ only  _ habits she would inherit.

 

“I’m ok. Just thinking.”   
He finally answered, squeezing her cheeks for one nonsensical moment before she batted his hands away with an annoyed frown. 

“You’re weird today.”   
She informed him. Instead of covering up the fact that she was right he placed a thumb on her nose in a silent ‘Boop!’. 

_ I really  _ am  _ weird today aren’t I? _

 

“Ok that’s it! I’m gonna get ready for school,”   
She wrestled her way out of his hold and ran over to snatch her ‘I flexed and the sleeves fell off’ tank top from a still unfolded mountain of laundry covering one of the sofas. 

They really shouldn’t neglect it for much longer - any day now they would practically be able to go hiking on it.

“Don’t forget your lunch,”   
Sam called somewhere upstairs. He could’ve been far, could’ve been close - didn’t matter. Everything echoed in the bunker.

 

“I  _ know _ already. You say that every  _ day. _ ”

After a couple of minutes in her room, the kid emerged out of the hallway again. She fixed her coat over her shoulders in a flurry.

“Bye guys!”

She zigzagged her way around a number of socks that spilled down from the laundry mountain. Someone should put a ‘Danger: Falling Socks’ sign around there somewhere, he thought, and then chuckled at his own dad joke.

Before she left, she stopped next to him, getting up on her tippy toes and placing a shy kiss on his cheek. He grinned.

 

“See you later sweetheart.”   
  


____________________________________________________________________________

  
  


You decided to take your lunch outside today because for once the weather was pretty nice. You even took off your coat.

Yuuki sat besides you on one of the only free benches you managed to find, chewing on his sandwich. You weren’t the only ones to notice the sun’s unexpected visit.

“(Y\N)!”   
You looked up to see Derek, one of your classmates, approaching. He was a nice guy - really good at math. He helped you out a couple of times.

You waved in reply. 

 

Another boy was tailing behind him, looking quite depressed. You didn’t remember his name, but you  _ did  _ recall seeing him walking around school completely stoned a few times. He got a little more than detention for that.

“Can I borrow your Biology notes?”   
He asked, finally reaching you. His friend nearly bumped into him, probably because his eyes were fixed on the ground.

“Sure.”   
Derek clapped his hands together.

“Great!”

You pulled your bag over your lap and started rummaging through it for a while before you found the notebook you were looking for.

 

“There.”   
You held it in front of you, eyeing the miserable looking guy behind him.   
“Is he alright?”   
You asked in almost a whisper. To your right, Yuuki perked up in interest as well.

“Uhh..”   
Derek turned his head around to see if his friend was listening or not. He ran a nervous hand through his brown hair.

“See that note he has written on his arm?”   
  


Your eyes landed on the badly scribbled words. Something about reminding one ‘Jodie’ about an upcoming basketball game.

“Yeah?”   
You asked, wondering where this was leading.

“Well from what I got from him he planned on inviting his crush to watch his game or something, but he wanted to do it kind of last minute so i’d seem spontaneous.”   
“So she said no..?”   
  


“He didn’t even tell her yet. The game is in two weeks.”

He gave his friend a pitying look.

“Isn’t it kind of useless to write it on your arm two weeks before telling her though? I mean, It’ll fade by then.”   
Yuuki commented.

“Well.. that’s the thing.. He was out drinking last night, got this fake ID from a friend,”   
He took a deep breath.

“You know how when you’re completely smashed some really dumb ideas seem genius?”

You nodded.

 

“Well he walked by a tattoo store.”

“Oh.”   
That poor,  _ poor  _ guy. That must be the saddest drunk mistake involving getting a tattoo you’ve ever heard of.

“Maybe that Jodie girl will just think that he’s dedicated..?”   
Just saying that sounded ridiculous.

“I’m betting by now he’s really regretting carrying that fake ID around..”

Yuuki chanted, getting up from his seat.

 

“I know Jodie. Blond hair, always carries a book around?”   
“Yeah.”   
Derek replied. Your dark haired friend shot an uncharacteristic vulpine look your way before looking at Derek.

“Her mom’s a friend of  _ my _ mom. We knew each other since we were toddlers. I can talk to her. Help-”

“Matt.”   
Derek filled in.

“Help Matt hook up with her.”   
  


“REALLY?”   
‘Matt’ shoved Derek aside all of a sudden.

_ He was listening this entire time??  _

_ “The power of boners..” _

The brown haired teen muttered under his breath. You had to agree with him on that one.

“Sure. (Y\N), you wanna help?”

 

“Are you kidding me? There’s no way i’d miss seeing how this turns out.”   
  


____________________________________________________________________________

 

Tristan sat by Bailey’s bed, glaring at the white walls surrounding him. Hating the stubborn machines beeping away in their annoyingly steady beat. 

_ His _ heart had a different rhythm. It sounded like one of those horror movie tracks, or maybe like a really lousy drummer with stage fright.

 

He held her hand in his, the only splash of colour in the room - still bleeding through the bandages.

It looked so out of place. Logically hospitals were  _ meant  _ to contain within them the sick and the hurt. 

He knew that, he just couldn't understand it. 

The two other girls hooked up to IV machines to his left only served to strengthen his point more - how could anyone get better at a place with so much pain? It was practically contagious! 

There was something in the air. It didn’t have a smell to it, but it made him nauseous nonetheless.

 

He looked at her falling and rising chest, making sure she was still breathing.

Bailey was good at tearing him away from reality and flinging him into her own nightmarish world. 

A world filled with  _ darkness  _ and  _ guilt _ . A world where all clocks in existence were broken - their calipers stuck on 2:17 forever.

He kept wishing that somehow, he could find a way to collect all those pieces she had shuttered into, glue them together into the girl she was before everything happened. Maybe then the clocks would start working again.

Lately though, he started to wonder if she even wanted to be whole anymore. Why else would she hide so many pieces away from him? 

 

He was tired. 

But he couldn’t leave.

She would be lost if he found a way into a world she wasn’t a part of. He knew that, he was only playing dumb, and she knew that if she weakened her grip on him even a little - he _ would _ be gone.

That’s why she was becoming so aggressive.

She calls it love.

She was playing dumb too though. She knew what they had was a lie.

______________________

 

Jodie was a quiet girl, living in a completely different universe than the people around her. She only ever left behind her elvish bow and arrow when Yuuki mentioned that he needed a favor from her.

She fixed her glasses at the top of her pointy nose in a listless manner. In her defence, teenage drama was much less interesting than the armies she was probably leading inside her head. 

If she didn’t physically look so different from Yuuki - you could have mistaken her for his sister.

 

“So what do you need me to do exactly?”   
She asked, looking like she was preparing herself for a bargaining session. Yuuki looked at her in the exact same way. It was slightly disturbing.

“Go on a date.”

“With who?”

“Matt Stevens.”

“What do I get out of it?”

“I’ll buy you two Elder Scrolls DLCs of your choosing.”

 

“Three.”

“Two and I'll throw in lunch.”

“Two DLCs, lunch, and you talk to my mom about letting me play video games after 16:00.”

“Take out the lunch then.”

“Fine.”   
They shook hands, each looking like they just scored a huge business deal.

 

After that you and Yuuki went back to your former lunch bench. 

You were surprised at how well he handled himself with Derek before. You were used to him sitting quietly in the background, barely responding even when someone  _ tried _ to speak with him.

“Hey Yuuki…?”

The boy sat down, pulling out his water bottle and gulping a third of it down. He then quickly splashed some over his face.

“I’m impressed. You held your own pretty well there. You didn’t seem shy or nervous at all.”

All of a sudden his head snapped around in your direction.

 

“Are you kidding me? I think my anxiety levels nearly broke through the atmosphere! Stupid psychologist with her  _ stupid  _ ideas and her  _ stupid  _ put yourself out there and her-”

“Yuuki calm down! You looked great out there!”

That seemed to halt your friend’s not-so-quiet stammering. He looked you over suspiciously, trying to determine if you were lying or not.

“You’re not just saying that to make me feel better are you..?”

You shook your head, placing both your hands on his shoulders.

“I’m not lying. You looked really cool! The way you interacted with other human beings there? Amazing!”

“O-Oh stop it..”

 

“Come on! You were like a superhero or something! And you didn’t even stutter once!”   
At that he just burst out laughing.

“Yeah sure. They would call me Socially-Awkward-Man. My superpower would be ignoring my enemy until they thought they got the wrong guy and walked away.”

“Well  _ I  _ think that’s unique. Nobody would expect that. You’d totally catch them by surprise.”

His laugh slowed down little by little - leaving him with just an impossibly wide grin stretched across his face.

“Well I wouldn’t be able to do it without my sidekick…”

_ “Awwwwwwwwwww!” _

 

“S-Shut up! We need to go back to class,”

 

“Nananana nananana nananana Socially Awkward Man!”

 

____________________________________________________________________________

  
  


After school, Yuuki and you decided to take Matt over to your favorite gift store, so that he could buy something nice for Jodie before their date.

It was pretty small compared to other stores in the area, but it had everything and it was  _ really  _ pretty - had that vintage touch because the owner had a slight obsession for it.

On the outside sat a huge statue of a teddy bear holding playing cubes which the two of you named Bert one day when you walked by it,  and the inside was bursting to the seams with birthday cards, balloons and plushies in all the colors of the skittles you knew Dean had hidden in the drawer by his bed.

 

You lightly pushed Matt over to one of the shelves where you knew they kept their flower bouquets, picking out one of the nicer ones and holding it up for him to see.

He didn’t seem impressed.

“That’s ugly.”   
_ Wow. he sure is blunt. _

“Really? Then what would  _ you _ suggest we buy her?”

The teen walked around a little, digging to the back of some of the shelves, making the poor employees job a lot harder than it should be - especially when he knocked stuff over and didn’t bother returning it to it’s place. 

From the corner of your eye you caught two of them halt what they were doing to glare daggers into the back of his head. One of them was wielding his broom like you would a sword.

 

“What about this?”

He shoved a cheap, kiddy makeup kit into your hands with a victorious smirk.

“Are you serious..?”

“What? She’s a girl. Girls love makeup.”

You exchanged a worried look with Yuuki. He sighed.

“You look for a good present to buy. I’ll try to keep him from getting us thrown out.”   
“You got it.”

 

You walked over to one of the only shelves that didn’t look like they’ve been hit by a storm and started to browse, hoping to find something that Jodie might actually like. Maybe a fantasy-themed figurine, or a book.

You pulled out a dainty little jewellery box that had dragons painted on it with rich red ink. 

_ This could work.. And it’s cheap too so he won’t complain. If he says it’s ugly again though I might actually be forced to shape-shift into someone and slap him. _

“(Y\N)..?”

You jumped at the familiar voice, slowly turning around.

 

Tristan stood in front of you, holding a bouquet of red roses and a brown teddy bear that had a golden bow wrapped around it’s neck.

“W-What are you doing here?”   
You asked, fiddling with the box in your hands. All of a sudden you regretted splitting up with Yuuki. You really didn’t know how to face him.

“Just,”

He started, eyes wandering over to his present.

“Getting something for Bailey..”

You felt an almost too real stab to your heart.

 

“Oh.”

Was the only thing you managed to come up with. 

You glanced over at Yuuki, who was looking at you with concern. He tilted his head to the side, silently asking you if you needed him to intervene. 

“Well I need to go. I’m kind of busy.”

You surprised yourself at how easily anger slipped into your tone. You started walking away, but before you could make it too far a hand landed on your shoulder.

“Hey wait!”

Tristan quickly placed himself in front of you again.

“Look, I was being a jerk last time.. I wasn’t trying to hurt you,”

 

“Well you  _ did. _ ”

By then Yuuki had already made his way over to you, giving the other teen a mean look.

“I’m sorry..”

Tristan hugged the roses closer into his chest, looking at the floor. You tried to push away all the thoughts about how miserable he looked at the moment. The blue ocean in his eyes looked like it was in danger of spilling out. It tugged painfully at your already confused emotions.

 

“I’ll go pay for these. I can tell when I’m not wanted.”

 

____________________________________________________________________________

  
  


“So did you get him to buy the jewellery box in the end?”

Sam asked, already invested in the story. To his right his brother chowed down one of his famous homemade cheeseburgers. 

The table was, as always - messy.

Books strewn about, notes scattered everywhere, covering the wooden surface in what looked like an odd tablecloth. 

Your mind felt just as scattered. For some reason you had a bad feeling about the whole Tristan thing. You’ve never seen him this close to crying, and you were pretty sure it wasn’t just about him feeling bad about the way he treated you.

 

“So did you?”

The giant’s question pulled you away from your thoughts. 

“Yeah… it was on sale so.. Hey, mind if I change the subject for a sec’?”

Dean swiped a thumb over his lip, getting rid of a little bit of ketchup that found it’s way there before straightening up in his seat to look at you.

“Sure. What’s up?”   
You looked between the two of them and your half eaten dinner for a while, trying to work out the best words to use.

“Have you noticed anything..  _ Different  _ about Tristan lately? I mean, I know you don’t see him that much, but like, you’re on good terms with his mom right? Did she mention anything?”

 

You didn’t think your inquiry deserved a silent, very uncomfortable silent pause, but nevertheless - that’s what you got.

In particular; Dean’s hodgepodge of worry and anger both claiming their place in the spot between his eyebrows confused you. 

_ So something  _ did  _ happen! _

“Look, he’s only been missing for a couple of days. We’re taking care of it, he really didn’t have to involve you in this.”

“What? He’s not missing! I just saw him today at the gift store!”

_ “Leo?!” _

 

“What? No! Tristan. I’m so confused..”   
The three of you stared at each other for a while, each trying to decode what the other had said.

“Who’s missing?”

You finally asked, already having a pretty good idea who they were talking about, but needing confirmation before you started freaking out.

The brothers exchanged one of those long looks of theirs - the ones that in all honesty looked a lot more like a staring contest than anything else. Dean cleared his throat.

“It’s Leo. Leo’s missing.”

“Oh crap,  _ oh shit. _ ”

 

You felt awful. Obviously the way he treated you didn’t have anything to do with his brother being kidnapped and he was still at fault  _ there _ , but that was just  _ the  _ most terrible time to be angry at him. He must be going through so much right now, and you just added him another thing to the list. 

_ “I really fucked up.” _

“(Y\N) you never curse and you  _ shouldn’t,  _ but the fact that you are - what’s going on? What happened?”   
You got up from your chair in a hurry to look for your phone, both brothers following suit after you.

“What’s wrong?”

Dean asked, or more like demanded somewhere behind you.

 

“We had this fight - kind of a fight I’m not sure what it really was, I mean it felt like a fight because I was angry at him and he was like, all apologetic, I guess maybe it’s not considered a-”

“(Y\N) we get it, get to the point already you’re making us worry.”

 

You took a deep breath and turned back to look at them.

“We uh.. Remember when I had to fill in for Bailey at the store a couple of days ago?”

You knew they remembered, obviously. You just thought that maybe, in the few seconds it would take them to answer you might come up with an explanation that could somehow leave out the part about the boy drama. Which was basically the entire story. So a believable enough lie to sum it up. Which you wouldn’t be able to do either because you promised them-

“Yeah we remember. So what about it?”   
_ Well shoot. That was an effective plan. _

“Well Tristan was there, b-because he heard that we were short on staff,”

 

They both rolled their eyes  _ and  _ mumbled a sarcastic ‘sure’ at the same time. It was half-creepy-half-cute. You didn’t know something  _ could  _ be half-creepy-half-cute.

“A-Anyways, we were both busy for a while, you know, it was a busy day, and then this one customer wanted to pay for his coke bottle, and long story short he left me his number and,”

You were almost too scared to continue telling the story. 

 

If they were creepy when they were both sarcastic at the same time you really didn’t want to see them _angry_ at the same time. And they _were_ angry.  The protective kind of angry that would probably look cute from the outside, but _really_ scary when you were facing it yourself - hence proving to you another thing you didn’t think was possible - 

Something that was half-scary-half-cute.

You weren’t as complex as them though.

You were simply terrified.

 

_ “(Y\N)... what happened next?” _

Dean’s tone made you forget how to articulate words for a worrying moment there.

“Well Tristan came back to tell me something, and then he saw the paper the customer wrote his number on, and he asked me what it was and I hid it from him. So he tried to s-steal it from me, and I didn’t let him and,”   
_ God  _ you were running out of breath fast. 

“We had a moment.”

There. In your head that was the perfect answer, because you didn’t have to explain the way your heart was beating and how he held your hands and how you sneaked more than just a quick look at his lips.

Your head had something seriously wrong with it though, apparently.

 

“ **_I’m gonna_ ** **kill** **_this guy!_ ** I’ve  _ seen  _ that storage room! did that punk take you there?!”   
Dean’s outburst had fueled Sam’s anger even more. Probably because now he was starting to imagine things based on the image his older brother had just created. 

“Did he  _ touch  _ you?  He better  **_not have_ ** _!  _ “

“He didn’t do anything! I swear!”

“You just said you had a  _ moment! _ ”

“ _ My  _ moment isn’t  _ your  _ moment. I’m  _ fourteen! _ ”

“ _ Fifteen! _ ”

“Oh you just say that when it’s  _ convenient! _ ”

 

You made yourself stop and calm down. Nothing will come out of the three of you just screaming at each other.  _ They  _ were clearly too mad to do it, so you had to be the bigger person here.

“We didn’t do anything, and he definitely didn’t  _ make  _ me do anything.”

You said that in the calmest tone you could manage.

“Then what did you mean by you had a ‘moment’?”

The two of them stared at you for a while, Dean with his arms crossed across his chest - looking like he was about to explode and take you down with him, and Sam seemed to be in the process of creating a brand new wrinkle on his forehead.

“We just..”

_ Crap this was embarrassing.  _

 

For them a ‘moment’ probably meant sex, or at the very least  _ kissing.  _ You wished you would have figured that out before you said anything. 

“We just… stared at each other, and he held my hand..”

You felt like a complete idiot. 

They let out the longest, loudest sigh of relief you’ve ever seen, and Dean wiped a hand over his forehead. He then shot his brother a look that was somewhat amused.

“She’s definitely fourteen.”

“Fifteen!”

The older Winchester gave you a warm smile.

“You just say that when it’s convenient.”

 

You glared at him.  _ Hard.  _ You were mentally willing some supernatural force to wipe that dumb smile off his lips. He didn’t seem to care though.

“I didn’t finish my story!”   
“I’m sorry, you’re right. What happened after your ‘moment’?”   
“Dean, you’re being an ass.”   
Sam informed his gloating brother. 

“Anyways!”   
You hurried, hoping to let your cheeks return to their original color sometime soon.

 

“After that he actually  _ read  _ the note”

_ That  _ wiped Dean’s smile off.

“Damn.. now that I’m not planning on killing the boy anymore I kinda feel bad for him.”

Sam nodded his agreement, and you were back to feeling like the bad guy.

“I  _ told  _ him I wasn’t planning on calling him! I even threw the number into the garbage can! But..”

And then the hurt you felt then came crashing back in all it’s heart-wrenching glory. Your throat started to clog in preparation for the tears you knew were coming any second now.

“He said that it was ok, because we were  _ just  _ f-friends”

 

Immediately you found yourself being pulled into a comforting pair of arms. Sam’s arms.

“I can’t believe I’m saying that, but you know there’s no way he actually meant that, right?”   
_ “Sam,” _ _   
_ Dean obviously didn’t like what his brother was telling you. You did, however. You  _ really  _ liked it. You wanted to hear more.

“How do you know that?”   
You asked, some tears already managing to slip out. The giant wiped them away with his thumb.

“He’s seventeen (Y\N). No self-respecting seventeen year old would just hold a girl’s hand and stare into her eyes if he didn’t have feelings for her. He would do… other, more than a ‘moment’ things... “

 

“Yup. I’m back to wanting to kill him again.”

“Really? I’m back to wanting to kiss him..”

“(Y\N), you’re walking a very  _ fine _ line with me right now.”

“Sorry..”

Sam gave your shoulders a gentle squeeze.

“Anyways, after that,”   
“There’s  _ more?” _

“Just a  _ little, _ ”

You defended, pulling yourself deeper into Sam’s chest, as if to say ‘learn from your brother!  _ He’s  _ nice to me!”   
  


“After that I asked about Bailey, and he told me it was none of my business, and then he just walked away!”

“Dick move Tristan.. Dick move..”   
“Exactly! But then I saw him again today and...  He apologized. I was still really angry and hurt tho, and I really pushed him away. I didn’t forgive him. And now you tell me his older brother’s missing?? I have to call him or something, apologize! I feel awful.”

The two of them just stood there quietly for a while, taking it all in.

 

“I feel like I’ve just gotten off of a rollercoaster.”

“Hey can we go on a rollercoaster for my birthday?”

 

“I’ll buy you your own amusement park if you promise not to have anything  _ more  _ than a ‘moment’ with a boy until you’re 21.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think guys? It was a lot of fun writing this chapter, but I'm really interested to know if you liked it too!   
> BTW when was your first 'moment'? Mine was pretty depressing.. The guy turned out to be gay and in love with my best friend - who was also gay.  
> Ahhh yes... First unrequited love.


	34. We Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The brothers start investigating Leo's disappearance while Y\N tries her best to comfort Tristan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally finished writing this chapter! I hope you guys enjoy~

You’ve been standing outside Rosaline’s bakery for about five minutes now, trying to gather the courage to step inside. 

Fortunately for you it looked like the early hours of the morning were the busiest, and no one seemed to notice you standing there, legs rooted into the ground so deep that you could almost feel the lava burning your toes. Or maybe it was just another hot wave of anxiety. It was hard to tell.

You knew you had to go in there at some point. Tristan deserved an apology that wasn’t relayed via a lame text message. You had to tell him face to face. 

 

To be honest - the apology was just the first step. What you were really hoping for was a chance to speak with him - see if you could cheer him up a little. See if there was anything you could do to help. You knew  _ you  _ would be absolutely destroyed if either Sam or Dean were to go missing.

You took a deep breath.

_ You can do this (Y\N). _

 

Your soul nearly jumped out of your body at the loud chiming of the door bells. It didn’t seem like anyone noticed your arrival though, and with the crowd of tired customers carrying baked goods and coffee in large steaming cups you really shouldn’t have expected them to. They all looked like they were sleepwalking.

It was warm inside, at least that was nice. It was  _ freezing  _ out.

“(Y\N), is that you?”   
Rosaline’s voice carried over to you from the counter. You almost considered turning back. You figured if you  _ run  _ out you might be just as warm.

 

“Hello mrs. Moore,”   
You greeted politely. The middle aged lady gave you a warm smile, her laugh lines arranging themselves around it like rays of light would around their sun. It was a happy smile, to anyone who didn’t look any further. 

You however, could see it didn’t reach her eyes.

“Just call me Rose’, sweetie. You hungry? I was planning to drop off some pie at your place later anyways. Dean has been really good to me the past couple of days, he deserves it. Especially since I wasn’t exactly treating him the same way..”

 

“ Oh I’m sure he doesn’t mind.. But uh, actually.. I was wondering if Tristan was around..?”

It burned - physically  _ burned  _ to ask that. You tried to convince your heart to chill out a little - take  a break. It was doing some very impressive pushups inside your ribcage and if you were not losing any weight from it than the sweat starting to run down your forehead just wasn’t worth it.

Rosaline paused her hands over a loaf of whole wheat bread, looking a little hesitant all of a sudden.

“He’s in the hospital.. Bailey was.. They hospitalized her two days ago after she tried to commit suicide.”   
____________________________________________________________________________

 

You ran to the front desk, where a nurse was sitting in front of a computer, talking calmly into the phone. 

“I need to know what room Bailey Lynn is in!”   
You spewed out, breathing heavy and out of breath, holding yourself up on the white counter.

The nurse lowered her phone.

“Give me a second, I’ll check on the computer.”

_ “(Y\N)...?” _

You turned around so quickly that your side tightened in a painful cramp.

Tristan stood in front of you - his hair disheveled, his eyes red and sporting big dark circles underneath. He looked awful.

 

“Tristan, I’m so sorry, I just heard!”   
He looked down at his shoes silently for a long moment.

“It’s ok. I mean  _ I’m  _ ok.. Bailey’s still..”

Before you even realized what you were doing, you threw your arms around him, pulling him in for the tightest hug you’ve ever given. He didn’t try to stop you.

You ran a hand through his oily hair, trying to ignore the strong stink of sweat coming off of him in waves.

He probably didn’t shower since he got here. 

“I’m  _ so  _ sorry about yesterday.. If I had known..” 

You trailed off, finding it harder and harder to say anything. 

 

“It’s fine.”   
“No it’s not..”

You felt his arms wrap themselves around you, fingers digging into your coat like he thought you were planning to run away.

“How is she?”

“They’re having her spend a couple more days here, but she’s not in danger anymore.”   
You squeezed his shoulders, hoping that  _ something  _ you were doing was comforting him.

“That’s good, isn’t it? Means she’s going to be ok soon?”

“Not really.”

He went silent for a while, and you chose not to push him.   
  


“Depression is just as deadly as cancer or any other illneses. You think you’re out of deep waters for a while - and then when you least expect it something drags you under.”   
He pulled away from the hug, eyes still on the floor and his hands still holding on to the sleeves of your coat.

“It must be easier with someone by your side though.. Right? Someone to keep you afloat?”

 

“I don’t think she sees it that way. She’s dived down to the bottom so many times now that it’s almost like home for her. She’s in too deep. I can’t swim that far. I’m-”

He took a deep, shaky breath.

“I’m already losing air.”

You laid a gentle hand over one of his own before wiggling your backpack off of your shoulders, zipping it open and pulling out your water bottle.

“Here.”   
You held it up for him, sighing in relief when he accepted it. You watched him gulp it down greedily.

 

“And uh,”   
You pulled out a bag full of blueberry muffins and fished one out.

“Your mom wouldn’t let me leave without them. Eat some. You look like you’re starving.”

He looked a little hesitant to accept it though, so you grabbed his hand and shoved it into it.

“Tristan, I live with Dean, I know exactly what it looks like when someone blames themselves for something that was completely out of their control. This is  _ not  _ your fault and this whole starving yourself deal would be stupid even if it were. Do you seriously think that eating a muffin makes you the devil or something?”

He frowned at you, but gave in and took a bite.

 

“Hey..”   
You started, hands wrinkling the paper bag. Tristan pulled his eyes away from his blueberry muffin to look at you.

“Is there anything I can do to help? Anything at all, I  _ mean  _ it.”   
He ate the rest of his muffin in silence, eyebrows furrowed, bottom lip trembling a little. Finally, he met your eyes again.

“Would you stay..? Just for a little while I mean, You don’t have to if you don’t want to-”

“I want to. I’m staying.”

 

____________________________________________________________________________

 

Rosaline laid a slice of pecan pie on a small plate and handed it to one of her two employees - a young girl with a pair of glasses that made it look like her eyes were abnormally large. 

She was really trying to keep it together, but it was hard.

She didn’t like keeping secrets from Tristan, there were so many ways she could screw up keeping up an act. 

For one the boy was too intelligent for his own good, always noticing the smallest details and making it his mission to investigate the hell out of them like he was planning to get his own detective show. 

 

He knew something was up with her. Every time the two of them sat down to eat she could practically see words floating around her in that simplistic white font that varied in size- 

_Cut her finger - perhaps while_ _slicing apples?_ _Possibly depressed._ _Too much_ _makeup_ _under her eyes -_ _Could be to hide_ _bags? I’m only_ _7%_ _sure, but there’s a chance she might be depressed._ _Forgot to wash the_ _dishes_ _\- maybe because she was tired. Side effect of_ _depression?_

 

_ God  _ she hated lying to him. 

And she hated not knowing where Leo was. He was always so careful - taking up a case only after making sure he learned everything there was to know about it.

His actions were always researched and calculated, and he was emotionally strong too. She often leaned on him, reliable as he was.

He never gave her reason to worry.

Up until now that is.

 

She slowly wandered over to the back, where she kept all her ingredients. The noise at the front was loud and distracting, and she didn’t think she could keep faking that smile of hers for much longer. The sides of her lips already started to hurt.

The last time she was this close to breaking down was when her precious Jessica was stolen away from her. 

She had no one to support her back then. No one to turn to. She had to stay strong for her boys.

Now, with Tristan at the hospital though, she could at least shed a little tear in secret. 

 

The woman sat down on a wooden stool near the back door and buried her face in her hands, taking a melody of shaky breathes that went out of tune all too quickly. She wasn’t steady enough to do much more.

All of a sudden a couple of firm knocks came from the door, reverberating around her.

She jumped to her feet.

_ Get yourself together Rosaline. _

Wiping her eyes with a discarded kitchen towel sitting on one of the shelves, she forced the smile back unto her lips and opened the door.

 

“You look awful.”   
Dean’s blunt accusation made her feel oddly relieved. Maybe because his expression was so understanding.

Sam stood to his left, hands in his jacket, hair in disarray from the strong wind raging outside. His eyes sang the same sympathy.

“Come on in.”

She held the door open for them, waiting for them to wipe their boots on the large mat she had set out when it started raining again. 

 

“Tell us everything you know. We’ll find your Leo in no time. We promise.”   
  


_________________________

 

The three of them sat down to discuss the case - Dean and Rosaline getting as comfortable as one could possibly get on two wobbly old stools she and her staff used on their breaks, and Sam half sitting half leaning on an empty table by the ovens.

“He was on the job with one of his hunting buddies - Jeremy Adams, maybe you know him,”

Rosaline started, trying to keep her voice steady. The brothers shook their heads no.

“They didn’t tell me much of the details, but I think they were hunting a witch. That’s what makes most sense to me, anyways, considering.. Everything else.”   
  


“They were out of town for a couple of days, which is normal, you know? I wasn’t exactly worried  _ too  _ much. Leo called me just one day before he went missing, and he sounded completely  _ fine _ .”

The last word came out a little too stuttery. A little too fraught with emotion. A little too  _ guilt ridden _ , and Dean put a comforting hand over her shoulder.

“Jeremy called the day after sounding pretty worried. He told me that they split up to interview the suspects, and that he didn’t meet him where they were supposed to, so I tried calling his cell but he didn’t pick up. I drove around the area he last saw him, for  _ hours _ , but I couldn’t find him  _ anywhere _ .”   
  


“And then when I stopped to grab a quick bite to eat I got another call from Jeremy - this time in full blown panic. He said he was standing over a dead body and that he found this - this  _ camera  _ next to it,”

She stopped to suck in some much needed oxygen. 

The air felt stuffy, the ovens emitting an unwelcomed heat that closed around her like a fist.

“He said that there was a video on it. One video, and that, that Leo was on it and he was stabbing the guy over and over again. Gods he sounded so scared, and then I heard this noise in the background - this scrunching noise, and the call just ended. I tried calling him back, I - I  _ did _ but,”   
  


“It’s ok Rose’, we’ll take it from here.”

Sam announced, getting up and walking over to his older brother.

“Yeah, we’ll take care of everything. You need to rest. You have some considerable makeup skills for sure but I can still see those dark bags under your eyes. I don’t understand how nobody else told you that already.”   
The taller man huffed.

“Oh I don’t know Dean, might be because they didn’t want to be rude.”

Rosaline didn’t seem to mind though. In fact, it didn’t look like she was even listening. All she did was squeeze the elder Winchester’s arm in gratitude.

 

He had some of her Leo in him, the boy.

____________________________________________________________________________

 

You were sitting in one of the hospital’s waiting chairs watching Tristan sleep covered in your coat when your phone rang.

You picked up immediately, your ringtone scaring the crap out of you.

“Dean?”   
You whispered, standing up and maneuvering yourself away from your slumbering crush.

_ “Hey little one, I need a favor. You know how I told you about the Leo situation?” _ _   
_ You recognized Sam’s voice insisting on giving someone a ride home on the other line as his brother finished the sentence.

“Yeah?”

 

_ “Well, we’re trying to help Rose’ out, find someone who can replace her down at the bakery. Just for today - I spoke with another one of her employees and they assured me that they can come in tomorrow, but uh, it’s gotten pretty crowded so we could really use your help.” _

You stopped by one of the abandoned wheely beds, wondering how you should reply. 

You wanted to help, but you wanted to make sure Tristan was ok more than anything else, and you wished -

You wished you didn’t have to tell them where you were.

But you had too.

 

“I… can’t.”   
You started, feeling like you were disappointing him and hating it from the bottom of your heart.

_ “Why? Is everything ok?” _

“Everything’s fine with  _ me _ , but Bailey’s in the hospital and Tristan’s with her and I’m with  _ him _ ,”

You glanced back at the blue eyed teen.

“He’s devastated.. I don’t want to leave him alone.”

_ “You’re at the hospital?” _

You heard shuffling from the other side of the line, Sam asking his brother a series of questions in a hurry.

After a long moment of hushed conversation, you finally heard what you hoped to hear.

 

_ “Take as much time as you need. We’ll be in touch.” _

You sighed in relief, planning on hanging up when Dean added:

_ “And (Y\N) - don’t do anything rush.” _

 

You made your way over to Tristan and dropped back into the chair opposite from him.

You spent a couple minutes just observing the way his chest rose and fell, before situating your backpack over your lap and plucking out your notebook. 

Maybe you’d work on your math homework a little, Sam always gave you the warmest hugs when you came back with good grades on this particular subject.

 

Sometimes he'd even surprise you with a cookie - not a vegan one  _ or  _ a low fat one he made by himself, but an actually delicious, store bought chocolate chip cookie, which was about the biggest compliment you could receive from the guy.

The first time he did that Dean followed you around like you had superpowers and he was planning on catching you using them.

 

You put pencil to paper and started solving equations when the door behind Tristan opened, revealing a weak looking Bailey. 

Her face was white as a sheet, her gaze vacant.

She looked at her surroundings in disbelief.

_ “No.” _

She whispered, her shoulders beginning to shake. 

“Bailey..?”

You asked in a hushed tone, checking to see if her boyfriend was still asleep, which thankfully - he was. 

 

The girl didn’t answer. Her eyes were impossibly wide and disturbingly red, and it didn’t look like your presence registered with her at all. 

You noticed a bloody bandage on her right wrist and a white band-aid on her left, where an iv cord was forcefully yanked out.

“Bailey, should you really be out of bed already?”

You tried capturing her attention again.

She  _ did  _ notice you now, or your voice, more accurately, and smashed her hands to her ears.

 

All of a sudden she let out a loud scream. The loudest you’ve ever heard, and then collapsed on the floor.

Tristan woke up instantly, eyes wide and panicked. He was by her side in an instant.

_ “You’re ok Bee, everything’s ok,” _

He kneeled in front of her, gathering her frail hands into his own.

Bailey had always been skinny, but she lost so much weight since you last saw her that you could almost mistake her for an anorexic now.

 

**“Call a nurse!”**

Tristan shouted at you, trying to calm the now struggling girl in his hold.

Your heart pushed against your chest in a panic. 

You looked around, throat closed up, but before you could do anything a nurse was already on her way, alerted by Bailey’s scream.

She pushed passed you, shoulder crushing into your back, making you stumble forward a little before you managed to steady yourself again.

“I need you to let go of her. I can’t examine her like that,”   
Tristan tried to do as he was told, but the second the girl heard the nurse’s command she latched onto his arm with all her power.

 

_ “Bee, listen to me- everything’s going to be ok. I promise. But you have to let the nice nurse examine you.” _

Bailey furiously shook her head, hot tears streaming down her face.

_ “I’ll be here when she’s done. I’m not going anywhere.” _ _   
_ The promise seemed to calm her down a little, just enough for the nurse to untangle her from her boyfriend’s arm.

She carried her back to her room in a hurry, closing the door behind them.

 

Tristan stayed kneeling on the floor, his entire body trembling. When he noticed, he caught one arm in the second, trying to control it as best he could.

You didn’t know what to do - how to react.

“T-Tristan,”

You stuttered,

“I’m s-sorry. Is there anything I can do? I can g-get you some water..?”   
You offered, praying to god he’d say yes. You just wanted to get out of there.

 

“Yes. Water. Please.”

 

____________________________________________________________________________

 

“Do you really think it’s a witch?”

“Can’t say for sure yet.”

Dean paced around the bunker, holding a mug of coffee in his hands while Sam busied himself with hacking security cameras around the area Leo had gone missing. 

Unfortunately Jeremy didn’t say a lot about where exactly he was before the call ended, so he’s been reviewing a lot of useless footage for the last four hours. He was considering taking a break when his trained eyes caught something.

_ Finally! _

“Wait. I think I found him.”   
He announced and paused the video, waiting for his brother to come over.

 

“That’s Leo, isn’t it?”

Dean leaned down to take a look himself. 

“Yup, looks like him, and I don’t see anything weird going on with his eyes, so we can rule out like, nearly  _ every monster in existence. _ ”   
“It’s still a lead. Strengthens the witch theory. Mean’s he’s still human.”

Dean sighed, dropping down on an empty chair by the table. He picked up a macaroon from the gift box Rose insisted they take back home after their help at the bakery. 

Instead of eating it though, he just turned it around in his hands.

“Are you feeling ok? You seem.. Tense. More tense than usual I mean.”   
  


“I’m fine. I’m just a little worried about that whole Tristan thing.”

Sam looked like he was about to start up a lecture, so Dean quickly put his hands up.

“I said I’m  _ worried,  _ not that I was about  _ to do _ something about it. I trust (Y\N)’s judgement. And I trust Tristan.”

Sam scoffed, finding his response bordering on insane.

“Ok I don’t  _ completely  _ trust him. You know what I do trust though? My knife collection.”

“Rose will be  _ thrilled  _ to hear that.”

Dean shrugged, tugging his car keys out of his pocket.

“If you really want her happy we better get a move on. There are people we can interview.”   
  


“I’ll get my coat.”   
____________________________

 

Back in their fancy black suits, the brothers entered the convenience store from the security camera footage. 

It was a pretty small place - a snack aisle, a refrigerator that contained  _ both  _ soft drinks and milk products all stuffed up against each other, and a shelf of cigarettes tucked away behind a tiny counter.

Two employees were busy arguing with each other near the cash register, one of them throwing his hoodie over his head and giving it to the other, a blonde who was covering her nose in disgust.

 

“Not my fault this place’s too cheap to get you a new one. You shouldn’t have lost it in the first place.”   
“Oh cram it matt.”

The guy rolled his eyes, but pulled his bag from behind the counter and walked out the door.

_ “That girl was in the camera footage.” _

Sam stated quietly, making his way over to the hot cashier lady.

_ “Let me take first crack.” _

Dean pushed himself in front of his brother with a flirty smile stretched across his face.

 

“Can I help you?”

The blonde asked when she spotted the hunter heading her way. She flushed him the same flirty grin, her hand pulling some of her hair behind her ear.

“Actually, you might. I’m looking for a guy.”

“What a coincidence. I’m looking for a guy too..”

Sam tried to stifle a laugh when his brother’s face flamed up. Watching Dean get flustered was always fun.

He cleared his throat, deciding this was probably his cue to step in.

 

“We’re looking for this man, have you seen him?”

Sam asked, pulling out his phone, finding a picture of Leo and holding it up for the woman to see.

“Sure.”

“Well can you tell us anything about him? Was he meeting someone? Did he say where he was going? Anything will help.”

The blonde ran her eyes up and Down Dean’s body, paying real close attention to the patch of skin not covered by the collar of his shirt, before meeting his gaze.

“Why should I help you?”   
Sam pulled out his fake badge.

 

“We’re FBI. Your help could be vital to our investigation.”

“I don’t care about that.”   
Her response caught the younger hunter by surprise. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, trying to come up with a response. The FBI cover never failed them until now.

“What’s your partner’s name?”

“Dean.”   
The older Winchester replied almost instantly, pushing his brother aside and reaching out his hand for her to shake.

“Stella.”

 

Sam sighed. 

_ “Really Dean?” _ _   
_ He whispered, trying to not make it too obvious. It didn’t seem like ‘Stella’ was paying him any attention though, thankfully.

_ “There’s more than one way to get information Sammy. Watch and learn.” _

Dean turned the girl’s hand over, bringing it up to meet his lips.

If Sam could afford to do it, he would be making loud gagging noises right about now, but since he was counting on his brother to get that Stella girl to talk, he settled for a glare into the back of his head.

“I can make it worth your time. When do you get off?”

 

“That depends entirely on how good you are  _ honey. _ ”

 

_ Yup. It really  _ was  _ fun watching Dean getting flustered. _

 

____________________________________________________________________________

  
  


Dean placed one last kiss between Stella’s shoulder blades before rolling off her back unto the bed.

She stayed on her stomach, heart racing and beating hard against her chest.

“That was.. That-”

“Covered my end of the deal?”   
The girl finally turned over to lay on her side, a dreamy smile on her lips.

“ _ Covered it?  _ That will get you the info you need plus my  _ entire life story _ , complete with every secret and piece of gossip I ever heard if you wanted it.”

 

Dean chuckled. He slowly ran his thumb over her bottom lip, still red and puffy from before. The content moan that escaped her mouth as a result nearly made him hard again.

“I’ll settle for what you know about the guy for now.”

He hurried, reminding himself that he didn’t have the time for another round.

Stella grabbed a pillow and propped her head against it, concentrating. She scrunched up her forehead in thought.

“Well, he was on the phone. Seemed pretty serious. He was talking about this girl, and how he would kill the guy on the other line if he hurt her.”

 

_ Maybe Leo had a girlfriend..? _

Dean considered the option of someone making the boy kill in exchange for a lover’s freedom. It seemed to fit his personality.

“Did you catch the name of the girl?”

 

“Yeah, he kept repeating her name. It was Jessica.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  


  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting a little more complex, aren't they?  
> What do you guys think? I'd LOVE to hear your thoughts about this chapter!


	35. Was she still dreaming?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Progress in the Jessica case. Progress in the Tristan situation, and apparently Dean doesn't like coconut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter turned out pretty long.... Hopefully you guys take it as a good thing.  
> Hope you like it!

The drive back to the Motel seemed longer than it should've been, the darkness making the road seem endless in front of him.

Under baby’s headlights, with every newly visible patch of road, a new string of thoughts whirled forward to the front of Dean’s conscious.  

He tried to pin every new piece of information, every realization into an imaginary bulletin board.

The results scared him.

 

_ Could Jessica really be alive? _

_ Sam’s Jessica? _

 

He forced himself to lessen the amount of force used on the poor steering wheel crushed under his hands. To take a deep breath and think everything through again before he decided to stick to a theory.

Stella  _ never  _ told him the last name of the Jessica in question. 

There were  _ millions  _ of Jessicas in the world.

It  _ could  _ be that Leo just happened to really care about a girl who had the same name as his dead sister.

His mother would know.

 

Dean maneuvered the Impala into an unoccupied parking space next to their room, shut down the engine and stared out into the night.

He didn’t want to worry the bakery owner more than she already was, but he had to find out if he was losing it over nothing.

With hesitant fingers he pulled his cell out of his pocket, scrolled down his contacts list and tapped on Rosaline’s name.

Within two seconds flat the woman picked up, voice worried and out of breath.

_ “Do you have a lead? Did you find him? Is he alright?” _

 

The hunter reminded himself to approach the subject gently. Maybe he could even manage this without mentioning Jessica’s name.

“Not yet, but um.. I might be on to something. Would you mind answering a question or two? I don’t want to disturb-”

_ “Of course! Anything!” _

 

“Ok, well, do you know if Leo’s dating someone, or  _ has  _ been dating someone recently?”

The other line wasn’t quiet for long.

_ “He broke up with his last girlfriend a month ago. Why? Do you think she’s involved?” _

Dean wanted to break out in loud cheers, but he knew this was a two-part question, and this was a fifty-fifty deal.

“I’m not sure yet. Do you happen to know her name?”

_ “Sure,” _

She started, making Dean tense up in anticipation.

 

_ “Her name was Melanie.” _

The hunter recited the juiciest of the curses he knew in the confinements of his mind, and he had learned  _ a lot  _ of over the years - some in Latin even.

_ Ok.  _ He reasoned with himself.  _ So maybe that Jessica is  _ not  _ a girlfriend.  _

“What about his closest friends?”

_ “What about them?” _ _   
_ Rose sounded suspicious, like she was playing a version of connect the dots that lacked the little helpful numbers in her head.

 

“I mean his closest  _ female  _ friends. Do you know  _ their  _ names?”

The other line went silent for a pregnant moment.

_ “Leo  _ doesn’t  _ have any close female friends. At least I don’t  _ think  _ he does.. Why? Is that important? Do you want me to do some digging? Should I-” _

 

“It’s nothing Rose’. Just a hunch, I don’t need you to do anything other than rest. It’s almost midnight. You should get some sleep.”

_ “Are you sure? I don’t want to miss anything!” _

 

“I promise I’ll call the  _ minute  _ we have a new lead. Even if it’s the middle of the night, and I’ll call multiple times so even if you’re deep asleep you’ll have to wake up. Trust me, ok?”

He insisted, hoping some of what he was saying was registering with her.

 

“We’ll bring him home.”

 

Rosaline finally seemed to have calmed down a little. She let out an exhausted sigh.

_ “Thank you. I mean it, I owe you  _ big  _ time.” _

“You owe me nothing. Now go to bed.”

 

After ending the call, Dean locked baby up and pocketed the keys, pulling out his room keys instead.

He was tired.  _ Beyond  _ tired. 

The night was taunting him -

_ Look. Another day gone and you still don’t have a clue. You’re no closer to finding Rose’s boy than you were yesterday. _

He shook those thoughts out, threw them into the darkness. They were going to have to stay outside the Motel room if he planned on catching any sleep tonight.

 

He opened the door quietly, eyes immediately falling on his hard-working brother still typing away on his laptop.

Sam looked up, sparing him a quick glance before motioning over to a sleeping figure splayed out on one of the beds.

“She was planning on staying up to see you, but I think the hospital thing wore her down.”

He explained, voice close to a whisper.

 

Dean made his way over to his occupied bed, laying down his duffel bag on the cabinet standing next to it.

(Y\N) was fast asleep, and he didn’t have the heart to move her anywhere else. Thankfully she wasn’t taking up a whole lot of space.

It’s been some time since the hunter found himself so tired that he just crushed into a bed like that - boots and jacket still on.

The second his eyes closed was the second he fell asleep.

 

____________________________________________________________________________

 

You woke up feeling something pressed against your nose. 

Little by little you managed to lift your heavy eyelids, your vision slowly focusing on what looked like the lapels of a familiar jacket.

_ Dean? _

You thought to yourself, mind still fuzzy.

You remembered leaving the hospital on a bus, promising Tristan you’ll visit him tomorrow. 

Sam had texted you the address of the Motel they were staying at, in case you didn’t feel like coming back to the empty bunker.

 

You remembered trying to stay awake so you could see the older Winchester.

His presence always worked miracles on your mood, and you were in a pretty shitty place emotionally after Bailey’s meltdown.

You craned your neck backwards as much as you could, instantly recognizing Dean’s stubbly jawline.

You sighed in relief, cuddling deeper into his chest.

A strong arm closed itself around your back.

“Morning little one.”

 

Your cheeks heated in embarrassment. Thankfully they weren’t very visible under the hunter’s chin.

“M-Morning.”

You greeted back.

Dean pressed a kiss unto the top of your head, pushing you even deeper into his embrace for a moment before releasing you altogether and getting out of bed.

Your heart grieved the loss of his warmth with a weak pang.

You rubbed your fingers over your eyes and sat up.

 

Sam was sitting by the table. He looked up from the book he was reading to smile at you and Dean in amusement. 

“You two slept like babies. Tried to wake you up a few hours ago but you were  _ out. _ ”

Dean ignored him, making his way over to the Subway labeled bags sitting on the counter.

He picked them up, threw them on the table and then dropped down on a chair across his smug looking brother.

“(Y\N) you coming? Fair warning - I’m eating your share if you don’t hurry it up.”

 

“Oh I  _ get it _ . I caught you in daddy mode so now you have to cover it up by being  _ mean _ . You know, I think It’ll be more believable if you didn’t have that bounty bar sticking out of your pocket. We both know you hate coconut.”

 

You didn’t  _ want  _ to laugh at Sam’s insights. You really didn’t, but the older man’s face was absolutely  _ priceless _ .

Dean snapped his head in your direction, glaring. You held your hands up in defence. You couldn’t stop giggling though.

“Warned you!”

He dug his hands into the other bag, pulling out your sandwich.

“You wouldn’t dare.”

He raised an eyebrow and then took a bite.

 

You sprung up from the bed, running over to the table and rescuing the sandwich out of his hold. He tried to make it seem like he was really fighting you for it, but acting wasn’t exactly his forte.

The effort he put into it though made you feel all warm and mushy inside. 

He was so good to you.

Without even debating it in your head you gave him a peck on the cheek, making Sam burst out in laughter.

“Well  _ that  _ plan backfired.”

 

“Shut it.”

Dean grumbled under his breath before eating his own. 

His cheeks were pink now.

It was  _ adorable. _

 

The three of you ate in silence for the most part. You asked Sam a few mathematical questions that had to do with your upcoming test, but that was it.

You’ve been missing a lot of school lately, which meant you had to learn a lot of the subjects on your own. 

Lucky for you - Sam was practically a genius. He even mentioned to you once that he wanted to be a teacher when he was younger.

You felt extremely lucky in your current situation. Not everyone had it as good as you did.

_ Tristan and Bailey for example… _

 

You laid down your unfinished sandwich, feeling guilty. 

You promised Tristan you’ll come visit today, but you didn’t think you had the energy. It was all so confusing and  _ messed up. _

You didn’t  _ like  _ Bailey, but you felt bad for her. You wanted to be there for Tristan, but watching the two of them snuggled up after the nurse took care of her hurt you in ways you couldn’t even understand properly yet.

You felt incredibly superficial just going there to be with the guy you liked. 

You were completely out of place, or rather - you  _ had  _ no place there.

 

And yet Tristan asked you to stay.

You couldn’t say no. Not while knowing everything he was going through. Not caring as much as you did.

You admitted it to yourself for the first time as you watched him kiss her through the half open door of her room;

 

You were falling for him.

Falling for him  _ hard,  _ and you knew - his arms were already wrapped around another girl, he wasn’t going to catch you. 

 

It took you some time to notice that your sandwich was tasting saltier than it did earlier. 

Your sudden hiccup however, alerted the brothers before your tears did.

They both practically jumped out of their seats.

_ “(Y\N) what’s wrong?” _

_ “Why are you crying?” _

Sam was first to come over to your side of the table, crouching down besides you.

He took both your hands in his.

 

“I-It’s n-nothing.”

You mumbled, not wanting  _ or  _ knowing how to explain it to them. Dean didn’t give you much of a choice though as he sat down besides his brother and crossed his hands in front of his chest. 

His expression wasn’t mean, and it wasn’t scolding. It was patient.

You couldn’t fight patient. 

With the will power the guy had you couldn’t see him moving from his spot for the next _ ten hours  _ unless you spilled the beans.

You took a deep breath.

 

“I.. I’m..”

You tried to put out the fire raging in your cheeks. In your entire body. You probably looked like a tomato right about now.

 

“I’m in love with Tristan.”

 

_________________________

 

Dean looked angry, but not surprised. 

“We figured that much already. That’s not really the reason you’re crying though.”

“It’s the fact that he’s dating Bailey, isn’t it?”

Hearing it being said out loud was almost as painful as seeing them kiss, and you choked out a couple more hiccups.

Fresh tears started flowing. It was like someone turned a faucet all the way.

Sam tried to wipe them away to the best of his capacity.

 

“He loves you back, he just doesn’t know that yet.”

He tried convincing you in a soothing tone. 

You weren’t buying any of it. 

“Pff! Yeah r-right!”

 

“Well if he doesn’t then he’s a complete idiot!”   
Dean had trouble keeping his anger in check, he basically growled that sentence out.

At least now you knew he wasn’t angry at  _ you. _

“It’s a difficult situation he’s in. When everything blows over he’ll be all over you.”

“Like  _ hell  _ he will!”   
Your eyes snapped from brother to brother, trying to keep up. You were already confused as it was, even without their arguing.

 

“Forget about him. He doesn’t deserve you.”

 

“Dean would you just-”

 

“No. He made her cry Sam,  _ cry! _ ”

 

You couldn’t hear yourself thinking anymore - all you knew was that your heart was being crushed by invisible hands, that they were squeezing it tight, that it was trying to fight them off by beating harder, by pushing at them, kicking at them.

Your lungs didn’t feel like they were working properly, and god-

You couldn’t  _ breath. _

“G-Guys,”

You choked out. It felt like you were having a heart attack. It felt like you were  _ dying. _

 

As soon as Sam noticed the way you were breathing, he immediately snapped into action; shutting his brother up and laying a gentle hand over your knee.

“Shh, it’s ok (Y\N), you’re having a panic attack,”

He explained, keeping his voice soft and quiet.

“It can’t last more than a few minutes, just try to breath, you’ll be fine. I promise.”

You latched onto his words like they were the oxygen missing from your lungs.

_ Can’t last more than a few minutes, Can’t last more than a few minutes,  _

You repeated in your mind.

 

You were glad that the hunter wasn’t taking a more direct approach in trying to calm you down. You didn’t know how you were going to feel if he tried hugging you.

You focused on what he asked of you, something that sounded so easy, but was somehow the complete opposite - 

Breathing. 

 

It worked.

After a couple of minutes your heart returned to it’s natural pace, and you let out a  _ huge  _ sigh of relief.

“Better now?”   
You nodded silently. Sam offered you a glass of water, and you gulped it down greedily as both brothers watched.

“Here,”

Dean held up the bounty bar, which he had already unwrapped, and you accepted it with a weak smile.

 

“I’m sorry.. We shouldn’t have yelled like that.”

You shook your head, mouth already stuffed with melting chocolate. The sweetness of it spread through your body. It made you feel stable.

Now that you could breath again though, you realized that there was an order to things. You wouldn’t pass up a hug if it were offered to you  _ now. _

Or maybe, now that you felt stable enough, you could just  _ take  _ it.

 

So that’s what you did.

You threw yourself into Dean’s arms and settled there - arms tight around his waist, head tucked under his chin, heart almost purring in content with the warmth that began to surround you.

The hunter ruffled your hair and hugged you back tightly into his chest.

“Can you give me a ride to the hospital?”

You mumbled into his shirt.

As much as it all hurt, you didn’t want to leave Tristan there alone. Bailey was constantly going in and out of consciousness when you left, and he wasn’t taking care of himself at all.

 

You wanted to be there for him.

Even if he didn’t love you back.

Even as a friend.

 

“Are you sure?”   
Sam asked, fixing you with a pair of serious eyes, or  _ seriously-worried  _ eyes to be exact.

 

“I’m sure.”

 

____________________________________________________________________________

 

When you stepped back into the hospital with your bag of supplies, you felt a renewed sense of confidence.

Since you already knew which room Bailey was staying in you marched down the correct hallway and found your way easily.

Tristan was still in the same chair, sleeping.

He looked even worse than before.

You pulled out a water bottle, unscrewed the cap and then dribbled some water on a small terry-cloth.

 

After that you made your way over to the sweaty teen and positioned yourself on your knees, wiping his face as gently as you could, doing your best to not wake him up.

You kept at it for a minute or two, wetting the cloth a couple more times in the process. 

You ran it through his hair as well. 

You hoped that it would make him feel a little better when he came back to, which he did - right as you were reaching for your bottle again.

He blinked up tiredly.

 

_ “Bailey..?” _

 

You ignored the pain that surfaced and put on a forced smile.

“It’s (Y\N). I promised you i’d come back, didn’t I?”

Tristan sat up instantly, eyes wide with surprise as they looked you over.

“You really came.”

He said in disbelief. 

“Of course I came.”

 

You nudged him back down the chair and brought the cloth up again, letting it rest on his forehead. 

You had a pretty strong inkling that he was suffering from a major headache, and you knew from experience that cooling it down worked pretty well most of the time.

He caught your hand when you were about to move it again, staring at you with an unreadable expression on his face.

 

“Thank you.”

You gave him a gentle smile. This time a genuine one.

“You owe me one.”

You teased lightly, free hand already rummaging through your bag. You pulled out a plastic box and a fork.

“I made you some food. Hope you like pasta.”

Tristan stared at you. For a  _ long  _ time. 

You could have sworn it was at least more than two full minutes.

You fiddled with the box awkwardly.

 

“What..?”

You finally asked, not sure how you were supposed to react. It seemed your question snapped him out of the daze he was in.

“N-Nothing. I love pasta. It’s perfect!”

“Great. Here.”

You pushed it into his hands along with the fork, and he dug in almost immediately. You watched him gobble it down with enthusiasm. 

So he really  _ didn’t  _ eat anything since you left 

“Do you like it?”

You didn’t cook very often, and even though Sam oversaw everything you were doing, you still weren’t sure if it was good enough.

 

“It’s great, really great. Thank you.”

He stopped eating to look at you again, this time looking serious.

“I really do owe you (Y\N).. more than one little favor. Everything I do lately I fuck up, but I’ll get better. I’ll get my shit together. I promise.”

 

You didn’t know what to say to that, but the way he was looking at you - eyes begging and wet with tears, you knew you had to say  _ something _ .

“I-I’m sure.”

It wasn’t a sarcastic ‘I’m sure’, but for some reason his face fell. 

He looked like a kicked puppy, abject and hurt.

“I believe you!”

You added, hoping you could fix whatever it was you did wrong. It didn’t seem to be working.

 

“Thanks.. I need to use the bathroom. I’ll be back in a minute.”

 

You watched as he got up and laid the plastic box down where he was sitting, before walking away.

 

What was  _ that? _

 

_ ____________________________________________________________________________ _

 

The blonde lay shivering on a wooden bed.

The surface beneath her was hard and unforgiving and so were the pair of handcuffs keeping her prisoner.

The room she awoke in was empty. Windowless. Dark. 

As soon as she regained her consciousness she immediately got herself into a belligerent state of mind, thrashing and struggling with all her might. She tried to scream for help, but found the ropes jammed into her mouth were more than doing their job. 

 

She wanted Sam to be there more than anything. His face was the last thing she saw before everything went black and charred with flames.

She believed she had died then.

Could she really survive such a freak accident?

 

Maybe it was all just a bad nightmare. There seemed to be no other logical explanation. 

Burning on the ceiling? That was just a little  _ too  _ crazy for her.

Was she  _ still  _ dreaming? 

Why was she in this room? Why was she not at home, recovering from a hangover after that crazy costume party?

She almost expected to turn around and find her nurse outfit still hanging off the handle of her closet, exactly where she had left it.

Did someone slip something into her drink? 

 

When a door opened to her right, her entire body tensed up. Even her heart missed a beat. 

Was this how she was  _ really  _ going to die?

But the man who entered the room paid her no mind, just walked over to the other side of the room and pulled his cell out.

 

“I’ve got it covered, no worries. It’ll work for as long as two years. We’ve seen some cases go beyond that, but it’s rare. Either way it doesn’t matter. We only plan on giving him two more days. I don’t think it’ll get to it, but if he’s really that dumb we’ll just have to give him a  _ clearer  _ hint.”

 

________________

  
  


After telling Sam he was going to double check the info he got from Stella (Which resulted in a smug grin and a  _ ‘Feeling insecure?”  _ comment _ ),  _ Dean drove back over to the area Leo was last sighted.

When Leo’s partner ran across that dead body he couldn’t have just stumbled onto it in the middle of one of the main streets. It had to be in a deserted alley or something. 

Where else would you get away with something like murder?

 

So the hunter walked around, going down every forlorn road he could find, peeking into the darkness with his phone held in front of him so that he could see where he was going, because by now it has gotten pretty late.

 

Fallen leaves crunched under his feet as he entered into a thin gravel road. 

Birches had grown around it and some of the brumble that grew alongside them had trellised in circles, surrounding the barks

The place was dead silent. He could hear his slightly exaggerated breathing.

That creature had managed to jump a  _ hunter _ , and he had a gut feeling that it was either here before or  _ is  _ here right  _ now. _

Dean’s gut was almost never wrong.

 

Sure enough, his right boot landed on something. Something that didn’t feel soft and light like a trifle of leaves, or solid and scratchy like gravel.

He took a step back and aimed his phone at the object.

It was the camera Jeremy had told Rose’ about. 

Either that or someone just happened to lose a blood stained camera. He opted to believe the latter.

He picked it up and turned it in his hands, fingers searching around for the  _ on  _ button.

 

The screen lit up bright and quick, making the hunter jump and curse under his breath.

He clicked on the one video saved on it.

 

_ “So you finally found it, huh S-Sam?” _

Leo’s face came into focus, bloodshot eyes filled with tears looking into the lense. His voice was robotic, as if he was reading from a script, and Dean could hear soft whimpering coming from behind him.

_ “I wonder if you got here in time though. Poor little J-Jess could already be dead. This time in an even crueler way. Yes, even crueler than being burned a-alive.” _

Dean stared in shock at the video, heartbeat accelerating. He was glad he went investigating on his own.

He would keep Sam out of it. No point in putting his little brother through the pain he went through when he lost Jessica the first time. Not until he knew for certain if he could save her or not.

 

_ “I’m going to keep this simple - this is a ransom situation. You give me the Ruthenium knife, I give you your beloved girlfriend back. Hesitating? Let me give you more incentive. Every twelve hours, starting from 20:00 O’clock Monday the 21, I’ll have her sweet little brother k-kill an innocent person for me. In exactly one week, I’ll make him kill  _ J-Jessica _.” _

Leo’s eyes widened in horror after saying the last line.

_ “Let me d-demonstrate. Leo, would you be a good boy and kill the tied up man behind you for me?” _

 

Dean watched helplessly as Leo backed away from the camera, shaking the entire time. His eyes fell on a bound man struggling at the corner of the screen. The whimpers got more frantic and loud as he tried to fight his way out of the ropes surrounding him.

_ “Come on Leo, you know what happens if you don’t.” _

 

The terrified hunter pulled out a knife. He went for the man’s neck. Lenient hunters knew that slicing the jugular veins would result in the quickest death, since they  bring deoxygenated blood from the head back to the heart, but before he could do anything something stopped him.

_ “P-Please, no.” _

He begged, seemingly to no one at all. A tear slid down his cheek as he stood there quietly for a few seconds, not moving a muscle.

_ “I’m sorry.” _

Leo took one last look at his knife before plunging it into the man’s stomach, pulling it back out bloody. 

He kept at it, each time digging the blade into a different organ, until finally the man stopped struggling, his last breath escaping his body.

 

_ “52-174 Brittle road. Better get going.” _

 

____________________________________________________________________________

  
  


You and Tristan were in the middle of a quiet conversation when a nurse headed your way with a page holder and a frown.

“Moore, come with me for a moment. I’d like to tell you something in private.”

With just her appearance the woman managed to undo hours of your work. The worry and guilt slipped right back into the teen’s eyes, quickly replaced by the distant expression he had on yesterday.

_ Damn it! _

Tristan got up hesitantly, shooting you an apologetic glance before following her further into the hallway, where she stopped him.

 

She showed him something on one of her pages and laid a comforting hand over his shoulder.

You couldn’t read her lips,  _ or  _ his expression from where you were sitting, but it didn’t stop you from trying.

To your relief, it wasn’t a long conversation, and Tristan started walking back over to you after only a minute or two.

When the nurse was far enough you jumped to your feet to do the same, and the two of you stopped a mere inch or two from one another.

 

He was breathing hard, and his red eyes had already managed to gather some moisture, which you hurried to wipe away with your thumb.

“What’s wrong? What did she say?”   
His blue eyes stared back at you with a mixture of different emotions. It looked like he was fighting to make years of practiced indifference cover them, but failed miserably.

“They’re transferring her to a mental health center in Idaho for at least one year of rehabilitation.”

 

You hated how happy these news made you, but you just  _ knew  _ you could help Tristan get his self hate issues out of the way if he wasn’t constantly near the person causing them.

“That’s… this can be a good thing, you know? She’ll get what she needs. They’ll take care of her.”   
His gaze shifted sideways, as if he didn’t want to face you. 

“I… have some relatives there.”

 

Dread. All you felt was dread.

“Tristan  _ no…. _ ”

He shifted his weight from leg to leg, eyes still stubbornly refusing to meet yours.

“I have to.”   
“No you don’t! If anything her mother should move!”

It felt like your heart was breaking into tiny little pieces of languished hope. 

He loved her  _ that  _ much?

 

“Her mother is barely functioning. She didn’t visit her  _ once.  _ She’d probably be better off joining her  _ in  _ there.”

“Still! Why should-”

Tristan captured your hands in his, squeezing them tight.

“(Y\N)  _ please _ …”

You felt warm tears rolling down your cheeks, slipping in between your lips. It was your turn to look away, his turn to try to capture your eyes.

You felt  _ stupid. Naive.  _

“I’m sorry, I.. I,”

He struggled. 

 

“ _ Believe _ me, I don’t  _ want  _ to move.”

“Then  _ don’t.  _ No matter how guilty you feel, this is  _ not  _ your job.”

He looked torn right down the middle, which made you think your opinion was at least half as important to him as his twisted feelings for Bailey.

“She needs me.”

His tone was final. He made his decision.

You came in last.

You took a deep, shaky breath, wiped away your tears and reached for your backpack.

 

“I need to go.”

 

“Wait! (Y\N)!”   
  


You practically ran out, not looking behind you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! What do you guys think? I'd LOVE to hear your thoughts!
> 
> Also I've got some pretty damn exciting news! INSANELY exciting news!  
> I'm flying over to Birmingham for the UK Supernatural convention in May! I wanted to do this for so fucking long guys you have no idea.  
> This is a bucket list thing. A BIG bucket list thing, I mean, I live in Israel as some of you may know, and flying over to the U.S. costs a bunch more money, so when I saw that there was one in the UK I just jumped on it.   
> If any of you are planning to go I'd love to meet you in person! The tickets just now started selling, they only have the Gold option out, so you can still get on it if you want.   
> If when the date gets closer some of you feel like meeting up send me a message or just comment on one of the chapters. I'd probably be that one weirdo passing around cookies that have SPN fanart made out of chocolate icing, but just in case you want a more reliable way of recognizing me I'll probably send you a picture of what I'll be wearing or something.
> 
> Sorry for the long ass note, but uh.. Doesn't meeting Jared an Jensen in person justify that?  
> I think it does.


	36. They’re memories. Yes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Too tired to think, it's nearly 4:00 and I'm dying for sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I'm warning you guys - this chapter was hard to write so I'm guessing it might also be hard to read.  
> Also sorry if there are any mistakes, I just finished writing it and no amount of coffee is gonna make me proofread it. You're welcomed to point stuff out though, I'll probably look through it in the morning.

Dean parked his baby along the side of Brittle road, setting a boot outside.

A lonely warehouse was sticking out against the neglected crop that riddled the last couple dozen miles he had driven through. 

He took a moment to compose himself.

At this point, he didn’t even know what he  _ wanted  _ to happen. 

Jessica was Sam’s one true love, for lack of a better word. She was his first and last serious relationship, the one who supported him when he decided to leave home for Stanford, the one who stayed by his side when he was fending off monsters of the past and shedding his former life behind.

For him - she was holding within her the untainted, if slightly naive hope for a better future.

Dean knew exactly how much the presence of someone like that in his baby brother’s life had changed him. Had made him a better version of himself.

The day he set out to ask for his help tracking down their missing father was a day he remembered well, and not because of the tragic ending that followed. 

He recalled circling Sam and Jess’s apartment a countless number of times, the hours slipping away along with his courage.

When he finally sucked it up and made it to the door, the sun had set and even the streetlights were turned off for the night.

_ After,  _ Sam was consumed by hate and it took Dean incomprehensible efforts to bring him back to the way he was, and, even though he tried his best over the years - a part of that deep sated anger stayed at best only  _ half _ -dormant inside his soul.

He didn’t know how he would deal with having Jessica back in his life.

A part of him thought well  _ this is good. _

In their line of work longlasting, meaningful relationships were a luxury, and he wanted that for his brother.

But then, a different part of him reminded him that those either came at a price or not at all.

Among his jumbled up thoughts he recognized  _ another  _ part of himself, stashed away by mountains of shame and fear.

_ If he get’s her back, would he go back to his old life?  _

_ Would he leave us behind? _

Dean never had the apple-pie version of family he had always craved for, but what he had now was pretty close to it.

He didn’t want to lose it.

He  _ couldn’t  _ lose it.

With a troubled sigh, he set foot towards the warehouse.

_ I’ll cross that bridge when I get there. _

____________________________________________________________________________

  
  


After interviewing the same woman for the third time, Sam finally had to admit his defeat, and the guilt brewing in his stomach amplified tenfold. 

It was eating him up inside, not finding any new leads. Their investigation had come to a sudden stop. A brusque stop - one that cruelly jolted him back and knocked the breath out of him

How could he ever face Rosaline again?

He walked back to the motel with a heavy heart, boots weighed down by a pair of invisible shackles.

When he opened the door, he found little (Y\N) sitting by the small wooden table, holding her head up with her hands. She sent him a weak smile; happy to see him, but battling with a whole array of problems of her own.

He wordlessly sat down across from her, his head plagued by a consistent searing pain that refused to leave him be.

“Bad day?”

He asked in a sarcastic tone, and the two of them let out a pathetic excuse of what was supposed to be laughter.

“Why do things always end this way? Why can’t anything go right for a change?”   
Sam shrugged, wishing he could come up with something reassuring to tell the miserable looking teen glancing up at him. He found nothing.

“Winchester curse. Now that you’re one of us the universe decided you need an initiation.”

His eyes closed in on the tear stains running down her cheeks.

“So, can I ask what the initiation entailed?”   
The sarcasm stayed, but a great amount of softness accompanied it as he pulled the mess of hair behind the girl’s shoulders so that he would be able to see her better.

“Tristan.”

“I’m starting to see where Dean is coming from.”

“It’s not like that.”   
Sam cupped her cheeks, squeezing them together absentmindedly, to which she replied with an annoyed pout. 

She glared up at him from between his thumbs, but allowed him to hold her there nevertheless.

“You’re too kind for your own good. Even good people have the tendency to take advantage of that.”

Her eyes became teary again.

“I’m  _ not  _ kind. They sent Bailey away to a mental health center, and I was  _ happy.  _ I was  _ happy  _ Sam! How  _ selfish  _ am I?”

The hunter didn’t seem disappointed in her,  _ or  _ fazed. 

“You love the boy. Bailey going away meant you might have a chance with him. If you weren’t happy I’d say you are just having a passing crush.”

“Doesn’t make it right.”

The girl insisted, still very much angry with herself.

“You really  _ are  _ a Winchester, aren’t you?”

(Y\N) didn’t reply to that, just sniffled a couple times.

“There’s more to this, isn’t there?”   
The girl looked down at the table, eyes burning holes into it. Her shoulders started shaking, hurt and frustration fighting head to head.

“He left with her. To Idaho.”

Now that Sam knew the extent of her pain, he got up and walked over to her. She looked at him, confusion merging with fresh tears.

He leaned down and picked her up.

_ “Sam…?” _

She asked, studying his face as he carried her over to the sofa, sitting down with her in his lap.

“I’m sorry.”

He said after a long moment.

(Y\N) buried her head his chest, hands clutching onto his shirt.

“I think Tristan is too kind for his own good. I think Bailey’s taking advantage of that.”   
“Bailey’s alone. She has no one else to rely on.”

“It isn’t  _ fair. _ ”

“No,”

Sam agreed.

“It isn’t.”

____________________________________________________________________________

Dean entered the abandoned warehouse, doors closing behind him with a loud screech of rusty metal.

He held his flashlight to his gun, eyes adjusting to the darkness. There wasn’t much to see at first, just a lone rusted chair and a row of support columns graven into the dusty ground.

And then he heard the familiar rattle of chains.

The hunter quickly turned a corner, flashlight aimed in front of him.

Jessica.

He almost couldn’t believe it.

The blonde struggled against her bonds on an old bed. Her eyes were open as wide as they could go, and she was furiously trying to get a sound past the ropes that were jammed in her mouth.

“Jessica, it’s ok. I’m Sam’s brother. I’m getting you out.”   
The woman only struggled harder, tears glinting under the light of his flashlight.

He cautiously made his way to the side of the bed, crouched down and started working on the cuffs that held her prisoner, drilled into the floor for extra measure. 

She was  _ terrified.  _ Screaming into her gag like there was no tomorrow. Whoever took her must have been cruel, or else -

All of a sudden he felt a heavy object striking the back of his head, and he tumbled to the ground as everything around him went black.

_______________

  
  


When Dean regained his consciousness, he found himself tied to a chair.

He cursed himself for not being as sharp as he usually were, for being so full with thoughts and worries that even his instincts couldn’t save him.

“Good, you’re awake. I was getting bored.”

The hunter sluggishly lifted his head.

The man in front of him wore a suit, a pair of glasses, and a menacing smirk.

“What do you want from me?”

Dean demanded. After so many years in the lifestyle situations like these barely quickened his heart rate. He wasn’t scared by just anyone anymore, but he couldn’t deny that he  _ had  _ developed a  _ wide  _ variety of anger issues. If the man knew what was good for him he’d let him and Jessica go, leave the place and run to the other side of the earth before Dean decided to send him to the other side  _ period. _

“Well, I had hoped I would get your brother instead.”

“Tough.”   
Dean glared up at his capturer, not even batting an eyelid.

“Yes well, I learned early to make the best of situations, so,”   
The man made his way behind his chair, hands settling over the handles. All at once Dean was turned around to face Leo’s horrified face. 

The young hunter’s hands were trembling, clenched around a knife.

Jessica was still thrashing around on the bed, looking between her little brother and her kidnapper.

“You’re going to give me the Ruthenium knife, and I won’t make Leo here kill his sister.”

“I don’t have it.”   
The man grinned sadistically at him, making a show of circling Leo. He stopped behind him, laying a hand over his shoulder.

“You don’t have it  _ here _ , that I already know. I can assure you, being a smartass isn’t going to get you anywhere, so how about you give me the location of it and we can put all of this behind us, huh? What do you say?”

Leo flinched when the hand on his shoulder traveled down his arm, stopping at his fingers where he gripped the knife so hard that his skin turned white.

“What are you planning to do with it?”

“That’s none of your business.”

_ Should have seen that coming.  _

Dean considered his options;

He didn’t know why the Ruthenium knife was so important to the kidnapper, but it was a  _ knife,  _ a  _ weapon.  _ Nothing good could come out of handing it over to this douche. Especially if he knew something he didn’t.

If Sam didn’t see Jessica again - nothing would change. If he got her back, well, he really didn’t know what would happen. 

He couldn’t allow that asshole fuck Rose’s kid up by making him kill his own sister though.

_ Maybe I can call cas.  _

_ No.. I saw angel wardings outside. He won’t be able to enter, but what if..? _

Seeing that Dean was still hesitating, the kidnapper let out a frustrated sigh.

“Tell you what. Let me sweeten the deal for you...”

____________________________________________________________________________

  
  


Even hearing about his sister’s condition, Leo still sat by her, calmly explaining everything she missed while she was gone. The two of them were huddled up in the back seat of the impala, talking in whispers and the occasional heart-wrenching whimper. 

Dean had  _ no  _ idea what his next move was supposed to be. He had already texted (Y\N). Not really explaining anything - just telling her that they should get in Sam’s old charger and start heading for the bunker. 

Other than that though-

Should he call Rose’? 

What should he tell her? 

Should he let Sam see his supposed dead girlfriend before or after he told him about her.. Situation? 

How will (Y\N) fit into all of this?

Should he call Tristan? Jessica was his sister  _ too  _ after all.

_ “It’s going to be ok. I promise.” _

Leo assured his older sister, squeezing her hand in his. Dean wished he had the kid’s optimism.

The deal he had made with the kidnapper had two stages; One was simple - the location of the knife in exchange for information about Jessica’s situation.

The second part was there purely to meddle with his plans though. The psycho was smart. 

To make sure that Dean wouldn’t set him a trap he’d have to  _ physically  _ hand it over to him, this time in exchange for something Sam would most likely do just about anything for-

A cure.

They were closing in on the bunker - maybe 15 more minutes to go.

_ I have to call Rose’. She needs to know. _

Hesitantly he reached for his phone and dialed her number. She picked up almost immediately, not giving him much time to prepare what he was going to say.

_ “Did you find a lead? Please tell me you found a lead! I-I can’t take this waiting anymore Dean! Please tell me you’re getting closer to finding him!” _

The hunter took a deep breath before answering.

“I found him Rose’. I have him in the back seat. We’ll be at the bunker in 15 minutes tops.”

The other side went dead silent.

“Rose’? Rosaline are you there?”

Dean recognized the sound of shoes hitting the ground, of a person running like their life depended on it.

_ “I’m on my way.” _

____________________

  
  


When you got a text from Dean telling the two of you to head back to the bunker around three hours ago, Sam was just as puzzled as you were, but of course you did as he said. Not without asking any questions of course - you tried reaching him, but it took him so  _ long  _ to pick up the phone.

It was only when you exited Sam’s charger that you finally saw his name displayed on your screen.

“Dean?”

You asked, making your way to the front door with Sam following close behind. 

_ “Hey sweetheart.” _

Dean’s voice answered. He sounded unbelievably exhausted. 

You made your way into the bunker, throwing your shoes off in the process and laying the purple suitcase he got you on the floor. 

He said only hunters should have duffle bags, and that you should only ever use this suitcase for dresses and your unicorn pajamas. You found it a little ridiculous at first, but you understood that he wanted to keep you out of the life in any way he possibly could.

_ “I found Leo.” _

You stopped moving at once, causing Sam to run into you.

“(Y\N)? What’s wrong? What did he say?”

You turned to look at him, a wave of relief washing over you. You may have not known Tristan’s older brother personally, but the horrible mood Sam has been in for the last week and a half was all a direct result of the promise he made Rosaline. 

“He found Leo.”

Sam pretty much snatched the phone from your hand.

“Hey!”

You complained. He ignored you.

“Did you call Rose? Should I stop by her bakery?”

Dean seemed to have cut him off, and you watched as his stance relaxed a bit. 

“Ok. See you soon then.”

The hunter finished the call and handed you back the device.

“They’ll be here in five.”

____________________

Sam was ecstatic with the news. He didn’t know where Dean got that new lead, but he couldn’t find it in him to care. He just wanted to see Rosaline and her missing son reunited and put this case behind him.

He jumped to his feet when he spotted the Impala nearing the garage entrance. Little (Y\N) did the same, walking quietly after him, but still peeking from behind his back.

Dean got out of the car, looking like a herd of horses ran him over - emotionally that is. 

He looked tired and nervous beyond anything his little brother have ever seen him like before.

It made him suspicious.

The older hunter opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“There’s.. There’s something you need to see Sammy.”

_ Sammy? Now I know for  _ certain  _ something’s wrong. _

He started making his way over, his eyes narrowed worriedly on Dean, who stepped aside so he could see inside the car.

At first he only saw Leo, but then he noticed the figure of a woman sitting next to the boy. He glimpsed back at his brother for a brief second, but couldn’t find any clues there - so he decided he’d better just open the door and be done with the tension.

As soon as he did his heart stopped.

_ “Jess..?” _

Sam stared at his old love with shock. He couldn’t breathe, or move - he was surprised he could speak  _ at all.  _

Her blue eyes stared back at him, frazzled strands of blond hair dancing messily around her face and shoulders.

He looked back at Dean again. 

Dean  _ nodded _ .

____________________

You and Dean sat quietly on two of the kitchen chairs, away from the group of four occupying the living room.

Rosaline had arrived two minutes after Dean and stood by the door, eyeballs threatening to escape their sockets. She looked like she saw a ghost - which after the older hunter’s explanation was a pretty accurate way to put it.

Sam had told you about Jessica once. It was a memorable story, and it stuck with you, but you never expected it to have a sequel. Stories tend to end with the death of their protagonists. 

“How..?”

You started, looking at Dean for answers. He fidgeted uncomfortably in his seat.

“Now’s not the right time.”

His fingers drummed a nervous beat atop his jeans, eyes still glued to the hallway. Eventually though, he managed to refocus his gaze. 

On you.

“I have a favor to ask.”

You perked up in your chair at that. Dean had  _ never  _ asked you for favors before. You always figured he saw you as a child. The man rarely relied on grownups, so why would he ever rely on a little girl?

He looked serious though. Really serious.

“Anything!”

His face broke in a tiny smile at your obvious enthusiasm, but he quickly schooled it away.

“I need you to be there for Sam.”

You looked up at him, completely confused.

“Of  _ course  _ I’m gonna be there for Sam. You know that.”

You were about to question him further when the sound of boots hitting the floor caught your attention.

Sam appeared out of the hallway, heading straight for his brother. He looked nothing like the gentle giant you knew and loved. No. 

He looked like the absolute  _ epitome  _ of anger.

Before you could really understand what was happening he knocked Dean out of his chair with a furious punch to the face, stood there for a moment breathing heavily through his nose - and then just turned around and walked off.

“Are you ok?!”

You knelt down and took hold of Dean’s arm, helping him up as he cupped a hand to his bleeding nose. He tapped your hand, silently telling you he was ok. It didn’t convince you. 

Not even a  _ little  _ bit.

“Don’t move! I’m gonna get you ice and something to stop the bleeding!”

You didn’t wait for his answer before running over to the refrigerator and scooping ice unto the makeshift bag you made out of your sweater. You also spotted a roll of paper towels on the counter and hurriedly stuffed it under your arm.

The only thing left was something to put the ice in. Luckily, your eyes zeroed in on a kitchen towel hanging off the oven handle pretty quick. You grabbed it too and then hurried back over to the hurt hunter, who looked strangely expressionless at the moment. 

“Here,”

You said after having torn out a hefty amount of paper towels. You held it up to his nose.

As soon as he brought his hand up to hold them himself, you transferred all the ice from your sweater to the kitchen towel and opened his fingers, stuffing it there as well.

“I’m gonna go talk to Sam-”

You started, about to get up from where you were sitting in front of him, but he caught your arm with his free hand before you could.

“Don’t. I had it coming.”

_ “What?!” _

It came out a lot angrier than you expected it too. You were always protective of your boys. You just never expected a situation in which you’d have to keep one safe from the other.

That favor Dean asked of you finally felt like one. 

He looked at you with searching eyes, trying to read you. To see what you were going to do. 

It all fell into place pretty quickly when you realized that. 

He was waiting to see if you would follow through with his request. 

You begrudgingly dropped back down into your chair.

“You know you’ll have to tell me everything eventually, right?”

Dean tilted his head backwards, staring at the ceiling.

“Eventually.”

Satisfied with his promise for now, you looked around, wondering if Sam returned to the kitchen or to his own room for the night. The sound of the front door opening told you something different.

You stood up. 

Dean’s hand was instantly back on your arm, but you gave him a reassuring look.

“I’m not gonna yell at him for punching you. You told me to be there for him, so that’s what I’m going to do.”

With your arm free again, you started sprinting towards the front door, hoping you’d catch him before he decided to drive off in his charger.

You were at the end of the hallway when you crashed into him.

“Sam-”

It wasn’t Sam.

It was Tristan.

You just couldn’t catch a break, could you? How much shittier could this day get?

The blue eyed teen stared at you with wide, panicked eyes. 

“They’re in the kitchen.”

There. You did what was expected of you. You weren’t rude, but you also weren’t falling over yourself trying to make the situation less awkward for him. 

You knew Rosaline hid Leo’s disappearance from him, and you were sympathetic, but making him feel better was not at the top of your priority list today. 

You had enough crap of your own to last you for the next twenty years or so. You weren’t about to add more to that.

Tristan seemed to understand.

“Thanks.”

He whispered, before resuming his run through the hallway.

  
  


It was then when you stood there all alone that the tears came, and they came in a  _ waterfalls. _

Everything was fucked.  _ Everything. _

The brothers fighting meant picking sides, and that  _ punch.  _

Family. They’re family.

You tried to convince yourself, but it was all too similar to  _ back then. _

It brought back so many repressed memories,  opened up wounds so deep that it felt like you were undergoing surgery without being administered any anesthetics. 

Everything you had pushed down all these years floated back to the surface -

_ The screams, the hair pulling, the belt, the sharp edges of broken glass, the corners of flying chairs. The beating when you got home a little late. The beating when your grades weren’t perfect. The beating when you stood up for your mom. When  _ she  _ stood up for  _ you.

_ All those sleepless nights spent lying awake in bed, wondering if today would be one of  _ these  _ days. The days when you didn’t even  _ have  _ to do anything to get hurt. These days were the worst. These were the times he  _ completely  _ lost control. _

_ You remembered making up escape plans in your head - not on paper - never on paper. Considering jumping out the bedroom window - it was only four feet down! you would probably survive that! _

Before you knew what was really happening you found your body dropping to the floor.

The type of meltdown you were having was a familiar one, and it was reminiscent of  _ that  _ time. 

It was the quiet type. 

No one needed to know. Father didn’t need to know. He didn’t like it when you cried.

_ ‘You’re a waste of air!’ _

You pushed the air in. Kept it there.

_ ‘You’re a waste of space!’ _

You squeezed your knees as tightly as you could to your chest.

There was nothing you could do though, you couldn’t possibly get any smaller, and if you didn’t let in more air you were going to  _ die _ .

You tried to remember Sam’s voice telling you to breath, the way he did when you were having a panic attack. If Sam says you’re allowed - then you’re allowed, right? 

You managed a few deep breaths before you remembered the punch again. 

_ Dean! Think about Dean then!  _

_ Dean never tells you anything. You’re not an equal to him either. _

“(Y\N)?”

The familiar voice registered somewhere in your mind, but it was quickly drowned out by everything else. Your heart was so loud in your ears, you could almost imagine it traveling higher up your chest. 

And then a pair of hands closed over your shoulders.

_ Just your luck. It  _ was  _ one of  _ these  _ days.  _

From experience you knew it was better not to fight it. 

“(Y\N)!”

You closed your eyes.

You’ll be ok. You knew how to deal with this.

_ You’re at the beach. You can hear the sound of the waves. You can hear kids laughing. You can see them throwing a ball around. It’s so bright out and the sand is so soft against your feet. Mom is sitting next to you. She hands you a slice of watermelon. _

_ You’re being moved around -  _

_ But it’s by the waves - yes - it’s only the waves. You’re being carried by  _ them,  _ nothing else. _

**_‘(Y\N).’_ **

Your eyes shot open. That came from inside your  _ head.  _

“Are you back with me now?”

You blinked, looking at your surroundings. Your  _ real  _ surroundings. 

TVD posters on the wall, your favorite shirt thrown over a chair, fairy lights hang over your closet. 

You were in your room. On your bed.

With Castiel looking down at you, eyes filled with so much confusion and worry that it stole what little breath you had away.

“C-Cas?”

You asked, just to make sure. The beach seemed real. So did your old house. 

**_‘It’s me. You’re safe.’_ **

The angel must have realized that speaking directly into your mind was the best way to keep you grounded. Thank fuck.

“Were these.. Memories?”

The question caught you off guard.

“I didn’t mean to pry, I’m sorry if I made you feel violated. I can go-”

“No!”

You grabbed the lapels of his trench coat like your life depended on it.

He laid a hesitant hand over your back. 

It stayed in the exact same place for a while, testing your reaction. After a minute or two of silence though, he started gently rubbing, bringing you closer to his chest at the same time. 

You found yourself burying your head in between the lapels. 

It felt safe.

“They’re memories. Yes.”

You finally answered. 

The hand on your back froze for a second, fisting in your sweater.

**_‘Do Sam and Dean know?’_ **

“They know very little. And it’s not your right to tell them.”

You didn’t feel bad about your angry tone. You remembered pretty well what happened the last time Castiel decided to meddle with secrets.

“I know. I’m sorry. You should know however, that’s not why I asked.”

You tilted your head backwards, but from your position you could only see the angel’s taut jaw.

“I just think it could help you to talk with them about it. They have both been through very similar situations.”

You shook your head. No.

Forget telling them about your past - they had too much stuff to deal with in the  _ present. _

“I was under the impression that on your birthday everyone is expected to focus entirely on you. Tomorrow is your birthday, is it not?”

Your head snapped up so quick that it collided with Cas’s chin.

“You  _ remembered? _ ”

The fond smile that was currently spreading across the angel’s lips made your heart turn to mush. You felt warm. 

Loved.

“I promise you tomorrow will be fun.”

Something told you to trust him on that. 

“All I need from you is one thing: Be dressed and ready to leave by 9:00 am. Can you do that for me?”

  
  


____________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo what do you guys think? I promise next chapter will be a little lighter!


	37. A mess too big to sweep under a rag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Y\N) gets to go somewhere she always wanted to visit and runs into two unexpected faces. Dean's dealing with shit I don't wanna spoil, and Sam gets some much needed closure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter turned out reaaaaally long guys. I hope you enjoy.   
> I'm just glad I managed to update before Christmas.

You ended up waking up earlier than you had planned too. 

It was surprising you managed to fall asleep at  _ all _ .

Your head was producing double the amount of thoughts it did regularly and it felt like any second now your skull would crack.

 

The bunker was dead silent when you sat up in your bed. You looked at the clock sitting on your bedside cabinet. Two hours to burn.

You wondered what Cas had in mind when he made you that promise yesterday. You also started to  _ doubt  _ it.

How could you possibly have any fun when the brothers were in no mood to celebrate? They were too occupied - understandably so, and you were pretty sure that with everything going on they didn’t even remember it.

 

_ So what? Big deal.  _

You convinced yourself. No point crying over it. 

Throwing your big winter blanket aside, you made your way over to your closet. You needed a distraction,  _ and  _ a way to make yourself feel better.

You picked out a long sleeved dress that ended a tad higher above the knees than you would normally wear. It was black and had those adorable, white, lace details traveling up from the ends of the sleeves and from the bottom of the skirt.

 

After slipping it on you matched it with some knee socks that you knew Dean wouldn’t approve of, but you couldn’t really bring yourself to care at the moment.

You gave yourself a look over in the mirror.

_ Well… it’s getting there. _

You gathered your hair with your hands and forked your fingers through, watching it grow longer. 

You entertained the idea of letting it go anime-character style - making it long enough to reach the ground and dying it in a ridiculous color like pink or turquoise - but decided against it. For obvious reasons.

 

You decided to leave it at your natural color and at waist-length.

 

The hallway was dark since the lights were still off, so you pulled out your phone. 

You were glad you didn’t put your shoes on yet, you didn’t want to wake anybody up. The Moores decided to stay the night and you weren’t sure which room Sam put them in, but you knew one thing - you weren’t going to take any chances, the absolute  _ last  _ thing you wanted was to run into Tristan again.

Since you weren’t planning on going anywhere in particular, you figured the second floor would be your safest guess, since most of the bedrooms were downstairs.

 

As you aimlessly walked through the many corridors, you realized you have never once explored that part of the bunker. The brothers weren’t too subtle about keeping you out of it either, though they never gave you an explanation as to why.

 

_ “Was that really wise telling them that? Had you just told them the truth I’m sure you could have spared yourself the broken nose.” _

You froze in place when you heard the low voice of Castiel quietly echoing between the walls. He sounded right around the corner, so you hurriedly turned off your phone and froze in your spot.

_ “I couldn’t. Do you think I could get any information out of that psycho if Sam knew I had him right here in the bunker? And what would I tell Rose’?” _

Dean’s voice answered.

You perked up, wondering what he was referring to. 

_ Who did he have in the bunker? Jessica’s kidnapper? Why wouldn’t he tell Sam?  _

You wanted to listen in a little longer, but before you got the chance the sound of footsteps registered in your ears. You couldn’t stay there any longer if you fancied the idea of not getting caught. 

You tiptoed your way back, holding your breath the entire time. When you were finally back next to the staircase you sighed in relief.

 

“I didn’t peg you for an eavesdropper (Y\N).”

You nearly slipped over the first step when Castiel appeared in front of you without any warning.

“Sorry..”

You looked down, nervously fiddling with your phone. The angel promised to make today fun for you. You didn’t want to hurt or upset him when he was being so considerate, especially when he owed you nothing.

“I’m not mad, or hurt for that matter.”

You met his calm blue eyes with gratitude. 

 

“You’re already dressed.”

He commented, eyes narrowing around your outfit. Around your knee socks and the amount of exposed skin the dress didn’t cover in particular. 

“Are you certain this dress code is appropriate?”

_ Not him too!  _ You barely kept from rolling your eyes - something told you doing that would be a bad idea.

“Appropriate for what exactly?”

You couldn’t keep the sarcasm out of your voice no matter how hard you tried, but you did manage to take out some of the bite. 

 

Instead of answering your question the angel tilted his head to the side, looking at you with a raised eyebrow and a fond smile that made your cheeks heat up.

“Would you like to know where I’m taking you today?”

He said after a long, uncomfortable (at least on your end) pause.

You nodded enthusiastically.

 

“How do you feel about a full day at Disneyland?”

 

It was safe to say that your mind had become completely blank after hearing Cas’s plans. 

“Are you serious..? Because you have no idea how much i’ve always wanted to go and if you’re  _ not  _ serious-”

“I’m serious.”

You stared at his proud smile with awe. His  _ eyes  _ were twinkling. You found yourself leaping at him in what very quickly became an awkward hug, and the sight of his nervously flailing hands made you giggle. 

You pushed your head back to look at him expectedly.

“So when are we leaving?”

 

Castiel furrowed his eyebrows in thought. He pulled out a phone that either Sam or Dean must have given him and raised it in front of his face and over your head. 

“Well, from what the website says the park is scheduled to open at 8:00. It’s 7:25 at the moment.”

You nodded, heart beating in excitement. The angel let out a sound that was ridiculously close to a squeak when you squeezed your arms around his waist again.

“Then let’s go eat something while we wait. I mean,”

You hurried to correct yourself.

“I mean, I guess I’ll eat, since you don’t... Are you sure you really don’t need to eat? The boys  _ love  _ my banana pancakes!”

 

You announced proudly. It was a recipe that took you two entire weeks to perfect, which may sound insane, but creating pancakes that suited both the brother’s tastes was a difficult task - especially since they were entirely vegan and had nothing sweetening their flavour other than the bananas of course, and some organic maple syrup which despite what you initially thought really wasn’t as sweet as the ones sold in the supermarkets.

Cas peered down at you with a gentle smile and a pair of curious blue eyes.

 

“I would love to try them, but I’m afraid no matter how good they are they won’t taste of anything to a celestial being such as myself.”

On any other day you would probably be a little bummed that you couldn’t share one of the only things you could actually cook with your favorite angel, but fuck that-

_ I’m going to Disneyland! _

Having read your thoughts, Castiel dug his right hand into the pocket of his trenchcoat, pulling out one of those red, disneyland Minnie Mouse hair bows. He awkwardly stuck it atop your head, as if not a 100% sure where it was supposed to go.

 

“It would seem you are.”

____________________________________________________________________________

 

Jessica woke up slow; the room taking it’s blurry shape around her blink after blink, eyelids heavy with dreams she could no longer remember. The familiar warmth of a blanket wrapped around her body tried and nearly succeeded in beckoning her back into sleep, But a part of her insisted she fight against it. It was the aware half of her brain - the one that kept trying to kick it’s sibling into consciousness. 

It won eventually.

 

She sat up in a panicked jump that single-handedly managed to startle both herself, and her four slumbering guardians completely awake.

Rosaline was first by the blonde’s side, sitting herself on her knees by the bed and brushing a few messy strands of hair out of her daughter’s eyes.

Jessica was once again struck with this strange new reality she was thrown into. A reality in which she’s been gone long enough for her mother to develop all those new lines and creases - between her eyebrows, around her mouth, stretching sideways from her eyes. 

 

Sitting on the floor next to Rosaline were her two ‘ _ baby’  _ brothers, all grown up. Leo looked like he might even be older than her. 

The two took to rigidly holding their posts in silence, not having the slightest clue what they were supposed to say. Tristan in particular looked like was on the verge of running out the door.

She almost wished he would. She almost wished they  _ all  _ would.

 

And then there was Sam. 

He wasn't  _ her _ Sam though, not the Sam who could spend hours playing tag with the puppy she got him for Christmas, not the Sam who used to insist on doing those god-awful impersonations of Gollum in failed attempts to make her laugh, not the Sam who overflowed with determination and hope, who had his entire life planned out and laid in front of him.  

 

The Sam in front of her looked… not exactly broken, but thoroughly  _ cracked _ , and very close to bursting into tears. 

She wanted nothing more than to find some glue and stick everything back where it belonged, and not just for  _ his  _ sake - for  _ hers _ as well. 

She needed her sweet, confident, reliable Sam back. He used to keep her so calm and grounded. It pained her to see those hazel-greens dimmed with so much hurt.

 

“Jess..”

He started, but without any plans to finish. He just wanted to say her name and see her nod back. She was content to do just that.

He slowly rose up from where his sleeping bag laid wrinkled on the floor, and waves of unexpected warmth washed over her heart when she noticed how crammed with those the room actually was, just so they could all sleep in close proximity to her.

As soon as she was within grabbing distance, the giant allowed himself to drop on the bed besides her and wrap his arms around her waist, burying his nose in her hair. 

If one thing  _ didn’t  _ change - it was his bone-cracking bear hugs.

 

_ “Sam, maybe now is not the time..” _

Rosaline’s voice was torn somewhere between an order and a plea when she laid her hand on his shoulder. When Sam pulled back, mumbling apologizes in a panic, Jessica immediately threw her arms around him to keep him in place. 

“It’s ok mom.”

She assured her. 

She clutched the man’s shaking body to hers, running comforting hands over his back as he miserably and unsuccessfully tried to hold back tears. 

 

Whether he was  _ her  _ Sam or not, everything in her screamed to hold him tight and ease his pain away.

_ “It’s ok, I’m ok.” _

She whispered to him, to herself - to everyone present in the room. It took a full five minutes of that for Sam to eventually let her go, at which point his tears had already dried. His eyes were still wet, but thankfully the shaking had stopped.

 

“I’m, ah,”

Leo cleared his throat, drawing her attention to where he was still sitting next to his equally nervous brother.

“I’m glad you’re ok.”

Jessica sent him a soft smile. 

Leo’s was the first face she saw when she woke up at that abandoned warehouse, and even though she remembered him as no older than fifteen years old, his features were still recognizable under his sharp jaw and newly acquired stubble.

It wasn’t really that which had her smiling at him though. The changes in his appearance were really all that was left of his old self, that she could recognize at the moment at least.

 

What had her smiling was who he was when he helped her unto the Impala. Who he was when he sat with her at the back and gently explained everything to her. What had her smiling was pride over whom he had  _ become. _

_ He grew up so well.. _

“I’m only here thanks to  _ you. _ ”

She told him. They didn’t get too deep into the details of what had brought him to where her kidnapper was keeping her, but she knew it involved blackmail, and a  _ lot  _ of it.

Leo didn’t reply to that, only smiled sadly in return.

 

_ And that just left.. Tristan. _

Him she couldn’t recognize at all, no surprises there really. He was only four years old when she last saw him. Their relationship used to consist entirely of intense hide and seek sessions and a myriad of unfunny fart jokes.

He fiddled with the thick fabric of his sleeping bag, not quite meeting her eyes. 

“How old are you?”

The words escaped her before she could stop it. She  _ had  _ hoped she could manage a better, if slightly lighter a question, but it seemed her mouth beat her brain to it.

 

“Seventeen.”

He answered, finally dragging his eyes up from where they sat prisoners in his lap. 

 

She was going to have a really  _ hard  _ time processing everything.

 

____________________________________________________________________________

  
  


Dean picked up a recently sharpened knife out the tray of ‘ _ tools _ ’ he had brought out the day before.

He kept the confident, malicious facade on for his prisoner, but inside he was nearing a breaking point.

_ What if I can’t get him to talk? What if I did all of this for nothing? _

He sneaked a glance at Jessica’s kidnapper. Robert - the name was the only thing he managed to get out of the guy, and it was absolutely useless to him.

 

He was a stubborn man; Dean was quickly running out of clean tools to use on him. 

He took his time turning the knife over, making sure ‘Robert’ caught the way it glinted at the tip. Building up tension was an important part of soliciting information. It was a torture technique all on its own.

It also gave him time to think. Everyone has a weak point. 

 

Dean, for example, had one too many. Too many people he cared about.

He didn’t know why he thought that this part in particular would change over time. In his mind, if his enemies used up all their _ ‘Dean Winchester Weak Point Cards™’ _ they would eventually run out.

For some reason, while that was still true to a degree, the hunter found himself constantly getting attached to more and more new people.

He also found himself caring so much for the selected few he called family, that his brain would constantly conjure up horrible images depicting their deaths in the most horrific ways it could find, and with the shit he’s seen - it had a lot to base them on.

 

But it wasn’t only their deaths that plagued his nightmares. Lying to them took a pretty big chunk out of the pie chart too.

He didn’t  _ want  _ to lie to Sam. Not about matters concerning who he was pretty sure was the  _ love of his life. _

Usually he could hide behind the  _ ‘I’m doing it for his own good.’  _ excuse. He could chant that in the back of his mind day after day, until with time it would eventually become valid.

This time he didn’t lie to protect  _ anyone _ .

Not for the near foreseeable future at least.

 

That was the scariest part about this whole thing- he was making these decisions based on what his  _ gut  _ was telling him. Over years of hunting he learned to trust it, and back at that abandoned warehouse it all but  _ screamed  _ at him that there was something more to that kidnapper, something more to that Ruthenium knife.

Praying to Cas, telling him to capture the maniac when he reached the bunker to pick up his payment was the easy part. Torturing him, slicing him up - nothing new.

Going behind everyone’s back - that was the hard part.

 

In his defence, the choices he had to choose between were unbelievably tough this time around:

He could either accept the kidnapper’s deal and physically hand the knife over in exchange for a cure for Jessica’s condition, or, he could capture the guy and try his luck in getting it out of him, in  _ addition  _ for some much needed information about the knife.

 

Everything would have been so much easier if it wasn’t for the part that Leo and Jessica had to play in all of this.

Dean knew that if Sam thought ‘Robert’ was still breathing he would set off in a murderous rage, which wouldn’t be that big of a problem if he didn’t need him alive. 

No. Sam had to think he was dead, and the only way it would make even the slightest sense for Dean to kill him was if the offer he put on the table wasn’t as valuable to him as what he was going to lose.

 

So Dean played the part - he ‘ _ killed’  _ Robert so he wouldn’t have to ‘ _ give up’ _ the knife, and that’s exactly what he told Jessica and her brother:

He told them to stay in the car, walked back into the warehouse which was empty since Robert had already left for the bunker, sliced a cut in an area that was hidden by the sleeve of his jacket, and then smeared the blood on his chest - making it look a little more believable that he had just killed somebody. 

After that he made his way back to them, slammed the door of the Impala shut, and told them that they had  _ no hope _ for a cure anymore because he didn’t take the deal they heard the kidnapper offer him only a mere minutes ago.

 

There were very few things in his life that hurt as bad as seeing the light go right out of their eyes. It was like someone threw a very thick blanket over a bonfire.  

Leo had fought him then, even managed a well aimed kick to his stomach before Jessica got him to settle down. The only reason he was willing to dial down his anger was because the two  _ were  _ technically only alive because Dean had come to their rescue.

He had the feeling that was the exact same reason why Rose’ was keeping quiet for the time being.

Sam, on the other hand - had no need to stay quiet. He just walked right up to him and showed him how furious he was, and while he expected it, prepared himself for it,  it still hurt.

 

He couldn’t afford to fail. 

Robert had to talk.

 

____________________________________________________________________________

  
  


The sound of classic Disney tunes circled around you in a whirlpool that had you flying higher than the clouds floating in the bright blue sky. Your heart jumped even higher.

You knew from TV commercials that Disneyland was big, but you didn’t realize just how much until you passed through the front gates.

_ God, it’s enormous! _

Cas seemed impressed by it too, standing next to you with a slightly agape mouth. His eyes seemed to devour everything in front of him with a hunger you never expected him to posses.

 

He pulled out the map you had gotten when you handed over your tickets. Wordlessly he spread it out in front of the both of you, finger trailing over the many rides and attractions you could choose from. 

“Where do you suppose we should begin?”

His eyes were already lost in the possibilities, adventuring across the colorfully drawn sheet of paper with uncharacteristic enthusiasm.

_ “Humans really are special.” _

If he wasn’t standing so close to you there was no way you would’ve caught that, but you did, and you couldn’t stop the smile that made its way to your lips.

 

“I say we walk around, and when we see something we like we’ll go check it out.”

Once the angel nodded his agreement, the two of you started half-walking half-running forwards.

You felt like you just entered - well, you giddly laughed to yourself-

_ This place is very accurately named. _

Your eyes jumped from one unique structure to another, drinking in the weirdly-shaped houses, the funny looking windows, the colorful signs and the green lamp posts sprinkled all over the place. You didn’t know where to rest your gaze on. 

 

“How do you feel about that one?”

You turned to look at Cas, who was pointing towards a large wooden sign that read  _ Splash Mountain  _ in light blue letters _.  _ Behind it was, true to its name - a very big mountain that had a pretty tall looking waterfall cascading down the front. Leading to it was a long line of excited people. You read about this particular ride before. 

“Let's get in line!”

You pulled him behind you, smiling like a maniac.

 

When it was finally your turn, you hurriedly climbed into the front seat with Cas making himself comfortable behind you.

It was a  _ blast. _

The water splashed over you on the way down in a drizzle after drizzle of undiluted joy. It was hard to remember the reason you were so sad yesterday, especially after you collected the picture that was taken when you went screaming down the mountain with a completely unaffected Castiel sitting behind you.

“How did that  _ not  _ make you scared?”

The angel smiled somewhat mirthfully.

“This is was hardly my least pleasant fall.”

 

After that the two of you dragged each other all over; You were more interested in roller coasters, and you ticked them off one after another - starting light with the Seven Dwarfs Mine Train, all the way to the hardcore California Screamin’. Cas had a whole new hairdo when you finally stepped out of the cart. You stopped your hysterical giggling only long enough to snap a picture. 

The trench coat wearing celestial being on the other hand was more interested in the smaller attractions, like the Animation Academy, the Chip n’ Dale Treehouse, and currently the Finding Nemo Submarine Voyage.

 

He stared out the circular window, looking thoroughly fascinated with the view in front of him. You had trouble hiding a ginormous smile when his eyes widened after the ‘Captain’ had mentioned that they can now hear the fish talk thanks to  _ Sonar Hydrophones  _ located inside the submarine.

You weren’t much for these type of rides, but his bewildered expression made it all worth it. That and the hilariously adorable huffs of frustration that escaped him when some other kids behind him announced that they saw Nemo. You assured him he’ll see him too soon enough, but he didn’t seem like he was listening.

 

You fixed your eyes out the window as well, but didn’t really look at anything in particular. As much as you were enjoying every second of your extravagant birthday present, you still wished you could have spent it with the brothers. Maybe you were getting greedy. If you were though - it would be entirely  _ their  _ fault for spoiling you as much as they did. 

You also knew that they would be having just as much fun as you were having - no matter how much they would try to deny it. 

Dean especially. Everytime you passed by an attraction you knew he’d like, your heart hurt a little.

 

“Why the long face little human? It’s your birthday! My offer still stands you know - I can still snap my fingers and you’d be spending it with Ian Somerhalder.”

Your eyes snapped away from the window, shocked at the familiar voice.

_ “Gabriel..?” _

“In the flesh!”

He wore the same vulpine smile he did the last time you saw him. The same mischievous spark in his eyes.   _ He hasn’t changed one bit,  _ you thought fondly. 

By now Cas had noticed the extra presence next to you as well, and his eyes closed around his brother suspiciously. You were about to go for a hug when the younger angel stopped you with a gentle, but unexpectedly firm hold over your hand.

 

“What are you doing here?”   
Gabriel snorted.

“I’m here for (Y\N)’s birthday, obviously.”

He winked at you. If it were anyone else your cheeks would probably be burning, but since it  _ was  _ him you could hardly take it seriously. Maybe it had to do with the fact that the guy had zero filter, but there were very few things he could pull that could actually make you embarrassed. 

“I don’t think I believe you.”

Cas announced, keeping his hand around yours in a slightly tighter grip than before.

 

“I believe him.”

You squeaked. 

 

____________________________________________________________________________

  
  


The bastard  _ still  _ wasn’t talking, and Dean finally let himself take a break. 

It wasn’t an easy thing to do though, because every turn he took walking nervously through the bunker, he could feel waves of disappointment coming at him from every direction. He hasn’t bumped into anyone yet thankfully, but the air was still suffocating somehow. 

As he entered his room and closed the door behind him, he let out a sigh of relief. He dropped down on the bed and quickly snatched his phone off the nightstand.

_ Two new messages. Both from Cas. _

 

He looked through them, feeling like his heart had hit the floor. At this point he thought he was supposed to be immune to it cracking quite so severely. Wasn’t it supposed to be like an old Nokia phone by now? 

_ Apparently not.  _

Cas sent him a picture he took of (Y\N). It was a little out of focus, and Dean guessed that his awkward friend didn’t quite familiarize himself with the concept of selfies yet, because despite him writing it  _ was  _ one his face wasn’t in the frame at all. (Y\N) didn’t seem like she was aware that he took a photo of her either.

The girl was smiling one of the widest, toothiest smiles he’s ever seen her pull, her face turned to look at something he couldn’t see. The Minnie Mouse bow on her head was a little crooked, and he wished he was there to fix it.

 

He didn’t  _ forget  _ that today was her birthday, he just knew that right now there was no  _ way  _ he could get her to smile like that. When Castiel offered to take her out instead he felt like an absolute failure, but there was really nothing he could do about it at the moment. 

 

When it’ll all blow over he’ll give her a proper birthday party. 

One with a huge cake and a thousand balloons. He planned on dragging her favorite singer over. Cas even offered to use his angel mojo to wipe his memory afterwards, and he already got her a present. Well, present _ s.  _ She was a curious kid - had more than a dozen different things she would take interest in every month, so the possibilities were endless.

He knew Sam had stuff planned as well. 

He tried to not think about it too much.

 

Feeling too restless to stay put, Dean got up again, this time heading for the kitchen, but as soon as he entered through the open door his boots dug into the ground in an abrupt stop.

Jessica sat by the counter, dressed in the shirt Sam had lended her earlier when he deemed her previous outfit unwearable due to countless of tears and holes in the fabric. 

The blonde raised her head to meet his flighty gaze.

“I’m, uh, I’m just gonna leav-”

“Stay.”

 

Her tone was firm. Not at all what he would’ve expected out of someone who woke up hostage in an abandoned warehouse only a day before.

He found himself fumbling over how he should react. He didn’t get much of a chance to form a plan before she interrupted his train of thought, however.

“I wanna know the whole story. I’m sick of all the coddling and Sam won’t tell me anything.”

 

Dean worked his expertly-mastered poker face into place and then threw in a raised eyebrow for good measure. A lot of people got intimidated by the eyebrow thing, because it suggested that what they were saying was completely absurd. No one likes other people thinking you’re crazy. 

Not all people fell for that though. Not the intelligent type.

He realized a little too late which type Jessica was.

 

“Are you  _ really  _ about to try the whole innocent act with me?”   
The hunter was starting to feel a little too out of his element for comfort. He had no idea where he even  _ stood  _ with the girl. 

There were too many variables for him to come to a plausible answer, so he just looked back into her stern eyes and hoped that by some great miracle she would let this go. Of course, when had that ever happened?

“You have blood stains on your right sleeve, and they can’t be from yesterday because you already changed. How did they get there? Let's start with that.”

 

Dean silently cursed himself for not being more careful. He hadn’t noticed the stains when he stopped by the bathroom for a quick clean up.

What was he even going to say? He didn’t want to upset her any further, but anything he brought up would inevitably make it back to Sam, and he just couldn’t risk that.

“I’m working on putting this mess behind us. That’s all you need to know.”

The expression on Jessica’s face made him want to take a couple of steps backwards. Just in case. She looked seethingly furious at this point.

 

“ _I_ _am_ the mess! You can’t just sweep me under a rag and hope I disappear! I deserve the chance to defend myself, and to do that I _need_ to know everything _you_ know. “

When she finished her shoulders were shaking, but she didn’t let his eyes wander away from hers for even a second, determined to get her message across.

Dean had not even the slightest clue what he should do now. He knew she was right, but telling her everything could have some pretty disastrous consequences. 

“I really can’t. I wish I could, but I can’t. I don’t plan on sweeping you under any rug, believe me. I’m trying to get more information about your condition too, but-”

 

“ _ Too?  _ There! Already something I should probably know about!”

She cut him off again. Her voice got louder, climbing higher and higher in a panic that pushed her forward with steps that neither of them realized she was taking until they placed her a mere few inches away from his face.

“I  _ need  _ to know.”

All the blue in her eyes couldn’t put out the fire raging within them. He didn’t even expect there to  _ be  _ any fire. He thought all he’ll see will inevitably be a couple of grey clouds and an endless amount of rain.

 

“Look, I,”

He set a heel on the floor behind him and was about to evade her again, when she grabbed him by the collar of his flannel like she had the power to physically lift him up by it. He almost believed she  _ did.  _

“Fine  _ fine!  _ But you have to promise me something first!”

Jessica let out an enormous sigh of relief, letting the fabric of his shirt fall out of her hands. She was even kind enough to put some space between them again.

“Talk. I’m listening.”

 

Dean took a deep breath, calming his rampant heartbeat to the best of his abilities. 

_ A deal is a deal. If she’s gonna take it - fine. If she isn’t than that ain’t my problem. _

“You can’t tell Sam.”

“I can’t do that.”

The reply was immediat. He never realized she was that loyal. All this time he’s been unconsciously trying to find faults,  _ something  _ that could make him go ‘ _ See! I knew it! She’s not good enough for my baby brother. _ ’. She didn’t give him any of that. There was no easy out to this situation. She was going to hang around by her teeth if she had to.

That realization scared him more than he was capable of understanding.

 

“Ok. How about this then: Give me two days.  _ Two days.  _ If by the end of them I can’t get the information I need then you can go ahead and tell him. That sound fair to you?”

The blonde scrunched up her face in thought, taking time to mull over his offer. She didn’t mind that the room was completely silent as she did. That some other people - AKA  _ him  _ would find something like that awkward. She didn’t let any of that interfere with her thought process, and he couldn’t help but think that the whole thing was pretty impressive.

“Ok. I agree.”

Her face changed from that of an angry warrior to that of a harmless bunny in three seconds flat. 

_ I am so deep in shit right now, aren't I? _

 

_ ____________________________________________________________________________ _

  
  


The two angels waited until the end of the Nemo submarine thing before they fully started their loud argument. Since you took Gabriel's side Cas was determined to keep you out of it, so you found yourself begrudgingly sat on one of the wooden benches, scowling down at the ground beneath you.

You didn’t think Gabe had any ill intentions. If he was ever planning on showing up again - now  _ would  _ be the ideal time. 

His parting with Sam and Dean had not been pleasant, to say the least.

 

_ “Hot cashier girl?” _

The sudden voice coming from in front of you made you jump. You slowly dragged your eyes up to look at a very familiar face. You weren’t too quick to forget that blond hair and blue eyes.

_ “Dorito guy?” _

You asked, eyes wide with surprise.

The guy rubbed the back of his neck nervously, probably noticing the way he so naturally called you  _ hot _ .

“I’m sorry, I mean,”

He awkwardly coughed into a closed fist.

“I’ve got no game, do I?”

 

You would have burst out laughing if you didn’t have to worry about attracting the attention of the two thankfully still arguing angels behind you.

“Are you  _ kidding me?  _ What you pulled at the store was the smoothest thing I’ve ever seen!”

Seemingly feeling a little better, ‘Dorito guy’ allowed a very small, but  _ very smug  _ grin to climb unto his lips.

“Well, I didn’t get a call back so I just assumed..”

“Oh, no! I just, I had… Things were a little complicated. I’m sorry.”

You hurried to explain yourself. 

 

You clasped your fingers together, nervous. Every second of silence felt like an hour. When he spoke again you could’ve  _ kissed  _ him. 

Oh god. Bad idea. He probably already found some other girl since the last time you saw him. It was a while ago, and he was  _ really  _ handsome.

“Are things…  _ still  _ complicated?”

He asked sheepishly.

_ Well what do you know? _

_ Maybe the world decided it’s time to restore some much needed balance. _

 

“I’m (Y\N).”

“Sean.”

____________________________________________________________________________

  
  


Jessica returned to ‘her’ room, deep in thought. She hated putting her trust in someone she didn’t know, but Dean had promised again and again that he knew what he was doing. 

That  _ should  _ have made her, if not happy then at least a little less worried - but the guy basically admitted to her that he was messed up enough to torture a guy, and without any hesitation  _ either _ . 

She didn’t remember much about him, having only met him once before and all, but from what she could recall he didn’t strike her as someone who had the stomach to do that. 

She felt like she was plucked right out of earth and dropped onto Mars or something. Nothing had ever been quite this confusing before.

 

“Jess?”

Sam’s oddly deep voice greeted her from behind, and she schooled away the urge to jump in the other direction. Everytime she had a similar reaction to him the gentle giant seemed to close up in a weak attempt to hide his pain, and different or not she could never be ok with seeing him like that.

Instead of saying anything she turned around, accepting his desperate offer for a hug. When she was buried in his familiar warmth again everything seemed to make a just little more sense.

“I’m here.”

She reassured him.

 

They stood that way for a while, just basking in the comfort of each other’s embrace, until finally Sam had pulled back to look at her.

He did that a lot. She guessed it was because of her sudden return, but a part of her kept thinking that maybe she  _ also  _ looked older and just didn’t know it yet.

“I was just about to go looking for you. Are you hungry? I can make your  _ favorite  _ if you want.”

The blonde was torn between indulging in the extra care and kicking it completely off the map.

 

Sam had always been a loving boyfriend, but never like  _ that,  _ and she needed  _ normalcy _ . So did he. All that attention was not good for either of them.

“Just eggs would be nice.”

She told him, catching one of his big hands in hers. He sucked his breath at that. 

They’ve had nothing more intense than a couple of hugs since they were reunited, and if anything  _ more  _ looked like it was about to happen Sam would get this look - like he truly believed she would break.

She was getting kind of sick of that.

 

Slowly, little by little, Jessica tilted her head upwards. She let her hands travel up his arms, over his shoulders, finally letting them rest on his cheeks.

He looked so nervous he could jump out of his skin, so before doing anything she just allowed her fingers to caress his burning hot skin in what she hoped was a comforting manner.

He closed his eyes almost immediately, and his hands flew up to squeeze her own. 

“I missed this. I missed  _ you.  _ You have no idea, after you.. After.. You were - gone, and I was..”   
He trailed off, words stumbling over his uneven voice.

 

She didn’t reply. This was the first moment they had completely to each other, and she knew he needed to let it out. Let  _ everything  _ out.

“I was so  _ angry _ , it was my way to not deal with the pain, but Jess, when I did I just.. And now you might..”

He opened his eyes, but closed them again after only a second.

“It was  _ my  _ fault. Everything that happened was because that demon was  _ after me _ .”

She couldn’t believe how he didn’t recognize just how ridiculous he sounded.

“That is the single dumbest thing you’ve ever told me, and you say some pretty retarded stuff when you’re drunk.”

The outburst rewarded her with a breathy laugh.  _ God she missed that sound!  _

 

The hunter looked a little more relaxed now. Eventually he even managed to hold her gaze for more than five seconds. 

And then she caught him eyeing her lips. 

Or rather, he caught her catching him eyeing her lips. 

“I, uh,”

His hands flew away from hers like they were burned by an oven, but she wasn’t ready to let all her hard work go to waste. Nope. No way. She wasn’t about to let him off that easy.

 

With a push on her toes Jessica crushed her lips into Sam’s, her arms locking themselves around his neck. 

He made a surprised  _ ‘mpfff’  _ noise when she sealed her mouth over his, but took his sweet time reacting. 

_ That’s ok. I’ll just have to coax it out of him. _

She buried her hands in his hair, sensually sucking on his bottom lip until he finally parted it from the upper one. She wasted no time diving in, and he finally _ , finally  _ caved.

Gone was the nervous wreck. The kiss turned bruising. He put everything he had into it. All the hurt, all the desperation, all the love.

All the lust.

  
  


Before she could blink once he had her pressed against the wall. 

_ “Sam!” _

She breathed, pulling away to get some air. He pressed their foreheads together and captured her eyes with his the way he used to - filled with confidence. 

“If you don’t want this you better tell me now. I’m not planning on stopping for a breather again.”

The blonde felt her lips curve in a smile at that. She wasn’t expecting him to.

 

“I didn’t give you any mixed signals, did I? God! Why are men so complicated?”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you guys think? This chapter was a lot of fun to write, and I didn't even get to the good part yet! I'd really love to hear your thoughts!


	38. Storms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't wanna give anything away, so...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy~   
> (Hopefully)

Tristan folded the letter in his hand carefully. Gently. Silently. Slowly -  _ so  _ slowly. and then found himself unable to move. Frozen in time.

Everything he worked towards, all he believed in felt like it was yanked from between his fingers only to leave a big hole filled with emptiness behind, and that hole had somehow figured out a way to feel heavy, and just how the hell could a hole filled with absolutely nothing feel _ heavy? _

 

He watched her chest rise and fall, eyes closed in gentle slumber, and for a split second wished she’d wake up screaming again.

It was so like her. 

Magnets. That’s what she always said about them. That they were like magnets, well - magnets have two sides, and she’s been turning back and forth like a hyperactive child playing with a light switch. 

Yesterday was different though. Yesterday she crossed a line he didn’t even know he had. 

He thought he was blank. Everything within that blankness was her - all of it:  all the greys and blacks of fear and blotches of deep red anger. He didn’t remember painting a line of his own in there. 

 

Noticing it had awakened something within him. 

 

He started thinking. 

Searching for color. 

If there was a red line then maybe there was a rainbow hanging around somewhere. 

 

He placed the letter down on the desk by the bed.

 

Maybe he could still fill that hole of his with something worth living for.

 

____________________________________________________________________________

 

“Again, what do you think I’m even planning anyway?”

Gabriel was getting tired of Castiel’s shit. Mainly because arguing with the guy was like arguing with a wall, in the sense that he preferred to get his point across by silent glares alone. It was infuriating!

“Would you stop that already? Just say what you really think and let’s get on with life. This is Disneyland for father’s sake! What are we even still arguing for?”

Castiel glared even harder if that was possible, but finally,  _ finally  _ opened his mouth again.

 

“I do not understand why I must explain this to you. You have been alive since the beginning of time itself. Do you not know yourself by now? Are you truly that daft?”

To say he was not surprised would be a lie. His brother had never resorted to insults during their arguments before. He must be pretty protective of the little human if he was willing to go that far to make sure no harm would befall her. That or maybe he was just terrified of what the Winchesters would do to him if something happened to her on his watch. 

Yikes. Babysitting for those guys would be terrifying. Worst job in the entire world. 

 

“Fine. I will explain then.”

The angel continued, and Gabriel realized that Cas was waiting for a reply that he didn’t have the time to construct, since he spent it all on imagining Sam and Dean murdering poor innocent babysitters. He forced those images out of his brain so he could listen to what his brother had to say, even though he was thoroughly entertained by them.

 

“You are never as simple as you try to appear. Take your part in the Norse mythology for instance - playing ‘nice’ and siding with the gods for a while, we all thought you were changing you know? And then all at once you turned on everything you claimed to have believed in. There is a reason why they call you the trickster. You even called  _ yourself  _ that on multiple occasions. I will not risk you ‘pulling’ ‘tricks’ on a ‘harmless’ fifteen year old ‘human’ girl.”

The furious air quotes did the opposite of strengthening his point, but they didn’t stand in the way of it either. At least now Gabriel knew what Castiel was so worried about.

 

“I would never harm (Y\N).”

The trench coat wearing angel gave him another stern look. He didn’t seem like he believed him just yet, so Gabriel hurried to explain himself further.

“Why would I? She’s the reason my son’s still alive! Granted, he’s been quite the hassle lately..”

He trailed off, looking incredibly tired all of a sudden - a side of him he knew the world wasn’t greeted with too often. Cas seemed to notice and narrowed his eyes further.

“Look bottom line, I’m not here to cause you guys any trouble. Ok?”

 

The blue eyed angel sighed, but eventually made his begrudged approval known with a curt nod. He then turned his gaze elsewhere, probably looking for (Y\N). 

His eyes fell on the empty bench where she was supposed to be sitting.

_ “No, no,” _

Panic very much evident on his paling face, Castiel scoured his surroundings with urgent eyes. He took three or four steps in each direction, each time coming to a complete halt, as he didn’t want to risk going the wrong way. Too many scenarios were running through his brain, and he felt a little out of breath. 

 

Gabriel held his hands up in defence when his brother charged at him, looking tethered between fury and dread.

_ “Where is she? What did you do?” _ _   
_ “I told you, I would never hurt her. I didn’t do anything!”

Emitting something that sounded disturbingly close to a growl, Castiel stared him down. Stared him  _ so down _ , if that made any sense, that the older angel felt like he was trying to hold up a 6 story building.  

 

“I swear if you had anything to do with this-”

 

“You're overreacting brother. She probably just got bored and wandered off looking for a cool ride. We'll find her.”

____________________________________________________________________________

  
  


You stared transfixed as Sean strummed one last chord on his guitar, before peeking at you expectedly from the corner of his eye. He was nervous, that much was obvious; kept twitching and rearranging the instrument over his lap. It was endearing, really, but your mind was a little too numb to give him the reaction he wanted. 

Not yet. You needed some time to process.

 

You were a little hesitant when he suggested slipping away from the bickering angels so that you could get the chance to talk properly, but you figured you could always just text Cas later to let him know you were doing ok. You doubted he'd even notice your absence. You weren't planning on staying that long anyways.

But then you started talking.

And boy did Sean  _ talk. _

 

It didn’t bother you or anything, you actually found yourself enjoying his non-stop chatter because for one: it took your mind off Sam and Dean, and for two: the enthusiasm he poured into it could fill rivers, and since he was so open you got the awkward part over pretty quickly as well; the whole ‘getting to know each other’ process flying by in the first couple of minutes.

Pretty quickly you knew exactly what interests the two of you shared. What movies and TV series you both liked. What video games and hobbies and bands.

 

The bands topic was a strong one for him. He was really into music. You didn’t think much of it until he offered to play you a song he himself had written.

After listening to it, granted - he should put some more work into his guitar playing, but his voice was just… 

You were caught off guard. He was surprisingly good.

 

Worried your voice might betray you on the way out, you decided to start clapping instead, and felt a smile creeping unto your face when his eyes seemed to light up in response.

“You liked it..?”

He asked, but you could tell he already knew you did when his shoulders relaxed before you even opened your mouth.

“I did!”

You answered. 

 

“I’m glad I got to see you again.”

For the first time today he actually looked you in the eye, and the sudden shift in his demeanor made you feel somewhat dizzy - as if you turned your head in the other direction too quickly. 

He seemed to genuinely mean it, and it made you almost.. Confused. 

Sure, you definitely had fun together, there was no denying that, but saying something like that with this honest look in his eyes so soon after getting to know you..

You were probably making too much of it.

 

Feeling like you would go insane if you didn’t have something to do with your hands, you hurriedly plucked your phone out of your little black handbag.

 

_ “Crap.” _

______________________

 

After exchanging phone numbers with Sean and walking all the way back to the bench where you were sitting before, you found yourself, rather unsurprisingly, standing face to face with a very furious looking angel. 

Gabriel was nowhere in sight. 

Great. How nice of him to leave you when you needed him. You wouldn’t even mind it if he just stood there, not saying anything. 

All you were asking for was a wall, or just - something that could ensure a safe distance between you and the intimidating celestial being radiating anger from every pore of his body.

your legs felt like they were one with the concrete.

 

“H-Hey..”

You started, voice small and apologetic. You really didn’t mean to worry him. You knew that expression by now - that specific type of anger that did its best to hide concern. Sam and Dean gave you enough practice.

“Where  _ were  _ you.”

It was a question turned demand mid sentence, and you felt your eyes dropping to the floor. 

Your mind came up with an idea - a thought. A very flighty, brief thought. 

That maybe you should lie.

You knew how the brothers were whenever you mentioned boys, and you didn’t know how Cas would react.

 

You got your answer pretty quickly, because of course,  _ of course  _ the damn angel was listening in. His face confirmed it.

It  _ was  _ a breach of privacy, and it  _ did  _ sting, but you couldn’t muster up the courage to get angry.

“I’m sorry.”

You squeaked, but then blinked in confusion when you realized that Castiel’s voice had accompanied your own.

He let out a heavy sigh.

 

“I do not like reading a human’s mind without their consent. There are situations in which I am tempted to, and this one appears to be one of them. I was worried about you. Very worried.”

 

With the apology said in such an honest and caring tone, you felt brave enough to peek back up.

Welp.  _ That  _ was a mistake.

Apparently keeping the anger out of his voice wasn’t as easy as keeping it out of his face. 

“I honestly didn’t mean to worry you..”

 

“(Y\N). You were gone for an entire hour. With a boy you don’t know. Without telling me. I find that a little difficult to believe.”

You felt lost. 

You didn’t know how to explain yourself. 

How could you describe..attraction? 

Having Sean openly show his interest in you was more than flattering. It felt  _ good.  _ It felt  _ really  _ good.

“I.. lost track of time. I know it sounds like an excuse, but I’m not lying to you.”

 

The angel looked unconvinced. A little annoyed even.

“You thought about lying to me only a short moment ago.”

That hit a nerve. 

“That’s not fair Cas! I thought about it!  _ Thought!  _ I wasn’t actually going to go for it! And anyways, you can’t bring my private thoughts into it like they’re evidence to some case you’re building against me!”

That seemed to catch him off guard, and the guilt sprung up to relieve the anger of its duties. His eyes softened a little.

 

“I.. didn’t mean for you to feel attacked. I apologize.”

You crossed your hands in front of your chest and steered your eyes away from his, feeling a little weak from the confusing mix of emotions that hit you.

All of a sudden you felt yourself being drawn into an awkward hug. 

Cas wrapped one arm around your waist while the other came to rest between the black Minnie Mouse ears crowning your head.

A quiet sob escaped before you could stop it.

 

You wanted Sam and Dean.

Now.

They didn’t even text you.

It was your birthday and they didn’t even text you.

When Cas pulled his trench coat around you, hiding you from anyone who might be looking, you let yourself cry in the earnest.

____________________________________________________________________________

 

It was like the sun was returned to him.  _ Years  _ he lived in darkness,  _ years _ . 

His eyes just couldn’t seem to adjust.

Jessica sat across the table, blue eyes peering down at a newspaper. In between turning a page and brushing playful strands of hair behind her ear she would send him a little smile, and every single time - and they’ve been sitting there for at least an hour- Sam thought he would spontaneously combust into flames.

_ Wouldn’t that be ironic? _

 

They’ve made quite the progress with each other these past two days, and in hindsight he guessed he should have expected that. Jessica never put things off for very long. When she wanted something, she got it. Or  _ took  _ it, by force if she wanted it badly enough. 

He just didn’t know she still wanted what he had to offer.

He changed. He was no longer the same person he used to be, and sure, anyone would change over the course of a little over a decade, but hunters changed in different ways then most. It sounded a little pretentious in his head, but it was true. 

He had scars - emotional, and physical to prove it.

 

Not that he had to. Or  _ wanted  _ to. He didn’t exactly find those scars pretty. 

He never even bothered to bring them up in conversation, unless they were a means to get Dean to open up, of course. 

Dean’s habit of bottling up emotions was a big problem, because Dean was  _ Dean,  _ and when Dean acted up it usually didn’t end with a slammed door. Sure, everything always  _ started  _ with a ‘One Manly Tear’ type of deal, but the guy tended to leave things sizzling and fermenting under the surface for so long that when the cork finally came unscrewed the stuff that came gushing out was downright poisonous. To his surroundings  _ especially. _

 

Sam’s way of dealing with things was… a little hazy. 

He thought things over, procrastinated a lot _ ,  _ read, researched, made himself a good cup of coffee, a healthy salad, kept hydrated, worked out - all those things were the definition of healthy, and it  _ was  _ probably the healthiest way one could deal with being surrounded by that much horror so often. 

 

Little (Y\N) played a part in that health as well, a part in that stability. 

She gave him responsibilities that he didn’t know he craved and brought out sides of him that he didn’t know existed. 

Throwing himself into helping her grow; watching her skip his way with a huge smile and a grade sheet filled with A’s was his proudest achievement to day.

But it wasn’t enough.

 

While keeping himself occupied with other people’s problems he tended to skip so high over his own that at times it almost felt like he had explosives up his backside.

It wasn’t always like that. With Jessica he always felt safe enough to share.                  

As if on cue the blonde sent another smile his way, but it was a little concerned. This time her gaze stayed wrapped around him. She didn’t seem in a hurry to get back to her reading material.

“Are you ok? You haven’t moved in a while. At all.”

“Just.. thinking. Sorry. This is just going to take a while for me to get used to.”

She giggled at that, and he realized why as soon as he said it.

 

“You and me both.”   
Came the inevitable reply. Sam downed what remained of his coffee and stood up, gathering their empty plates from the table.

“I’m gonna go do the dishes.”

Jessica just nodded. She caught his eyes before he could slip away into his thoughts though.

“I’ll be here.”

 

It was a promise. A promise he wanted to believe will still hold when the next two years have run their course.

The two stared at each other for a while, but the silence didn’t feel hindered with tension or uncomfortableness. It felt peaceful.

 

Until they heard a door slamming loudly upstairs, followed by Dean shouting:

“I got it! I know everything! I know about the knife! I know about the cure! I know about (Y\F\N)!”

____________________________________________________________________________

 

You were a little confused when Cas told you that you needed to return to the bunker all of a sudden. 

You didn’t understand -  _ at all _ , and he wasn’t willing to tell you anything, but it was getting dark anyways. You figured you were going back soon either way.

Of course, how you felt about it was a different matter. You weren’t sure if you wanted to, and not just because it was  _ freaking Disneyland _ , but because you didn’t know how you would feel about seeing the brothers at the moment.

 

It was strange. If you had to go back say - tomorrow, it probably wouldn’t be as difficult. 

Nevertheless the angel zapped you back right into the middle of the bunker’s empty living room. You couldn’t see yourself, but you were pretty sure you looked miserable at the moment. 

No Sam or Dean.

No Cas either. He had zapped himself away after ‘dropping you off’, and even though the surprising little kiss he left on top of your head before doing so warmed your heart, it had nothing on the coldness you felt standing there on your own.

They were probably out on a case.

 

You took off the Minnie Mouse hairbow, resisting the urge to throw it on the floor just because. Because you were frustrated. Because you were angry and hurt. You hated how much of a child you resembled today.

_ Go to bed. Tomorrow will be a new day.  _

That thought didn’t help. It did the exact opposite of helping.

You found yourself dragging your feet angrily on the way to your room anyways, and you stood there, in front of the door for what seemed like forever.

You didn’t want this day to end. 

Not like that.

 

You laid a hand over your heart to calm it, or tried to at the very least, but gave up eventually. This was just going to be another sleepless night - that was all. 

You turned the doorknob.

 

“Welcome back sweetheart.”

 

_______________________

 

You stared wide-eyed at your bed, where both brothers were sitting alongside one another. Did they make up?

They looked like they were drowning in guilt. More so the longer they looked at you. 

_ “Crap, baby, I’m sorry I,” _

Dean started, getting up and wrapping you in his arms in two big steps that still felt too long to you somehow. 

He squished you to his chest tightly, picked you up, and sat back down with you in his lap.

“I promised you the best birthday ever, I thought maybe spending it at Disneyland with Cas could be...”

 

You perked up at that. 

_ Disneyland was Dean’s idea? _

“I love Cas, and it  _ was  _ nice,”

You admitted. You could tell the hunters needed to hear that, confirmed it even when the younger of the two squeezed your right shoulder lightly.

“I missed you guys though.. I wanted to spend it with  _ you. _ ”

“We’ll make it up to you. I swear.”

Sam promised. 

 

It was like a tug war after that - both of them trying to get you all to themselves by any means necessary. Not that you minded. You found yourself trying to force down smiles and giggles, actually.

“You secretly love all the attention, don’t you?”

Dean teased, smile wide with amusement when your cheeks reddened. 

“I don’t!”

“Right.”

With a hand pressing your head under his chin, the hunter dropped yet another kiss on top of your hair.

_________________________________________________________________________

You woke up when you felt something tagging at your sleeve.

You were laying head first on Sam’s stomach, Dean snoring loudly to your left.

The three of you moved to the sofa to watch Kingsman 2 at some point, which you all thoroughly enjoyed, as it had something in it for each of you.  As fun as it was however, exhaustion eventually won out, hence the awkward sleeping positions.  

 

It was a tiring day and neither of you had the willpower to go back to your own respective beds. Dean suggested staying up to open the presents, but you declined. You wanted to appreciate them when you weren’t on the verge of falling asleep. From the suspicious way Cas was acting before, you were half sure you’ll be needing your energy tomorrow anyways, and it was probably best to go to bed at a reasonable hour. 

So you did, and even though you ended up sprawled over the two of them in an unnatural position, you still got a decent sleep. At least before you were woken up.

 

You yawned, eyes lazily searching for Sam’s face to see what he wanted before realizing he too, was asleep.

You sat up, completely awake.

_ “Shhh.”  _

Tristan was sat kneeling down next to the sofa. He made a signal with his fingers.  _ Follow me _ .

You felt like you didn’t know anything anymore. That’s what today seemed to be telling you - that you couldn’t expect a thing, couldn’t predict a thing a second into the future. 

Maybe you should just… go with the flow. For now.

 

What was he even doing here, though? There were two other girls he was more logical to be with at the moment, one was sleeping upstairs and one was at the hospital. What was he doing looking for  _ you _ in the middle of the night?

 

And he looked… excited, energetic. It was weirdly contiguous, though you hated admitting it to yourself.

Carefully you untangled yourself from under Sam’s arm and Dean’s wayward foot. It stunk. You didn’t know how you didn’t wake up earlier.

You turned to follow Tristan.

 

 _what were_ you _doing?_ _This was stupid! You'll just end up getting your heart broken again!_ Your brain scolded.

Somehow those thoughts melted away when Tristan gave you one of his adorable signature smirks, and you found yourself falling behind as he lead you through the bunker.

“I found it.”

He told you once you were out of the brothers hearing range, standing with your back to the kitchen wall.

“Found what?”

 

The blue eyed teen peered down at you from between these long eyelashes of his. When a boy this pretty looks at you like that it gets kind of hard to concentrate. Which is why you thought you must have missed something when he opened his mouth again.

“I've been seeing in grayscale all this time. I mean, there were some reds here and there, but there wasn’t any other color..”

He trailed off, looking like he truly believed that whatever he just said made sense to you. And he said it with so much  _ conviction  _ too.

“What..?”

 

“I found my rainbow!”

Were you dreaming or something? This seemed like a dream conversation. 

“You found your… rainbow. Right. I'm still asleep, aren't I?”

Before you knew what was happening his lips crashed into yours, and… well,

Your brain didn’t seem to know how to deal with that. Him pulling back right after didn’t help. The side effects seemed to last. 

“I like you (Y\N). A lot.”

 

You didn’t say anything, or move for that matter. You just stared at him.

_ If this is a dream, and I’m  _ in  _ it, then all of this should make sense. Dreams only seem odd once you’ve woken up. _

“Tristan.. are you feeling ok?”

You felt his forehead with your right hand, trying to ascertain if he had a fever.

Somewhere in the back of your mind you knew that you were keeping your emotions behind a reinforced door because you were afraid, and every action, every movement, every word you said was a distraction.

 

Tristan didn’t seem to share those distractions. Instead, he seemed focused.

He looked straight at you, and you felt breathless as your gaze wandered all over the room without finding a safe place to rest on. There was no avoiding his eyes. Not when it honestly felt like they had their very own gravitational pull.

Your heart beat accelerated when he took hold of your hand and slowly pressed it above your head on the wall. Your left joined it soon after, just as slow. You closed your eyes. 

“T-Tri-”

 

His lips were on yours again, this time in no hurry to move. They were warm and soft and wet, and you felt yourself melting into them. 

Your skin felt static. Overly-aware of every sensation; fingers tingling, knees quivering, mind buzzing with excitement and anticipation. 

It went on like that for what felt like forever, only ever stopping for air, and you couldn’t for the life of you point out how and when things happened, but being pressed up against the wall with his hand buried in your hair and him looking down lovingly at you was nothing you could complain about.

 

“I’m sorry. I had stuff going on in my life that I didn’t know how to deal with, and you ended up paying for it.”

Despite your burning cheeks you found yourself nodding in agreement. It was true. Every word of it. You weren’t angry anymore, and you understood what made him act the way he did, but you felt it was only right to acknowledge it. 

“And now? Is this,” You looked between the two of you.. “The right way to deal with these things? What about Bailey?”

Your mind was quickly piecing together what him being here probably  _ really  _ meant.

 

“Bailey and I are over.”

“Tristan. I don’t want to be your rebound.”

“You’re not.”

You made your doubt  _ very  _ obvious.

“Coming over in the middle of the night, bags under your eyes, you say some weird crap about rainbows and then kiss me. I’ll bet a 100 bucks you  _ just  _ broke up with her.”

He went silent, and you forced yourself to let go of his shirt and attempt to loosen yourself out of his hold. Attempt _. _

 

“(Y\N), listen - yes I broke up with her today, but this has nothing to do with it!”

“Let me go.”

He did. He held his hands at his sides and took a step back.

“Please just let me explain. If you want me to leave by the end of it I will, but please let me explain.”

You felt yourself nodding. Sometimes your mind and your body felt completely disconnected from one another, this was one of those times.

To your surprise, Tristan took a seat on the floor in front of you.

 

“I’ve been thinking about everything. About what I care about, and about what I believe, and why I do what I do. I.. I think since that hunt a year ago I.. all that’s been driving me was guilt.”

You knew that. For quite some time now. How  _ he  _ didn’t see it was a wonder. You opened your mouth to tell him that, but the look in his eyes told you he was far from finished. 

“I also thought about Bailey, and what she really means to me.”

Your heart squeezed painfully. You weren’t sure you wanted him to continue. He seemed to notice that, and the next sentence came out more hurried and to the point.

 

“I don’t hate her, but I don’t  _ love  _ her either. Not in a romantic way anyways. I stayed with her because I felt she was my responsibility.”

“And you don’t anymore?”

The words flew out of your mouth before you could stop them. You hoped it didn’t make you sound hopeful - because you  _ shouldn’t be  _ damn it.

If Tristan thought it did he never showed it.

 

“I don’t, but I guess sometimes it takes a particularly hard blow to realize some things.. I’m not,  _ angry  _ at her. I was at first, but then I realized another thing, and that’s that she is not  _ entirely  _ at fault. She’s this way because I let her.”

You sighed, sympathetic, but tired of him being so blind when it had to do with her.

“That sounds  _ exactly  _ like taking responsibility for her.”

“I’m not saying she had  _ no part  _ in it. I’m saying we were both poisonous for each other and that we’re both equally to blame.”

 

_ That  _ made a little more sense. Maybe he wasn’t as blind as you thought he was. There was absolutely nothing you hated more than him taking responsibility for things that had nothing to do with him. Nothing that made you angrier than when he just stood there and took it - all of it. All the crap she threw at him.

 

“I understood something more important than how fucked up my relationship with Bailey is though - That I want to be happy, and  _ you  _ make me happy (Y\N).”

You lowered yourself unto the floor across from him.

Silently, you brought your hand up behind his neck and slid it upwards into his hair. 

This time it was you who initiated the kiss.

____________________________________________________________________________

 

_ “Bee: _

_ I can't figure out if you like storms or just the idea of them. If you like them, shouldn't you like what they bring with them as well? _

_ Because otherwise -  _

_ Otherwise it's just dumb. _

_ You shouldn't want a storm to come if you don't know how to find shelter. If you're too stubborn to look for shelter. You'll just drop dead.  _

_ What's so beautiful about that? _

_ "I wish there was a storm around me. I want people who get near me to stop and look at me." _

_ You want people intimidated. _

_ Why? _

_ To be special? _

_ And what would being special help you with when you're blown away?  _

_ You don't make sense to me. _

_ Do you make sense to you? _

_ Gathering clouds around you and knowing the right words to say to make them weep - That's the easy part about creating a storm. What's hard is dealing with the damages. _

_ You know that friend who wanted to help? The one who squeezed every last bit of water out of himself in an attempt to make it better for you? _

_ He’s empty now. And you - you're drowning yourself in that silly storm of yours and still refusing to start swimming. _

_ This is all so wrong. _

_ After a storm there are clear skies. That's the way it's supposed to end. _

_ But you're too scared of looking into the simplicity of them. No. You need something interesting. You need to stick out.  _

_ A big, dark, heavy rain cloud.  _

_ You’ll stick out alright         _

_ But you'll be alone. _

_ So tell me - Is it really worth it?”  _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo! What do you guys think? I would really love to know :)  
> You're all so helpful and nice to me in the comments. I just wanted to say thank you. Especially because holy shit this fic has nearly 11000 hits now and I'm blown away by it!


	39. College special pt 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Y\N) leaves for college.   
> Don't panic, I didn't time-skip for the rest of the series. This could probably hold as a standalone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to write something short and sweet before I fly to the UK for the convention. This is going to have a part 2, but then we go straight back to the action.   
> I just realized that there was no way I could update the main next chapter of the story in time. I hope this can tide you guys over until I have the time to really sit down and finish it.  
> Hope you enjoy~

 

The sun made you blink as it rose over the rectangular roofs in the distance, dropping warm blankets of light where clouds weren't hovering.  

They draped around you as well, though only partially. The faded blue roof of Sam's charger tore a sizable hole in them. 

You didn't mind. It made you feel more awake as you maneuvered the car down the quiet road. 

Houses in Lebanon were nearly always sitting at a respectable distance from one another, or at least - the houses closest to the bunker were. 

To you, it often felt like there was too much empty space with nothing particularly interesting residing in it. 

Short cropped grass, grey concrete, maybe a stop sign or two if you were really set on exploring, all of it tediously organized on a flat, even surface.

It was like the dollhouse of an unbelievably unimaginative child, or what a video game looked like when your computer took an infinity to render.

 

Unlike other areas in Lebanon though, you thought as the bunker came into view, your home had a wild sort of charm to it.

Since no one bothered to trim the trees they all towered over the entrance boisterous and unruly, branches swaying in the wind like a group of drunks stumbling back to their houses. 

Over the years the area started sprouting a myriad of tall weeds, which hid the metal railings leading down to the entrance from the eye of a passerby who didn't know what to watch for.  

In the summer you could find yellow flowers peeking out here and there, just as they did today, and if the angular doors were made out of wood the place could almost pass for a hobbit's house, tucked into the side of a small hill like that.

The thought would have made you giggle to yourself any other day, but today it only placed a small smile on your lips. 

 

You tore your eyes away from the road, let them travel to the dashboard where the numbers 6:32 glowed green in their black box. 

_ I still have some time. _

You thought. In fact, you had around one or maybe even two more hours until you actually had to say goodbye, but your excitement morphed into anxiety every time you caught a glimpse of your mattress in the rearview mirror, and you felt your heart jump to your throat whenever -

6:33.

No matter how much you hoped it wouldn’t it reacted the exact same way every time the numbers switched.

 

Leaving for college was supposed to be exciting!

_ It is exciting. I am excited. _

You reminded yourself. It was just the fear talking. 

You came to a stop a few feet away from the bunker's entrance, engine still running. The soft hum of it calmed your nerves a little, and the grocery bags at the back rustled softly; the result of the struggling AC trying to keep you cool in the hot August air.

When you were younger Dean's attachment to his beloved Impala seemed ridiculous, but lately, you caught yourself whispering praises and encouragements to the old car as if it was fully sentient and cared about your comfort and well being. In truth - a sentient car would not be the strangest thing you could imagine coming upon. You recalled Sam's story about the time he  _ himself  _ became one.

 

Your phone pinged in your pocket, drawing your attention to it. You picked it up with a frown. 

_ It's that creep again. _

You sighed, screen-capping it and shoving it back inside. Two weeks now. Is that idiot ever gonna give up? 

"(Y\N)!"

You bumped your head into the roof. Ow.

Dean's booming laughter had you glaring as you rubbed the top of your head in annoyance. His shit-eating grin greeted you from outside the window, stretched across his face proudly as if he planned for this to happen in the exact same manner it had.

 

"What?"

You snapped. Dean kept smiling, undeterred.

"Lunch is ready. Sammy made enough for ten people, or you know - enough to last you an entire week."

"Crap."

You quickly turned the engine off and pocketed the key. You left the bags in the backseat for now. You'd come back for them later.

"I would hurry if I were you..."

"I am!"

You exited the charger and slammed the door, running past the smug hunter whose childish taunts followed you all the way over to the bunker's metal doors.

 

The strong, delicious scent of cooking greeted you inside, which was saying something since the kitchen was supposed to be too far away from the entrance for it to be as noticeable as it was. 

Your latest Friends marathon immediately made you think of that one episode where Monica held a fan over a plate of food to get the scent to carry across the hallway.

"He really went full Great British Bake-Off in there."

"Would you- I swear if you don't cut this crap I'll make sure you get vegan burgers for a month!"

 

Dean quietly followed you to the kitchen.

 

The place was overflowing with pots and pans. They covered every flat surface available, including three chairs and a neatly stacked pile of books that were deemed wide enough and carried over from the library. They were covered by a large baking sheet to keep from staining.

Sam stood in the middle of it all, struggling to shove a big salad-filled box into your already stuffed backpack. 

You exchanged a look with Dean. Though he didn't open his mouth, what he wanted to say was pretty obvious.

"Sam,"

You started, taking a small step in his direction. Sam turned around.

"(Y\N)! I didn't see you. I set the table in the living room this time, you guys can start without me. I think I made too much food, I just want to finish putting some of this stuff away first."

Besides you, Dean snorted. 

"Look, Sam... I appreciate all of this, I really do, but I told you I don't need this much food for the road."

You said, gesturing to the hand he still had in your backpack. He shrugged.

"It's a long drive. Better safe than sorry."

 

You held in a frustrated sigh but didn't push it. You'd just have to sneak some of those boxes back into the fridge when he wasn't paying attention.

"Are you sure you really need all that artsy stuff in there? You've got like,"

Sam seemed to be mentally counting, eyes widening slightly as he finished.

"(Y\N) what do you need  _ four  _ sketchbooks for?"

You flushed, fingering the sleeve of your shirt sheepishly.  

 

"One for watercolors, one for pencil sketches, one for Copic markers and the last one is tiny! I just use it to mix the watercolors. It's not that weird."

Dean's smug grin returned, watching your conversation with his younger brother in amusement.

"It's too much, It'll just make your bag heavy. If you really need another sketchbook just buy it when you get to campus."

"How about if I really need another box of _quinoa_ _salad_ I'll- nevermind, that sentence makes no sense. Nobody ever needs quinoa. It's gross."

"It's healthy."

Dean said, eyes creasing at the sides in restrained laughter. You stepped on his foot.

"Ow! I was joking!"

He hissed in surprise. 

 

Your phone pinged again. 

This was starting to become troublesome. You would have blocked the guy if he wasn't getting you so many upvotes on the  _ niceguys  _ subreddit, but maybe it was time you did. His messages were getting a little too disturbing in the past couple of days. You were surprised he didn't send you any dickpics.

"You ok?"

Sam asked, head tilted to the side. You nodded. 

 

"It's uh, just Yuuki. He wanted to know what hour I'm picking him up."

 

____________________________________________________________________________

 

The drive to Chicago was long - nearly 11-hours long. 

Luckily Yuuki was there to ease your journey. 

He matured quite a bit from the socially awkward teen you met on your first day of school; His chest broadened a bit, his nose seemed more defined, he gained a slight stubble and even an inch or two in height. 

What struck you as the most extreme change, however, was the way he talked and moved about. 

 

He was still as introverted as ever - you doubted he'd be who he was without getting the overwhelming urge to stare at a wall by himself every once in a while, but he wasn't shy. 

Not being afraid of speaking his mind made him a very opinionated individual, which you found refreshing. He was blunt. He didn't bother shielding you, or anyone else from his honesty.

The only times when that quality of his backfired was when he'd detail his ‘love life’ in one too many words. 

 

“Are we stopping for gas again? I wouldn't mind another coffee. Or a sandwich.”

Without taking your eyes off the road you felt around behind your seat, grabbing your heavy backpack and throwing it into your friend's lap with an effort.

You had two big suitcases stuffed in the back. The backpack was supposed to be a considerable amount lighter than it ended up being, and that was after removing all the boxes of gooey-looking experimental vegan cheese from the mix.

 

“Dean sneaked some chocolate-chip cookies in there somewhere, and I think there's a salami sandwich too. Let me know if you find the cookies.”

“Can I have the quinoa salad instead?”

Oh yeah... Another thing changed from the time you first met. 

_ He and Dean are on friendly terms now. _

"You don't wanna go down that road Yuuki."

Yuuki didn't answer, only chuckled, tugged out the salami sandwich and started to eat.

 

________________

 

You parked Sam's charger next to a black sedan in the dorm's driveway. 

The skies were dark by now, making the buildings around you look more like shadowy shapes than anything inhabitable. A street lamp shone in the near distance, illuminating the tops of all the other cars, and there were a  _ lot  _ of them. You'd be excited about all the new people you were going to get to meet tomorrow if you weren't so tired.

"Finally!"

Your friend exclaimed, already out and stretching his arms upwards as far as they could go. 

You hurried out and around to the back of the charger. 

The mattress you brought with you lay tied in its place by a group of expertly made knots - Dean's work. 

You didn't have the patience to start untangling them from one another, so instead you loosened them as much as you could with harsh pulls that nearly dropped you to the ground when you unwittingly put too much of your back into it.

After a few more seconds of struggling, you got your suitcases out from underneath.

 

You turned to face Yuuki, who was already holding his own bags, having thrown them in the backseat and not under the damn mattress. He picked up your backpack too, you noticed.

You gave him a grateful smile.

"Coming?"

He asked. Instead of answering, you took a step in the direction of one of the smaller buildings. Knowing that Yuuki and you would arrive late, you managed to arrange for someone to show you the way to your rooms.

"They got unisex dorms, you don't think there's a chance my roommate will be a dude, do you?"

You asked.

"Of course not."

 

The two of you dragged your things towards a locked wooden door that had a laminated sheet of paper with the numbers 56 glued to it with some washi tape. 

You knocked three times and then waited. Nobody answered. You exchanged a look with Yuuki. 

"Sadie? It's (Y\N), remember me? We talked on the phone?"

You called, dropping a couple more knocks on the door. 

 

The sound of shuffling feet answered from the other side, followed by quiet mumblings of  _ 'Just a sec's, 'crap's _ and some louder  _ 'Wait's  _ that rose in volume with every one, the last one making you flinch as it rang through the silent night air.

You stepped back reflexively when the door swung open, even though it opened inwards, not outwards.

The eyes of a sleepy looking girl looked at you apologetically from between a mess of red hair. 

"Sorry, I forgot!"

She confessed, jumping from one fuzzy-socked foot to the other.

"Come on I'll show you where you're staying."

 

After slipping into a pair of boots, Sadie lead you into another building, explaining and pointing things out as she walked, but it was too dark to see and you were too tired to really listen. 

You dropped Yuuki off at his room and then continued to walk for another minute or two until you reached your own. 

Sadie stopped abruptly, and you ran into her with a light thump. She laughed and put a hand over your shoulder to steady you from tripping. 

"Here."

She said, handing over a small key. 

"Thank you."

You said. You genuinely meant it.

"I would've gotten lost without you."

 

"No problem. To tell you the truth I only went to bed like,"

She stopped to reach for her phone.

"Man, half an hour ago... I should really stop pinteresting that late."

You got the sense that she was thinking out loud, not really addressing you.

"Anyways,"

She snapped back into her cheerful self, wide smile plastered across her freckled face.

"If you need anything, let me know."

 

________________

 

Morning washed over you like cold water. One of the brothers, probably Dean, set your ringtone to the highest volume. Not only that, the ass changed it - to what you could only conclude were the sounds of an ambitious rooster with a dream to become an opera singer one day.

You climbed off your bed angrily, practically yanking your phone off the charger.

"What?"

You barked, not bothering to look at the screen.

 

"Good morning (Y\N). Is something bothering you? You sound slightly aggravated."

The low voice of Castiel greeted you politely. You cringed, feeling a little guilty.

"No, it's uh - sorry. Everything's ok."

You promised.

"Are you certain? Dean informed me that you have prohibited he and Sam from calling before eight, but they seem to be, as you humans are fond of saying, 'Losing their shit', so I thought I'd call instead. I hope seven isn't too early, I wouldn't call if I didn't truly think it necessary."

 

The way the angel pronounced the crude word made you giggle into the sleeve of your shirt, just to make sure he wouldn't be able to pick it up.

"I'm ok. Great, actually. I have two roommates, one isn't here yet and the other was out partying last night, so I didn't have to make awkward conversation before going to bed."

Your eyes zeroed in on said roommate, passed out and snoring loudly on the bed across from you. Her blue-dyed hair covered most of her face, but you could still spot a hint of red lipstick that had smeared down to her chin during the night. Some saliva oozed out from the side of her mouth.

Maybe it wasn't such a surprise that your new ringtone didn't wake her. 

 

"I'm glad to hear, and did you sleep- what? Wait, I don't-"

Castiel voice faded as he turned to address someone on his side of the line. Some shuffling followed.

"How're you doing sweetheart?"

Dean asked in a warm, caring tone. You smiled despite yourself.

You will get your revenge someday, but for now, it was good to hear his voice.

"I hate roosters. Least favorite animal of all times."

The deep sound of his laughter made you want to both kick him and hug him at the same time.

"Well, can you wait another four months? I'll help you hunt one down for Thanksgiving."

 

"Hilarious."

You answered sarcastically, but there was no real bite to it.

"I'm doing fine. Classes don't start for at least another hour, so I'm thinking I should probably explore a little."

"Sounds like a good idea."

Dean agreed.

 

"You gonna take Yuuki with you?"

You rolled your eyes. 

When Yuuki was younger the hunter didn't pay him any attention, but ever since he developed an interest in Karate somewhere between 11th and 12th grade, Dean started treating him like a lot better; like family even. Not like a brother - they weren't  _ that  _ close, but like a nephew he liked to invite over every once in a while to watch Jackie Chan movies with him.

 

It was cute until you figured out that by befriending your best friend Dean simultaneously gained two things he wanted: A trained bodyguard to watch over you (not that you needed one, especially when it worked the other way around on various occasions), and a spy to keep him updated on your school life. 

Of course, the latter only held for a week until you found out about it and set them both straight.

 

"Nah, I think he's still asleep. I'm gonna go on my own."

The other line was quiet for a moment, and you knew Dean was battling the urge to say anything more about the subject.

Finally, he moved to another matter.

"Sammy probably wants to talk with you. Just say it tasted good, ok?"

You giggled.

"Do you really think the first question he's gonna ask is gonna be about his cooking?"

 

"Listen, I don't think kid's got lotta things going for him right now. Hunting isn't exactly a fun activity, he read all the books in the bunker twice, and now that you're gone..."

Dean trailed off. 

Your heart gave a sharp pang.

"I'm not  _ gone _ , I'm  _ away _ . And It's not like I don't plan to visit."

"You better. I don't have much going for me either, you know."

His tone was forcefully cheerful as he said that.

_ I'm gonna regret this... _

 

"Hey, how does calling before eight sounds? We can even have a video chat all three of us every day before classes start." 

You could have imagined it, but for a second there you thought you heard a sigh of relief from the other line.

"I'm sure it'll make him happy to hear that. Wait a sec', let me find him."

A moment passed, accompanied by the sound of two sets of boots hitting the ground. One of them belonging to a quiet-as-always Cas, you guessed.

"(Y\N)! How are you doing? Did you like the chickpea pancakes? It's a new recipe I found online."

 

"Yeah, it tasted really good Sam!"

 

____________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo.. what do you guys think?
> 
> I'm sorry, the convention is getting super close and I have to let some of this excitement out in some way!  
> I can't freaking wait. I'm actually gonna be in London for a week before going to Birmingham.   
> Do any of you know of cool places to visit? It doesn't have to be strictly London by the way, we're visiting Brighton and probably some other places as well. It's been a really long time since I went abroad somewhere. This is my first time with friends instead of family and I really wanna make the best of it.  
> I'm on Cosmunity (it's an app for events\conventions) as @ArtWorm1, so if any of you are going, (it's from 4-6 of May) I'd love to see you in person! You can also message if you just wanna say hi.  
> I have a feeling I'm gonna look like a complete idiot in front of the boys, but you can't blame me, I've been wanting to go for years!  
> Do you guys have any ideas for cool photo-op poses? I have a duo with J2, one with Misha, and separate j2s that I'm sharing with my friends. Also one with Alex (Jack) that I'm gonna share.   
> This convention wiped out like half my savings from my last job but I don't care, which should be bad I guess but this is a bucket list thing so I'mma forgive myself for this one.  
> Ok I'll stop before this turns into an essay.
> 
> Also, before I forget - Julamothy_winchester73 thank you for your suggestions on this chapter and the next one. It was really sweet of you :)
> 
> Thaaaats it. Next update's notes are gonna be so long...

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are VERY much appriciated. So are suggestions and any constructive critisism you might have. This is my first fic and English isn't my native language, so if there are any grammar mistakes I'm sorry!  
> I had this story on my computer for two months before I got the courage to post it.  
> I mean, as I'm writing this I still didn't click the 'post' button. Damn it! Ok count to three!  
> 1  
> 2  
> 3  
> There!


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